I almost died crossing the street today.
I saw all the code i ever wrote pass before my eyes.

Very exciting news, just thought I’d share.

I was a computer engineering student before I left school to have my first child (and then second, third, and fourth).

I stayed at home for five years, out of necessity, not by choice, and struggled to get back into tech.

I eventually stared freelancing Wordpress sites, because in a small town, I didn’t have any other opportunities.

When not doing that, I took online classes and did side projects, mostly in Javascript.

This summer I got an internship at Mozilla through GNOME Outreachy doing python work.

It’s completely unreal to me...but I have been offered a contract-to-hire position with Mozilla.

After years of feeling like I would never succeed, I have my first real programming job.

Ridiculously awesome benefits and pay...

Holy fucking hell.

Professor : Explain deadlock and I will give you full marks.

Me:- You give me full marks and I'll explain deadlock.

When coding is life..

(Taken from a bus)

I recently met a young fella (14yo) playing League of Legends. He asked:
- What do you do for a living?
- I'm a programmer, do you know anything about programming?
- I don't, actually.

Apparently he was playing from a LAN Gaming center 'cause he didn't have a computer at home (his computer had broken and these Lan centers are pretty affordable).
I figured I could explain to him what was it and what super powers you could get from it. Turns out I recommended a JS course in codecademy and now he goes to the LAN center every day to study programming (he got really into it!).
Now he always pings me with questions about JS and apparently he's learning a ton! He had almost no English skills too (we're Brazilian), and because most of the material in the internet is in English he found himself some free English courses and he's now taking them!

Knowledge is free on the internet and I guess he's just realized that.

Not exactly a rant guys, just figured it was a nice story to tell :)
#TeachAKidHowToCode

Mom : My washing machine is not working.
Please fix it.
Me : I am a computer engineer.
Mom : You are an engineer though.
Me : That's not how it works.
.
.
.
2 hours and many YouTube tutorials later
Me : It's done.
Mom : Didn't I tell you you can do it.

How everyone uses stackoverflow:
1. Work on some project
2. Spot a bug
3. Try to solve the bug and fail.
4. Write a question for SO.
5. Post question on SO.
6. Get the answer and some points.

How I use stackoverflow:
1. Work on some project
2. Find a bug
3. Try to fix the bug and fail
4. Write a question on SO
5. Get scared that I might be downvoted.
6. Spend 45 minutes optimizing the structure of the question.
7. Try additional tests to cover all possible scenarios.
8. Still scared to click post.
9. Scrap everything and restart line by line writing further details of each step in your question.
10. Find the bug myself.
11. Click cancel on the question that took me 3+ hours to write.
12. Cry.

Girl: we need to talk!

Me: Ok...

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

Q: What is the most used language in programming?

A: Profanity.

Case closed, stop arguing!

Girl: I love guys who are rich.
Me: I paid for sublime and winrar.
Girl: Your place or mine??

My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.

@dfox I just double tapped a rant to ++ it and then, after I double tapped, I got this:

Linux doesn't need viruses people fuck that shit up themselves

Shouldn't a friend class be called a friends-with-benefits class, since it can touch their private members? 🤔🤔🤔

Roses are red,
violets are blue;
If I were a query,
I'd SELECT * FROM you;

Let's make a JavaScript framework and call it Vanilla.js just to fuck with everybody.

Our dear freelance web dev, you absolutely need to come to our office on the other side of the city during working hours when it's impossible to find parking space for an urgent meeting to discuss you copy/pasting to a web page a simple block of text we'll send you via email

<rant data-type="corny">

My Gf of 3 years left me for some douche. Thus said, she "removed" her feelings before kissing him. WTF! I didn't know feeling came like dependencies...

</rant>

The more you know, the less you need.

My best friend's ex is really cool. But while they were dating, I was a bit frustrated, mainly because he was interested in many things she wasn't.

One thing that annoyed me was that his major is computer science, and her major is medical research.

GIRL, IF ONLY YOU WERE ALSO MAJORING IN COMPUTERS. YOU CAN ASK THE GUY FOR HELP WITH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS. EXPLOIT HIIIIM. HAVE COFFEE DATES AT STARBUCKS AND CODE TOGETHEEER. HIT TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE

Visual Basic at high-school, pascal and C and Java at University. VBA for macros on a job. html+css+js learnt o er a weekend to pass the screening for a new job, then ruby and php on that job to build internal tools. Now I am into python for data science. It has been fun.

!rant
One thing I like about DevRant is , even when a rant fails miserably, dev's will find some creative way to make it funny or useful.

Let the hate begin 😂😂