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-
When one of those "Your windows has been infected, click here to remove virus now" ads slips through the adblocker while I'm on my Linux
4 -
assignment: use winAPI to create a "virus" that put itself in autorun and does nothing.
me, a curious student: does the assignment and adds a heap corruption code just as a joke.
after sending the assignment to the teacher I realized that I have sent the real virus.
result: teacher comes next lesson without a computer and stares at me silently and viciously.
we'll see what happens next
any idea on what's going on in his head?37 -
Customer: IT is completely useless! I’m getting PORN ADS on my work computer!? This is ridiculous!!!
Friend: Oh that’s not good, perhaps your computer has a virus of some sort let me take a look!
Friend takes a look and sees that the porn ads were all provided by google ad service, they weren’t related to a virus.
Friend: so, you don’t have a virus, but so that you know google gathers metrics on the sites you visit so that it can target ads at you better. Looks like that’s what’s happening here.
Customer: .............17 -
If you accidentally send out a porn link, your best line of defense is to send 10 more, then blame it in a virus.
In fact just make a virus at this point.15 -
!rant
Girlfriend doing her first IT internship:
"I think I got the roto virus"
Me: "Disconnect LAN cable and turn off PC, so that you do not infect the entire company's network".
GF: "Why would I do that, it's my body that feels bad".4 -
What if "WannaCry" was just a elaborate way for Microsoft to get people to upgrade to Windows 10?
😁😁😁15 -
These foreign Indian scammers keep calling me about "computer virus".
Today, the guy told me to press ctrl + Windows key. I told him I use Arch Linux and then told him I use Netscape as my browser, and he still didn't take the hint.
He asked me "how can you have the Windows key on your keyboard and use Linux?".
#stupidfuck9 -
Boss : How do you access code at home ?
Me : Well, Git is fairly accessible from anywhere with the right credentials at hand
Boss : What of you have virus in your system ? Can't the virus infect our NodeJS code ?
Since then, I haven't been able to get out of the mental comatose induced.5 -
A friend called me up today . Here's how the conversation went
Jack :- Hey dude , my computer is lagging way too much . Do you think there's something wrong ? Like Virus ?
Me :- I don't know . What do you think might have caused that ?
Jack:- Oh , I kept my flash drive open without a cover , it might have caught some virus from the air.
Me :-
7 -
Here's an idea.
Make a virus called nudes
Everyone that says "Send Nudes"
I will send them "nudes"5 -
Back in 2011 when I was 14, I created a cmd shortcut on all pc in my school's computer lab. Replaced the icon and renamed it to Internet Explorer. Deleted the original IE shortcut and a week later the lab got closed because they all the computers got infected with a "virus"
i know im lame kill me7 -
I found a python virus online a while ago that just corrupts your .py files, so I wanted to do something similar and after writing it I ran it on my pc, it corrupted all of my .py files.27
-
This just happened:
Boss: "Hey I can't send this mail, can you take a look?"
Le Me: *looking at the logs*
Le Me: "Your mail gets a spamscore of 2007.69 of max 2000. There is a virus in your mail."
Boss: "oh."
And it was a mail which he received from somebody and wanted to forward....7 -
Step-dad : "Chrome is good"
Me : "Yeah but Firefox Quantum :/"
Step-dad : "That's a virus"
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀16 -
Me: *uses google chrome*
Parents: Stop, log out of everything, you're hogging up the internet, omg
Me: *unplugs computer*
Parents: *their computer still not working* You downloaded a virus to our wifi you're grounded for a month3 -
Yeah. Exactly. Its the year 2718. Humanity was destroyed by a deadly virus. The only thing that's left is A GIGBAYTE MAINBOARD.
6 -
Advice from my neighbour:
" Don't use laptop so much, you know eyes are really soft, virus can easily enter to your brain through your eyes. If you take my advice it's good for you."
-_-7 -
My mom: "there's a virus in my phone! It says so when I open Chrome!"
Me: "...stop clicking on strange links that your friends send you, mom. Nobody will ever give you free Nespresso capsules for life as a gift."
Every damn time.4 -
When the school network blocks social media and I over hear some young scrubs...
Scrub1 - "Yeah I use 3 VPN's"
Scrub2 - "Really I only use one"
Scrub1 - "Get some more dude"
I walk over and ask what VPN stands for and one slowly says "Virus Protection umm ahh...... Network"7 -
When I downloaded a virus that turned out to be a troll. It spawned some windows with 'Trololololo...' flashed blue and red and jumped random on the screen while playing troll music.
Closing one window would lead to that window beeing duplicated.
When I got into coding, one of my first projects was a recreation of this.1 -
Went with a cousin to hospital for vaccination .I took a pen and wrote: "Anti-Virus database updated 09.01.2017" . Now I am not allowed to stay with my cousin :(
-
In my new neighborhood I found this WiFi network which has been protected for so long by just its name "Virus".
Am sure the owner never thought of geeks who instead of running away from" virus" just get closer.
Am ranting using "virus" network7 -
Me: I want the laptop without pre installed Windows.
Seller: Genuine windows will take care of viruses. It's virus proof.
Me:😂 Windows? Ok but I don't want that, give me without it. 😂😂😂13 -
I sent the iPhone crasher in my classgroup yesterday. Today morning a few girls out of my class said that I triggered a virus with a textmessage. Bruh6
-
My first experience with Swift ended in me infecting myself with a virus (kinda). I wanted to create a macOS app that would listen for a global key event, catch it and then type a word.
During development I set it up to listen for ANY key event and to type "BALLS". So what happened? I compiled the code, everything looked good, I started the app and pressed a key which emitted a key event. The event was caught by my app and it typed "BALLS", just as expected. However, the typing of the word caused a NEW key event to be emitted, which the app also caught. The infinite loop was a fact. FUCK!
I tried closing down XCode but all I could see was "BALLS BALLS BALLS" everywhere. I tried everything I knew but it just kept typing "BALLS". I had to hold down my power button to make it stop.
I finally finished the app (which I named "The Balls App", I kept the word "BALLS"). I solved this issue by only listening for KeyUp and when emitting the "BALLS" word I just used KeyDown.6 -
I was trying to fix my computer illiterate sisters computer, then I found out that there were two anti-virus programs that tried to delete each other.
When trying to delete the software I found out that the system admin does not have permission to use administrator rights at all. So in frustration I copied any valuable files, and reinstalled the entire OS.
Sometimes I wonder how people end up in these situations. She had 4 different anti-virus programs and still ended up getting multiple viruses! xD
7 -
Coworker: This guy's computer is completely messed up...
Me: What? Why?
Coworker: So he installed some virus...
Me: Yeah? And...?
Coworker: And apparently it changed all certificates for antivirus programs into Untrusted Certificates - so he can't install anything that could remove the virus!
Me: That's horrifying..7 -
Photo I took last week.. I thought there is some virus heating up my laptop.. but then I figured out .. it was chrome browser and extremely hot weather 46.7℃
11 -
When a MacBook user says..."Unlike Windows, Macs don't get infected plus they're faster than Windows anyway". And I'm all like..
24 -
Easy 50$... (l)user brings in a tablet and says she’s got a virus.... okay.
(L)user - “I have a virus, I can’t click on anything and there’s a green box around everything.”
Me - *turns off TalkBack* here you go, all fixed.14 -
friend: "oh my god i have a virus!"
me: "let me see..."
me: *ticks the "don't allow this page to create any more alerts" checkbox in chrome, then closes the page*
friend: "how did you do that?"
me: "magic!"3 -
How to reproduce:
human - F**k
process - Fork
Is that skeumorphism of words/sound by Unix developers ?5 -
Like the new feature on Google Play Store where the changelog can be directly seen in a dropdown on the updates page.
4 -
Mom: You gave our keyboard a virus with your programming! You're not allowed to use the computer any more!
(the keyboard was 10 years old)2 -
Happened half a year ago (parents both use Linux although they're very a-techie).
*Dads laptop comes back from store after a repair*
Dad: (on the phone) hello son, could you help me out? they put some weird stuff on my laptop at the repair centre...
Me: Weird stuff? like what?
Dad: It's a virus I think
Me: A virus??
Dad: Definitely a virus!
Me: And what is this virus called?
Dad: Windows 10!
Me: Oh yes coming over asap to get that removed!
I put elementary OS on it again when i went to visit my parents.
17 -
Google Duplex: "Hi! Uhm.. I'd like to make a dinner reservation for 3."
Restaurant: "Sure! What time would you like?"
Google Duplex: "It's, uhh.. for tomorrow May the 11th at NULL POINTER EXCEPTION."
Restaurant: "Internal Exception: Invalid parameter not satisfying: time"
Btw, hi devRant, this is my first post!!4 -
First step of creating antivirus,
void main() {
printf("✅Scan Complete.
0 threat found.
Upgrade to premium");
}2 -
“ThAnK YeW 4 KallIng MicraroSoFt TekNicAll SuppUrt, mY nAmE iS JaKe. YoUR KomputeR HaS VirUs ThaT NeEds ReMoVal.”
Go float yourself you sack of shit, your mother should have swallowed.10 -
Sometimes I feel like a freak. So many rants are about things that just never seen to happen to me.
I've been using Windows 10 since release, never had an update while I was working.
I've never gotten a virus from an ad, abs don't use AdBlock.
I've never had a crash that lost my work, I save neurotically or the program automatically saved.
I've never had trouble with typing in any language, static or dynamic.
I've never had issues with semicolons, IDEs or compilers tell me the issue explicitly.
I guess I'm just weird or something :/15 -
~ Freelancer.com Week #1 ~
Project: I need someone to debug an application's code and review it. Budget 30 bucks.
Bid: I am an experienced developer I can probably review it in an hour.
client: Hi, need you to check if app is contains virus [link to scam website]
me: sure, download supposed "social Bitcoin miner" and run some AV tests...8+ positive flags for a Trojan virus.
>Me: It's a Trojan virus mate it's not legitimate😟
>Client: Can you remove the Trojan virus so that the legit not stays?
Me: Umm there is no bot mate it's just a virus 😕 I wouldn't open it outside a sandbox
Client: But here it says Bitcoin faucet bot [links shitty how-to youtube video]
Me: 😒 it's not real dude you are about to get scammed, I can test it in a VM if you. . .
Client: I opened it already, it's working
Me: 😮 r u sure?
Client: yes, can you install VM for further testing?
Me: sure, in your computer?
Client: yes
Me: just download the windows image and text me when it's done
Client: My disc is full! Only 3 gb left
Me: 😑 call me when you clean it
Client: [ offline ]5 -
Someone should write a really infectious virus for Linux to make all the fanboys shut the fuck up about security.11
-
!Rant
*Whenever there's a big hacking thing that happened in cyberspace and the media gets the footage*
"Hey! You! you the website developer. Can you like get a hoodie and smash the keyboard."
"Why?"
"Big virus leak"
"But that's not ha.."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE HOODIE ALREADY"5 -
Who said Linux cant be hacked?
Despite of best practises, now I am out of the sudoers list of my own machine.15 -
Yesterday, my girlfriend caught a virus. There were 5+ running programs, in program files, program files x86, system32, basically everywhere. The virus modified chrome, firefox, edge (and even installed a false uc browser assuming we had one), there are many entries at startup programs, also running daemons, once you kill one of them, the others detect it and replicate their killed fellows. Tried to run a linux live usb disk for a cleanup, but the computer hibernates instead of shutdown, making modifications on disk risky.
I spent hours trying to suppress the processes, do a manual cleanup and antivirus search. It looked all cleaned up, then I reinstalled chrome, and now it switches its homepage everytime I open it, it also injects batch arguments to desktop link forum chrome (deleting it manually does not help, it comes back). I'm a linux guy, and in a few hours, I hated windows more than ever.
If anybody knows the authors, I *really* want to meet them. I promise I'm not going to punch them, but kneel down, bow my head in respect, and say "teach me master."14 -
Indian tech support calls me:
"Hello, we're calling from Microsoft support because we've detected a virus on your Windows computer"
"Uhm, I've got a mac" (Lie)
Hangs up..
HAHAHA15 -
Story time!
About seven years ago, I was in high school and had friends who kinda rocked with computers. I mean, they knew how to build one, how to make cross tests to find what was wrong with one, which softwares to install to detect viruses, etc. Once, I was with one of these friends, A, when another friend, G, came to us to explain his problem: his computer didn't turn on anymore. He said that he opened the computer, took off the RAM, that let the computer start once, but when he switched off again he wouldn't start anymore.
I was just a silent witness, and A started to ask G how it did happen. "Oh, I was downloading an Allopass generator, when my computer froze."
I smiled.
"But where on hell did you download that? So we can try to find exactly what virus you downloaded! " "Actually", said G, "I was on a streaming site at first, then saw an, then another, and after a dozen sites I found this soft..."
"But", A couldn't believe it, "you don't have antivirus or anything that would have told you not to download it?"
"Oh, it tried, but I reaaaaaally wanted this software. So I shut down it and managed to download it."
I burst in laugh. At the same time I was feeling bad for this poor computer. What amazed me it that not once during the process, G thought it was a bad idea to download an Allopass generator found in an ad that even his antivirus told him it was dangerous.
Nice ending, A took the computer, and managed to make it work again. He even managed to keep important stuff that wasn't destroyed by the virus. G got a little lesson by A, then got yelled at by his parents, because the computer was in fact theirs.
Thanks for reading, and sorry if there's any mistake (grammar, punctuation, etc.), I am on my phone with autocorrect set on french. Have a nice day!5 -
Since december Windows keeps telling me that my IT administrator wants to scan my items when I build something in Visual Studio.
We have no IT administrator.
The illuminati are controlling my anti virus software
3 -
I've discovered Bulma Framework yesterday, been using Bootstrap now for a long time. But man,
I FUCKING LOVE BULMA!!!17 -
Last year I made a shitty game in SDL2, uploaded it to sourceforge. And checked back to see it recognized as a virus, quite strange. And I scan the file and it turns out it has been detected as a variant of WannaCry.
Laughing my ass off xD1 -
This, my friends, is a very common virus in Turkey called "Musallat" (which is just a tiny program that hides all of your data in your flash drive inside a hidden folder that has a blank name, and forces you to click it's shortcut to infect all other drives thag plugged in your pc) being clicked by my dumb ass friend eventhough I told everyone to not click the .lnk if they see it.
I am so fucking mad right now.
7 -
So had this virus today...
Doesn't let me install avast.
Doesn't let me run cmd
Closes Firefox everytime I mention the word malware in the search
Closes IE too if I search malware
Mines crypto
Appears out of nowhere even after I surgically remove it with Linux.
I guess I have to reinstall my OS :(13 -
Life Before the Computer
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3-inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut - you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!3 -
*senior designer*
Last year I had a meeting with the newly hired Senior Graphics Designer.
She was presenting the new design of the company's website with all the features she wants.
After a few minutes, I asked her, did you design it as a responsive website?
"What is that?" She said. I said that the website should display or have atleast a design for mobile view and desktop view.
And she replied, "is that a requirement?"
Talks to myself: how the hell we hire designers like this?
PS, she earns 4x my salary5 -
Who's at fault for the recent Wanna Cry virus: The companies affected or Microsoft/NSA?
Personally, I think it's the companies affected. This is what happens when you try and be cheap when it comes to cyber security.11 -
All crypt!
Blamed my brother giving me computer blue waffles over the just plugged drive and it'd be crypting all files.
Turned out I lose SATA of my primary drive.
Cussing 1/2h for a sincere excuse.
Thx 4 being the brother you are, brother.
1 -
I was making a prank app which turned to my first virus.
One day my mother told me that the programers in her work were offering to her to show them the virus and if their program dont catch it they will give me a reward. It was not catched by the program and i got the reward it was not so big but the feel was awesome7 -
You don't really need a antivirus if you are carefully enough on the internet, haven't used one for the past 5 years or so.17
-
In C++ we don't say "Missing asterisk" we say "error C2664: 'void std::vector<block,std::alocator<_Ty> >::push_back(const block &)': cannot convert argument 1 from 'std::_Vector_iterator<std::_Vector_val<std::_Simple_types<block> > >' to 'block &&'" and i think that's beautiful
(not mine, source: https://goo.gl/Akxjih)4 -
I just installed some anti-virus, little did i know it was also going to install their 'System "Speed up" software'
Was using 50% of my Disk Usage 40% of my ram and 100% of one of my CPUs ... great job at speeding up my system4 -
I hate setting up case statements cause it's hard to cover every case. What if a virus puts a gun to my programs head? What if my program is at a cache party and chrome offers it weed? What if my program isn't gay, but $20 is $20?2
-
Not dev related but still a rant:
My company decided that all the network traffic should go throu a virus scanner. But they don't know what the fuck they are doing, so now EVERY valid SSL cert gets rejected by our browsers because the virus-scanner breaks the SSL encryption.
Anyone open for a pishing attack?8 -
News: New virus installs cryptocurrency miner on IoT devices.
Me: I hope it was worth the whole 37 cents they made.10 -
Not asking students to learn the code. Seriously stop doing that.
Instead motivate them to understand the logic and then build it when required.3 -
My dear EU people... what the fuck is going on?!! Why is no one reporting about that?! fuck gdpr this is serious.
https://saveyourinternet.eu/21 -
this === 'rant'
> True
A million dollars for the head that creates a lethal virus that forcefully uninstalls IE and installs Firefox/Chrome and unleashes it upon planet Earth. Sorry if this sounds too harsh but guess what? FUCK IE.13 -
My mom got infected with one of those stupid you have a virus redirect viruses. Malware bytes isn't useful.
To make matters worse it doesn't redirect in Edge, so she's forced to use Edge until further notice.
It's going to be a long week.
Also I don't have much experience with Windows viruses especially these redirect ones, so yay!17 -
Friend :- so you went so deep into programming.
Me :- yeah but not too far.
Friend :- can you fix my laptop infected by virus?
*handing me his lapi*
Me :- of course. is your windows is original?
He :- yaa!! I mean you know I like original not like your pc.
Me :- *deleted win 32 file *2 -
My windows laptop was having performance issues since last few days.
LAPTOP MAINTENANCE MODE ACTIVATED!
So scanned my whole system with an anti-virus, cleared unwanted data with Ccleaner, quick defragged the C drive, did system restore etc etc, still no luck.
Today I found out the reason: someone had turned the 'Power Options' to 'Power Saver'.10 -
I was watching tech scamming videos on YouTube where a scammer tries to lock your computer with syskey and then asks for money to unlock it!
In the video, the scammer used "tree" in CMD and then manually typed "virus found" and said that they require 500$ for repairing!
OMG!
SERIOUSLY? "TREE"?4 -
Dematerialized into the system like TRON where I'll be worshipped by the programs I wrote as their god and shape the world as I see fit :D1
-
*Me testing my api with vue.js*
Me: can you please update salesforce content and add new image.
Coworker: Done,image updated:
Me: did you click the sync button? Image seems to be not loading.
Co-worker: why don't you clear your browsing history and clear your cache.
Me: (talking to myself: you are asking me to clear my cache? ME? ME? ME?) Smiles back to coworker.
Co-worker: Did it work?
Me: Nope! Seems to it that you have not sync the content on salesforce. Please hit the sync button.
Co-worker: I did!
Me: I ask co-worker B he said content is not sync.2 -
Asus people!
Time to install some virus scanner 😲
The Asus bloatware software updater was hijacked to install malware.
11 -
My grandfather has two anti virus programs installed, but only wants one.
Guess who has to fix it...5 -
A friend of mine had made a virus that changed and renamed all of my icons to Internet Explorer. The worst part, the icons would have a 50/50 chance of being Internet Explorer or the actual application that I needed1
-
day 1: try not to use ad blocker, and install few programs from several websites.
day 2: format my pc9 -
A friend and I in secondary school accidentally put a 5p in the disk tray, and it then started going mental.
The IT technician came and instantly said it was a virus. They ended up throwing the computer away...3 -
It was Adblock Plus that was making my Firefox Android terribly slow.
Just realized it after cursing 🔥Firefox for months.3 -
My non dev friend called me in middle of night for getting shortcut virus removed! I would have blasted 🔫 him but I felt pity on the guy as I know that he is poor with tech stuff
Any he had only windows, so I Google up solution and replied back to him.
He asked where to put it. I told him in cmd. He is like what so I told him to press win+r then in that type d and "black" 🏴 window will appear. Type in that.
guess what he typed exactly as mentioned in the reply and didn't replace the drive name properly .😑
I told him to put proper drive and saw that he missed spaces so l told him that he missed space 😤 and he put only one space and it still had problem so I had to explain it in weirdest was possible( shown in fig 1.1 had been writing report and figure gave yo be mentioned with number 😅)
Finally. It was all done! Well some pf my cs ( !counter strike but computer science friend) are worse then this can't use teminal or even connect to WiFi (wpa-enterprise @ college with mschap v2 and peap auth which is crackable using twin tower and brute force) properly, do I guess it not BA's that this guy cry to get rid of shortcut virus (virus > wifi setup) 😬
Finally I feel relived after ranting 😪
5 -
!rant
Simple Question: What do you think about Anti Virus Software?
I think it's useless to buy them because free ones are as good as paid ones.25 -
I work as a front end developer at a company. This site is using WordPress and I need a paid plugin, but I wanted to test the full version first without paying, so I googled it. Downloaded it and installed it right away.
NOTE I was working on the test server, where all other projects are placed in a subdirectory of public_html (public_html/websites/<other websites>), but instead on placing the website folder where are the others, I placed it in the parent directory (public_html), (where are some others folders and files). Everything goes fine, but a few days later, I wanted to modify something in functions.php of that theme and I noticed a strange code, base64 format, so I decrypted it and turns out it's a backdoor that puts code in other files of the theme, so it can add an Admin in the DB anytime, so it can remotely connect to the website. Because, as I said, the website was in the public_html directory, and the virus search for the other folders and files in the same directory and his children, it affected the rest of the websites (50+).
I reported that to my boss, but says it's fine and to give more attention next time and to install the website in the same directory as the others. Couldn't fix automatically and I had to remove manually in every website every file created and the lines that the virus added.5 -
So ... I'm just watching an anime (Musaigen no Phantom World) ... and this scene isn't related to the main plot. This is the intro of the third episode - the intros of the first two episodes were about the "phantoms", "illusions" ... :)
It starts with a blue screen and the little fairy (it's a phantom btw) said: "When the PC goes crazy, you panic quickly."
In the screenshot he says: "It is important to back up your data somewhere in case of an emergency."
A second screenshot is added in the comments.
14 -
Coding is like the minds virus for me. I can't stop, but I sometimes question if it's good for me. Work is ok nowadays, but keeping a balance in hobbies is so hard. When I discover something new that's fun it can eat me up for days. But that excitement can leave just as quickly with very few projects ever finished as a result.2
-
I fucking hate the Internet
day before Yesterday, I was searching for a software on internet(which is not free) I found a site (unofficial) giving me both free full & trial version. so I thought, why not get the full version. I downloaded it, installed it. awesome.
everything was going great until I found out that all of my files in a folder were encrypted by some WankDecrypt. I was lucky the files in that folder were useless. but next day some mysterious links started to pop up into my browser. and today some fucking wank decentralized shit started eating up my ram. FML
Somebody fucking stuck his shit with cracked version of software. so beware devs.
13 -
I placed a Virus Found pop-up message at all the schools computer and run the program at start when I was at High School. It was fun :)3
-
I'm a little confused here. How are "viruses" different from "exploits" in Linux? The way I see it, they're the exact same thing. Although "exploit" makes it sound cool 😂16
-
At school...
Antivirus protects you from all the bad things on the internet. If you download an antivirus, your computer is safe. I recommend one like McAfee or FreeAntivirus. Also, there aren't virus for Mac.
(Then they ask how things like The Podesta Emails happen)5 -
anyone ever had a relative download a virus and when confronted about it they say no? even though you specifically told them not to open weird looking emails.
well, pops apparently did NOT open a ransomware email 😂 Baby, bye, bye, bye... to all the files7 -
This weekly is getting really popular with so many rants coming in.
Shows the extent to which real coders/programmers/developers are tormented by the incompetent education system.
Here is my two cents:
Students should be taught to build their logic on paper before jumping on to their keyboards.2 -
mini story/contest for ++:
today right before my first lesson some of my classmates were talking bout viruses/antiviruses AND THEY WERE JUST TRYING TO SEEM LIKE THEY ARE GENIOUSES!!!
sooo, one girl said that his friend created a virus and it took 8h(if i remmeber correctly) to find it - it litrely says nothing possitive about any1, nor virus creator, nor those that searcehed for it... all i could think of is negative stuff, tho more info needed to know who sucks the most....
som1 said that it is the best to install several antiviruses.... ye....<no comment>
quoute of one autist "the best antivirus is the one with robot icon" (i think he ment eset nod32) - ye...<no comment ether>
and acctualy same guy said that he "keeps getting viruses" and got SERIOUSLY offended once i told him "why dont u stop visiting porn sites?"
So, why didint I told them the truth? well, the thing is that i dont acctualy want to explane them how antiviruses work nor i know it well enough (i just know general idea)
oh, and u guys have no idea how cringy that whole converstion was for me.. i was bearly holding myself
FUN PART: ill ++ every single one who is going to explane anything that includes stuff that i said above7 -
fuck wordpress... Got a request to improve wordpress site speed + pagespeed score. 20-30 plugins, 15 or more additional ones off. Improved the score and noticed that my adblocker is blocking a lot of urls. Sure enough theres a hidden iframe in the bottom with 10 ad network scripts and bidding get requests. Someone is making ad revenue from this shit.. wtf. I've only had problems with shitty wordpress sites being hacked for some reason. It's always a shitty experience. Any tips on fixing hacked wordpress sites?6
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What the heck, Windows. Whoever thought of detecting any, but seriously any unpopular piece of software or game as a fucking virus. Now when I refer people to my game everybody thinks I made a virus and I am trying to get it on their computer. Thank you Windows. Go fuck yourself.1
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When you try to help someone clean their computer over the phone, and they install a new program to "clean" their computer mid-call.
-
New DPO (Data protection officer): "Everybody must have an antivirus installed. You have an antivirus"
Me:"No, at the moment. I use Linux. I could install one to detect Windows virus"6 -
Anyone wants a virus for their mac?
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/...
Too bad Linux users cannot enjoy virus infected machine...
9 -
Guess somebody has a bad day xD
Source: stupidedia.de
Transkript:
Linux is the biggest computer - virus that doesnt come from Redmond. Its especially handy if you want to create a 16Gb usb-drive out of a 160Gbdrive
3 -
After couple of hours I made a list of different anti virus programs for almost any Linux distro:
And some other ones:6 -
I'm surprised that a website so commonly used still looks like a virus site last updated in 1997. tinyurl.com5
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Virus Rant: Unwanted folder keep creating itself after deleting it.
Windows Defender detected some malware & cryptominer exist and originated from Chrome folder
Solution: Remove completely Chrome and stick with Microsoft Edge for now!
I cant believe I am removing Chrome and stick with Microsoft Edge.
Lesson learn: please be vigilant at all time.16 -
I had a random thought yesterday.
I was thinking about a computer virus that's been influenced by AI (machine learning).
If we would train a model specifically for such a purpose, how massive would its impact be on the Internet and how effectively could it change the world's direction (not the physical rotation lmao)?2 -
I am sick in the past two weeks.
"A virus " according to the doctor.
This cause me to drop performance for about 10%
Feels awful4 -
I just switched to iOS and it's being an amazing experience.
So great to finally have access to all my files, and personalize my device as much as I want.
And it has no virus so it's all good news.1 -
So all my friends keep calling me a negative person because I always correct them on how easily they can be hacked.
Friend: Hey (my name) I am going to buy a new computer and I will make you happy and not download illegal games on to it.
Me: That's a really good idea. Now shouldn't you also buy a virusscanner or at least make a full system back-up in case you get hacked.
Two days later
Friend: Yeah I got my new pc and can now finally play Kerbal Space Progran on it. It's stupid though that this dlc costs money so I downloaded it illegaly. But don't worry. I'll stop doing that from now on.
Another two days later I am spending my whole day trying to fix his computer because he downloaded a Trojan Horse that took over his computer and he had no virusscanner or back-up.
The problem is that I am 99 percent sure that such a thing is going to happen again and he'll be standing on my doorstep to fix it for him. Just let the doomsayer that is good with computers fix it and repeat the whole process all over again😒.7 -
Do you know how hard it is to find a safe, virus free YouTube downloader that actually works? Very hard. How about one that downloads a whole playlist? Impossible.12
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I was getting bored with programing cause a majority of it is boilerplate code then i heard of the Mirai virus. It infected alot of iot devices so I decided to look at it and it was written in golang. It is a beautifully written botnet even though they're parts where it could have been better. So i looked more into golang and saw that it could cross compile pretty easily and could build self contained binaries really easily. On top of all this i saw the smallest docker containers with golang programs so i looked into it more and kept finding more and more that i liked. Easy library packaging, concurancy without boilerplate, quick servers, and the libraries from other devs that did all kind of great things4
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I was browsing on this website called ebay-kleinanzeigen.de and got redirected to this wonderful page.
PS: I've no known virus on my phone btw. Made the tests.
6 -
Spent hours troubleshooting an internal app that had zero logging today. It would just terminate, no exceptions, no feedback to the debugger, NOTHING.
Turned out to be the damn corporate virus scanner blocking "malicious" behaviour. Good thing my desk is so heavy or I woulda flipped it... -
Windows 10 is a bloody virus that hijacks and controls your life. Wasting away my morning cause if updates... 2 hours and counting....7
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RONALD REAGAN VIRUS: Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.
MIKE TYSON VIRUS: Quits after two bytes.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.
TITANIC VIRUS: Your whole computer goes down.
DISNEY VIRUS: Everything in your computer goes Goofy.
PROZAC VIRUS: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.5 -
Being the only one in my friend group who is a developer, I keep getting asked ridiculous things like "can you install XYZ for me?" "can you get rid of this virus for me?" "Can you fix my microwave?" I wish I was kidding.2
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I just realized something, they put a lot of ads and viruses on porn sites because they were so horny, they didn't even think of the consequences opening the sites
*Mind Blown*
Yes Im a bit slow on this...6 -
My CS exam today had a case study question that, and i quote, talked about "Chernobyl in japan switching to manual monitoring due to the wannacry virus" xD wtf. Im fucking done xD
-
I really don't get why creators of already-suspicious looking software (and the related suspicious looking website) put terms like "NO VIRUS" or "100% free of malware" next to the download area.
I mean, why would that help anything?
(I understand those typical virustotal scan widgets though, those are fine)2 -
Remove a users virus, save them for a day. Teach a user to Google error messages, save them from a lifetime of viruses.
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This isn't something I've dealt with personally, but recently heard the story on the podcast and was pretty astounded:
"A company who makes add-ons for Flight Simulator X included malware in one of their downloadable jets, players have alleged. The malicious file is called ‘test.exe’ and it is designed to extract passwords from the Chrome web browser."
Now that's some extreme DRM. "Pirate our downloadable jet? We leak your credit card information and Social Security Number to the darknet."
Original story: https://rockpapershotgun.com/2018/...3 -
I was helping a friend with her computer when an alert from the antivirus tells me there is a virus in the computer. I tried to delete it and the computer shows this alert (the translation would be something like: The action couldn't be performed as the file is a virus).
FUCKING WINDOWS I KNOW ITS A VIRUS SO LET ME DELETE IT. 😩😩
1 -
I got loads but it all started when I was a wee script kiddy.
I built a virus when I started a simple program to send to people for a laugh. It would send you a message "you are fucked" with a countdown of 30 seconds and it restarts the pc 😳 😎 -
At some point I stopped trusting anti-virus softwares for some reason. Nevertheless, I want to ask if anyone is using one on his/her Mac? Please recommend, because I got a warning today from my router's detection activity that I might have gotten worm virus ....😖2
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Was checking what my coworker was up to. He was given a computer to fix by another coworker and the PC belonged to his child.
”Oh I just uninstalled Steam. It’s a bad software with loads of viruses that slow down your computer!”3 -
The most annoying thing about being an IT professional...
Microsoft never calls me to tell me there is a problem with my computer. WTF!
I use Linux, but still, I totally miss all the fun I would have with that wanker...1 -
Wow, just fucking wow, you did it again Microsoft. You know the default mail app that comes with 8.1? It just randomly downloaded a pdf of a spam mail that it DELETED BY ITSELF before. Wow... "Hey, that looks fishy. Probably a trojan. LETS DOWNLOAD IT". I haven't even opened it. I was on my Desktop when it happened. Immediately deleted that crap.
That's actually the first time in the 3 years i have my pc that my antivirus was needed and it's not even my fault. -
Why is it that the people who are dumb enough to buy anti virus software from a box at Staples are exactly the people dumb enough to need it?3
-
A long time ago you sent me an email with the subject 'I love you', I then got so excited that I forwarded the letter to all my contacts, and they forwarded it too.. I can't describe the words for the feelings I had back then for you. I felt into love with you, really. But there were always troubling moments for me.
For example when 'Code Red' showed up and found your backdoor. Man I was pissed at that time. I didn't know what to do next. But things settled, and we found each other again.
And then that other time when this girl named 'Melissa' was sending me some passwords to pr0n sites, I couldn't resist. She was really awesome, but you know, deep in my heart that was not what I wanted. I somehow managed to go back to you and say sorry. We even moved together in our first flat, and later in our own house. That was a really good time, I love to think back at those moments.
Then my friend 'Sasser' came over to us one night, do you remember how he claimed that big shelf in our living room, and overflooded it with his own stuff, so that we haven't a clue we are reading yet offshelve? Wow that was a disturbing experience.
But a really hard time has come when our dog 'Zeus' got kicked by this ugly trojan horse. I really don't want go into details how the mess looked like after we discovered him on our floor. Still, I am very sorry for him that he didn't survived it :(
Some months later this guy named 'Conficker' showed up one day. I shitted my pants when I discovered that he guessed my password on my computer and got access to all my private stuff on it. He even tried to find some network shares of us with our photos on it. God, I was happy that he didn't got access to the pics we stored there. Never thought that our homemade photos are not secure there.
We lived our lives together, we were happy until that day when you started the war. 'Stuxnet..'! you cried directly in my face, 'you are gonna blow up our centrifuges of our life', and yeah she was right. I was in a real bad mood that days back then. I even not tried to hide my anger. But really, I don't know why all this could happen. All I know is, that it started with that cool USB stick I found on the stairs of our house. After that I don't remember anything, as it is just erased from my memory.
The years were passing. And I say the truth here, we were not able to manage the mess of our relationship. But I still loved you when you opened me that you will leave. My 'Heartbleed' started immediately, you stabbed it where it causes the most pain, where I thought that my keys to your heart are secured. But no, you stabbed even harder.
Because not long after that you even encrypted our private photos on our NAS, and now I am really finished, no memory which can be refreshed with a look at our pictures, and you even want my money. I really 'WannaCry' now... -
Not the first I used a computer, but I remember playing this game called Dave. Oh god, brings back memories. My parents used to tell me it's virus. 😂2
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I don't use an antivirus and I probably never will.
I'll share two experiences from two different people to provide you people some base.
Firstly, this friend of mine wants to learn Android. He doesn't even have chrome installed. So I'm like let's get you a decent browser. I open the website to Firefox and I'm ready to install it.
He stops me.
He says don't install anything this isn't my laptop it's my father's and it'll get a virus.
*Facepalm*
I assure you it won't get a virus. You already have a fucking premium anti whatever the fuck suite installed so why are you worried?
Viruses are intelligent they can get anywhere. The argument was proving a waste of time besides I realized I had the files on my computer and just needed to transfer them via a thumb drive or something.
I bring over my thumb drive. Mr.viral fuck here is so shocked I thought his balls fell off. No! He doesn't want a thumb drive either, apparently they carry and generate viruses.
At this point I gave up to retain my health in the long run.
You know what I ain't going to share the other experience cause it's even more messed up.
Seriously what's with the paranoia ? I never have used an antivirus ever on my Windows installation and have never gotten infected by one either. How the fuck do people get infected by them ? I'm seriously missing something here.20 -
FFS how is a guy supposed to do any work with a PC as slow as this?? how many anti-virus can you install on a single machine??!!3
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The moment when your a AV program hates you!
I send them angry emails a few days ago and now I saw this. Maybe the emails are the reason why? 😂
1 -
Working with machine learning gets very tiring sometimes.
Waiting for the results, tuning the parameters...
Arghhh....why does it keep getting stuck...1 -
Recruiter: Hey! Ya want new job?!?!
Me: Maybe what bout???
Recruiter: Just mix rabies virus with influenza virus...
Me: Ah so ... Zombie apocalypse??
Recruiter: Yeah something like that!!!
Me: Mkay where does one sign?1 -
Viruses are little monsters that eat your computer away (or what's left from it) after it's dead. They start with the heart (BIOS) and then go to the CMOS chip.2
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"This Microsoft technical support, you have many virus on computer."
If only you could npm install pluralize on a human being, scammers would probably be too lazy to do it anyway.2 -
Is there any rant/post that is atleast a week old but still got 0 ++ ?
That is neither any upvote nor any downvote.
P.S. Don't take it up as a challenge for this one.2 -
The last 5 days I have been searching for an issue! Non stop communicating with all involved partys!
Now I found the solution. I tell them all happy about my findings. And what do I get to hear?
"Yeah, I was thinking the whole time that that was the issue."
Are you fucking kidding me? Why the hell didn't you tell me??? At least a hint would have been appreciated...1 -
In the morning of first day of hackathon I got sick (flu or some virus). My friends are coding now. I am in the bed at home with fewer. :( FML4
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When clients come with virus-infested Windows machines asking to take data from theirs and wondering where it all went!2
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I had learnt my lesson about the reality of group projects in the very first semester of graduation.
And from then on till the final project in my postgraduation, I refused to have a team and worked on every project alone (except for a few times when I couldn't convince the professor and even then made sure to not depend on anyone else).1 -
Nothing prepares you for Windows deciding your program as a virus for all your thousands of users and having no idea why.
It wasn’t virus related at all. It needed a new signing with an updated certificate. Did the error say anything like that? Hell no . -
I had a compile error that I was missing a com reference. But on the pc of a colleague it compiled fine.
It was something from vlc, so I reinstalled vlc.
2 seconds after that my virus scan started shouting, alert, activeX element detected, removing.....
Which water buffalocock sucking piece of diarrhea stained retard (sorry for the retards I love you all a huggy bunch and you deserve better)
Uses an activeX element which even a virus scan can identify as completely unsafe -
Background: Got a macbook, A external HDD(2TB) of which +- 1TB was used.
Yesterday i moved all my personal projects from my work laptop to my external, to move to my macbook.
One of my clients(Freelancing) calls asking me to install new hardware, install software and fix OS(Windows 8.1).
I leave work and go directly to said client and he hands over his Lenovo S20 Touch(No CD/DVD Drive).
I install windows 10 and other software from my flash(Already on there)
Good, Everything is ready to go. I go home and finally get to sit down with my baby(MacBook)
Me: *Plugs in external*
...
nothing.
Opens Finder, can't find flashdrive
Check MacKeeper
MacKeeper: VirusDetected
Me: *Pissed*
Client calls.
Client: Hey is everything ok with the laptop, no viruses no nothing. Because everytime i insert a flashdrive it gets a virus and i have to buy a new one.
Me: I installed windows 10 on it, it should be fine with defender now.
Heart: *shattered* YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME THAT BEFORE FUCKER!!
i never knew people like this still exist1 -
planning to program a fun virus and plant it in my room mates computer, what shall it do? you decide8
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Back in the days of DOS/Win3.x I was jerking around in school sending messages to my friends in other classes by changing autoexec.bat on the workstations I used.
Somehow someone mistook my messages as a virus, and the IT department closed down the workstations for weeks.2 -
Today's task. Boot up Dreamweaver; download the entire website via ftp ONLY through Dreamweaver because idfk why it won't work with Filezilla... Get 50 virus alerts as I'm downloading the site from php files... Delete them all. I am God for a day in the work place.2
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Install Adobe suit and your internet will be fucked off. The solution is to find all startup items of com.adobe.* and remove them. I don't understand why they put their files across all system. Adobe: please be normal and act normal. It's 21 century.2
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I didn't know I wanted the breadcrumbs so badly in the new VSCode 1.26.
It's a relief from continually hopping to the explorer and code-outline activity bar. -
I was watching over 9h of Windows and Azure Tutorials over the last few days, and now I don't feel very well. Guess I caught a Virus.3
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After many days, My computer started working fast.
Found Reason: My Anti Virus had been expired ;)1 -
Someone managed to install a virus on my class' computer. It's called amazon assistant or something like that and it keeps in opening a blank window called aa.hta as soon as you close it it opens again. It didn't change any file so idk, the only assumption i can make is that it mines cryptocurrency. But whatever is fun watching my teachers trying to close it.3
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Someone asked me if i know a way to hack Facebook profile. Instead I want to give them a malware or virus. Anyone can help me get a good virus which disguise as a FB hacking app? Thanks6
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You might want to disable your virus scanner before trying to install this joke. It's 100% totally legit. Virus free. Just ignore the warnings if you see them. It's the real deal.
-
If AI steals my job, I will write a Virus which also use AI to corrupt AI and will watch fun for decades
-
Outlook warms me when opening excel attachments that it might contain viruses (PROTECTED VIEW).Ooooh fancy....
Only problem is that it's in Sent Items and if it had a virus I'm already f...ed2 -
When a client keeps asking about how a new feature works...
Have you even bothered to read the fucking concept? IT'S ALL THERE!!! -
!rant
I did just talk with a client because they tried to analyse some data we send and they fucked up. the client told me they can't fix it because they cnat access the data because they have a divious virus. xD you're the god damn IT department of a pretty big company. wtf? really how?1 -
Media always misinterprets anything related to computer and information technology. Recently found an Indian News channel which aired news about recent cyber attack and stated virus named "Ransomware" (not WannaCry) has affected computers all over the world. They aired wrong information without hesitation despite India being world's rapidly growing IT hub.6
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Just because you happen to work with computers a lot everyone that's friends with your mother expects you to fix their malware machine for free and then get indignant when you tell them they where they probably got the virus and how to avoid it.
-
What's the difference between data science, machine learning, and artificial intelligence?
http://varianceexplained.org/r/... -
Today my coisinhas asked me to remove a ad virus from her computer and the bad thing este is that is at programming at fu***** university and it is even worst when she sad that none of her friends could fix the fu***** problem!!! I just did it in 5 min by searchin in the web!!!!4
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Spent two days setting up software remotely through windows rdp through teamviewer several hundred miles away. Today found a malware replacing some exe causing web app to fail. Local partner seems to be blaming us.
-
Learning to use logging in Python for an existing application.
🙇Feeling enlightened looking at the first log file output.3 -
The next big computer virus to infect the A.I. and push it off it's throne bringing back all dev jobs.
-
"Google Search Fixer" is a must on Firefox Android iff you use Google search.
Now I can finally start using Firefox again..
PS: I was using Edge till now
https://devrant.com/rants/1248199/...4 -
Virus scan is crippling my computer, can't deploy till it's done! Might as well be using ticker tape to deploy these reports to the server.
-
What are your opinions on antivirus programs?
I've just recently looked a bit deeper into it and it's scary how useless they've become... Especially signature based ones, as 82% of all malware only gets used once before they get changed again and 70% of them are only active for >1h.
Also, if you're able to google and have a slow sunday, you can easily write your own virus that won't be recognized by AV. It won't be a devilish masterpiece, but it'll work.
Do you think AV (especially paid ones) have a future?2 -
Microsoft Python Language Server SUCKS in both Visual Studio and VSCode. 😵😩😠
Doesn't provide suggestions for relative imports like "from ..".
Sticking to jedi... -
Finally implemented my first ANN in my own environment (my own Virus Game). That feeling when have tested everything and it works, so you can just relax and put your feet up and. <3
-
I just had a dream where I was running Linux and after installing Eclipse, some ransomware virus took over my SO.
Guess I really was tired as fuck2 -
Management that understands and respects the true virus like nature of technical debt. Considers the implications of bolting on more features. Gives me a place at the table in decision making regarding these matters.
Don't settle for any less. -
Hey gang,
I'm kind of interested in learning some hacking/virus basics. I wanted to try out some scripts but I'm kind da nervous. Can I run simple viruses on a VM without worrying about my laptop getting infected too? I would think so, but I wanna be sure.
Also, if you have any resources you can point me to, that would be great. Thanks!3
Only one sticker.
I go door-to-door every Sunday, "Excuse me dear sir/madam, do you have a moment to talk ab... [read more]