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When one of those "Your windows has been infected, click here to remove virus now" ads slips through the adblocker while I'm on my Linux
3 -
assignment: use winAPI to create a "virus" that put itself in autorun and does nothing.
me, a curious student: does the assignment and adds a heap corruption code just as a joke.
after sending the assignment to the teacher I realized that I have sent the real virus.
result: teacher comes next lesson without a computer and stares at me silently and viciously.
we'll see what happens next
any idea on what's going on in his head?29 -
Customer: IT is completely useless! I’m getting PORN ADS on my work computer!? This is ridiculous!!!
Friend: Oh that’s not good, perhaps your computer has a virus of some sort let me take a look!
Friend takes a look and sees that the porn ads were all provided by google ad service, they weren’t related to a virus.
Friend: so, you don’t have a virus, but so that you know google gathers metrics on the sites you visit so that it can target ads at you better. Looks like that’s what’s happening here.
Customer: .............13 -
If you accidentally send out a porn link, your best line of defense is to send 10 more, then blame it in a virus.
In fact just make a virus at this point.15 -
!rant
Girlfriend doing her first IT internship:
"I think I got the roto virus"
Me: "Disconnect LAN cable and turn off PC, so that you do not infect the entire company's network".
GF: "Why would I do that, it's my body that feels bad".4 -
Boss : How do you access code at home ?
Me : Well, Git is fairly accessible from anywhere with the right credentials at hand
Boss : What of you have virus in your system ? Can't the virus infect our NodeJS code ?
Since then, I haven't been able to get out of the mental comatose induced.4 -
A friend called me up today . Here's how the conversation went
Jack :- Hey dude , my computer is lagging way too much . Do you think there's something wrong ? Like Virus ?
Me :- I don't know . What do you think might have caused that ?
Jack:- Oh , I kept my flash drive open without a cover , it might have caught some virus from the air.
Me :-
7 -
Here's an idea.
Make a virus called nudes
Everyone that says "Send Nudes"
I will send them "nudes"5 -
I found a python virus online a while ago that just corrupts your .py files, so I wanted to do something similar and after writing it I ran it on my pc, it corrupted all of my .py files.27
-
*Corona Virus Lock-down*
-University Prof: "Now You have lots of time to do your projects. from now, you will have 1 project each week"
-Boss: "You are at home all day! can you increase your working hours?"
-Me: "Fuck Corona"5 -
Me: *uses google chrome*
Parents: Stop, log out of everything, you're hogging up the internet, omg
Me: *unplugs computer*
Parents: *their computer still not working* You downloaded a virus to our wifi you're grounded for a month3 -
Yeah. Exactly. Its the year 2718. Humanity was destroyed by a deadly virus. The only thing that's left is A GIGBAYTE MAINBOARD.
6 -
Advice from my neighbour:
" Don't use laptop so much, you know eyes are really soft, virus can easily enter to your brain through your eyes. If you take my advice it's good for you."
-_-7 -
In my new neighborhood I found this WiFi network which has been protected for so long by just its name "Virus".
Am sure the owner never thought of geeks who instead of running away from" virus" just get closer.
Am ranting using "virus" network7 -
Went with a cousin to hospital for vaccination .I took a pen and wrote: "Anti-Virus database updated 09.01.2017" . Now I am not allowed to stay with my cousin :(
-
Me: I want the laptop without pre installed Windows.
Seller: Genuine windows will take care of viruses. It's virus proof.
Me:😂 Windows? Ok but I don't want that, give me without it. 😂😂😂13 -
My first experience with Swift ended in me infecting myself with a virus (kinda). I wanted to create a macOS app that would listen for a global key event, catch it and then type a word.
During development I set it up to listen for ANY key event and to type "BALLS". So what happened? I compiled the code, everything looked good, I started the app and pressed a key which emitted a key event. The event was caught by my app and it typed "BALLS", just as expected. However, the typing of the word caused a NEW key event to be emitted, which the app also caught. The infinite loop was a fact. FUCK!
I tried closing down XCode but all I could see was "BALLS BALLS BALLS" everywhere. I tried everything I knew but it just kept typing "BALLS". I had to hold down my power button to make it stop.
I finally finished the app (which I named "The Balls App", I kept the word "BALLS"). I solved this issue by only listening for KeyUp and when emitting the "BALLS" word I just used KeyDown.7 -
I sent the iPhone crasher in my classgroup yesterday. Today morning a few girls out of my class said that I triggered a virus with a textmessage. Bruh6
-
I was trying to fix my computer illiterate sisters computer, then I found out that there were two anti-virus programs that tried to delete each other.
When trying to delete the software I found out that the system admin does not have permission to use administrator rights at all. So in frustration I copied any valuable files, and reinstalled the entire OS.
Sometimes I wonder how people end up in these situations. She had 4 different anti-virus programs and still ended up getting multiple viruses! xD
7 -
Coworker: This guy's computer is completely messed up...
Me: What? Why?
Coworker: So he installed some virus...
Me: Yeah? And...?
Coworker: And apparently it changed all certificates for antivirus programs into Untrusted Certificates - so he can't install anything that could remove the virus!
Me: That's horrifying..7 -
Photo I took last week.. I thought there is some virus heating up my laptop.. but then I figured out .. it was chrome browser and extremely hot weather 46.7℃
8 -
friend: "oh my god i have a virus!"
me: "let me see..."
me: *ticks the "don't allow this page to create any more alerts" checkbox in chrome, then closes the page*
friend: "how did you do that?"
me: "magic!"3 -
Easy 50$... (l)user brings in a tablet and says she’s got a virus.... okay.
(L)user - “I have a virus, I can’t click on anything and there’s a green box around everything.”
Me - *turns off TalkBack* here you go, all fixed.12 -
Happened half a year ago (parents both use Linux although they're very a-techie).
*Dads laptop comes back from store after a repair*
Dad: (on the phone) hello son, could you help me out? they put some weird stuff on my laptop at the repair centre...
Me: Weird stuff? like what?
Dad: It's a virus I think
Me: A virus??
Dad: Definitely a virus!
Me: And what is this virus called?
Dad: Windows 10!
Me: Oh yes coming over asap to get that removed!
I put elementary OS on it again when i went to visit my parents.
17 -
How to reproduce:
human - F**k
process - Fork
Is that skeumorphism of words/sound by Unix developers ?5 -
Mom: You gave our keyboard a virus with your programming! You're not allowed to use the computer any more!
(the keyboard was 10 years old)2 -
Google Duplex: "Hi! Uhm.. I'd like to make a dinner reservation for 3."
Restaurant: "Sure! What time would you like?"
Google Duplex: "It's, uhh.. for tomorrow May the 11th at NULL POINTER EXCEPTION."
Restaurant: "Internal Exception: Invalid parameter not satisfying: time"
Btw, hi devRant, this is my first post!!4 -
Like the new feature on Google Play Store where the changelog can be directly seen in a dropdown on the updates page.
3 -
Sometimes I feel like a freak. So many rants are about things that just never seen to happen to me.
I've been using Windows 10 since release, never had an update while I was working.
I've never gotten a virus from an ad, abs don't use AdBlock.
I've never had a crash that lost my work, I save neurotically or the program automatically saved.
I've never had trouble with typing in any language, static or dynamic.
I've never had issues with semicolons, IDEs or compilers tell me the issue explicitly.
I guess I'm just weird or something :/15 -
First step of creating antivirus,
void main() {
printf("✅Scan Complete.
0 threat found.
Upgrade to premium");
}2 -
Yesterday, my girlfriend caught a virus. There were 5+ running programs, in program files, program files x86, system32, basically everywhere. The virus modified chrome, firefox, edge (and even installed a false uc browser assuming we had one), there are many entries at startup programs, also running daemons, once you kill one of them, the others detect it and replicate their killed fellows. Tried to run a linux live usb disk for a cleanup, but the computer hibernates instead of shutdown, making modifications on disk risky.
I spent hours trying to suppress the processes, do a manual cleanup and antivirus search. It looked all cleaned up, then I reinstalled chrome, and now it switches its homepage everytime I open it, it also injects batch arguments to desktop link forum chrome (deleting it manually does not help, it comes back). I'm a linux guy, and in a few hours, I hated windows more than ever.
If anybody knows the authors, I *really* want to meet them. I promise I'm not going to punch them, but kneel down, bow my head in respect, and say "teach me master."14 -
Someone should write a really infectious virus for Linux to make all the fanboys shut the fuck up about security.11
-
~ Freelancer.com Week #1 ~
Project: I need someone to debug an application's code and review it. Budget 30 bucks.
Bid: I am an experienced developer I can probably review it in an hour.
client: Hi, need you to check if app is contains virus [link to scam website]
me: sure, download supposed "social Bitcoin miner" and run some AV tests...8+ positive flags for a Trojan virus.
>Me: It's a Trojan virus mate it's not legitimate😟
>Client: Can you remove the Trojan virus so that the legit not stays?
Me: Umm there is no bot mate it's just a virus 😕 I wouldn't open it outside a sandbox
Client: But here it says Bitcoin faucet bot [links shitty how-to youtube video]
Me: 😒 it's not real dude you are about to get scammed, I can test it in a VM if you. . .
Client: I opened it already, it's working
Me: 😮 r u sure?
Client: yes, can you install VM for further testing?
Me: sure, in your computer?
Client: yes
Me: just download the windows image and text me when it's done
Client: My disc is full! Only 3 gb left
Me: 😑 call me when you clean it
Client: [ offline ]5 -
“ThAnK YeW 4 KallIng MicraroSoFt TekNicAll SuppUrt, mY nAmE iS JaKe. YoUR KomputeR HaS VirUs ThaT NeEds ReMoVal.”
Go float yourself you sack of shit, your mother should have swallowed.7 -
Story time!
About seven years ago, I was in high school and had friends who kinda rocked with computers. I mean, they knew how to build one, how to make cross tests to find what was wrong with one, which softwares to install to detect viruses, etc. Once, I was with one of these friends, A, when another friend, G, came to us to explain his problem: his computer didn't turn on anymore. He said that he opened the computer, took off the RAM, that let the computer start once, but when he switched off again he wouldn't start anymore.
I was just a silent witness, and A started to ask G how it did happen. "Oh, I was downloading an Allopass generator, when my computer froze."
I smiled.
"But where on hell did you download that? So we can try to find exactly what virus you downloaded! " "Actually", said G, "I was on a streaming site at first, then saw an, then another, and after a dozen sites I found this soft..."
"But", A couldn't believe it, "you don't have antivirus or anything that would have told you not to download it?"
"Oh, it tried, but I reaaaaaally wanted this software. So I shut down it and managed to download it."
I burst in laugh. At the same time I was feeling bad for this poor computer. What amazed me it that not once during the process, G thought it was a bad idea to download an Allopass generator found in an ad that even his antivirus told him it was dangerous.
Nice ending, A took the computer, and managed to make it work again. He even managed to keep important stuff that wasn't destroyed by the virus. G got a little lesson by A, then got yelled at by his parents, because the computer was in fact theirs.
Thanks for reading, and sorry if there's any mistake (grammar, punctuation, etc.), I am on my phone with autocorrect set on french. Have a nice day!5 -
I am having fun building a captured wifi portal. It shows up as "Virus Distribution Point" as an open AP. If you connect to the AP it brings up a page that looks like the picture.
It does nothing except show the page. The page will eventually do some limited javascript animation to make it look like it is doing something.
Right now it is an embedded webpage. Strings in a source file. Eventually I would like to turn this into a product of sorts that would make it easy for someone to use for advertising/pranks. So I expect I will need to create some sort of simple toolset for updating the pages and changing the SSID and the passcode (if any).
8 -
Half convinced universities are paid off by virus developers to teach their students the most shit and insecure practices available.16
-
Everyone that says you can't get viruses in Linux because only .exe compiled programs can contain malicious code or some bullshit like this is a fucking retarded
Sorry I had to say it12 -
*senior designer*
Last year I had a meeting with the newly hired Senior Graphics Designer.
She was presenting the new design of the company's website with all the features she wants.
After a few minutes, I asked her, did you design it as a responsive website?
"What is that?" She said. I said that the website should display or have atleast a design for mobile view and desktop view.
And she replied, "is that a requirement?"
Talks to myself: how the hell we hire designers like this?
PS, she earns 4x my salary5 -
Life Before the Computer
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3-inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut - you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!3 -
In C++ we don't say "Missing asterisk" we say "error C2664: 'void std::vector<block,std::alocator<_Ty> >::push_back(const block &)': cannot convert argument 1 from 'std::_Vector_iterator<std::_Vector_val<std::_Simple_types<block> > >' to 'block &&'" and i think that's beautiful
(not mine, source: https://goo.gl/Akxjih)4 -
Since december Windows keeps telling me that my IT administrator wants to scan my items when I build something in Visual Studio.
We have no IT administrator.
The illuminati are controlling my anti virus software
3 -
I was making a prank app which turned to my first virus.
One day my mother told me that the programers in her work were offering to her to show them the virus and if their program dont catch it they will give me a reward. It was not catched by the program and i got the reward it was not so big but the feel was awesome7 -
I've always liked the idea of a virus that attacks other viruses. An antivirus virus, if you will. It would infect a computer and clean out all the malware and perform a bunch of random system improvements, then delete itself without a trace. To the end user, one day their computer would suddenly start running a little better for no apparent reason.17
-
Who's at fault for the recent Wanna Cry virus: The companies affected or Microsoft/NSA?
Personally, I think it's the companies affected. This is what happens when you try and be cheap when it comes to cyber security.8 -
News: New virus installs cryptocurrency miner on IoT devices.
Me: I hope it was worth the whole 37 cents they made.10 -
Years of mandatory corporate IT security training has taught me not to open this car, its probably a virus.
3 -
Oh my God...
A colleague of mine got an email. The email was badly translated into our language (probably Google translate was used) it said 'please open invoice attached'.
The anti-virus software successfully marked it as a virus, and did not allow my colleague to open attached 'invoice.exe' file.
Now by this point you would think that the person would just delete the email, but no. The colleague looked at me, and with the bitchiest voice said 'I got an invoice and can't open it after your anti-virus installation. Fix it!'
Needless to say, I had to explain, what a virus is and teach all the colleagues not to get hooked on scam mail... Took about 4 hours to explain this seemingly simple concept.
Fuck knows, how they did not nuke their IT infrastructure before I came here :/11 -
Not dev related but still a rant:
My company decided that all the network traffic should go throu a virus scanner. But they don't know what the fuck they are doing, so now EVERY valid SSL cert gets rejected by our browsers because the virus-scanner breaks the SSL encryption.
Anyone open for a pishing attack?8 -
Not asking students to learn the code. Seriously stop doing that.
Instead motivate them to understand the logic and then build it when required.3 -
Great opportunities now as per Managers:
* Develop a chat system like Zoom
* Develop anti-virus for Coronavirus
* Develop time travel machine to stop Coronavirus at the point it started3 -
this === 'rant'
> True
A million dollars for the head that creates a lethal virus that forcefully uninstalls IE and installs Firefox/Chrome and unleashes it upon planet Earth. Sorry if this sounds too harsh but guess what? FUCK IE.13 -
My grandfather has two anti virus programs installed, but only wants one.
Guess who has to fix it...5 -
My non dev friend called me in middle of night for getting shortcut virus removed! I would have blasted 🔫 him but I felt pity on the guy as I know that he is poor with tech stuff
Any he had only windows, so I Google up solution and replied back to him.
He asked where to put it. I told him in cmd. He is like what so I told him to press win+r then in that type d and "black" 🏴 window will appear. Type in that.
guess what he typed exactly as mentioned in the reply and didn't replace the drive name properly .😑
I told him to put proper drive and saw that he missed spaces so l told him that he missed space 😤 and he put only one space and it still had problem so I had to explain it in weirdest was possible( shown in fig 1.1 had been writing report and figure gave yo be mentioned with number 😅)
Finally. It was all done! Well some pf my cs ( !counter strike but computer science friend) are worse then this can't use teminal or even connect to WiFi (wpa-enterprise @ college with mschap v2 and peap auth which is crackable using twin tower and brute force) properly, do I guess it not BA's that this guy cry to get rid of shortcut virus (virus > wifi setup) 😬
Finally I feel relived after ranting 😪
5 -
It was Adblock Plus that was making my Firefox Android terribly slow.
Just realized it after cursing 🔥Firefox for months.3 -
*Me testing my api with vue.js*
Me: can you please update salesforce content and add new image.
Coworker: Done,image updated:
Me: did you click the sync button? Image seems to be not loading.
Co-worker: why don't you clear your browsing history and clear your cache.
Me: (talking to myself: you are asking me to clear my cache? ME? ME? ME?) Smiles back to coworker.
Co-worker: Did it work?
Me: Nope! Seems to it that you have not sync the content on salesforce. Please hit the sync button.
Co-worker: I did!
Me: I ask co-worker B he said content is not sync.1 -
Yes LinkedIn, the middle of a pandemic is the perfect time to make a career move.
Turn off your marketing campaigns assholes!
5 -
day 1: try not to use ad blocker, and install few programs from several websites.
day 2: format my pc9 -
Asus people!
Time to install some virus scanner 😲
The Asus bloatware software updater was hijacked to install malware.
12 -
A friend and I in secondary school accidentally put a 5p in the disk tray, and it then started going mental.
The IT technician came and instantly said it was a virus. They ended up throwing the computer away...3 -
I work as a front end developer at a company. This site is using WordPress and I need a paid plugin, but I wanted to test the full version first without paying, so I googled it. Downloaded it and installed it right away.
NOTE I was working on the test server, where all other projects are placed in a subdirectory of public_html (public_html/websites/<other websites>), but instead on placing the website folder where are the others, I placed it in the parent directory (public_html), (where are some others folders and files). Everything goes fine, but a few days later, I wanted to modify something in functions.php of that theme and I noticed a strange code, base64 format, so I decrypted it and turns out it's a backdoor that puts code in other files of the theme, so it can add an Admin in the DB anytime, so it can remotely connect to the website. Because, as I said, the website was in the public_html directory, and the virus search for the other folders and files in the same directory and his children, it affected the rest of the websites (50+).
I reported that to my boss, but says it's fine and to give more attention next time and to install the website in the same directory as the others. Couldn't fix automatically and I had to remove manually in every website every file created and the lines that the virus added.5 -
Finally, proof that both Avast and Atlassian are shit...
It’s taken how many decades to figure out that Atlassian is nothing more than a well disguised virus.
23 -
I'm a little confused here. How are "viruses" different from "exploits" in Linux? The way I see it, they're the exact same thing. Although "exploit" makes it sound cool 😂14
-
I'm working from here @ShereHills mountain top. Got my mac and testing device on point, I don't think the virus can come this high.
3 -
anyone ever had a relative download a virus and when confronted about it they say no? even though you specifically told them not to open weird looking emails.
well, pops apparently did NOT open a ransomware email 😂 Baby, bye, bye, bye... to all the files6 -
Get ready for a awesome conspiracy theory/ WhatsApp forward :D i like how people are coming with new stuff every minute of their boredom . Makes you ponder:
====================================
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
How to dominate the world quickly?
THE GREAT CHINESE STAGE
1. Create a virus and the antidote.
2. Spread the virus.
3. A demonstration of efficiency, building hospitals in a few days. After all, you were already prepared, with the projects, ordering the equipment, hiring the labor, the water and sewage network, the prefabricated building materials and stocked in an impressive volume.
4. Cause chaos in the world, starting with Europe.
5. Quickly plaster the economy of dozens of countries.
6. Stop production lines in factories in other countries.
7. Cause stock markets to fall and buy companies at a bargain price.
8. Quickly control the epidemic in your country. After all, you were already prepared.
9. Lower the price of commodities, including the price of oil you buy on a large scale.
10. Get back to producing quickly while the world is at a standstill. Buy what you negotiated cheaply in the crisis and sell more expensive what is lacking in countries that have paralyzed their industries.
After all, you read more Confucius than Karl Marx.
PS: Before laughing, read the book by Chinese colonels Qiao Liang and Wang Xiangsui, from 1999, “Unrestricted Warfare: China’s master plan to destroy America”, on Amazon, then we talk. It's all there.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Worth pondering..
Just Think about this...
How come Russia & North Korea are totally free of Covid- 19? Because they are staunch ally of China. Not a single case reported from this 2 countries. On the other hand South Korea / United Kingdom / Italy / Spain and Asia are severely hit. How come Wuhan is suddenly free from the deadly virus?
China will say that their drastic initial measures they took was very stern and Wuhan was locked down to contain the spread to other areas. I am sure they are using the Anti dode of the virus.
Why Beijing was not hit? Why only Wuhan? Kind of interesting to ponder upon.. right? Well ..Wuhan is open for business now. America and all the above mentioned countries are devastated financially. Soon American economy will collapse as planned by China. China knows it CANNOT defeat America militarily as USA is at present
THE MOST POWERFUL country in the world. So use the virus...to cripple the economy and paralyse the nation and its Defense capabilities. I'm sure Nancy Pelosi got a part in this. . to topple Trump. Lately President Trump was always telling of how GREAT American economy was improving in all fronts. The only way to destroy his vision of making AMERICA GREAT AGAIN is to create an economic havoc. Nancy Pelosi was unable to bring down Trump thru impeachment. ....so work along with China to destroy Trump by releasing a virus. Wuhan,s epidemic was a showcase. At the peak of the virus epidemic. ..
China's President Xi Jinping...just wore a simple RM1 facemask to visit those effected areas. As President he should be covered from head to toe.....but it was not the case. He was already injected to resist any harm from the virus....that means a cure was already in place before the virus was released.
Some may ask....Bill Gates already predicted the outbreak in 2015...so the chinese agenda cannot be true. The answer is. ..YES...Bill Gates did predict. .but that prediction is based on a genuine virus outbreak. Now China is also telling that the virus was predicted well in advance. ....so that its agenda would play along well to match that prediction. China,s vision is to control the World economy by buying up stocks now from countries facing the brink of severe ECONOMIC COLLAPSE. Later China will announce that their Medical Researchers have found a cure to destroy the virus. Now China have other countries stocks in their arsenal and these countries will soon be slave to their master...CHINA.
Just Think about it ...
The Doctor Who declared this virus was also Silenced by the Chinese Authorities...15 -
Well I'm officially terrified. My biz/coding partner in a project had to move back to China about a year ago. We have been working on a project for about 2 years. About two weeks we had to use different VPNs about every 30 minutes so we could communicate because Chinese government keeps cutting it off. He said the virus is much worse than reported and he was to be imprisonment in his house. I have not heard back from him in over a week. ☹️6
-
I kinda started programming back in the day, by breaking 2 school servers using a simple batch "virus"... it effectively opened tons of porn videos, threw the mouse cursor to the top right corner of the screen and shut down the PC after 15 seconds.
I masked the file and made sure it looked like internet explorer (since my school, back in the day, didn't use chrome and didn't allow the installation of chrome)
It was meant to troll my friend but all computers shared files with each other which meant even the private PC's of my teachers got my "virus"
Eventually it landed in the startup folder and messed everything up. I got snitched out, and I had to fix it
(I literally just wrote another batch file to delete my so called virus... because of the 15 seconds time limit I had)1 -
What the heck, Windows. Whoever thought of detecting any, but seriously any unpopular piece of software or game as a fucking virus. Now when I refer people to my game everybody thinks I made a virus and I am trying to get it on their computer. Thank you Windows. Go fuck yourself.1
-
I placed a Virus Found pop-up message at all the schools computer and run the program at start when I was at High School. It was fun :)3
-
This weekly is getting really popular with so many rants coming in.
Shows the extent to which real coders/programmers/developers are tormented by the incompetent education system.
Here is my two cents:
Students should be taught to build their logic on paper before jumping on to their keyboards.2 -
Weekly Group Rant suggestion: What anti-pattern exists that still keeps being propagated or infecting other areas of your code base (like a virus)?
Code samples/screen-shots required.13 -
person: do you know any sites that can help with blah blah blah
me: yea one sec
me: here ya go https://blahblah.blah
person: is this a virus ?
me: no it's a site that will help you with blah
person: i'm not gonna click on that because i don't wanna get a virus.
me: but it's not a virus you can't get a virus just by clicking a link you would actually have to download something and execute it.
person: oh okay but i still don't trust it
me: uhhh okay
person : so are you gonna help me or what ?
me : ..................*scream internally*
person: okay fine your not gonna help me8 -
As many of you are, I am too a 24/7 IT support for the whole family.
One time I was going back to uni for the week on a bus when my mom calls that her facebook is acting wierd. You guessed it, it was a virus. Then after 10 minutes of struggling I asked my sister to take the phone because she would understand the technial terms more easily and I didn't have mobile net or wifi at the time to use teamviewer. After 10 more minutes the virus was gone and I explained what happened and what not to do next time.
Later that day her friends got the same virus and my mother proudly told them that she already gotten rid of it and helped them remove it too.2 -
Guess somebody has a bad day xD
Source: stupidedia.de
Transkript:
Linux is the biggest computer - virus that doesnt come from Redmond. Its especially handy if you want to create a 16Gb usb-drive out of a 160Gbdrive
3 -
New DPO (Data protection officer): "Everybody must have an antivirus installed. You have an antivirus"
Me:"No, at the moment. I use Linux. I could install one to detect Windows virus"6 -
Virus Rant: Unwanted folder keep creating itself after deleting it.
Windows Defender detected some malware & cryptominer exist and originated from Chrome folder
Solution: Remove completely Chrome and stick with Microsoft Edge for now!
I cant believe I am removing Chrome and stick with Microsoft Edge.
Lesson learn: please be vigilant at all time.16 -
Just in case any other devranters are in China, here is this morning's updated chart if you have wechat you can follow this account, stay safe and wash your hands
5 -
I'm surprised that a website so commonly used still looks like a virus site last updated in 1997. tinyurl.com5
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After couple of hours I made a list of different anti virus programs for almost any Linux distro:
And some other ones:6 -
RONALD REAGAN VIRUS: Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.
MIKE TYSON VIRUS: Quits after two bytes.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.
TITANIC VIRUS: Your whole computer goes down.
DISNEY VIRUS: Everything in your computer goes Goofy.
PROZAC VIRUS: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.4 -
this is motherfucking insane, that's why I hate microsoft and always will, fucking daddy will tell me what I can or can't (they do same shit to github and nuget) but look at this.
I don't give a fuck about unknown publisher, this is my PC, if I want to install a virus I want to install a virus! for fuck sake
15 -
I had a random thought yesterday.
I was thinking about a computer virus that's been influenced by AI (machine learning).
If we would train a model specifically for such a purpose, how massive would its impact be on the Internet and how effectively could it change the world's direction (not the physical rotation lmao)?2 -
I think I may have shared this a while back. Just played with this a little for fun. I was playing with an ESP8266. Apparently it takes very little code to turn it into an access point and have it redirect to a landing page just like a hotel wifi does. Every platform I had connect to the AP seemed to work properly. I setup the AP without a password and let people log in. I named the AP "Virus Distribution Point". Here is what they would see:
https://htmlpreview.github.io//...
Don't mind the name of the repo. It is a junk repo I made for making mom jokes.7 -
Anyone wants a virus for their mac?
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/...
Too bad Linux users cannot enjoy virus infected machine...
8 -
I really don't get why creators of already-suspicious looking software (and the related suspicious looking website) put terms like "NO VIRUS" or "100% free of malware" next to the download area.
I mean, why would that help anything?
(I understand those typical virustotal scan widgets though, those are fine)1 -
I was browsing on this website called ebay-kleinanzeigen.de and got redirected to this wonderful page.
PS: I've no known virus on my phone btw. Made the tests.
5 -
Just as the virus started, shitton of companies just cancelled our services. We already started dropping the price and I will probably have my week reduced to 10h (with an accordingly lower pay) .
At least it will be remote.1 -
This isn't something I've dealt with personally, but recently heard the story on the podcast and was pretty astounded:
"A company who makes add-ons for Flight Simulator X included malware in one of their downloadable jets, players have alleged. The malicious file is called ‘test.exe’ and it is designed to extract passwords from the Chrome web browser."
Now that's some extreme DRM. "Pirate our downloadable jet? We leak your credit card information and Social Security Number to the darknet."
Original story: https://rockpapershotgun.com/2018/...3 -
Windows 10 is a bloody virus that hijacks and controls your life. Wasting away my morning cause if updates... 2 hours and counting....6
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I just realized something, they put a lot of ads and viruses on porn sites because they were so horny, they didn't even think of the consequences opening the sites
*Mind Blown*
Yes Im a bit slow on this...5 -
Remove a users virus, save them for a day. Teach a user to Google error messages, save them from a lifetime of viruses.
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I am sick in the past two weeks.
"A virus " according to the doctor.
This cause me to drop performance for about 10%
Feels awful2 -
My CS exam today had a case study question that, and i quote, talked about "Chernobyl in japan switching to manual monitoring due to the wannacry virus" xD wtf. Im fucking done xD
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So all my friends keep calling me a negative person because I always correct them on how easily they can be hacked.
Friend: Hey (my name) I am going to buy a new computer and I will make you happy and not download illegal games on to it.
Me: That's a really good idea. Now shouldn't you also buy a virusscanner or at least make a full system back-up in case you get hacked.
Two days later
Friend: Yeah I got my new pc and can now finally play Kerbal Space Progran on it. It's stupid though that this dlc costs money so I downloaded it illegaly. But don't worry. I'll stop doing that from now on.
Another two days later I am spending my whole day trying to fix his computer because he downloaded a Trojan Horse that took over his computer and he had no virusscanner or back-up.
The problem is that I am 99 percent sure that such a thing is going to happen again and he'll be standing on my doorstep to fix it for him. Just let the doomsayer that is good with computers fix it and repeat the whole process all over again😒.7 -
I was getting bored with programing cause a majority of it is boilerplate code then i heard of the Mirai virus. It infected alot of iot devices so I decided to look at it and it was written in golang. It is a beautifully written botnet even though they're parts where it could have been better. So i looked more into golang and saw that it could cross compile pretty easily and could build self contained binaries really easily. On top of all this i saw the smallest docker containers with golang programs so i looked into it more and kept finding more and more that i liked. Easy library packaging, concurancy without boilerplate, quick servers, and the libraries from other devs that did all kind of great things3
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My windows defender has gone out of the window.
Now whenever i open windows security app, it shows a blank page.
There's is no tray process running and I can't find any service too.
I know it's a huge virus attack.
Can anyone suggest some methods to know what is causing this problem?
This has happened once before. That time i used DISM and checked windows files integrity. It replaced corrupted ones and then windows worked fine.
This time i want to know the cause.
I wanna root it out and rip it apart.12 -
I was helping a friend with her computer when an alert from the antivirus tells me there is a virus in the computer. I tried to delete it and the computer shows this alert (the translation would be something like: The action couldn't be performed as the file is a virus).
FUCKING WINDOWS I KNOW ITS A VIRUS SO LET ME DELETE IT. 😩😩
1 -
I don't use an antivirus and I probably never will.
I'll share two experiences from two different people to provide you people some base.
Firstly, this friend of mine wants to learn Android. He doesn't even have chrome installed. So I'm like let's get you a decent browser. I open the website to Firefox and I'm ready to install it.
He stops me.
He says don't install anything this isn't my laptop it's my father's and it'll get a virus.
*Facepalm*
I assure you it won't get a virus. You already have a fucking premium anti whatever the fuck suite installed so why are you worried?
Viruses are intelligent they can get anywhere. The argument was proving a waste of time besides I realized I had the files on my computer and just needed to transfer them via a thumb drive or something.
I bring over my thumb drive. Mr.viral fuck here is so shocked I thought his balls fell off. No! He doesn't want a thumb drive either, apparently they carry and generate viruses.
At this point I gave up to retain my health in the long run.
You know what I ain't going to share the other experience cause it's even more messed up.
Seriously what's with the paranoia ? I never have used an antivirus ever on my Windows installation and have never gotten infected by one either. How the fuck do people get infected by them ? I'm seriously missing something here.18 -
Do you know how hard it is to find a safe, virus free YouTube downloader that actually works? Very hard. How about one that downloads a whole playlist? Impossible.13
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At some point I stopped trusting anti-virus softwares for some reason. Nevertheless, I want to ask if anyone is using one on his/her Mac? Please recommend, because I got a warning today from my router's detection activity that I might have gotten worm virus ....😖2
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Recruiter: Hey! Ya want new job?!?!
Me: Maybe what bout???
Recruiter: Just mix rabies virus with influenza virus...
Me: Ah so ... Zombie apocalypse??
Recruiter: Yeah something like that!!!
Me: Mkay where does one sign? -
A long time ago you sent me an email with the subject 'I love you', I then got so excited that I forwarded the letter to all my contacts, and they forwarded it too.. I can't describe the words for the feelings I had back then for you. I felt into love with you, really. But there were always troubling moments for me.
For example when 'Code Red' showed up and found your backdoor. Man I was pissed at that time. I didn't know what to do next. But things settled, and we found each other again.
And then that other time when this girl named 'Melissa' was sending me some passwords to pr0n sites, I couldn't resist. She was really awesome, but you know, deep in my heart that was not what I wanted. I somehow managed to go back to you and say sorry. We even moved together in our first flat, and later in our own house. That was a really good time, I love to think back at those moments.
Then my friend 'Sasser' came over to us one night, do you remember how he claimed that big shelf in our living room, and overflooded it with his own stuff, so that we haven't a clue we are reading yet offshelve? Wow that was a disturbing experience.
But a really hard time has come when our dog 'Zeus' got kicked by this ugly trojan horse. I really don't want go into details how the mess looked like after we discovered him on our floor. Still, I am very sorry for him that he didn't survived it :(
Some months later this guy named 'Conficker' showed up one day. I shitted my pants when I discovered that he guessed my password on my computer and got access to all my private stuff on it. He even tried to find some network shares of us with our photos on it. God, I was happy that he didn't got access to the pics we stored there. Never thought that our homemade photos are not secure there.
We lived our lives together, we were happy until that day when you started the war. 'Stuxnet..'! you cried directly in my face, 'you are gonna blow up our centrifuges of our life', and yeah she was right. I was in a real bad mood that days back then. I even not tried to hide my anger. But really, I don't know why all this could happen. All I know is, that it started with that cool USB stick I found on the stairs of our house. After that I don't remember anything, as it is just erased from my memory.
The years were passing. And I say the truth here, we were not able to manage the mess of our relationship. But I still loved you when you opened me that you will leave. My 'Heartbleed' started immediately, you stabbed it where it causes the most pain, where I thought that my keys to your heart are secured. But no, you stabbed even harder.
Because not long after that you even encrypted our private photos on our NAS, and now I am really finished, no memory which can be refreshed with a look at our pictures, and you even want my money. I really 'WannaCry' now... -
Working with machine learning gets very tiring sometimes.
Waiting for the results, tuning the parameters...
Arghhh....why does it keep getting stuck...1 -
In the morning of first day of hackathon I got sick (flu or some virus). My friends are coding now. I am in the bed at home with fewer. :( FML4
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Wow, just fucking wow, you did it again Microsoft. You know the default mail app that comes with 8.1? It just randomly downloaded a pdf of a spam mail that it DELETED BY ITSELF before. Wow... "Hey, that looks fishy. Probably a trojan. LETS DOWNLOAD IT". I haven't even opened it. I was on my Desktop when it happened. Immediately deleted that crap.
That's actually the first time in the 3 years i have my pc that my antivirus was needed and it's not even my fault. -
!dev
During these past few COVID year, I've (so far) managed to not actually get the 'rona (not as far as I know anyway).
You know what this whole mess HAS gotten me though?
Just over 200 movies in a queue to watch.
I'm gonna need another pandemic and lockdown just to get through all that shit! Which of course won't work because it just keeps growing now, never shrinks.
...which makes me think I've discovered a new virus: streaming movies... they sure as hell seem to replicate like a virus, don't they?3 -
I had learnt my lesson about the reality of group projects in the very first semester of graduation.
And from then on till the final project in my postgraduation, I refused to have a team and worked on every project alone (except for a few times when I couldn't convince the professor and even then made sure to not depend on anyone else).1 -
Nothing like client requesting "Hey can you add a virus scan for every goddamn file in the pipeline ? (We don't know what antivirus software you can use, neither do we know what are the consequences of this virus scan failing. We also don't know why a system admin is not doing this server wide instead of a software Dev doing it for this specific individual component. Heck we don't even know why do we need the virus scan in the first place) You might need to think 'outside the box'. Let's hope this is done by 12th Jan. Regards" on a Friday goddamn night
They probably even expect me to write my own antivirus software instead of paying for one
Why is industry like this ? Is there really any polite way to deny this ?15 -
My salary was halved due to virus. Should I work have the time and be on the line for the whole day? Or unreachable for the other hours also?8
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Not the first I used a computer, but I remember playing this game called Dave. Oh god, brings back memories. My parents used to tell me it's virus. 😂2
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FFS how is a guy supposed to do any work with a PC as slow as this?? how many anti-virus can you install on a single machine??!!3
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Viruses are little monsters that eat your computer away (or what's left from it) after it's dead. They start with the heart (BIOS) and then go to the CMOS chip.2
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When clients come with virus-infested Windows machines asking to take data from theirs and wondering where it all went!2
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Trying to get HIPPA compliance, and wet have to put full disk encryption and anti virus software on all our servers...
All of our servers are on aws ec2 / eks. The instances we do control aren't big enough for anti virus to be running...
God help me now5 -
Is there any rant/post that is atleast a week old but still got 0 ++ ?
That is neither any upvote nor any downvote.
P.S. Don't take it up as a challenge for this one.2 -
I was watching over 9h of Windows and Azure Tutorials over the last few days, and now I don't feel very well. Guess I caught a Virus.3
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I had a compile error that I was missing a com reference. But on the pc of a colleague it compiled fine.
It was something from vlc, so I reinstalled vlc.
2 seconds after that my virus scan started shouting, alert, activeX element detected, removing.....
Which water buffalocock sucking piece of diarrhea stained retard (sorry for the retards I love you all a huggy bunch and you deserve better)
Uses an activeX element which even a virus scan can identify as completely unsafe -
Back in the days of DOS/Win3.x I was jerking around in school sending messages to my friends in other classes by changing autoexec.bat on the workstations I used.
Somehow someone mistook my messages as a virus, and the IT department closed down the workstations for weeks.2 -
"This Microsoft technical support, you have many virus on computer."
If only you could npm install pluralize on a human being, scammers would probably be too lazy to do it anyway.2 -
If everyone have the virus, there's no need to worry about getting the virus, because we already had it.6
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The last 5 days I have been searching for an issue! Non stop communicating with all involved partys!
Now I found the solution. I tell them all happy about my findings. And what do I get to hear?
"Yeah, I was thinking the whole time that that was the issue."
Are you fucking kidding me? Why the hell didn't you tell me??? At least a hint would have been appreciated...1 -
planning to program a fun virus and plant it in my room mates computer, what shall it do? you decide7
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I didn't know I wanted the breadcrumbs so badly in the new VSCode 1.26.
It's a relief from continually hopping to the explorer and code-outline activity bar. -
I don't know why, but every time I consume even a tiniest bit of information about Gary Vaynerchuk, I cringe immensely. It almost feels like an informational virus that just makes you cringe whenever you just acknowledge its existence.6
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AV heuristics toggle alarms on a program I created. I did not know that I integrated some virus features. Lovely.1
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Nothing prepares you for Windows deciding your program as a virus for all your thousands of users and having no idea why.
It wasn’t virus related at all. It needed a new signing with an updated certificate. Did the error say anything like that? Hell no . -
I dreamed about the matrix, where morpheus would be a virus and agent smith the virus scanner ... And ...
It fucked me up5 -
You might want to disable your virus scanner before trying to install this joke. It's 100% totally legit. Virus free. Just ignore the warnings if you see them. It's the real deal.
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Someone managed to install a virus on my class' computer. It's called amazon assistant or something like that and it keeps in opening a blank window called aa.hta as soon as you close it it opens again. It didn't change any file so idk, the only assumption i can make is that it mines cryptocurrency. But whatever is fun watching my teachers trying to close it.3
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Are antiviruses worth it ? My subscription expired a few days ago and they're pestering me to renew it. Will Windows Defender be good enough ? Do I really need an anti-virus ?14
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When a client keeps asking about how a new feature works...
Have you even bothered to read the fucking concept? IT'S ALL THERE!!! -
After many days, My computer started working fast.
Found Reason: My Anti Virus had been expired ;)1 -
Outlook warms me when opening excel attachments that it might contain viruses (PROTECTED VIEW).Ooooh fancy....
Only problem is that it's in Sent Items and if it had a virus I'm already f...ed2 -
Because of coronavirus we have two weeks remote work, I would say huzzah, but I took 1.5 week holidays for those days.
Btw we have 3 corona virus cases in the country 😂😭6 -
Someone asked me if i know a way to hack Facebook profile. Instead I want to give them a malware or virus. Anyone can help me get a good virus which disguise as a FB hacking app? Thanks6
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Microsoft Python Language Server SUCKS in both Visual Studio and VSCode. 😵😩😠
Doesn't provide suggestions for relative imports like "from ..".
Sticking to jedi... -
Virus scan is crippling my computer, can't deploy till it's done! Might as well be using ticker tape to deploy these reports to the server.
-
Learning to use logging in Python for an existing application.
🙇Feeling enlightened looking at the first log file output.3 -
"Google Search Fixer" is a must on Firefox Android iff you use Google search.
Now I can finally start using Firefox again..
PS: I was using Edge till now
https://devrant.com/rants/1248199/...4 -
What's the difference between data science, machine learning, and artificial intelligence?
http://varianceexplained.org/r/... -
The next big computer virus to infect the A.I. and push it off it's throne bringing back all dev jobs.
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Finally implemented my first ANN in my own environment (my own Virus Game). That feeling when have tested everything and it works, so you can just relax and put your feet up and. <3
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What are your opinions on antivirus programs?
I've just recently looked a bit deeper into it and it's scary how useless they've become... Especially signature based ones, as 82% of all malware only gets used once before they get changed again and 70% of them are only active for >1h.
Also, if you're able to google and have a slow sunday, you can easily write your own virus that won't be recognized by AV. It won't be a devilish masterpiece, but it'll work.
Do you think AV (especially paid ones) have a future?2 -
Background: Got a macbook, A external HDD(2TB) of which +- 1TB was used.
Yesterday i moved all my personal projects from my work laptop to my external, to move to my macbook.
One of my clients(Freelancing) calls asking me to install new hardware, install software and fix OS(Windows 8.1).
I leave work and go directly to said client and he hands over his Lenovo S20 Touch(No CD/DVD Drive).
I install windows 10 and other software from my flash(Already on there)
Good, Everything is ready to go. I go home and finally get to sit down with my baby(MacBook)
Me: *Plugs in external*
...
nothing.
Opens Finder, can't find flashdrive
Check MacKeeper
MacKeeper: VirusDetected
Me: *Pissed*
Client calls.
Client: Hey is everything ok with the laptop, no viruses no nothing. Because everytime i insert a flashdrive it gets a virus and i have to buy a new one.
Me: I installed windows 10 on it, it should be fine with defender now.
Heart: *shattered* YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME THAT BEFORE FUCKER!!
i never knew people like this still exist1 -
Corona virus: we will make America great again!
Makes sense, doesn't it?
[this post is not intended to be political - just an observation]11 -
Sometimes HELLO WORLD can be fatal...
Guess how ? 😕
Just see Covid-19 virus saying HELLO WORLD....
And here we are in a pandemic5 -
I ordered an EEG signal decoder from A Dutch company. But it is stuck in Delhi due to the virus. When are they going to allow shipment of non-essentials ?14
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Classiflying hack tools as virus on windows defender or whatever puts in risk users that want to hack some device but have to disable user defender to use them (and could potentially download malicious software bundled together or inside the hack tool)3
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What did you do with extra time due to Corona virus and what recommendations do you have for a cs undergraduate considering the situation?5
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Hey Guys !
How much backup does your UPS provide and what kind of battery setup are you using for it ?8 -
I just had a dream where I was running Linux and after installing Eclipse, some ransomware virus took over my SO.
Guess I really was tired as fuck2 -
Management that understands and respects the true virus like nature of technical debt. Considers the implications of bolting on more features. Gives me a place at the table in decision making regarding these matters.
Don't settle for any less. -
Hey gang,
I'm kind of interested in learning some hacking/virus basics. I wanted to try out some scripts but I'm kind da nervous. Can I run simple viruses on a VM without worrying about my laptop getting infected too? I would think so, but I wanna be sure.
Also, if you have any resources you can point me to, that would be great. Thanks!2 -
Humans are the one who moves to an area and multiplies. Multiply till the last natural resource is consumed. We are not human. WE ARE MORE LIKE VIRUS.14
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All students building are close to stop the propagation of the virus. But you web developer are an essential services you need to be there for two week to make an remote course system in 2 week 😆🤭3
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