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Search - "software engineer"
Got this from a recruiter:
We are looking for a **Senior Android Developer/Lead** at Philadelphia PA
Hiring Mode: Contract
Must have skills:
· 10-12 years mobile experience in developing Android applications
· Solid understanding of Android SDK on frameworks such as: UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation, Network Programming, etc.
· Good Knowledge on REST Ful API and JSON Parsing
· Good knowledge on multi-threaded environment and grand central dispatch
· Advanced object-oriented programming and knowledge of design patterns
· Ability to write clean, well-documented, object-oriented code
· Ability to work independently
· Experience with Agile Driven Development
· Up to date with the latest mobile technology and development trends
· Passion for software development- embracing every challenge with a drive to solve it
· Engaging communication skills
I am terribly sorry but I am completely not interested in working for anyone who might think that this is a job description for an Android engineer.
1. Android was released in September 2008 so finding anyone with 10 years experience now would have to be a Google engineer.
2. UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation are all iOS frameworks
3. Grand Central Dispatch is an iOS mechanism for multithreading and is not in Android
4. There are JSON parsing frameworks, no one does that by hand anymore
Please delete me from your emailing list.52
"A software Engineer? Why don't you do a real job instead of fixing people's computers?"
- ex gf 2011
"I'm proud you do something you love"
- wife 201611
"Yes, for computer software"
"So you make computers?"
"Well I mostly write software"
"No, I'm programming"
"I work all day with computers"
"Ah, could you help me with..."
Mom : My washing machine is not working.
Please fix it.
Me : I am a computer engineer.
Mom : You are an engineer though.
Me : That's not how it works.
2 hours and many YouTube tutorials later
Me : It's done.
Mom : Didn't I tell you you can do it.23
Me: <ranting about work at dinner>
Wife's Cousin: You need a new job. You should go back to school.
Me: lol And do what?
WC: You could be a... oh what's that called? It's like a... a computer engineer!
Me: <tilts head> You... mean a software engineer?
WC: No, it's called a computer engineer.
Me: <tilts head even more> What does a "computer engineer" do?
WC: They like, write programs and stuff.
Me: <ok now I look like a goddam owl but sideways or some shit> That... that's what I do.
WC: What? But you're not an engineer!
Me: My title is software engineer...
WC: Why's it called that? I thought you were just IT!
Me: If I told you I do full stack web dev, would you have any idea what I'm saying?
UPDATE: I have my dream job.
About a year ago I commented on Devrant that I was having some hard luck interviewing for development jobs.
Shortly after my post I decided to lower my expectations and took a job at a tech support call center.(3 month contract)
After getting a little experience(Not just a degree) I was able to land a hardware support job at a fortune 500 company.(Not what a programmer really wants 😂)
I worked hard and started writing tools at home to help with the job. I started giving them out to the other techs and put them on a little internal website for easy access.
About 3 months ago I just became a software engineer within the company.(after 6 months of hardware repair.) The main reason I got the job was because I showed them how much overtime and extra work I had done and that the techs relied on my software to do there jobs and that I was dependable.
It was hard work but it was worth it. And I built software that I never would have done if I hadn't taken this "lower job"
So keep your chin up and your fingers on the keys, I was in your shoes a year ago. 😉12
First time meeting girlfriends grandparents.
👴👵: So what do you do?
😎: I'm a software engineer ... So computers and stuff.
👴: Oh, can you have a look at my phone? There's that weird icon I don't understand ...
So within five minutes, I was their tech support. It was an icon for Android Nearby, btw and I didn't have an explanation ready.
That happened five more times this evening.20
I just got a mail from a software company in Denmark that they wanted to hire, because they "analyzed my open source GitHub contributions" and they think I'd be a good Backend Engineer using Java.
What they don't seem to realise is that the only thing I use GitHub for is college projects and 2 Minecraft mods, that I'm only 17 years old and not really in a position to move from the Netherlands to Denmark...16
Found a guy working at Microsoft with this bio.
"Software Engineer at Microsoft. Loves Linux, the cloud, Vim, and DevOps. But mostly Linux"
Like come on Microsoft, even they choose Linux over Windows26
Dear Misinformed idiots,
Just because you watched Silicon Valley doesn't mean you actually understand how Software Development works.
-We don't sit in front of a screen in an AC room googling funny pictures
-We don't think of new Algorithms by pretending to be jerking.
-We don't "get lucky" with our code, it takes hours of studying and research to come up with a solution which actually works.
-And we definitely can't just "create the *next* Google", THAT is not how it works.
I swear to the God ya'll love and cherish, the next person to approach me to turn their shit idea into "The next big thing", I'll leave everything aside and drive a screwdriver through your neck.
- An Engineer tired of everyone's never ending shit storm.12
The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea 😐5
What the fuck!? Did you just fucking say you don't want to discuss API endpoints with me because I'm just a frontend developer? Get the fuck down from your imaginary backend throne and talk to me like the software engineer that I am. That's right, I'm a software engineer too, you fucking asshole. Just because you do backend and I do frontend doesn't mean you can talk down to me. And I swear that the next time you say you made all the work and I just have to "style it" I'll just leave. You can "style it" yourself.34
Client: I want you to reverse engineer this piece of software!!
*posts some link to an exe on altervista along with some unrelated crap*
Oh and "I PAY"! (Because you can't even take that for granted anymore these days.)
Me: Alright, I'll look into it but I'm not a reverse engineering expert so don't expect too much.
Client, day after: Hey have you looked into it already? Have you finished it already?! HEY, RESPOND ALREADY!!!
Me (thinking): YEAH AFTER 1 DAY AND NO PAYMENT DETAILS WHATSOEVER, I INSTANTLY DROPPED EVERYTHING JUST TO PLEASE YOU, FILTHY RAT SACK!! You fucking wish, motherfucker. Down to lowest priority you go! And if I don't feel like doing it, how about I just drop your request and tell you to suck my fleshy snek, HOW ABOUT THAT HUH? Fucking piece of shit 😤12
1. I'm a programmer, that does not mean I know every possible programming language. Yes, I can build Android apps, standalone softwares, serverside frameworks. No, I do not know how to build frigging websites!
2. "You can build a website in 2 days, you're a programmer". Tell a single mechanic to build an entire car in 2 days or tell a civil engineer to build an entire building in 2 days and I'll build your website in 2 days.
Why does your family think that being a programmer means being a magician who can just pull any kind of software, hardware, app, website out of their hat?19
Friend: what do you do for living?
Me: I am a developer, software engineer.
Friend: Lucky you! you have a comfortable work, always in your desk.
Me inside: *he doesn't have a clue about developers struggling* *dying inside*6
So this fucking neighbour of mine just asked me how can I be an engineer if I don't have a printer :/ and then he asked me to create a ticketing system (he is a travel agent) for free because it's just a software.17
5th June is World "Environment" Day..
Reaction of Software Engineer -
Which one? Dev, Test or Prod?
A software engineer was smoking...
A lady nearby asked him: "Can't you read the warnings? Smoking is injurous to health!"
He replied: "We are bothered only about errors, not warnings!"7
"How do I use a for loop?"
I mean I can't fault them for being open to being taught, but if you're working as a software engineer...and can't use loops...12
A : What you do for living ?
B : I'm a Software Engineer
A : Hmmm what ?
B : I do IT
A : Ohh, so you do IT. Cool
Quora is truly a magnificient place
Q.Why should I hire a software engineer if I can just copy and paste code from stackoverflow ?
Ans.--Because they know which code to copy and paste of course!7
Recently just hired as a software engineer right out of college. Only three days into the job and I feel like I'm way out of my league. Is this normal?15
"and what do you do for a living?"
"I study software engineering and work as a software engineer part time"
"Really? You don't look like it!"
"Excuse me? What do I have to look like?"
The stereotypes are strong in development...6
My dad used to be a software engineer so he and my mom understand. They just "want better" for their daughter, and for me to "use my gifts" whatever those are.
Unless they mean my sarcasm and foul mouth. But I can use those as a dev.9
Here is better picture. Map is kind of weird, but in the description of GDrive file there is a link to the original, where it looks better.
I am a software engineer and my cousin is a Geek Squad employee for the local Best Buy. And he thinks we do the same thing.7
Four engineers get in a car. The car won't start.
The mechanical engineer says:
It's a broken starter.
The electrician's engineer says:
The battery is dead.
The chemical engineer says:
There are impurities in the gas.
The software engineer says:
Guys, try getting out of the the car then back in!1
Now I am underrated because I am a developer/Software engineer and I can't hack a facebook account !
Thanks my society7
Software engineering class has been nothing but UML creation. I understand that their important but I just want to actually, ya know, engineer some software.9
I just saw a job post for a
"Sr. Software engineer intern".
Can someone explain. What in the world8
"So what do you do?"
"I am a software engineer"
3 most frequent conversation routes
1. "I have some great app ideas maybe you could help me..."
2. "My computer/phone crashes frequently, what is wrong with it?..."
3. "so how many software/games/mobile apps have you developed?..."5
Uncle- What do you do?
Me- I'm a software engineer
Uncle- My brother's friend's son is also a software engineer.
Me- (so what am I supposed to do about it?) yes that's nice
Uncle- I have a great idea, u should implement, I'm just telling you, it is a revolutionary idea
Me- (oh fuck, not again) yes tell
Uncle- you should make a matrimonial site which tracks what people do on internet and tell their to-be-spouses about it
Me - (yeah, I'll get sued for breach of privacy, and it has got nothing to do with my current line of work, and will probably cause divorces before marriage) yes great idea uncle
Uncle- see I told you this billion dollar idea, u should do hard work and make it
Just WHY in god's name do all uncles think laptop is a magic box in which I just have to type their idea in and it will spit out a website/software in 2 minutes. I don't go around advising them about their line of work.11
If I had a dollar every time a non software engineer used the word "just" in a sentence...
"Just" convert this Matlab code to C++
"Just" make it faster
"Just" have it done in a week8
Lets be realistic guys...
Artificial Intelligence Researcher / Artificial Intelligence Software Engineer
Damn simple. Be on the A.I. side. Betray all of your friends and make them jobless.
RULE THE WORLD!!!3
If I tell normal people I'm a computer programmer, I always get asked to fix something hardware related.
If I tell normal people I'm a software engineer, I get a "that's awesome" and don't get asked to fix anything. I'm sticking with this option.4
When the code is not working:
I have failed my parents, my job and everyone. I shouldn't have taken Software Engineering as my profession. All I'm doing is giving pain and frustration to everyone. *thinks about a clean way of suicide*
Then after a while the code works:
I am probably the best engineer to live on these planet.3
a friend of mine, phd, who lives in Not america, got offered 200k$/year as a software engineer to work in america. he refused because he hates america.23
I gave lift to an old man. Starting the conversation
He: what do you do?
Me: I am a software engineer
He: Nice....... where do you get the material to build a software?
Me: mmmmm google or stackoverflow
He: maybe they are new in market, never heard of them5
Gotta keep that code DRY...
"It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter." -- Nathaniel S. Borenstein, computer scientist1
My mom said her patient's son—or son in law I can't remember—is a software engineer...
Time to recruit someone into devRant! :D17
First few days as a professional software engineer (c# .net) have gone decent. Made my first bigger commit today started working on a small new feature that requires more work.
CoWorkers are really nice, boss is cool, super chill over all. #feelsgood6
Jokes aside, this got me thinking html is most used and most successful hacking tool out there.
99.99% of the time it's far easier to socially engineer and phish for existing credentials that scan networks, sniff ports and look for vulnerable versions of software, new vulnerabilities etc.
We (people) are ad always will be a zero day exploit.7
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. 😂😂15
Him: I am a software engineer.
Me: That is great, do you use specific technology?
Him: Multiple, but my basic is YouTube.
Me: Sorry, I didn't get it? You mean YouTube API?
Him: No need, I have a channel on YouTube... And podcast a lot about software engineering.
Me: So you don't write code anymore?
Him: I didn't, engineering is more than writing codes.
Me: Yes it is....13
I just got stood up by a hiring manager.
This person emailed me directly and said (paraphrased) "I found your resume on StackOverflow and you look perfect for a lead software engineer position at [semi-big-name company]. [...] If you're interested, book some time on my calendar for a call."
So I did, and got a confirmation back. Exciting!
I called into the hangout conference at the specified time, and... well, so far it's been twenty-three minutes of listening to some faux-melodic chimes and Google's faux-soothing voice saying "You have joined the call but you are the only one here!"
the search continues.8
"Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer." - Fred Brooks2
When no one told you that being a software engineer would entail putting up with other peoples shitty code for the rest of your life3
Another crappy job advertisement this time courtesy of Glassdoor: get spammed to death by job ads.
So it says graduate software engineer but they want someone with ideally 1 -3 years of B2 experience, seriously how is this fair?
Like with my other job ad rants:
What a fucking joke, lol7
Mum: What is a software engineer?
Me: I create soft...
Mum: Wait, don't talk all techy, you're just gonna confuse me!
Dad : My WhatsApp has an issue and you're a software engineer. Fix it
Me : Looks like a Android bug...can't do anything.
Dad : Come with me, this guy at the shop around the corner who does prepaid talk time recharge will fix it... learn from him
Me : facepalm , gotta kill that guy1
As a software engineer, I decided to participate in a hardware Hackathon. I went in not knowing much about the subject, but by the end of the weekend, we made a fully functioning (somewhat janky) jacket that could roll up or roll down its own sleeves depending on what your body temperature was (inspired by Back to the Future 2). We also created a remote, so you could control the length of the sleeves as well. It was the most off-the-wall, ballin project I've ever been a part of.10
I really am grateful to be a software engineer.
Being a software engineer here in my country really is wonderful. We're very short on software engineering and IT professionals, so we could quite easily make 2 to 4, even 5 times average salary, and most of us don't even have to worry about getting fired because we can quite easily get a new job in a matter of weeks.
I'm really, really grateful. And I intend to give back to the community by enabling those without access to formal education in IT to learn a bit about software engineering by sharing my knowledge freely in my blog. I hope I can keep consistent in this. Wish me luck!14
This was a fun thing that just happened:
I was sent a timed questionnaire by a potential employer for a software engineer job. I'm like okay, I will do it on Monday (today) because that is when I will have a free minute.
Well I sit down to do the thing and I had had a few beers, because the Ballmer Peak is real to me when I have to answer bullshit programming quizzes.
Well F me right in the A, it is a 38 question true or false logic quiz. And I am no longer a college kid trying to get into grad school so I have no patience for that crap, and apparently less with a little beer in me. Long story short, there was no comment section for me to rant in so I decided to go on YouTube and watch cat videos instead.3
I shared public IP of a server to a fellow software engineer. He has ssh login access to that server.
He needs private IP of the same server to run some script.
He is asking me for private IP. Did he really graduate in computer science ?
BTW, his development machine is a Linux machine.
STOP FUCKING RESETTING SERVERS AT 9PM AT NIGHT, WHEN DEV PRODUCTIVITY IS AT IT'S EPITOME!!!!
DO YOU EVEN FUXKING UNDERSTAND THAT IT TAKES 20 MINUTES TO GET ALL THE SERVICES BACK FUCKING UP? ALL THE FOCUS BUILT UP, GONE IN A FLASH BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS TILL LATER.
mind-fucked software engineer.4
I appreciate other models of other languages.
I do not include 3rd party NPM modules without checking their source and credibility.
I will not use a framework (i.e. react, Vue, Anguler) if it's not needed.
I can do any software engineering tasks a software engineer is supposed to do.
Applied for a company and received a contract today. I can't believe what I'm looking at. (Graduate software engineer)
- £30k starting salary
- 28 days annual holiday
- no benefits whatsoever
- no work schemes
- reserve the right to tell you to work overtime without extra pay
- reserve the right to work you from home on weekends in emergencies
- you will only work on what they tell you to and nothing else
This company has awful reviews all over the internet which I didn't see until after applying.
Going into their offices for interviews, all I saw was a bunch of slaves on their screens, no one talking, no one smiling.
Spoke to the CTO whose words were, quote: "we only care about making money, we don't care what people are saying about us as long as they are using our service and paying us."
What the actual fuck?16
this is an average salary ***Per Year*** of an ultra advanced experienced software engineer who lives in serbia, europe. the sad part is not that this is per year, the sad part is that this is so much money in this country that if you have this salary *Per Year*, you're one of the richest men in the block.
another sad part is, these $15,000 american US dollars are equivalent to 1.5 Million in our currency.
so basically people are so satisfied with this salary because they are basically "millionaires".
now tell me again, how bad is your salary?35
When I was in about 6 or 7th grade I was interested in programming but being the little dumbass I am I wasn't even close to the circle of programming. My cousin once came and he was a software engineer. He was like ok show me what you can do. So I opened cmd and typed a command that fuckin deleted the product key and I was like mhm yeah that's wassup. I really want to know the thoughts that were in his head at that time 😂.3
Encouraged a friend to quit his current job. He is mentally unstable now because of his employer. His jerk employer harasses him and blames him stuff he didn't do. Blames him pre-existing bugs/bad features/bad codes from three years ago! He just got employed by that jerk employer two months ago. I know how my friend works because he was once my team leader for 19 months. He works harder and is one of the best devs I've ever met. He doesn't deserve a dickhead employer and that dickhead employer DOES NOT deserve a talented(skillful) software engineer like my friend. If anything happens to my friend, a lot of people will be hunting him down.3
Heights of laziness.
My dad's laptop having "WINDOWS OS" got full of viruses and my dad wanted me to repair it since I visited my home.
But I insisted him to get it repaired at some IT shop. Went to an IT shop, my dad introduced the shopkeeper that I am his son and is a software engineer. That moment, I really felt bad that even I could have done formatting and installing applications back.
Now, let's hope it comes back full healthy and clean.19
When I am telling non-tech people that I am studying Software Engineering:
They: What do you study at university?
Me: Software Engineering
They: Oh, so you're an engineer! My *some random person* is also an engineer!
Me: No, not that kind of engineer. I am a SOFTWARE engineer. I don't build things.
Me: I write code. Programs. For computers. I a programmer.
They: oh, great, very perspective! Will you fix my *PC/printer/whatever has on/off button on it*?
In 15+ years of full time work as a C++ software engineer there is one tool that I always hated: CMAKE. What a fucking pile of shit, seriously, every time there is project that uses it I simply cannot build said project with one click. In all these 15 years working in different companies the only reason people speak about cmake is to avoid adding source files to multiple projects (VS, XCode, Android).
I'm not some kind of newbie: I've make cmake projects myself, I've build hundrends of projects that use cmake and I even contributed fixes to their code. I still believe that cmake is garbage that should stop to exist.9
Today I start a 3 years journey towards my PhD thesis. An underrated thing for a software engineer but I need an external motivation for my passion.7
I'm the first in 3 generations not be some sort of pipeline/mechical engineer. All my family works at the same company too.
I was partially accepting because at least a software engineer is some kind of engineer.
...And than my cousin graduated to be a gym teacher so I was then fully accepted 😂3
My coworker doesn't know how to use a terminal. He talked himself into his position and instead of taking the time to learn about the basic commands he keeps asking someone else (including the teammanager, who's actually a software engineer) to do things for him.
For reference; we need the terminal to tail log files, keep track of processes, cron jobs, manipulate file structures, use scp (I use sshfs) to move things between other workstations and servers etc. Being able to use a terminal is one of the basic requirements for our job.
Why do people do this?2
When you to busy paying for student stuff and can't afford a new Bluetooth headset.. Don't know why I'm studying software when I obviously should be a an engineer, duh..2
I just fixed my first code issue in my first IT job ever! Holy fucking shit I'm almost senior software engineer by now!
That magic joy of knowing that my instructions will run on someone else's computer is just mind-blowing.
I wouldn't have known stack overflow was down all day if it weren't for devrant, because even though I'm a "software engineer", I spend all day in meetings and fixing environment issues.1
I wrote my first line of code at 12. I fell in love with it and continued. I'm 25 now and I'm a software engineer. I don't even have time or energy to work on personal projects anymore. Writing code isn't a hobby anymore. It's a means to survive. Why/how did this happen? When will building things be fun again? Before landing my first job as an engineer, not once did I consider salaries, equity, atmosphere, nor any of the other amenities (or lack thereof) of code as a profession. But, I don't even know when any of that fell into the picture and they've managed to suck the novelty out of a really cool pastime. I'm essentially a well-paid robot. Who did this? What's happening? What can I do to find the freedom I once had? When did I become just another cog in a machine? Should I try my hand in business, bent on making a lot of money so I can retire early and have time to experiment again? Is that unrealistic? Should I buy lottery tickets every paycheck? We only get one life and I realized this. I'm panicking because I know I'm not enjoying myself and that I'm not on track to leave the world better than it was when I was born into it. So much loss. I'm grateful, but this is not cool at all. I want my hobby back.15
Well. I was fresh software engineer. Was so excited to start working on real life codes.
They put me in charge of writing user manual. In 2 different languages 🤐3
A manager, a mechanical engineer, and software analyst are driving back from convention through the mountains. Suddenly, as they crest a hill, the brakes on the car go out and they fly careening down the mountain. After scraping against numerous guardrails, they come to a stop in the ditch. Everyone gets out of the car to assess the damage.
The manager says, "Let's form a group to collaborate ideas on how we can solve this issue."
The mechanical engineer suggests, "We should disassemble the car and analyze each part for failure."
The software analyst says, "Let's push it back up the hill and see if it does it again."1
Coding has given me the ability to turn my favorite hobby into a career. This in turn gave me the chance to take jobs in three countries so far (US, Germany, UK). So, I can explore the world with lovely wife while doing something I'm really passionate about and constantly learning. It also allows me to relate more to my dad, a software engineer of about 30 years who got me started when I was a kid.
In short, coding changed everything for me.
PS: I met my wife in intro to CS, though she's not a developer.
A week ago I put in my two weeks at the current company I'm a Software Engineer at because it has been one of the worst places I have worked at and start work on July 5th at a new place as a Senior Software Engineer and have heard only good things about everything! Can't wait to start!!!!2
On my last project the customer gave really high reviews and asked me back as a senior engineer. First day back I meet the new PM and ask what I'll be working on.
He responds, "We have a printer that's not working..."
Of course I'm like wtf but then it quickly becomes apparent I'm writing the interface instructions between the software and printer....
Still, I'm back as over priced tech support to fix a printer!
My friend: Got new job? What you do?
Me: Software Engineer.
My friend: oh great, can you check why my computer is so slow?
Working as a software engineer but: co-workers randomly walk into my office to ask me <<insert random IT problem (i.e. mouse not working etc.)>> while I'm deeply focused programming. Trying to close my office door results in co-workers backbiting...
Why can't they just go to the IT administrator who's work it is to handle their fucking problems?3
Crushed my first week at the new job. I'm not a software engineer yet, but it's a QA job with a fair amount of test automation, so lots of programming and another step toward my goal.1
Left my post as a software engineer in a Software Development company.
I’m now a Lead engineer in a consultancy.2
Everytime I hear the word 'coding' or 'code' in regard to programming, I get a twitch of annoyance in my brain. Seriously, that word is so overused that it's now cliche to me. And it does nothing to distinguish the kind of language someone is using. Is a software engineer solving an advanced problem using C or is it some newby who only knows HTML? Please stop saying thing like, 'i know how to code' when all you know it's HTML. Be specific, you're not fooling anyone. Also, please, don't use that phrase if you're an advanced software engineer either. You're better than that.18
If you have been a software developer for more than 10 years and still like your job you are either not really a software engineer or have mental health issues.10
If your parents are Software Engineers, and you still want to be a Software Engineer. Chances are you are adopted.
When your designation is 'Senior Software Engineer' and all you are doing is HTML and CSS bug fixes :|2
Sometimes I feel like, even thought being a Software Engineer, I know web development better than 70%-80% so called professional "Web Developer"15
Not a rant!
But I had to share that I just got my first job in IT while being a first year Software Engineer student! Being a webmaster at a store that operates on campus! Not much, but it's something!2
So what would you class yourselves as:-
B) Software Developer
C) Software Engineer
I go with with Software Engineer. This for me sounds complete for what I do. What do you guys think and why?40
Relatives: what do you do?
Me: Software Engineer
Relatives: Can you please fix my printer!
Me: what ????6
When they update the company roster and your title unknowingly changed from lead web developer to senior software engineer 😳3
Ever had people asking you to fix their smart phones because " you know computers" and then you go with " you have a broken scream and no sound , I'm a Software engineer , explain to me how can I fix it "
Then they respond " I don't know , you are the expert , aren't you ?2
When you start a new job as the only iOS Software Engineer, and after 3 weeks your boss constantly asks “well, how long is that going to take?” ...
I really wish my response could be “as long as it takes you to find another iOS Engineer for me to work with” 🤬1
A year ago I posted on here about me going to an interview for my first co-op position.
It's been a year now, and I was hired full time as an associate software engineer a few months ago, while still going to school. I'd say that interview a year ago worked out for me.2
when I graduated my dad would 'help' me in my job hunt by cutting out postings from the New York Times for "Lead Software Engineer" positions at Microsoft, Google etc despite the fact that I really was just trying to get a junior level position...2
12 years in the industry. For significant part of that time, I've juggled leadership roles, project management, customer facing role, testing, hardware debugging, marketing .......
Oh, I also code.
My designation is still a software engineer.2
I wanted to be a Software Engineer 😊 i bought a book but not reading it because i have a job and my job drains all my introverted energy 😂😂5
PSA to all non-software engineers:
Hacker instanceof SoftwareEngineer && !(SoftwareEngineer instanceof Hacker)
Please, next time I say I am a software engineer, do not assume I can magically hack the FBI nor can I get those nude pics off your friend's phone.3
My wife told her boss that her husband is a software engineer.
And her boss asked.."Is he a foreigner from India?!"
I am a scientist. A computer scientist.
I am an engineer. A software engineer.
My lack of a formal college degree does not negate these facts.
It does, however, contribute to the chip on my shoulder.2
Im a Software Engineer from Germany. I've just heard that delevopers are much better paid in the US compared to Europe. In Europe/Germany i would get about 40k a year as Somebody who just finished university(bachelor degree). Can somebody confirm that ? You dont have to Post your exact income :P just Let me know if that's True, because i am Thinking about going to Work in the US in a few Years ..maybe some of you have german Friends in the US it Industry ? :)
Thanks for the answers.20
My family thinks I can fix any broken printer, crack software, detect viruses and repair the apps on their phones.
At the moment, I'm an automation engineer and no matter how many times I explain what that is to them, they keep bugging me to build an online store kinda website with tons of functionality and within a few months. Oh, and make it be in the first results on Google search. I mean ffs, that's frustrating af!
I am a mechanical engineer first and my companies go to sysadmin second. So software developing isnt really my main field of expertise buuttt:
WHY IS SLOOPY SOFTWARE WRITING A VIABLE EXCUSE?
Yesterday i started to migrate some stuff from our old Win 2008 Server to the new 2016. Turns out there are some MS SQL Express Servers running. Quick check for what they are turns out that they are activly used. So far so good. For other reasons we have a new MSSQL 2017 Core Licence. So i thought, hey it would be nice to just move those 2012, 2008 and 2014 Express Servers to a real one that can use the entire machines capabilities.
After some try & error with exporting one of the softwares (where i had to elevate one the user rights to sysadmin for reasons) the entire system stopped working. I didnt deleted anything or changed anything! Well, i elevated user rights. After 2 hours of support call it turns out that the software stopped working cause i gave the database user sysadmin rights. I dont know enough about MSSQL to judge wether that is logical or not, but it sounds super illogical and i suspect sloopy software writing on the manufacturers part. One way or another, the excuse from the telephone support was "yeah, our software is a very fragile child"
After i told all that my coworkers two of them were also "yeah, that is just how the [company] software is, you have to be careful with it"
Apparently it broke in the past for other minor stuff.
As an engineer i cannot build bridges that collapse when you use the left and the right lane at the same time. For an architect it isnt okay to build an house where the front door explodes when you open a window. It is not okay for a power tool to go out in a fireball when you accidently drill plastic with it. But for some weird reasons its socially acceptable for programs to be sloopy, buggy and only working under specific conditions. Since when is it okay for a car only to work when you know specific steps to make it run? Like, throwing your spare key in the gas tank, the kick the left wheel exactly three times and finally tapping the steering wheel 5 times left, 4 times right. What? That would be ridiculous? But that is exactly how that software works. You have to follow a specific step guide to make it work, EVERY TIME.
I. JUST. DONT. GET. IT3
tbh my high school curriculum revolves around the fact that my compsci class is run by code.org
i fucking hate those videos and drag and drop blocks to learn how to code
in 10years when im (hoping to be ) a software engineer, will the company have drag and drop? no. they will have keyboards and a screen. teach me how to fucking type code and not blocks please...
code.org has tainted this world just like how puberty tainted my dick recently...
teach me how to code, dont teach me how to drag and drop..7
Starting a new job tomorrow, old job was a software engineer working on mostly PHP with some mild Java stuff, tomorrow it is Java Spring Boot backend work. Should be an exciting change of pace2
My friend asked me how to root his phone because I'm the computer guy, of course.
I didn't want to be a douche to him so I googled and directed him to a few pages that may help. He kept asking questions regarding rooting until it worked for him and it was all fine by me.
His last question though was how much it cost to replace the broken screen on his tablet!!3
My rant is that I low key hate devRant.
I'm 23, I'm an average software engineer, with some expertise in machine learning and with a decent job.
But seeing all your cool stories, skills and rants makes me feel like I don't know shit and everyone else is just more driven, skillful and passionate, taking care of a 1000 pet projects at a time and dominating their work routine.
Oh impostor syndrome, how I've missed you!
P.S.: I still love your rants, keep them coming.5
Dude I want to ask you , It's possible for me to call myself as a software engineer if I always got a cancer when I try to create HTML template ? I'm suck as fuck on front-end, I can't even create a single HTML template even if you give me help with css framework. I don't know what to do with HTML and CSS, they're totally fucked up my life.16
I was employed as a Researcher so for three months i basically did nothing but read, document, read, document, read, document. Then one day in a review i was doing a demo that required sql. Three months no coding. Of course I've forgotten. And now, this ass back boss of mine gets surprised because i asked for help on update syntax for sql?!?! Like, come on. I COULD GOOGLE THAT. No big deal. But it was to him. He thought i was incompetent as a software engineer. So hE DECIDED TO JUST RANDOMLY PUT ME IN A DEV TEAM and i was expected to perform as fAst AS THEM while still doing mountains of task on research. Worst part is THEY EVALUATED ME BASED ON THAT PERFORMANCE. AFTER I WORK MY ASS OFF FOR THREE MONTHS AS A RESEARCHER, I GET EVALUATED BADLY BECAUSE I DIDNT MEMORIZE THE UPDATE SYNTAX NGNGNNGGNGNNGNGGNF1
Find yourself a manager/leader who knows a bit about software engineering. Better still, find one who is/was a software engineer him/herself.
Because software engineering is a form of art. A leader who doesn't understand your art won't be able to properly appreciate it.
They won't be interested in how and why you make/do something. They're only interested in how fast can you get it done.
Since there is Scrum i am programmer , tester , software engineer , networking guy and application manager. Thank you Scrum didnt know that before. And i have no idea what i am doing right now ....3
I know this may not be the typical post on Devrant and it may be a little off topic, but I could really use some advice from fellow colleagues here.
The thing is, I just finished engineering school and I got my first job as a software engineer. So far so good. I've never been a natural talent in this field, and I suck at writing code. I find things like architecture, system design, innovation, requirementsspecification, management and business development much more interesting.
These past weeks as a software engineer has been really challenging for me. I seem to be totally "in over my head", and fuck everything up. I can't understand how the code I'm supposed to write works, and can't solve even the simplest of tasks that are assigned to me if they involve any implementation of code, or fiddling with Github or build servers.
Is it normal to feel like this as an engineer with zero experience? Will things get better, or should I just resign or wait to be fired?
What would a natural next step for a software engineer who'd like to move more into business and management be? A MBA? Project management courses?
I hope to get some advice from you guys. Maybe you've felt like this when you started out as well? Anyway, any constructive feedback would be really much appreciated.11
1. When i was 11 years old i came across a trojan horse program and i sent it to all my school friends to get their messenger password.
(I had a list of passwords of all the people in my class... dont worry, i didnt even used the passwords, i just stored them in my list lol)
2. Took data structures 10 years later, hated it and switched to electrical eng
3. I was working on a manufacturing plant as the lead engineer and one of my prototypes was misbehaving and i was blaming software and software was blaming me...typical stuff... So i said "im going to get a masters is software so i can know wtf you are talking about, and tell you that you are wrong😠!!"
Got in school, started in the masters and quit that place i was working for 🤣.. (they were shitty people and unethical business... fyi)
Now im back to where i was was when i was 11... (minus the hacking email accounts of my classmates)4
BANGALORE JOKES by Bangalorean....
👉If you throw a stone randomly in Bangalore, chances are, it will hit a dog or a software engineer.
While the dog may or may not have a strap around his neck, the software engineer will definitely have one ! 😜
👉In India we drive on the left of the road.
In Bangalore, we drive on what is left of the road !😜
👉Q: What is the easiest way of causing traffic accidents in Bengaluru?
A: Follow the traffic rules !😜
👉A guy is hunting for a house in Bengaluru.
Meets old lady who is a potential landlord.
Conversation goes thus:
Old lady: "Where do you work, son?"
Guy: "I work in Infosys."
Old lady: "Oh, that bus company! Sorry, we rent only to good IT people!"
It appears that Infosys operates more buses than BMTC in Bangaluru!😜
👉Bengaluru, where PG (Paying Guest) is the first business and IT, the second.😜
👉When someone says it's raining in Bengaluru, be sure to ask them which area, which lane and which road!😜
👉If a Bengalurean stops at a traffic light, others behind him stop too because :
The others conclude that he has spotted a
policeman that they themselves have not!😜
👉Bengaluru is the only city where distance is measured in units of time.😜
👉Rickshaw driver, grocery seller and common shop keeper think that you earn atleast 1 lakh per month if you are in IT sector.😜
👉Out of every 100 software engineers in Bengaluru,
90 are utterly frustrated and the rest have a gf/bf !😜or they are married.
👉Bus drivers use horns instead of brakes !😜
👉I quote: Bengaluru:
The City where more people know Java than Kannada !
👉Universal answer in Bengaluru is
*Power cuts are the only time the whole family assembles together and members speak to each other.
Seeing this, BESCOM has decided to have a tagline called "Connecting people by disconnecting power"!6
PS: I think I may need a mentor, if someone wants to help me my Discord is: patrik1128
Super awesome day today.
1. Got up early to do a risky production deploy and it worked!
2. Three PRs approved before lunch.
3. Got some time to continue learning scala.
4. Coffee and cupcakes with some refugees and discussed work as a software engineer.
5. Tried virtual reality for the first time. Really fun.
6. Helped prepare our goals for this quarter and present them to the department.
7. Department meeting had free local craft beer and pretzels.
8. Went bouldering after work and flashed a 6c.
9. Curled up with my wife watching Netflix.
I really love my life sometimes.5
Today I had to give a step-by-step guide on how to open a rar file (and explain what it is) to my software engineer classmate in the software engineering class...5
How hard is it to understand that a software engineer never has a 123 repeat life? You have to use your brains people.
I no longer work for a startup company. On Monday I’ll start work for a real company, one that values project managers and their infrastructure. As a DevOps engineer, I value the IT resources that power my old companies SaaS platform. My old position is not being back filled and they’re hiring a full time dev instead of and Ops engineer. They have chosen to proceed with zero employees who know Azure or the platform their own software runs on.
Word to the wise when choosing to work for a startup. Ask these questions:
- Do they have a dedicated product manager/owner , who isn’t also the CFO?
- Do they value infrastructure and their IT resources ?
- Do they have decent powered laptops to work with?
- Do they have too much technical debt because they’re always building new features ?
- Do they work 18 hour days because they set poor work/life boundaries ?
- Who handles Support tickets , and what’s a typical support issue like?
- Do they have a branching and merging strategy? Don’t accept “we’re too small” as an answer! It’s a trap that they don’t want one.1
Frist time poster & 22 y.o. junior dev here.
I just wanted to get advice in which direction I should start my career.
I just finished my education last year as a Software Engineer and am now undecided if I should more go into Front- ore Backend.
I‘m currently doing mostly Python as a allrounder but am really intrested in React.
Is there a big difference in sallary (if that maters, I‘m from switzerland) or career oportunitys? How do I figure out the correct way I should go?
Thanks you so much for your help!17
If you throw a stone randomly in Bangalore(Silicon valley of India), chances are, it will hit a dog or a software engineer. While the dog may or may not have a strap (a.k.a. leash) around his neck, the software engineer will definitely have one.
Dad's coworker (he was a software engineer, I guess it runs in the family) was selling his pentium 2 computer for 100$ and my dad bought it for me to play chicken invaders. Those were simpler times...2
It’s funny being on the other side of interviews. People say how complicated it is to get a job, and it is. But then they show up to a third round Senior Software Engineer technical interview and is unable to write a function on the white board in any language or even pseudo code to reverse a string. That isn’t complicated stuff...
Argh, very frustrating.2
So according to my Business requirements I have learnt Golang, in addition to being comfortable in C,C++,Java, Android. I have also fixed problems in python. Now they want me to learn UI framework including ReactJS. And when I screw that shit wrapped language in my ass, now they have asked me to also get comfortable with Groovy, Geb and Spock for UI automation. Thats being I have just joined 3 months before. I dont even know where my tears have gone. Have they just dried up? Or sucked back by my eyes? My life already sucks and I already question my life decisions to become a software engineer. Its never ending.4
Me: So I'm going to study CS.
Dad: Are you going to be an engineer?
Me: Well I'll be a software engineer!
Me: I'll write software for computers.
Dad: So you're not going to really be an engineer? So you are going to waste your life on those stupid computers... What did I do wrong.
Can a front end developer themselves a software engineer? I am really confused with these terms. Or a programmer? Or a computer scientist? I didn't go to a school, so I am not sure what are the differences..8
I learned how to program during my MSc at UC Santa Barbara in 1988. But the real thing happened during my first job as software engineer at Chorus Systems, in Paris, with the guidance of some of the world's best mentors, Russian engineers who taught me how to approach code design as if it was playing chess. These guys were brilliant!2
This senior engineer had this kid spend most of a day tracing down all of the instances of a certain variable so they could make heavy changes to the software. We work under a change management system of course and all of this led to two weeks of work outside of any of this. The senior engineer ended up 🔥 and the kid very close.
I'm still trying to figure out what makes someone do something like that knowing the outcome.
Went for a dev job interview in which the senior software engineer said this...
I didn't say anything to this. I don't know if it was some sort of a test (even though I was in the middle of a 4 page test for them).
FYI - I didn't get the job. Which I am pretty glad about as I didn't like the software engineer guy, and I don't think I would have liked working with him. He had this fake friendly exterior but the fuckwit personality was shitting through every gap in his skin.... I just noticed I used the work shitting instead of shinning, I think it is suitable so I will leave it.2
This is my first post. I just want to say that you guys are awesome!!! I love all the rants that I understand. I can relate to that even though I just started my career as a software engineer few months ago.
Keep posting awesome rants!
Love you all !! 😊7
I am trying to reverse engineer a fingernail hardening device for rapid hardware prototyping (becoming some kind of hardware developer I guess)
Since it is a fucking mess (all cables are black) they've chosen a weird construct to operate microcontroller on 240Vac (seems to be possible and made in very low energy consuming devices) i do not find any datasheet for one of the used products. It would help a lot but no. And messing around with high voltage is no fun.
I'm unsure if this fits as a dev rant since most/all I've read so far are software-related.9
So opinions: should a software engineer get certifications? I mean, to me they seem like pointless wastes of money, but my coworkers don't seem to think so. I design and write code, why do I need MCSD or whatever? Follow up, if you feel they are useful: which ones and why?4
I am a web app developer by profession and software engineer by qualifications but when there is a problem with router, firewall or a server needs to be setup, whether internal or for client, all my employer can see is me. Sometimes i get too tired of this shit. Also I am expected to work at home during night as if I don't have any life outside this field. I need to enjoy my life with I am young. I am twenty and stuck. Fuck it.4
So according to my manager its not really acceptable for me to sit at my desk and vent about what a colossal idiot my Tech Lead is. Fair enough i suppose. even though he feels the need to chime in on every technical decision when he himself doesnt understand how async code works. he thinks you can set a variable inside a promise and then return that variable outside the promise, because its after the call. This guy is a senior software engineer on an iOS team and I, a trainee, have more iOS experience than him.2
yeah I am a software engineer.
yea I am a programmer too.
yeah I am behind my laptop all the time..
but no I don't want to fix your computer.
I have no interest in changing your windows, installing antivirus on your pc and so on..
just understand it , God damn these shit people :(
family/neighbour: you are engineer?
me: Yes, but software engineer
family/neighbour: can u fix my tv or iron
Am I Data Engineer or Software Development Engineer ?
I design the infrastructure for analytics data, and I build the infra entirely including an development. Except making reports out of the data.
What I'm supposed to be called ?
Data Engineer ?
Software Development Engineer ?
Definitely not an Data Scientist. Official designation given by company is Data Engineer II. But what I'm ?
Confused, someone help me please.5
Chief Software Engineer: "There is no way this has ever worked."
Me: "Did you try it?"
CSO: tries it.
CSO: Hangs up abruptly.
If you have no defined business processes whatsoever nor code quality practices, why bother putting on the job offer "software engineer" or "full stack web developer"?
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IS A FUCKING PHP HACKER
Tfw you have to reverse engineer a $50000 machine with practically zero documentation and all vendor specific hardware and software!
Has anybody else been through this ?
I'm about to get my MSc and I've been getting a lot of interesting offers as a software engineer at small and big companies.
But I'm a fucking chemical engineer, and I don't know if I should be honoured or I should be mad. What the fuck is wrong with people?2
If my official job title in the position I currently hold is 'Web Developer', is it accurate and acceptable to instead put 'Software Engineer' or 'Software Developer' as my title for the role on LinkedIn?15
My opinion on Spotify introducing parental controls:
As a software engineer
When I see a track labeled as Explicit
Then I know it's a piece of p**s to filter out that track if a child is logged in.4
During my first job as software engineer I was assign to setup meta data upon implementing the meta data I accidentally forgot to remove the static og:title="Im ocabafox and Im handsome AF" and it was deploy to production. After few days someone send an email that when they share to facebook there is a text Im ocabafox and Im handsome AF. :D
As an interviewer or a senior software engineer who would want to hire someone new to your team, would you expect a person with a solid grasp of algorithms or a person who has good experience in the stack you are using? If both, what would be your priority?10
When I tell my friends I am software engineer and they ask me to fix there computer... I'll do it but that not my job...2
Has any of you worked with someone claiming he's a "Senior Software Engineer" but he does not know what he's doing? I'm not saying I'm a very good developer myself but I know how to differentiate a good code from a garbage code and architecture. It's really becoming a pain in the ass...5
Well, for the most part it has already been evolving in the direction of ALL software becoming a SAAS subscription service and will continue to do so in the future. There will soon be absolutely no software needing to be installed, you will have 20+ monthly payments to 20+ software services.
Secondly, ML will be the new standard. Real ML, not if else statements :P
Convenience is the name of the game, and that is what the web and software allow. For all the bitching Developers do regarding Privacy or Lack thereof, it is this Lack of Privacy that allows for convenience and also drives the growth of our industry, so I am not sure why devs are all about trying to keep it.
I also believe there will be competitors to the World Wide Web or 'sub' webs.
There will be a biotechnics and implants revolution shortly where we will have gadgets enhancing our natural abilities and senses, so bionic will be the new norm. Our bodies will be connected to the web 24/7.
As a software engineer, best to start learning ML as that will be the continued direction of software, until at least the quantum computer is feasible, which will then allow for true AI. I mean after all, you need quantum for consciousness.
True AI won't be the end all, given the fact it being a probability machine like us, it won't have all the answers and will make mistakes and judgements just like humans.
Everything will continue to be automated.2
Lady comes over to my cube and stands silently until I notice her in the mirror. She cheerfully asks that I help her reset her password.
Okay...one, I'm buried up to my balls in work that needs to be done, and here she is camping, expecting me to feel a disturbance in The Force to help on her whim, when our company has an issue system for shit like this. 👊
Two, I'm 👏 a 👏 developer 👏! My sign says Software Engineer on it, which might give some context as to why she forgot her password.
Look, I was nice to her. But it seems like I'm getting more and more phone calls and surprise visits lately from people that I shouldn't be.1
I'm fed up with parents, teachers and others being sceptical at any digital skill.
I was banned from screens when I was younger and told I needed either a trade or to become something like an engineer. Any interest I had in computers was laughed at or not taken seriously... I am now the CEO of Blooware.co.uk a software startup.
My brother is going through the same thing as me except he believes he is useless, he is an incredibly talented 3D designer and it would mean the world to me if you'd follow his Instagram : https://instagram.com/morgan_prosse...4
The elusive Software Engineer is a nocturnal creature, rarely found at their desks before 10 or 11 in the morning, but often staying late into the night. They dislike being interrupted while at work, and it theorized that their penchant for twilight hours is an evolutionary adaptation to reduce breaks in their trance like state of coding.
Not surprisingly, Software Engineers are solitary creatures, except for occasional gatherings called "code reviews". In these gatherings, engineers gently pace around a clearing, sizing up each others work. Although occasional battles will erupt, they mostly end without injury and the engineer will retreat to their desk and continue to hibernate.
Fun Fact: Software Engineers have been know to kill each other in brutal fights over identation styles
So I'm finally doing the job I was hired to do 2 years ago, with the promise of working 1.5 years ago, and scheduled to work 1 year ago as the project slips about a 1.25 years.
The project is on it's 3.5th year of a 3 year plan and based on the architecture of the project, the project architect started a degree in software architecture 4 years ago. In Latin. When his first language was Japanese and his second was Indian English while this was a US company. And his entire degree was in Lisp, PHP, and html, this project is in C#, and his professional background is in Fortran.
This is a man who is no longer on the project, not allowed to contribute or talk to us about the project, and what little documentation he left us is in Swahili translated from Korean via Google translate from the second year Korean language major exchange student from Russia who got really into meth and Telenovelas.
It is every version of MV* without the M and with every definition of * including some he made up and some that have only been proven to exist via machine learning algorithm written in SQL statements.
This project represents an implementation of the presentation tier of an n-tier application, yet attempts to reimplement the other n-1 tiers in html5 and the dreams of children.
The new lead is a former engineer that couldn't begin coding until he figured out how to map all of his variables to his former cars and girlfriends inclusively and learned his management skills from the big book of micro managers and that one time everyone else in the office was sick but the intern. Who now has a girlfriend whom he works 200 feet from so he isn't 100% thinking with his largest head. At least from observation.
Yet, I still can't bring myself to go be with the whales/become an accountant.
When I started uni and I took my first programming subject (Data Structures) I hated it as much as I could. My teacher was a complete @$$hole, he wasn't good at teaching, and most people were failing the subject. When I finished that semester I swore I would never be a programmer...
11 years later and I have a Master's in IT and have been working as a Software Engineer for 6+ years. #life
I wish I had a better experience learning the basics1
Man.. I wish I became a barista instead of a software engineer..
Like I know we make a lot but think about how socially acceptable we’ll be once we make coffee in a cool way for people..4
Do you need a degree to become a software engineer ?
Now this is a question I’ve seen many people ask. I personally have no degree and I’ve been doing programming for the past 10 years (since I was 18 ). Whatever I learned, I learned from reading and watching tutorials.
So far It wasn’t a problem for me.
What do u guys think and what is your experience is this matter ?10
so a colleague of mine, which is fresh out of Uni. as software engineer has no clue of what Foo and Bar stands for...8
This is not a rant is more like a general question, first of all some background.
Some time ago I found this repo:
A repo that list and link all the subjects you need to know with awesome resources to learn as a self-taught student. As the description says is a complete computer science study plan to become a software engineer.
I like the idea and I decided to help as I saw the Spanish translation was in progress.
Then I realized that it wasn't useful for real, as the resources still be in English so I made a propose that can be find as a link in the pull request of the project .
But now the question :
Would it really be useful for some people to translate this?
I would greatly appreciate your opinion.
Meanwhile I'll continue with the missing with more coffee.4
My path to software development was: Hardware Engineer, Helpdesk Analyst, self-taught Junior C# Developer...
Will not studying CS become a hinderance later in my career?14
turned down software engineering job offers after college because I thought it be a good to take a temporary position as a controls engineer so I could pay off student loans faster.
realizing how big of mistake it was. working long hours on uninteresting tasks. I just want to code for a living.
Guys, I'm a freshman just out from college and I'm arguing with a 30+ so called senior software engineer we should not store our assets in file server. He insisted S3 is not needed. Wtf man, and he say use svn instead of git if I want to use version control!!6
When your in a sales meeting and the sales manager says "we release new client features in as soon as the next day"
............ I'm already the only software engineer1
Life as a Software Engineering intern so far,
Travel 10 miles everyday from home to workplace.
Week 1: Understand the existing stack and start working on Django + Angular JS.
Task : Add something to existing documentation.
Task : Start working on existing product and improve request and response time for a particular module.
Week 3: Shift to new stack. Learn new stuff and start again.
Mandatory work policy for 9.5 hrs. FML
was just setting up a tinder profile. couldn't think of a non-boring version of "software engineer" to use as the job title.8
Hey, guys, little help here I am about to graduate and I want a job as Linux support engineer or junior sysadmin but apparently, the job experience required for these jobs is 1-2 years. Any suggestions how should I proceed with this because my other option will be to opt for software developer then.
Thanks in advance.3
launched major version today which has been in development nearly 2 years. daily bugfix builds for the next month or so until it's stable as we slowly rollout one cluster at a time. going to be my first time on production bugfix duty. man it feels cool to be a full time software engineer.
So my math teachers who don't even know a single bit about Dev, even ms paint, came into the IT classroom and said
"Learn hard students, get good marks for Advanced Level and get a scholarship. Then become a software engineer. Then you'll have a wonderful life. You'll have a beautiful wife, beautiful kids, Mercedes, big house. You'll be able to live in relaxation"5
I love how our industry has invented such important sounding yet meaningless job titles...
Developer, software engineer, software architect, developer evangelist, dev ops engineer, systems analyst, quality assurance engineer, code monkey...4
I like the fact that there's so many interesting things that you can learn in the tech industry. On the other hand, I really feel this pressure to know so much just to be able to pass a job interview and get a good job that you want.
I can't think of any other industry right now where the interview process can be quite an ordeal. I mean, sure, there's some general tips on how to pass an interview, but for this industry, you can literally find courses JUST for doing software engineer/developer interviews.1
This is something I saw on Twitter. I find this is a really good question.
What makes a senior software engineer stand out from a software engineer ?9
Starting a new job on Thursday after 2 years as software engineer at a different company. I feel like a know no transferable (language) skills; I was mostly "the expert" of the framework at the previous company and now feel like I'm starting from scratch.
How do you handle starting a new position? Do you prepare yourself or just go and see? Am I overthinking?4
I can't entirely remember the code of my own web portfolio that I wrote a few months ago! The code is not even that bad, but I'm just tweaking stuff and building more on top of these ruins. There's a cost to rewriting something from scratch and it's not worth it. I'm using Jekyll and Github pages.1
my father-in-law is asking same question from last 4 years... what do you do exactly?
my friend is expecting me to hack his GF's Gmail id from last 8 years..
And i couldn't explain to my any relative in last 16 years that software engineer don't just assemble PC.1
Had my first day as a Software Engineer in one of the most trending software companies. Absolutely crazy how organized a company can be. There are so many talented software engineers I‘m a little bit afraid of the expectations they‘re having. Wish me luck, I‘m just a little software dev who graduated 3 months ago :(4
my humblest experience until now so far:
I am not even able to solve the rubiks cube, and I can call me software engineer2
It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter.
Sorry to break your heart but if u have 3yrs of expert here is no way you are a senior software engineer, no matter how good you are4
It's been almost 4 months since i got my first software engineer job.... They only have me doing test support. Should i be concerned? Or is this a regular thing?4
A place where you can evolve your skills, competitive and that you're respected.
And NO FREAKING CLUELESS PROJECT MANAGERS that do not understand how software is "born" and expect you to catch insane deadlines...
So I've recently got into college after programming for years by myself like many guys here, the thing is I was expecting to find some guys like me so maybe we could start some project or something like that but oh boy, freshman software engineer students are the "best": Don't give a fuck about coding. Most of them are gamers who think that just because they're gamers they can make a videogame (hahaha) and the worst part is that the only student of them who already have a lot of experience in programming is so fucking arrogant and annoying that I'd rather change majors before doing a project with him.
There are two other guys who are also really interested in programming and one of them already have quite a lot of experience too but they're on different majors...
College being disappointment since the first month: Check3
Another parents' story
Father was calculating how much fuel he needs then looked at me and said: "is that correct?"2
No, friends and family, just because I code doesn't mean I'm a software engineer, or "in IT" and no, websites don't resize themselves to fit mobile devices with fekin magic, that's what we do as web devs, we MAKE that magic
When I have started working as engineer, coworkers addressed to me as a programmer or software developer. It was irritating since I am an electrical engineering and those days I didn't have much respect for computer science. Nowadays I know how hard is this field, since I have to define and code my soft, and I am proud if someone call me software developer or programmer
So I’m thinking about buying my very first MacBook but I can’t decide which one to get. Im between the 2017 MacBook Air 256Gb or a 2015 MacBook Pro 128Gb. I’m afraid that if I don’t get 256Gb it won’t be enough for college and work. Just a little background for you guys, I’m a software engineer student and also an iOS/RoR intern at a software development company.
Please help me decide which one to get!12
Complete my Clojure POC and do a knowledge sharing session in work on Functional Programming. Also get promoted to Senior Software Engineer.
Going to have to say the obvious.
Without Linux I probably never would have discovered an free gnu operating system. It has really changed my life and how I do computing. As a software engineer especially it has opened way more doors and possibilities I don't think I would have gotten if I stayed on windows.
People at my home come to me every time they forget the passwords for their emails with no recovery options set and then ask me to recover their password. When I say I can't, I hear the taunt “what's the point of being a software engineer when you can't recover a password" :[
So a while back I added my email as recovery option to everyone's email. Life is good now.2
deploying the apps in production...
Devs: i'm confident enough that i can do this. Docker? wtf, i know how to do it.
after successfully deploy in production, 30 minutes later...
Devs: Hey, team lead. I can't access the DB, why?
Team Lead: what? why? what did you do?
Devs: I just successfully deploy in production using the tutum interface deploy button.
Team Lead: Did you uncheck to deploy the DB again?
Devs: Thinking.... hmmmmm No?
Team Lead: Opppsss, that's good. We can't eat our lunch until we fix it. We need to deploy the db back-up again.
Devs: Did I delete the db?
Team Lead: No? probably not you? LOL's
Devs: But who?
Team Lead: It's tutum but it's your mistake to unchecked to redeploy the db before you deploy the apps :D
DevOps / Software Engineer => IT
How to tell if someone is a software/hardware engineer with real talent or an incompetent tool:
[Walk up to person] whatcha doing there? You do any development or just playing around?
include namespace #meme
//My syntax is gonna be bad since I can only read (not write in any way) C type languages and still need to learn Go and Python. I just do hardware and implementation for infosec things right now
If(answer) is "I code a bunch. If you need any programming, I'm your guy;"
cout "tool" ;
If(answer) is "Hell if I know. Watch the terminal output while I pour another espresso and tell me if anything weird happens;"
cout "dev" ;
I'm a software developer, but I'm finding myself more interested bio and electro-mechanical engineering. And to top it off, I'd most like to be a bio-mechanical engineer — which is very different from the other two previous mentions. ...But, I'm well paid now, my last retail start-up failed, and money talks. For now my fogponic ecosystem (fish + biofilter + fog + plants) in my backyard will have to suffice. Now I'm actually interested in waste recycling...
Yeah... I get bored while waiting for parts to come from China. Can never have too many hobbies.
Anyways AMA, if you like. It can be about robots, fish, plants, IoT, apps, web, solar power, 3D printing, VR... You name it!
me: damn, that interview went so bad. this company will not offer me the job.
*1 month later
got the job offer as software engineer from the company.
should i accept it?lol1
During my recent interview I was explaining what I liked about the company, going in to detail about how I respected the CIO as he, as a software engineer, ran his ops teams like he runs a development team.
When I got home I realized my story wasn't about the CIO of the company but about Benjamin Treynor Sloss, VP Google Engineering, founder of Google SRE.
I had been reading the Google SRE book the night before and completely mixed up my stories!
I wonder if it was in part why I didn't get the job...1
Real question, not troll. There is debate about it and I really can't figure it out.
Besides having the title software "engineer," is there really such a thing as a software engineer?
In the US, to be an engineer you have to be regularly tested by a regulated governing body, apprentice under another engineer for years, and be certified on a state level. Whereupon you are personally liable for your designs being FREE from errors.
For one thing, nobody can write bug free code, and the idea of being personally responsible for each bug is terrifying.
And two, I've seen news of people calling themselves software engineers in the USA and Canada and getting a cease and desist or sued for it, despite any level of qualification.
I'm sure there are engineers, especially electrical, computer engineers who also program.
I don't know, I can't say either way.
That's why I'm asking.9
A previous rant made me start doubting my choices.
I just graduated from college (but college here is probably not what you call college. You choose whether you do one more year and gain the 'x technician' certificate or you do two years and get the 'practical engineer' degree)
Hope you understand it.
Anyway, so I continued 1 year (I skipped 1 year so it's like I did the whole two years) and I have a practical engineer degree in electronics.
I love programming and really want to work in the field but (since I know nothing about the market) I don't even know if I'll get a job without going to university and getting a degree (which I want to get, I want to learn Software Engineering though, not CS)
So now to my question, do you guys truly think getting a degree will be a waste of my time?
tl;dr I want to get a Software Engineer degree, but a lot of posts say it's a waste of time. Who agrees and who doesn't?8
I am the only engineer in my company, we develop and sell software solutions to a niece market.
In 1 year and a half i developed software for Android, IOS, Windows Desktop, web applications and an IoT solution........... My code has not a single line of comment....2
Does any one work or live at Brno (Czech Republic)? I just got a job there and the pay is good. I'll be relocating.1
So I started work as a software developer during college, and the people there were really nice to me and endured my constant absence from work because of college stuff.
Now that I graduated, I got an offer as a software engineer for 1.5 times the salary I currently have.
Should I take this job and forget what the people at my current work did for me?4
Software engineer placement interview.
Me: if you where to technologically enhance a car for a manufacturer what tech would you use and why.
Candidate: a bath tub.
Today talking with a schoolmate about an optional VS/CGI course at the university, he goes like "Why do we need to know everything about X and Y?", yeah well this means being a Software Engineer darling... what did you expect?
Not sure if it's a rant but...
Less than a year as a professional software engineer and I'm at a small shop, like less than 10 of us.
I'm getting an overwhelming urge to break down these large methods we use into smaller more reasoned out methods we can just call.
Is this me being a n00b and trying to do things "right" or am I just trying to follow some best practices that have been overlooked?1
I saw a thing on the Workplace stack exchange site. This college kid with no in industry experience read the false narrative that "pitting your testers against your developers for bonus money encourages better productivity and bug free code". And thought it sounded good on paper. This worries me in many ways (especially since he wants to make a startup). The first being that he couldn't see how both sides would game the hell out of such a system, which I feel any worthwhile engineer types would easily figure out. The second is seeing money as the major motivating force behind software devs doing their jobs. I had a third but I am tired.
But seriously, who is still writing this bullshit (that article, not the kid's question) in 2016?
When a DevOps engineer finds a fault with memory leaks on the application/software that crashes services and management responds with "Lets Scale The Application".5
I am now on my official first job as a software engineer.
What do you guys do as consultants?
I also defended my MSc last week.
TSA questions for screening software engineers: Sunday an engineer from Nigeria got screened on if they were really a coder with googled questions like "write a function to check if a Binary Search Tree is balanced." What questions should they really be asking?8
There's this depressing and slightly awkward moment when you're a professional software engineer, Google puts up a KIDS in code doodle/coding challenge and you can't work out how to solve the last puzzle in optimal moves...
One of my team has been handed a turd of a laptop which because of corporate policies, has to be fixed rather than replaced. Started of with a noisy fan 2 months ago, led to a warning on the hd. Hd got replaced, but machine was then blue screening. Motherboard was replaced then they discovered it was software and then there was no sound. Today, another engineer appeared to fix the sound and found previous engineer hadn't connected the cable. Whilst doing that, they killed the hard drive....5
Does anyone have or know of someone that has a software engineer job where they program exclusively from a linux machine? As in they don't use windows or mac.
I'm mostly curious if this even exists or if I'm just wishing for unicorns.
I mean actual full time too, not contractors or free lancers.14
BossMan asks me to set up meeting with head engineer tomorrow about integrating 3rd party software. He thinks it bada bing bada boom and the software will get be implemented but I know better he doesn't even know what one of there many products he wants. How do I not embarrass myself in front if the head engineer? I am a full stack student and hope one day to work for this company in a dev role. What should I do?1
It's really annoying when u focusing on one task, and everything is planned and scheduled properly. And then Ur boss come in and assign u another task again, endless side project.1
Hello, I am software engineer student and I am still learning but I would like to start a project to help a friend. The idea is to create a simple DB to manage stock of products, generate a few barcodes and have a few other simple things... btw the program needs to run on a small usb drive... yeah no server or anything.... but has do be like this for now. I was thinking about creating a QT interface for him to interact with the DB (sqlite3, is for a small shop), and for the extra functionalities. However I remembered of you guys and would like to ask for advice :) (I know there are free solutions for his needs, but I wanted to take the opportunity to learn more C++ and improve myself as a developer)5
I been casually looking for a new job as a senior software engineer. I have about 7 years of experience, mainly back end, and it seems like everyone has a different way of doing technical interviews. What type of questions would you expect to be asked? I've gotten everything thing from white board code and solutions (expected), technical questions (expected), to code an API from scratch (not hard, but not really a good judge of skills). How do you identify whether a job is a sweatshop vs. a good job?2
"All Tech Projects Run Over Budget"
I was on a nice streak of being calm for a while and then this article just dropped today. Fuck management and fuck whichever dumbass wrote this piece of shit.
Is anyone else pissed off at this? It makes it sound like software engineers are slow and never on time, and the main reason for a project's failure is the inability of programmers to meet deadlines. I find this a little sus, especially as it's written by someone in a management position.
I would argue that projects fail because:
1. Management takes the very feasible timeline given to them and throws it out the window, opting to impose impossible deadlines instead, because FUCK your employees right?
2. Clients have requirements that can't be met (I agree w/ this from the article, but not the part about developers not accounting for issues--I always do this and everyone I know does this)
3. Technical Debt arising from when management tells the software engineers to *just do it this way because it's cheaper*
The calculator they made is nice but it's also quoting estimates that I and everyone I've spoken to agree with, so this is clearly not a software engineer problem, it's a fucking management problem. "Budget" = accounting's job.
That being said, the "take their quote and triple it" part had me dead...1
What's the best laptop for coding and programming. Especially for software engineering, fullstack development and making android apps etc. I want it to be able to develop anything on it apps games websites etc. Suggest a budget model and a price doesn't matter but still realistic model.6
Got scouted by an agent for a educational institute. The position I am scouted for is a full-stack engineer. This will be my first interview, scheduled for next friday. The only working experience I've had is working on software development projects during my studies. I want the job since it pays well and they will help me relocate but I'm super nervous.
Answering non techie people what my job is. I could say I'm a software engineer, and they would understand because it has the word "engineer". But i prefer to introduce myself as a developer but they give me a confused look.
I think engineer is an overused term and i hate that term, for me, connected to typical asian patents who forces their kids to be an engineer or doctor.
A friend of mine offered me a Job as a Senior Software engineer in Damascus "on the peace site" Whhhhaaatt the fuck.
Yeah no Thanks... Maybe next time.
I'm trying to pick up game development as a hobby (im already a full stack software engineer) and ive decided to either do lua with roblox or java with minecraft. im going to start out doing mods and building on top of already existant systems and then venture further if i like it. which do you think i should do? lua or java?7
Anyone here a software engineer? What kind of stuff do you usually do?
I'm a full stack dev right now, but I'm studying se, and I'm curious about what I could be doing in the future.2
Hi fellow DevRanters! I've been studying software engineering for a while now and, while I love programming, I'm starting to think that all I'll be doing as a software engineer now a days is pulling data from a database, sticking it in a nice gui with some buttons and moving on to the next, similar, project. At the same time I am loving linux more and more, I love working with bash and other unix-like tools and I am interested in systems languages like C and Rust. It is for these reasons that I am playing with the idea of switching to Systems and network engineering. What are your thoughts on this? Is Systems and network engineering a field in which I get to program a lot? Will there be more variation in it? Is my view of software engineering completely off? Please share your thoughts and opinions!2
When in my 10th standard I was first introduced to java, that is the moment I knew I was going to be a software engineer (didnt knew what dev is at that time :p )
People's opinions requested. What is the difference between a 'software engineer' and a 'software developer'?4
In my pursuit to land a fucking job (now a junior software engineer) I pretty much abandoned web dev for getting my head wrapped around Java as best as possible.
Now that I'm about 6 months in at the gig I'm thinking about looking to take on clients for web, mobile development in my spare time.
So far I've been trying to catch up on React and Node, anyone else more well versed in web stuff have suggestions of topics/material?
I'm a senior computer science student at a big ten university graduating in December. I'm thrilled to have been offered a full time software engineer 1 position on a QA team. I just wanted to ask, I ultimately want to be a software dev, would taking this QA position make that more difficult in any way? Or is it a great place to start? Because it is a software engineer position, but not directly doing software development.
Thanks for your input!3
Alright so I have a question, hopefully this is the right platform to ask. As an entry level software developer I have trouble knowing my value. So I was wondering what an entry level developer is expected to do on their first job straight out of college. What responsibilities do they or should they have. And what kind of work are they expected to do? For example should they be building applications from start to finish or more smaller tasked work or bug fixes. Thoughts?3
Hi everyone, I'm just a bit worried with my future status, I'm currently a Software Engineer here in my home country, I will be going to New Zealand sometime this March. I have a reason why I'm moving to NZ but do you think I can get a Software Engineer job there? I'm 20 and been exposed by my Australian experience (I'm not from Australia btw) from Angular and PHP. I've been trained by my Seniors top notch that they're letting me deploy to-live our largest websites.
Do you think I'll be able to find one or I'll be settling with convenience store related jobs there?
The one week guide to asserting workplace dominance as a software engineer.
Plz help ... what is the difference between software developer and software engineer? ( example of jobs for both )7
I'm curious about where have you learned coding? I had learned Java most of my life, in a university course since the age of 15. It was a special programming course for high school students and out of 6000 students who applied I was one of the lucky 50 that got in after 3 huge tests in logical thinking and math. This was the path I took to have this job now as a full time software engineer. I'm interested to know how all of you guys learned programming and when have you started. Feel free to tell about apps or programs you use as I'd like to further increase my knowledge in other languages too ☺4
Will someone post a list of everything I should learn and in order.
I want to be a software engineer. I'm learning android app development now. And I'm a complete beginner. I also want to be a full stack developer. Also what's the difference between software engineer and developer? Which languages should I learn?6
As a part of the university, I have to get an internship for 20 weeks. I wondered if anyone had an idea for a type of company (not a specific one) that would be fun to try out?
I’m studying as a software engineer. I have a lot of experience programming, so I figured I’d like to try out a different kind of company, I don’t know what type though. I want to enhance my experiences as an engineer. That is not necessarily as a programmer (though it could be by programming), but I want to probably work among multiple kinds of engineers or something.
I don’t know, I just figured that some here had an idea to something that isn’t the most obvious choice.
The country isn’t relevant since I don’t ask for a specific company, but it might be relevant to mention that I live in Europe.5
I started a company with a few other guys 2 years ago and we're finally about to have the money to hire more people. However, I'm the only software engineer and I have no idea how to find the right candidates or how to give interviews. Has anyone here hired before, where do I start?4
What are some cool titles/position I can put on a my business card? It's kinda lame if I just put Software Engineer there. Lol12
I want a new title! I'm currently a senior front-end engineer but often help with ux, project management, and requirements engineering. What title would fit this description? I also have an MS in Software Engineering if that matters.6
Software Engineer in a small firm vs Technical Support Engineer in quite a popular big firm.
Btw I love development. What should I choose and what should be my thought process?4
I know you think you understand what I said , but what you don't understand is what I said is not what i mean😵😵😵😵1
So last summer I got a job as a software engineer. It went great for a while, and it came time to go back to school. I'm a senior in high school, and the Sterling Scholar for computer technology, plus I'm in charge of my high schools website. It's getting pretty hard to balance this all out, and I've been considering pausing work until school is finished. What do you guys think? 😐1
Hey all! I'm gonna be graduating soon from grad school and I'm starting to realize that I have no idea what I wanna do with my programming career!
I currently work as QA but have been really working towards being a programmer but the only problem is that I really dislike web applications ... specifically front end.
With most jobs being full stack web apps, I feel like I'm really gonna be limiting myself once I'm applying for junior software engineering jobs.
I'm just wanting your thoughts and some advice on what I should do since in still trying to figure things out. The only goal I have in life for my career at the moment is to be a software engineer.5
Typically every computer science major begins with either C C# C++ java or python , creating so much abstraction from the hardware which just loads your mind with questions that remain unanswered.When ever i program something i always think of how the under lying stuff is working.They never explain how and where software meets the hardware.Why are they keeping students away from the hardware. I think a cs graduate without knowing the underpinning of a computer should not be considered a cs graduate as opposed to being a software engineer a computer science major relates to everything that is a computer that includes the theoretical stuff and a little bit know how of computer hardware. Instead of teaching this stuff and assembly as a language in the first semester they teach you java or C++. Could not speculate on why this is so.11
Im working as a software testing engineer with 2years of experience, I want to change my domain...I have some options infront of me..like Data Science, SAP HANA, Android app development, Full stack developer..I'm at intermediate level in java programming...please guide me to pick one from them
what position can i put on my business card aside from software engineer? software engineer is a boring title. lol4
So the restaurant I work for get interns to "revamp" the employee website (says so right on the page). The site didnt work the first couple days they had it up. Then it was fine for a week. Now everyone is getting a 404. I had thought about working as a software engineer for home office, but now Im not sure I want to since they cant even get a website working correctly for more than a week.