"Turn it off and on again."

Great for Wi-Fi routers and office appliances.

Life support, not so much.

Being an introvert I don't like to show off but it's been around 7 months I am doing internship (3 so far) and didn't tell anyone about this.
In class every faculty thinks I am stupid because I spent more time in work rather than on my college materials. Due to which other guys get recognised who are good with college studies and I am always left behind.

I really hate this feeling when you work so hard and there is no one to tell about my achievements.

Was looking into a project by some other intern... Found this

Just hit 500, exactly at my birthday!

DevRant is the most amazing community I've used to belong to. You guys are awesome!

Interview with a candidate. He calls himself "C++ expert" on his resume. I think: "oh, great, I love C++ too, we will have an interesting conversation!"

Me: let's start with an easy one, what is 'nullptr'?
Him: (...some undecipherable sequence of words that didn't make any sense...)

In my mind: mh, probably I didn't understand right. Let's try again with something simple and more generic

Me: can you tell me about memory management in C++?
Him: you create objects on the stack with the 'new' keyword and they get automatically released when no other object references them

In my mind: wtf is this guy talking about? Is he confusing C++ with Java? Does he really know C++? Let's make him write some code, just to be sure

Me: can you write a program that prints numbers from 1 to 10?

Ten minutes and twenty mistakes later...

Me: okay, so what is this <int> here in angle brackets? What is a template?
Him: no idea

Me: you wrote 'cout', why sometimes do I see 'std::cout' instead? What is 'std'?
Answer: no idea, never heard of 'std'

I think: on his resume he also said he is a Java expert. Let's see if he knows the difference between the two. He *must* have noticed that one is byte-compiled and the other one is compiled to native code! Otherwise, how does he run his code? He must answer this question correctly:

Me: what is the difference between Java and C++? One has a Virtual Machine, what about the other?
Him: Java has the Java Virtual Machine
Me: yes, and C++?
Him: I guess C++ has a virtual machine too. The C++ Virtual Machine

Me (exhausted): okay, I don't have any other questions, we will let you know

And this is the story of how I got scared of interviews

Once in college I was walking around campus when I noticed that one of the classes were still teaching Fortran to their students as an introductory programming language.

Day 2 of debugging: I have more bugs now than I originally started with

Every computer programmer. :)

Roommate's boyfriend visits just to work because his laptop can't connect via WiFi anymore.

Described the problem and fix attempts yesterday, he got two other tech savvy people involved, now suspects hardware problem.

I needed <1m to re-activate the WiFi adapter, now I'm seen as the local tech God as I deserve.

I was newly hired to company. A customer came in yelling saying "there's a bug, this should do this but it's doing that..."
PM came to me and told me to "urgently fix this as this is an important customer".

So I started debugging for hours and asking around and all follow devs agreed that this is a bug. Then I found it!! And it was clear that it was not doing what the customer wanted.

I decided to look through this code history and found out that this part of the code wasn't changed for a year but the code commited before it did actually what the customer was expecting (whaaaa....)

Gathered the devs and the PM showing them what I found. They all looked at each other and then one said "ouuhhh right...yes it was doing this but we changed it to that..."

Turns out it's a feature not a bug, and everyone forgot about it.

FML

Management: "We have a Team Building session next week"
Colleague A: "Paintballing"
Colleague B: "Go-Karting"
On the day: "Welcome. Today we will be playing an IT Helpdesk Role Playing Game"

Kill me.

Baaaahhhhh!!! I just stepped on my UPS power button and killed my machine after spending considerable time working out the plan for a new tool to add to our system.

I’m not going to “automate” us out of a job ! *eye roll* We just shouldn’t be doing things a computer can do AND do faster/more accurately!

After CR. Seen a function called "initConfig", with another version of it commented out.
I said in the CR - delete the commented function out.

In response, the developer said that it is needed. The commented version is for local run, while the other is for production.

After a lovely argument about cancer in our Code-base, the project manager concluded that we don't have time to do it better, and basically forced me to basically accept.

I hate being sane sometimes.

“This should be super quick.” - product manager

Them: Why are you asking me? I didn't write it.

Me: git blame says otherwise

Recruiter: Why you choose this company to work with?

Me: I didn't choose it, I have other interviews.

Recruiter: So why we should hire you?

Me: So I can pay my bills.

- Promote source control usage especially in group projects
- Teach clean code principles
- Push for commented code in exercises