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Search - "tech support"
*computer fell, broken in pieces*
Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?
Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,
Me: no, no I just-
Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?
Me: umm… no, look I'm just -
Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir
Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-
Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?
Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -
Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8
Me: no just check my-
Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-
Every single time I visit my family during holidays they expect one to fix their computer/smartphone/printer/whateverFuckingShittyIOT-Device... Just printed them postcards this time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Also: Hello devRant! Just been reading here for a week and every single day was full of gold - Thanks :)13
"Turn it off and on again."
Great for Wi-Fi routers and office appliances.
Life support, not so much.10
It's depressing how true this is
Me: "Tech support, how can I help you?"
Them: " I'm not able to log into the website!"
Me: "Okay, what message is it showing when you try to log in?"
Them: "Sir, I am NOT a computer person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know which web browser you're using?"
Them: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you want to go on the internet, do you click on a blue E, or a mulicolored circle, or..."
Them: "SIR I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO THELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"12
First time meeting girlfriends grandparents.
👴👵: So what do you do?
😎: I'm a software engineer ... So computers and stuff.
👴: Oh, can you have a look at my phone? There's that weird icon I don't understand ...
So within five minutes, I was their tech support. It was an icon for Android Nearby, btw and I didn't have an explanation ready.
That happened five more times this evening.19
// family tech support
Dad: *clicks something*
Dad: *something strange happens*
Dad: Hey son, come over here. What happened?
Son: Hm.. what did u click?
Dad: I don't know. Aren't you supposed to know that? You're our computer genius.7
Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.
Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.
Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.
Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.
Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?
Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.
Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!
Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.
Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.
So my Girlfriend bought a new iPhone at Verizon today. Cool story, I know, but here's where it's gone from there.
Firstly her debit wouldn't run as credit, so we used mine but that's the least of it (but began it).
So she has 16,000 photos... Alot, sure, but not the issue. Obviously with that amount of data she wasn't about to reasonably use iCloud to back it up (understandable only by me) so she was confronted both by me and the Verizon employee about this issue to where we both (the Verizon employee and I) agreed that an iTunes backup/restore was the only way to preserve her data. She was confused. No worry, told her I had it handled and the Verizon employee agreed. Great. Yet we get home and begin the process. My girlfriend was not on the latest iOS (understandable given the battery scenario and she was on an iPhone 6) and this was ridiculous to her because she had to update in order to do the iTunes back up. Whatever, I brushed it off. Her phone was updated, and backed up... Which took a while but we are talking 30gb (of which she had no understanding of how much that was). After the back up we discovered her new phone wasn't working due to a bad sim, great, no problem we have the old one... But oh no. "I don't want that shitty old sim" she said. Uhmm what... I say, and say let me get an earring (to switch the Sims) and she gave one to me and as soon as I went to pop the tray, she had a fucking heart attack as if I was demolishing her phone. I talk her down, get it switched, get the phone to restore (slow process as she's complaining... 30gb mind you) and it works. She goes to bed. Comes back, texts aren't working. I say imessages or texts (now she has no idea) I troubleshoot, seems nothing's working, and that's okay Verizon must of reinstated the new sim and deactivated the old (fine). I switch them and it works. She proceeds to berate me about the SIM cards because she didn't want the 'old shitty one' (the one that got us to the place of a functioning phone).
Now everything works and she claims a Genius bar employee would of done this in minutes.
I (obviously) lose my shit, now I'm sleeping on the couch.
Im an IT professional / programmer..... this shit really ticked me off.38
Cleaning lady just asked me what OS I use. "Well, Linux" I replied. Oh, she said, I'll ask my husband if he knows about it. He's also good with computers (probably tech support chap or something like that).
I figured that she might not remember the name "Linux", so I thought about writing it down. But it was so hard to resist the thought of instead writing down "btw I use Arch Linux"! 😆15
My dad: Hey Sébastien, I think my computer has a problem, can you look my computer ?
*walks in front of the computer*
*looks at the screen*
My dad: But, you don't fix it ?
Me: Nope, you just asked me to 'see' your computer
A few days ago a friend of mine rang me up complaining about internet issues with his computer. As usual I did the "is it plugged in, turn it off then on again" sort of thing to waste time while my pasta was cooking. After a while he asked if I had another bogus solution, so I suggested flushing his toilet.
He runs off, I hear the flush, comes back and viola - it fucking worked.
The point of this is: if it don't work, flush the toilet. You're welcome, tech support out ✌️11
So I visited my aunt's house a few days back.
They heard I write code (read: Google and copy-paste from Stack Overflow), and wanted me to help repair their computers.
Saw my cousin playing Battlefield 4 at sub-20 fps with a GTX 750 Ti on the lowest settings. His fucking CPU fan was bust, and judging by the amount of dust in his system, I literally thought he was cramming dust in there on purpose.
After a heavy dusting, another stick of RAM (4GB -> 12GB), a new heatsink (CoolerMaster T400i), and a fresh copy of Windows 10 (along with Office, etc.), he could play games at 60+ fps again.
What do I get? Not even a fucking thank you. Just a "you done yet? I want to play video games."
I mean... Gee. Your cousin flew all the way to a new continent, spent his precious vacation time helping you out, and all he gets is a cold-ass shoulder.
Even my fucking ex gave me more than that.17
Tech support to my friend:
Friend: Root my phone!
Friend: play store is not working
Me: why do u want to root for that?
Friend: is there any other option?
Me: give me ur phone
After 20 sec ...
Me: Sign in to ur Google account 😐😐3
*calls grandpa I don't usually talk to that much to congratulate him for his birthday*
*grandpa picks up*
Him: so, I know that you study CS and I was working on something [Word document at the moment] and my letters keep getting different sizes! Sometimes they're small, sometimes they're big, sometimes they're in between! I have to erase everything everytime because they just get messed up every time!
Me *sighing, but confused because upper-case and lower-case are the same with "big letters" and "small letters", respectively, in my native language: have you checked Caps Lock on your keyboard?
Him: What is that? I have Esc, 1, 2, 3,... (proceeds to read me the keys on the keyboard)
*explains where caps lock is*
Him *gets angry*: no, you don't understand, sometimes they're small, sometimes they're big and sometimes in between! Caps Lock doesn't solve it! *proceeds to read the keys from the keyboard again*
*thinking that maybe it's the font then, asks about the Word version, to know what to point him to*
Him: WHAT? Word? No! I'm using my keyboard! What don't you understand! I explain to you and you have no idea!
Me: well, I'd need then maybe to see the screen
Him: I'm so angry with you, you say you study so much but are not even able to help me with such a small problem. I'll just find someone else. Thanks for your wishes *hangs up*
And this is how I only tried to congratulate my grandfather for his birthday but turned into a "failing" tech support. I just wanted to be a good granddaughter16
I’m the tech support of my family and I’m proud! 😎
I only hate it if other people treat me like their personal tech support11
Me: "My PC is sad what should i do? "
Tech-Support: "what do you mean your PC is sad"
i wonder whose(developer) idea was it to put just smiley instead of meaningfull error...11
No, I don't know why your keyboard isn't working. I'm a web developer. Have you tried turning it off and on again?2
New devRant Cartoon! (https://youtube.com/watch/...) Touches on the "fun" that is family tech support. I think some of you can relate... This one is inspired by a rant by DotM (https://www.devrant.io/rants/326625). Enjoy!10
This customer comes in and practically throws a computer on the counter.
Customer: This computer isn't working. I've ran the diagnostics and it says it's software. *places a dvd case with a 32 bit Windows 7 disk in it on the counter* It had Windows 10 on it, but I want Windows 7 on it.
Me: Well, you may have issues with the drivers if you put Windows 7 on it--
Customer: I don't care, I just want Windows 7.
Me: You SHOULD care. That means no wifi, no display, no mouse... Windows 7 doesn't like Windows 10 hardware.
Customer: Then... check to see Windows 7 compatibility!
Me: Alright.... *makes notes to check for Windows 7 compatibility*
Me: So has this Windows 7 been used before?
Customer: Yes, it has.
Me: On how many computers?
Customer: I've installed it on two computers and it works just fine.
Me: That's weird because Windows license keys are for one computer only. Are both of them connected to the internet?
Me: Well, okay then... *finishes up ticket*
Customer: I work in this field and I just don't understand why they don't come with the disks anymore. How much is a Windows 10 disk?
Me: *gives price*
Customer: And do you have any?
Me: Let me check *I go to where they are, find some and come back out*
Me: Unfortunately we're out at the moment and would have to special order some back in.
Customer: OK. So then how much to fix this computer?
Me: *price of installing Windows and backing up data*
Customer: That's halfway to the price of a new one of these!
Me: Well yes, an HP at Walmart... But you do have that option if you want to take it.
Customer: Well, why does it cost that much?
Me: Well, it's $labor1 to install Windows, $labor2 to do some basic setup and drivers, and $labor3 to backup and restore data.
Customer: Oh, well I don't want data.
Me: Okay, well then it would be $total - $labor3
Customer: ...Okay, fine
Me: *updates the ticket*
When she finally left I put it on the bench and the first message said "SMART ERROR." I then did 4 different tests that said "lol, the hard drive is failing."
If you "worked in this field," you would know that a SMART error is hard drive related.
If you worked in this field, you would know that Windows is only a 1PC license, so why are you lying about installing it with no issues on other computers?
If you worked in this field, you would know you would want a 64bit Windows on your computer.
If you worked in this field, you would know how to find a Windows 10 installation media online.
If you worked in this field, you would know that HPs are not good computers to get.
IF YOU FUCKING WORKED IN THIS FIELD YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT.17
My ISP advertises themselves as IT-nerds. I once contacted the support, not tech support, just the usual support. I wanted to use my own router instead of theirs, and the supporter actually knew how I should configure my vlan and a lot of other technical stuff.
Why aren’t all ISP’s like mine?8
The Orange Juice Saga ....
I've just come off one of the stupidest calls ever.
Firstly, I am not in tech support, I'm a software developer - read the below with this in mind.
My client called up to say the system I created as been compromised. When he attempts to login, he is logged off his Windows machine.
He'd also apparently taken his PC to ***insert large UK computer superstore here***, who took £100 plus to look at the machine and conclude his needs to buy a new PC.
I remoted into his computer to see WTF was going on.
As he described, visiting my login form did log you out. In fact, whenever you pressed the "L" key you were logged out. Press the "M" key, all windows were minimized. Basically, all Windows hotkeys appeared to be active, without the need to press the Windows key.
Whilst connected to his PC I spent a good 30 minutes checking keyboard settings and came up short.
After asking all the normal questions (has anything changed on your PC, have you installed stuff lately etc.) without any useful answers I got nothing.
I then came across an article stating several presses of the Windows in quick succession will solve the issue.
I got the client to try this, pressed the "L" key (which would have logged me off previously) and the issue was resolved.
Basically, the Windows key was "stuck", which oddly makes your PC kind of useless.
I asked the client if they'd split anything on the keyword whilst working. His exact word were simply lol:
"Oh yer, yesterday, I was trying to drink a glass of orange quickly and split some in the corner of keyboard. I did clean it up quickly though".
Yep, the issue was due to the client spilling orange juice on their keyboard , which in turn made the Windows key stick.
A call that started with the client stating I made a system that was easily compromised (i.e. my fault), morphed into a sorry saga of cold drinks.
The client did ask why the ***superstore name*** charged him money for that and recommended a new machine. That is a good question and demonstrated some the questionable tech support practices we see nowadays, even at very large stores.
To be fair to the client, he told me to bill him for half a days work as it was his own fault.
When I'm able to stop myself involuntarily face palming, I'm off for a swim to unwind :)7
I actually talked to my duck. He solved my Server 500 error which said "java.lang.NoSuchFieldError: logger". I had to purge the build .class files and recompile the application and low and behold it runs.
Why is my duck a better debugger than most actual debuggers? He didn't even go to college!11
As i see a ton of people complaining here about family related tech stuff. I guess i should introduce everyone to this guy.
I don't meme a lot but this one really hits close to home for me.
Family reunion weekend. I'm just wondering for how long this will stay a 'family reunion weekend' before it turns into a 'first person tech support weekend'5
I have replied to them with scripts, curl commands, and Swagger docs (PROVIDED TO SUPPORT THEIR API), everything that could possibly indicate there's a bug. Regardless, they refuse to escalate me to level 1 support because "We cant reproduce the issue in a dev environment"
Well of course you can't reproduce it in a dev environment otherwise you'd have caught this in your unit tests. We have a genuine issue on our hands and you couldnt give less of a shit about it, or even understand less than half of it. I literally gave them a script to use and they replied back with this:
"I cannot replicate the error, but for a resource ID that doesnt exist it throws an HTTP 500 error"
YOUR APP... throws a 500... for a resource NOT FOUND?????????!!!!!!!!!! That is the exact OPPOSITE of spec, in fact some might call it a MISUSE OF RESTFUL APIs... maybe even HTTP PROTOCOL ITSELF.
I'm done with IBM, I'm done with their support, I'm done with their product, and I'm DONE playing TELEPHONE with FIRST TIER SUPPORT while we pay $250,000/year for SHITTY, UNRELENTING RAPE OF MY INTELLECT.12
Roommate's boyfriend visits just to work because his laptop can't connect via WiFi anymore.
Described the problem and fix attempts yesterday, he got two other tech savvy people involved, now suspects hardware problem.
I needed <1m to re-activate the WiFi adapter, now I'm seen as the local tech God as I deserve.3
Other guy: Hello! I need your help! I don't have my password for my gmail ! Help!
Me: Okay, ... (proceed to guide him where to recover the passwords), Now enter you email in.
Other guy: Well i don't remember it either, Help me get my email.
Actual rant time. And oh boy, is it pissy.
If you've read my posts, you've caught glimpses of this struggle. And it's come to quite a head.
First off, let it be known that WINDOWS Boot Manager ate GRUB, not the other way around. Windows was the instigator here. And when I reinstalled GRUB, Windows threw a tantrum and won't boot anymore. I went through every obvious fix, everything tech support would ever think of, before I called them. I just got this laptop this week, so it must be in warranty, right? Wrong. The reseller only accepts it unopened, and the manufacturer only covers hardware issues. I found this after screaming past a pretty idiotic 'customer representative' ("Thank you for answering basic questions. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for repeating obvious information I didn't catch the first three times you said it. Thank you for letting me follow my script." For real. Are you tech support, or emotional support? You sound like a middle school counselor.) to an xkcd-shibboleth type 'advanced support'. All of this only to be told, "No, you can't fix it yourself, because we won't give you the license key YOU already bought with the computer." And we already know there's no way Microsoft is going to swoop in and save the day. It's their product that's so faulty in the first place. (Debian is perfectly fine.)
So I found a hidden partition with a single file called 'Image' and I'm currently researching how to reverse-engineer WIM and SWM files to basically replicate Dell's manufacturing process because they won't take it back even to do a simple factory reset and send it right back.
What the fuck, Dell.
As for you, Microsoft, you're going to make it so difficult to use your shit product that I have to choose between an arduous, dangerous, and likely illegal process to reclaim what I ALREADY BOUGHT, or just _not use_ a license key? (Which, there's no penalty for that.) Why am I going so far out of my way to legitimize myself to you, when you're probably selling backdoors and private data of mine anyway? Why do I owe you anything?
Oh, right. Because I couldn't get Fallout 3 to run in Wine. Because the game industry follows money, not common sense. Because you marketed upon idiocy and cheapness and won a global share.
Fuck you. Fuck everything. Gah.
VS Code is pretty good, though.20
Damn I hate when people ask me to stop coding just because Excel doesn't work or the Antivirus license expired, even worse my boss gets mad at me when I tell him that I'm a coder that we have tech support people, who apparently do nothing, to all the PMs and Lead Devs
Please stop telling me about the freaking deadline if you also ask me to install your stuff.
Sorry for the negativity, had to get it out12
A late rise up *check*
A good cup of tea *check*
A nice breakfast *check*
A rainy day today *check*
A bunch of time for reading
a book and playing with
python and elixir *check
Nobody seeks me for
tech support *check*
Did I die and go to heaven?3
Manager: We really need to save money with this project, so nobody call tech support for anything.
Me: There's this open-source solution that would work great.
Manager: Bad idea! There's no tech support number to call.
Some companies have images of their tech support personnel in their websites.
They show you Steve and Michael......but in reality you get Rajhit and Pakalu19
// family tech support
Dad: *Opens Microsoft Word*
Dad: *Writes stuff*
Dad: *Saves the file as "Doc1.docx" (every time)*
Dad: Son, where did I save my file? I can't find it.2
Don't apply for a job that you don't like. You're gonna hate your life.
Don't ask for a salary you know you're not worth.
Work in a tech company as much as possible. If you don't, you're gonna be treated as a powerpoint presentation expert, office installation expert, video editor/movie maker expert, IT support guy, loose plug/broken headset repairman, facebook hacker, and a dark magician all at once. Most (not all) tech companies know who you are better. They understand your needs better.7
I had to settle for a tech support job to pay my study loans. But a week later I got my first developer job in a big and reputed firm which pays well. This is almost like a dream come true.5
My boss asked me to do tech support today as one of tech support employee was not feeling well.
The very first call i attended, went like:
Me : Sir, this is xyz support desk. How may i help you?
*Listening his problem*
Me : Sir solution is pretty simple. Just do a Right click on application shortcut icon and then select "Open File Location".
Client : where can i find "Right Click"?2
So people need to learn how to use a car in a safe manner and without pissing off other users before they get a license and are allowed to actually use one in the real world.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish this also applied to computers.2
Friend brings over a Windows 8 all in one laptop.
Friend: Can you fix my laptop
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: I thought you worked with computers.
Me: I do... but I'm not tech support
Me: (reluctantly) Fine.
*many hours later after attempting to get the PC to boot from a USB. WHY DOES THIS PC NOT HAVE A KEY TO ENTER THE GOD DAMNED BOOT MENU AND HAS NO BOOT ORDER SELECTION?????!*
Friend: Have you fixed it?
Friend: You suck at computers
Never spoke to him again.8
Sometimes I feel I'm the live version of stack overflow for my family and friends...
Mom: The printer is acting up, how do I fix it?
Brother: I can't login to Netflix, help!
Grandparents: could you fix the radio/TV?
Gf: Apple can't validate my .uk mail
All to which I replied with the answer to life, the universe and everything...
FUCKING GOOGLE IT! Have you googled it?!
And the inevitable reply: no.
The only ones who get a free pass are my grandparents they were born in the 40's and think YouTube works on voodoo.7
Freaking tech support.
Their 'one-way interview' bs only supports flash. Flash. in production. in 2019. Flash died years ago, and its support ends next year. What the crap?
Anyway, I finally decided I should do the interview since they already have all of my information anyway. Thanks, "privacy-conscious" third party. Totally appreciate it.
I spent half an hour and couldn't get flash working on their site (but all other sites were fine), so I contacted their support. I gave them all the relevant specs (inc. ofc browser), the steps to reproduce, and all of my attempts at fixing the issue.
To their credit, I recieved a response within a few minutes. To their discredit: their response was: "What browser are you using?" This question was followed by my report (including, ofc, my browser and all the other overlooked details), immediately followed by a "debugging info" section appended by their support service that also included my browser, os, and other specs.
Learn to fucking read.
Their suggestion? Use google chrome. Barring that: record your 20-30 minute video by holding your phone in front of your face the entire time. I am so not kidding.
They also asked what page i was having difficulty on. You guessed it: the page url was also included within that "debugging info" section.
It wasn't a form letter, either. I'd understand if it was all automated, but it was a real person who was really typing up the emails, and really didn't bother reading a damned thing.
I did end up getting flash working, but their "tech support" (script-reader) was entirely useless.17
Tech support to family member:
Mom: "App just goes black after 30 seconds"
Me: "remove it and install again"
Me: "tap the icon and hold till icon wiggles"
Mom: "doesn't do anything"
Me: "did you tap and hold?"
Mom: "hold what?"
Me:"Tap and and don't pull your finger up"
Mom: "Nothing... oh wait, yes it jiggles"
Me: "lift finger, tap the x that appeared on the icon, follow instructions"
Mom: "ok did that so what do I do now?"
Mom: "ok it's deleted"
Me: "Go to app store, and search for the app. after you tap the appstore icon, in a moment or so you should see a magnifying glass icon with the word search, tap that"
Mom: "nope no magnifying glass"
Me: ggrrrrrrr "yes their is one"
Mom: "nope, it isn't their, I'M NOT STUPID YOU KNOW JUST BECAUSE I'M OLD!!! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THINK I'M SO STUPID? THERE IS NO MAGNIFYING GLASS!!!"
Me: Deep, deep deep breath to the point of bursting my lungs (which is the preferable outcome)
Me: "top right corner or bottom right corner"
Mom: silence.... a few crickets in the background then some giggles followed with "Oh yea, their it is "....
20 minute call. no hi, how are you, how's your day. Just hello, I have a problem, it's fixed, bye.
Sometimes, and I don't want to sound mean BUT I wish we could pick our family.....10
The link between one of the server units and our router has been disconnected and the sales dept. has gone completely offline,
Just because of this piece of crap:6
When you contact tech support just to find out he is in a boat.
Anyways if anyone is interested, devBanner is up again!
Create your banner at https://devbanner.center or https://devbanner.github.io/devBann...5
TLDR: First dinner with whole family, already 3 smartphones to "repair".
They buy cheap phones with just 8 GB of storage and then ask me to solve their issues with "insufficient space on the device" without removing pictures and videos because of course they are not aware of concepts like pc/cloud backup or using SD card as main saving location.
At least these phones are full of bloatware so I can easily disable something to gain enough storage to get rid of the notification (tricking them into believing that I solved all of their problems) while I set SD card as default and enlighten them about the wonders of Google Photo and its auto-clean function.
I'd really like to ignore them, but unfortunately that's the only kind of relationship I have with my relatives, I know that sucks but at least is something.
And I actually prefer to spend some minutes on someone else's phone than talk about politics or try to explain what exactly is my job and what I am studying 🙄6
I'm from the UK. My CS teacher took a dislike to me in junior high school, dissuading me from taking the classes I needed to take computer science at college. I ended up starting an economics major and then dropping out.
With the support of my family and friends I started over as a self taught as a developer.
I'm now a Tech Director in New York and love my job.5
Tech support: we need to install backup software on your laptops.
Devs: what for?
TS: to backup all your important files, like word docs, excels, etc.
Devs: we don't use those. everything is on git/confluence/etc
TS: my boss told me to install it everywhere, so I have to do it.
Devs: well just disable it. uses too much tam, disk time and such
So he installed it on each laptop separately, took half a day, then we just disabled it and proceeded with our tasks. Now we get a question every other week why nothing is being synced from our computers. "We paid for the system and we want you to use it".
Saw this on the interwebs. Left: customer. Right: employee.
The left one looks like a nice type of customer-person though.
I like to imagine that the employee-guy does not understand why the computer is not working, at which point the customer-person says: "Oh, I can fix that."5
Father: What is this? *hands me a box*
Me: 😯 *opens box*
The contents of the box: a white cube about an inch on each side, with a speaker on one side, a button on the other and three small holes.
Comes with a manual (square inch piece of plastic with a drawing) that shows you what the button does (turn it on, duh) and some indications as to what the various holes do.
Me: 😶 I have no clue... Maybe it's for taking calls? (though speaker mode does exist peeps)
Father: 😑What do you mean you don't know... Don't you know about stuff like this?
I love when my family assumes I am all knowing when it comes to anything running on electricity... Guys, just because I program I am not a psychic and am not better suited to fix your printer or fix your phone screens.12
So called my ISP because of slow internet
Me : Hey , slow connection
Him : Could you open up CMD
Me : I'm on linux
then the dude hangs up :/ another guy called later , I guess the tech support needed tech support , FML1
Okay, so I was helping an elderly woman with her laptop + internet today (with payment). Problem: Laptop connects to WiFi, shows internet connection, but you couldn't even go to google.com.
The router wasn't the issue as my phone worked on the same WiFi. After a lot of troubleshooting steps, I noticed that Windows forced IPV6 for all WiFi connections for some reason. The router doesn't even support IPV6... So I disabled it and everything started working again.
WHY THE FUCK DID WINDOWS NOT TRY TO LOOKUP A IPV4 ADDRESS IF THE IPV6 FAILS? BOTH WERE ENABLED! WHO AT THE FUCKING WINDOWS 10 DEVELOPMENT TEAM THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA?19
Tech support for Friend...
A friend ran down the hallway to my Appartement, I opened the door for him and asked him "What The Fuck... Is wrong with you?!" He was just coughing like...
My... Laptop.... Is... Slow...
When he then eventually came to the point where he could Breath normally again I asked him to login into his by then super with shitty software bloated PC... It was a mess... A Desktop full of Shit... only Shit... I
then opened Chrome and Task Manager...
and holy shit... EVERYTHING! Literally ANYTHING was under 100% Load... Yet his shitty Fans werent spinning up... Shutdown the Laptop and opened it... not to my surprise it was full of Dust... I cleaned it and booted it again... still 100% Load... I couldnt do shit without being bombarded with porn and Hentai Ads... So... I asked him "Did you make any backups to this machine?" He was like.. "*Really long explenation* No *Really long Explenation*"
Great... i thought to myself... Then I said to him his PC was so trash that i only could Reset it to 0... He was like DO ANYTHING YOU CAN LITERALLY ANYTHING!
I then explained him, Resetting this PC Means literally 0 A Fresh start, nothing of your data will be there literally nothing...
He again Was like DO IT!
So I did... When it was done i showed him the result... He FREAKED OUT LIKE THE WORLD WAS GOING TO FUCKING END, HE SCREAMED AT ME WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE? REVERSE IT! REVERSE IT NOW!
I Then said to him, I reset it to 0, I said this would happen...
He then took his now perfectly running Laptop and Ran away...
Tech support for friend, Reset PC to 0, Freaked out AF...4
Fun drinking game.
1. Phone Indian "Tech Support"
2. Drink every time they "E for echo" or some variant of that.
3. Finally tell them your using Linux.
4. Hang up.
5 Rinse and repeat.2
long && scam && rant?
At my parent's: phone rings..
Me: hi this is XYZ (in German)
He: hi this is ABC from Microsoft tecnical suport (strong Indian accent, sorry toall Indian devs who might feel offended, no intention)
Me: hi... (I'm learning for my exams and don't have a VM with Windows installed currently, so no time to "play")
He: we got some worrying data from your Windows computer. You might have a virus and we need to run a few tests to verfy it. Do you know what that is?
Me: yeah, a scam.
He: sorry, sir I didn't understand you, could you repeat?
Me: yeah, I know what " this" is. It's a scam, and we only deploy Linux here. (lie, we have Windows, Mac and Linux, as well as an iPhone, iPad and Android devices in the house, guess who is "support"...) But good luck with your next call.
He: (kind of friendly) oh. I see. Well have a nice day too.8
Me after starting bachelors in CS
Friends: Oh um hey we have barely talked in months but now I expect you to solve my completely Google-able problem for free which will waste 30 minutes of your life because I can't describe it properly.
Family: Please fix this problem with my phone/pc/laptop. CS means you do this stuff right? Good job, we will keep pestering you with tech support.
Me: *reading work order* Customer states Mac does not have sound
*Me turns on Mac, it makes the signature "BONNNNG" sound*
Me: Uh huh...
Coworker: Rule No. 1 of tech support: The users always lie
Me: True, but still! How do you miss the start up Mac sound?!3
So, as a programmer, I'm basically the go-to tech support guy for my family (and now my gf's family).
So, my gf's mum updated windows and her computer stopped playing around through headphones, asks me for help.
I've got no fucking idea, I don't even use windows.
She's like "if your computer did this what would you do".
"I'd google the problem and randomly try solutions until it started working again. And hope I didnt break anything else."
She didn't seem happy with my debugging technique...13
!dev but definitely rant
Here's a fucking thought:
How is holding women over different standards at events and (non-physical) competitions (hackathons especially, somehow) NOT widely considered sexist? I don't even mean towards men - yes, of course.
But also towards women: By preferring their results in some competitions in order to "support them", you implicitly degrade them to be small children in need for praise. You imply that you expect them to perform worse. By "women-first" PR bullshit, you do what you claim to be against. Fuck you.
Why can't we just hold everyone to the same fucking standards? Women can be just as good in tech as men, when interested. I would even make a point that these different standards hold back women from trying to get into any tech-related career.18
"PLEASE COME QUICKLY OUR INTERNAL NETWORK IS FUCKED!
-Uh, mam', could you describe the problem?"
Spent an hour, trying to fix this "network issue". Basic level 1 and 2 support. Can't connect using RDP on the server. No teamviewer either. Unplug, replug everything. Restart the server, the router, the switches. I knew that it was something dumb. I spent 3h on the highway.
That the fucking.
Was plugged oN THE MOTHER FUCKING ILO PORT! FUCK HP, FUCK THIS, FUCK ME BECAUSE I SHOULD'VE ASKED FOR A PHOTO.
"It's fixed, mam'. Did you touch something when it was working?
-Uh, no, I swear. Also, could you please take a look at our printer? It's not working. It was out of ink so I changed the cartridge yesterday, but today it's not working!"
The cartridge was not inserted correctly.
Then she nicely made me a coffee, thanking me for the fix and asking what the problems were.
Comes back to hometown for easter holidays.
(Not so close) 'friends & family' tech support requests start rolling in..1
You know it's the holidays when you go to your parents house for dinner and fix the router, your mom's phone, your dad's iPhone, the smart tv, your brothers email account reset, your grandmas prehistoric phone and then you go to your wife's family for dinner and you find yourself fixing her mom's iPhone, her dad's laptop her uncle's tablet, her cousin's ps4 and every freaking thing that connects to the Wi-Fi. Well, it's the holidays, at least there was food and drinks all around...Happy New Year everyone 🍷2
So, I'm studying computer engineering in school, so a lot of people have decided I'm the tech one in the group and come to me with all there computer problems.
I'm constantly explaining basic things about their computers, how to exit vim, why using git is a lot easier then having 100 versions of files, how to change directories from the terminal. Simple things like that and while I normally don't mind, all these people are also in computer engineering and should really know all this stuff too.8
So, I found this :
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, HuntingAndFishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks ...Troubled User
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 installed and work on improving the configuration. I suggest installing the background application YesDear 99.0 to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to do this before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as CleanAndSweep 3.0, CookIt 1.5 and DoBills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0, but beware because sometimes these applications can be expensive.
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
WARNING!!! Attempting to install NewGirlFriend 8.8 along with Wife 1.0 will crash the system.
(see Wife 1.0 manual, Apologize, High Maintenance & Secretary with Short Skirt)7
I hate it when people call me to help fixing their computers as if I'm a tech support. I'm a programmer. Yes, I can fix them. But it only took me a few fucking Google searches3
Client gets an error message. Proceeds to write the error message on a piece of paper, scans the paper in as PDF and attaches the document to an email to tech support.1
That moment when you say you work as developer and someone respond : "Great, can you have a look at my microwaves?"6
Became an uncle to two beautiful girls the other week. But the plan to make them the future tech support of the family is already in play! Hopefully they will exceed me in about 10 years, I'm a front-end dev so it shouldn't be that hard...
Shit that annoys me: People use the store (insert google play/apple/other) rating with one star to ask questions instead of fucking filling the stupid contact form or send an email to tech support.2
That moment a friend sees an opened terminal on your pc and you realize you are now branded "tech-support" forever *sigh*5
Just finished dinner and the phone goes:"hello I am phoning from Microsoft support" *cracks knuckles* let the games begin3
When your parents expect you to be tech support and then fucking can't fix it, they get all like "You suck at programming". What does that have to do with fucking anything?!?!?!6
To all of you who push their OS preferences like door-to-door religious zealots: I wish you stuck on your least-liked platform for the rest of your days.
I'll also throw in a side of providing tech support to the incompetent.
Fuck your lot.14
Dad called me over for "tech support". He'd bought a wireless mouse and keyboard and couldn't for the life of him get it working. The issue with my dad is that he never lets you touch the computer when he needs help. 20 minutes and 20 questions later, I finally ask if he plugged in the USB receiver. Answer? "It's wireless, it should just... work!"2
My boss keeps trying new tech with important new projects instead of trying the fucking new things with anything other than important shit.
I support this let's try better options approach but cmon, be rational about it.2
Saw this on Facebook and couldn't help but share here! 😂
A young woman submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke…
Dear Tech Support,
’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):
“First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.Good Luck!’
My step mother told me she has an old laptop from which she wanted to extract the email address book. I highly doubt of them (less than 20) are still up to date. Some of them are from dead ISPs 😰
I'm honestly surprised about the immediate respond times and that it still works pretty well.6
Disclaimer: Long tale of a tech support job. Also the wk29 story is at the bottom.
One time I was working tech support for a website and email hosting firm that was in town. I was hired and worked as the only tech support person there, so all calls came in through me. This also meant that if I was on a call, and another one came through, they would go straight to voice mail. But I couldn't hang up calls either, so, sometimes someone would take up tons of time and I'd have to help them. I was also the "SEO" and "Social Media Marketing" person, as well; managed peoples' social media campaigns. I have tons of stories from this place but a few in particular stick out to me. No particular order to these, I'm just reminiscing as I write this.
I once had to help a man who couldn't find the start button on his computer. When I eventually guided him to allowing me to remote into his computer via Team Viewer, I found he was using Windows XP. I'm not kidding.
I once had to sit on the phone with a man selling Plexus Easy Weight Loss (snake oil, pyramid scheme, but he was a client) and have him yell at me about not getting him more business, simply because we'd built his website. No, I'D not built his website, but his website was fine and it wasn't our job to get him more business. Oh yeah, this is the same guy who said that he didn't want the social media marketing package because he "had people to hide from." Christ.
We had another client who was a conspiracy theorist and wanted the social media marketing package for his blog, all about United States conspiracies. Real nut case. But the best client I've ever had because sometimes he'd come into the office and take up my time talking at me about how Fukushima was the next 911 and that soon it'll spill into the US water supply and everybody was going to die. Hell, better than being on the phone! Doing his social media was great because he wanted me to post clearly fake news stories to his twitter and facebook for him, and I got to look at and manage all the comments calling him out on his bullshit. It was kinda fun. After all, it wasn't _me_ that believed all this. It felt like I was trolling.
[wk29] I was the social media and support techie, not a salesperson. But sometimes I was put in charge _alone_ in front of clients for status meetings about their social media. This one time we had a client who was a custom fashion-type person. I don't really remember. But I was told directly to make them a _new_ facebook page and post to it every day with their hot new deals and stuff. MONTHS pass since I do that and they come in for a face-to-face meeting. Boss is out doing... boss things and that means I have to sit in with her, and for some fucking reason she brought her boyfriend AND HER DAD. Who were both clearly very very angry with me, the company, and probably life. They didn't ever say anything at first, they didn't greet me, they were both just there like British royal guards. It was weird as fuck. I start showing them the page, the progress on their likes goals, etc etc. Marketing shit. They say, "huh, we didn't see any of these posts at home." Turns out they already had a Facebook page, I was working on a completely seperate one, and then the boyfriend finally chimes in with the biggest fucking scowl, "what are you going to do about this?" He was sort of justified, considering this was a payed and semi-expensive service we offered, but holy shit the amount of fire in all three of them. Anyway, it came down to me figuring out how to merge facebook pages, but they eventually left as clients. Is this my fuck up? Is it my company's? Is it theirs? I don't know but that was probably the most awkward meeting ever. Don't know if it comes across through text but the anxiety was pretty real. Fuck.
tl;dr Tech support jobs are a really fun and exciting entry level position I recommend everybody apply for if they're starting out in the tech world! You'll meet tons of cool people and every day is like a new adventure.2
Even if you unplug the router when Verizon tech support says they are going to run a test on it, they will say everything looks good and is running perfectly anyways.
Also, a tip. They will also try to sell you their newest router. Say you have that one already in every room and the speed is even lower than it was before, and then demand a refund because they sold you defective product. 9 times out of 10 they will unthrottle you instantly.1
To people who have done tech support:
Shoot me. Do you know what it is like to teach kids to use a mouse? Or even type in a keyboard? They don’t even know how to double click. Gotta call google chrome the circle of colors for them to understand. Some think the video that is giving the instructions is actually them doing it. So when it ends they are like alright done.
FYI: working in an internship currently where we teach kindergarten up until 5th graders from scratch to Minecraft modding. Btw it is an unpaid internship.10
Didn't had to fix anything (so far). But took my dev laptop to show all the projects I've been working on to the dad of my girlfriend and he showed me his projects.
He's not mainly a dev, but an electrical ingenieur. He designs his own pcb boards (with 8bit processors on them, as "that's more than enough power to do almost anything!") and then programs that stuff with basic (he writes his own firmware for it).
He also creates desktop application to get data off the devices using Delphi.
Love that guy and have a shittln of respect for him!1
Mum: can you look at my phone?
*bunch of random shit pops up all over the place*
Me: your phones got a bunch of viruses on it or something. You'll have to get it fixed
Her: can't you do it? You make apps. Can't you just make an app for me to fix my phone?
Me: I don't really make apps, besides that's kind of impossible.
Her: so what did you go to university for?
A friend of mine who works in tech support at a college gets this call. The guy on the other end (a college professor) asks how to open an application on his computer.
Tech Support: "There should be an icon on your desktop."
He then hears this strange rustling noise over the phone.....
Tech Support: "What are you doing?"
Professor: "You said to look on my desktop."
Tech Support: "Ummm, hang on. I'll be there in a few minutes."1
Today, someone asked me to recover the lost data from his phone that he just factory reset with no backup.
Fuck no. I said this many times. I AM NOT A TECH SUPPORT!!
So I said no.
Then he asked me if he the people from the repair shop are able to recover the data.
How the fuck do I know?
I blocked him.1
It seems as if my parents delete SYSTEM32 folder each time I visit them 😂.
How do you keep your parents from breaking their phone of pc?9
Yeey, my mom just called me that when I got home I'd have to fix the neighbour's TV. Because after 10 hours of school the only thing I want to do is fill in the role of a free tech support.3
I seem to be everyone's free tech support. I'm always helping my friends and family but I don't get anything in return. 😣5
I work as the entire I.T. department of a small business which products are web based, so naturally, I do tech support in said website directly to our clients.
It is normal that the first time a new client access our site they run into questions, but usually they never call again since it is an easy website.
There was an unlucky client which ran into unknown problems and blamed the server.
I couldn't determine the exact cause, but my assumption was a network error for a few seconds which made the site unavailable and the user tried to navigate the site through the navbar and exited the process he was doing. It goes without saying but he was very angry.
I assured him there was nothing wrong with the site, and told him that it would not be charged for this reason. Finally i told him that if he had the same problem, to let me know instead of trying to fix it himself.
The next time he used the site I received a WhatsApp message saying:
- there is something clearly wrong with the site... It has been doing this for so long!
And attached was a 10 second video which showed that he filled a form and never pressed send (my forms have small animations and text which indicates when the form is being send and error messages when an error occurs, usually not visible because the data they send is small and the whole process is quite fast)
To which I answer
- It seems that the form has not been send that's why it looks that way
- So... What an I supposed to do?
- click send
It took a while but the client replied
To this day I wonder how much time did the client stared at the form cursing the server.
/* My Three Wishes */
1. Nvidia starts fucking supporting the linux community with open source mainlined drivers that support GBM.
2. All five eyes countries apply some proper privacy protection laws. Other countries would be appreciated.
3. 5G and other core future tech standards are implemented under open firmware/hardware that can be reviewed and reproduced.
Please monkey paw this3
I provide hosting for my clients. About 3 months ago I discovered that the hosting company that I'd been using had been swallowed up by EIG, which explained why the tech support had gone downhill.
So, I jumped to another hosting company. Same shit different company!
Apparently the fact that my browsers sit at "connecting" for up to 30 seconds, and I get a "could not connect to" message half the time while I'm trying to fucking work on a deadline is the fault of some plug-in in a WordPress installation!
Oh yeah? Why then does this shit happen when I'm working on a pure html/css site?
Why then did it start happening after they "updated" my shared server?!
Oh, but the bastards suggest that I buy Cloudflare or pay for more space!
You fuckers made my work take 3 times as long, and you made an important migration fail!
Network places make mistakes. We all do. That's cool. Fucking own up to it, talk to me like a techie, and DON'T TRY TO BLAME IT ON ME OR MY TOOLS!
Fuck you! I think I'm gonna give Google Cloud a try, and do this shit myself!7
On my last project the customer gave really high reviews and asked me back as a senior engineer. First day back I meet the new PM and ask what I'll be working on.
He responds, "We have a printer that's not working..."
Of course I'm like wtf but then it quickly becomes apparent I'm writing the interface instructions between the software and printer....
Still, I'm back as over priced tech support to fix a printer!
What kind of questions should I expect with a phone interview for a student tech support position?
Got an interview Tuesday afternoon!5
Here's an issue I've been having with my PC for the past year;
*gets blue screen of death* (every 5 mins)
*takes out my second pair of ram cards, blue screening stops*
*waits a day, puts cards back in, has no more problems for 1-2 weeks*
*gets more blue screens*
If I leave the cards out, the system NEVER has any issues.
But, I can't play games smoothly on 4gb of ram.
Also, I can't afford new cards.19
We are sorry, that You are experiencing issues with our application, please describe your problem with details in a letter and send it STRAIGHT IN YOUR ASSHOLE. WTF everybody gone in vacation and I need to respond to all that shit?
I swear to God if “Microsoft testicle supprt” calls me one more time I’m going to flip. I think it may be time to set up a sandbox and get the fucks to “fix my computer.”
It would be a shame if instead of payment for their “support” their computers became infected with ransomeware...
I know what I’m doing today.10
A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keeps quiet for the moment)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support: 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support: (hush hush)
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE <nosmoke> at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech: (hush hush)
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of the power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.3
(Call from a distant family member I know by name only)
Him: Hey, blah it's been awhile blah hey so I have this problem with my printer and...
Him: What do you mean you don't know about printers, can I bring it to your hou...<*click*>4
Dad: “Cool! Now you can sit around like you always do!” 😑
Mom: “So you are programming the computer? Can you show me how to do x on my computer/iPhone?” Except it’s the same questions every single time... She never learns...
Brother: Talks to me about jailbreak stuff
And of course, they all ask me how to fix things on different electronics.3
To any and all family members, before requesting my help with the printer/computer/electronic device follow these steps to make sure I don't get irritated.
1. Make sure it's plugged in.
2. Turn it off then back on
3. Turn it off, unplug it for around 30s, turn it back on.
4. Request help
Why is this so hard to grasp? I don't want to stop my workflow with an issue that could be resolved in less than a minute!1
Today in the tech store I asked an assistant where to find the CAT6 ethernet cables.
He said he didn't know and ended up in asking me for technical support.4
I'm of Indian descent and I just stepped into a meeting where some American project managers couldn't understand tech support 's accent. it wasn't them though, because I couldn't understand the guy's thick Indian accent either.2
I study and work as a tech support guy in a company and the head of Android development wanted to speak to me : want to help us with some changes in the app? Now I am a junior Android developer. Not even mad 🤔3
A guy came to me with a laptop that wouldn't boot. After some poking around, I opened the machine just to find everything submerged in coffee. No sh*t your computer doesn't work..3
It's 14:59 and my grandmother has just called me in for tech support I guess.
I'm sitting here in fucking slouch clothes with a cup of coffee and, for some reason, sunglasses?
What a strange morning.7
I once had to deal with GoDaddy customer support telling me their servers only support putty for SSH.
Well, fuck you! I use Linux and I SSH with a single command in terminal, no doubt putty is great but get your senses straight that putty is not the only way to SSH when you are being customer support for a tech company, don't just fucking recite a phrase list. Besides, they should understand Windows with putty is not the only way to SSH into servers, juicessh via Android, openssh via Linux, etc...
*btw, before you all rant about me buying from GoDaddy, I was lead dev for a startup few years back and they had already bought it from GoDaddy. Ofcourse they also provide free offers along with an order, which often includes email addresses, annoying support, gut-wrenching quality of service access...1
Quick backstory. I've negotiated with our customers to drop IE11 support (happiest day of my life) and decided to also refactor and update our webpack configuration. I asked a bunch of questions about a few exclusions we had for JS processing and received a reply of: I don't know if we need these anymore. Queue a snippet of my response in a meme format on how I wish to proceed with the change done by our tech lead.
me: *starts receiving emails of clients having technical problems and errors and asking for help* wat, im being flooded with all these mails!
me: *sends email to boss* umm... i think im receiving the wrong mails...
boss: nope! from now on, you'll be in-charge of tech support for our clients. good luck and merry christmas!
me: *dies internally* happy holidays to u too5
That moment when family visits and you just have to fix a laptop or two because, you know, you know programming.3
My University's tech support are all really happy and glad to help people. Was going to look into a student job, but damn no way in hell I could be that helpful and happy lol2
Hit a snag with Grommet UI library. Fired an issue and Alan Souza, the creator, replied in just two minutes. He also caught me typing to Slack, told me that he'd already seen my issue, apologised and promised to fix this.
That's what I call "great support".2
I told tech support to install java, he installed jre. Maven needs the Jdk.Off to his office again.4
When an employee has a problem and calls tech support and you ask them to switch off their computer and they proceed to turning off the screen 😑1
After weeks of feeling useless at work as being the "available tech support", but not actually doing anything, I was finally assigned a new learning task, which is looking into Prolog
Doesn't feel like my cup of tea, but at least I'm putting my head to work again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯5
We all hate being tech support for our family and friends, but motherfuck this is insane; my sister asks me for support and then doesn't listen to me. E.g. I tell her that the Microsoft login page is fucked up so she'll need to login again and she doesn't try again, but pesters me until I login for her... Every goddamn time...11
Whenever tech support answers "yes, i can help you with that sir",
what they really mean is "no, but i will google it for you"
Honestly, this is me anytime I have to give legitimate tech support that is more than the wifi being down.
It sucks but I'm learning and Google,/DDG helps the process hahaha
When working tech support for a company with a buggy product. I swore never to put anyone in the position I once was.
30 minutes left of the day. I don'nt want to start something new, lets just read Tales From Tech Support instead :)
Log into tech support community website...
Get prompted to change password because my current one is too old...
Paste in the same password I already am using...
Just reminiscing about the time I needed to recover my ldap password and the procedure consisted of an asthmatic tech support dude showing it to me in a giant spreadsheet.
So now you can sent email straight in firstname.lastname@example.org
Special tech support for people, who leave 1star review
Scored another win as the family tech guy! I found out my wife's sister and her husband were storing all their passwords in a Excel spreadsheet. Long story short they are now using a password manager. 😁2
My dad just thought I'd grow out of my "gaming and PC 24/7" phase and didn't really care about the Tech. But when I started studying to be a dev he gave full support. "Do anything you like except ride motorbikes, do drugs or be a sailor, so long as you can sustain yourself" was the message carried across generally.1
Every night around midnight my internet turns to shit, ping jumps to 1000ms ... Lasts for a few hours.
Only tech support available at that time is cheapest call center in Bombay
"Okay please sir I am running the tests now please. Nothing is wrong sir from my end"
"Oh? What's the latency from your end to my modem?"
".... Sir I am runnings the tests..."
Bah! It's whack...5
Several years ago I joined the company I currently work for, as a software support person, with the intention of eventually moving toward the development team.
After a few years doing that, I gradually realised that working in the development team for our products didn't seem that appealing after all, so I went for a more technical support role (essentially debugging all the really complicated problems and reporting the bugs to the devs) which I find fascinating - trying to solve these puzzles is an interesting challenge. It can take days, sometimes weeks to get to the bottom of something really inexplicably weird.
As part of this I get to do some internal dev work on the teams projects (nothing that gets used directly by external users though) and have learned loads of things from my boss over the years (even before I joined this team).
It has its frustrating moments of course but I am definitely glad I didn't follow my original intentions of just being a developer on our main products.
Sometimes what you think you want isn't actually what's ideal for you :)2
While I'm not a dev, I do love computers and I do know my way around them, so friends/family often ask me for tech support.
Friend: Please fix my computer!
Me: what's wrong with it?
Friend: *sends me pic of blue screen of death*
Me: I don't think you understand
My dad got us a a home computer on ~1995 without video games. But he brought a software where we can program our own games. So, we learn programming.4
So I decided to help my Mom's Mom setup an Amazon Fire TV. Now I've been here for about 3 - 4 hours and I'm setting up 2 Fire Tv's, A Router, Writting down passwords, setting up an Amazon account with Prime and fixing her computer.. 😤😢3
When I became a dev my parents said: "it's not rocket science, or chemistry or anything good, but at least it's not stressful, or dangerous and we can get free tech support. I hope you are able to pay your own bills and find rent"
A few years, a degree and finding a supportive woman who is now my wife and and I make 4 time as much as my parents make now they want me to move back so they can get their tech support and see my wife I guess she is more social than I am
When you're picking up your kid from school and you bump into a client... "Hey, I know you're not working but have a quick question for you."
Mom: hey I can't get into the phone, the PIN and PUK aren't working. See if you can fix it otherwise you'll have to go to the communications company to ask for a new card (my mom is working and can't do it)
Me: //gives it another try. Doesn't work. Searches online. Yep, can't do anything, it needs a new card
Me: sorry mom, you have to get a new card, there's nothing I can do.
Me: why did you ask me for help, again?
Mom: well because you can do things and fix things and so, and I thought that maybe you could fix it
When you try to help someone clean their computer over the phone, and they install a new program to "clean" their computer mid-call.
!dev but tech related...
Got a device configured in a location that is fairly far away from me. It operates only through a cloud service specifically for these devices, with one of the most unreliable web interfaces and smartphone apps I have ever used.
I email my issues to the tech support who don't seem to understand the problems and can't fathom the difference between "reset settings" and "restart device".
Eventually they need to log in to my account to find out whats wrong. I explicitly state that under no circumstances should any settings be changed.
Today I find that the device has been removed from the cloud account. I physically must be near it to register it on the account again. Tech support don't seem to know what happened and the best explanation is that it is "a glitch". They have no way to add it back themselves. I have to travel to the device.
Funny how this happened after I let them access the account...
Why would some companies advertise a job post as Software Engineer, and only to find out deep in the process after doing multiple interviews, that it’s actually a support job??
Seriously why the fuck do that? That’s disingenuous and misleading as fuck?
And why would a dev be dropping a dev job and experience to do tech support ? Is it even worth it?
Even if it is, can you easily switch back to an actual dev job afterwards?
Wow the things some of these companies do 😶🙄😑🤦🏾♂️4
The client in my previous two rants officially hired me as their Head of Tech Support.
I moved into the tech support office today, with a super comfy ergonomic chair and a huge table.
If only there's someone else here......
So, today in the office we all decided chipotle for lunch. We create the team order and sent it out to the entire office.
First thing we noticed: online ordering looks really good and has finally been updated.
Second thing we noticed: it never got tested and it doesn't work
Result: 7 angry developers who just wanted some burrito bowls start emailing chipotle tech support3
Everyday tech support struggles:
- "I can't find my document."
- "Ok where did you save it?"
- "In Word."
- "I understand you saved it in Word but where did you save the file to?"
- "I'm not sure, Word did the rest"3
Father's friend ask if I'm gonna open printing and scanning press when I'm done with IT degree.
I said yes to avoid been his tech support1
I forgot how exhausting being tech support can be. I tried helping my dad update his WhatsApp earlier. He barely knows how to even use a smartphone, let alone how to update apps. I ofc auto-enabled updates through WiFi, but for some godforsaken reason he isn't connected anymore. So yeah, I've been trying to remotely troubleshoot a phone of someone who doesn't understand there's a difference between an app and the Google search bar, and that you can swipe on phones. ~.~
And if you read this until the end, have a cookie 🍪 and / or a beer 🍺- I'm having one myself now, after this, cheers!2
The hand of IT guy in family
My family sees me as guy who works on IT stuff. The best part is that I will have to help them whenever they encounter problem regarding electronics in daily activities.
Son! The internet is not working
Son! The printer is not working
Son! The TV is not working
Son! My phone didnt get any signals
Son! The microwave is not working
Son! The TV remote is not working
Son! Why is this whatsapp popup always appear whenever I opened it
Son! The dvd player is not working
Son! My phone wont charged
Son! I want to buy online stuff
Son! The email that ur uncle sent me cannot be opened
Son! The email that ur aunt sent me is not there
Son! Can u help me download this travelling app
Son! I opened a website and it told me that I have 163718362 virus!
Son! I forget my password of my facebook account!
Son! Some guy idk on facebook added me as his/her friends, what should i do?
Son! The internet is not working (again)
The fact is that, most if these problem, I helped them by just.. restarting the router, reboot the router for 1 min interval, find specific toggler in disfunctional hardware that they accidentally hit during sweeping the floor, take out the power and put it back again, show them how to's in many account/payment mechanism in apps, etc
The very best part that whenever they satisfied, whenever things back to work again, whenever they can reset the password:
"I've tried what you told me, but it just didnt work, but idk when u did it, it works! you are really an IT guy"
And i was like
1.5 hours of my afternoon was spent on the phone talking my grandad through forwarding an email today.
Still love him him to death though.3
My first freelance dev job thing, turned out alright. For the first year though, the dev job thing became a tech support thing. Oh the horror.
Applied for a new job today! It's in a different city, but it's with a company I'm familiar with, doing tech I'm familiar with. They provided my current employer with managed hosting and occasional bugfix and upgrade support before we completely changed our tech stack last year.
I've been feeling sort of stuck in a hole for a while. I'm unsure about moving, but it's partly of my own making and I was unsure about starting here when all the tech was new to me. I've been here 3.5 years, my first actual dev job, and I do think I've done what I came here for.
The technical incompentency of the people I try to help with their tech problems, is utterly astounding. Especially family members. For the love of God, if somebody is offering you tech support, put in at least some minimal degree of effort!
Going back home for the holidays means becoming tech support for pretty much the whole family, unluckly.
As soon as I enter my grandparent's home, my grandpa says "Could you print some emails?". I open his laptop, and I start sweating as soon as I see the Windows XP logo popping up. He (obviously) doesn't remember his password, and the only way to access his (mostly defunct) web mail service is Outlook 2003. For some reason, the web mail provider's POP3 server dies, and i spend half an hour trying to explain it. I ended up leaving with him saying "Why are you even going to a computer engineering university."
Coworker: I yelled at Sony for the PS3 having 7 USB ports... I said that devices only need 2 USB ports. But now, I have this laptop here that has two USB ports and I'm yelling at it! So who's the hypocrite?
Coworker: Sony. Though to be fair, this laptop was made back before we really needed a lot of USB ports. Keyboards and mice were PS/2.
Me: What about printers?
Coworker: They have printer cables....
Me: WHICH ARE USB!
Coworker: ....Oh yeah...2
Developers. !=. God's of tech
Do ppl really think we know every single big apps error codes?!?!
Isint tht Googles job, I Google errors and solutions every day for like 1015 times.
Today started off like a normal day and then i got a call from my aunt and she asked if i could set up her new iPhone 8 plus. and once i got there i did and it was no biggie. and then she pulls out four more boxes and has me set all of them up for family members.
WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IM TECH SUPPORT. it’s just so fucking annoying.4
Continuing my rant from Yesterday....
As I was strolling though Walmart yesterday...
Tech Support 1: $Customer is having issues with their tablet they bought from us.
Tech Support 2: tell them to shut it off and shut it back on
Relative phones up worried about installing Adblocker as it "can store and modify the websites you visit"...my answer.."so can GCHQ, NSA AND CIA so just give in to the fact that you have no privacy and click ok"...*long pause*.."ok one more question, what's a chrome extension?"..FML
How about them relatives always thinking 'you sa work with computers? You sa tech support for EVERYTHING'3
New years resolution: no more tech support period. No one appreciates it and if anything breaks in the future youre expected to fix it. Lol, no thanks2
I give software support to Rugged handhelds in a company and everyday some IT support moron comes to me with a crazy request. The day just started and...
IT Tech: "Hello, C, can you improve the touchscreen sensibility? It's not so responsive and sometimes we have to click more than one time to something work"
Me: "That's ok, the rugged ones that you have are very old, besides they have resistive screen, so your fingers won't do a good job"
IT Tech: "THERE'S NO WAY TO FIX IT? I guess I'll open a ticket for you to study more calmly about the issue"
Me: "If it's not a software thing, I can't do that, I don't have hardware skills, I guess you'll have to call our provider about that, but, before you do something, try to recalibrate your handhelds, the majority of the users don't do that at the system's start and the touch experience really can become a mess"
IT Tech: "Hmmm, I'll try that, otherwise I'll back to you, thanks!"
I am open to suggestions of a magic batch file/ .NET CF 2.0 software that will turn their handhelds into a Galaxy S6 touch experience. THANKS!1
i often do tech support in chat rooms in my free time (because i like spreading good will,) so here's a tech horror story
"hey, can you help me fix something?"
"so i dug my old XP machine out of my closet and replaced the bad Ethernet card with a different one and when i plug in the ethernet cable the PC bluescreens."
did you install the drivers? Sounds like it needs drivers
then install them
"it doesn't need any"
why do you say that?
"it said \"This device is set up and ready to use.\" in the balloon in the corner"
it has generic drivers to deal with devices before the real drivers can be found
"shouldn't they work?"
some devices need the extra support provided by the intended drivers, so the generic ones cause issues in those cases
"ok, well, where do I find them?"
do you have a model number?
"yes, it's " # scrubbed for... privacy? i dunno
gimme a few minutes
<insert 45 minutes of aggressive Googling for (str(DEVICE_MODEL_NUMBER) + " xp drivers")>
alright i have the drivers, go here:
# again, removed for... idk.
"they don't work"
# oh here we go
"These drivers are not compatible with your system architecture."
what version of XP are you using?
x86 or x64?
ok so this is gonna get real complicated real fast: use x86 XP or I can't help you, none exist for x64 XP.
<User left the IRC channel.>
Got pulled away from the beauty of code yet again today to moonlight as tech support. Two people in my office got "bitlockered" in the same day... Imagine turning on your computer and finding out it needs a bitlocker recovery key when you never enabled bitlocker. Thanks Windows 10 + Dell.11
I work in tech support right now... 80% of my job is waiting around for presenters to show up to events and end up not wanting any tech.
I love working from home. I finally feel I'm making progress and not just extinguishing fires and doing tech support for colleagues.
Maybe I should move to freelance work after this is over...
My mother got a "smarter than her phone" (her words).
Now she's realized she can text me inchorent questions about their home network at all hours.1
A story from the old days
My father had a fame around he's friends that he understood this nasty business that is computers and in the pre-windows time he was reasonably knowledgeable... But as things evolved he didn't evolve with them so when he's friends asked him to help he would take me to solve the problem...
One day he asked me to see what was the problem with a friend's personal computer. This is a 70+ year old man.
When I get to his computer I do a quick check and see it's too infected with so many viruses to the point it is better to just format and clean install, so I ask him to backup he's files and the next day I picked up the PC and clean installed and setup the all thing...
Not more than 3 months pass and the guy says to my dad the problem was back...
I get there and the antivirus was turned off and the PC was infected... Found it weird but okay, enabled the antivirus, cleaned everything... Back to as new.... This time I instructed him to keep the antivirus always updated and running...
One week later to my surprise: he reports it is all back... Now I am getting tired of this and went to he's browsing history to find out how the hell he is achieving this... Too my surprise the amount of early internet shady porn sites was over the top...
I know had to tell a 70+ year old man how to safely watch porn... But that is not my problem, so I ask him what kind of sites he's going to... He blames he's grandson for using the internet in he's computer... Only problem: he's grandson is 2 years old...
I just set up the bookmarks with some children sites and convinced my father to take a look at that and either instruct the man or the kid on how to watch porn without getting a venereal disease...
Story Time: About Priorities and Sales
So at this point I'm working tech support for a company that makes some super cool networking equipment, think big data / data centers and such.
This company had grown at a good pace but the the support team had not (thus is the way for all tech support evetually). So I get a call from a frantic sales guy:
Sales: "OMG, where are with this ticket?!?!? It's a P2 ticket!!!"
Me: "Well the ticket came in 30 minutes ago, I emailed them some questions, but just so you know I have 8 P2 tickets, and 4 P1 tickets.... so it will be a while."
Sales: "OMG! Make my customer's ticket a P1!!"
-30 minutes passes-
-sales calls again-
Sales: "OMG, where are with this ticket?!?!? It's a P1 ticket!!!"
Me: "Well I haven't gotten to them yet... just so you know I have 7 P2 tickets, and 5 P1 tickets.... "
More tales from University Tech Support:
Haven't been able to get ahold of this staff member for weeks to do required maintenance. Emails, VMs, surprise office visits, she's never anywhere to be found.
Finally my boss emails her with the subject line "Free Money", and gives her some sass in the email about calling IT back.
Yeah, she responded in minutes...2
WTF IS THIS? Been popping up all day.... I tried googling but official support says to uninstall Office and Visual Studios....
WTF MSFT!!!! Quite frankly it feels even tech support at tech companies aren't very competent.... just staffed by a bunch of call center monkeys?5
This morning I got a reply to my tech support email:
The problem was that the dynamic pages on my website are no longer being served as dynamic pages and so IIS is throwing errors on every page load. Seems to me like they've done something their end because I didn't touch it when it happened...
The tech support email essentially told me to rename all my files from .cshtml (ie. a dynamic page) to .html.
I'm not expert, but I doubt this is going to solve the problem...4
I didn't realise just how retarded people are when they call tech support.
Working combined line 1/2 tech support and people just describe shit in the most unhelpful way ever.2
Is it just me or is the 'storefront' test for CAPTCHA much harder than the schoolbus or traffic light? Could be my diminishing eyesight, or bourbon too.4
So I made an inquerery for some API documentation..
They escalated the ticket to 2nd level support from what they already called tech support.. why have API integration as a feature then??
Dad: Hey, how do I make a program work when it's not working?
Me: Guess what, I've looking for the answer to that exact same question for a while now, but I still haven't found it. I'll make sure to tell you when I do.
(Clarification: He's not a dev, he was actually talking about some 10 year old version of some program not launching in Windows 10)
Me: “[Company] tech support, how may I help you?”
Caller: “Hi, I’ve got a problem. Your program is telling me to get a pet snake. I don’t want one.”
Me: “I am sorry Sir I didn't quite get that. Can you please repeat?”
Caller: “It’s giving me an error message telling me I need a snake to run it.”
Me: “Read the message to me please.”
Caller: “Error: Python is required to run this script.”5
Since everyone rants about interviews, I think that's the perfect time to ask this.
In a week, I'm going to have my first interview.
Its for an apprenticeship as "Fachinformatiker für Systemintegration".
For the non-german speakers, pretty much sysadmin,server-engineer, sometimes internal tech-support.
The company isn't a tech-company, but a logistics-company.
The interview will be done by the boss of the company's location and the lead of the IT-department.
So, what should I expect, what questions and such ?3
Bad English aside I am so sick of incompetent customer service reps. Holy shit it's like they will hire anyone these days.
Here just read from this script and not the code version. That's all the tech you need to know right here on this single piece of paper.
Fucking incompetent bastards need to go work at a non technical job like Burger King because tech support is beyond them.
They'd probably fuck that up to. That's a completely different rant, those who can't even do fast food jobs right. At that point just go get on disability because your fucked.
To be fair I will occasionally get someone in the tech support sector who knows their shit but it's few and far between and its always a welcome surprise.13
Been working shitty odd jobs since I was in high school and college. Spent the majority of 2017 looking for any entry level tech job just to see what kinds of jobs I can land with current work/school experience.
Needless to say I had the absolute pleasure of quitting a doctor's office that I spent five years at. Now I'm in my first week working in tech support where they're actually going to pay for me to take classes and get certs. Couldn't be happier and I'm writing this to send positive energy everyone's way.2
Reporting server connection to database is down, probably due to a user access restriction.
reported the issue to the India sql datacenter and got back: Yes, We see that the connection is down. ( I sent them screenshot of it including the error message ) There is no such database available.
Me: Yes, well I'm in the db working right ( send screenshot) now.
India: ..... disappear offline.1
"So, my company made a Mother's Day video, with photos from mothers around the company, with their children and stuff. A while ago they sent an email asking for replies with photos from those who wanted to participate, blah blah.
Then the video came out, and some people were missing. They complained.
HR then complained to IT Support that 'some emails didn't arrive'.
Support then replied to the ticket with screenshots of the person's own email inbox, with all the so-called missing emails.
HR then called back, apologizing for having screwed up with their own email inbox."
And this is another story of injustice with the poor IT department.
Or another story about people who can't properly manage their inboxes.
Or both. Your choice.
I just received it from a friend (I guess I should bring him into DevRant).1
"hey, can you help me doing this on the phone?"
"hey, do you know what,'s wrong with my computer "
And so on...
I am no tech support.
First world problems, I know 😑
Asus. I had an asus laptop and everything was fine for a year, but after a year it stopped working on battery and their tech-support representative was really rude to me + they refused to fix it.7
From time to time our internet slows down to 10kbit and latency goes over 1000ms or just cuts out completely and everyone starts screaming at me to fix it, what am I?! The fucking ISP's tech. support?!!! When it goes down it goes down, I can't do anything about it, I keep reminding everyone to keep a copy of their stuff on the NAS so they have access to it when this happens, no one ever listens to me! The only person that uses the NAS is me...
I currently work in data analysis.
Yesterday one of the colleagues working in a different department came to me asking if I could fix his malfunctioning headphone set :/3
If you're unfamiliar with this term, tech celebs are certain people in tech who are actively followed by many people (especially on Twitter).
What are your opinions on tech celebs?
I think that only a few of them are worthy of fame because of their work(actual contributions) in the field of tech. Most of them seem to be famous because of (one or combination of such reasons):
1. Regular generic tech posts on Twitter including garbage questions (to draw engagement) like "what advice would you give to your younger self?"
2. Creating controversy and getting involved in a controversy (especially when it involves womenInTech).
3. Playing victim by posting screenshots of weirdos in their dms or people who blocked them because this engages a lot of hate from people as a sign of support.
4. Work at a FAANG.13
Used to work tech support at a school.
The sheer amount of people that would come from buildings away to ask for help with the mouse or keyboard not working was weird. The annoying part, most have probably guessed, was that it was always just unplugged. Teacher's did this too.
AWS documentation and their paid tech support sucks so fucking much. Jesus fucking balls
P.S. Can any of you explain to me how to generate pre-signed url for GET request for CCP transcriptions?8
Fooling Windows is easy and fun :p
My friend got logged out of windows and recovery option was saying to wipe the syatem. There was important data in the windows ( photos, videos , project ) so I thought of a simple solution.
Booted Linux in USB and live booted it on the system. Linux can read the files from window OS. Simply copied the data to hard drive.
Windows be like Am I a joke to you11
Basic tech support scenario :
- hey I have some problems with my computer, could you come over here and help me?
- yeah I can't open my emails
Tales from University Tech Support:
Me: please send us 2 or 3 times you're available for us to troubleshoot that issue
Them: I'm available at 3:30
Obviously not a Math Major...
I suppose I'm lucky.. My family, though not exceedingly tech savvy, are all very proud of me, and support my line of work.1
I just got a mail from our universities tech support for a ticket I openend a fucking year ago... They didn't respond for a whole year and are now working on it?
One year ago I had problems connecting to eduroam on my Linux machine. No matter what settings I tried I never got it to work.
So I decided to open a ticket at my universities tech support. Fairly fast they answered me and tried to find what the problem was. Somehow only half my username made it to their server which means their is no way I can log in.
The conversation went on for a few mails but we never managed to solve the problem...
Now after one year they send me a mail stating that I can call them if I still have this problem.
Wtf? Who answeres to a ticket from one year ago? Why is the ticket still open? Did they work on it or just randomly decide to reply to old mails? Why didn't they write anything in the meantime?2
They know it has something to do with creating and modifying software. That is enough for them and so I am seldom bothered with requests for detailed information.
Also, most often, me working on hobby projects, or just viewing tutorial videos at home is looked upon as "Wasting time playing games".
Then there is also the perception of me being the family's in-house tech support guy.
Postgresql kept shutting down at odd times. Then it became predictable. I googled, went through mailing lists, archives, old threads, Stack overflow, friends, family, my bosses, my old colleagues, forums, chat groups and paid redhat support.
Apparently, I'm the only one and the first on this planet to have this problem. And it's scary.6
Has anyone worked with IP cameras? I just got a job for tech support for a company that deals with IP Cameras and they are going to have me doing network port forwarding. Any help and suggestion ?5
What is your way of diagnosing a desktop/laptop?
An employee at work told me that her daughters laptop is acting strangely and she asked me, since I am into computer and I said sure. I said to her to tell her daughter what I am specifically looking for. I never really done this before.6
Knowing way more than what your current job needs, and enough to get a decent position, but no degree/certs/multi-thousand dollar sheets of paper to prove it and being stuck in a dead end job1
I work part-time in a small non-tech company as the only developer/tech-support. The work is fine and I got a own laptop.
But fml my laptop is the slowest in office and should be burned already in the stone age.1
My dad understands what I do (or maybe he thinks he understands, but close enough). My sister just thinks I'm tech support, and any Word or Netflix related problems go to me, even though I've never used modern Word, and I can't stand Netflix. My dad's fairly competent with computers, so I don't get many questions from him, other than the occasional "how do I do this probably impossible but actually kind of clever thing?"
I don't get it.
The job listing is for a developer. I applied as a developer.
Why do they ask me whether I'd be willing to do tech support? What's their motive?6
In today’s 6 hours lab, I spent 2 hours working and 4 hours solving other people’s problems. I guess I am ready to be a senior dev or a tech support 🤔
I like the idea of it but for tech support this won’t work. Ugh I just wish they could make a GUID for every NVR model.
It was surprising how quickly I became tech support after all the little kids opened their presents this year.
Most of the time their parents didn't even look for the obvious on switch or try to put batteries in.2
So my aunt called because her phone had ran out of storage as she had "by mistake" disabled Play Store,WhatsApp, Browser, Chrome and every other fucking app, and she had to install WhatsApp back. After an hour of struggle explaining her to move her songs to memory card, enabling Chrome and Play Store, installing WhatsApp, I have started to lose faith from humaninty.
To make things worse, every Android phone manafacturer feels obligatory to change the settings app as per their wish and I didn't have a clue where the settings to enable apps were on her phone.
And I had to do all this through a phone call
And I can't say "No"
There should be a button in Android: I'm too dumb for all this stuff4
So 90% of the Tech Support team is off today. So I decided to jump in to help the guys out:
Me: *solves issue
(one less ticket to solve)
Reporter: "thank you for your help!"
(re-opens the ticket)
Me: *recloses the ticket
Reporter: "thanks again"
Me: smashes head into desk
How am I supposed to get tickets solved when most of the open tickets are "thank you's"!
Okay this is going to become an issue
With the speed at which we are developing software, there will be a time when there is no more coding left to be done and we will all be there doing tech support for everyone and will be so boring
Or, someone will develop an artificial conscience capable of developing software and all of us will be there sitting like we just got fired7
Cross-platform open-source & free password manager.
Cross-platform mobile/desktop password manager application. No backend needed, private data will be encrypted and stored in Google Drive/One Drive/Dropbox etc...
I've used multiple applications over the years but they pricey (especially if you switch platforms) and most of them don't have full cross-platform support.
Also, I've made a POC app with Ionic a while ago, but I didn't like the hybrid app feel.
Sometimes I think I am a weird nerd, one day I was writing something inside Ubuntu VM for practicing some DSP tech with Python environment on my office computer, someone DM me asking for tech support so I have to pause and go to figure it out. I wanna make some version control or backup stuffs to my little tiny cute .py files, so that I can pick it up when I was at home. And I just plugged my udisk in Ubuntu, copied those files to it, and switched USB port control permission to Windows, and finally git to commit. Actually the next time when I continued to write it at home, I hesitated for a while, should I pull it from git or just take out that udisk from my backpack? #IThinkShareFoldersAreUglyAndDirty
Graduated with an Information Technology degree and a friend of mine (who is from a non technical background) thinks I'll be working as a tech support. FML. Then later hits me up with a request to make an app for her startup. Just makes me realise people are so dumb.6
I gave computer tech support to a tech support person.
I don't know how I feel about this...
Like, Yo dawg, I heard you like tech support, so I gave tech support to tech support.
Short handed and your boss says can't you teach one of the tech support guys to help you out.
I guess ill wait until you ignore all my warnings and find out for yourself. But i am the one you keep asking questions about technology to so why do you have all the answers prepared? Why ask me?
So i just keep saying, try it. Try it your way and let me know how it goes.
I hate when my coworkers that work at call centre think programmers can be summoned to fix printer or PC in company. We have tech support for that.
I can fix the damn printer if I need to but dude dont go in like a stampedo of angry bulls.
My boss saw this and placed the do not disturb sticker on door of our section.
I feel terrible asking this because I feel like I should be able to figure it out if it's possible, but is there a way to have the devRant UWP app extend to fill my screen? That's one of the things I really liked about it before because it seemed so spacious. :/8
If there is tech support that is just plain awesome, it these:
The ones that are meh include:
So one of my aunt who is a school teacher had her Windows 10 + Ubuntu 16 dual boot laptop updated with Ubuntu 18 by the school principal. The school principal having no clue what she was doing, ended up messing up the boot manager. I hear she simply deleted the Ubuntu 16 system files to make space and proceeded to install Ubuntu 18. The school principal took no responsibility of the catastrophe because it worked fine with other laptop.
The school has no IT department or anything of that sort either.
Guess who had to help there? Me. However, I have no clue about that area, anyhow, I managed to show a way to bootup Ubuntu 18 which is what they use at school. Windows won't boot anymore.
About a month later, now I hear the drive where Ubuntu 18 is installed is full and it is causing some issues. There is no delete option on right to make space.
May God help them. 🤷🏻♂️7
I had to contact my ISP's tech support because I suddenly lost my Internet connection. I explained to the guy who answered that my router was working fine, and that my devices could connect to my WiFi network, but they didn't have Internet access.
He was so confused because he didn't understand that WiFi and the Internet are not the same thing. He then made me reboot my router and reset my configuration (like I hadn't done that before) and eventually ran out of ideas and scheduled a technician to visit my house next week. What a moron
new Rant("cartoon ep2");
// family tech support
My dad asked for help. His External HDD got corrupted. When will they ever learn? I'm teaching him to use a cloud storage right now.1
So first week working as tech support for security cameras. I realize that there are some people who will make you hate your job.
Does anyone like being the "tech support" at work. Like helping people when they cant send a basic email?7
Part of my remote work is to have a daily call reporting in on what I have done yesterday and what I am about to today. My colleague calls me for it. She's hired as a tech support and is suddenly assigned to take note and report on my work activities to our boss. Several times, I caught her pretending to know what I'm talking about like with Puppet configurations, Firewall diagnosis packets, ActiveMQ, Regex, etc. Most of the time, I just let it go as its not my job to validate her knowledge on these different but many services. Just do the call, get the report in, carry on. How difficult was that?
Yesterday, our call was left sour because I somehow blew up. I think I've reached my patience with this woman's assumptions to how these services work. Now I feel guilty for yelling at a lady but goddamn she stoopid for fibbing through my ear. Somebody help! What do I do?
If I report to our boss about her technical incompetence (politely), she might get sacked. She's a good tech support as long as she still has her trusty manuals by her, she can fix specific problems. But when it comes to unknown tech to her, she assumed she knew.
If I tell her about her weaknesses, however constructive I can get and as politely as I can get, all the while complimenting something about her, showing her how to improve herself, maybe she'll do better not to ask silly questions like buying a Puppet certificate? At least getting rid of ignorance would definitely help but not sure how she would take it. The worst thing I would imagine is her backfiring and yelling at me and then we ended up fighting.
If I kept quiet and tuck it all into a can, it will eventually implode as we go on.
This is not about her gender. I don't see her as a woman. I see her as a tech support engineer who should know her stuff.1
had to call my college's tech support today (TECHNICALLY yesterday... 0019 atm) and I had to stop several times and say "please hold, i've just broken your site."
why do i end up doing this even when i really don't want to
WHY AM I CURSED2
There is no story of tech support for my mom. Because I don’t live with my parents anymore, and my father is Head of IT where he works. So he does all the IT support at home 😂
I hate BT.
Today, it started redirecting me to a page saying, basically, to activate their DNS server on the router for "BT Protect" and "Parental Controls" to work, despite the fact that my parents never turned it on. Their support lines appear to be staffed with Indians taught to answer very basic questions, and forwarded me to "tech experts" from BT, a service that apparently costs £8 a month, because "the issue is out of their scope".
How is this even legal?1
Week 3: We might assign you to a new Java we might be creating
Week 5: So you might be working with the other team on an webapp.
That team has taken 2 weeks to decide the tech stack to use for the webapp and still hasn't decided.
Week 7: So we have only one role available right now and that's production support.
*Insert ultra rage face*3
getting put on copy of tech support questions and then the customer starts to message you directly. don't waste my time.
So, got call from fake windows tech support (India) just minutes after syncing my github Gmail to Windows 10 mail app. Trolled along while recording the audio, until he told me which command he wanted me to run. The I hung up and did a security scan.
Figured I'd learn something instead of just hanging up right away 😎3
Am I allowed to ask tech questions? Because I can't get my fucking Acer to dual boot a Linux distribution. Tried mint and lxle. Both require I go into legacy mode to boot them from USB, so I can't install them that way... Any ideas?8
I'm the tech support of my whole family. Grandmothers, mom, dad, uncles etc.
But every time my mom opens a facebook account, she calls me for gathering a new e-mail...
I am a friend of my moms 8 different facebook accounts. (probably she uses this account for games credits or like this)
Asked to speak to somebody who knows what they're talking about from tech support, at this stage I'm just pretending to do what they're asking because they clearly know nothing. At least they get to feel good about themselves after when I tell them they "fixed" the problem.
If you come to me asking for help about why my tools aren't working or other tech support questions I will immediately assume whatever info you tell me is wrong.
Where I work I'm close to the receptionist's desk so it means a phone ringing in my head all day.
I usually stay back later just so that I can work when it's quiet. You, other employee, have no soul if you caused a printer jam a full two hours after official quitting time and are now trawling IT for a support tech.
Topic: Linux (Ubuntu) on eMMC drives.
Long story short: https://youtu.be/VvmROT8LEsM
I'm pretty new to linux and my primary computer is running on windows, but I wanted Linux back again (Had it once for a short time) so I decided that my Win10 Laptop (Acer Aspire 1) has to be sacrificed to satisfy my needs.
Unfortunately it has an eMMC drive so I did a little research and found out that a lot of people had issues with them, but YouTube spit out that poorly made, but we'll explained video.
If someone else isn't sure about Linux running on eMMCs watch the video and follow the instructions.
Btw I'm using the latest Ubuntu Budgie atm.
Wish you a wonderful weekend!
Work email conversation with a COTS app support tech:
Tech: Could you provide me the following from Sql Server? (instructions followed)
Me: I am not the DBA, but I've sent them the request.
Tech: Could you send me the following from Sql Server while we wait? (Instructions followed)
Me: As I said, I don't have permissions to access what you want.
Tech: Oh, I see now, you most likely don't have proper access to be able to retrieve the information.
Me: ..yeah. Thanks.
Indian tech support just one-uped itself. They're now a web / app development agency.
Why would I even need that? I'm a goddamn webdev myself! They even said they knew that.
For fuck's sake.
Sat at my desk dealing with the same 3 issues all day, picking at a tub of Bombay mix my wife gave me for lunch....
I've decided that the 3 stranded one is my favourite part, I think it's just sev where the noodles stuck together but I can't be sure.
If anyone knows I would be grateful to find out.3
I'm currently a fresher and just got an offer for support reliability engineer( tech support in simpler terms) and it pays 5 times the average in my country with lots of perks. Also it involves no programming. I'm interested in programming, should I settle for a developer profile which pays less or a tech support which pays almost the double?9
Form an Italian Tech support.
If we will find some moths it it also possible to talk of bugs.
I fucking hate mobile and iPad ui and general ux. I hate that I get shit for not being able to fix people's problems on them quickly enough with or without googling. Apparently that's my fucking line of work, no I'm just a fucking code monkey, I don't know where whichever asshat hide the setting to Jimmy or abysmal fucking browser implementations in fucking mobile chrome that makes it unable for you to buy car parts but it fucking works fine on a desktop browser. I ront want to reset your fucking weak passwords because you never remember them.
I can't even change my fucking phones background, or figure out or I lack voicemail because my plan or the fucking optoknnisnt present (one plus 2) and don't care enough to put more time or google it.
Maybe I'm just fucking incompetent. I like being able just to right click shift on desktop, going to properties or running both commands.
I never will stop being an imposter until I can fucking fix anything like a legit engineer.
kudos for the tech-staff of the digital congress ot-world.connect for explaining how things work to all the non-tech speakers over and over again.
The answer to every level 1 tech support call about internect connectivity: