“This should be super quick.” - product manager

I feel like a fucking abomination at the moment.

I have been working on an app that is almost like Wireshark. More so for practice than anything else.

I decided that today I would try it out on the network here at my house, so I started the packet sniffer and wanted to see what was going on. I was checking for unencypted text (like telnet and whatnot) and came across this odd address that I hadn't seen before.

I did something that I shouldn't have done, and I fucking clicked and did the equivalent of "follow TCP stream" on wireshark. I fucking went and looked what the text being sent over this fucking network was.

It was my girlfriend, using fuck knows what messenger, but it was unencrypted. I just found out that she is cheating on me. I don't want to go into what the texts exactly say, because it fucking hurts me deep down.

Why didn't she just use whatsapp or something, fuck man. I really don't need this in life at the moment. I am genuinely trying to get my shit in order, I have been coding my ass off at night for extra money to make it, I have been working overtime where I can - fuck I have even tried sucking up to management (I would never do this under normal circumstances) - and to top this off, the motherfucking tax man is giving me hell.

Fuck sakes.

If you want to cheat, fucking do it properly. Because I am in a state of pure sadness and hatred and the moment - and I don't know what the fuck to do.

So my college has Apple iMacs and this is the pain I have to go through everyday.
Why can't they just clean it at least once?

I programmed.
I broke my E on the keyboard.
I can't program anymore.
I am sad.

I fucked up again.

Someone needed a flashdrive for a presentation. Forgot that I keep personal code on on of them for backups (it's always nice when there is no reception to have an offline copy of my code, for instance when we go out into the bush or to remote areas).

I gave them my flashdrive. Forgot it had the code on.

Now someone at head office has taken my program, claimed it as their own - and has just earned themselves a decent amount of money (praised in the monthly company newsletter).

My program has been stolen (by my own stupidity) and butchered. It has been made into something that it was never intended to be.

Fuck that guy.

while (programming)
{
tears++;
}

My best friend and long time crush just told me she got into a new relationship 😑

I'm here, reading rants to take my mind off sadness 😑

Whenever I feel bad, I go and help random people with their code.

I also randomly offer to help teach people Java so that they can learn best practice and perhaps not make the same small mistakes.

Such is life. My method of coping with sadness.

Guys, I'm sorry to bring the mood down but I'm having a massive issue with leaving my job right now.

It's supposed to be happening next week, it's been pushed back a lot already and now my boss is effectively emotionally and literally blackmailing me.

I wanted to leave originally to learn more from a mentor but now I'm seeing how much of a toxic environment it is and he has told me that if I left and absolutely everything I'm doing isn't done, he could sue me.

I don't define what work I get so I have no control over that so how can I ever say whether I'm fully done or not? He can just add more to it and then say it's not done. It's out of my hands. What do I do?

If I leave I'm basically guaranteeing that he'll sue me but I can't stay. I'm so angry and upset and frustrated and I just feel like a fucking wreck.

When you just finished watching Google IO and they presented lots of super cool machine learning powered stuff...

... And suddenly, what you've been working on just few hours before, feels like:
"Yay! Finally this button is changing the color of this text!"

Does anyone else feel bad when they close Google Maps before they reach their destination?

Sometimes I feel bad for Mr./Ms. Navigator when they don't even get the sense of fulfillment of saying "You have arrived at your destination".

Generic-IT
--------------
Client:"So we would like to found a new company and offer IT and network consulting. Would you be able to build our website?"

Me:"Absolutely. What will be the name of your company?"

Client:"The name is going to be 'Generic-IT'. The website is going to be 'generic-IT.com' . We checked that with google."

Me:"I am sorry to tell you that generic.com is already taken by another company. Incidentally that company offers the same services, that you intend to offer. They also seem to be quite big an have businesses in 5 different countries.
Because of this I advise you to pick a different name that does not get you into trouble and makes positioning your own brand easier."

Client:"We want to neglect that problem for now."

Me:"0.0 ..... -_-""""
"Well, listen. Apart from the possible branding and copyright problems imagine how people will find you on the web. ...What will happen if you google 'generic IT'?"

Client:"Yeah well, we want to neglect that. And with SEO you can do something about that."

Me:"..........Welllll, you that SEO is not a cure all, right? The older an bigger company will come up first. Why not avoid that missunderstanding and come up with a unique name?"

Client:"......"

Me:"Please tell me. Doesn't any part of my argument make sense to you?"

Client:"..."

Me:"Well, ok. I will send you the estimate on monday."

___________

Then over a back channel I hear that the client is ...bewildered, why I would not stick to my area of expertise.

There I was now. Left bewildered myself, being the one with the webagency that does frontend design and branding.

!rant

It has officially been 1 year since I first became a professional developer. I am 100% sure I wouldn't have survived any of it if it wasn't for everyone here.

At first I felt great, it was something I love doing and I was being paid to do it.

Soon, it became an issue as I was the only developer and I was so so inexperienced. I had so much to learn in so little time and I'm fairly certain it's aged me about 5 years, maybe more.

There was a long period in the middle when my depression kicked the fuck back in. I was in such a state of stress and panic and just sadness that I very nearly just stopped functioning.

But then I found DevRant. I found out I wasn't alone. That these thoughts of inadequacy were, strangely, quite normal and that it would all get better. Well, it did!

I have progressed and grown so much as a developer and as a human being because of people on here and that's just through rants and comments! It's insane to think about.

I just needed to know that I wasn't actually alone. That I wasn't in a dark corner, struggling against this mammoth new world I had so little preparation for and no help with.

So to anyone out there who feels the same. It's going to be okay. Don't let it all get to you too much or it'll just grind you down. You are amazing and you will get through whatever it is that's led you to this dark place.

I seriously love so many parts of the community here. You guys are the best!

This is a sad rant. Today I went over to one colleague to discuss one technical appetite I had. This colleague of mine is a very good in his skills and I never had any issue sharing my problems. Then this other colleague come over and jumps in "what's the problem tell me". I just tell him of some things I do not understand then this 2nd colleague the fucker asshole starts loudly pinpointing my lack of understanding of this and to prove I don't know more he starts asking very deep questions on the same topic. I am surprised and furious and feel like fucking him out. Above this he pats on the 1st colleagues back and start talking in things which they solved and skills they possess above the rest and admiring each other

You tit of the asses you fucker 2nd colleague go fuck yourself if you have so much attitude.

I left with mixed sadness and this huge rant against that fucker colleagues who think they stand above all because it's fuckers like you with your shit attitude of nothing.

Am I the only here who get so much PUSSY when encountering bugs in code?
P - panic attacks
U - uncontrollable anxiety
S - suicidal fantasies
S - sadness
Y - yearning to death

Just 35 seconds of latency. Not too bad, it could be worse... 😞

Boss insisted that verification link needs to be clicked from same IP address as account registration. Many arguments later, decision is final, we will ignore the numerous ways that this will be a burden to our users.

*Code code, test test, deploy*

We're getting a lot of traffic, we need this bitch to scale! *auto-scale and load balance all the things*

Account creation begins breaking at random, some people receiving the "Your IP address doesn't match" error. Look at login history table, what the shit... All recent logins coming from internal IP addressohfuckmylife need to look at X-Forwarded-For header for actual IP behind load balancer.

IP address matching feature stays. I am sad, drink away sadness.

You live in a small town and do programming, the sadness of nobody understand you hurt so much.

Those moments of pure sadness when you refractor a codebase

Good news everyone!

unset ($marriage);
If (isset ($marriage))
self::sadness ();
else
Self::joy ();

code consists of many sad dudes.

My first thought was "it can't be so hard to build a AI who simulate emotions "

So i started studying the Human brain .... well it's fu**ing complicated, but also interesting af

Still hope i can develop a little robot who have emotions like happiness, sadness or anger

That satisfaction when @dfox upvotes one of your rants.

!dev

I finally understand the sadness of losing a favorite T-shirt to old age and wear. I'll miss you buddy. 😥

when you are a 19yo trying to build a portfolio and you have a mother bashing everyday that you only spend time "at the computer" and I should get "a real job" and that "your dream will never come true" really is the biggest disappointment of my dev life.
It just builds pressure and sads me. She doesn't support me cuz I'm not "doing any money".
I feel like I should just quit everything or even disappear from this shitrock that is called earth....

But seriously, why would anyone do this?

Left my laptop at work... :/ how can I sleep knowing my dear laptop is alone and cold.. feeling sad :(

When you leave canada for 10 days and that makes you miss three hackthons😡🤕🙏🏻

She: What are you getting from writing code all day?

Me: Lots of compilation errors
and sadness

Today is my birthday and my gift is a new project that will bring angry, sadness and tasks.

One day I felt sorry for my PM:
He was on the way to present an application to a client.
The PM showed me the mess the app was while asking with sadness how he should present that buggy thing.. he and I were new to the project.
After that day I told myself I would put all of my efforts to develop for excellent quality and change the app road.

This days all he did was pressure the team to develop fast.. all my "quality work" at half. Why I care for this guys? All PMs are the same

That moment of sadness when you realise you forgot to bring your headphones to work. :(

Last Friday a coworker asked me what a Singleton is.

He graduated 3 years ago.

I think we have to improve our hiring process.

Current list of developer skills:

* Can find 3rd or 4th best solution to most problems

* Easily ready to accept blame for anything to save time since it's likely my fault anyway

* Caffeine addiction only enough to make you worry, not intervene

* Can explain how JavaScript DOESN'T work, thus getting us both closer to understanding how it does

* Only choke on parts of presentations that aren't critically important, like minor details and Q&A

* Good at smack talking other languages I also don't know how to use

* can make a mean gumbo

Me: I deprecate a react component, because it's bloated and no longer makes sense, and I let everyone on the team know that we're working to get rid of that component

Other Dev: Hmm, if I copy this component for every time that it is used, rename all of my copy's and delete the original, I got rid of the deprecated component...

Me: After hearing that deprecated component was removed... "Good job other Dev"

Me: A couple of weeks later after dev leaves company and I start adding some new features to the app "WTF"

This is a short tale that can be summed up as "oh fuck meee".

After finishing an API the night before I settled in for a day of bug fixes and tidy ups. Until slack went off.

The front end dev was getting an error, a code breaking error. After doing the standard process of request checking i went okay must be me. I find the script that is has the error and the line that it is failing at.

Que 2 hours of the full cycle of anger, sadness, pleading, and finally acepting that it had finally happened I had gone insane. The code was to documentation best practise correct and it still had the same error.

I the cheaked the DB on a whim and I found that my code was not wrong and it was doing exactly what I wanted the data however had a single record that was old and the schema had change juuussstt enoigh to break everything at that record. One 3 secound deletion later code ran perfectly.

Everytime I am sad, I feel a bit off
>sad_frog.jpg

some people are just worst than the devil.

int main()
{for (int i=0;i<5;i++)
{for(int j=i;j<5;j--)
{printf("*");
}printf("\n");
}
}

(some dude from class wrote that)

When you've been studying development for 5 years and a teacher explain to the class what a curly bracket is and where to find it on the keyboard...

Fuck NYC....just got hit with a fucking parking ticket for double parking. $115. *sigh* *pets cat in sadness*

Boss: I want Module 4 (regular complexity) done by tomorrow.
Me: *with not enough experience to get it done within a day. Still does it by staying up all night*

Next Day

Boss: I didn't want this, skip rest of the modules and jump to Module 10 (extremely complex) and I want it tomorrow.

Me: ;_;

I hate when I do CTRL + w in Firefox thinking that the focus is on VIM.

I wish I was one of those brain dead sheep that study hard, fall in love, take selfies, get a job , go clubbing, get married, attend cocktail parties and make more brain dead sheep....

Whoever said green tea helps you lose weight was right.
I accidentally spilled some on my laptop, and I can't work properly now because I've to replace the keyboard and spare parts are expensive (at least for my model).
And it'll take 3 weeks to arrive!
So with the stress of projects and deadlines piling up, yup, I'm losing weight alright!
Green tea !FTW

First rant ever... But like, I just have to... So I'm at my internship and everythings going good, I'm working on the UI portion for the Android portion of the cross platform Xamarin app, and im just frolicking through my code, making things pretty and usable like a good xaml cow, and then it hits me... The Apple portion...
Now, I have a great computer, love it to death, but it's not an Apple laptop. Which I didn't realize I'd need to have in order to develop a Xamarin app for iOS, but I didn't know that, so as I go up to innocently check off another portion of my daily coding routine, and then I see it. The "please connect your Apple computer to continue". Im here like "...", And suddenly my supervisor comes over and sees my screen blank with my utter look of confusion and he asks why the hell I wasn't working, to which I respond that Xamarin won't let me work with iOS, to which he replies "bullshit, just use the other side of your computer" I'm confused for a second and realize he means my Linux install. So I tell my supervisor politely that that side of my computer isn't an Apple computer and doesn't have an actual licence. This annoys him since he's kind of used to things going his way, so he kind of just angrily/annoyedly says to "get it working" before I clock out... So essentially, I really hate apple for making me have to own an Apple computer to develop for Apple, which I don't really like, since it's not the best computer for me and I'd much rather have a nice bulkier computer that can handle gaming, but yeah, ugh, I'm screwed b/c I don't own an Apple computer... DevRant save me from the cash sucking sadness that is Apple... ;-;

TL;DR: I kinda hate apple for forcing it's devs to own an overpriced piece of hardware to develop their software... And now my supervisor is expecting me to make magic happen by the end of my shift... Which is in 4 hours... Fml

I once agreed to maintain and develop an application used in a different section of the school to keep inventory and make sure everything is where it is supposed to be.

At first there was enthusiasm, together with 2 of my classmates we agreed and git clone-d the .NET application that now graduated students built and maintained for the past few years. What could go wrong right?!

It became clear that the original students that worked on it followed an older curriculum, meaning they still got taught .NET instead of the core variant that we get now, not only that but it also seemed that they either did not fully grasp the Clean/Onion architecture or didn't get it in class since there were infrastructure components in the 'Domain' project of the solution. Think of 2 DBContexts in the domain model, yep.

One of us bailed in the first week, the other one and I felt bad for the people using the app so we went on and tried to work on the first bugs that were described in a document. One of these bugs was 'whenever I filter on something in the list, everybody gets to see that filter on their screen instead of only me'. Woah that's weird! Let's see how they put that together!

Oh god, they are using a _static_ variable to store filters, no wonder that it doesn't work properly. Ever heard of sessions?!

Second bug: Sometimes people can't create an account when we sign them up from the admin panel. Alright that is weird, let's figure that one out! Wait a second it seems to work in development? What's this about.

Oh wait I can't create an account on production either? Oh that's weird, wait a second... Why do I have to put my e-mail in a form that was sent to me through e-mail? Why is my address not filled in already? OOH, if someone types in the wrong e-mail address (which is easy since our school has 4 variants of the same f*cking e-mail address) it won't work since it can't recognize the user! Brilliant! Remove e-mail input box and make a token/queryparam determine the user account.

Ah that seems good, it's a mess but it seems a tiny bit better now, great! We're making progress and some sweet buck.

Next bug, trillions of 50x errors on random pages, that's a weird one.

Hm everything works in development, that's odd. Is the production data corrupted?

DID I MENTION that in order to get into the system in development we have to load in a f*cking production database backup ON OUR DEVELOPMENT MACHINE and then ask one of the users' password to login to it and create an account for ourselves? Seeding? What's that, right?!

Anyway, back to bug fixing. I e-mail the the people responsible for the app and get a production admin account, oh I also can't ssh into it because of policies so I have to do everything over e-mail and figure out what's causing the errors. I somehow also wonder if they have any kind of virtualization in place, giving students a VM to do that stuff in doesn't seem so weird does it ? Even with school policies?

Oh btw, 'deploying' means sending a .zip file to a guy in another building and telling him how to configure it, apparently this resulted in a missing folder that the application needed to work and couldn't make on its own. This after 2 weeks of e-mailing back and forth.

After 3 months i quit out of despair and sadness, and due to the fact that I just couldn't do it anymore. I separated everything into logical subprojects and let the last guy handle it, he was OK with that and understood why I left.

Luckily, around that time I already had an actual job at a software development company :)

Programming helps me cope with my problems. Whenever I'm feeling down, I just fire up Rider, Unity and start working on my own little universe.

Game development eases my feelings.

Left a php job because I was fed up with php and was promised I could work with different languages.

Start new job, 2 weeks of work with a different language. A few days away from completing the micro service and it's been decided it's going to be deleted and I've been told I'm now to fix bugs in php.

Actually given up on life. Dont want to go in. Want to work at KFC. Had enough of being a php fixer :'(

Feel like the job I was sold now doesn't exist.

!dev, but I thought that this is funny, so I will share anyway.

My laptop is in a coma, it won't turn on!

Now I don't have anything to do with my life, it's been 2 days and I feel like a stone age man

The first time a dark theme made me sad.

"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."

Said to a new team member before they embarked on a journey of pain as I took them through a huge web app made with jQuery (think: 10K lines of DOM manipulation horror), WCF, and sadness.

booze is to be blamed.

Why? 😪

Last day of internship:
"You will not become a developer, at best you will be a code writter".

That struck hard at the time.

Recently I receive a ton of mails from cool/hip/rockstar startups. They all run like this:

"We are a innovative Startup based on a [insert some random stuff or buzzword] blockchain! If you're a student with skills and experience in blockchain, machine learning and AI willing to change the world with our sick technology and make it a better place..."

The best thing about this: since they are a innovative Startup they expect you to work for free.

But who am I to judge something so brand-new and innovative. I contacted them to find out what these dank innovations are about.

They can't even explain what a blockchain is or the basics of ML and AI, they basically just want someone do it for free...

It's still ok since no one is gonna fall for this bait... this morning a friend of mine told me he got a new job... and he even can work from home...

I'm not even mad, I just feel sadness and sorrow specially for him, because he is a good dev and accepts big times underpay and now free work, because he thinks a day off in his CV will lead him to be unemployed 😭

Fucking hate it how people successfuly manipulate kids and youth to them to work 24/7 for minimum wage or even for free and some other douchebags trying to take advantage of this 😡

Trying to get part time or remote mobile app development job in Milan.

Somehow got a job interview for a company based in USA for remote work. Cleared 3 rounds, got the final contract. For the final assessment, had to make changes in their existing project. Didn't get proper answer to my queries on time. Submitted results as per understanding. Got a rejection mail rn.
It was going on for 3 weeks and all my hopes were based on that.

Feeling Fcuked up.
😣

*Wonders why I never really have anything to rant about*

*Realizes I barely write code lately because of college*

*Hangs head in sadness... towards my phone to write this rant*

You know nothing client!

It's almost midnight here and I just realized something. I just realized that none of my college friends have contacted me in almost a year now... Like none of them. They hang out every weekend near the college I cannot coz im working and it has never occurred to them that "hey there's this guy that we we were together for four years with , I wonder what he's doing how's he holding up" and I wasn't even an asshole or a douchebag or something I guess I just vaporizer from their memories like a volatile liquid.

I also feel like my boss gives me nearly impossible tasks so that I fail like "design these two complete web applications in three months while you do your actual job of teaching people java for 8 hrs a day"
And now here I am at midnight sitting curled up in the corner of my bed like a paranoid chipmunk that drank a pot full of dark coffee, trying to talk to this random bunch of people from random places in the world who are doing random shit right now. And the worst part is I chose this ... I wanted this I wanted to make a difference. I didn't want to be just a cog in a machine.

If I die right now how many people would cry? I ask myself that a lot it's never more than ten. This is probably creeping u out right now so I'll probably end this.
Rest assured six hrs from now I will put my mask back on. a mask of a happy, mildly funny, averagely successfully geek, until my next date with sadness

I got an extremely hard task in the morning, I asked for some clarification and I got them at 13.23.
Boss ask for updates at 13.45 (during lunch pause).
I work on it 2 hours like never before, he calls me and I said I can manage to finish in half an hour + testing.

I work more 10-15 minutes, time is around 16.15.

2 other enormous bugs shows up on the same project, boss ask me to take care of them, and I manage in only 2h to look up something like 40 web pages and correct each of them, write reports and inform the affected people. After it I work more 15 minutes to report and finish small tasks. Ended up working almost 1h more on a non paid extra time working contract.

In the morning, while my boss was aware I spent that time

In the morning boss ask "everything went fine with the big project, right?"

Because
The
Client
Is
Angry.

I already got a burnout from this job, I really can't go on like this.

!rant.

Well, not really. I fucked up a technical interview. This is my first experience of one, a proper experience that is, and I fucked it up. My mind went blank on literally everything and I just froze.

My issue seems to be that I have a good broad knowledge of many things (I am effectively a Junior Full Stack. Python/Django, PHP, jQuery, MySQL, Nginx/Apache, Gunicorn, Linux commands/bash) but I have relatively little depth.

This has never been an issue before but holy fuck do I feel stupid now.

A few months ago I ranted about how my first encounter with Assembly was hopefully the last one

Here I am, again, with my second Assembly encounter. However, this time I'm able to read and understand it more, such that I'm even able to compute stack layouts. I don't even hate it that much anymore.

I guess I'm walking the path I couldn't defeat

*cries in %rax*

All things have ends. Nothing lasts
If I am currently sad, this situation will pass.
If I am currently happy, this situation will pass too.

If there is a bug, boss like shit.. it'll pass, it doesn't deserve to be that sad ans depressed..

If there is no bug, and the work is perfect.. it'll pass.. there will be moments when sadness come..

it's just everything is going, nothing deserves to be sad or that happy.

a man once cat a js file and cried

The fact that buying a paper train ticket from automates in Germany requires you to write your name on it afterwards with a pen is putting me through a lot of pain.

I was one of the early adapters to devrant. And I qualified for my free stickers ages ago. But thanks to the useless South African postal service, I still havent received my stickers over a month down the line :( I have so much sadness in me because I NEED these stickers!

Everytime you tell yourself "This time I'm going to make them stop putting the cart before the horse again!!! No more forced shit implementations!!! NO MORE ! I'm strong!!"

The last hour in the next week:
- Selinux: off
- Firewall: Any-Any
- Application data: Everything installed on OS disc.
- Documentation: At best, someone remembers the server supposed-to-be dns record
- Service Accounts: Your domain admin account and sysadmin for databases.
- Patching: DON'T EVER THINK ABOUT IT..AND NO REBOOTING! I have set very important runtime variables.
- Backup: Maybe someone else will set this up.
- Monitoring: Not needed since clients will create tickets if system fails.
- Production Status: vague at best. Sort of silently transitioned to production.
- Handover status: Probably, but I quit before the project closed.

!

So how many of you wake up dreading going to work?

it kills when people say dual boot Linux with Windows. I know how painful it is. as people who like to install Linux just pray why doesn't Linux supports it all. because all they want to do is use Linux full time. 😑😖😭

Echo 0 | sudo tee /sys/dev/loneliness
Echo 0 | sudo tee /sys/dev/sadness

Episode 3 of "I don't know Python"!

I've been tasked with making a development version of the site. At first we had no server access so I couldn't get the files for a week. I spent that time researching and practising starting a Django site. All of the documentation said the same things, pretty straight forward. When I eventually get to the files, the order isn't anything like the documentation, the file names are all wrong, there are 5 copies of every file spread around the server.

I am a total newbie at this but I feel like this has made it a million times harder. There is no .htaccess file anywhere, no requirements.txt, a MySQL and SQLite database backup. I don't even know where the sites root folder is.

Developers insist that I give them a sketch file instead of a zeplin doc I'm like ok fine. Then I am told in like three weeks of development that they don't understand the sketch file when they insisted on it. So I'm like ok fine let me put it on zeplin. Then I'm told to compare their work with my designs. And ofcourse it doesn't match. So i sit and literally go through each margin , each padding with them. Then I'm told that they r over riding exsisting styles and say that's alot of development so I say ok I need to ask the product owner if it's gonna take more time. They get mad at me and say why I need to ask this? Like u told me it's gonna take you longer and I need to tell my boss? Then my boss says confirm all the styles with marketing ( everyone btw has seen my designs, reviewed them, and I have confirmed literally every change) and now I've been told to change a button to red ( why r your cta's and errors the same color I have no idea ??!) And then I tell the developers and they make a huge deal about changing the button from blue to red. NO ONE HERE HAS A STRUCTURE TO PRESENT HAND OFF TO THE DELVEOPERS. ITS SO ANNOYING.

Also can I just say in my presentation time and I had spent time on my designs and someone says oh let me show everyone through my screen.

I literally got a word out before all the delveopers in the room start arguing and skipping my design slides like R FO REAL? LET ME GO THROUGH THE JOURNEY ITS MY JOB.
LET ME HAVE CONTROL ON MY DESIGNS
UAIQBA.EAUKWHWUAGWNKRVIEVJWFEJCSJCSJCAHCSHXWH

sorry. I am typing this sitting on a sofa eating cake when I'm supposed to be on a diet but I'm wallowing and crying

I don't know my problem is. I lost my motivation to code, my enthusiasm and excitement to read a code and solve a problem. My love of my life for 6 years whom I thought she's the one, gave up on us. It was a long journey, lots of ups and downs, but really worth the time and sacrifice. Now, she's doing good, very happy on her life judging from her social media. Can't believe she just moved for 2 months. To be honest, i want her to be happy but quite bitter that she just moved on quite fast. And I don't if this is the reason why I lost my motivation and enthusiasm to code. Or maybe I just don't like the project we're working on. Well, I really don't like it since it's a mobile game, I really want to build webapp or mobile app but it's too late to change the project.

I'm not like this, I used to code until morning without noticing the time, excited to solve a problem that stuck on me for quite a while. I really became a lazy person right now. I feel the pressure to finish the project but I don't see myself working on it, I don't feel interested reading a code. I just play computer games instead of working on my project during my free time. I don't know if I'm depressed. I socialized with people, have fun, happy when I'm with them, but when I'm alone, sadness starts to creep in. I feel like there's an empty void in myself. I don't know, i just want the motivation and energy to work on my project. Im tired, lazy, and feeling burnt out. If you read until this very last sentence, thank you and I'm sorry for reading this nonsense.

Am I the only one who's a final year undergraduate, but isn't sure he/she knows enough about programming and comp sci as they should?

Like I recently went for an interview with a company, and they asked what's the difference between pass by reference and pass by value. Now, this is probably a very basic qs, so I was surprised when I couldn't answer this. So I'm really scared that I don't know enough, also I'm terrible in their group exercises too, I can't see how the others can do it so easily.

Today I dont feel that good.

I have only 1 month of my holiday temporary job left. After that Im going to university, the place that i have been dreaming about, the place where finaly i would finish my projects, where i would meet people like me that could support, help me with my passions.

I have no idea where i got that wave of saddnes. Normaly i dont feel that way. Job is unconfortable and sometimes stressing a bit but it is not the end of the world.

I just want to stay in confy bed for the whole day but i cant, i need that money for uni.

I tried to code yesterday but i just couldnt focus! Always when i try to finish the project, no matter what it is i just lose my motivation, its just gone.

Sometimes I wonder if that university is going to be as good as i was imaginig it, after numerous rants on devrant about their uni im not so sure... That dosent help me with my mood.

Is my terrible mood caused by loneiness? bad diet? or lazyness?
I just dont know... I just want to feel better. I just want to survive that month somehow, without that crushing feeling and constant depression.

I told you fucking moron clients doing that "little" change would be complicated and in the worst case it would end fucking up your whole spaghetti crap. A really HUGE spaghetti monster of that you aren't aware because you guys don't know a shit about coding conventions.

*Clients call me complaining about their software is broken*

-Hey, we're in serious trouble. Our users aren't being able to see the proper calculated values. Why that little change had so much side effects?
- I already told you why.
- Can you fix it asap? Our clients are complaining.
- No. Deploy an old copy of the affected modules while you give me a prudent time to refactorize that crap.
- Refactorize?
- ...

I used to work in their place, 3 years later I quit that crappy job and decided to make them my clients. I escaped from the micromanaging thing but I didn't from their ugly practices.

Anyways, I have to fix this shit asap. Money talks, at least until I can find a better client.

The mixed feeling when you manage to give orders without giving orders:

- feeling of omnipotence: you worked behind the scenes and you got what you wanted. Nobody knows, but what the hell you are the Puppet Master, God.

- sadness and loneliness: they will never learn. Somebody else claims to have given the orders, nobody knows about you. God is alone after all. And you'll be killed one day.

So, you have some coffee, make up your mind, and sit down to begin the project you need to submit the next day.

You fire up the machine and bam! Windows takes it's April update - "Do not turn off your PC", and a fucking rotation of evil dots on the screen for eternity.

And it goes on and on, on and on, till you have lost all mood for work.

My CS grade came in today and I'm sad because even at my best I could not get through it. Even with all the time I spent in and out of class, and those sleepless nights spent programming into the morning. All this effort and I still couldn't pass this class. My final killed me, and i'm upset because I know this exam doesn't represent all that I can do. It worries me because I feel like I will be told by employers that I'm not qualified because of a number. The number isn't everything, there's a story to every number.

Anxiety and sadness grow at sunset..
Why?

After my hiatus from programming for a about 3 weeks, I have now returned to learning Java.

I realized how much I have forgotten and I now want to shoot myself in the foot. I guess at least I learned git over those 3 weeks...

Blue screen of sadness...

My new project is not getting popular... I'm sad because I've spent a lot of time thinking about it and creating it and it's bothersome that it isn't appreciated.

Long story ahead

Background:
I recently started a job in a smallish startup doing web development in a mostly js stack as an entry-junior engineer/dev. I’m the only person actively working on our internal tools as my Lead Engineer (the only other in house dev) is working on other stuff.

Now I was given a two week sprint to rebuild a portion of our legacy internal app from angular 1.2 with material-ui looking components with no psd’s or cut-outs of any kind to a React and bootstrap ui for the front end and convert our .net API routes into Node.js ones. I had to build the API routes, SQL queries (as there were plenty of changes and reiterations that I had to go through to get the exact data I needed to display), and front end. I worked from 9am until 11pm every day for those two weeks including weekends as our company has a huge show this upcoming week.

I finish up this past sunday and push to our staging environment. The UI is 5.5/10 as we’re changing all of our styling to bootstrap and I’m no ui expert. The api has tests and works flawlessly (tm).

So we go into code review and everything is working as expected until one tab that I made erred out and was written down as a “Needs to be fixed.”

This fix was just a null value handler that took three minutes and a push back to staging, but that wasnt before a stupendous amount of shit being flung my way for the ui not looking great and that one bug was a huge deal and that he couldnt believe it slipped through my fingers.

Honestly, I’m feeling really unmotivated to do anything else. I overworked myself for that only to be shit on for one mistake and my ui being lack-luster with no guides.

Am I being a baby about this or is this something to learn from?

Guys. I started with JS, now primarily code in Python, and learning Java for robotics. Coding on and off for the past 4 years. I understand most things, I can tell what code does, but I think I’m a shit programmer. I also find myself running out of ideas for simple things. I’m sad because of this cause I get most programming jokes, and live in this community.

The reason why I’m saying this is because of someone in robotics (keep in mind that it’s my first year in robotics, first time coding in Java) said (jokingly) that he thought I “was a good programmer”. Probs overthinking this, but still tears me up, realizing he’s probably right.

Oh the pain of forgetting my laptop charger! Words cannot express the level of sadness...

Today I interacted with a production IBM AS/400.

That feeling when at the last minute, after an interview they decided to reject your application 😢

wk195 sounds like people are describing the weirdest places they had sex. Lmao, I'm sure this has gone through somebody's mind at one point.

Let's see, what else to vent about. Ah yes, today I took the public transport because I had to be somewhere in the evening and I wanted to avoid traffic congestion. Guess what? I ended up sandwiched between hordes of people in public transport. I hate that much more than sitting in my car dragging the clutch. At least I was somewhat relaxed and I had my own space (so to speak). Being smooshed between a horde of stressed people? And pushy people trying to ram their way through others "I have to get out, I have to get off here" while the others are clearly heading out too? No, that's not for me.

And I know what's gone through one's mind at one point: "Look at this sad state of the world, look at the highway inefficiently and disrespectfully stuffed, look at these people, most of them wearing sad looks on their faces from the routine of life and their subconscious dissatisfactions. The current system has many shortcomings. In fact, the entire system is wrong."

Well, I'm glad I'm home now. Space, temporal as well as physical and psychological, is indeed a core component of one's space (no pun intended). It's at times like these we need to look at our lives and make the necessary changes to change at least our own lives, there that the system is hard to change.

World look so empty right now so I don’t know if whole nature disappeared because of human population growth or animals are hiding some master plan to kill us. Anyway I have a feeling we crossed a border at some point and this game is over.

When you find out the 960 EVO M.2 SSD you rush delivered isn't supported on your motherboard so you have to return it and rush deliver an 850 EVO instead.

That feeling, when you want mechanical keyboard, but you poor student and you don't have a money enough for buying at least single detail of it. So instead of click-clack you must to tap-tap on damn flat laptop "keyboard" :(

My previous post about the e repo was super funny, but sad news: the repo is gone. I started it. I should have forked it. On this day of December 10, 2018 we mark the death of the original eee repository...

I don't know why girls always leave a big cin at my messages... Maybe they are programmers too...

Didn’t touch to my arch usb install in a month (didn’t have to use it)

Ran pacman -syu.

The Internet connection is not fast, it’s been ongoing for 1 hour and will probably last for another.

i3 semicrashed, can’t close/run programs, can’t do anything.

Anyway, just wasting my time on here.

Listening to “thoughts and prayers” from grandson because of santa fe:
May their gods be with them and their families and their friends. I wish the best of recovery for the ones wounded, physically and mentally.

And for the shooter:

Take a trip to the hell of js frameworks and just stay there, 🖕you for what you did! You’re a twisted tomato burried deep in the fucking ground of sadness and horror jambled with middle fingers crooked by bullets shot from your gut and mind.

At the end of the day,

When you realise that this Bug is not that easy,

And go home sad :(

!rant

I'm having an awkward episode of excitement-fear-shock, so I don't know why I'm exactly writing this; I just needed to tell this to someone.

Few hours ago, I found out that, in a hardly believable turn of events, I have been accepted in a PhD program in the exact field I wanted, computability theory, in one of the top universities in my country. I would say this is a dream, to have the chance to study what I like most in this world, now I see I just got the opportunity to make this dream come true.

With an absurd feeling of joy and sadness, it also means that I have to let go of programming, at least as a career. I really don't know if I will have to crave for the job I have right now ever again, but I know that I won't regret this decision; this is what I want.

But anyway, I enjoy to code, and I will enjoy it any time.
dev4Life

That sadness when you cannot figure out reproduce the performance of a program and the VM won't cooperate :(

Drowning my sadness and loneliness on Netflix

Spending 40% time I'm playing a game waiting for the game to load :/
Should have gotten a laptop with a graphics card... :(

I cant get a JSON object out of my query results!! I have been trying all day and I'm so frustrated and sad. I'm new to JavaScript, AJAX, and JSON. I just want to understand this. I've seen videos, tutorials, but I never get the expected results with jason_encode. And on the client side I don't even know if the request is good since I can't make the JSON object. :(

Sadness is:

India has oneplus 3t dash sale
And not having enough point to win it.

I am unable to see anything useful in current social networks. It all looks like big advertising platforms and I am not interested in looking on ads. This personalization is so shitty that original content is very hard to find. All is so political correct and trendy and what about uniqueness of human individuals. Shitty socialists networks. Hope this website would not be another one.

Did a programming contest today. Can't say I did horrible, but I didn't do very well either.

One thing I did learn though: I prefer contests where I directly compete against other people's code (bot programming contests) over "who can comprehend and type this the fastest"

Sadness is:
1. Being assigned as mentor just because my ex-mentor wanted me to be a mentor too or did just for fun. The sad part is the mentee that is assigned to me
2. Bestie coming to my city for convocation but can't meet me because her bf wants all the time together
3. Both 1 and 2

The sadness and regret of upgrading production before the weekend accompany me to this day

Idk if it's mdd or bipolar, either way I have no way out of it's blackhole of sadness.

be me, has an internship, nobody teaches him about software tools the company uses until last month of internship....

I think sometimes I should learn by myself .... :(

2 days to deadline. Sadness.

Beating myself up at the moment. Didn’t think about how to live update something/update the info on the page dynamically. Put a cape on me because I’m feeling like a super failure right now.

So, the past 2 months I get random freezes on my OS(Ubuntu 18.04). ONLY the mouse is working, nothing else but REISUB.

This happens sporadically, but seemingly ONLY WHEN I'M 30-80% DONE AND MY "ADD" HAS ME WORKING ON 4 DIFFERENT THINGS AT ONCE.

Disabling docker hasn't helped.. Ensuring using less than 50% RAM doesn't help. Changing browsers, cleaning my VSCode extensions, shifting to XMonad(lightweight DE) from gnome(which almost worked for almost a couple of days), changing graphics drivers, downgrading kernel AND JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE.. DOES. NOT. WORK.

AAARGH MY MOTHERFUCKING 7 YEAR OLD LAPTOP WITH SSD IS PROBABLY SINGING ITS LAST TUNES. TODAY IS THE LAST TIME I'LL LET FREEZES HAPPEN.. I'M RUNNING MEMTEST86 AND WILL COPY ALL MY LATEST LOGS AND LEARN A BUNCH OF STUFF I'LL NEVER WANT TO TOUCH AGAIN. I HAVE TO SPEND SUPER VALUABLE TIME TO MAKE SURGERY ON THE MIRACLE THAT IS MY ANCIENT LAPTOP. I'M SO AFRAID THAT IT FALLS APART WHEN OPENING IT.. THE PLSTIC FOR THE COOLER IS BROKEN AND THE SHIT HASENT HAD THE BEST LIVING CONDITIONS (SOME TIMES -5c OTHER 40+)

I'm aware that I should go to the forums, which is my next move. But reading on there, it could be a graphics drive or, kernel problem, a faulty harddisk or RAM problems. It also goes without saying that I'm backing up for the 14th time the past month.

My thing is, that I have dual boot and running Windows for 14 hours straight with loads of loads, while really getting punished, renders a completely functional computer...

Last Friday a coworker told me he was planning to go to a local hackathon in the city that weekend. Then I asked him to tell me what was the app they had planned to build and he said: `Oh no, I can't tell you, a lot of ideas have been stolen this way`, I thought that was rude by not telling me but whatever.

Today, I came to work, saw him and asked how did the hackathon go and he looked at me with sadness and said: `Dude, we screw it up, we had to left the contest`, `What?` I said, `Yeah, a couple of hours before the pitch some guy came to us to review what we were doing and we presented our idea, "an app to track bus routes" and he said "there is already a local app that does that and it was the winner of a previous contest`. I told him that I knew that app and her founder, he said he wished he had told me the idea last Friday so they could pivot to something else and not leave the contest.

Conclusion: Ideas are worthless, execution is everything.

When rage turns to sadness :
With great frustration wrote and debugged android code since morning , so as a reward , I thought about rebooting my laptop once the code was working and committing it later. Code ran , rebooted my laptop and went to get some coffee, only to find that bodhi crashed and wouldn't run without live usb. No commit, no backup, all went down the drain

So I tried to fix an app today that we made for a client ...

It's a Cordova project that's basically jus a wrapper for a certain section of the client's website that's displayed inside an iframe inside said app (with a bit of additional CSS and such). It's all working fine.

Said section of the website offers two to four different options to choose from, then scrolls down (triggered by JavaScript, window.scrollTop or JQuery's equivalent) to the next selection panel that's dynamically added to the DOM tree, the content's depending on what the user selected before.

The problem is, said scrolling effect inside said iframe does not work inside the iOS version of the app (does, however, when the content of the iframe is viewed (by just visiting the URL) inside Safari), instead, the iframe just scrolls back to top.

So after five and a half hours of depression, anger and rage, also some repetetive cursing towards Apple (just like every time something has to do with their awful products), my boss walks in, looks at me and says:

"I'd be fine with it, if I just had to manually scroll instead".

.........

If it wasn't 5pm already (I usually go home at 6), I would've just left the room / gone home or gotten my salad from the fridge to have something to release my anger on.

Seriously though, what the fuck!?

School bus, why must you alarm me oh so very loudly that I can't stay in my room, sipping coffee and coding, for the entire day...

A bit over one year ago I wrote the post about my sadness because I had big problems with changing my job to developer. Today I want to share with you about my happiness because I made that big change :D From January I’m Java Junior Developer, I met many awesome people and increased my programming skills over level I could imagin. Last Monday I changed my job and back to salary from before I started coding. Curve of skills and money is going in good direction. Thanks everybody for supporting and good words :) You’re awesome ^^,

!rant
I think this message should start with an aaaaaghhh, but I guess am too sad to do that too.
Everything is going sideways, being a nice person is just a curse.
Nice ? No, i guess being simple is a curse, being stupid is even a bigger curse.
You are a fool because you are not cool . not cool enough to talk bull shit with your college friends and laugh at their ill-logical comments.
You are a fool and an easy target to be laughed at. You are a fool because you have tried so many practical experiments that failed , but you believe them to be the mistakes that made you grow, that made you learn.
These were the practical experiments that will be the point of laughter for everyone, even after years, in public. And now you will be mocked for thinking differently.
Nobody ever thanked you for the practical experiment , where you stood out of this stupid group of audience , talked to the guy at the college gate , and helped their fucking asses get in...
Nobody will ever thank you to help cancel a boring lecture for free attendance, or the 100th proxy you made for them, or the notes you shared.

Yet everyone remembers the day when you said to the examinar "no, it's a oop practical, don't ask c++ related questions, i had python as a subject in class 12th, not c++" (which is not even funny)

--------
When the college shit cracks me up , i can do nothing but be quiet about it. And deep inside it feels like am controlling my fuckin tears. And the sadness in college leads to even stupider turn of events on the way home.

Fucking messs

"XDebug is like the SELinux of PHP."

-"I know right? It's the thing you always have to disable when something weirds out."

- random dudes on the train home

I think some love might help my career. When I sleep on a bug, all I do is dream about the girl I don't have and when I wake up the bug is fixed

when your microservices go macro.....

Today I fucked up seeing that I bought a ddr3 ram registered to improve my computer :( senior hardware skills

Mfw I refresh and I see the same thing that was there before... 😢

Get nice idea to code game.
Done it in 3 hours with unity.
Feel shitty myself now :C
If someone want to take a look:
com.Erxelio.Boolean in android market

Apple really should post a link someplace for the latest Bootcamp drivers. Why is life so difficult?

The feeling when the access to a system you need the most for all your projects are being deprecated. Mhmmm my tears taste salty

So recently I've been feeling like I fooled myself into thinking I'm any good at anything regarding development.

Today I tried to deploy a Console Application that would run nightly. The production systems are much more guarded, as it should be, but I should still be able to schedule a windows task (yeah yeah, windows servers, not the time Linux fanboys and not my choice :P) no problem.

Except I didn't expect that network users can't run jobs, because of a Group Policy about saving passwords on network accounts.

I expected a local administrator account to be available, and it wasn't.

Also a web API isn't available, even though I could telnet to the address on port 443 (HTTPS). A proxy apparently accepts all HTTP/HTTPS traffic and so on.

All this I feel like I should have known....

So am I in my own head, or am I right in thinking maybe I'm not "pro" development yet? Maybe I don't deserve to be "pro".

Thoughts?

If only music was not there for me...

I spent all day working on 3 great options for a client. They look amazing and got a great review from my partner, but the client does not like any of them. They want something basic :(

Why be boring when you can have an amazing.

The sadness and happiness about code refactoring.

I was once 'fraped' by a former (non technical) manager. I decided to retaliate by returning the favour while he was out of the office, but instead of the basic toilet humour I had been subjected to, I took it one step further and posted a status on his behalf, a sensitive cry for help, full of sadness, regret, alluding to betrayal and broken friendships. The texts, calls, concerned replies and messages on Facebook started flashing up his phone. He called me demanding I delete the status now as he couldn't figure out how to do so from his phone. Needless to say he was not happy. Highly recommended.

Im hoping the dept of ed will work with me here.

i have been trying to pay off this technical debt. Otherwise, the new feature won't launch and i might screw up this contact. hope that the govt will understand that i can't pay financial debt until these bugs are resolved.

I mean that's how it works right?

damm ... hackers ...

Let us all have a moment of silence for the wasted lines used for individual variable declaration... we were so young and so dumb... YOU ARE IN A BETTER PLACE NOW!!!

"I only started tasting the worm in this handful of worms that long ago in some forgotten design document might once have been an apple when I got a load of the character animation..."
The sadness when you realise that Yahtzee Croshaw's description of Alien: Colonial Marines is also applicable to every software you have ever developed.

Just learned that spotfux is shutting down, it's unfortunate... don't know why though...