"The website must be fully compatible with Internet Explorer"
Yeah well that's too fucking bad

Was that prod?

Me: *uses HashMap* for a problem to count some elements*

Lecturer: why are you using HashMap?

Me: it's the best way of solving the problem

Lecturer: I haven't explicitly taught you what a HashMap is so why are you using it?

Me: Because I learn outside of what university teaches me

Lecturer: there's another way to do this

Me: enlighten me

Lecturer: iterate through the array using a nested for loop and count as you go along

Me: why the hell would I want to do that? That literally decreases the efficiency of my program by alot

GG lecturer telling me it's a better idea of making my O(n) runtime into an O(n^2) instead of complimenting my code.

Seriously what the fuck is up with the fucking education system. Since when was it okay to teach students how to completely fuck your code up and promote ways of making your code so inefficient?

That's fair.

Dude should have his 10 points

Recruiter: And I found your devRant account, it’s @brod right? very interesting stuff.
Me: ...

One of the scariest pumpkins I've ever seen...😂😨

Senior dev : * doesn't use git *
Me: you seriously should use git...
Senior dev: * still doesn't use git *
Senior dev: * overwrites production files with old files from other computer *
Senior dev: * talks to boss *
Boss: * gets angry at me *

My company is like:

Boss: How long do you estimate to make a universe?
God: 14 billion years.
Boss: You have 7 days. Please reserve 1 for Q&A.

He wanted a project.
I gave him a project.
He wanted to collaborate.
We did collaborate.
He wrote nothing.
He left the project.
I have to finish the project...

So I wanted to send an email to Microsoft to request a feature in their new "To-Do" app.

I went to the play store and scrolled down to the end where it says "Send an email to developer".

Clicked on that. And here is the email address:

"noreply@microsoft.com"

😑 😑

Thank you @dfox

Glad I could help with the .com domain!

Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.

I'm just really bad at finishing anythi

This happens when production issue comes between Onam (Hindu festival) celebration.

Tv hacker: I'll write code to hack their security cameras

2 seconds later

Tv hacker: I'm in

Me: go fuck yourself you fucking fuck

Prof: Okay guys, i need a flash drive to put a copy of your next project.

Me: *pulls out a flash drive and sho-..*

Prof: except you, I dont trust you.

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

I don't understand why so many people fight this war of tabs vs spaces. My colleagues elegantly solved the problem just not using indentation at all

!rant
I found ftp server login creditals from a company on google, wrote them they should change their password and they sent me a 20€ Amazon gift card.

I fucking love my parents.

Came to visit them again and told them that I might buy an iPhone in the future (I fucking hate apple/i-devices and they know that).

Mom: "You are going to WHAT? Are you okay, son?"
Dad: *walks towards me and puts hand on forehead* "Hmmm, doesn't seem to be that warm. Maybe we should visit a psychiatrist soon."

Me: 😂. mom, dad, I fucking love you.

And it ran forever

Potential Employer: So your website does not seem to work well in Internet Explorer. A lot of employers might get annoyed with it.

Me: Yeah, I don't want them to hire me or even send me a message.

I love the feeling of closing a ton of tabs after finally fixing a bug.

Will you PLEASE stop just commenting out code that doesn't work
Delete it
Please

HTML5 !

"Dad, where does the babies come from?"
"Well...err...um...do you have any other questions left?"
"What are you doing as a developer?"
🤔
"Ok...let's talk about babies..."

We are developing today the legacy systems of tomorrow.

"History is never made by those who use incognito browser"

~ William Shakespeare.

I've got 99 problems and all of them are priority one.