I want Gordon Ramsey to start a IT program in the same fashion as Hotel Hell and Kitchen Nightmares

He'll sit at a desk with a laptop, examining code as if he's eating food, venting frustrations and screaming insults out loud

Then he'll have a talk with the team and see how they work on a day

After that he'll go into the freezer (server room) and scream at mold and cockroaches

Then comes the intervention where we discover that the PM is still grieving about the death of his original programming language and the team loves him but thinks he should move on

The next day the development studio is modernised and has a candy bar, tennis table and everyone is forced to use linux on their new macbooks

Then we experience a good day where everything is great and velocity is through the roof

Then Gordon leaves and everything is shit again

Anonymous : You're an engineer? prove it. name every computer ever.

Me : ..
for (let i = 0; i < computers.length; i++) {
computers[i].name = 'ever'
}

A Twitter API issue is allowing people to (once again) bootloop iPhones and iPads with the text parser. This was just submitted to Twitter's staff, I don't see anyone talking about it yet. Disable notifications or uninstall and use the mobile site.

Manager: "If needed, are you willing to work overtime this month?"

Developer: "Yes. [ ... pause ... ] would you give me some over my salary for sometime?"

Manager: Yes, increment happens every 6 months.

Developer: "I am thinking beyond it".

Manager: "No, it is not possible"

Developer: "Okay"

** alarm clock vibrates **

Developer: "It is 5:00 PM now. I need to leave. See you on coming Monday at 9:00 AM sharp"

[Developer left]

Manager: "Byeeeee ... "

> Find new remote job that pays six figures.
> Only person in the house with income.
> Still not left alone to fucking work.

AFAJDLDHAFAHDKSLAKAGACAJFNSKDUEBXJCAWVWCSNXIXYEVXKCUDGRB/^&@FU+#9$/

JUST LET ME FUCKING WORK!

Management.

@ynnk </3

It blows.

But not much.

—_😂_—

Thanks for the suggestion Google.

Employer bans StackOverflow and Github but still wants me to develop stuff. Planning to quit.

My company just blocked devRant ip...

Well, now I need to use my own mobile data to procrastinate

Applying Css be like

So this happened in my computer science class

Creepy guy trying to be cheesy (to this pretty girl): "you're like a ; to my code"
Girl: "we're studying python, bimbo"

(Whole class laughed)

My Brain @ Day Time And Night Time

TIL you can use chrome dev tools to inspect a chrome dev tools window. Which also means you can use chrome dev tools to inspect chrome dev tools that are inspecting a chrome dev tools window. You wouldn't believe how many times I've accidentally done this now that I subconsciously know how

When you SSH into a machine and then SSH back into yours, you know you are drunk.

Oh yes the timing is impeccable

So seeing everybody posting different "volume controls" from r/programmerhumour, here is the most simplest imo

Gary's a prick

God damnit. Just when you thought you were safe..

God is one of us

Job requirements nowadays...

How it's like when having a great product idea.

My colleague managed to vertically align in CSS.

Accidently.

He doesn't want it that way.

Dafuq

Mine second one!

I don't know what to write for this. 😂

If you think HTML is a programming language, you're a fkn idiot.

Its been years since i saw my desktop wallpaper.