Why do HR hate shorts?

Wtf Microsoft...

Found out the hard way that copying a line of code from Teams chat will sometimes convert the spaces into unrecognized ASCII char.

Spent a few hours yesterday to fix the bad chars.
🤡👍

> some other team leader reviewing some code I wrote
> "NOOOO NOOOO YOU CAN'T USE ALL UPPERCASE IDENTIFIERS, IT'S BAD PRACTICE, NOBODY DOES THIS"

Today on: people rejecting PRs because they dislike a perfectly valid style for writing enums

>This

(yes, that's me)

> Startup: ok listen up, we got this super cool thing we want to do with Twilio. Doesn't get any easier: some calls to book a restaurant, you ask for booking data and save that on some db.
> iHateForALiving: I'm on it. We got a couple weeks of development, never worked with Twilio, but should be easy enough
> Startup: Hold it big guy, we can't just write code like this. There's this OTHER developer with a super cool framework he wrote himself, it supports OAuth2 and multitenancy, written in Huskell, microservices to authenticate several apps all working concurrently in our environment, some orchestrator, cloud computing on AWS, you're going to love it. There's this Postman project with 200-something calls (the ones I need for my project, one and only consumer for those APIs, are 5 including the login)
> iHateForALiving: You are aware you'll have approximately six clients and they'll pay some 30 bucks each per month, aren't you?
> Startup: You don't understand, this infrastructure is CRITICAL for the future of our company
> ffwd 6 months
> iHateForALiving: guys we had this 2 weeks project and it's taking months, I'm ready, what is going on there?
> Startup: someone killed our DB, the OTHER developer pushed on git the access credentials :(

THE FULL MOON IS DRAWING NEAR AND THE FUCKING WERECODERS STRIKE AGAIN!

THE WERECODER IS A WILD WOLF 29 DAYS PER MONTH, WITH FLEAS AND TICKS AND EVERYTHING, THEN ON THE 30rd DAY WITH THE FULL MOON IT WILL SHED ITS FUR, GROW TWO THUMBS AND COMMIT TO MASTER

Our IT team keeping our PET Production server alive by resizing partitions on the fly.
#living-on-the-edge
#caveman-practices

You dont

Rewrite in Rust or GTFO

New project consists of 3 libraries with bunch of dependencies each.
Installation script not working, so here I am combing through the haystack fixing the error messages.

I hate installing stuffs with their dependency nightmares... I just want to start developing, man...😩

Germany and digitalization....

The Bundesnetzagentur just started looking for a provider for telefax for the next 5 years, 3000 - 4000 fax per month.

Yay digitalization. Let's go hyper.

I really like the new Microsoft's WinUI website.

You have an instant insight of the quality of their UI.

I attended a webcall with the cat on my shoulder, some manager complained it was not professional.
Now, I do not know who that was so I'll have to just shoot in the crowd and take innocent victims, but from now I'll attend every single call with as many cats on screen as possible. Possible outcomes, and both are fine by me, either they cut down the amount of unnecessary calls -as to limit the amount of catness on their screen- or learn to grow the fuck up because unlike some retard I get paid for working, not for busting the balls to the people that actually work.

Ordered my first VR headset

Ouch, I have to travel to the office three times next month, fuck

In some unpredictable turn of events, ignoring my PR for 6 months will cause said code to not be aligned anymore with develop.

And it gets wilder: if you reject my PR for this retarded bullshit, I may not react in the civilest of ways.

MMMH DEVELOPER PRODUCTIVITY IS NOT THAT GREAT... YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL MAKE SURE THEY SPEND 90% OF THEIR TIME IN FUCKING CONFERENCE CALLS, THAT IS SURELY GOING TO HELP THEM GET THEIR JOB DONE

Some manager at my company, probably.

I post an answer to StackOverflow for the first time in a few months. INSTANT DOWNVOTE + "CORRECT BUT NOT `LOGICAL ENOUGH`"

FUCK YOU

thx for coming to my TedTalk

Sad but true ....

Starting my morning with some hard lemonade. It’s no single malt, but fucking hell do I need it.

Girlfriend: How much water did you drink today?
Me: About 3 litres.
Girlfriend: How much of that is coffee?
Me: 5 cups.
Girlfriend: How can you count coffee in that?
Me: Why not?
Girlfriend: It's diuretic.
Me: Yes, but it's still water that goes through my body.
Girlfriend: You're such a smart-ass, huh?
Me: Well, yes, I am.
Girlfriend: So why are you so tired if you think you're drinking enough water? Well?
Me: Never ask a question you don't want to know the answer to.

Girlfriend slammed the door.

So no, women don't want honest men. Guys, lie, lie, lie.

And now I can look at the error message.

Interviewer: Here is the interview challenge. Tell me what the expected output is. You have 5 minutes.

** 100 line class with 4 async methods that contain if/thens nested 4 layers deep that call each other and log things to the console

Dev: Ok wow this is a bit of a maze to work through but I’ll try my best.

** 1 minute later of reading through the code

Interviewer: One minute has elapsed. There is now 4 minutes remaining.

Dev: Actually could you please not interject with time updates like that while I’m reading code? It makes the challenge harder than necessary. Just letting me know when the time is up would be fine.

Interviewer: Ok.

** ~2 minutes later trying to comb through this spaghetti mess

Interviewer: What do you think are you getting close to figuring it out?

Dev: …

Throu friends,
But you later realize that there is no good companies

rewrite it in rust

Had QA call my "simple, quick" ticket a "monster ticket" in front of everyone. Hear it and weep, micromanager!

Also had them tell me i thought of everything, it was beautiful, and that i have a knack for frontend :)

NEW RULE

From the 15th minute of a meeting onward, my mind will phase out and I'll stop listening.

It's your care to make sure you say everything important before that happens.

Junior engineer asking managers on Slack about prioritisation..

Junior eng: Hey managers, I have these tasks A & B lined up and some other type of work... Is it ok if I finish A by Weds and B by the end of week or should it be done sooner? Also, is the order fine or should I prio B first?

*silence for hours*

Random dev feeling bad for junior getting no response chips in: Hey, you are doing great, that order makes sense to me and let me know if you need any guidance or have questions!

Junior dev: Thaanks and will do!

*another hour goes by*

Manager: Hi team. I have asked other engineer X to do task B tomorrow.

what the fuck. at least answer the fucking question and say it needs to be done sooner. felt bad for poor junior here. :/

The alternative.io to WebStorm

Ladies and gentlemen!

JetBrains Fleet sucks!

It's absolutely gorgeous but it sucks, technically. I mean did nobody try to edit a YAML file with 2 spaces indent in there during development??

I wasn't even able to open a fucking project with it one time. And why in gods name does it go full macos with it's design?

Loving their IDEs, but da fuck's going on with this?

less than a month left until a 365-days-long uptime of my laptop

Didn't notice the low-battery light glowing amber while watching Netflix

FFUUUCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!