Superpower to absorb blue light as a viable foodsource.

On call with customer

Cstmr: What version is this?
Me: Can I see the build number plz?
Cstmr: Yeah
Me: *checks against internal doc*
Me: It's version X
Cstmr: Are you sure?
Me: Um...I'm pretty sure
Cstmr: I'm gonna check
Cstmr: *mutes me and spends 10mins finding public version of the doc*
Cstmr: Ah, it's update X
Me: *................* yes

Overwatch 😫

Let's see if this kitty survives the code review and makes it to production.

Those popular questions in the sidebar on StackOverflow

Am I wrong?

From a life of a junior developer...
Got assigned one task for a 2 week sprint. 'Finished' it in 3 day, not actually sure it's finished as all the other devs are too busy to look at the pull request. So here I am... Ranting away and being bored

The real story: How the Apple was damaged.

*Interview for 6 month placement*

Say you are chosen for the job; where would you see yourself in 5 years?

INTERVIEWER: "I see you put 'Mime' as a hobby - tell us more about that"

ME: **Tries to leave but is trapped in imaginary box**

!rant
Making the avatar is relatively stressful due to how I wanted it to have the beard I could never attain but the sight of it still made me cringe. Plus, I wanted a pet but points requirements made me sad.

GODADDY IS THE BANE OF MY FUCKING EXISTANCE
I WOULD LIKE TO MEET THAT GUY BOB PARSONS SO I CAN STAB THAT FUCKER IN THE GOD DAMMED BALLSACK

Roses are FF0000,
Violets are 0000FF,
I'll hate scope-changing clients
While(true)

Learning to troubleshoot issues with vms. Had to break a vm with a script I was given and then fix it. Docs I was given said x error should be in y log. I check the log; nope. Check the other logs for other possible errors mentioned; nope. Turns out something else broke instead and before of the thing I was supposed to break. Rip me

Feature request: Add a popup in mobile app that asks to rate the devRant app

*muhahahahaha*

A programmer and a business analyst are sitting in the break room one day eating lunch when suddenly the microwave catches fire. Thinking quickly, the analyst leaps up, unplugs the microwave, grabs the trash can, fills it with water from sink, and dumps the water on the microwave to put out the flames.

A few weeks later the two are again having lunch in the break room when suddenly the coffee maker bursts into flames. The programmer leaps up, grabs the coffee maker, shoves it into the microwave oven, and then hands the trash can to the business analyst, thus re-using the solution developed for the previous project.

!rant
400 Nerf bullets just arrived... Office is gonna become a war zone...

Best commit message you have seen

The opposite job..

Fell asleep on my first day in my very first project. When I woke up, I saw an email from our manager with the subject "No sleeping please.". No email body. 😂

If you don't format your code correctly in a time where IDE's do it with a fucking shortcut you should boil a kettle, pour it over your useless fucking head, and throw yourself off the nearest building, you absolute useless cunt.

So if I don't update, it stays at 300++'s?

My damn 50 GB mobile broadband got used up because I did not realise that instead of using a local video for testing my website, I had set the video src to a HD version of Big Buck Bunny and disabled the fucking browser cache!

So the algorithm wanted to prove differently? has the audience spoken?

Personally I don't use Reddit nor Facebook, so I hardly notice reposts unless they come from Twitter.

I hate leaving work when in the middle of something, I tend to obsess over it all night lamenting that I didn't finish.

Today I was in a similar position but I needed input from our Finance directorate before I could finish. So I sent them an email which would mean that I'd done everything possible and could go home knowing there was nothing more I could do tonight as surely no one would be working this late.

However five minutes later they replied giving me the exact details I needed.

So yet again, I'm going home frustrated.

Why can't they be that useful the rest of the day?!

My wife is starting to learn how to code. Now is finally understanding when I say this function will be over when is over.

My workspace at the university :D

Funny SO easter egg for those who haven't already seen it...

If you navigate to http://stackoverflow.com/admin.php/ you're redirected to a random 10 hour YouTube video.

Source: /r/ProgrammerHumor/

www.stackoverflow.com

Wait, what?