It saved me from suicide.

You have to understand first that things in India work differently. Academics are not personal, but a social business. Academic competition in India is very high and not in a good way, or for the good reasons.

As a teenager was sent off from my home to the other side of the country. I didn't like it. My studies suffered, and I failed my exams. Came back home and faced months of emotional abuse (guilt trips, scornful comments, plain insults) from my parents, neighbours and relatives. Indian society is just built that way. They didn't know they were damaging my psyche, or they were too angry to care. Lots of other shit (lost friends, lost love) happened at roughly the same time period and everything started to fall like dominos.

I fell into severe depression. Lost appetite, lost sleep. Nothing mattered anymore. There were mornings when I would wake up and not get up from my bed for hours, and not even move a finger. Self-hate became the motto of the day. I became violent and anti-social. I would either be angry or trying not to break down and give up all the time. Many a night, I considered suicide. I would end up googling for easy ways out to take.

But what gave me a way out of the pains of my reality was programming. It helped my keep my head, figuratively and literally. It kept my mind distracted and gave me a sense of purpose. I would shut myself in, plug in my headphones, shut the world out and just experiment.

I am not saying that I am the best at what I do, but those sleepless and troubled nights, and many other similar nights over the years have given me a definite edge over my colleagues.

Even today, when everything is falling to pieces, I know I have something to fall back on. I still get episodes of depression every now and then, but I know I can always pick up a new project and distract myself. It probably isn't healthy, but eh...

I am alive. I code. I kick ass. My colleagues respect and value my opinion. I love my job.

Computer does what I tell it to do (mostly :p) and I feel good. Because for that small moment, I am in control of everything. For that infinitesimally small moment of my average, boring, and somewhat painful life, I am God.

Second semester

Java - OOP Course

We had to write a game, an arkanoid clone

Neat shit

And a fun course, mad respect to the Prof.

BUT

Most students, including me had this ONE bug where the ball would randomly go out of the wall boundaries for no clear reason.

A month passed, sleepless nights, no traces.

Two months later. Same shit. Grades going down (HW grades) because it became more and more common, yet impossible to track down.

3 months later, we had to submit the HW for the last time which included features like custom level sets, custom blocks and custom layouts.

So before we submit the game for review, they had pre-defined level sets that we had to include for testing sake.

I loaded that.

The bug is back.

But

REPRODUCIBLE.

OMG.

So I started setting up breakpoints.

And guess what the issue was.

FLOATING FUCKING POINT NUMBERS

(Basically the calculations were not as expected)

Changing to Ints did it's job and the bug was officially terminated.

Most satisfying night yet.

Always check your float number calculations as it's never always what you expect.

Lesson learned, use Ints whenever possible.

This fucking stupid asshole developer, wrote every single SQL execution with string formatting. Made me a full sleepless night fixing this shit. Isn’t this a classical SQL injection sample?

Thanks algo for making my day (or rather, sleepless night)

The best comment I ever read in the production...

/*
* You may think you know what the following code does.
* But you dont. Trust me.
* Fiddle with it, and youll spend many a sleepless
* night cursing the moment you thought youd be clever
* enough to "optimize" the code below.
* Now close this file and go play with something else.
*/

So, the other night I ate too much and it somehow messed up with my nervous system... I spent about 3 or 4 hours being sleepless in bed.. Until I finally decided to ask the all-knowledgeable Google assistant for help. And that's what I got.

Sleepless night are often the start of great idea's, if only i could remember them the next day after finally falling asleep

I hate leaving work when in the middle of something, I tend to obsess over it all night lamenting that I didn't finish.

Today I was in a similar position but I needed input from our Finance directorate before I could finish. So I sent them an email which would mean that I'd done everything possible and could go home knowing there was nothing more I could do tonight as surely no one would be working this late.

However five minutes later they replied giving me the exact details I needed.

So yet again, I'm going home frustrated.

Why can't they be that useful the rest of the day?!

What a fucking weekend. Tried to clone an existing windows hard drive onto a new unused one with the same size. Oh the adventure that I got myself into. 😭
Old hard drive corrupted in the middle of the process (how???). Not bootable anymore (until at the very end).
Then an odyssey started to try to rescue the old data using my spare linux drive onto a USB stick. Fucking with uefi settings and apparently a boot sequence with incorrectly named drives (?).
Had to reflash a usb stick I had for linux installation to windows installation.
I had multiple drives attached to my PC and didn't want my own ones to be overridden, so I needed to detach all drives except for the target one.
The target one had already fucked up partitions from the failed cloning, so I had to research the tools to fix it manually, not knowing what I was doing.
At the end it worked out, windows installed, data copied onto the target.
The old drive was able to recover, but I didn't give a shit about it anymore.

Was a sleepless night, spent wayy too much time with this...

Had to wake up 1 hour earlier today, and the worry of that kept me awake last night. Now I sit here like a zombie, hating the day that I'm going to have, which is not full of exciting coding with headphones on and Babymetal in my ears, but full of meetings.
I already see my eyes tearing up, reality fading, a guy in a meeting asking me something and pulling me back to reality so that I could stare blankly into his eyes and reply a generic "Yeah, I agree with your proposal", so everyone will think that I'm on drugs or something.

Welp... gotta go. Fuck.

Who has replaced a dot with a semicolon while composing a SQL query in php? Me. 😤😤😤😤😤
Two hours spent in fixing everything and a sleepless night.

Just writing this because i’m stressed as fuck and i’m currently having my second sleepless night in a row...

Like i mentioned earlier i have 4 projects on my name. Two are on a real tight deadline, the other two are smaller, more support like issues.

Last week i got asked basically to get about 20 storypoints done in two hours by my Scrum master. Ehh no. Impossible. Wish i could do magic...

Yesterday i had to make a quick hotfix between the two bigger projects. Tried to reject this but had to do this any way. (It was basically the clients fault/content)

Also, f’d it up because there are current changes that are ready for deploy but haven’t been approved yet.

Do i get a f’ckin email this morning about how the progress wasn’t followed and the git permissions aren’t right.

You fucking twat! If i i did have ANY freaking minute in my planning to actually take the time for this damn hotfix this didn’t happen any way! You’re fucking restrictions only make things harder you goddamn motherfucking morron!

Morning after sleepless night...

#just a thought
The child that is the most curious will grow up to be most boring person.

Why?
Since most other children of his age would be doing random and a lot of things without questioning , he would be struck in his simple world of 'why this happens' , therby limiting him to one but deep knowledge of a field.

And even if not , being curious leads to answers of little mysteries ignored by ususal ppl. Therefore, this boy with lots of knowledge will be "boring, coz he always have some right things to say".

Thus a child can either don't care and do whatever his authority wants from him without questioning, and grow into a likeable, social adult, or be curious , learn in deep and grow out to be a specially awkward person

I think it's going to be another sleepless night...

After working day and night, grinding it to the shit, sleepless night, got another victory in my project.

I have almost tamed Rust lang to make it dance to my will

xD

2am: I can just go to bed at 4am and get 4 hours of sleep and be fine

4am: Eh, I'll just sleep at 6am and take a nap before work.

6am: Who the fuck needs sleep? That's why I bought coffee

Log 1:

Day 10 of crunch time. I have entered a sleepless zen state. Lord willing, I will be able to get 7 hours of sleep Saturday night. The building is terrifying at night, as there are a lot of noises. Security guards are nice, but curious to see me all alone. Must not show weakness in case they think numbers will give them an advantage over me.

Supplies are low. Only one type of energy drink left in the machine, and coffee gone for the night. My phone is out of fast data so Pandora is spotty at best. I have battery to get me through the night at least.

Tomorrow and Saturday decide the fate of the project. My team lead has not slept in at least 2 days. I feel guilty napping when I do, but she is driven like Ahab so I will let her obsession carry her.

If I am alive tomorrow I will report in.

*le me being frustrated af trying to compile asm.
.section won't work for fasm. And some other things won't work for Nasm.
Now I got the .obj aka .o from the .asm. But ldrdf.exe from the nasm compiler isn't working properly. And I can't find a troubleshoot online. Seems like this will be a sleepless night...

Sleepless night
mysql -uroot -ppassword database | xz > dump.tar.xz

And I keep staring at the screen for 30mins wondering how fkin big the database is!

To be honest, I've never been drunk. Really, teenagers couldn't be drunk, yeah? Only thing I drink is a lot of coffee, yerba, and tea. Never drink yerba before you're going to sleep. That could end with another sleepless night in front of your laptop. Also, never drink yerba in public, some may call you hipster, some may call you gay. But I still don't know what homosexual thing is in yerba.

CEO wants some Genie magic!!!!

I work at a start-up were we have interns from the university go through trainings and mentorship before joing our team. Budget is very tight and spending is unthinkable.

Took me a lot of pains and sleepless night, reading of tech books and lot of strength to be were I am and I still do it because I want more but recently I got into intense coversation with CEO and he wants me to do some genie magic, he is like.....

CEO: we need more hands to do client work and build our products base , why is it difficult for New developers to start working on our code base?

ME: those guys are not developers, there is a big margin between being a developer and a university graduate in the country.

I was wondering after the whole stuff , if those guys can just grab this thing and become genius overnight, well if that happens then I am screwed, it will imply I am an asshole who spent time at simple things but we know this things can be uneasy to wrap your head around especially when the concept or language is new to you, I was pissed up at the meeting and gave some anoying unreasonable options which tells I was angry, at the end that understood my point and we got a way forward and reasonable