Life is mostly about waiting.

Waiting for code to compile.
Waiting for payment confirmation.
Waiting for food.
Waiting for gas to fill up tank.
Waiting for lights to go green.
Waiting for beer.
Waiting for waiter.
Waiting for call.
Waiting for school to finish or start.
Waiting for exam.
Waiting for job.
Waiting for application to start.
Waiting inside prison.
Waiting inside workplace.
Waiting for summer or winter.
Waiting for movie to start.
Waiting for girl to dress up.
Waiting for birthday.
Waiting for birth.
Waiting for death.

Fucking timers everywhere.

Someone got big sense of humor when developing this world.

My manager doesn't get it.

Third day at work .. finally got my laptop Yaaay!! now I can code!
Me: Can I have access to the repository?
Co-worker: we don't have one.
Me: Silent!!

I'm not sure if my in-laws know me really well, or if they are secretly plugged into Github and are making a comment on my code.

I'm tired of working for small companies.

I'm always either the sole developer, or the only dev for a specific stack, and therefore don't have anyone to ask for help. If I can't figure something out, it just doesn't get done.

It also means I don't have anyone to bounce ideas off, do code reviews with, or even friggin' have someone who understands what I do.

It sucks.

It would be nice to have someone I could actually ask for help! As it stands, I tear my hair out in frustration until I'm desperate enough to beg for help on discord or SO. whereupon, of course, I get ignored, as per usu. asdjfklasdjf

It really sucks.

It also means that I'm often surrounded entirely by sales people and managers... you know, those super-talkative people? who basically get paid just to talk? and are absolutely computer illiterate? Yeah. Think someone who says "I need my deliverables by end-of-week," "customer success representative," "turnkey solution," etc. completely seriously. (ew).

They're the people who constantly wonder why I can't push `n` features in `n/4` days, and ofc can't understand anything I say in response because of the aforementioned illiteracy. They're also the people who, almost every week, ask how long `y` is going to take, and then yell "But I need it by Friday! I just sold 50 clients on it!" (And they do this, of course, without ever asking for timelines)

It really fucking sucks.

Though I suppose larger companies would still have these problems.

but at least I could ask for help once in awhile. that would be nice.

get david() { /* ... */ }

My favourite DJ, david getter!

Heard a conversation between my colleague and the boss

Boss: (saw my colleague's messy desk) hey, could you organize your desk? It's not nice to see when clients come in. You know what they say, messy desk represents a messy brain..

Colleague: (glanced over to the boss' empty desk) and what does an empty desk say for the brain?

fuck web designers who give 0 effort for design to be coding friendly. and then want the page to be responsive. GO FUCKURSELF.

A.I steals my job; introduce devRant to A.I; A.I gets too busy ranting about all the stupid shit humans have messed up; Get my job back.

Whoever is responsible for the responsible for the refund process on airbnb can eat a bunch of dicks, watch me spill all of the fluids over his keyboard and then watch me break every single one of his/her fingers.
How the fuck do you dare to keep all of my money in some kind of internal wallet while I clearly need it to get a hotel after your starrated host left me hanging, autoaccepting but then telling me via phone that he using vacation till Friday... Half a goddamned fucking hour after I tried to call him. I want to report the shit out of this asshole, but no I can't because I cancelled my stay.
For the love of God and his creation is it this hard to punish assholes for ruining my new year and making me freeze my hand and ears of?

She said yes!!!

If I had a child I would name him or her "sudo" so I would be sure he/she would do what I say.
"Sudo don't touch the oven!"

When I'm right in the middle of a difficult piece of code/algorithm and a colleague gets me a cup of coffee without me asking

This song is the best thing I've heard in a long while: https://youtu.be/Wm2h0cbvsw8

A very dear friend decided to teach his kids programming. He has six kids but he is only teaching 3 at the moment cause the other 3 are still too young. While I choose to start off my daughter with JavaScript he choose to start off his kids with C. His reasoning is its better to learn at that level to fully understand what is actually going on. And I find myself agreeing with him.

You know what I love? When the person next to you in the office sits there loudly talking on the phone for an hour.

its 2:00 am here can't sleep. So I sat down and started fixing stuff for the projects burried in graves :/

When you are given a task or bugs to fix and your boss will tell you everytime that, "this is so easy this will be done in just 3 seconds".

WTF! Then don't hire devs and do it yourself! And start fixing all the damn bugs in just 3 seconds yourself! There are 28800 seconds in whole fucking 8 hours, I guess if we divided it by 3 you can finish a task or fix a bug at approximately 9600! (Applause) Now we are silently calling him "The 3 seconds man'.

"Yeah i use linux because its free and open source and secure!!"

*uses chrome and google*

My website now shows some devRant insights. Thanks to https://github.com/nblackburn/...

You guys have ducks to help your code work. I have Lucille to motivate it to work. ☕

He has been teaching me how to pirate movies.

Am I the only one here that doesn't have stickers on my PC?

When you check the comments under GitHub and most of them are +1

Once upon a time I tried to resolve a Qt bug and ended up accidentally destroying my whole system 5 minutes ago.

My life in one sentence...

Girlfriend thinks the only reason I feel her breasts is because I don't have a DevRant stress ball 🙈🤔🤓

git pshu
git phsu
git puhs

**when you hear me typing fast**

I am Root

If you don't see your beard growing, check for "overflow: hidden" on #face > .beard