Coffee, silence, SSD, a good IDE, and that dose of despair due to a deadline in a few hours.

Turn on WiFi on my smartphone in the morning.
Evening: realize that the WiFi had not connected automatically and I used all my mobile internet.

Whoever is responsible for the responsible for the refund process on airbnb can eat a bunch of dicks, watch me spill all of the fluids over his keyboard and then watch me break every single one of his/her fingers.
How the fuck do you dare to keep all of my money in some kind of internal wallet while I clearly need it to get a hotel after your starrated host left me hanging, autoaccepting but then telling me via phone that he using vacation till Friday... Half a goddamned fucking hour after I tried to call him. I want to report the shit out of this asshole, but no I can't because I cancelled my stay.
For the love of God and his creation is it this hard to punish assholes for ruining my new year and making me freeze my hand and ears of?

We're all just domineering egotists who get pleasure from seeing computers obediently carry out our every order.

A Developer is desperate: his java application servers are unresponsive, thousand of dead zombie threads are sucking all cpus, memory is leaking everywhere, garbage collector has gone crazy, the cluster sessions are fucked....

The Developer goes to the closest bridge, ties a stone to his neck and gets ready to jump.

Suddenly a bearded old man with a fiery look runs toward him, yelling:
- stop stop!!!! Your application is not scaling and misconfigured, your servers are melting, cpu usage is not sustainable anymore, but don't despair

The Developer, puzzled, looks at him:
-I've never seen you...how do you know...
- Hey, man, I'm the Devil. I know everything. All your problems are solved. I'll give you magic functions. They are called Lambda.
You'll never have to worry about your servers, scalability, security, configuration and shit.

The Developer seems astonished but relieved:
- Ok, sounds great! let's try it - suddenly suspicion creeps in - hmmmm but you are the Devil....so...you want something back, don't you?
(the Devil nods lightly with a diabolic smile)
- ...and...you want my soul, I guess...
- your soul??? come on!!! - the Devil burst in a laugh - we are in 2019. I don't care about your soul. I want your ass.
- What!???!!!?
- yes, I want to fuck your ass

The Developer, evaluates quickly the situation.
Few moments of pain or slight discomfort (?) in exchange for magic lambda. It could be worth. He accepts.

After a while of rough anal fucking, the devil asks
- Hey, how old are you anyway?
- 45, why?
- Oh jeeez...45!!!??? and you still believe in the devil?

as a windows10 user, I'd like to coin the term
Restartophbia
[fuhk win-dohz]
a general sense of fear and despair, caused by either seeing the words "please wait", "we're getting things ready", or "update and restart"
Restartophobia treatments include having two or more pc's, or the application of Linux on a regular basis.

> Do I have Restartophobia?
General fear from the Restart is common, and does not necessarily mean you suffer from Restartophobia. But, if you dread opening your pc, or sweat and feel unbalanced every time you open the shutdown/restart options, you might want to check your symptoms

Because blockchain is a merkle tree-like data structure that isn’t synonymous with a cryptocoin. I feel like blockchain fell into that buzz word pit, with machine learning, that execs use to try sound innovative and smart in front of superiors.

How do you survive those days of pure despair, when you just want to hide or run away, when everything you do seems meaningless? How do you find the strength to keep moving forward when the voice in your head keeps asking "what's the point?"

I hoped this would go away (or at least get easier) with age, but here I am, almost in my thirties and still haunted by the same thoughts I've had since I was a teenager.

I am roughly 12 hours away from a deadline that seemed pretty impossible.
I finally got everything to work, it seems I'm actually going to make it.
After so many hours of frustration, despair and walking in circles, it is finally fun again :)

Staring at cursed blinking cursors.
Repairing work of worst thinking workers
Reverse merges or it'll murder the servers, it nurtures despair
Amateur managers, dimwitted savages interrupt all of us janitors
Cleaning up damages, spills and experiments using skills in embarrassment
Explicit foulness, in a minute it's straight to the bowels with weapons of limitless vowels
A bittersweet hateful machete, eviscerates stateful spaghetti
The slow disease flowing from keys knowing it's going to please
The growing unease, no one agrees, there's no guarantees with your useless degrees
Need more drugs, keyboard's crawling with bugs, falling as I chug
A bottle of cognac gotta love all the hacks, no poise for code that lacks
All the noise, gotta relax, before I destroy the syntax.

Excuse me for not making sense.
Too gloomy, aching and tense.

Hey I got reminded of a funny story.

A friend of mine and me were in internships in the same company. The company was specialized in territory resources management (managing water for agriculture, money to build industrial zones...). He got the interesting internship (water predictory modeling) and I got... The repairs of a reference sheet manager that never happened to work. It was in C# and ASP.NET and I was in second year of CS. I expected the code to be nice and clear since it was made by a just graduated engineer with +5years of studies.

I was very wrong.

This guy may never have touched a web server in his life, used static variables to keep sessions instead of... well... sessions, did code everything in the pages event handlers (even LinQ stuff et al) and I was told to make it maintainable, efficient and functional in 2 months. There were files with +32k LoC.

After 1week of immense despair, I decided I will refactor all the code. Make nice classes, mapping layer, something close to a MVC... So I lost time and got scoled for not being able to make all the modifications as fast as in a cleanly designed code...

After 4 weeks, everything was refactored and I got to wait for the design sheets to change some crystal report views.

At this moment I began to understand were was the problem in this company.

My friend next door got asked to stop his modeling stuff for an emergency project. He had to make an XML converter for our clients to be able to send decentralized electrics bills, and if it was not completed within a week, they would no longer be able to pay until it is done.

This XML converter was a project scheduled 5 years before that. Nobody wanted to do it.

At the same time, I was waiting for the Com Department to give me the design views.

I never saw the design views. Spent one month implementing a golden ratio calculator with arbitrary precision because they ain't give me anything to do until the design were implemented.

Ended with a poor grade because "the work wasn't finished".

I've told the same story multiple times but the subject of "painfully incompetent co-worker" just comes up so often.

I have one coworker who never really grew out of the mindset of a college student who just took "Intro to Programming". If a problem couldn't be solved with a textbook solution, then he would waste several weeks struggling with it until eventually someone else would pick up the ticket and finish it in a couple days. And if he found a janky workaround for a problem, he'd consider that problem "solved" and never think about it again.

He lasted less than a year before he quit and went off to get a job somewhere else, leaving the rest of our team to comb through his messy code and fix it. Unfortunately, our team is mostly split across multiple projects and our processes were kind of a mess until recently, so his work was a black box of code that had never been reviewed.

I opened the box and found only despair and regret. He was using deprecated features from older versions of the language to work around language bugs that no longer existed. He overused constants to a ridiculous degree (hundreds of constants, all of which are used exactly once in the entire codebase, stored in a single mutable map variable named "values" because why not). He didn't really seem to understand DRY at all. His code threw warnings in the IDE and had weird errors that were difficult to reproduce because there was just a whole pile of race conditions.

I ended up having to take a figurative hacksaw to it, ripping out huge sections of unnecessary crap and modernizing it to use recent language features to get rid of the deprecation warnings and intermittent errors. And then I went through the same process again for every other project he'd touched.

Good riddance.

After serveral weeks of stress, bug hunting, despair and fun - I JUST COMPLETED A PROJECT MILESTONE !!

Time for a reward :]

Not actually a rant, but need some place to vent it out.

The company where I work develops embedded devices enabling the automobiles to connect to the internet and provide various end user infotainment services. My job mostly relates to how and when we update the devices.

There are about 100 different
variants of the same device, each one different from the other in a way that the process required to update for each of these device variants is significantly Different. Doing this manually would be and actually was a nightmare for almost everyone, so I set out on writing a tool that addresses this issue.

I designed my solution mostly in Python, allowing me for quick prototyping. First of all, I'd never written a single line of python code in my life. So I learn python, in matter of 2 nights. I took days off from work so I could work on this problem I had in my head. And in about 4 days, I was up with a solution that worked, reliably. I prepared a complete framework, completely extendable, in order to have room for 101th variant that might come in at any time. And then to make it easier and a no Brainer for everyone, the software is able to automatically download nightly builds and update the test devices with nothing more than a double click.

But apparently this wasn't enough. Today I found out that someone worked on a different solution in the background just a week ago, while reusing most part of my code. And now they start advertising their solution over mine, telling everyone how crappy my code is. Seriously, for fucks sake, my code has been running without issues since more than a year now. To make it worse, my manager seems to take sides with the other guy. I mean I don't even have someone to explain the situation to.

I really feel betrayed and backstabbed today. I worked my days, my nights, my vacations on this code. I put blood, sweat and tears into this. I push my self over my limits, and when that was not enough, I pushed my self even harder. But it all seems in vain today. All the hours that I spent, just to make it easier for everyone... All a complete waste. When you write code with such passion, your code is like your family... You want to protect it... But with all this office politics and shit, I seem to be losing my grip.

I've been contemplating the entire night, where I might have gone wrong, what could I've done to deserve this...but to no avail. I'm having troubles sleeping, and I'm not sure what I should do next.

Despair, sheer bloody Despair!

Programming in a nutshell

For rating rants:
count the number of fucks/curses and find the rank of a given rant!

0-5: GENTLE AS A LAMB
6-10: ANGRY GOAT
11-15: NUN WITH PMS
16-20: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
21-25: CANTANKEROUS VIETNAM VET
26-30: BREAKING SHIT
31-35: DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
36-40: BIPOLAR EPISODE
41-45: DESPAIR EVENT HORIZON
46-50: BROKEN CAPSLOCK
51-55: WOKE UP AND CHOSE VIOLENT
56-60: MID LIFE CRISIS
61-65:MASTURBATING WITH WORDS
66+ : MASTER GRAND WIZARD

So this one made me create an account on here...

At work, there's a feature of our application that allows the user to design something (keeping it vague on purpose) and to request a 3D render of their creation.

Working with dynamically positioned objects, textures and such, errors are bound to happen. That's why we implemented a bug report feature.

We have a small team tasked with monitoring the bug reports and taking action upon it, either by fixing a 3D scene, or raising the issue to the dev team.

The other day, a member of that team told me (since I'm part of the dev team) he had received a complain that the image a user received was empty. Strange, we didn't update the code in a while.

So I check the server, all the docker containers are running fine, the code is fine, no errors anywhere.

Then, as I'm scratching my head, that guy comes back to me and says "I don't know if it can help you, but it's been doing it for a week and a half now".

"And we're only hearing about it now?!", I replied.

"Well, I have bug reports going back to the 15th, but we haven't been checking the reports for a while now since everything was fine", he says as if it was actually a normal thing to say.

"How can you know everything is fine if you're not looking at the thing that says if there's an issue?!", I replied with a face filled with despair.

"Well we didn't receive any new reports in a while, so we just stopped looking. And now the report tool window is actually closed on my machine", he says with a smile and a little laugh in his tone.

In the end, I got to fix the server issue quite easily. But still, the feature wasn't working for 1.5 weeks and more that 330 images weren't sent properly...

So yeah, Doctor, the patient's heart is beating again! Let's unplug the monitor, it should be fine.

Welcome to my little piece of hell :)

My boss insists in develop the most unmaintainable ways possible like hard coding everything... EVERYTHING....
DDD (despair driven design)
😵😨

Fuck uninspired jr devs that are simply collecting a pay check.

I have been handed a project that a jr dev was allowed to wallow on for over two fucking years. This lazy mother fucker managed to create 5 functions, a whole fucking mess of bullshit that I now have to straighten out on top of the 8 other things that I have to deliver on in the next month.

They never followed requirements. Not-a-one. The API is fully broken. The DB schema is BEYOND fucked. There's ZERO validation/sanitation on I/O. The deployments only work half the fucking time. Their code is so spaghetti I'm getting triggered from when I worked at Olive Garden with Eminem. But hey, at least they were able to demo it to the client to say "it works".

I don't condone violence, but every time I find malformed if statements, linter exceptions, broken deploy configurations in this project -- I just want to kick them in their stupid fucking face.

Wherever you ended up you piece of shit, I hope your dreams of becoming a rich asshole only bring you unending despair. I believe you can make it though, because you're already halfway there.

This is a story of suffering and despair.

I'm working on a build system for our firmware. Nothing major, just a cmake script to build everything and give me an elf file.

I'm fairly new to cmake at that point, and so it's not abundantly clear to me how the `addDirectory` command works.

Now those of you with experience in cmake will say:
"Hold on there champ, this is not a cmake command, the real thing is add_subdirectory()"

Well, that is not what chatGPT told me. I still trusted the fucking thing at this point, it explained that it was in fact a command, and that it added all subsequent source files from a given folder. When I asked it to provide me with sources, it gave me a dead link in a cmake dot com subdomain.

I spent FUCKING HOURS trying to understand why I couldn't find that shitty command, I looked through that shitty page they call documentation through and through, I fucking checked previous and nightly versions, the command was nowhere to be found.

Until I found an old as time post in stackOverflow...
Someone had made a macro with that name, that did what GPT had described...

On the positive side, I know cmake now. I also don't use this fucking deep Learning piece of shit. Unless you write simple JS or blinking LEDs with Arduino it codes like a Junior, high on every kind of glue on the market.

Every time I see this my heart starts beating like crazy, I'm filled with joy and hope and I feel like living my life right. Like in the Christmas morning.

Usually, this feeling lasts until I click on the notification. After clicking on it all these feelings are usually replaced with despair, frustration and sometimes even anger.

And on the 8th day, God created OracleDataAccess, so that mankind shall understand despair.

I'm out of my mind bored. I'm an unemployed person with a great job. You'd think this would be awesome. It's torture.

I work for a consulting company. I get paid whether or not they have work for me. They haven't for several months. I'm not hearing anything. I don't know when it will change.

I'm a skilled developer in a few very popular languages - nothing remotely in the ballpark of old or obsolete. I hear that's in demand. I spend most of my time answering questions on Stack Overflow. I really like to help people, but it boggles my mind that the people struggling with the stuff I help them with all have actual work to do and I don't.

I like to learn about new stuff, but I'm just not interested in learning another framework or anything else to add to the giant pile of stuff I'm already not using. It's not fun anymore.

I don't want to do another side project, either. I have a job as a software developer. That should, at some point, involve developing some software.

This is sucking the life out of me. It's harder and harder to get out of bed and come to work. I've held off looking for another job because I'm hoping this will change. The people here are great. I could go somewhere else and it could suck for completely different reasons.

Ironically, this is close to the reason why I left my last job. Ten years ago I went through a spell where I just gave up and stopped coming to work for over a month. No one noticed. Other people were stressed about getting laid off. Some of them were. Not me.

Am I part of some weird experiment to see how insane someone can go in this totally screwed-up circumstance? Are people following me around with cameras?

I'd love to find something else, but by all outward appearances I had already found an awesome place to work. There's only one thing missing - the work.

Thanks for listening. I'm just going to put my head on my desk for a while and despair. What is wrong with this industry? We're a mess on so many levels.

Rant

So a couple months ago, my dad called me to try and solve a problem he was having in his work.
You see, my dad owns a driving school and he was teaching 14 and 15yo kids how to ride mopeds and their theory exams are made in the school's facility, by going to this website of the entity that rules the moped teaching thing. When the time to have the exams came, they couldn't even see the exams and one of the kids had one of his attempts wasted (they had 3 attempts). We mailed and called the entity multiple times, to no avail, as they told us to "check the website, the instructions are all there". They were also trying to get it together but they couldn't. Here's the "funny" part: the software in which the exams were done ran on XP and there was no way in hell we could make it work on our W10 PCs. Not to mention this is a natiowide problem.
We reinstalled Java to v.7.9 (I think...?) as the "instructions" told us, with no results whatsoever.
So my dad decided to call me and asked me to bring a PC that didn't run W10. The closest thing to XP I could think of was my uncle's Toshiba, that had Vista, so I went to his house and grabbed it and drove to my dad's school. Even in compatibility mode, it didn't work. Everyone was in despair LoL. I was even put on the phone with the entity's technician, who didn't know how to solve it either but was trying, as well with our tech guy.
After a bit of running around and crying inside, our secretary remembered we still had a tower on site that ran XP. We went for the thing and connected it and booted it up. After reinstalling Java and setting security to "medium" (required), and meddling with zoom (the window was too small to show the whole exam and if the window showed up before we set the zoom to 75% or so we couldn't choose the answers) it was finally set to do the exams.
I've never felt so relieved for solving tech stuff LoL. It took me 3h to get it done and I feel it would have been easier if we had remembered about the tower earlier but oh well what can one do.

What's with all this micro-certification nonsense that seems to plague the industry? Does anyone actually give a shit that I may have passed some vendor's five day bootcamp?

Apparently I can now have a trophy (virtual, of course) if I complete X online MS courses.

Some of these courses seem to focus on stuff that has no use in day-to-day work.

And I have to actually pay because I learned your product and then pay to maintain the cert in some cases. WTF?!

I can see why the vendors do it---I like free money too---but why have we even let this become a thing.

It's like collecting baseball cards.

I despair of what our industry has become...I really do.

Ok, so I basically spent my weekend trying to work out why the fuck my python docker container would not connect to my mariadb docker container. Tried fucking everything, bridged network, host network, links (even though theyre deprecated), you name it. It would NOT WORK!

In my despair I finally turned to StackOverflow. There I was told 5min after posting the question that the reason was probably that mysql is a quite heavy service, which takes a bit to start up.

I thought to myself "Oh, get the fuck outta here, that can't be it, shit's way too easy to work!"
I tried it nevertheless by adding a 10sec delay before querying the database AND THE MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ACTUALLY WORKS!! So, I essentially just lost a weekend because I was too impatient... I think I'm gonna punch some trees now.

I once agreed to maintain and develop an application used in a different section of the school to keep inventory and make sure everything is where it is supposed to be.

At first there was enthusiasm, together with 2 of my classmates we agreed and git clone-d the .NET application that now graduated students built and maintained for the past few years. What could go wrong right?!

It became clear that the original students that worked on it followed an older curriculum, meaning they still got taught .NET instead of the core variant that we get now, not only that but it also seemed that they either did not fully grasp the Clean/Onion architecture or didn't get it in class since there were infrastructure components in the 'Domain' project of the solution. Think of 2 DBContexts in the domain model, yep.

One of us bailed in the first week, the other one and I felt bad for the people using the app so we went on and tried to work on the first bugs that were described in a document. One of these bugs was 'whenever I filter on something in the list, everybody gets to see that filter on their screen instead of only me'. Woah that's weird! Let's see how they put that together!

Oh god, they are using a _static_ variable to store filters, no wonder that it doesn't work properly. Ever heard of sessions?!

Second bug: Sometimes people can't create an account when we sign them up from the admin panel. Alright that is weird, let's figure that one out! Wait a second it seems to work in development? What's this about.

Oh wait I can't create an account on production either? Oh that's weird, wait a second... Why do I have to put my e-mail in a form that was sent to me through e-mail? Why is my address not filled in already? OOH, if someone types in the wrong e-mail address (which is easy since our school has 4 variants of the same f*cking e-mail address) it won't work since it can't recognize the user! Brilliant! Remove e-mail input box and make a token/queryparam determine the user account.

Ah that seems good, it's a mess but it seems a tiny bit better now, great! We're making progress and some sweet buck.

Next bug, trillions of 50x errors on random pages, that's a weird one.

Hm everything works in development, that's odd. Is the production data corrupted?

DID I MENTION that in order to get into the system in development we have to load in a f*cking production database backup ON OUR DEVELOPMENT MACHINE and then ask one of the users' password to login to it and create an account for ourselves? Seeding? What's that, right?!

Anyway, back to bug fixing. I e-mail the the people responsible for the app and get a production admin account, oh I also can't ssh into it because of policies so I have to do everything over e-mail and figure out what's causing the errors. I somehow also wonder if they have any kind of virtualization in place, giving students a VM to do that stuff in doesn't seem so weird does it ? Even with school policies?

Oh btw, 'deploying' means sending a .zip file to a guy in another building and telling him how to configure it, apparently this resulted in a missing folder that the application needed to work and couldn't make on its own. This after 2 weeks of e-mailing back and forth.

After 3 months i quit out of despair and sadness, and due to the fact that I just couldn't do it anymore. I separated everything into logical subprojects and let the last guy handle it, he was OK with that and understood why I left.

Luckily, around that time I already had an actual job at a software development company :)

Oohhh, dropbox... You are pathetic.

I'm a long time dbx user. 10+ years ago they had a programme saying that each new dbx user created using my ref link [on different machines] grants me 500M or 1G of additional space in my acct. Around that time I used to actively fix/reinstall/setup others' computers, so I had an easy access to different machines. This way I boosted my dbx capacity to 27G. For free.

Since ~5 years ago dbx started spamming me with "you're almost out of storage" emails [I'm using ~80% of my 27G]. Annoying, but I understand - they have to keep with the sales. I can live with this occasional spam.

Now, since I got my new laptop, I'm setting up dbx on it. And dbx is SO desperate with their sales, that now they only allow sync on 3 devices max. I had to unlink other 17 devices I've ever logged in from before I could continue.

What's the next step of despair? Free accounts can only sync on weekends?

Come on. This looks ridiculous. Dropbox, get your shit together!

What I say: I'm a computer science major.

What people hear: I can resolve any tech issue you have or will ever have on any machine that exists in this universe. I am jacked into the Matrix at all times. I am the IT god. Look upon me and despair.

What I mean: Sometimes I try to tell the computer to do something and I cry when it doesn't work.

I started to hate programming.
I started with a lot of enthusiasm 11 years ago up to become in 2 years a full stack dev, a sysadmin and had also my fair share of technical assistance on every device plus hardware experience mounting hardware like cctvs, routers, extenders, industrial printers and so on. At the time you actually had the tools to solve problems and had to crack your head and pull hairs to solve stuff and people actually was developing solution and frameworks that solved stuff.

Today I can't stand anything.

Every midschooler feels entitled to release a framework that is announed as the next cure for cancer. Web dev once was thin and simplistic, now simplicity is considered a bug and not a feature.
I'm working on an angular project for the nth time and the whole environment is a clusterfuck of problems held togheter with kids glue.
Someone did a tool/framework for everything but most of it is barely well tested or mature.

Just to start this project we had to know, beside html/css/js techs like Angular, Kafka, Kubernetes, Docker, git, Lit, npm/node, mysql/sql server, webpack/grunt and the hell that it brings, C#/Asp.NET/MVC/WebAPI, and so on, the list is long.

DAMN. Making a simple page which shows a tabbed view with some grids requires you to know a whole damn stack of technologies that need to cooperate togheter.
It's 10x more complex and I actually find it much less productive than ever.

But what bugs me most, is that 90% of that stuff is bug ridden, has some niche use case or hidden pitfall and stuff because with this whole crap of "hey we put on github you open a ticket" they just release spaghetti code and wait for people to do the debug for them.

Angular puts out a version every 2 days and create destructive updates.

I am so tired that I spend most of my 8hrs binging youtube vids in despair to procrastinate work.
I liked to do this once....

I'm the bone of my project
Steel is my brain and fire is my eye
I have created over a thousand bugs
Unknown to people, Solve by death.
Have withstood pain to create many function
Yet, those bugs will never be solved
So as I pray, Unlimited Hope Works

😭😭😭

Added a bond interface in my Proxmox installation for added cromulence, works, reboot again, works, reboot once more just to be sure, network down.. systemctl restart networking, successfully put the host's network back up.. lxc-attach 100, network in containers is still down apparently.. exit container, pct shutdown 100, pct start 100, lxc-attach again... Network now works fine in containers too.

Systemd's aggressive parallelization that likely tried to put the shit up too early is so amazing!
I'm literally almost crying in despair at how much shit this shitstaind is giving me lately.

Thank you Poettering for this great init, in which I have to manually restart shit on reboot because the "system manager" apparently can't really manage. Or be a proper init for that matter.

/rant

And yes I know that you've never had any issues with it. If you've got nothing better to say than that then please STFU. "Works for me" is also a rant I wrote a while back.

That feeling of despair when you have to build a feature on top of 2 year old code with no comments

>Get java "From zero to hero" book at the age of 12
>Follow along and despair at all the java jargon
>write small programs for fun
>ff to 14yo
>Get my first android phone (galaxy S3)
>Get android 4.0 book
>Follow along and despair at all the android jargon
>Develop small apps for fun
>Learn Java, C and python for the rest of high school
>discover functional programming (erlang/elixir) towards the end of highschool
>love_at_first_sight.jpg
>Learn said language
>Find first job and current job right after that
>happy

Being distracted from despair for a couple moments.

Last week some Client Service broad called my team the equivlent of "code monkeys" to my face.

I was THIS close to bitchslap the bitch!

Today I just told her I would pass the next two of her projects to my "code monkeys". I could see the despair in her eyes :)

A few months ago I ranted about how my first encounter with Assembly was hopefully the last one

Here I am, again, with my second Assembly encounter. However, this time I'm able to read and understand it more, such that I'm even able to compute stack layouts. I don't even hate it that much anymore.

I guess I'm walking the path I couldn't defeat

*cries in %rax*

This one feature won’t stop producing bugs and the deadline is in a couple days and I am getting sucked into the hole of despair. I wanna return to monkey.

I love Unix systems because everything goes smoothly most of the time but today... Fuck me... I just wanted to see how many lines my script was with "wc - l" but I couldn't remember "m" or "w". 180 degrees separated despair and monotony, although I didn't know it yet. I did "mc - l" first and midnight logged empty ftp buffer to my file. Goodbye Thursday and Fridays work :) I should commit more often.

Staring at a CSV file full of data looking for that one extra comma or stray double quote or some out of place Unicode character that might exist but you don't know which of the hundreds it could be feels like staring into a pit of despair.

I am become gradle
destroyer of builds
look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair

Why can't zip/tar tasks work like copy tasks? Whyyyyyyy?

I got it working--abusing tasks.create--but hot damn this should be easier.

When depression set in, I thought pain relief lied in getting duller. People I called “stupid” — who lived simple lives filled with alcohol and lack of any talent or purpose — weren't suffering. Better even, they denied the existence of depression.

My “wish” was granted when they prescribed cariprazine. In two months, I lost my ability to read, let alone code.

Before that, even depressed, writing a simple email/password auth was a matter of ten minutes in any of the languages I knew how to do web in (JS, Python, Clojure, PHP). But on cariprazine, I remember myself not quite getting what an HTML form was.

Tell you what… you should never wish to become dumber. When I was smart and depressed, the pain was real, but it felt like… let's say a breakup. When I was dumb and depressed, it felt like being raped with a red-hot soldering iron. Or like being skinned alive. Or like when 100% of your skin is a third-degree burn. The pain weren't listening to me, as my mouth was glued shut as if I was Keanu in the first Matrix movie. You can't say, do or think anything, at all, to ease your pain somehow. You can't even realize that just DMing or calling someone is probably a good idea.

Instead of you vs. despair situation from when you were smart, now it's just despair that is actively melting you, so you two become one. Even time loses its meaning. There is nothing out there but suffering.

If you're smart(er than I was at my lowest), DO cherish it. Losing that will spell disaster. So stay away from substances that can facilitate that loss.

Wasted 2 days working on an obj (3d model) exporter….messed up meshes … missing faces … despair build after build …

And then the realization: Vertices in obj are 1-indexed.
…
..
.
FUCK
nobody learned anything from the array start at 1 meme

Sooooo I learn c. Programmed antivirus project last night, and there is 13, 374 bytes of memory leak. (BTW the program crashes at return 0). *Rage and despair*

I made this bad decision to buy pretty pricey laptop with nVidia card. Lenovo Legion Y520.
So yeah, have you heard about optimus technology and how much one can hate nvidia?

> Debian is working, nice.
> Let's try nvidia-driver.
> 48hours later: WOoooooah glxgears at 120 fps!
> Installed some fonts. "Could not load gpu driver". HDMI port stops working. Unable to repair. Entering despair.
> Surviving on dual-booted windows.

halp

Yeah so I quickly hacked stuff together. Why make it beautiful before I know whether it will actually do? Hack now, refactor later!

Yeah and then that moment in refactoring where main() gets under 700 lines and I don't know whether what I'm feeling is joy or despair. Gaaaahhhh!

At least I have also written automatic tests so that I can see when something breaks.

Bloody effing hell...

> Senior leaves company payroll
> senior level stuff falls on my desk
> I've been working on a completely different product for almost a year, so I'm still kinda trying to get reacquainted with the product I'm a regular dev resource of
> feel completely lost
> try to implement the feature
> realize it requires a certain package
> package breaks the whole application, completely
> try to debug
> despair

It's this kind of days, when the imposter's kicks in. I feel like this should be a pretty simple feature to implement, and I'm just missing something that's right there before my eyes. I'm trying to remember this sat on the senior's desk for nigh a year, and I know he at least at some point actually tried implementing it, so me being not far above a junior shouldn't feel ashamed.

In times of darkness and despair break the glass and purge the caches.

I miss psychological safety. I'll define it as the willingness to be vulnerable to criticism and the belief that contrary opinions are embraced and judged on their merit.

When I first entered the startup scene my manager had exceptional candor. He had no qualms talking about how kids and personal projects caused his investment in his work to wax and wane.

He always made time to talk to me when I was frustrated and made me feel like he truly listened to what I had to say, even if he didn't act on it.

At the time, I attributed the safety to the company culture created by the CTO. The startup failed and eventually, I found my way to that CTO's next startup.

Completely different experience. I find myself in despair as I hear "I'm more senior and therefore am right and don't have time or interest in your ideas" blatantly stated.

When I disagree with people, I try to ask clarifying questions to identify where the divergence occurs. Sometimes I'm surprised and learn something new, sometimes my questions prompt reconsideration.

With the CTO (now CEO), we go in circles where he squirms, deflects, and outright refuses to respond to my questions. He cancels 75% of 1:1's and when we do talk he suggests that if I disagree I "should introspect which of my beliefs is holding me back from embracing his superior way of doing things"

Multi-hour slack wars suck the life out of anyone trying to ask questions. It's so exhausting to ask questions it's often cheaper and faster to wallow in despair for an hour and hack something together than descend into people shouting preferences at each other and shaming me for not already knowing the answer.

Perks, pay, and tech-stack are all cool. It feels selfish to be unhappy because I can't innovate or challenge the status quo. Having tasted that safety though, I'm left with an unquenched thirst that grows stronger with every conflict.

Opinion: Tuesdays and Wednesdays are much worse than Mondays.

You can prepare yourself for a Monday. But nothing prepares you for a Tuesday. Tuesdays are just gloom and despair

Whoever made these fucking AIML libs that are unmaintianed for eons should fucking die.

Seriously, I want to make a fucking AI in AIML in Node.js but I can't because none of them ever fucking works

Jesus fuck you fags should go to hell, get your soul forked by Satan and and rot in despair you impregnated wankflaps

1) Learning little to nothing useful in formal post-secondary and wasting tons of time and money just to have pain and suffering.

"Let's talk about hardware disc sectors divisions in the database course, rather than most of you might find useful for industry."

"Lemme grade based on regurgitating my exact definitions of things, later I'll talk about historical failed network protocols, that have little to no relevance/importance because they fucking lost and we don't use them. Practical networking information? Nah."

"Back in the day we used to put a cup of water on top of our desktops, and if it started to shake a lot that's how you'd know your operating system was working real hard and 'thrashing' "

"Is like differentiation but is like cat looking at crystal ball"

"Not all husbands beat their wives, but statistically...." (this one was confusing and awkward to the point that the memory is mostly dropped)

Streams & lambdas in java, were a few slides in a powerpoint & not really tested. Turns out industry loves 'em.

2) Landed my first student job and get shoved on an old legacy project nobody wants to touch. Am isolated and not being taught or helped much, do poorly. Boss gets pissed at me and is unpleasant to work with and get help from. Gets to the point where I start to wonder if he starts to try and create a show of how much of a nuisance I am. He meddle with some logo I'm fixing, getting fussy about individual pixels and shades, and makes a big deal of knowing how to use GIMP and how he's sitting with me micromanaging. Monthly one on one's were uncomfortable and had him metaphorically jerking off about his lifestory career wise.

But I think I learned in code monkey industry, you gotta be capable of learning and making things happen with effectively no help at all. It's hard as fuck though.

3) Everytime I meet an asshole who knows more and accomplish than I do (that's a lot of people) with higher TC than me (also a lot of people). I despair as I realize I might sound like that without realizing it.

4) Everytime I encounter one of my glaring gaps in my knowledge and I'm ashamed of the fact I have plenty of them. Cargo cult programming.

5) I can't do leetcode hards. Sometimes I suck at white board questions I haven't seen anything like before and anything similar to them before.

6) I also suck at some of the trivia questions in interviews. (Gosh I think I'd look that up in a search engine)

7) Mentorship is nigh non-existent. Gosh I'd love to be taught stuff so I'd know how to make technical design/architecture decisions and knowing tradeoffs between tech stack. So I can go beyond being a codemonkey.

8) Gave up and took an ok job outside of America rather than continuing to grind then try to interview into a high tier American company. Doubtful I'd ever manage to break in now, and TC would be sweet but am unsure if the rest would work out.

9) Assholes and trolls on stackoverflow, it's quite hard to ask questions sometimes it feels and now get closed, marked as dupe, or downvoted without explanation.

An iterative process of "plan, do, test, improve" shouldn't leave an engineer's head. If we outsource "plan" to a manager, "test" to another blabbering idiot with a corporately purchased donut hanging off his mouth, the cycle becomes too long to actually work. Multiplied by an engineer's despair because he's obviously clever enough to see the whole picture, this is a recipe for disaster.

Throwing man-hours in there won't solve anything.

Shit bathed and stack smashing ass loads of fuck.

I wrote a virtual machine, and just to fuck myself harder, I make the decision of applying some fancy dumbass theories of mine. This translates to a piece of shit modular design that works exactly as intended, but constantly gives me vietnam flashbacks to the horrifying, multiple concurrent instances of my younger mind being incessantly turbo-raped by the dozen object-obsessed pedophiles that I initially studied under.

Now, were they *actual* pedophiles? No, of course not. But I have to make fun of the acronym somehow and that's what came to mind, leaking horse dung all over the walls, floor, curtains and carpets.

Anyway, I feel so smart after this traumatic experience I just have to keep doing it to relive the terror once again. Find me in the corner, laying down in the fetal position, sobbing until the tears build up and drown me in this well of despair, or rather this finely shit painted portrait of a toilet in a lonely and stinking unisex public bathroom stall.

But let me squeeze these fucking tits a little bit harder, because that's my actual day job. That's right. I get PAID for slapping around mammary glands, it's not much but it's an honest living.

So where was I? Ah, yes, absolute degeneration. I'm truly the Max Wright of programming, mostly for smoking crack and having unprotected sex with homeless people, but also for keeping alien life forms in my basement that go out at night to hunt for sweet feline delight.

But as I keep going, I decide I want a language for the machine so I don't have to punch bits by hand all fucking day like an idiot, so alright let's make a small assembler for this shit... oh, right, except it's not small, because gently suckle the bile out the lips of my fucking butthole.

I may redefine a load of shit two months down the line, so I have to make everything perfectly encapsulated and easily fucked with -- which in my licking vomit off the floor of a porn theater travesty of a case means I'm generating half the code and scrambling as hard as I can to glue everything together.

Does it work? Of course it works, I'm Max Wright bitch. I can redefine the ISA all I want, anytime I want without breaking anything because of my pristine crackhead encapsulation. And to credit the scrambled eggs I have for fucking brains, it's not even *that* complex.

The problem is I keep forgetting shit, not how it works, just that it's there. So I forget that I have a virtual machine, and I forget that I have an assembler, and so I spend an entire day trying to figure out how the fuck I'm going to handle a loop inside an unrelated interpreter.

By the time I manage to remind the drooling undead jackass that is this husk that my irredeemably demonic self inhabits, that we can easily solve this by using the tools we've already built, it's so late and we're so tired there's not much we can do. All this time, WASTED.

Which circles back to crack. Are you tired of blowing your babysitter for cash? Have you considered suicide by a thousand used trojan condoms? Is your roommate possesed by the forces of Avernum, and now seeking all-destructive vengeance against your rectum?

Try no other than Soul Excision, the treatment that will neuter your being and curse it to the TRUEST form of eternal damnation! Through Soul Excision, you will be CUT OFF from the very essence of the universe, and turned into an astral prostitute that offers their EVERY orifice to the BUTTLOADS of maggots that debour their mind and body, all for the pleasure of some rich and powerful wankers that *deeply* enjoy watching questionable erotic tapes from nightmarish outer dimensions!

Use my promo code SLUTSKANK for 20% OFF in your very LAST purchase on this earth! And once you surrender your BODILY holes to cosmic oblivion, remember: when it comes to your ASS, we're ALWAYS open for business!

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Google AdWords api makes me not want to be a Dev anymore.

My first rant/rage/despair moment ever was in university during a Java course where I thought I had completely lost the plot at the first exercise.

I was misspelling system.out.println() and kept writing down system.out.print1n()

That was a long day... :/

Luckily I never make 4-hour debug typo's anymore now that I'm a real developer (I wish)

Hey just brainstorming a business/ startup idea I may try out sometime down the line. I wanted to put it in writing available to my peers for review. If that sounds boring, sorry.

So I've had an idea and I know it's a million dollar idea because it's absolutely boring as fuck.

Recently I have been learning about NoSQL and it has gotten me pretty excited about unstructured data.

Now the first thing you should know about me is I like to make business software. I don't like games or social networks or blah blah blah, I like business stuff. One dream I have always had is to make THE business solution. I've noticed so many specific business solutions for very specific areas of work. Specific software for car washes, which is separate from the software for car maintenance, which is separate from the point-of-sales software, which is separate from the [...]

One of the problems with this is the inconsistency. Modular is good, but only if the modules are compatible. They aren't. Training needs to be provided for each individual system since they are all vastly different. And worst of all, since all of these different applications reach their own niche market, they charge out the butt for things that are usually very simple "POST a form over http(s)" machines.

I mean let's not get too dreamy here. My solution is an over-complicated form-builder. But it would be a game-changer for small and medium-sized businesses. Allowing users to build their own front-end and back-end disguised as a drag-and-drop form builder would be THE alternative, because they could bring all of their solutions into a single solution (one bill!) and since THEY are the ones that build what they need, they can have custom business software for the price of a spreadsheet program.

The price difference we could offer would be IMMENSE. Not only would we be able to offer "cookie-cutter" pricing as opposed to "custom" pricing, but since this generic solution could be used for essentially all of their systems, we aren't just decreasing one bill. We're decreasing one bill, and eliminating the rest entirely. We could devastate competition.

"BUT ALGO", you scream in despair, "USERS AREN'T SMART ENOUGH TO DRAG AND DROP FORM PARTS TO MAKE A FORM"

I mean ya true. But you say that like it's a bad thing. For one, we can just offer a huge library of templates. And for another, which is part of the business plan, we can charge people support dollars to help them drag and drop their stupid fucking forms!! Think of the MONEEYYYY YOU COULD MAKEE BY EXPLAINING HOW TO COLLECT FIRST AND LAST NAMEEE. Fuck.

The controls library would be extensible of course. You would be able to download different, more specialized controls if you need them. But the goal would be to satsify those needs with the standard collection of controls (Including interesting ones line barcode scanner and signature input and all that). But if all else fails, maybe someone made an open source control for you to implement and ignore that stupid donation button. We all do.

This could PURGE the world of overpriced and junky specialized business software, and best of all, it's aimed at smaller businesses. With smaller businesses making more profit, they will stay afloat better and may start to compete with their larger foes. Greater for the entire economy.

Anyways, I'm sure it's full of holes. Everything always is. But I still think it's something I'll try before I die.

First rant here

Well thing is that my CS school did have teachers and half the grade was from a product presentation and half on teammates reviews.

My teammates mostly didn't have any idea what SOAP was. That was the theme of the project and we had to make a Webservice which they didn't even understood what it meant.
I spent one day from 8am to 1am trying to explain, in despair I ended up not sleeping, not eating, working 24/7 all the week and collapsing of exhaustion.
I was taken to the hospital, got back home but have lost time and had only implemented 3/4 of the functionalities.
The others (6) only did managed to make a basic GUI I would have to link myself. One of them, the project manager had done testing and lots of good stuff, made a 80pages report but the other 5 were shitty.
They all gave me the worst peer review grade but the manager, they got A I got C (ABCD scale).

Had a Long discussion with stake owners and PM. Ended in despair over corporate guidelines and impossible demands from the board / CEO.
PM finally said: Fuckit, let's get a beer, i'm buying.
Best day so far this week.

As I settled into my armchair with a steaming cup of tea, I thought back to the time I almost lost my heart—and a small fortune—to a smooth-talking scam artist. It all began innocently enough when I joined a dating site after my children encouraged me to put myself out there again. That’s when I met David. With his charming smile and heartfelt messages, he made me feel seen and cherished. We talked for hours about everything—from our favorite books to our dreams of traveling the world. I felt like a teenager again, butterflies in my stomach as we planned our future together.

But soon, the conversation took a troubling turn. David claimed he was stuck overseas due to a sudden medical emergency and needed money to pay for treatment. My heart ached for him, and against my better judgment, I sent him several wire transfers, believing I was helping the love of my life. Weeks passed, and suddenly, the sweet messages turned into silence. It dawned on me that I had been scammed. Just as I was drowning in despair, I heard about a group called Specter Lynx. I reached out, sharing my story with them. They sprang into action, tracking down David’s digital trail and uncovering the web of deceit. With their help, I was able to recover a significant portion of my lost funds. Now, I not only have my money back, but I also have a newfound appreciation for caution—and the strength of community. I often share my story, reminding others that love online can be a double-edged sword, but with a little vigilance, you can find your way back.

pick up bug

it sends you into the legacy monolith

despair, lost and hopeless

Despair +
Craving sweet stuff +
Quarantine lead to a new interesting search algorithm.

I call it diabetes search.

It find's anything edible with enough sweetness or taste.

Current result is promising.

I found couverture chocolate, cocoa powder, maple syrup, vanilla sugar, crunched haselnuts...

I had some eggs, flour, and milk left.

The kitchen looks like in the movies.... When a martial arts battle took place inside a kitchen.

And I'm slightly comatose.

But: Pancakes with something Nutella like. Just more nutty.

Diabetes search very successful.

A third day of misery. Will the light shine again or will our protagonist plunge into abyss of despair?

You will find that in the next episode of "The Meh-man"

I'm stuck in a rented apartment in my work-city and working from 'home' during the quarantine. Now, the owner wants me to leave for a month while he shuts down the place - right after the quarantine ends - when I HAVE TO GO TO OFFICE.

:]

Every single morning I despair. I can’t stand this job.
Why pay very highly and get very skilled people to have them working 4 to a support ticket. Doing the most mundane support tickets you have ever seen in your life (mainly updating client contact details)?
And why have such a rigorous recruitment process to get people’s in in the first place?

The company is pissing money away by working like this and all the new starters like me think it’s complete shit.
But the bosses and anyone who’s been here a while think it’s great. Company still is making loads of money so they don’t even care about it.

I’ve never met senior developers who have never worked on a greenfield project in their entire careers until I came here.

I can’t believe how I got suckered into this (was head hunted).

Does anyone have a feel for the UK contracting market right now?

I’m considering the jump but I think I’d have to be looking for remote only contracts because where I live has few opportunities ‘on-site’. Preferably c# / angular.

Is there much competition for roles or is there a shortage of skills in the contractors?

The thought of going into another permanent role that could be as bad as this genuinely keeps me awake at night.
I’m not sure I can go somewhere and then have it in the hands of managers to decide what projects I’m going to do and what tech it will be on.

At any big company there’s going to be tech debt as well as new work. So becoming perm now feels like it’s 50-50 whether or not a new job will just mean being put into legacy stuff for a couple of years or doing something that is actually good.

I’ve been talking various people about roles in government departments (multiple different departments are hiring) and because priorities change none the gov recruiters can guarantee what the work is that they’re recruiting for actually is.
Just that the the big recruitment push is to bring work previously done by consultancies back in house. Presumably because consultancies have been fleecing them.

I despair at how most devs don't want to learn or self reflect if their code is clean.

It makes me hate this job some days.

When you spend all day searching for a bug that prevents you from proceeding but it was your fault all along...

I've learned more about stochastic by watching my miserable dqn , trying to determinate whether it's actually learning something or not, than in all the math classes I ever visited.
May write an epic about depths of despair next.
Probably qualified to lead humanity into battle against the machines.
Reconsidering life choices.
Decided never to have children.

"The Perils and Triumphs of Debugging: A Developer's Odyssey"

You know you're in for an adventurous coding session when you decide to dive headfirst into debugging. It's like setting sail on the tumultuous seas of code, not quite sure if you'll end up on the shores of success or stranded on the island of endless errors.

As a developer, I often find myself in this perilous predicament, armed with my trusty text editor and a cup of coffee, ready to conquer the bugs lurking in the shadows. The first line of code looks innocent enough, but little did I know that it was the calm before the storm.

The journey begins with that one cryptic error message that might as well be written in an ancient, forgotten language. It's a puzzle, a riddle, and a test of patience all rolled into one. You read it, re-read it, and then call over your colleague, hoping they possess the magical incantation to decipher it. Alas, they're just as clueless.

With each debugging attempt, you explore uncharted territories of your codebase, and every line feels like a step into the abyss. You question your life choices and wonder why you didn't become a chef instead. But then, as you unravel one issue, two more pop up like hydra heads. The sense of despair is palpable.

But, my fellow developers, there's a silver lining in this chaotic journey. The moment when you finally squash that bug is an unparalleled triumph. It's the victory music after a challenging boss fight, the "Eureka!" moment that echoes through the office, and the affirmation that, yes, you can tame this unruly beast we call code.

So, the next time you find yourself knee-deep in debugging hell, remember that you're not alone. We've all been there, and we've all emerged stronger, wiser, and maybe just a little crazier. Debugging is our odyssey, and every error is a dragon to be slain. Embrace the chaos, and may your code be ever bug-free!

Best horror quote ever
"Wtf are you ?"
"À man who wanted to be a god but changed his mind gonna be rotten shit from now on. I'm going to show people what waits for them on the other side and I will make... Despair"

Day... or... umm... Night 6 of devWholesome...

Happy Halloween folks! Today we celebrate spooking ourselves on purpose to feel anything but despair in the hell that is quarantine. Go watch a scary movie or have a small little halloween party with your family! Comment on this post if you celebrate halloween, what you are dressed up as, and what you are doing to celebrate. And as always make the most out of your day... I mean... night!

the bittersweet relief/despair when your veteran senior tells you that it's a legacy mess you're dealing with here, and that's the basis of the tips/strategy/context given in a task

Started a new job at the same time as another guy. We are doing pull requests, I leave a comment about a one line improvement.

"This is not part of my task. If you want me to do extra run it past our bosses. You can't tell me what to do."

I despair.

i just despair on Android Studio.. holy shit i only see old Greek

Heres a truly vitrolic and unnecessary rant:
Package control for sublime is all well and good
through the command palette, but it's just
fucking retarded. How about you point me to a
FUCKING COMMAND to actually INSTALL A
MOTHERFUCKING PACKAGE YOU
FINGERPAINTING FUCKWITS?

Under babel plugin while browsing packages
on packagecontrol.io:
"Find it as Babel through Package Control."

FUCKING HOW?

What command?

What fucking command? How do I "Find" it?
The browse command just opens my
motherfucking browser. How do I fucking install
your fucking packages you assholes?
"Use autocomplete" except your god damn
autocomplete doesn't list "install package"
for some god damn reason because everything
web is a broken pile of utter shit, built
on a more shit, like a leaning garbage tower
of bullshit waiting for the smallest mistake to
take down the entire house of cards like
someone removing a leftpad on npm.

Maybe specify I have to enter
"install package" and THEN hit enter, and THEN
enter the GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING package name
on a separate god damn line for
some fucky reason.

Next time don't make a tool that breaks
motherfucking conventions. It's bad enough
every fucking look-at-me-im-smart cunt of a
dev and their dog has to invent a CLI and
then go and invent a new domain specific
language too motherfuckers.

Next tool that breaks convention around me is
gonna see the dev lit on fire.
fucking uppity cunts.

"Say thanks" the site say. I am not
feeling fucking thankful at the moment.

The least you can do if you're going to
contribute to open source, is not make things
actively fucking worse, least of all in the
fucking *documentation*.

FUCK count for this rant: 19 / 50,
RANK: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC

0-5: GENTLE AS A LAMB
6-10: ANGRY GOAT
11-15: NUN WITH PMS
16-20: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
21-25: CANTANKEROUS VIETNAM VET
26-30: BREAKING SHIT
31-35: DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
36-40: BIPOLAR EPISODE
41-45: DESPAIR EVENT HORIZON
46-50: BROKEN CAPSLOCK

50+ : MIDLIFE CRISIS / MASTER GRAND WIZARD
OF RANTS AND ANGRY-WORD MASTURBATION.

If you prefer to cheat, you may also include any
cursewords in general, but be warned, you'll
never know the sweet taste of victory when you
achieve the rank of master grand wizard.
Like when you were a kid, and you discovered
gameshark, and all your hopes of finishing that
one game became but a ruthlessly hollowed out
husk, somewhere where could-have-been childhood
memories and nostalgia go to die like the
graveyard of dreams
(the same place officer workers souls go).

I've just joined a new company out of despair after several month out of jobs without being able to even get interviews.
I've been warned about the code being a bit behind with modern Android stack, they needed to migrate from rx to coroutine and compose is not a priority at the moment.
Fine with it, I like handling and planning migration, that's a nice challenge.
But if only that were the only problems !! Far from it, the code is a formidable mess, I've never seen so much amateurism... Most of it was written from the previous Lead Dev who stayed there for years and touched everything with their very bad practices.
I don't even know where to start honestly...
While the code is in Kotlin, it stink Java. Nothing wrong about Java, but if you code in kotlin, you need to understand what kotlin try to achieve. And that's not the case here. There is freaking nullable everywhere, for no reason at all, the data classes contains lot of var in their constructors, equals are override to compare only one or 2 params and no hashcode override with it.
Sealed class, what for ?! Let me just write a List<Pair<Enum, Any>> and cast your any depending on the enum !
Oh and you know what, let's cast everywhere, no check, and for once no null safe, there is enough nullable in the code !

What about the reactive part ? well let's recreate a kind of broken eventbus with rx ! Cause why not ?!
The viewmodel observable don't contain data, they just contain enum for the progress of the states we're checking.
In the viewmodel function we update that enum states and emit it to be observed and make the data available as a var for the view to pick it up when needed.
But why put the business logic in the viewmodel, let's put in the views, and grab and check the variable contain in the viewmodel whenever it fits.
Testing the business logic ? uh let me just test my variable initialisation in the viewmodel instead.
The vm, the views, make about 2000 lines, the test over 3000, and not a single test really test the business logic in it ! I've made big refactoring we're all the tests stayed green, while the function are full of side effects ! WTF ?!
Oh and what about that migration from rx to coroutine ? well better not break the existing code and continue writting like rx, everything is cold flow ! We just need to store a boolean saying if we already did our call to the data layer then we decide to start our flow or not.
As for the RecyclerView, having too many viewHolder is just so annoying, let's put all our different views in one, and hide what we don't need.
Keystore has been push on the repo, but it's private no ? So who cares ?!
And wait i'm not done ! Some of the main brick of the apps depends on library that hasn't been updated for years, and you know what... yes they were hosted on Jcenter and it's only now that they decide to do something about it, we we're warned about the sunset of jcenter 2 years ago !!!!
So what about compose ? What do you want with compose ?! there is no design system in that app obviously, so don't even think about it !
And there... among all of that mess, I'm supposed to do code review... how the fuck do you do a code review when all the code that is around stink ?!
And there is so much more but by now I'm afraid you're thinking i'm just pissing on the old code like everyone... but damn I guarantee, that's the worst code I've ever seen, and i've work on more than 15 app from small to big on different contract with a lot of legacy code, but nothing that bad !

While developing whatever website that uses Boostrap, my boss always says:
"PLEASE JUST USE BOOTSTRAP CLASSES to make it easier for everyone else to actually operate on that after you're done"

I'm now working on a project started by him and OMG the mess.

The only bootstrap classes he's using are col-* and text-*, the rest is all custom classes like nopad, which is the equivalent of p-0 m-0.

I mean, I might get you use less bytes writing nopad, but be consistent with what you say

today i learned that not all jsons must be enclosed in curly braces {}

a valid json can have it's outermost things be square brackets as an array []

this is a special kind of pain and despair

Once upon a time in the exciting world of web development, there was a talented yet somewhat clumsy web developer named Emily. Emily had a natural flair for coding and a deep passion for creating innovative websites. But, alas, there was a small caveat—Emily also had a knack for occasional mishaps.

One sunny morning, Emily arrived at the office feeling refreshed and ready to tackle a brand new project. The task at hand involved making some updates to a live website's database. Now, databases were like the brains of websites, storing all the precious information that kept them running smoothly. It was a delicate dance of tables, rows, and columns that demanded utmost care.

Determined to work efficiently, Emily delved headfirst into the project, fueled by a potent blend of coffee and enthusiasm. Fingers danced across the keyboard as lines of code flowed onto the screen like a digital symphony. Everything seemed to be going splendidly until...

Click

With an absentminded flick of the wrist, Emily unintentionally triggered a command that sent shivers down the spines of seasoned developers everywhere: DROP DATABASE production;.

A heavy silence fell over the office as the gravity of the situation dawned upon Emily. In the blink of an eye, the production database, containing all the valuable data of the live website, had been deleted. Panic began to bubble up, but instead of succumbing to despair, Emily's face contorted into a peculiar mix of terror and determination.

"Code red! Database emergency!" Emily exclaimed, wildly waving their arms as colleagues rushed to the scene. The office quickly transformed into a bustling hive of activity, with developers scrambling to find a solution.

Sarah, the leader of the IT team and a cool-headed veteran, stepped forward. She observed the chaos and immediately grasped the severity of the situation. A wry smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"Alright, folks, let's turn this catastrophe into a triumph!" Sarah declared, rallying the team around Emily. They formed a circle, with Emily now sporting an eye-catching pink cowboy hat—an eccentric colleague's lucky charm.

With newfound confidence akin to that of a comedic hero, Emily embraced their role and began spouting jokes, puns, and amusing anecdotes. Tension in the room slowly dissipated as the team realized that panicking wouldn't fix the issue.

Meanwhile, Sarah sprang into action, devising a plan to recover the lost database. They set up backup systems, executed data retrieval scripts, and even delved into the realm of advanced programming techniques that could be described as a hint of magic. The team worked tirelessly, fueled by both caffeine and the contagious laughter that filled the air.

As the hours ticked by, the team managed to reconstruct the production database, salvaging nearly all of the lost data. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. And in the end, the mishap transformed into a wellspring of inside jokes and memes that permeated the office.

From that day forward, Emily became known as the "Database Destroyer," a moniker forever etched into the annals of office lore. Yet, what could have been a disastrous event instead became a moment of unity and resilience. The incident served as a reminder that mistakes are inevitable and that the best way to tackle them is with humor and teamwork.

And so, armed with a touch of silliness and an abundance of determination, Emily continued their journey in web development, spreading laughter and code throughout the digital realm.