And yet so true... Except the throw away part...

The list gets longer....

Saw-ftware engineering horror movie concepts

HR sent around updated contracts asking everyone to sign them since the company changed its name, fair enough.

In the contract it stated "Your normal place of work will be X" - only X was many miles away, and I'd never worked there, never planned too. Assumed it was a mistake, sent it back. HR refused to change it, stating that the "normal place of work does not need to be the place where you normally work."

A lot of back and forth entailed, I refused to sign, I was reprimanded for not doing so, I was asked what my problem was as it made no material difference, and then I eventually replied with:

"Angela, I'm refusing to sign this as it's factually incorrect. No further explanation is required. I'll maybe consider signing this if you sign a piece of paper declaring you believe the moon is made of cheese, and you're the cow the milk came from to make it."

A very strongly worded email came back about how this was going on my record, I needed to offer a formal apology, etc. - all cc'd to my manager. I replied back, again copying my manager in, stating that this was ok, as I couldn't remain at a company who forced employees to sign dodgy contracts anyway.

Problem was (for them), I was a *massive* single point of failure for them at this point owing to some others leaving with no handover - hence I knew I wasn't going to be the casualty here. My manager flipped the lid at HR, got the CEO involved on threat of *him* leaving, and the whole thing massively blew up. Happy ending in that the HR person in question was fired, everyone else's contracts also had to be redone (I assumed everyone else just signed without looking which is worrying), and I actually got a pay rise out of it when higher ups realised the massive single point of failure I was.

But damn, I would've walked over crap like that. Walked pretty soon after anyway!

Uh oh

Marketing: it's not working...

Me: *fixes bug and pushes changes in less than 5 mins*

Me: Well it's working for me

Marketing: strange... it wasn't working 5 minutes ago...

I love their faces of confusion haha

The best motivation to quit Image Classification... x_x

My brain at 5:00 AM

My young brother just destroyed everyone at a speedcubing competition!

4x4, 3x3 one handed, 3x3 regular (the main event), skewb, pyraminix — all 1st places!

The zuckerweb.ai knows what goes on in your deep subconscious

It's painful.

Indian web dev company (during the interview)::
We follow standards

Me:: Hey, can I get the project's github link so that I can fork it, do my tasks, run test cases, push and, make pull request that you can review, run integration test, and finally merge.

Indian web dev company:: What?? Here's the ftp credentials.

Me::

Then there's this key. Anyone ever find it useful?

Sysadmins should not be doctors

The internet dev community is so funny
-Everyone loves js
-Everyone hates js
-Everyone loves react
-Everyone hates react
-Everyone hates angular

Me: We should organize our code before it gets out of hand.

Team: Maybe later

Team, 4 days later: WTF why can’t I find anything in this 1000+ line main.js file???

Okay you made that product... Now go find a salesperson.

😲‍🤓 ♂️!🤷

I mean, fevers are technically overheating tho..

Well, that's one for the bikeshed. Jonny Lee Miller would be proud.

I picked all Spiral galaxies you dumb fuck!

programmers relationships ...

Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

Be me:
> turns on laptop
> enter funky town password
> presses enter
> expects wallpaper to show

Be windows:
> fuck you mother fucker!
> surprise asshole
> I magically updated on you without warning

Fastest way to make visitors leave your website forever:

Sleep servers, I never thought of that 😂

I really hope you enjoy this joke

Didn't see that coming

The Handover!

It’s my new title

Ever happened to you?
With me, it always happens when I code !! LOL 😂.
Favorite language C++, tell me yours.