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Search - "doctors"
If Doctors Were Like Coders
(cross-posted from https://medium.com/@c09b6133a238/...)
Problem: The patient has a broken leg.
1. Ask the patient to reproduce the exact scenario that resulted in the broken leg. Watch closely to see if the leg breaks again. Check for consistency by repeating the scenario a few more times.
2. Explain that this isn’t an intended use case for the leg, and besides, it only affects one person. Ask the patient if, all things considered, he really wants to prioritize his broken leg over your other work.
3. Point out that the patient’s other leg performs just fine under the same circumstances. Ask if he can use his other leg instead, at least as a workaround.
4. Attach several accelerometers to the broken leg and break it again. Stare at the data received from the accelerometers, then shrug and declare it useless.
5. Decide that the patient’s problem must be in his spleen. After all, that’s the only part of his body you don’t really understand.
6. Track down the people who created the patient. Ask them if he’s ever had spleen problems before. When they seem confused, explain that he has a broken leg. Ignore them when they tell you that the spleen they created could not possibly cause a broken leg.
7. Ask Google where a person’s spleen is. Spend half an hour reading the Wikipedia article on Splenomegaly.
8. Open the patient and grumble about how tightly-coupled his spleen and circulatory system are. Examine the spleen’s outer surface to see if there are any obvious problems. Inform him that several of his organs are very old and he should consider replacing them with something more modern.
9. Compare the spleen to some pictures of spleens online. If anything looks different, try to make it look the same.
10. Remove the spleen completely. See if the patient’s leg is still broken. If so, put the spleen back in.
11. Tell the patient that you’ve noticed his body is made almost entirely out of cellular tissue, whereas most bodies these days are made out of cardboard. Explain that cardboard is a lot easier for beginners to understand, it’s more forgiving of newbie mistakes, and it’s the tissue franca of the Internet. Ask if he’d like you to rebuild his body with cardboard. It will take you longer, but then his body would be future-proof and dead simple. He could probably even fix it himself the next time it breaks.
12. Spend some time exploring the lymph nodes in the patient’s abdominal cavity. Accidentally discover that if the patient’s leg is held immobile for six weeks, it gets better.
13. Charge the patient for six weeks of work.14
If programmers were doctors.
Doctor A: the patient is having heart attack
Doctor B: we have to reproduce the heart attack to be able to heal him
Doctor C: why dont we just remove the hesrt and install a new heart
Doctor D: human heart are bad, maybe we should use animal heart25
I wonder if those people who give unwarranted useless advice to developers go to their doctors and do the same thing.
- Doc, just make a small slit, take out old heart, put in a new one, connect everything back as before and stitch it. Easy peasy. Shouldn't take more than a few minutes.
- my leg is fractured. Just open it and tape it back. It is a hack job, but it'll make the client happy for now. It will be quickly done.
- I think I have cancer. Just write a script to kill it. Shouldn't be too difficult.
Wouldn't be amazing if we could charge like doctors?
User: good morning engie, just here for my checkup.
Engie: everything seems to be working perfectly with your laptop. That would be 70 bucks.
Not comparing professions just a random thought.12
Doctors called me back, I’ve got brain decompression surgery in a month... fuck my life. If it’s not one fucking thing it’s another.12
I used to work in a call center for a local hospital.
One night, all of our lines are swamped. Literally no time for a break between phone calls, +15 minute wait times. I answer the next call:
Me: "Its a marvelous Monday at AskIT, how may I help you?"
Doctor: "This is Dr. [Noone Care]. I need you to fix my password now."
Me: "Absolutely! You should be able to enter a new password now."
Doctor: "MY HANDS ARE NOT FOR PASSWORDS, MY HANDS ARE FOR SURGERY!"
😩 So glad I don't work for doctors anymore. Oh and the best part is, he had selected the general phone queue, rather than the doctor queue (~3 minute wait time instead).7
_An engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle._
_Suddenly he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop. He went to him & said.. "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back"...So why do I get such a small salary? and u get huge sums_....!
_The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said.... "Try the same when the engine is running_."
_The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said_
_I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . . . . . . . can you_ ???
👌👏 *Not only Classic but Epic*_ 😂😂👍10
LOL, imagine doctors working on side projects over weekend .... "curing neighbour's cancer,boy it's fun" ... "got a new liver to play with,yay!" ... "analyzing my bloods samples and WTF is that?" :D
I develop apps for a medical school. You'd think the students would be pretty bright, but it legitimately scares me that some of these people are going to perform brain surgery.
I guess the moral of the story is you're not too dumb to get that dream dev job - if these morons can be doctors, you can do what you set your mind to. And you can feel good knowing your mistakes won't kill anyone!9
I was out Thursday at the Hospital. I'm what the doctors would call "Ill as fuck"
So, Friday I’m back in the office to the usual: "How was that appointment?"
I know people mean well when they ask this. So, I do the polite thing and tell them it went as well as it could.
Realistically it does't matter how well it went... They haven't cured Crohn's because I showed up to the appointment. They know I'm fucked already.
But, push it down, add it to the future aneurism.
I had to go through the usual resignation meetings with managers:
"We"re fucked now you're going"
"we need to get a handle on how fucked"
"already done that for you, here"s a trello board, very fucked."
"we need to put a plan together to drop all the junior devs in the shit with the work you’ve been doing"
"You need about 4 devs, please refer to the previous trello board for your plan"
Meanwhile, me and Morpheus are in constant communication because all of this is like a Shakespearean comedy.
So, I overhear a conversation between a Junior Dev and the Solution Architect.
[SA] took over the project because he knows better than two tried and tested senior devs -_- (fuckwit).
JD: "It took me one and a half days to build it out"
SA: "Yeah, it must have taken me twice as long... It must be a problem with the project, you should just be able to check it out and run it."
JD: "I know, it has to be wrong"
All of this is about Morpheus' work of art, of an Ionic 3 hybrid app.
I fumed quietly at my desk because I've been ordered by the Stazi to be hands off.
Since Morpheus and me were pulled from the project [JD] and [JD2] were dropped into it to get it over the line.
It"s unfortunate and I was clear and honest with my advice to them: I personally would not take over the project because I"d be way out of my depth... Oh, and the App works, so uh, there's no work to do.
They have been constantly at our desks. Asking fuckdiculous questions about how to perform basic tasks. So they can get Morpheus" frigging masterpiece to the user.
It"s like watching that touch up of jesus that got borked by an amateur. Shit I have google, it's like watching this happen: http://ti.me/NnNSAb
[JD] came to me Friday evening.
"I can’t get this to build to iOS or install on [Test Analyst]'s phone."
Me: "No worries brother, where are you stuck right now?"
[JD] describes the first steps with clear indication he hasn't googled his problem.
Life lesson: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=lmgtfy
Que an hour of me showing [JD] how to build an Ion3 project for iOS. Fuck it, your man's in a bind and he"s asked politely for help. I can show him quicker than he can read 3 sets of docos.
I took him through 'ionic cordova build ios', the archive and release processes in XCode 9, then the apk bundling process for droid. Finally we have an MAM so the upload process for that too.
All the while cleaning up his AppIDs, Profiles, deployment attempts.
Damn they were a mess.
I did this with a smile on my face, not because I could say "I told you so"... But. because when any developer asks you how to do something. If you know how to do it, you should always be happy to learn them some new tricks!
Dude's alright, he's been dropped in the shit. Now I know how badly so I'll help him learn things that are useful to his role, but aren't project specific.
As a plausi-senior dev (I'll tell you about that later); it's my job to make sure my team have what they need to go home smiling!
I’m not a hateful fucker, the guy asked me an honest question so I am happy to give him the honest answer.
I took him through it a few times and explained a few best practices. Most were how to do his AppID and ProvProfile set up. Good lad, took it all on board.
However! In his frustration, he pointed the finger at Morpheus' "David" (ref: Michelangelo).
He miraculously morphed into a shiny colourful parrot and fed me SA's line:
"you should just be able to build from a clean clone"
My response was calm and clear:
"You can, it took me 20 minutes on Thursday evening. I was bored and curios, so I wanted to validate Morpheus' work. Here it is on my iOS device and my Android device. It would have taken me 5 if my laptop wasn’t so horrifically out of date."
I validated Morpheus' work so I have evidence, I trust that brilliant bastard.
I just need to be able to prove it's good.
[JD] took this on board.
Maybe listening to two tried and trusted senior devs is better than listening to a headstrong Solution Architect.
When JD left for the weekend I was working a late one (https://www.devrant.io/rants/874765).
His sign off was beautiful.
"I think I can happily admit defeat on this one, it can wait until Monday."
To which I replied: "no worries brother, if you need a hand give me a shout."
Rule 1: Don't be a cunt.
Rule 2: If someone needs help and you can give it: Give it!
Rule 3: Don't interrupt James' cigarette time.
Rule 4: goto Rule 3.4
The deeper I go down the infosec rabbit hole, the more I worry about my doctors still using Windows XP. Why would you save sensitive patient info in those....shoe boxes?4
So I went to the mental hospital today. Perfect sentence. I know it sounds like a fun field trip. I was diagnosed with adjustment disorder with depressive symptoms but the doctor says it's just the initial diagnosis and I would get the final one on Wednesday once they do the tests and the longer consultation. They prescribed something to "help me fall asleep" which upon searching on the internet is used to treat mental/mood conditions like schizoprenia, bipolar disorder, depression, etc. but I get what they meant and why they said it that way.
My problem is they did not give me the usual medical certificate that I can't go to work for x no. of days and I am completely ignorant how these things work but I know for sure I'm too overwhelmed to go to work on Monday and Tuesday before the next check-up. I plan to just be honest to my manager and say I only have the diagnosis, have to wait for the next check-up, and still can't come to work. I was already absent for two days last week for some crap reason like diarrhea because I can't tell them what's really up because they might think I'm just lazy as fuck but I can't help it. After feeling intimidated talking to the doctors, I finally broke down and cried and could barely speak for the first few minutes. Fortunately, they did not dismiss me or some shit I usually get from people.
I know I posted this before in the comments section of a previous post and it's getting annoying but I wonder if I can just send the diagnosis paper to my manager and not come to work until after the Wednesday diagnosis.
I'm just glad I have the drugs now and I hope I get better somehow. My thoughts are still racing like what the fuck am I still even typing.43
Some people think that in the software industry there is no communication and everyone is glued to their screens doing their work. It really fucking pisses me off.
- We write documentation around our code more than actual code so that we can communicate with other developers better.
- We use version control and pull requests to make sure our work is at the required level and it is approved.
- We invented UML to communicate our technical understanding to less technical people.
- We sometimes have more client meetings than doctors have patients. In which we have deal with clients worse than patients.
- We conduct keynotes and conferences and hackathons to bring together communities.
These are just a few things from the top of my head so next time you think of saying that the IT or software professionals don't have "much" communication you better fucking educate yourself as to what the profession actually is.3
So Monsoons hit the town and this is saddening for me.
I FUCKING HATE MONSOONS WITH BURNING PASSION FROM THE CORE OF MY SOUL.
Cloudy weather is nice and rains are much needed for the survival on this big blue ball, but I never loved this season.
The clouds hide the sun and that reduces the Vitamin D generation in our body.
The weather triggers me emotionally, because I do not have a SO to spend those lovey dovey moments with.
As lack of Vit D is closely linked to depression (biologically), so along with those emotional triggers my seasonal depression creeps in.
I FUCKING HATE DEPRESSION.
What more could go wrong? Well the drizzling rain makes everything dirty and muddy. Unless it's a heavy rain, which
washes everything off, the filth outside is just annoying.
You want more? The traffic increases and everybody is stuck for hours getting their dicks and cunts wet just because a dumbass decided to speed a bit and slipped all the way jamming the road from every direction.
The germs and bacterias shoot up and everyone, literally every motherfucker, falls ill with contagious disease and keeps sneezing their cum without covering their filthy mouth. A season for doctors to mint money.
Moreover, all the open air gigs and events get cancelled. You cannot even go out for a jog or breathe fresh air without soaking your balls with mud and water.
Buildings, lifts, public transport, hospitals everything is wet and unhygienic.
So yeah, FUCK MONSOONS.9
A huge new hospital opened up.
it looks very modern and nice, lots of new doctors and facilities.. but..
Why is everything wireless?!
everything's connected to different APs across the hospital!
Receptionist's pc? has a wifi adaptor sticking out to the side.
in-patient's smart tvs? Wireless, connected to their own ap
conveniently enough, the SSID's were labeled with where they were being used and didnt bother to hide it
"Office A" "Smart TVs" "DB".
now im not saying wireless is bad, it's convenient! but why make everything in the building connect wirelessly.
any kid who's feeling naughty could do:
aireplay-ng -0 0 [BSSID] wlan[#]
and it's good bye connectivity.
or maybe flip put wireshark or any kind of sniffer.
i dont wanna have to come here for surgery only to find out the machine's wireless too.
imagine it stopping halfway through your surgery.. Yikes..6
Is it just me or is there a strangely high number of IT professionals in relationships with healthcare professionals (nurses / doctors /pathologists etc)? Devs with medical partners, get in here!16
There was an error in one of my Java file. Impossible to find it. I commented all the code and the error remain. I commented the import of that class and no more error. How the f**** is possible that a empty class give an error ?
I opened the file in another text editor and found out that the last character was a symbol that wasn't recognize or display in other text editor.
I was really proud (and confused)3
Reasons why I hate the hospital I work for...
1. NO fucking budget, for fuck sakes our telecom system is still running Merlin Magix. (I’ve been working on getting the trunk and everything to at least push FreePBX out... Configuration configuration.) but, that requires a decent server to host said system... But guess what? We’ve still got a few servers online that are running server 2012 r2. NO FUCKING BUDGET.
2. Training. They don’t have the budget to send me to training, but the doctors here are rolling in Mercedes... Must be fucking nice.
3. I have 5 f-I-v-e job descriptions. I’m a bio medical technician, network admin, system admin, programmer, and help desk... I fucked up allowing them to know I program.
4. On call 365 days a year. That’s nice and all, but when I’ve got shit to do and the nearest Walmart is an hour away I don’t want a call from Louis “oh the printer has a jam” FUCK OFF LOUIS! Get the paper out, we’ve been over this, I believe in you!
5. Some of the FUCKING (l)users.... You wouldn’t imagine some of the calls I receive, some of my favorite being late late “Hey *anonyops* I know it’s late but we’re needing a chair moved from one room to the other.” FUCK YOU YOU CHEEKY FUCKING CUNT.
The only reason I’m still here is my direct supervisor and a hand full of people that I’ve grown to love. Also, because any computer related job here is either outsourced or filled by a YouTubing god. - reason 1 why I started my own business. Supply and demand.
Rural Kansas Hospitals = shit, inb4 thanks —insert president to blame—20
"well you could still afford a doctor if you bought a PC" - the bill gates from epic rap battles of history. guess he stayed true to his word3
During my first internship, my boss had me build a social network type of platform for doctors, all by myself, using Drupal 7. I was like 'aw yeah sure!'...*sigh* younger me...
While I was working there, he didn't have any particular input on the project other that the occasional brainstorming session, where he would tell me things that big firms do (Facebook, Twitter etc.) that should be implemented. It was 2012 so you can imagine that many standard concepts of today, were making their first appearance back then.
I remember that he was sitting on his desk, a little further next to mine, watching a video about how to treat your employees like mine-digging goblins, in a way that would bring profit to the company. He didn't notice that the volume was loud enough and that I could hear what the video said. Still to this day, that moment was one of the most awkward experiences I had in any workspace.
Well the project turned out to be a really well-built prototype and then canceled because reality hit me and I left after my internship ended, even though he told me that he wanted to hire me and have me work on the project full-time.
So happy to have been there, just to learn to avoid people and places like that in the future, it really paid off (seriously, this is the type of stuff that you have to experience in order to armor up in the future).2
This is why I hate freelance
that's $6.60, so a motherfucker decided to do graphic design for $6, and It's happening in my country to designers and programmers and everyone.
We're not indians, we're not pakistanis, we're not nepalians (no disrespect to any of them) no but we became even cheaper, a website is sold for $100
Doctors value their time, waiters value their time, even waste collectors refuse to work for less than $1000 or more in my country. I have no clue why freelancers keep driving the price down. It's a global trend.6
Start raising tickets/bugs like you were going to the doctors and things would get fixed a lot faster.
X page doesn't work.
Great information there what about the page isn't working?
Doesn't answer the question and gets pissy when you have to ask them again.
If this was a doctor's appointment all you would've done is walked into my office and yelled it hurts over and over.
Then proceeded to shit on my floor as you're leaving because I didn't diagnose the problem fast enough.
What were you trying to do when the system took a crap?
What did the red text say?
Can you take a screenshot? because the old saying a picture paints a thousand words holds some truth.
If you can go to the doctor and give them a full run down of when you got sick and what symptoms you got in the same order they happened why do you struggle to do the same when reporting a bug.5
I get about 4-5 hours sleep. Like today: I went to work, made my lunch at work, got changed for football, played football from 7-9pm got home at 9:30, cooked, ate, showered and dried my hair and it's now 1am.
Tomorrow I got football training for another team so again I'll be getting into be at about 1am.
Also I forgot go mention ive got to get up at 6 for work And Friday I have to be at the doctors for 7. Yeyyyyy me!!! Don't even ask me about the weekend...
I feel like this classifies as a rant because I don't get to code at the weekends and it kills me 😡😡 especially when I want to contribute to certain packages and said I would. So fuck you social life. Fuck. You.
Ohhh and those fucking 'friends' that guilt trip you into seeing them because "you haven't seen me in ages 😢😢" there's a reason for that Barbra (keeping her identity secret) I'm fucking depressed and tired. Fuck the fuck right off.8
I have been sick for a week now. All I needed was one day of rest. But no, can't rest on the week days because I work late. Can't rest on weekends because work fucking calls me for retarded tasks that they are just too fucking lazy to do themselves.
Look gobknob, I understand you're not paying me overtime. Fuck you for that. But to deny me a day off because "we are too busy" and you can clearly see I'm fucking falling around due to illness is just a shit move.
"no doctors note, no time off". Yeah. You don't give me time to go to the doctor.
So you know what I did? I fucking went to the doctor now. Said I'm sick as a dog. Gave me a few days off too.
I should have asked him to prescribe my director a butternut sized suppository that cures all "I'm a shithead" ailments.
Time to try and turn my phone off for a few days (won't work. "oh no! We hired fuck twits who can't do their job, and now our skilled dev is sick" director "FUCKING PHONE HIM" this shit really happens.).
Excuse my grammar, my spelling, and possibly my punication. Time to sleep after 65 hours.4
Being left alone in the doctors office with an unlocked computer, wondering who else got to see my medical records...1
If doctors were like software engineers, they would say things like "Have you tried killing yourself and letting yourself be reborn?"2
What fascinates me the most about the industry we work in, is the disruptive and transformative nature of ideas the come out every day.
The technology we use augmented with the software we build have the capability to disrupt and shift the existing paradigm of absolutely any industry today. The solution we construct changes the way in which an industry functions, and brings the horizon closer while making the ocean wider.
So does our capability to design and transform the existing landscape with the ability to visualise the many dimensions of a problem that are otherwise overlooked by others.
I had one of the best feelings today when 3 extremely prolific doctors in the Indian opthalmological industry told me how the solution i built could change the way in which they have been working for almost 20 years ... For the best ...
It's just such a great feeling to know every line of code we write , execute and debug would one day disrupt and transform an otherwise traditional landscape.
So hooray to us and the things we invent, because at the end of the day a PC to code and internet for the outreach ( and stackoverflow ofcourse. 😅 ) Is all that's needed to bring about a metamorphosis of conventional thoughts and theories.1
My country spent 40 billion euros for building public online healtcare service website (where you can make appointments with doctors, follow treatments and etc.).
So, this morning I read an article that same website had security breach, so all residents data could be accessed (name, birthday, social security number) by anyone.
I wonder where all that money went to.5
I just have been with my kid to a doctor. Got some meds and was ordered to pray to the god, was almost dragged into discussion after saying that this comment was improperiate.
Somebody just criticized me about bringing politics into discussion.
I'm from POLand.5
I technically joined just after this guy left(fired) but the stories are to good to tell!
The guy was clearly off but It wasn't his fault he had to of had aspergers
He would demand! To write with two pens in one hand he said it was faster and the only way he could write neatly... (Nope)
I don't think it was to weird but he would put on music and play death metal stuff full volume, because he couldn't hear anyone the team used to make paper planes and fire them at him when they wanted his attention.
Another thing he was into furry ... Stuff but was super open about it had. Wolf's and shit like that on his desk and always had a wolf shirt.
But he was fired, he wasn't great at his job.
I came in to help sort out the mess it was the government's setup for servers and nurses and doctors computers for the NHS over in england.
He effectively skull fucked the entire system.
He magically (I to do day can not understand how) did forced updates and installed to a newer version of Windows servers the problem being the programs wouldn't work on newer windows at the time.
Most were on XP at the time and they used windows servers back then.
Luckily not nation wide just in my local area but still thousands of computers affected.
The issue became this ... You see they had this program on their computers that let them get patient documents and update etc
He removed code or added code that made it update all the laptops and desktops to a new service pack which they didn't want... Then he upgraded the servers to a new windows version I don't remember the specifics
But the updates and new version of Windows made it so the laptops etc couldn't communicate with the servers.
... The next day he got fired and I was brought in for a few weeks to help sort out the mess.
But apparently he was a super interesting guy but with way to many quirks.
It costs the tax payers a fortune! Literally a few million to sort his mistake out people were working round the clock for two weeks straight.3
Today we found out that my brother has a condition, triggered by a stressful event, that causes his heart to try and shutdown.
The dev in me is screaming "fix the bug!"
The crazy in me wants to start punching doctors in the face til we find a solution.
But the rational side of me knows there's nothing that I can do because that magical asshole in the sky didn't commented his code...3
*sometime during my sophomore year in university. I was a Biology major and just switched to Computer Science. I'm currently a senior graduating in the Spring.*
Me: "Mom and Dad I changed my major to Computer Science!"
Parents: "How will you be able to make a living playing games?"
Me: "I won't be playing games, I'll be coding/programming things and building software."
Parents: "I thought you wanted to become a doctor?"
Me: "Well I decided I wanted to choose a career that I like and I also didn't want to stay in school for 8 years. Also, the salary I can make as a developer/engineer is close to that of some doctors."
Parents: "Well we wanted you to go to be a physical therapist. We feel that it's the best option for you."
Me: "I think this is my best option because there aren't even enough people available to fill the jobs that will be around when I graduate. Which also means that I can make a higher salary."
Parents: "Well I guess we'll see if you can make a living and provide for a family just playing/making games."
Me: "That's fine I never needed your support anyways."
*My parents thought that if the job wasn't physical labor then it wasn't a "real job". (Idk how they decided that a Physical Therapist was a "real job") I moved out less than a year after this argument because I was constantly put down by my parents for coding/programming as well as playing video games in my spare time. They thought it was childish. This has shown me what I won't do when I become a parent.*
*Just a side note: I have paid for everything I own that wasn't gifted to me since I was 18 and had a job while attending college. I also got a scholarship to go to college, so my parents didn't have to pay for any of it.*2
Didn't install linux for years now. Today, I have to and nothing changed about wifi drivers, at all ! Even the install process still sucks !
And they still ask to "sudo apt-get install fucking-wifi-driver" ?!?!?!
I don't have internet yet, that's the all point, damn it !22
I was working at a doctors office while going to (and still attending) college. Everyone knew my major was computer science which meant everyone came to me when their browser didn't open. The night before April fools I turned off all of the wireless mice and used a label maker to print out "April Fools" on the bottom of each mouse next to the "on/off switch." This prank is miniscule in comparison to others here I'm sure, but the next day was my day off and I had the entire office calling me asking me to come in and fix it. "Taco what do we do???" They frantically asked. And so I very calmly said, "Did you turn the mouse over?" And hung up.
It's was the forth year of my college, in the corner of the world in south India, I wanted to something to combine both medicine and the coding that I learnt, I started learning about heart murmurs, it's basically a skill based diagnosis that only 1 in 20 heart specialists can make by hearing the heart beat and listening to a small murmur that happens during the systolic cycle or the diastolic cycle. I wrote a program to learn a lot of sample murmurs and try to find (very bad hand made logic) the similarities between two wave patterns, the problem started with noise so I went out and built a new stethoscope with a carbon mic inside a normal stethoscope head and try filtering the sound at source (worked well enough at that time) I then tried to find people to test it on, but alas I was not able to find patients as doctors are not supposed to reveal them etc. I wanted to show them visually how a murmur pattern would look like and I stole some code and made a plotter for the wav file and presented everything. By that time I got a lot of close amazing friends involved and they helped me solidify the project and we won the best project award and I got my first gold medal of my life at the end of my academic life :) it was one of the best moments of my life. Second only to the joy of getting married to wife. May be third if I put getting a job in Microsoft India Development Center.
I still wish I could dig that code up and write it properly with what I have learnt today but work is never ending and I find great problems to solve everyday which I know I can make a difference, may be when I get retired I will dust out that CD with the decades old c++ code and write one last program...3
I really don't like the atmosphere in hospitals. Only thing I like about hospitals are the beautiful nurses and doctors, esp those who look in the eyes when talking.
If you think about it, basically what a doctor is to a humans or animals is same as what a computer technician is to a computer.
Maybe a dozen decades down the future, the reality may be such that there will be a convergence between the doctors and computer technicians as humans start integrating humanoid elements in their body.
I think it's l inevitable.2
I just love working with this other company!
Their projects are fucking complicated, but still doable, they entertain me
But most of all, the examples they make are just awesome!
Like now I'm developing a CRM for a small clinic and there was an issue like "what are notes for?"
"The patient is showily homosexual, remember to ask for his HIV exams after his next visit"
Q: "what happens during the visit?"
A: "the patients comes in, the receptionist will hand over a tablet with some questions like how deep his asshole is, then proceeds to to doctor office and there he will be raped for 30m, during the rape the doctor will take note of how destroyed his anus is, and will proceed to prepare a therapy"
Q: "I see there's the requirement for attachments"
A: "yeah once they get into the doctor room, they will be asked stuff like feet pictures to let the doctors jerk off later at night, but also PDFs about exams or some kind of stuff like that"
Q: "Will the staff be able to notify one another about random shit?"
A: "They're 3 people in like 40 square meters, so they might as well just shout 'hey, I shit myself bc there's no more toilet paper', they're close enough to hear one another"
I'm sorry in advance if you feel offended by any part of this4
I had an a assignment to submit in the same week i had an infi exam. I wrote this comment and submitted. I submitted it a bit late so I lose points for it, but except that I got all the points.
FYI I know infi is written as "Infinity" in English, but learned that later.
I was wondering that we, as a developer, got a platform like devRant to share ideas, talk about things that we like, can understand humour that will bounce out of any non-technical people.
In the entire world, there are so many profession (like doctors, corporate people and so on...,), without a good platform like devrant they are missing on so many things.1
Every type of doctor is a different kind of debugger for the Human Operating System 🤔
They debug system services like "ear", "throat" and "poop".
Sometimes they even repair or take apart systems for different reasons!1
Got through 4 hours of merge conflicts before pushing to prod... I imagine this is how doctors feel during an operation... #ef
Everything about Bus Eireann, Ireland's state owned bus company, just seems so half-assed and cheap... they bought new buses, but they're the same size as the old ones so are generally always full. They put in a speaker that calls out stops, but it only calls out one random stop in the middle of nowhere. They won't run extra buses when a bus is full... etc, etc...
If devs at Microsoft worked like these guys Windows 95 would be the most current version 'cause fukkit it works.
If scientists worked like these guys we'd be taking pictures of mars with a smartphone taped to a pair of binoculars 'cause it's cheaper than sending up a space telescope.
If doctors worked like these guys people would be sent home to put vodka and a plaster on a freshly amputated leg.
I just wanted to yell into space about the one thing that's had me pissed off since October...
While changing a pathetically written code, a thought came to my mind that like doctors we should also have a licence system for software engineers... And all the engineers who wrote such shitty code should be banned from the profession for life.,👾5
I was working on this attendance thing for a very prestigious talk by some amazing doctors(Which I didn't know at the time)
Being an intern I was seated next to the watercooler
So to think up a "creative" name
I used Water Mancooler as an attendant
It was all fun and good....
Little did I know that my boss was going to present it to said Doctors and they see that name as the first person attending
Needless to say I had a fun next day at work 😁
I fucking hate sleep destroying on-call. I'd rather you just euthanize me and put me out of my fucking misery.
This idiocy of comparing most dev. on calls it to doctors to on call is fucking stupid unless maybe you're in health care and lives actually might be on the line. Pretty sure a fair number of doctors wouldn't wanna be on call and would rather sleep.
It also doesn't helps that it's not in my contract, I'm not getting paid for it, and I stupidly believed HR when they said I wouldn't need to. Should've trusted the dev.s when interviewing said there is. No way I'm getting out of on call without being fired when we're all on rotation.2
I miss one day because of doctors visits and now every multi-word filename in the project and all their references contain spaces. Fml
An App/service which would help doctors and patients to schedule consultation hours. Also an patient would always have medical relevant documents as digital documents. No more waiting for faxes, no more lost diagnostic sheets everything is always in reach. No more search for an MRI appointment and no more overfilled waiting rooms. Better programms for docs! The ones ive seen in hospitals and doctors offices looks horrific..1
Not a rant, but a cheer!
Reading other devs rants on devRant released some of the tension and muscle knots that had built up during the week. Reading devRant should be prescribed by doctors!
Just discussing with my office colleague, that there should be one same rant feed for doctors.
Then I realize they are doctors and they can't built one themself, and their handwriting sucks1
Every profession has people who have done some real shit. You have doctors, lawers, scientists, architects.
I want to be one of those developers who did some real shit. I'm just saying.....6
The sad moment of your life when the doctors leave u no choice but to put glases on if u have to work in front of a screen all day🙁 ( i hate this shit )9
Got a freelance job, I need to make a websites for doctors (3-5 pages + mostly static pages). Should i use a CMS? Please don't say WordPress.11
Heard at the doctors office:
Shall I just input the same data again??
... Now we just have to make sure it doesn't disappear!
Any of you guys know about Feathers UI ? Based on Google Trends, I'll assume that you don't. But if you do please let me know
My collegue make remote assistance for our software, dedicated to doctors in Italy. A doctor had the hd completely full, so it can't update the software and he call my collegue angry, saying "i've an update error, is your fault!!!" etc...after my collegue explain him he had to free space on the disk because there is no space, he had a genial idea! he brought new laptop, worst than the other one, because of the free space on disk!2
A giant Workshop where engineers build robot models, doctors (in computer in, obviously) create concepts and direction line for the A.I when programmers effectively program it. Like à facture of robots bu with just innovation and not money in mind