!rant

My shirt said "why do developers wear glasses... Because they can't c#" and this girl said she didn't understand my shirt, she asked what C-hashtag meant and wanted me to explain it 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Sharing a short story.
Time: 1:30 am
Conversation between me and a night watchman in my society.
I was walking and this watchman suddenly stopped me and started asking questions.
Watchman: Isn't it late at 1:30am. When do u sleep?
Me: I sleep very late (replied in a very uninterested manner)
Watchman: Which year are you?
Me: Final year of Graduation
Watchman: Which branch?
Me: (a bit annoyed now) Software Engineering
Watchman: So you know programming?
Me: (little shocked that he knows what's programming) Learning
Watchman: So, do your university teaches C, Python and UNIX?
Me:(completely shocked by his knowledge) Yup. Except UNIX, others yes.
Watchman then asked some fees related questions and placements scope.
I was annoyed when he approached me for a little talk.. But had a wonderful experience talking to this person. It's great when you meet such unexpected person having such knowledge.
When I asked him how he knows all these, he said he talks like this to many students and learnt it.
His last line to me when I said that you know a lot, was:
Sir, you are the ocean, I am a needle in it.
Truly awesome moment... Never judge anyone by looks or his occupation... Knowledge is something that anyone anywhere can gain...
Respect to that watchman...

Found this on Twitter 😂😂
Kudos to @Zixxel

I have mixed feeling about this test result

Fuck you, .DS_Store.

My partner has zero interest in coding and wants to have a baby, a week ago she started to yell install baby at me. Told her its not the right command. A few days ago she yelled apt-get install baby. Told her there was a user privilege problem. Today she came back with sudo apt-get install baby.

looks like we are going to have to have a baby!

Source /r/ProgrammerHumor

Knock.
Knock.
Knock knock.
Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.

Who's there?

Fibonacci.

Conversation with my Boss

B: Are u a hacker?
M: No
B: We need a hacker?
M: Why?
B: Because X department wants to do a hackathon.

Most people.
"Dance like no one is looking"

Me.
"Sudo like you have backups"

When I started using the console...

// family tech support

Dad: *clicks something*
Dad: *something strange happens*
Dad: Hey son, come over here. What happened?
Son: Hm.. what did u click?
Dad: I don't know. Aren't you supposed to know that? You're our computer genius.

I overheard this on my way back to home.

Girl 1: I bought a new phone yesterday.
Girl 2: Let me see it.
*hands over the phone*
Girl 2: There is no Instagram?
Girl 1: No, Instagram wasn't installed when I bought the phone.
Girl 2: That's weird.

*me almost dead*

Haven't slept in the last 72 hours, eaten in 24 and shaved or showered in 48+ .. but it is such a delight to move the project to production an hour before the deadline and two hours later to receive an angry phone call from the client because there is 'horrible bug' in the web system - the logo of his company wasn't showing, only the name ... the moron never sent us a logo to begin with, only a MS word document with the company's information and a compressed 200x80 logo in the bottom ...

Geeky way to reach out to the girl/guy you have a crush on.

"I need this bug fixed in half an hour!"

When you mix art with science

True story

A devops engineer in its natural habitat

Holy crap, just consulted with a company who wanted to fire the entire 6 person backend team because:

"They don't produce any tangible work or add value to the company."

Initially I didn't catch on, went to chat with the devs and realised the dilemma. Took 3 hours of (almost heated) debate before the higher ups understood the the value and purpose of backend devs.

This is a kitchen appliance company who recently moved into IoT 🙃

Halloween

Gentlemen,
Please take a look at the enclosed hard drive and let me know if you'll be able to transfer files/software from it onto a laptop. If so I'll send you a laptop so you can get it done.

*Opens box*

Mindblowing CSS answer from one of our students, yesterday:
```
li{color:blue;}
li{color:red;}
```
=> Final color of <li>?
- Purple!
:-O

Every programmers dream convo

"Agile" - seems to be a synonym for "make it up as you go along"

To be able to use my full emotional spectrum every day.

She: We've been together for so long and why are you never romantic??
Me: What do you mean? I can say I Love You in 10 different languages!
She: Awww... Really ?!?
Me:
cout<<"I Love You!";
printf("I Love You!);
System.out.println("I Love You!");
print "I Love You!"
echo "I Love You!";
say I Love You
puts "I Love You!
msg db 'I Love You!'
<h1>I Love You!</h1>
dbms_output.put_line ('I Love You!');

Me: Hello.. ?

As we may all messed up a (git) repo at the begininng, do you know the surge of adrenalin right before pushing your committed changes or merging branches?

So true

My favorite part of being a developer is that no matter what craziness is going on in my life I can put on my headphones and lose myself in logical problem solving.