Friend: OMG are you hacking ?

[sudo apt-get update] running

Me: Yes. I am.

My partner has zero interest in coding and wants to have a baby, a week ago she started to yell install baby at me. Told her its not the right command. A few days ago she yelled apt-get install baby. Told her there was a user privilege problem. Today she came back with sudo apt-get install baby.

looks like we are going to have to have a baby!

I wish my mind had its own terminal.
Just imagine...

sudo apt-get install English

sudo apt-get install car

Source: Twitter

Student next to me tried to be cool and opened a terminal window and said to me: "I'm hacking someone." He was just running "apt-get update" ...

TL;DR: Don't ever interrupt me while taking a shit.

>be me taking a shit comfortably in the bathroom, not bothering anyone
>hear my cousin outside calling his gf
>nofsgiven.jpg
>suddenly stuff comes flying through the window and hear her gf laughing in his phone speaker
>stupid asshat was trying to make his gf laugh by bothering me while in the debug room
>scream from the top of my lungs for him to stop interrupting my defecation process
>stuff keeps coming from the window
>my brown creation comes back inside like a scared turtle
>pull up pantaloons
>get out of thinking room
>open up laptop, start ubuntu
>sudo apt-get install aircrack-ng
>enable monitor mode, get phone, ap mac addresses
>vim shittyvengeance.sh
>write small script that deauths his phone and then waits some seconds and then starts over again so he doesn't think it's me
>:wq and make script executable
>sleep 180; cowsay ding dong ur vengeance has arrived; sudo ./shittyvengeance.sh
>tuck into bed and close laptop before sleep time ends
>his call suddenly drops
>"Matt are you messing up with my WiFi again?"
>"Nah man. Not working for me either. Must be localcompany's problem."
>mfw he can't talk with his gf for more than 15 seconds before losing connection
>omgitworks.jpg
>figure that it was the most useful thing I had made in a pc in these two years at uni
>be proud of me for making a stupid script
>think about going back to my pearl white throne
>no longer wanting to drop my supplies
>go to sleep
>mfw forgot to wipe ass

My first story in devRant! Was lurking for quite a while and finally felt like sharing something 🙃

alias please="sudo"
please apt-get son

When all project dependencies can be installed using apt-get...

Tabs over spaces

*Beautiful girls passes by*

Me: *Quick! Do something awesome*

sudo apt-get update

Person: "Shall I put PHP inside HTML or HTML inside PHP?"
Person: *sudo apt-get install nodejs*

I managed to recycle a joke. Here is me using fedora:

:~$ sudo apt-get install vim

Who is apt-get?

:~$ oops sorry, I meant dnf

Who's apt-get?

:~$ sudo dnf install vim

Maybe you should ask apt-get to install it

sudo apt-get life

Fuck these movie people:
You run "sudo apt-get update.." and you say we've got the signal. Your f*cking signal! Am sure someone even typed the password for you. I update my system every 5 minutes I have got no signal. F*ck you again. I'm not watching the movie again. P*ssing me off.

sudo apt-get random-tool

Traceback (most recent call last):

Aborting because there's a fork in the spoon compartment on line 43 in main

Error this script only works on Python 2.7 and maybe 4.1 on line 59 in main

Missing symbols when trying to decipher Sumerian recipe for steamed vegetables on line 67 in main

Cannot open shared object: Your OS is a bully and is hiding my files on line 98 in main

Are you sure all directories matching ^(/)?([^/\0]+(/)?)+$ are in your $PATH on line 268 in main

Your computer is kind of vibrating in an annoying way on line 332 in main

Failing because I'm feeling insecure please hold me on line 587 in main

I'm feeling confused about my sentience when running TensorFlow models on line 682 in main

FUCK

HAS ANYONE EVER MANAGED TO JUST FUCKING INSTALL A PYTHON BASED APPLICATION WITHOUT DEBUGGING RANDOM COMPUTER STATE SHIT AND DEPENDENCIES FOR THREE HOURS?

Some people in my class who have been learning java for over 2 years now and ask me what the difference is between a class and a method.

sudo apt-get install suicide

Does anyone else find apt-get upgrading strangely comforting?

When you're a junior sysadmin but still have to maintain ALL the production server:

How it looks:

$ sudo apt-get update

How it feels:

& sudo [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo *Click*

Story time!

So me, alcoholic I am, went to a local cafe because I didn't have enough booze anymore at home. Turns out that there were quite some people that wanted to get to know me!

And most importantly, there was another sysadmin (that likely saw through my funsies with some people there that I displayed termux' apt update and apt upgrade to as "evil hacking" 😜) that actually wasn't a bluff - he pretty much interviewed me on the spot and was apparently pretty impressed by my skillset. And so am I by his - he asked some pretty techy questions that only a fellow technologist could come up with. In a local cafe of all places!!! Who would've thought?!

I'll probably be going to that cafe some more 😋

I wish installing updates in Windows 10 was as easy as:

sudo apt-get update
sudo apt-get upgrade

Telling people I don't need GIT and prefer to do things via FTP for years. That is till today when I accidentally deleted everything.

sudo apt-get install git

Created an alias in BASH

alias fucking=sudo

Just so I can run "fucking apt-get update". Got so used to it I accidentally used it during a presentation. Now the cute interns think I'm awesome while the other devs think I'm an ass.

When my friend trolled me just because I was a noob with Linux command line...

To fix your problem you must run:
sudo apt-get purge sudo

And then I tried reinstalling sudo with....
sudo apt-get install sudo 😲

Apt-get install *

Just don't do it. It's not worth it!

PLEASE, stop using apt-get. It's depreciated. Use apt instead.

Thank you.

sudo apt-get purge my-crippling-depression

sudo apt-get father

Me trying to install a software :

1. Download the binary file
2. Error this file can't be executed
3. Download the source code
4. Compile
5. Error - instruction not supported by this OS
6. Create a new disk partition
7. Download ubuntu
8. Install ubuntu
9. Apt-get install
10. Error - package not readable by this version of ubuntu
11. Kill myself

E: Invalid operation lifehacker.

Just... Fail.

Motherfucking WordPress coupled with motherfucking sales people.

If you promise the client something, please fucking relay it via the correct process (i.e the fucking ticketing system that took me a month to write for the company - it's seriously just a click away on your desktop.). "I told your boss" is not a fucking apt excuse.

My boss forgets, and well, doesn't give a fuck about procedure either.

Now you phone my boss and he phones me, on a fucking Sunday evening, telling me that the client was promised a website by tomorrow morning at 10AM. You tell me this at fucking 9PM.

Why didn't you tell me earlier? How the fuck am I supposed to shit out something I would be proud of in a few hours? Nevermind me fucking up my sleeping routine; how the fuck?

Conversation went like this:
"xyz was promised this site by sales person fuckTwit, I need this live by Monday morning. I have sent you a few images. Make it in WordPress, client says they want a 'tangy looking theme'.

Me: it's a bit unrealistic requesting this, is there no way we can extend the time so I have time to create this?
Also, what do you mean by 'tangy'?

Boss: don't know. Make it happen. No excuses.

What the fuck is a tangy theme? When I become a webDev at the company? More importantly, fucking WordPress?!

Now I'm sitting on this shit, tired as a manatee in mating season, and using goddamn WordPress.

I have to halt my irritation, because I get severely irritated when I'm tired, I have to restrain myself from telling the involved parties tomorrow to install the FuckYourself WordPress plugin, coupled with a resignation letter.

Same sales person got me in shit a while ago, because I refused to give him access to the network to download fucking cartoons. Sales director went and moaned that his bitch (the sales person) needs this for a presentation. Yeah fucking right.
Go Snorkelling in a sewer truck you egotistic, megalomaniacal, indecent, outrageous, horrible motherfucker of a person.

Time to develop a fucking website with, oh, a company profile pamphlet.

Times like this I keep telling myself, "my time will come, my time will come".

sudo apt-get remove --purge idiot-in-the-room

Read this gem in a Pi guide: "And now we install Github: sudo apt-get install git-core"

I'm sure sudo will solve everything LOL

(Written March 13th at 2am.)

This morning (yesterday), my computer decided not to boot again: it halts on "cannot find firmware rtl-whatever" every time. (it has booted just fine several times since removing the firmware.) I've had quite the ordeal today trying to fix it, and every freaking step along the way has thrown errors and/or required workarounds and a lot of research.

Let's make a list of everything that went wrong!

1) Live CD: 2yo had been playing with it, and lost it. Not easy to find, and super smudgy.

2) Unencrypt volume: Dolphin reports errors when decrypting the volume. Research reveals the Live CD doesn't incude the cryptsetup packages. First attempts at installing them mysteriously fail.

3) Break for Lunch: automatic powersaving features turned off the displays, and also killed my session.

4) Live CD redux: 25min phonecall from work! yay, more things added to my six-month backlog.

5) Mount encrypted volume: Dolphin doesn't know how, and neither do I. Research ensues. Missing LVM2 package; lvmetad connection failure ad nauseam; had to look up commands to unlock, clone, open, and mount encrypted Luks volume, and how to perform these actions on Debian instead of Ubuntu/Kali. This group of steps took four hours.

6) Chroot into mounted volume group: No DNS! Research reveals how to share the host's resolv with the chroot.

7) `# apt install firmware-realtek`: /boot/initrd.img does not exist. Cannot update.

8) Find and mount /boot, then reinstall firmware: Apt cannot write to its log (minor), listed three install warnings, and initially refused to write to /boot/initrd.img-[...]

9) Reboot!: Volume group not found. Cannot process volume group. Dropping to a shell! oh no..

(Not listed: much research, many repeated attempts with various changes.)

At this point it's been 9 hours. I'm exhausted and frustrated and running out of ideas, so I ask @perfectasshole for help.
He walks me through some debugging steps (most of which i've already done), and we both get frustrated because everything looks correct but isn't working.

10) Thirteenth coming of the Live CD: `update-initramfs -u` within chroot throws warnings about /etc/crypttab and fsck, but everything looks fine with both. Still won't boot. Editing grub config manually to use the new volume group name likewise produces no boots. Nothing is making sense.

11) Rename volume group: doubles -'s for whatever reason; Rebooting gives the same dreaded "dropping to a shell" result.

A huge thank-you to @perfectasshole for spending three hours fighting with this issue with me! I finally fixed it about half an hour after he went to bed.

After renaming the volume group to what it was originally, one of the three recovery modes managed to actually boot and load the volume. From there I was able to run `update-initramfs -u` from the system proper (which completed without issue) and was able to boot normally thereafter.

I've run updates and rebooted twice now.
After twelve+ hours... yay, I have my Debian back!

oof.

$ sudo apt-get remove UK
...
After this operation, 1 GB will be lost.
Do you want to continue? [Y/n]

So I tried to apt-get purge 14 packages and 496 got removed. Now I'm sitting here with a lot of broken shit trying to get my web up and running again .
:C
The perfect time to return to devRant

The award of fastest internet on earth goes to me :D

*note:
its just Ubuntu was not able to update date/time settings during setup cuz I had wifi turned off, turned it back on and ran apt-get update, must have started before the system was able to update its date/time settings, so ya I did not photshop :)

Today at college our professor was dictating Debain update command - "sudo apt-get update"

Person next to me complained it didn't work for him. Peeped into his screen to see - "pseudo apt-get update"

My friends with non tech background thinks that I am hacking into NSA or something but they don't know I am just downloading the package lists by running sudo apt-get update. 😂

Was going to install python 3.5. Typed "apt-get install python 3.5" instead of "apt-get install python3.5".
Parsed 3.5 as regex, now it's installing 500mb of shit :/

alias apt-get=“sudo apt-get”

To whom it may concern,

When I say I use Linux, please do not presume that I mean Ubuntu or other Debian derivates. If you send me instructions like 'apt-get update' you are not being helpful.

Thank you.

PSA: "sudo apt-get remove nginx" doesn't actually remove nginx. It will still continue to run and block port 80 on every reboot.

Until you run sudo apt-get autoremove, nginx-core and others still remain.

And that's how twenty seconds of scheduled downtime turns into 10 minutes.

Dammit nginx

>X gets corrupted somehow
>"sudo apt-get remove xorg"
>begins uninstalling millions of packages
>a fullscreen warning flashes by: "Are you SUUUUUURE you wanna remove the kernel?"
>wasn't prompted to deny
>After process, get kernel panic
>reboot
>kernel panic within 10 seconds

Why must you do this to me, Debian?

Greatest thing I've done with my life:
alias fucking="sudo apt-get"
Now FUCKING INSTALL THAT PACKAGE!!!

sudo apt-get install devRant
sudo apt-get purge sleep

You know it's 2016 when you have to download a package manager to download a package manager to... :S

There are a shitload of them.

Fellow programmer: "You know the get part is not required in apt-get now, right?"

Yes...and I don't care.

!rant

Me: sudo apt-get update

PC: Noope. There is a problem with a package.

Me: Ugh... ok I'll fix it. *20 minutes later* Fixed. Sudo apt-get update

PC: Noope, the package cache file is corrupted.

Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF LINUX OMFG.
Oh, I fixed it.
I LOVE YOU LINUX.

Does linux suck? Imho, Yes.
A lot of the people bash windows regarding automatic restarts, updates, bsod etc.
I may be unusually lucky, but the last bsod I saw was in 2014 because of a faulty synaptics driver.

I've really tried to use linux to see what the hype is all about. Quite frankly, it sucked. The first time it wiped out all my data, I realized the value of backups. Hence I do not have a single pic of my school now, thanks to complicated ubuntu mounting.
Next is driver support. When I plug in a device, I expect it to work. I don't want to spend a day googling for drivers.
Why the fuck would I want to use a black terminal which gives me a headache. Am I in 1980? Which sadistic asshole designed vim ?
I have seen linux developers who claim to be linux experts and love linux. They take so long to do simple shit. For god's sake don't tell me there are GUI versions of linux available. I'd rather work in windows 95.
Why in the world would anyone want to use ls to see the contents of a directory! It is seriously so fucking unproductive.
I can't just download a software, click next a couple of times, and be done. No no no. I've to do sudo apt get update. Then try to find the fucking package. And if all goes well, there's always the dependency issue which is going to bite me in the ass. If google and stackoverflow go down, most linux devs will die a cruel death.

Fuck you linux.
I'm not saying windows 10 is the best, but at least I don't have to crawl through shit to use it. If you don't like automatic updates, disable it you moron. It is easier than renaming a damn file in linux.

!rant
Ran command alias for sudo apt-get on linux. Renamed the command to "fucking get". Now i simply write "fucking get" to install new things. xD

Interviewer: Why do you use Linux distribution for your development environment?

Me: Because I want to make my life as difficult as possible

apt-get install ffmpeg

Hate how every time I have an ubuntu box meet inode limits is always due to Linux Headers... Boss wanted me to add more storage to his box because he was at capacity..

apt-get autoremove

Drive went from 100% usage to 39%..

HOW!? Just HOW THE FUUUCK??!

Did anybody ever try to put a cinnamon desktop onto a ubuntu server version?? 'Cause this is simply fucked up!

Just add the ppa they said. Just run
$ apt-get install cinnamon
they said!

APT-GET YOUR FUCKING HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES!

ARRRGGGH. *table-flip*

> likes linux
> maybe not even install windows on shiny new laptop?
> debian-live.iso
> y u no wifi?
> google: lol apt-get
> but i has no internets...

Why only with Debian and not with literally any other flavor of Linux I've tried, which are all Debian variants?
Halp?

sudo apt-get remove windows

Switched from Mint to Arch 'cause 'pacman' is easier to type than 'apt-get'

The year is 2019.

C++ is still one of the most powerful programming languages around..............with no centralized package manager that is widely adopted by the community that allows one to sandbox libraries from conflicts with one another.

I ain't hating, just find this funny and I love cpp

Apt get/git submodules it is!!

I was part of a on-call rotation. We had ~800 microsites with decent traffic on this one box, because that's a good idea...

One day the box was experiencing kernel panics and causing core dumps. After exhausting every possiblity I decided it was time to restart the box:

sudo shutdown now

Missed the -r and the box was not accessible remotely. Had to wait for someone at the data center to terminal in.

Downtime was ~2 hours.

This was caused by a crontab that automatically ran apt-get update & apt-get upgrade... Also made by me... None of this should have worked or allowed to be done!

Rant:
Why in the freezing cold all people think that linux = secure. Ransomware... Bla bla not happening on linux bla bla... Linux is secure.

If Linux would have been the most popular one people will pretty much run everything on root and install every stupid package available and never run: apt-get update.

Users were so dumb they got scammed by a phising mail... In freaking 2017... This is user stupidity not OS fault...

God its stupidly annoying seeing the same stuff : Linux secure...
Everything can be secure if you paid attention to the same stuff in freaking 2000.

OSX: `brew install package`
Linux: `apt-get install package`
Windows: "took hours to figure out but this is how I did it" - forum c. 2003

sudo apt-get update year

Appy new year guys.

I know I've been away but I will be back when I get better.

*gets annoyed by how vi command in Ubuntu WSL points to vim*
To be clear, that's due to update-alternatives in Ubuntu, not WSL specifically.
*le me ducking how to install vi instead, because vim in WSL has scrolling issues*

"install vi ubuntu"
> How do I install and get started with vim/vi? - Ask Ubuntu
> apt - Vim installation in Ubuntu 14.04 - Ask Ubuntu
> Ubuntu Linux: Install vim Text Editor - nixCraft

-.- I'm not looking for vim ffs, I already have that installed.

"install vi ubuntu -vim"
> Same fucking results

"!g install vi ubuntu -vim"
> Installing the VI Perl Toolkit from Source Code—Linux - VMware
> FedoraDirectoryServerClientHowto - Community Help Wiki - Ubuntu …
> Learn How To Use Linux vi Editor And Its Commands - LinOxide

Oh for fuck's sake!!!
So here's my question because apparently search engines clearly can't point me to it, and Ubuntu doesn't seem to have vi as "vi" in their repositories either. Do our Canonical overlords allow people to actually make /usr/bin/vi actually be fucking vi?

Oh man. I have been waiting for this one. Gather round lil' chil'rens it's story time.

So. I was looking for a new project because my old one was wrapping up and that's what my company does. So I was offered some simulation type stuff. I was like "sure why not, I want to make a computer pretend it isn't a computer no more." Side note I should not be a psychiatrist.

So, prior to coming on to this job I felt stifled by my old job's process. This job was a smaller team so I thought the process would be a little smoother. But it turned out they had NO process. Like they had a bug tracking system and they held the meeting to add things to the system, but that was just fucking lip service to a process.

First of all, they used the local disk on the test box as their version control. and had no real scheme as to how they organized it. We had a CM tool but gods forbid they ever fucking use it. I would be handed problem reports and interface change requests, write a bug to track it, go into the code and about 75% of the time or more it had already been worked. However, there was no record of it being worked and I would have to fucking hunt that shit down in a terribly shitty baseline (standardize your gods damned indentation for fuck's sake) and half the time only found out it was done because when I finally located the piece of code that needed changing, the work was already done.

Then, on top of all that, they ask me what time I want to come in. I said 10am, they said okay. One day I roll in at 10 and my boss is mad. Because I missed a meeting. That was at 9. That I wasn't told about. He says I can keep coming in at 10am though (I asked and volunteered to help get him up to speed on the things I was working he said it wasn't necessary) so I did, but every time I missed a 9am meeting he would get pissed. I'm like PICK ONE!!! They move the meeting to 9:30am (which is not 10am).

This shit starts affecting my health negatively. Stress is apt to do that. It triggered an anxiety relapse that pushed me back in to therapy for the first time in 7 years. On top of that the air quality in the office is so bad that I am getting back to back sinus infections and I get put on heavy antibiotics that tear up my stomach along with the stress and new meds tearing up my stomach. So one day as I am laid out in pain, I call out sick. Two days in a row. (Such a heinous crime right.) Well I missed a test event, that I wasn't even the primary or secondary on.

So fast forward to the most pissed off I have ever been. I get called in to a meeting with my boss's boss. As it turns out, my coworkers are not satisfied by the work that I'm doing (funny because I thought I was doing pretty good given that my only direction was fix the interface change reports and problem reports. And there was no priority assigned to any of them).

And rather than tell me any of this, they go behind my back to the boss and boss's boss. They tell me I need to communicate (which I did) and ask for help when I need it (I never did). That I missed an important event (that I played no part in and gods forbid I be sick) and that it seemed like I didn't want to be there (I didn't but who WANTS to work a corporate job).

They put me on a performance improvement plan and I jumped to another project. I am much happier now. Old coworkers won't even say hi, not even those I was friendly with, but fuck them anyway.

Is obsidian a fucking joke?

Seriously, is it a joke? Why would you ever care so much about indexing literally everything, if the entire thing crashes and/or takes >5min to LITERALLY just open the fucking directory and/or (so help you) if that directory is full of projects/repos or whatever the fuck and the total size of said directory is like >5GB.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU INDEX EVERYTHING? -- "Ohh obsidian's not supposed to be used a fully fledged IDE, ohh obsidian should just handle MD files and normal sized projects, ohh the plugins and ease-of-use" -- Fuck.

There's no fucking real reason to index everything, BY DEFAULT. You open a directory with Obsidian? Doesn't matter, it's 1 byte, it's 100GB, you get indexed. Deal with it. It will use LITERALLY every resource your computer has. I'm surprised it doesn't go galaxy brain and ping if any other computers/devices are on the network and then attempt to connect and use their hardware (obsidian can be like a node!).

How shit can you be at understanding basic data structures and algorithms, where you just revert to based google-chrome brain and let the FUCKING TEXT EDITOR -- OBSIDIAN IS A FUCKING TEXT EDITOR HOLY SHIT -- hog all conceivable memory.

I swear to <some-deity> if anyone fucking says "Ohhhhhhhh actually, it's not a text editor, it has plugins and features and shit, it does all dis cool stff", OR, "Ohhhhh actually, obsidian indexes things for a very specific/rationale/apt/pragmatic/academic reason" OR "ohhhh, I have 100 iphones, 1000 ipads and a trillion desktop computers that each have 256GB of memory, why you hating on obsidian?" then go kick rocks. The fucking lot of you. Are you fucking kidding me.

That moment when you execute "apt-get update && apt-get upgrade -y" just because you need time to think about how to solve the real problem.

Sudo apt-get remove --purge hurricane-irma

It's 17:55... Did much work that day since I came in earlier than usual, so I could leave in time and do some shopping with the girlfriend.

A colleague comes in to my room, a tad distressed. He had accidentally ran a fixture script on a production environment database (processing a shipload of records per minute), truncating all tables...

Using AWS RDS to rollback the transaction log takes up about 20m. I had to do that about 5 times to estimate the date and time of when the fixture script ran... Since there was no clear point in time...

Finally I get to the best state of the data I could get. I log in remotely run some queries. All is well again... With minor losses in data.

I try to download a dump using pg_dump and apparently my version is mismatched with the server. I add the latest version to aptitudes source list of postgres repo and I am ready to remove and purge the current postgres client and extensions...

sudo apt-get remove post*
Are you sure? (Y/n) *presses enter and enters into a world of pain*

Apparently a lot of system critical applications start with post... T_T

sude apt-get tea

1. firing up the terminal
2. enter sudo apt-get install openvpn easy-rsa
3. realizing I'm on my windows machine

First thing i do in morning is..

sudo apt-get update
sudo apt-get upgrade

Life with ubuntu is easy!

Want to make someone's life a misery? Here's how.

Don't base your tech stack on any prior knowledge or what's relevant to the problem.

Instead design it around all the latest trends and badges you want to put on your resume because they're frequent key words on job postings.

Once your data goes in, you'll never get it out again. At best you'll be teased with little crumbs of data but never the whole.

I know, here's a genius idea, instead of putting data into a normal data base then using a cache, lets put it all into the cache and by the way it's a volatile cache.

Here's an idea. For something as simple as a single log lets make it use a queue that goes into a queue that goes into another queue that goes into another queue all of which are black boxes. No rhyme of reason, queues are all the rage.

Have you tried: Lets use a new fangled tangle, trust me it's safe, INSERT BIG NAME HERE uses it.

Finally it all gets flushed down into this subterranean cunt of a sewerage system and good luck getting it all out again. It's like hell except it's all shitty instead of all fiery.

All I want is to export one table, a simple log table with a few GB to CSV or heck whatever generic format it supports, that's it.

So I run the export table to file command and off it goes only less than a minute later for timeout commands to start piling up until it aborts. WTF. So then I set the most obvious timeout setting in the client, no change, then another timeout setting on the client, no change, then i try to put it in the client configuration file, no change, then I set the timeout on the export query, no change, then finally I bump the timeouts in the server config, no change, then I find someone has downloaded it from both tucows and apt, but they're using the tucows version so its real config is in /dev/database.xml (don't even ask). I increase that from seconds to a minute, it's still timing out after a minute.

In the end I have to make my own and this involves working out how to parse non-standard binary formatted data structures. It's the umpteenth time I have had to do this.

These aren't some no name solutions and it really terrifies me. All this is doing is taking some access logs, store them in one place then index by timestamp. These things are all meant to be blazing fast but grep is often faster. How the hell is such a trivial thing turned into a series of one nightmare after another? Things that should take a few minutes take days of screwing around. I don't have access logs any more because I can't access them anymore.

The terror of this isn't that it's so awful, it's that all the little kiddies doing all this jazz for the first time and using all these shit wipe buzzword driven approaches have no fucking clue it's not meant to be this difficult. I'm replacing entire tens of thousands to million line enterprise systems with a few hundred lines of code that's faster, more reliable and better in virtually every measurable way time and time again.

This is constant. It's not one offender, it's not one project, it's not one company, it's not one developer, it's the industry standard. It's all over open source software and all over dev shops. Everything is exponentially becoming more bloated and difficult than it needs to be. I'm seeing people pull up a hundred cloud instances for things that'll be happy at home with a few minutes to a week's optimisation efforts. Queries that are N*N and only take a few minutes to turn to LOG(N) but instead people renting out a fucking off huge ass SQL cluster instead that not only costs gobs of money but takes a ton of time maintaining and configuring which isn't going to be done right either.

I think most people are bullshitting when they say they have impostor syndrome but when the trend in technology is to make every fucking little trivial thing a thousand times more complex than it has to be I can see how they'd feel that way. There's so bloody much you need to do that you don't need to do these days that you either can't get anything done right or the smallest thing takes an age.

I have no idea why some people put up with some of these appliances. If you bought a dish washer that made washing dishes even harder than it was before you'd return it to the store.

Every time I see the terms enterprise, fast, big data, scalable, cloud or anything of the like I bang my head on the table. One of these days I'm going to lose my fucking tits.

Sudo apt-get food

*Has idea that will change the world!*
*finds awesome software to help accomplish said idea*

$apt install awesome-software

*Get weird error: Google error for 30 minutes and (of course!) come up with nothing useful and finally*

$apt install awesome-software

"Installation Succeded!"

Now.. What was my idea again?!?!

Why I sometimes hate linux:
Found old computer with freya os.. I usually work on Windows, so I thought lets try to work on linux for a change..
First things first: sudo apt-get update / upgrade and while it is doing all the updates lets get something to drink..
Came back, logged inn and mouse is gone.. after some googling and searching on my mobile i found out that alt+ctrl+f1 and then alt+ctrl+f7 fixes problem..
Mouse now is back but upgrade failed half way though because no network.. wifi stopped working.. something wrong with drivers.. so to continue upgrade of OS i need a cable now.. (restart didn't work)
Two hours later I managed to update everything, wifi drivers are working and I managed to post this.. But it's too late to do anything, so I will probably put this away again for couple months and will go through same shit next time I open it.

So I ended up installing Arch Linux as the primary OS in my laptop, and to be honest, I'm not very crazy about it. Because I'm someone who likes an elegant UX, I spent three days and over 50 reboots and 5 reinstalls just trying to get Plymouth to work correctly (in the end, I just said screw it and gave up.) I know, I probably messed something up in the installation or configuration, but I didn't really want to deal with it anymore.

I'm not a big fan of the pacman package manager; I prefer apt. There were several applications I couldn't get to work properly, such as Steam, the Tor Browser, and Wine. All in all, I've basically wasted a week trying to get Arch Linux to work as the daily driver on my laptop, but I guess it's just not the distro for me.

I'm going to give Arch one last shot with the Manjaro distro. I'm hoping that Manjaro's simplified installation and configuration will produce a more usable (in my case) OS, and if not, I'll probably be going back to something Debian-based.

I'm not at all saying Arch is a bad distro. I know many people use it as their daily driver, and I have absolutely no problem with that. I'm not writing this to debate which distro is better, I'm just writing about my experience with it. Arch just may not be the distro for someone like me. At least I gave it a shot, right?

I regret running apt-get upgrade on this fucking shitty ass laptop with a potato CPU.

Fellow ranters , help me out here.
Sudo apt-get 'a life' isn't working.

Last Monday I bought an iPhone as a little music player, and just to see how iOS works or doesn't work.. which arguments against Apple are valid, which aren't etc. And at a price point of €60 for a secondhand SE I figured, why not. And needless to say I've jailbroken it shortly after.

Initially setting up the iPhone when coming from fairly unrestricted Android ended up being quite a chore. I just wanted to use this thing as a music player, so how would you do it..?

Well you first have to set up the phone, iCloud account and whatnot, yada yada... Asks for an email address and flat out rejects your email address if it's got "apple" in it, catch-all email servers be damned I guess. So I chose ishit at my domain instead, much better. Address information for billing.. just bullshit that, give it some nulls. Phone number.. well I guess I could just give it a secondary SIM card's number.

So now the phone has been set up, more or less. To get music on it was quite a maze solving experience in its own right. There's some stuff about it on the Debian and Arch Wikis but it's fairly outdated. From the iPhone itself you can install VLC and use its app directory, which I'll get back to later. Then from e.g. Safari, download any music file.. which it downloads to iCloud.. Think Different I guess. Go to your iCloud and pull it into the iPhone for real this time. Now you can share the file to your VLC app, at which point it initializes a database for that particular app.

The databases / app storage can be considered equivalent to the /data directories for applications in Android, minus /sdcard. There is little to no shared storage between apps, most stuff works through sharing from one app to another.

Now you can connect the iPhone to your computer and see a mount point for your pictures, and one for your documents. In that documents mount point, there are directories for each app, which you can just drag files into. For some reason the AFC protocol just hangs up when you try to delete files from your computer however... Think Different?

Anyway, the music has been put on it. Such features, what a nugget! It's less bad than I thought, but still pretty fucked up.

At that point I was fairly dejected and that didn't get better with an update from iOS 14.1 to iOS 14.3. Turns out that Apple in its nannying galore now turns down the volume to 50% every half an hour or so, "for hearing safety" and "EU regulations" that don't exist. Saying that I was fuming and wanting to smack this piece of shit into the wall would be an understatement. And even among the iSheep, I found very few people that thought this is fine. Though despite all that, there were still some. I have no idea what it would take to make those people finally reconsider.. maybe Tim Cook himself shoving an iPhone up their ass, or maybe they'd be honored that Tim Cook noticed them even then... But I digress.

And then, then it really started to take off because I finally ended up jailbreaking the thing. Many people think that it's only third-party apps, but that is far from true. It is equivalent to rooting, and you do get access to a Unix root account by doing it. The way you do it is usually a bootkit, which in a desktop's ring model would be a negative ring. The access level is extremely high.

So you can root it, great. What use is that in a locked down system where there's nothing available..? Aha, that's where the next thing comes in, 2 actually. Cydia has an OpenSSH server in it, and it just binds to port 22 and supports all of OpenSSH's known goodness. All of it, I'm using ed25519 keys and a CA to log into my phone! Fuck yea boi, what a nugget! This is better than Android even! And it doesn't end there.. there's a second thing it has up its sleeve. This thing has an apt package manager in it, which is easily equivalent to what Termux offers, at the system level! You can install not just common CLI applications, but even graphical apps from Cydia over the network!

Without a jailbreak, I would say that iOS is pretty fucking terrible and if you care about modding, you shouldn't use it. But jailbroken, fufu.. this thing trades many blows with Android in the modding scene. I've said it before, but what a nugget!

- So you just installed ubuntu 18.04, what to do next?

- step one:
sudo apt-get install ifupdown

- step two:
sudo apt-get purge netplan.io

You are all set!

I am a Windows person. I always argue how great it is.

Well, not today.

I was today years old when I learned that you CANNOT uninstall store app via store ;p You need to go to settings / apps and functionality / your app / uninstall

The photo app (Yes the one bundled with win10) doesn't work if you use Hard drive compression AND it is a symlink for OneDrive (So you don't need to keep all photos on the drive). Fucking Paint works without problems.

Email client : If you alt+tab too fast after hitting 'Send email", there is 50% chances that email won't be send. Basiclly you need to hit "send" and wait until you see it in "sent" folder.

Well, as i'm ranting, here for Linux too :
I have a small ubuntu server VM, worked very well for last 6 months. Now "System in read only mode". Fucking apt-get upgrade fucked with something. I don't want to look, so I'll just rebuild a fresh vm.

And macOS should take sometyhing too : Who the fuck decided "enter" is for editing the name of file ?! really !

Well, ALL os are shit, all have downsides, I need my own OS. But I still want AA games... So windows for me.

sudo apt-get update

or

sudo apt update

I think I made someone angry, then sad, then depressed.

I usually shrink a VM before archiving them, to have a backup snapshot as a template. So Workflow: prepare, test, shrink, backup -> template, document.

Shrinking means... Resetting root user to /etc/skel, deleting history, deleting caches, deleting logs, zeroing out free HD space, shutdown.

Coworker wanted to do prep a VM for docker (stuff he's experienced with, not me) so we can mass rollout the template for migration after I converted his steps into ansible or the template.

I gave him SSH access, explained the usual stuff and explained in detail the shrinking part (which is a script that must be explicitly called and has a confirmation dialog).

Weeeeellll. Then I had a lil meeting, then the postman came, then someone called.

I had... Around 30 private messages afterwards...

- it took him ~ 15 minutes to figure out that the APT cache was removed, so searching won't work
- setting up APT lists by copy pasta is hard as root when sudo is missing....
- seems like he only uses aliases, as root is a default skel, there were no aliases he has in his "private home"
- Well... VIM was missing, as I hate VIM (personal preferences xD)... Which made him cry.
- He somehow achieved to get docker working as "it should" (read: working like he expects it, but that's not my beer).

While reading all this -sometimes very whiney- crap, I went to the fridge and got a beer.

The last part was golden.

He explicitly called the shrink script.
And guess what, after a reboot... History was gone.

And the last message said:

Why did the script delete the history? How should I write the documentation? I dunno what I did!

*sigh* I expected the worse, got the worse and a good laugh in the end.

Guess I'll be babysitting tomorrow someone who's clearly unable to think for himself and / or listen....

Yay... 4h plus phone calls. *cries internally*

In Mr.Robot tv series Eliot write:
sudo apt-get install nginx
And he said im hacking FBI :|

Fuck me sideways. I work for a small business doing most of their IT work, a lot of which is in-house software development. Today I was working on a feature of our employee schedule system that I wrote and for the last couple of hours, my laptop (which is my dev machine) kept freezing up on me every ten minutes or so... 😬

Well, I finally found the cause, but only after running apt-get update/upgrade to see if updating fixed the issue. I haven't updated in a LONG time... Productivity is not on the agenda for today I suppose.

sudo apt-get remove -y ruby

Got to know the power of python in Linux today, when I accidently executed apt-get purge python* in Ubuntu and all the UI of Ubuntu got deleted and even the terminal couldn't run normally.
The good thing is I managed to fix it.

Why am i still seeing apt-get?

Save your typing bu just typing apt

Hello, my name is Adam, I'm from Poland.
As a 16 year old dude I thought it would be a great idea to go to an IT focused highschool so I'd get my degree after finishing school but guess what- I completely fucked up.
First, there were the little things, like the teachers favoring other students that already knew stuff, which was okay and all- the problem began when Poziomka appreared (one of our PC service teachers). That motherfucker almost fluked me because of dumb shit like the PC's we worked on took forever to boot, so he's just go and give people F's, "Why?" you may ask- well because "It was obviously the student that made the PC run so slowely".
There were a few more incidents like when we were disassembling and assembling those dumb HP Compaq's PC's on time- and that fucker gave me an F because it took about 10 minutes to boot by itself.

That shit got me so demotivated its unreal, soon I found myself in a pretty dark spot, with my parents divorcing, my whore mother taking all the money- me not finding any reason to do anything in school and the cycle looped.
I'm not gonna pull the depression card here, but what I'm generally trying to say is that although I'm not "awful" at IT in general, so PC assembly, networking, programming (fuck that, I'm fucking awful at it), HTML, I still find it difficult to do anything right.

I have a question, how do I get myself back up? Any ideas?
There's so much material I've gone through in the last three years- and I just wanna make sure to get good- somehow.

I'm just a talentless dumbass kid who just wants to know how to do linux, programming and such, but I don't know where or how to start anymore.
If anyone has any stories where they turned their life around and managed to do IT right- please, tell me how you did it, I just wanna know is there a proper way of doing it.

- Adam

sudo apt-get moo

Super Cow Powers, yey! :D

I think the -f flag in apt-get means "fucking install it". Whenever apt reports some dependency error shit, I'll just do "apt-get install -f" and it magically fucking works.

She : Oh you write code ? Can you hack someone's computer ?

Me : Ya I can show hack google right now....
*types*
sudo apt-get update
sudo apt-get upgrade
*feels like a hacker * 😎

If you spend a lot of time looking with computers then PLEASE use a blue light filter to reduce strain in your eyes as well to help you sleep well.

My favorite program for this is "redshift" and can be set up with this one liner

apt-get install redshift && redshift -O 3000

I just need to get this out.

NPM is not the worst dependency manager. It is way beyond any word in any language that can describe the most negative thing about it.

I developed nodejs projects. I like JS, it's a great language to work with. But not NODEJS, not NPM.

I can run my app in a F* browser but not once, not a single time that nodejs and npm can run at the first time. I spend way more time to build a working environment with nodejs and npm than to build my own app.

whoever developed these two pieces of crap had brains that filled with mud. And who gave them the courage to even put it out for people to use? JS is such a good language and they have ruined it.

There are so many dependency managers out there couldn't they just take a look at how human beings do things? I mean they have never seen APT or Composer or something else that actually work?

Or they just had so much ego that they had to let other people to feel how difficult their lives are.

I don't care about how you manage the dependency and I shouldn't. You people made these crap with one purpose that chould help others to develop easily but NOOOOOO, we have to spice it up, right? You just have to make it fat and greasy, right? You just have to make it doesn't work. I bet you people just redefined the F* CONSTANT of "How to Develope a System that Doesn't Work".

I don't know if NPM genius have ever did a information collection of their system. I bet most function that has been invoked is "throw error".

The funny thing is on NPM website, they provide Enterprise Solutions.... I would sue them for fraud.

Apt-get mywilltolive

sudo apt-get sterile
#kicked in the balls

Here is a visual representation of Angular using NgRx

I think that its quite apt ....

I couldn't post the pic that i wanted to post because i'm sure that this site has some decency guidelines and i don't want to get kicked out

Today I fucked Up by making friend install Linux when he doesn't even know what OS is.

Friend's Windows 7 broke. Unbootable & unfixable. I told him to reinstall. He has no idea how so he told me he will rent a PC (apparently that's a thing) until he buys a new one (he wanted it anyways). I told him it's bullshit to rent for PC when yours is totally ok only without OS.

He agreed and that's where I fucked Up. I told him how to make bootable flash disks(it was pain to get some info from him tho..) and he said he downloaded cracked Win7.. I told him it's suicide to use cracked OS for MANY fucking reasons. He agreed and I told him to install Ubuntu.... I thought it's easy that even my grandma could use it...... Well, apparently I was, in technical terms, "FUCKING WRONG"(all caps cuz tech terms).

He wasn't even able to Google how to install Steam on Ubuntu(apt install steam?) ... Constantly asking me "well and what should i write to Google?" And other shit..

I Always woke up to messages From him like "This shit doesn't work I'mma uninstall it" and I Always responed in one command or first Google result and it suddenly started to work.

After 2 days he gave up and is using cracked Win7. Can't wait for his reaction when I pwn him on nearest LAN party 😂 Maybe he will reconsider using cracked OS.

Anyway I learn from my Mistake. Just fuck me...

🎵you remind me of the babe.
What babe.
Babe with the power.
What power.
Power of voodoo.
Who do.
Sudo.
Do what.
Apt-get.
🎵

Linux shell skills level:

apt-get moo

Recently I have updated my lubuntu to 18.04.
I don't use it regularly but I like to have it on the side of my window 10.
Anyway today I boot and decide to use it and get this error.
[0.000000] [Firmware Bug]: TSC_DEADLINE disabled du to errata; please update microcode to version 0x22 (or later)
and two MMIO read fault.

At first it sounds really dramatic and I was thinking, "Nice ... I never get a problem with Windows Update and when its Linux it doesn't work ..."

But lubuntu boots normally after so it's not a blocking problem.

So I do what most of us do in case like this, go to Google and search to know what the hell is going on.

And the answer is simple, my CPU microcode isn't up to date to prevent Spectre, one apt get install and a reboot later my 4700HQ is patched in 0x24 version and protected for Spectre where my windows didn't patch anything and worst disable the KB that I have installed manually before the last big update.

So thanks Linux, you scared me with your error but it was a good job to throw it :)

sudo apt remove --purge 2018
sudo apt-get install 2019
pip install happiness good-code

Came to know about deepin OS on devrant yesterday
Tried it just few moment ago. It's the most beautiful OS I had ever seen. But ...
There is hell lot of issues. Except for the top sites like google, facebook linkedin github, no other page or site is opening. Browser just stops by saying "site can't be reached". Also these sites are loading slower than usual.
Even internet is unaccessible from terminal. Apt-get install just stops at "getting headers 0%"

Please help

apt-get rekt

It may have been posted on here, but I find it pretty funny.

!rant

just a poll i'm looking for from all the linux based dev's

What distro would you recommend for a front end dev? Tried ubuntu but the wifi driver wasnt supported I guess in my dev machine. Currently looking at Elementary OS, but still undecided. I would primarily like it to be Debian based or something close as I'm very familiar with apt-get debain based stuff, and dont really feel like learning an entirely new distro at them moment.

Thanks all :D

PS. I have a Lenovo Ideapad 110
Specs include quad-core AMD A-8, 8gb ram, 1TB HDD, can give more if necessary

So I was reading a comment where someone said that Windows is sure as hell not polished, just 'psychologically pleasing.' I get that, and I've tried to main with Mint Cinnamon/KDE for a while, and I've tried so many distro, but I have too many issues with Linux to make it a true daily workstation and personal os.

For example, Windows apps typically have installers, graphical ones, which allow you to choose an install location and stuff. Does apt or yum do that? Not unless you use some crazy parametets or some shit.

Okay, fine, what if you DON'T CARE about everything being open source and you just want your 3-monitor Nvidia setup to work without vsync issues? Also a PITA, need to do either cmdline driver install and co fig or some other complicated shit.

I may be considered a power user, but damn if Linux isn't friendly to windows users. Don't get me wrong, I don't like windows, but so far it's the best option for me versus aillion Linux issues. Get me something that functions like Windows on multiple levels (Aesthetic not completely required, but core functionality of programs is.) and only then can I attempt a full migration.

Dear debian package maintainers...
If you want me to add you PPA to my list please MAKE SURE IT FUCKING WORKS!

so after 1000 emails from Google baiting me to try Google cloud tools I did. 24 hours later apt-get is dead and I'm trying to remove the shit storm of gpg keys etc it added to my machine.

apt-get install toilet

Ranter from South Africa! Stickers gone global.
sudo apt-get install rant-stickers

Installing a software on Linux can be such a pain sometimes....
This software needs a dependency, which needs another, which in turn needs another......

I mean if you already know you need it, go install it yourself. Why do I need to do everything manually?

And no. A simple apt get install won't work. You need a third party dependency which adds the package to the repository and some other stuff before you can do anything.

Why? Just why?

Didn't install linux for years now. Today, I have to and nothing changed about wifi drivers, at all ! Even the install process still sucks !

And they still ask to "sudo apt-get install fucking-wifi-driver" ?!?!?!

I don't have internet yet, that's the all point, damn it !

How to flame on ubuntu (play on linux) : sudo apt-get rekt.

I type "sudo apt-get install ..." then I delete the line back till apt and again write the whole fucking statement cause linux wished to save my time in 16.04...

KDE Connect is really a blessing. The fact that I can do everything and more with Android plus Linux combo than iOS plus Mac is superb. I mean, I can remotely send power off command, start Spotify and control it, remotely start apt upgrade, or turn off the screen is so useful. Plus I can reply to the any message from any messaging app, get notifications and transfer files quickly from PC to smartphone and the other way is just great.

!rant && story

tl;dr I lost my path, learned to a lot about linux and found true love.

So because of the recent news about wpa2, I thought about learning to do some things network penetration with kali. My roommate and I took an old 8gb usb and turned it into a bootable usb with persistent storage. Maybe not the best choice, but atleast we know how to do that now.

Anyway, we started with a kali.iso from 2015, because we thought it would be faster than downloading it with a 150kpbs connection. Learned a lot from that mistake while waiting apt-get update/upgrade.

Next day I got access to some faster connection, downloaded a new release build and put the 2015 version out it's misery. Finally some signs of progress. But that was not enough. We wanted more. We (well atleast I) wanted to try i3, because one of my friends showed me to /r/unixporn (btw, pornhub is deprecated now). So after researching what i3 is, what a wm is AND what a dm is, we replaced gdm3 with lightdm and set i3 as standard wm. With the user guide on an other screen we started playing with i3. Apparently heaven is written with two characters only. Now I want to free myself from windows and have linux (Maybe arch) as my main system, but for now we continue to use thus kali usb to learn about how to set uo a nice desktop environment. Wait, why did we choose to install kali? 😂

I feel kinda sorry for that, but I want to experiment on there before until I feel confident. (Please hit me up with tips about i3)

Still gotta use Windows as a subsystem for gaming. 😥

Why does noone implement autoupdater, especialy on linux side? Is there a reason i dont get? Sure, most system stuff is better in apt, but if i install servers, i do not want to wait for these stupid linux release timings! If it were hard, id understand. But most of this is possible with something like GitHub API and 20 Minutes of time. I mean, yeah backwards compatibility and what not, but then handle that internaly.

Example: I use dnsmasq on a raspberry pi. RPI is running raspbian. Raspian is debian 8. Debian 8 has a version of dnsmasq with a pretty annoying bug, which prevents me from using dnssec, as i cant open any cloudflare pages. Why, o why isnt this updated at MY will? Then, if it isnt, why is it so impossible hard to compile this myself, no docs for that, no binaries, NOTHING? Dear server devs, please add atleast basic autoupdate functionality without having to rely on the base os.

Or, give me easily deployable binaries, if you cant write something integrated.

sudo apt-get install coffee

Learning Image Processing,Deep Learning,Machine Learning,Data modeling,mining and etc related to and also work on them are so much easier than installing requiremnts, packages and tools related to them!

/*
* This question isn't about diminishing other operating systems !
* I'm just have no idea. 😫
*/

Is there a big difference on the amount of packages on pacman, apt-get and yum. Can I use either of them and be sure that most applications are available ?

apt-get install life
The following packages will be REMOVED:
destiny, future, goals, mother , father, siblings

FUCK THIS SHIT

Well.. I Guess i can't use apt-get anymore then...

I try to use apt-get ( image at top)

It does not work. Libc6 needs to be
reinstalled.

I try to install a libc6 package i downloaded from packages.debian.org
(image at bottom)

An error occurs.

Fuck My life!

So Pop!_OS is my primary OS for development and Windows is my primary OS for gaming. I have Pop!_OS installed on my laptop (alongside Windows but I almost never use Windows on my laptop) and Windows on my desktop gaming computer.

One of the things I love about Debian-based OSes like Pop is the apt package manager. One of the things I've always hated about Windows is the fact it was lacking a cli package manager like apt.

Then I did a Google search for one and found Chocolatey. Curious about it, I installed it on my laptop (I was in Windows at the time to use FL Studio, which I've found doesn't work very happily with Wine.) With Chocolatey, I installed VirtualBox and Vagrant, and I have to say, I'm not disappointed. I'm ecstatic I've finally found a cli package manager for Windows.

TL;DR: If you use Windows and you don't have Chocolatey, get it.

I have officially decided to use CI (Jenkins) at work because "apt-get update && apt-get upgrade -y && composer self-update && composer update && npm update -g && npm update && bower install --allow-root && gulp" after a pull doesn't seem healthy 😂

In Linux Mint 19 TINA. All I did was

"sudo apt-get remove python"

then, I saw cinnamon being removed in the terminal. Why is linux so dependent on python that much?

Dear Kubuntu 20.04
You're not a programming language but I felt that you fit here in this wkRant so people can see how shitty you became.

It's about 6:27am CET, and you wasted my night, you used to be as simple as sudo apt-get install, now you're mostly PPA first or worse, make. You killed make now we use cmake. We are now looking for debs, which is a pain since you end up in an index site without download here. And the debs now don't work. Missing dependencies. You killed core libraries saying they are now incompatible or obsolete.
All I want is my god damn cli visualiser and osdlyrics back!!

I just setup an apt-cache on my Macbook. Docker no longer takes 10 years to `apt-get install` when I'm at the coffee shop. This coffee shop is going to loose so much money now that my work is done faster.

... but it has super cow powers !

How to run PHP in a container :
1. Begin a docker file for an existing php cron app (when all you know is php, everything looks like a php app)
2. Set the FROM.. Apt get update .. Do composer install
3. Builds the image
4. Discover I need git
5. Add git to apt get install step
6. Builds the image
7. Launch the php script
8. Fatal : use of undefined constant SOL_UDP
9. Opens the source code of the third party. The there's no mention of where that constant is from.
10. Spend many minutes online to find what's missing.
11. Find the PHP sockets page about that option. Digs into the documentation to find out that's missing from the installed PHP.
12. Find out I need to add a step to install the socket extension in my docker file.
13. Build the image again
14. Execute it, finally it works
15. Remember why I hate php
(for brevity I've omitted the even more complex part of having to set up zlib)

How to install node js in a container image:
FROM node:8
ADD package.json
RUN npm install

Start up my windows gaming machine, the internet adapter is not recognized... sigh.

2 years with my macbook pro for work, 0 issues. Literally "it just works".

And no thanks, I already went through that teenager phase of my life where I'd shout "omg I use linux I'm so special" and then browse through 5 forums to solve a stupid issue from any tool by "just build it from source, follow these 12 steps and apt-get these other 20 dev libs"

What do you do when you are hungry/peckish and it's late?

It's 🌃 time and I don't have anything to eat (except maybe some stupid cookies)

I wish I could do
'npm i snacks'
or
'sudo apt-get snacks'

And I would receive snacks from my computer or something..

npm might also give some extra snacks plus ingredients as dependencies 😅

Maybe I can make coffee..☕?

use apt-get to install node and npm, use npm to install bower, use bower to install angular... Packageception.

Logged into the vm as root. Saw that there were some security updates pending. Ran apt-get upgrade. Lost all ssh access to the vm. FML

The only difference between a beginner dev and a veteran dev is that the beginner is afraid to touch what he doesn't know, while the veteran embraces it.

Accept that you don't know all and will never know everything. Even so, learn something new everyday. Fight your ego when it tries to make you keep only what you know and reject everything else. Fight that bastard.

The world needs less "I know", and more "I wanna know". And remember, devs should be in the "I wanna know" team.

sudo rm - rf ego
sudo apt-get knowledge-upgrade

Lesson of the day: First read installation tutorials for software on linux completely before doimg esch step without knowing the rest...

On the Clients dial in number, in the waiting room:

Such a Porn Groove playing

Pretty apt i suppose

most the time I'm either Fucked or about to get Fucked on these calls

Running apt-get upgrade on a pi:

mirror.daniel-jost.net: 2000kbps
archive.raspberrypi.org: 100kbps

Someone notice a difference?

After falling down the Manjaro hole for months I yesterday decided to leave Manjaro for Pop!_OS. I lose a bit of performance and battery life, I gain a ton of UI polish, I gain a lot of package support, and I lose some hard earned nerd points.

My NAS has an easy to install Debian tool for file sync. I can use Etcher for making bootable USB/SD for my raspberry pi. Firefox is the default browser and I can use all my plugins and password manager out of the box. Apt is easier to use than pacman. Easier Python development setup. Docs are more often written for Debian. (For some reason I spent hours trying to get powerline and oh-my-zsh working right in manjaro’s xfce terminal before giving up.)

TL;DR: fear of bricking my laptop due to typo pinning.

The worst nightmare i am living in right now...

I was noticing i did need some software in sid so i decided to use apt pinning for said software...

I configure the system, ok test looks good... I push it to production, run it on the system....and the nightmare starts.

Lits of packages get updated, and i am screaming 'noooooooo' since debian sid softwarz can sometimes break everything! I discovered that i did test my apt pinning config for the presence of the amount of numbers, but not at their value... Sooo, by accident swapping pin numbers for stable and unstable you get... Your worst apt-get update nightmare...

I hope it does not become a brick.

I feel hopeless after Unity fails to start/run under your primary user but works fine using guest user and other user in the system. And i did my research to fix it, but none seems to work. :(

The last thing i did to my laptop that might cause the error is executed the commands below:
sudo apt-get update
sudo apt-get upgrade

I've been using an arch based distro that really required pretty much nothing in terms of know-how to get it set up. Tonight, I randomly checked the ~/.bashrc file today and found some cute aliases.

# Help people new to Arch
alias apt-get='man pacman'
alias apt='man pacman'
alias helpme='cht.sh --shell'
alias please='sudo'
alias tb='nc termbin.com 9999'

Nicest part about working on my home server: being able to just blindly update.

Who cares if that breaks kibana or my plex server? I'm the only one using them.

It can be downright cathartic to just run sudo apt-get upgrade

zypper update
apt upgrade

They always get me lost 😭😭😭

Alright so cool story about my idiocy and it’s relationship to Learning Ruby on Rails.

So I decided to start learning ruby and it takes a lot from python(idk which One came first correct me off I’m wrong)
The tutorial I started was using version 4.2 of rails or something and the latest version was 5.1 so me being a fucking idiot continued to install and learn plus I had to open 2 questions on stack exchange that could be solved with an apt-get install command and after 3 days of my understanding what the actual fuck was going on. I reinstalled Mint and got it working.

After JetBrains and sublime text and all my shit was off my NAS I started the tutorial again with everything installed correctly and quit at the 4 minute mark because my bundle install command didn’t work correctly still having trouble and I feel like I should just stick to HTML and CSS

Anyone else get slightly terrified after apt-get upgrading and want to never reboot again.
On a side note.. I return!

The positive side of EnvVars...
So a couple of weeks ago I moved all api keys and db passwords to environmental variables on the server so that I didn't have to keep worrying if I'm live in my test environment.

Earlier I shat myself after an apt-get upgrade broke php and apache somehow decided it's a great idea to serve all .php files as plain text. I was super relieved to find no confidential information (apart from logic) was made public.

Sudo apt-get install -y php7.1
E: unable to locate package php7.0
E: couldn't find any package by regex php7.1

Just tried to Setup my elementary os on my Home pc..
The Shit wont work!! Damn!
No WiFi connection! I tried everything.. i think there is a Problem with my Driver.. I was so desperated that i created a Mobile Hotspot, it worked, I run apt get Update and Upgrade , this Shit used over 100mb of my Internet volume.. then i tried the Shit again ... Connect to my WiFi at Home... And it... Doesn't work... Shit!

so yeah all i wanted to do was to install ffmpeg and it starting bitching about some dependancy errors and when i tried to fix it, i ended up wrecking my whole system because i started to play around with the sources list....
FUXK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUXKDJXHSISBSKSHAKXHKDHDUXODKCHSJDNSHDH FUCKKKK YOUUUUUUUUU IM SO TEMPTRD TO FORMAT THE WHOLE LAPTOP BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT FUCK

I am having some issues. When I try to do sudo apt update or sudo apt upgrade, I get the attached error.

One of the best things about linux is the ease with which you can update packages, just sudo apt-get update && sudo apt-get upgrade. None of that stupid installer which downloads an updater which updates the program shit.

Quick do this,

$ sudo apt-get install sl
$ unalias sl
$ sl

Thank me later :D

-----
sudo apt-get remove 2017
------
------
apt-get install 2018
--------
echo " HAPPY NEW YEAR:joy:"
--------
--------
apt-get update

Me : mahn, I'm not able to setup pythn bindings for vim
Friend ( who is tired of me saying about vim ): go get a life
Me: sodo apt-get life
Me: looks like the package is not available, what is the exact name?

I am currently running a heavily modded version of Ubuntu 18.04. I remove gnome applications, installed xfce with sddm for my login manager, plus removed a bunch of their pre-installed applications. I mostly use AppImages and snaps for installations with occasionally using apt for packages I am too lazy to build or are not in snap form.

I have been contemplating switching to Arch/Antegros/Manjaro. Mostly because I am crazy and heard that I could get a performance boost and I like being more in control of my own software.

My question is this, does it make sense for me to switch distros? Also, I'd like to have a close to the metal Arch install, but last time I did that I got annoyed with configuring too much from the bare bone, took me like close to an hour of setup, it was not hard, just really tedious.... Is Antegros/Manjaro have options to be really close to the bare-metal? Is there maybe a really good install script that I can just tweak some basic settings for?

Probably the weirdest single command I have ever entered so far:
apt-get install postgresql-12 postgresql-11 postgresql-10 postgresql-9.6

In other words - testing an internal tool across all of our supported postgres versions, but... Just found it funny in a way... Dunno, maybe my humor is just weird.

As my apt renovation is nearly completed it's time to get all the cool toys. And that's where I need your ideas :)

what should I get? What techie-stuff would you think is worth considering?

I for one have wet dreams about vacuuming robots. Not a roomba ofc [bcz it ties to Apple], smth else. I get that an opensource robot would be a pipe dream, but I'd love smth I could control via bash scripts [prolly via lan] at least. Some api would be nice :) . Any advices here? Cleaning quality should be way above 'okay'.

Recently I stumbled upon some articles on the internet claiming you could use window managers on the windows subsystem for Linux. I got a tad too excited, left what I was studying (today I regret it, I just finished a test I didn't know shit about), and started sudoing apt-get install the fuck out of my terminal. Downloaded an X server for Windows and pressed i3 on the terminal.

The server's window was black, but I knew everything was ok, so I pressed alt+enter. My poor eyes melted on the presence of the brightest, whitest terminal window I've ever seen. I must admit I felt really disgusted by the white, but that didn't matter, I had fucking i3 running on my windows laptop. Now when I get home I'll try to fix the dbus problem that prevents gui programs from starting and make everything look pretty. I hope it works!

tldr: I burned my eyes with a white terminal.

I spent about an hour today working on getting an arduino board working before discovering that my IDE wasn't the latest version. In fact, it was outdated by several years.
Why are the apt caches so old? I keep my machine updated constantly but what's the point if it's locked at an old package forcing me to circumvent apt in the first place?

So, today, I wanted to try setting up a wireguard VPN server on my little raspberry pi at home. I... expected /some/ issues, but what I found dumbfounded me.

1 - I already had the wireguard package from the unstable branch of the main raspbian repo installed... Huh, okay.
2 - Setting up config was extremely easy... Wow, so the rumors were true. Wireguard really is almost dumb-simple.
3 - Failed to create a network interface? Oh, trouble, here it is! So lets see... modprobe wireguard... Nope. Don't have the module? What?
4 - Reconfigure package to rebuild the module - missing kernel headers? Huh... weird

This was the simple stuff... Then I went down the rabbit hole of the Raspberry Pi ecosystem:

1 - There is the Raspberry Pi Bootloader, that is apparently separate from the Kernel itself. And I didn't seem to have any of the standard linux-image-* installed... What? Weird, yet there I was, running a 4.19.42-v7+ kernel...
2 - No kernel and no headers... What... The... Fuck
3 - Okay, so... Lets just... try to install the latest kernel image then? One apt-get install... It downloaded the image, but during package configuration, it failed because... I didn't have... its headers? What? What for? And if it needs them (for whatever reason), why isn't the headers package as a dependency? Ugh, whatever...
4 - Another apt-get install and... Okay, building the initrd image aaaaand...
FAIL
WHAT. What is it this time!?

Oh... Ran... No more space on device? What? Is /boot independent? Of course it is, it has to be, its a bloody different filesystem

Okay, so, lets che-OH MY GOD WTF.

Its just bloody 45 MBs big! The entire /boot is just 45 MBs large. WHY. THE. FUCK.

This was a default raspbian install from I have no idea when. But... Why. Oh WHY would ANYONE pre-configure /boot to be this incredibly tiny!?

No wonder the new init ramdisk couldn't fit in there! Its already used up from 64%!

Thanks, Raspbian Devs, now I gotta reinstall the whole system because, yes, the /boot is, of course, sector 8192. Just far enough from 2048 that there are *some* sectors free - About 3 MBs.

So what did I try? Remove the partition and recreate it from the very beginning. Only... I never tried in in the past, and okay, kernel doesn't like having the partition where its image resides deleted on the fly, it will not give up FDs pointing there or something.

So now, I have a system I cannot reboot, or it will never boot back up :|

Thanks, Raspbian!

I need to get a cheap 1U somewhere or something T.T

So our webserver teacher have been throwing around the idea that before installing anything on a Ubuntu Sever, you should run apt-get update (yes you should)

But, he also instructed everyone to run apt-get upgrade as well (in case some dependencies need to be updated)

Now for fucks sake:::::
1) apt will automatically sort out dependencies when you install a new program
2) you never ever efffing fucking wanna run apt-get upgrade on a live server. I'm not a sysadmin, but this seems like a really fucking bad idea, right?

Nothing's worse than when you sudo apt-get intsall a package and you know that it's gonna take some time so you take a fucking nap but when you wake up fresh to work it says...

E: Invalid operation intsall.

-FML

Why does it have to be so incredibly hard to get an nvidia card to work under Linux? The driver is in available, we have the technology but every time I try to get this damned thing to work I end up in front of a fucked XServer and this stupid "Something went wrong" gdm screen only to apt-purge nvidia from my drive and start from the beginning once more.

On Kali Linux. When I'm running
apt -get install openssh-server openssh-client for installating SSH server, I am getting 404 only. What should I do?
Any idea anybody?

Ubuntu mate looks good. But man its so hard to remove it. A simple apt-get remove didnt do the trick. Spent a long time removing all packages. Still it is there in the login screen. Let it stay there. I am tired.

Here I try to install a package locally. If the package doesn't install, I try to install every single word of the output from the failed install. Maybe one of those words will install an unmet dependency.

function install() {
need=$1
apt-get source $need && cd $need
c="./configure --prefix=$HOME/tmp"
m="make && make install"
eval set $($c)$($m)
if [ -x "$(command -v $need)" ]
cd ..
return 0
fi
for i
do install $i
done
}

After switching distros ~ every 6 months for years, I came to the conclusion that one of the main factors to decide if I like it or not is its package manager..

Not saying that some are better or worse than others, just that i have my preferences..

How important is the package manager to you guys, do you even use it via terminal or are you using a GUI (in which case it doesn’t really matter, does it?..)

Kind of a random question but would be interesting for me to know..

I like pacman, not even sure why, it just feels right to me and apt-get just because I know it best😅

"docker-compose is already the newest version (1.25.0-1)" after apt-get upgrade docker-compose. Actually there is 1.29.1 which includes the bugfixes I wanted, but apt seems to prefer the buggy version for stable LTS Ubuntu at least. Wasted 3 hours with seemingly broken repositories until I found out.

#sudo apt-get Commit to your Code

Fuck maven. For fucks sake. If you want to install something in js project, you do yarn add ... and shit works. If you want to install on linux you do apt-get ... If you want to install ANYTHING on windows in fuckin 2020 you download it and it has an .exe.

But not maven. Oh nooooo. You need to do all the bullshit with configuration, set shitty paths and just pray for someone to shoot you.

Don't punish me for Windows. It's a God damn corporate policy not my sane choice...