Learning 10 languages
Practicing 6
Understanding 2
Using 1

Enough said

I received this fantastic t-shirt 😌

On the job 😊. Told them I could code in the interview... and they believed me.

Now I'm our Director of Technology, and spend at least 8 hours a day building everything from GraphQL APIs to Electron apps. It's been an awesome journey!

FUCK YOU MR ROBOT JUSY TELL ME EVERYTHING THATS GOING ON THAT YOU HAVENT TOLD ME YET FOR FUCKS SAKE I JUST WANNA KNOW NOW!!!

When you find a result on google that has the exact same title as your problem and get a 404 page after clicking it...

++ if ur waiting for season 4 of silicon valley

During some late coding I started wondering why on earth someone beamed a headlight through my window, until I realized it was the sun...

I got a lot of stuff done though
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My boss in our northern office literally told my colleague that he'd been refreshing the site several times every few minutes and could clearly see that we hadn't done shit.

Keep in mind that we are heavily cached with Varnish and Drupal Cache on our server, and this guy is never at the office. He was seeing our website from 3 days ago because his browser was retrieving local cache from the last time he was actually there and it was during a time where we had some broken items on the site.

The part that pisses me off most is that not only did he not know to purge his browser cache to see changes, but he thought my coworker was making up hocus-pocus technobabble to "cover for me" by telling him how to clear his cache.

This guy installed AirMail, 8 times on his Mac because he was entering SMTP settings that were literally given to him in screenshots with every step illustrated and every field of configuration available for reference, incorrectly. So yeah I can see how he would be technically capable of micro managing me. Fuck.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

That moment when you run the program again without doing nothing to see if the problem is fixed. 🤔

"How can you spend the whole day in front of the computer? It's saturday!"

Yeah, and it's my weekend, I spend it how I want to, I have fun doing this...

When people call themselves a "professional web developer," but all they do is set up a Wordpress site with a custom skin. Alright then! 🙄

Walk down the street. Accidentally discover I'm in the way of none other than Stephen Hawking.

Not even lying about that.

Feel like a fucking rock star.

I hate those movies/tv series in programmer just tap on some keys and says it's done. this makes programming/coding looks so easy.

FUCK YOU MAN ITS NOT EASYYYY

Ad for programmer in 70s.

When you don't know what is the wrong with your code :'(

Real fact!!!

Too many side projects that you have lost motivation to continue or no time to complete :(

Why developers always have +20 tabs opened in there browser, and they continue open more tabs .....?

don't forget to release build ;)

When you have an all nighter and you wake up in the morning with a working code

I hate dumb ass meetings that have nothing to do with me but people invite me just for the kicks

"How long will this bug that you have no background or context for take to fix" I DON'T KNOW

Implementing Slack in the company really helped improve general communication between the two offices.. That was until we were told not to use it because there's a 10,000 message history limit on the free version and 'important documentation' was being lost... FML

When I started working as designer my boss at that time liked to invite people to remote control me, sit or stand behind my neck to explain their will and tell me to do this, "can we try this?", "can it be changed to another color?", "is it possible to move logo to the left?" and all that m*f*cking shit.

It didn't take long before I decided that I wouldnt accept that anymore.

They come with that energy, that illusion of power to play god with your fast mouse...

The first solution was to stand up with them around the chair and tell them I would take notes, then do the changes and mail them. That worked but sometimes it didn't feel right for the boss who got mad and tried to handle the mouse like trying to pretend she was going to do it...

In case the visit was by surprise I used this method, not sitting in worst position. Just recover dignity standing to their commaning stance.

The best and what became the real solution was printing things we needed, receive and guide clients to a meeting room where we would discuss things and take notes on the papers.

When you are trying to cut back on coffee but realize you picked the wrong career for that

My life hurts when I have to develop on someone else's computer and they use the "light-theme". #teamdarkside

We all know at least one...

Client: "Please make carrots with these tomato seeds."
Me: "But that's not possible."
Client: "These are strict requirements. Or we have to find someone who can."

** takes said tomatoes and makes them physically look carrots. Presents said carrots excited that I may pull this off **

Client: "These carrots are not blue like all known carrots. We've decided to go with someone else."

Ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu