Thats what i saw on a wall in New Delhi, India... Lol

Story of my life

Stoned..!

Showering at a geeks house!

Me greeting a female friend with a joke: Hey baby, wanna play with my python?
Her: Only if it's well commented and production ready.
Me: I love you.
Her: I know.

Me: *just playing around with Git on my terminal*

Friend: "Man, you're such a geek, typing your git command on the terminal.. I myself can't use git without the GUI at all"

Me: *stares at him in silence*

Me: "Wait... THERE 'S A GUI FOR THAT?"

*true story when I was in college*

Almost all fellow programmers I've met have either wanted to be my boyfriend, thought I was a fake geek girl, or were too shy/intimidated to talk to me. (or a combination.)

devRant is the only place I've actually met friendly developers.

If you still are a geek!
Check, what worse can you do ??

wheiii got my new shirt :P

Wikipedia says that a nerd/geek lacks social skills. They should see this amazing community, thanks DevRant :)

!geek girlfriend

Me and my partner are in the car driving. We drive by a young girl who is on her scooter. I look at my gf and ask,

Me: do you sometimes have some weird thoughts in mind (and nothing relating to sex her just so you know).

Her: well what do you mean?

Me: well i se that person scootering on the sidewalk and i imagine screaming at her like a lunatic “GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD PUNK” (which the little girl clearly isn't).

She laughs.

Her: yeah，i do too but it's more scientific， like sometimes i wonder how many times some one would flip. In the air if i hit them with the car or how long would it take some one to reach the ground if i pushed them off the balcony.

....

Me: silence...

Skin goes white

Her: looks at me with a big smile!!!

Im not sure if this is good or bad ;)

Shakespeare was not just a poem, but also an IT geek

When you're a geek and u love Memes

Life is like git...
Think before you commit

Free advice take it or leave it
A few days ago I completed my one year work anniversary(is that how it's said) at my first job. And this rant is basically stuff I learnt and stuff I wish someone had told me when I was starting out. Here goes:-

When you are starting out your first job you would be a fresh out of college and people around you in college are your friends where as people around you at work are colleagues. Your friends can like you, but you have to earn the respect of colleagues.

If you sit yo ass too long u will become fat(started going to the gym again).

Don't bother your seniors too much. they have their own shit to deal with.

Don't bring your personal shit to office I don't want to hear how cute your dog looked while it took a dump on your carpet.

Avoid the person who gossips.
It's a two way street.

Whatever you find amazing your boss may not you know coz you are a geek and your boss isn't.

Don't talk to people when they are coding.Yeah just don't.

Avoid "below the belt" humor you may look funny but you loose respect in the long run.

Keep upgrading yourself don't stop learning.

Admit stuff you don't know don't Bullshit.

To sum it up it's a game of respect, respect of knowledge,respect of skill and most of all respect of attitude.

I thought I was a hardcore geek until I came on here.

Super chill enviroment tho

Programmers are some of the nicest people you will meet.

Except the 12 year old hackers.

dafaq??

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

Tonight, I had the pleasure of being challenged to make a virus for a VM over at the awesome "virus aquarium": computernewb.com

I present to you the Eevee fork/bomb.
Tonight, was the first night where I've ever sat down and programmed in VBS. I had a lot of fun doing it too. Right now I'm aiming at corrupting taskkill, tskill, and shutdown for good measure. These are a few of the things that my buddy has pulled on me that has made it difficult for me to continue moving forward.

The other part is to create seperate .exe files that would run my the necessary script. Each of these .exe files will be unique such that it's more difficult to shut all of them down at once.

Despite the fact that this thing will quite literally break your computer, it's fun being challenged to think outside of the box. Quite literally. I've always been careful about what things I touched on a PC, but tonight was fun because I was basically unchained and allowed to run rampant.

As a computer geek I think it's good to let out your inner demon and see what havoc one could wreak.

When you watch LotR as a geek xD

Computer Science is probably the only major where if you suck at it and end up dropping out, you're more likely to be a leader than someone who is good at it and sticks with it.

There were roughly 200 people in my freshman class majoring in CS, by my sophomore year that number had dropped to about 120. A lot of people dropped out because it was too damn difficult for them, and they switched to less technical majors like "Business Information Technology" or "Management Information Systems." Almost without exception, the people who dropped out are now managing teams of developers, they actually have programmers reporting to them. Seriously, WTF?

This isn't even the worst of it, there are people who majored in art history who are now "product managers," who take the word "manager" in their job title literally, they think they're above developers. Some of them will even profess with no small amount of pride that they "know nothing about technology." You can hear the pride in their voice when they say it, as if they're saying "I'm a lot of things, but at least I'm not a geek." Is there any other field of study where people boast with such pride that they know nothing about it? I mean, very few people will say "I know nothing about history" or "I know nothing about literature", and if they do say it, they'll say it with a bit of humility. When it comes to Computer Science though, knowing nothing about it is almost a badge of honor.

Rant the f**k over.

Short story time.

The last girl I dated was a proper geek. Like the kind of geek another geek wants. So one fine day she told me that she was making a greeting card for me. I was happy. After a few weeks she gave me the card and it was really cute. I loved it.

I reached home and received an email from her with a link in it. It was the link to a website she had made where each message from the card was deciphered to the real message.

DAAAAMNNN😱😱

That wasn't all. She didn't want the entire thing to be too easy. So the deciphered messages were password protected and I had to guess it.

When I was 14, I was bad at many things. I sucked at sports cause I was weak and small. School was boring so I did not study. I mostly played games.
During a summer break, I wanted to change shit in WarCraft 3, as I heard from a friend that heard it from a friend, that you can do that. Many internet searches later I realised that you kind of just tell to the game what you want it to do, just simplified. If (target is enemy) do damage, for (every human player) make sparkly stuff...
After months of "playing" games, the new school year started and I got, for the first time, a proper computer class. Imagine my surprise when we started doing the shit I did all summer. That year I had 100% on all tests.
Many years later programming gave me friends, made my inner nerd and geek come out, gave me a free trip to the USA to represent my country, two TEDx talks, and finally a job that I like with the pay I can live with.

True story..

Math Prof.: What is the result of √-4 ?
Noobs: 2i
Geek: An Indian bread called "NaN" 😎

Today I told a fellow dev to join devRant, and explained it was "like Reddit, but only for developers"

Wild manager caught us and said "Uh, just what everybody wants, some geek forum. Thank god I left that world a long time ago"

Fucker...

I'm all for geeky, feminine clothing, but surely they could have consulted a real developer before putting Javascript on a BSOD-blue/old-school-console-development-blue blue dress? It's like having a shirt that says "I love tacos" with pictures of sushi. Similar, but just wrong.

System failure

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

2. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.

3. A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

4. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC

5. Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.

6. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself

7. In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.

8. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#

9. What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte

10. Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache

11. Why did the geek add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his Facebook profile?
He wanted to keep a low profile.

12. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

13. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

14. 8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."

15. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

16. These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

17. "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."

18. If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

19. There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.

20. There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

I hate it when people rant that we need to call 'Ctrl, Alt & Delete' for help when we're in problem.

Real geek will use 'Ctrl + Shift + Esc'.

I am a software engineer and my cousin is a Geek Squad employee for the local Best Buy. And he thinks we do the same thing.

I would be in the nano row.

It's amazing to see how far we've come!!!🤓🤓🤓

I am a hobby programmer. I just got rejected by the biggest crush of my life. I guess I'm stuck with my stupid wothless fucking life writing code. How fucking exciting....

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.

A Geek is born

I always find great geek wear.

In a career talk about the importance of the IT industry:
Speaker: "Who here uses AWS?"
*I'm the only one who raised my hand in a hall of ~100 IT students*
Speaker: "Good, you are a geek that everyone should aim to be!"
Ummmm… Is that a compliment…? Why do I feel a bit offended…

Best part of being a dev :
You get to live the stereotype. "She doesn't talk much, she is always on her laptop - coding, always has headphones on. Too much of a geek. Let's not invite her to a party. "

No awkward "Uh , I cant come. " Yay! B-)

So today I had a client come in and give me a free "broken" laptop that wouldnt turn on and was covered in grease and what appeared to be dog hair everywhere. So i go through my every day troubleshooting, found the problem and fixed it. Next i disassemble the entire laptop and just start air dusting and cleaning connections like crazy. Now I'm a proud owner of a really old school laptop that I can probably keep alive for another 10 years :) This will be a perfect machine to test arch linux on 😃

Just thought that there should be a Harry Potter based code camp where the four houses represents a language that you are learning at the camp.

For example, Gryffindor can be ruby, Hufflepuff can be Javascript, Ravenclaw can be PHP and, of course, Python is Slytherin.

It was really tough to get the control back!

I will never not post the geek shit i buy here

This looks gorgeous.

When Your computer gets too much hot, It freezes.

Who else has this superpower?!

Learning a new language is like first time doing sex, it's hard at the beginning but when you start doing it right you just want more and more! :) good morning guys !!

Chrome memory haha :D

Everytime I see the tag 'geek' on here I die a bit inside. We're all geeks, you ain't special boy!

I flashed TWRP in my phone and it didn't boot anymore. I didn't have any image of any operating system in my sdcard and my pc hasn't a sd card slot.
So I started thinking, I googled for some solution, I tried the official tools, but nothing worked. So I started writing an adb script able to download the image from the server and install it in my phone.
While I was doing it I was also explaining my troubles to my no-tech friend. She's not confident with computers, she's able only to turn the pc on and go to Facebook.
She told me "why don't you put your sd card in another phone and download the operating system from it?"

She literally saved my day.

Sometimes we are so busy with our geek things and we forget trivial solutions

What has happened to the world.

"Declare variables, not war"

#peace

My second year of high-school, we started having class in computer science. I was really looking forward to it cause I always wanted to learn programming.

On first sight it appeared that the professor which taught the class knew something, he looked like a genuine geek with those dorky glasses, briefcase and pants like Steve Urkel, but after couple of his lessons you could see he had no real dev experience and just basic understanding of programming in theory. He was more reading stuff from the book than he was trying to explain them to students and give some real world examples.

So it was just one these days, everybody got back from vacation, it's hot outside, the guy is just reading sentences from his book, half of students talk with each other and other half doesn't give a fuck about him or his class. Pretty sure I was the only one trying to listen to him and learn something from his recitals.

All of a sudden he notices the atmosphere in the classroom, slams the book shut, gives out couple of F-s to the loudest students and yells out loud "NONE OF YOU IN THIS ROOM WILL EVER ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE, BARE ALONE IN PROGRAMMING"

At first I felt like shit, but soon after that I started thinking "who the hell are you to tell me what I could or will accomplish in my life". Couple weeks later I've bought myself a first book in programming and started learning C++ late at night since I understood that I won't learn anything about programming in that school. Two years later I was correcting this same professor with his claims on a whiteboard in front of a whole class.

Today, seven years after his words I'm a developer living in foreign country with what I could say somewhat a solid experience and understanding of how both software and web are build, while that same professor still recites to his pupils difference between assembly and object code, while praying nobody asks him where and how these are used. For maybe a quarter of my paycheck. So much about his psychic powers..

laptop gamers....

What do you guys think of my office? I do all my web dev work on a monitor mounted above my bed using my split Infinity Ergodox keyboard / trackpad. Probably the most lazy / ergonomic / comfortable / geeky setup possible. 🤓

Working at best buy (don't remember if I was geek squad yet or not).
"hi sir, that line hasn't moved in a while, I was headed up to help, but let me ring you up here so you can get on with your day."
"thanks!"
...random talking leads to graduation and what's next...
"my friend works at *company* and seems to really like it. I gave him my resume when he asked, but i guess is boss can't hire anymore people or something, so I'm applying other places. It's been about a year."
"oh. Hi. I'm boss. Send resume again"

The school I went to...

Grade 1:
*GTA and minecraft to let student familiarize with cheating command and console

*Student should find and read the damn documentation him/herself about items, mobs and quests in every game. Be self motivated!

Grade 2:
*Contribute to community for myth hunting, map creation and glitch

*Solve personal networking, graphics problem and understanding hardware limitation.

*Solving game compability problem after Windows update

*Introduction to cracking and hacking

Grade 3:
*Motivation to host a game server

*Custom server scripting => start To really code the first time, Perl, python, etc

*Introduction to Linux server and Debian

Grade 4:
*From DDoS to server security

*Server maintenance and GitHub

*Game Server web development

*Motivation into non-gaming discipline by a random YouTube geek

*Set up mincraft with raspberry pi and Arduino

*Switch to Linux or Mac and just dual boot for gaming

Prepared for the real world.
Congratz for the graduation in the Pre-school of Developers (11-14 yrs old) :)

Procaffeinating--- It pisses me off when the lipstick that I'm wearing alters the taste of the coffee.

I had a very informal interview/information session with a hot girl earlier this week.

Being the #foreveralone type, I'm calling it a date with a hot girl, when I tell my family about it. 😍

We scheduled a follow-up session for next week, which will be even more informal than before. Now it'll be more like a date, and I won't feel so bad telling people she liked me enough to go on a second date. 🙃

What can I say, I take what I can get. 🤗

Okay so even at my advance 52 years of age, I still pull all nighters to handle emergency remediation projects, and clean up other peoples messes. I don't mind, I'm a geek, I get high on the challenge of fixing shit that is broken all to hell.

But tonight was different. Tonight has me raging.

I am tasked with renovating a website, and building a sister site to that main site as well. no bother, I haven't done any web dev in 15 years but I'll power through pulling 18 to 20 hours a day for a couple of weeks to get in the groove...

Little did I know... CSS is a pain in the ass to be sure, but FLEXBOX is total and complete bullshit.

I don't give to shits about all the fancy shit it can do, it can't do simple shit worth a damn. Fuck Flexbox, and anyone involved in producing that useless layout model.

The sheer number of idiots promoting that hunk of shit a solution that is to be applied to any task other than wiping my ass is astounding.

Fuck all you jerk offs out there posting your shitty mark up turds as if they are gold, when you know better than anyone it works, sometimes, then doesn't, and is so easy to break it may as well be called "Web Design Jenga".

I'm still tired as hell, and tomorrow I will go back to slogging through CSS as the layout method, but at least I feel a little better now.

Oh and before I forget FUCK YOU FLEXBOX you piece of shit.

is this a good place to put the devRant sticker on? I guess the geek factor will increase just a little bit...

Geeko Sapiens

Now bullying the bullies 😀

Today as my friend left for lunch, I opened his code, and changed all the ';' (semi-Colon) to ';' (Geek Question Mark). It's been 10+ hours, still no push from his side on the repo, called him... He is still stuck on the same.. and I won't tell him.

I am a horrible person. 😂

If wish he had lived long enough to buy an LCD.

R.I.P.

I've seen several rants about dumb/useless teachers, college and the CS degree studies; today is a good day to vent out some "old" memories.

Around two semesters ago I enrolled in a Database seminar with this guy, a tall geek from the 80's with a squeaky voice, so squeaky mice could had an aneurysm if they listened to him.

Either way this guy was a mess, he said he was an awesome coder, that we were still "peasants" when it came to coding, that relational databases had nothing on him since he was an awesome freelancer and did databases every day, that we had to redo the programming course with him and with his shitty, pulled out of the ass own C++ style guide with over 64 different redacted rules.

He gave us sample code of "how it should be done" in Java...it ain't my favorite language but fuck me a fucking donkey could have written better code with his ass!! He even rewrote Java's standard input function and made it highly inefficient. He still wrote in a structural paradigm in OOP languages! And he dared to make this code reviews were he would proyect someone's code and mock it in front of the class as he took off points, sometimes going to the negative realm (3,2,1,0,-1...)

But you know what's shittier? That he actually didn't even attend, 90% of the time, it was literally this:
> Good morning class
> Checks attendance. . .
> I'll be back, I'm going to check in...
> 1 hour 45 minutes later (class was 2 hrs long) - comes back
> do you have any doubts?
> O.o no...? I'm ok.
> We're done

Not only that, he scheduled from 4 to 17 homeworks throughout the week, I did the math, that was around 354 files from everyone; of course he didn't check them, other students from higher semesters did and they gained each point taken from students making students from lower semesters get the short end of the stick.

How did I pass? He didn't understood my code or database schema and he knew he couldn't fail me as he had no ground to stand on.

Thanks for listening, if you got to the end of this long ass post and had a similar experience I'd love to read it.

*On a date*
Girl: What's the most daring thing you've ever done ?
Me: Once I accidentally ran sudo rm -rf /*
Girl: That's hot !

Assigned to a new project team..

Using git, in a creative way. So.. "master" is "dev" branch, usually. Everyone can push their branch to dev server .. so it's "dynamic for us". Production branch is whatever, as long as the branch has the release version. Sometimes, the release comes from "master".. that mean "dev" in normal geek..

That's just Git. The source code is a saturated spagetti of Entity framework and Caliburn. It is littered with antipatterns, especially basebean. Holy Christmas and Easter that baseclass do a lot of stuff that has no place as a base class ..

Fucking frameworks, I'm gonna start to evangelize frameworks as the no1 antipattern.

MS SQL as the main DB, but is dumped to json FILES through a scheduled task to increase read performance on web.

There is a soap endpoint to expose the json files, fml..

I am assuming I was placed here to improve stuff, I have never in my life seen anything like this before.

There is a special place in hell for this repository

I'm done with dumb girls😠 ! seriously I need a geek girl in my life to understand what I talk or what I share .... A dev girl right now would be awesome ..😃

You know you are a geek when you try to shoo away a fly away from the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary...

How computer geek sleeps...

So the teacher made fun of me today stating that knowing what USB stands for is pointless :/ I thought it was just basic knowledge for a geek like me. This statement of my teacher really infuriates me!!!

Before: Programming is like an art...

Becomes a geek.

Now: Art is like Programming

When a programmer cooks

From Datamation magazine circa 1968. Now you can really geek out your friends. This is the kind of stuff you can throw out at a party to kill any discussion.

Linux geek started working at McDonalds. A customer asked him for a Big Mac and he gave him a bit of paper with FF:FF:FF:FF:FF:FF written on it.

"So you are a computer geek right?" Yeah!

"So how do I hack my friend's Facebook profile?"

HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS PEOPLE

I had this situation quite several times. pls

Download details form my pc. Windows is way ahead😁

Tomorrow is my 19th birthday and I'm very excited about it. 😀🎂
Wanted to do something special as a computer geek but wasn't sure.
Hope you can help me !

Thanks 👍

I'm not enjoying my current experience with the web.

I feel sad, alone most of the time.

Let me disclaim first that I don't have like an apocalyptic view of the world, I actually think it's improving (in very broad terms).

I also understand that the web is a complex thing and everyone being happy with is going to be very unlikely, specially as more and more people use it, since the entropy will naturally increase.

I don't have solid evidence of what I'm saying next and I'm not even entirely what exactly I'm saying, but maybe I'm onto something.

I feel that when the internet first started, businessmen were like "meh, geek stuff".

But slowly, things changed, and every greedy person tried to just fucking unload his greed filled cum onto it

And now it feels like 1984. And I hate when people reeeee 1984. But it does feel like it.

The ads are like "ok, I know you like that other shit, but CHECK THIS SHIT OUT".

It's AI driven to maximize profits, with little care for people happiness.

I miss when youtube had related videos. The algorithm wasn't perfect but at least it was exactly that, related videos.

Now though, youtube likes to be smart. But not smart in a way that enriches your youtube experience.
It's smart in a way that maximizes ad revenue.

"what? did you think we were going to use AI to make you happier? that we were going to enrich your youtube experience?
NO MOTHER FUCKER! OF COURSE NOT. We're gonna use it to show you whatever shit that will make us richer faster."

Controls for customizing the recommended videos behaviour? Pff, no.
They're gonna decide for you what it is that you like
They're going to decide what you should be watching.

Everytime i turn on my samsung tv, the youtube app recomends me watching "BETTER THAN SEX EYE LINER". Jesus christ, what the shitcum, I'm the only motherfucker on the house that uses youtube, and I couldn't care less about this cunt's disguised ad video, let alone fucking eye liners.

Why youtube, why do you promote whatever porn video VEVO uploads?

Why do you ruin every youtube rewind?

Why do you pander to the lowest common denominator?

Why can't you be shining beacon, a moral company considering you're a cultural icon?

Fuck you youtube, and while we're at it, fuck you too samsung, I must have been drunk the day I bought this shitty closed source software piece of shit "smart".

And these are just 2 companies. The internet is FILLED with these greedy bastards. They have no passion for their products, for making people happy. They only have passion for the MUNNNEY.

Thanks a lot business schools, thanks a lot CEOs of the world, thanks for making the world a happier place.

Ok, now that I said that, I want to back up a bit.

Youtube may bot be perfect, but it's ad revenue system enables some youtubers I love to be able to make that their careers.

I appreciate that, so maybe youtube isn't that bad... so sorry for saying those horrible things man!

I love it.
I'm a geek, and a nerd,
I love everything that computers,
I love electronics, physics, even mathematics,
I love thinking, solving problems, learning new things.

And programming is all of those combined, I love it with a passion.

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said: "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Hot fixing on the server feel like

Let's see...
It made me anti social. It got me thinking in a very logical way, I can't connect with people.
I'd spend a lot of time (and still do) coding that I didn't make many friends and made me have social anxiety.

Nobody respects what I do or even understand it.

The one girl I would've happily fucking died in the most brutal way for with a smile on my face, wasn't interested at all... I was a geek to her and my lifestyle wasn't compatible with hers.... I wasn't good enough...

I am very self aware of my shortcomings and working towards that... But generally, I'm too fucking late to dating and all that.

Programming put me in a disadvantage in dating and social life.

doNotMessWithITTeamInAFuckingProject();

Last night me with my team have a discussion with my project team. Currently we have a project for our insurance client building a Learning Management System. The project condition already messed up since the first day i join a meeting. Because since its a consortium project with multiple company involved, one of company had a bad experience with another company. It happened few years back when both of company were somehow break up badly because miss communication (i heard this from one of my team).

Skip..skip... And then day to day like another stereotype IT projects when client and business analyst doing requirements gathering, the specs seems unclear and keep changing day by day even when I type this rant I'm sure it will change again.

Then something happened last night when my team leader force our business analyst to re index the use case number (imho) this is no need to be done, and i know the field conditions its so tough for all team members.

So many problems occured, actually this is a boring problem like lack of dev resource, lack of project management and all other stereotype IT projects had. Its sucks why this things is happening again.

Finally my fellow business analyst type a quite long message in our group and said that he maybe quit because its too tired and he felt that the leader only know about push push pushhhhhy fcking pussy, he never go to the client site and look what we've done and what we struggle so far.

I just don't know why, i know this guy earlier was an IT geek also, but when he leading a team he act like he never done IT project before, just know about pushing people without knowing what the context and sound to me like just rage push!

Damnit, i maybe quit also, you know we IT guy never affraid to quit anytime from the messed up condition like this. Even though we were at the bottom level in a project, but we hold the most main key for development.

Hope he (my leader) read this rant. And can realize what happened and fix this broken situation. I don't know what to say again, im in steady mode to quit anytime if something chaos happen nearly in the future.

doNotMessWithITTeamInAFuckingProject();

Any assembly language geek around.....

Caps Lock preventing login since 1980.

A geek is born.

sudocream 😂

This will definitely trigger some people.

New smartphone releases aren't 'tech news'.
An implementation of a technology ripped off from other devices (GPS, VR etc..) isn't 'tech news', it's just implementation of an existing technology.

So please, everyone who reads the self-called 'tech news' to look for a new phone release to waste money on - stop calling yourself a 'tech geek' - "Oh my god, I'm such a tech geek, it's embarrassing - this new iPhone was released and I just couldn't wait to get spend my money on it".

Just shut the fuck up - you are willingly dragging a tracking device everywhere you go and you are PAYING for it to look cool and be full of features you won't even fucking use.

Someone once called me a hardware geek.

Uuuups.
Hot-pluged another cpu yesterday.
😎 Third one in total.

Didn't notice that the board turned on and it ran for like 5min without a cooler.😨

Poor 130W tdp Xeon.

Still runs fine in my workstation
😂

Can code awesomeness for my clients.
Can drive traffic to almost any website.
Can turn half-baked ideas into money for clients.
Have absolutely no game at all with the opposite sex.

Sometimes the tradeoff of being a geek sucks.

Finished our Christmas tree at work today. Featuring Zip ties, faulty burned blu rays, an old keyboard, a led stripe, cut IDE Cables and a 10m cat 5e cable and the holy Debian as topping
Sadly I cant capture all of its beauty in a single picture
I call him the GeekTree

haha women and technology

Me: I am ready to marry my soulmate.

Everyone: Who's the luck girl?

Me: My laptop.

Everyone: 😳(speechless)

Ps: should i try it on april fool?

SysAdmin 101

I just crossed a new level of being geek i guess

Things I love of being a dev:

I downloaded a big list of .mp3's. The server gave them weird UUID's, but it kept their proper title on the metadata. I wanted to change the names to their proper title, and I could've done it by hand, but I decided to write a little script to do it. Well, I'm not a scripting geek, so I had to dive into how to get the metadata and format strings etc, the basics of PS. I'm pretty sure I wasted more time there than I would have just doing it by hand... but hey at least I learned something new! On my track to becoming a full-stack developer!

Anything to not do something so numbingly repetitive and uninspiring as that

When Team Lead of Design (HTML) department wins PROGRAMMER OF THE YEAR award annual award of your organization :|

And Sr Tester wins GEEK OF THE YEAR :|

No personal vendetta but what the fuck :/

What do you think of my notebook?📕📕📕

At the moment I geek out to picking pad locks and growing anything from seeds.

I have grow an english oak, its about 10-15 cm tall.
A maple from a seed I found in a park in Barcelona last year.
And all sorts of chilis🔥

As we're all going about our various Easter, Passover, et al., family celebrations, I have the perfect solution to help train your families to stop asking you for help with mundane computer stuff:
Every time someone asks you to do/fix something, give them a full talk about what is going on in their computer around that system.
Don't forget you can talk about lots of things too:
- concurrency
- TCP IP / socket networking
- multi-threaded programs vs. single threads
- RISC vs. CISC processors
- Why linux is better than Windows or Mac
- algorithms
- logarithmic runtime
- teach them how to convert between hex, binary, and base ten
Really pour it on too. Soon they'll either figure out that you are a highly-skilled individual who is not their personal geek squad, or they'll be too afraid of a big lecture to ask for help.
Works with my in-laws like a charm.

The only time I feel like a true programmer is when I geek out in C++

So yeah...

For more than 20 years Google and Mozilla becoming our lifeline ❤️thank you @google @mozilla
@firefox

I started programming 2 years ago. I didn't know what to do with my life after high school, so I went to an event where you can meet students. I ran across the IT schools section, wearing a GEEK sweater, and almost immediatly, 5 students were right in front of me to talk about their school.
One hour later, I said "yeah why not", even if I didn't know ANYTHING about programming.
One or two weeks later, I took the entrance exam, and one month later I knew that I passed.
I learnt the bases when I entered in Sept. 2014

I am curious to know， where people get their tech news from?

I use:

- TopGitHub app to check the github trends (star growth in days，weeks or months)
- Geek app， which has 1 to 2 articles every 2 days on random tech， hacking stuff.
- Security app， which aggregates news from various tech sources.

I mostly get my news from apps right now as its an easy go when i am on the loo (like right now ;))

Any chance we can do a polling system?

@dfox

I studied anthropology and ive been in this community for almost 2 years. Have discovered the coding landscape at pretty much the same time and i must say its an interesting bunch of people.

I came on here to learn about the geek way and how to become a better dev. Seeing the rants has been really helpful!

But i think the polling system could lead to interesting understanding. Of the community both for your own app (for marketing bullshit purposes) but also for us.

Id love to know what kind of music people listen to but in a summarized way rather than a unending list of comments which will be harder to extract the information from!

How to have girlfriend if you're a geeky type of person?

geek fun fact!

Did you know? Swiping down requires more calories than scrolling down on your mouse!

Just found out a new experience.
Wireing arduino on the road.

I had to </> 🤓🤓🤓

When the poet in me fuses with the geek in me:

Will you be the css to my html?

When I encountered you,
My system threw a fatal error
My RAM was overloaded,
And my CPU went haywire

Will you be the css to my html?

I would show you my source code,
And let you merge your branch into mine
I will help you fix your memory leaks
And I will try filling all your nullpointers

Will you be the css to my html?

Your frontend would perfectly plug into my backend
I can compile all your heavy code,
Just in time

Baby just promise me,
You'll provide the JSON
To my API calls

Will you be the css to my html?

This is my first draft... Constructive criticism is welcome!

The good code.

!rant

Our implementation director got bored since yesterday. So, I decided to let him barge in with my colleague and let him manipulate the audio speakers. Things got funny and asked me to code properly so he can take a shot and send it to his friends. What I did, I copied and paste the code and saved as .bat to make the console looked like the matrix while coding. 😂😂

Wife clearly knows I’m a geek with this new mascot!

On your standard epitome of being a geek, I started to show my coworkers how to play Cardfight Vanguard, a TCG since we all love TCG's (we play Magic, Pokemon and a few others) and we had made Friday our official "TCG or Board Game" day.

List of games we have played:
Star Wars CCG (dear lord this game is BEAUTIFUL shame it is no longer being published)

Magic the Gathering, we have a love hate relationship with this game, mana plays a big reason as to why we do not fully love it, it sucks getting stuck with no possibility of drawing proper mana.

Pokemon - Easy to get into, easy to play, there is nt much more to say, by far, our favorite in terms of how much money we can make out of selling rare cards that we do not use.

Dice Masters - My Personal favorite, and I am also the undisputed champion of our group

Cardfight Vanguard is my current favorite, very tactical in a lot of ways, luck of the draw hits in a funny way, I feel it is properly balanced, not much bullshit ass rules or mana issues. Reminds me of Duel Masters, I used to LOVE that Game, but Wizards of the Coast and the anime fucked it up so well....

Anyone here likes playing card games?

Features of any software product development: there is a catastrophic lack of time to get rid of bugs, but always enough time to make them even more. 🤦‍♂️

My friends have a group on telegram named geek squad but they haven't add me cause apparently I'm not geek enough:/
It hurt my feelings:/
But screw them I'll be a geek on my own time.

Its 6:57 AM here and I am still awake !! Anyone here today with me ? :D
Good Morning everyone BTW !

all of them. countless wasted hours.

as fate decided to turn me from $random-dev-geek into "the guy that calls the shots in tech", one of my earliest decisions was to automate formatting.

everywhere, automated at CI.

gofmt was an inspiration for the industry.
js?/ts? use prettier
C++? use ClangFormat
etc.

always default settings.
enforced by pre-commit hooks and CI.

never a single argument about bracket style, I don't care if someone likes single or double quotes better.

"fucks given" counter is fixed at 0.
everybody prefers it (ok, sometimes after a while sometimes)

of course there is still some more conventions to do for us humans.
IMHO the most critical ones.

like naming or even casing (camel, snake, kebab, - which one works where), but taking out most of the "so what" decisions takes discussions to a much more resonable level.

It's almost midnight here and I just realized something. I just realized that none of my college friends have contacted me in almost a year now... Like none of them. They hang out every weekend near the college I cannot coz im working and it has never occurred to them that "hey there's this guy that we we were together for four years with , I wonder what he's doing how's he holding up" and I wasn't even an asshole or a douchebag or something I guess I just vaporizer from their memories like a volatile liquid.

I also feel like my boss gives me nearly impossible tasks so that I fail like "design these two complete web applications in three months while you do your actual job of teaching people java for 8 hrs a day"
And now here I am at midnight sitting curled up in the corner of my bed like a paranoid chipmunk that drank a pot full of dark coffee, trying to talk to this random bunch of people from random places in the world who are doing random shit right now. And the worst part is I chose this ... I wanted this I wanted to make a difference. I didn't want to be just a cog in a machine.

If I die right now how many people would cry? I ask myself that a lot it's never more than ten. This is probably creeping u out right now so I'll probably end this.
Rest assured six hrs from now I will put my mask back on. a mask of a happy, mildly funny, averagely successfully geek, until my next date with sadness

We are hilarious 😋

!rant

Now and then, my friends and I have a #FirstWorldGeekProblems.

Such as, left my good earphones at home, making do with a cheap £1 pair.

What's your FirstWorldGeekProblems?

I once failed a subject during my masters (complex analytics and measure theory).
Next year I decided to give it everything I've got. I had grown to love it and could solve most problems they threw at me. Hand written an 80 pages long "book" distilled from all the notes, proofs and visualisations from all the lectures that year.

I only exerted this effort (even though I could've just "passed" this subject) because the lecturer was so damn enthusiastic about maths. Even though he wasn't a CS teacher this course was my best experience of a teacher at uni. He loved the beauty of the maths he was teaching and managed to make me love it too.

He was a maths geek and when I aced my final he told me he actually writes code too. He showed me some simulations he wrote while he worked on some theoretical nuclear physics stuff, because that's what he was into. Really cool guy. I wish more CS lecturers were as good teachers.

People come to me they ask:
How to hack !!!.
I tell myself what the hack

What is a hackers favorite kind of pi?

Life of a geek

I'm out of high school now but one of my 'fondest' memories of being known as the computer geek was that people would always ask me how they could use the inspect element tool to change their grade permanently. I never had the patience to explain lmao

Nerd or Geek ?

My sister: "I didn't know that you were so fluent in geek"

I aim to please!

I don't wanna ask (insert search engine of your choice) but devRant today:

How would you define a
- nerd
- geek
etc
Is it an insult or status to be proud of?

Well 😀

When you date a python geek

Programming consists of 10% rigorous science, 20% ingenuity and inspiration, and 70% trying to combine the former with the latter. 👩‍🏫

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to maintain it all your life 👨🍼

Let me tell you a joke: !false

Just saw an accident and 1 of the vehicles is a Geek Squad van. Someone's PC is not getting connected today.

I really enjoy programming but I don't care about having the latest smartphone or the more powerfull computer. I'm not a tech guy, not even a geek... Sometimes people don't understand me for that, am I the only one ?

The geek shall inherit the earth.

Years ago I was working in local cinema as a student job from time to time and used to sleep after shifts at my uncle's. Uncle did not had internet but there were so many wlans all around. Since I had nothing to do for hours after shift, I downloaded Backtrack linux at home, made live dvd of it and saved a two articles of "how to hack wifi" to text files.

It took me 4 hours to break WEP, since I was total lame, and it was the only one WEP around. They also had mac restrictions set to router, so I changed my mac address to one of their devices, logged in to router and added our mac address. For my uncle it was complete magic but since he is total geek to linux he liked it.

Fast forward weeks later. When I came to my uncle's house he was downloading like ton of linux distributions. Literally each one. Gigabytes of data. I told him not to do so because sooner or later neighbour will notice, but he did not care. Guess what, he notices, probably slow internet and (maybe) bigger bills, I do not know, but owner just changed protocol to WPA2, not changing password. So the story continued for almost 2 years. Felt a bit sorry for neighbour but did not expect such an outcome. I just wanted to watch youtube videos and scroll social networks, keeping low profile so no one notice.

school internship grade 9

parents of a girl in my class run a business

they asked do they can get the computer geek

Is it only me, or is reducing production code size by #ifdef'ing sh*t out sexy as F?

Who has geek/nerd friend. I never had but want to have at least one ...

Never date a geek!

Fantasy and Sci-Fi,
Math and theoretical CS,
Graffiti (this one is just a sketch tho),
Wandering around (for long time and distances),
Bike riding (before someone steal it),
Sky watching (with naked eye)
and I have other not-so-popular habits that I have, but I don't know if they are considered geek.

I was wondering !
As a computer geek I would like to know everything from mathematics to programming , robotics and machine learning but as I go , new technologies appear and it's
just like an endless while loop!
I don't mean I wanna stop learning new things but just looking for a more effitient way for doing this!

Any idea about this?

#Programmer

When I was a kid I wanted to be a carpenter like my dad, my parents reaction was always "just keep studying and you can do whatever you want, if you wanna study then do it and don't care about anything else we will help you".

Growing up I became a bit of a geek by hanging out with my uncles (they were the pc gurus in the old days, not anymore hehe). When choosing a college major I knew I wanted it in some kind of engineering, but had no idea besides that, I ended up choosing CS somewhat random and loved the thrill of solving problems so I stuck with it. During it all my parents only really said "as long as you study so you can have what we couldn't give you and do something you like, we will support you!"
I love my parents! 😄

Side note: I think my parents love to be able to brag about my accomplishments, kind of feels like they are entitled to though, since pretty much everything is thanks to them!

Dear friends,

New to dev's world... Need your support to sustain...In it.. 😀
Love to be a part of this ... Geek mythology...

Abbr dev's:: devil's 😘

Am I the only one who doesn't really see feel or need as an insult? Geek means someone who "messed around" with tech and need is someone who is smart. Why do people get offended by it? I mean, I get that people mean it offensively but is it really something to get that upset about? If someone was to call me a geek or need. Imma walk with my head high and own it.

TWO QUESTIONS...

1. Do you consider yourself a...
A) Geek
B) Nerd

2. Any why?

Thought I'd see what all you guys from across the pond are raving on about with Silicon Valley. It's not a tv show that anyone I know, including my dev colleagues, talk about. Suffice to say I'll definitely be recommending it to every geek I know.

In addition to my first Homeoffice photo, another part of my office: the Geek corner. The Android plate can glow in 6 different colors. It's a selfmade present from a friend of mine. :)

- How To geek

TLDR; After my dad was lazy, I assembled the parts myself.

As far back as I can remember, if I think of my father he is sitting behind his pc playing games. It was like me, his escape.

When I was between 3-5 years old he upgraded his pc to one that supported windows 95. The most exciting thing I remember about his new pc is that it had a sound card or what passed as one anyway - think polyphonic ring tones in place of onboard beeps. It was fucking awesome.

He gifted his old 386 to my brother and I which we spent a blissful year or so playing DOS games on until it finally died. I wouldn't have access to a home computer again until I was 11 - touching my fathers computer was out of the question, never mind actually using it.

The reason I didn't have access to a pc was simply because he didn't replace his pc - he made minor upgrades to it until he died with a whopping 512mb of RAM. Seriously his pc specs were a bragging factor like geek porn - better than any else's I ever saw including his I.T friends (he was an electrical engineer), everyone knew this apparently aside from his boss...

Auto-cad started becoming a thing and my father for the first time ever had a reason to actually do work on a computer, he immediately used the opportunity to leverage his company into paying for a pc. To get better "value" for the company he ordered the parts in place of a pre-built machine - in reality he blew 90% of the budget on a new motherboard and graphics card to upgrade his own pc and the cheapest entry level components for everything else. The day they arrived he upgraded his own pc, threw the excess parts into a box and told us it was our new computer which he would put together over the weekend. He didn't.

After 3 months of nagging I was fed up and taking liberties with him that landed me more than one hiding, at some point he was over it and told me if I wanted something that badly I should do it myself. He walked into my room after becoming concerned if I had run away/hurt myself since he hadn't heard a whistle from me in 6 hours and I was battling my ass off trying to install windows 98.

He inspected my assembly gave me an approving nod and showed me that the hard drives physical jumper was set to slave and the rest is history. I hadn't used windows before, or built a computer let alone used one in years but somehow I always knew, it just clicked and made sense to me.

I didn't truly recognise just how much I had learn't watching him play DOS games over his shoulder and clean/upgrade his pc. It changed everything and thanks to only being allowed to watch him use a pc, once I finally had access to my own computer again I revered it and all it's possibilities. I knew I should use it to do something special.

Windows XP was just right. A perfect balance of performance and functionality.

Everything less complex feels too impractical, everything more complex feels too uncontrollable.

When using XP, I was confident I could get the job done, yet I knew what every process in the task manager did. It’s not the case with 7, let alone 10/11. I don’t know what happens under the hood there at all. Maybe custom Linux distros qualify too, but they’re unapproachable by laypeople. You have to be a geek to use them effectively.

Windows XP struck just the right balance between functionality, simplicity and compatibility. Too bad the era is gone in favor of opaque surveillance.

I have fucking HATED Windows 10 from day one. Now I'm hearing there are new vacillations of this genius programming train wreck that I think is designed to force monetize Microsoft's business model.
After a short while I managed to get to a point where I can maintain W 7. In fact, I'm using my old computer right now. Because I could not get this rant to load onto Devrant website. If you are reading this we know that it is because 10 sucks consistently.
I save my files onto a backup hard drive so I can find 'paper file' type solution for whatever random crap might block me at the keyboard. In fact, I still use paper and file cabinets so "technology" doesn't bring me to a screeching halt every time something like "no record of that account" or "wrong password".
Why the hell does my PASSWORD work from W7 but not from W10?! And it's getting WORSE by the day! I'm about to take a fucking hammer to my new fucking computer. And to that guy who smarmy says something to the effect of 'don't be such a pussy... just fix it and you will be happy.' Well. Fuck you too!
Now. That being said. Anybody have a suggestion on what to try next? And don't say something like, 'take your computer to Micro Center or Geek Squad'. I've done those guys twice each. And for a small phenomenal fee they have each time made things slightly worse plus lost parts of my saved data each time.
Oh. And "reset to previous" doesn't work either.
Suggestions?
Probably better at this point to attempt to solve my own problems wrong for free at this point. Maybe I'll learn to program in Linux or some such thing.
Forrest
for suggestions please contact me at
res0naza@yahoo

Proper rant tonight... I was getting an upgrade to my home entertainment today. It needed an engineer visit. What a useless clown he turned out to be.

2 hrs after arriving, he left and things weren't working remotely right at all. But it was Saturday and he was off the clock so I had to suck it up. No option to back out either - it was all activated and I had to accept it.

He spent most of the time arguing with me about my home network was set up and how it was wrong and how it was important for the overall system to work. Being a geek and having done research, I couldn't understand this - that wasn't how it was meant to be, I knew. I accept my home wiring is a bit odd, but I've had a working system for years because it's all necessary.

After all the faffing about and purchase of some new powerline units (which I accept I needed anyway but where unrelated to this set up), looking more into it myself, it is now up and running correctly.

I am thoroughly pissed at the ineptitude of the engineer. He clearly doesn't understand how the system works. He doesn't understand how powerline works and how it's a life saver for people with awkwardly shaped houses or thick walls where Wi-Fi is useless. If he had, we would have had far fewer issues and I wouldn't have had the stress of thinking I'd killed our home entertainment and internet and there was nothing I could do about it.

I don't blame the provider (besides them clearly not providing adequate training). But this was arrogant uselessness. At least I had the knowledge to understand how it was meant to work and get it sorted myself.

Maybe it could be a useful sideline job if I get fed up with developing.

With what subject you shouldn't send job offers to software developers :
"A unique and exciting opportunity for a genuine GEEK!!"

Geek chat up line:

conversation := Conversation new

Well that's the Smalltalk out of the way ...

Of course im mature...

... a mature geek

"scripts": {
"byThePowerOfGraph!": "nodemon server.js"
}

We got drunk with the most geek friends, and now the subject is based on the pigeonhole principle, one of us drank at least one extra bottle :/
(this is the first time I've ever seen this principle being used properly 😂)

What just happened?
I had my annual review meeting with my bosses and everything was going well and I was doing a great job and I was working so independently and they were happy I used my training budget efficiently, great attendance and I have good standing at the customer, although I'm the only representative there. BUT... BUT... BUT... there will be no chance of a raise this year, because the company is not doing quite well currently (OK, I can understand that part) and also because I didn't do anything for business development, didn't bring new projects or anything.
I'm a developer, your typical slightly introverted geek. I'm not doing sales. That's not my job. That's not me. That's a part of why I'm not a contractor. I had this before in another job, and those expectations which seem to always only come out during those evaluations, were part of the reason why I left.
Fuck this for putting me in this situation again.
I'm really wanting to start looking for an in-house job at some production company again. Do these jobs still exist? Those consulting companies seem to expect things from me I can't and won't deliver.

Wanna get my geek on with the Perseids tonight, have a new wide angle lens to try out, and the bastard clouds are everywhere! 😭

Valentines day at work

I keep being called a "melt" by my mates, cause I say odd things .. cause huge geek 😅 or I'm just odd

Aren't most things better when they melt ... Melted cheese? ... Oh ice cream ... 😐 That's not better 🙄 ok.

Sorry I do use devrant to get things off my mind to total strangers

Had a job when nobody believed I was able to program because the way I dressed was apparently not "geek enough"..

So if I'm a developer I should follow up the stereotype?

"so what's the difference? there are groups and communities for devs, why devRant ?" It was my colleague's question and I was about to loose the debate between this and other social n/w.
I said "look man the greatest thing is you can build a DP that looks like a geek programmer, whatever you look like in real time doesn't even matter."
And he said "Let me see your profile."

I remember the day when I mistakenly hit :
# rm -rf /
instead of :
# rm -rf ./
The . changed my day that day. Thank god that the files and configs in the server had a backup in my PC. :P

So I had a discussion now with my mom about my work and it turned into a rant. But I came to this conclusion:

My most effective way to screen candidates for a backend/fullstack tech job would be to ask them what are the most influential programming books they have read and why.

If they don't mention any books (or points covered in these books) in this list, they immediately fail:
-the effective engineer
-clean coder
-code complete
-team geek
-the Phoenix project

*phases of learning to program*

Phase 1:
Yeah its so easy i love programming i'm gonna be a top programmer.

Phase 2:
Uuuhg.. programming sucks,i think i'm not meant for it,should i give up do something else maybe...

#programming #100DaysOfCode #mumbai #love #indian #gujarati #vadodarabarodacity #instagram #vadodaradiary #msubaroda #aapduvadodara #vadodaranews #vadodarawomen #officialvadodara #vadodaracity #barodarocks #barodagoogle #vadodarafashion #vadodara_lover #barodadiaries #barodamirror #india #vadodarabaroda #geek #developerslife #webdev #php #design #css #java #developers #html #softwarehouse #softwares #softwaredevelopment #technology #coderlife #designer #softwareengineer #webdesigner #codingisfun #programmerproblems #programmerjokes #programmerlifestyle #programmergirl #webdevelopment #developerlife #devlife #webdesign #programmersday #softwareengineering #programmering #programmerhumor #development #dev #programmerlife #programmer #developer #vadodara #coding #software #baroda #programming #vadodaradiaries #vadodara_baroda #coder #webdeveloper #gujarat #programmerslife #javascript #vadodara_igers #codinglife #barodacity #code #vadodarablogger #programmers #softwaredeveloper #ourvadodara #goals #beyourself #happy #smile #lifeisgood #socialmedia #success #friday

Lost my temper at one of our volunteer moderators the other day. We had to do a test using live data, our sysadmin warned him, but not far enough in advance and not really by the right channels. So that was on us. sorry not sorry. But so then he didn't believe us. He must be a geek too cuz he responded with some stupid math problem for me to solve, as if that would prove we work here and aren't hackers or scammers. I replied "how about if i just kick you out of your own group and delete your account, would that convince you?" And so I did. Asshole. Of course I had to apologize later and get a lecture from the boss, but it was kinda worth it.