Fake bug fix

My gf tried to charge the pendrive, coz the pc said device not recognized.
How they do this ???

Happy Diwali to everyone from India!

Just because you're special doesn't mean that you are useful!!

An increment A day, keeps the bugs at bay :3

Colleagues asking me to write clean code be like...

Me: 1 is something, 0 is nothing, NULL is the absence of things
JuniorDev: wut
Me: You've got pizza in a box, that's 1. If there's no pizza in the box, that's 0. If there's no pizza and no box, that's NULL.
JuniorDev: OOH so there's no object to reference if I ask for a slice!
Me: *small tear*

Always explain things in terms of pizza. Always.

W...w...wha...whaaat?!

Real Story:

Manager: You have to add an extra section in the app to show more details.

Me: We are already showing so many unnecessary details. These changes are not required.

Manager: No !! You have to do it.

Me : Ok !!! So why can't we show it in the section where we are showing the other details. Why make a separate section for it.

Manager : No !! It won't be clearly visible to the user. Just do it.

So I added another section to show useless information that we are already showing it f**king everywhere else in the app.

So I released a new apk next day with the added features.

In meeting, our CTO goes through the app and ask manager....

" Why we have added an extra section for showing same details that we are showing everywhere else ???

Who approved this ?? This is nonsense !!! "

Here comes the fun part.

Manager : I don't know. I didn't ask for it. These changes were not there earlier.

And ask me.

"Who told you to make these changes ? "

I am like... F***k man you a***ole told me to do it even when i told you it will be nonsense.

Looking back at the code you wrote in your first year of programming

By day, I'm a developer.

At night, I'm a father of two awesome kids and a husband to a fantastic wife.

Stop fucking asking me to work after hours! Just because you sacrifice your life to the office doesn't mean we all do.

When the internet breaks down, us web devs don't know what to do. 😂 Yay for early lunch!

When your client has BrowserStack 😫

School time, programming class:
Girl: Hey, Can you help me?
Me: Sure, what's up?
G: I have an error but I don't know why
M: *looks at error stack trace* You're missing a semicolon in line 133 *puts comma, run... 27 more errors* Well, you have more issues up there, why don't you try to fix them?
G: Oh, Ok, thanks
-- 1 hour later --
G: Hey, can you come? I already fixed the other issues but I still have one I can't fix
M: *checks code, same mistake I fixed, missing semicolon, same line* Why did you erase the semicolon?
G: Oh, because if I erase it, I only have 1 error, but if I leave it, I have 27 so....
M: *turn around, walk away*

Wish I Had One.. (っ◕‿◕)っ

god have mercy on my co-workers :P

And that was enough encouragement

so true

Best story ever

This really happened to me yesterday at work.

Me: *walks into office*
Coworker: Hey Will, I got a question for you
Me: I...[read more]

customer: make it black
me: if i make it black, text will be unreadable, also it doesnt fit with theme
customer: i dont care make it back
me: -makes it-
customer: it didnt fit with theme, revert it back

p2p working with people outside tech industry

So true

Roles and responsibilities!!!

ruthless executor I want a job not to attack a country. 😂😁

Too common. :D

How you know you're having a bad week:

Lot of Crashes, alpha release.

*Wild PM appears*

Summons team and Quotes, "Is there a way we can avoid crashes before it happens in code??"

Moved from A 10-day sprint to a 10-hour sprint.

Thank god we don't have hourly stand-ups.

So lucky to have a date again tonight..

it's an Adobe Up-date.

.__.)'

Takes 5 days leave from work.

Still codes at home.

#Me

2 mins of silence for all those rants you composed, yet you chose to not post it.