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Spend half an hour finding music to listen to while I code; Pause it after 30 seconds to concentrate on refactoring. Stays paused for rest of day.
Really getting the most out of those expensive new headphones.35 -
1. Have some issue with my code which spits out cryptic compiler error.
2. Ask on stack overflow, Reddit, etc for a solution.
3. Get scolded at for "not reading the documentation" and "asking questions which could be answered by just Googling". Still no clue what I'm doing wrong, or what the solution would be.
4. Find someone else's vaguely related problem.
5. Post my problematic code as the answer, with arrogant comment about OP being a retard for not figuring that out for themselves.
6. A dozen angry toxic nerds flock in to tell me how retarded and wrong I am, correcting me... solving my original problem.
7. Evil plan succeeded, my code compiles, and as a bonus I made the internet a worse place in the process.
I think if you tell a bunch of autistic neckbeards that "all coronaviruses are fundamentally incurable", you'd have a vaccine within a week.15 -
So we are a bunch of nerds huh? Without any social life? or friends?
You motherfucker, if it wasn't for the community that developers have built, you would still be living in stone age. Seriously, the way we share our hard work with each other, spending hundreds of hours on a library and making them open source on the internet, I don't think any other community out there does it so selflessly.
So next time you're calling me boring, you can take a big piece of shit and put it up in your arse.12 -
programming languages are not designed to talk to computers, they are designed to be readable by other programmers.
please code like it.7 -
devRant, the only positive and supportive online community for programmers.
until you mention an OS.
then all bets are off.16 -
Dear nerds from all over the world,
We get it. 404 pics are funny.
But did you know there other status codes too?
Like...
204 - No Response
301 - Moved
302 - Found
400 - Bad request
401 - Unauthorized
402 - Payment Required
403 - Forbidden
501 - Not Implemented
502 - Service Temporarily Overloaded
I'm sure you'll also find funny situations with these.
Thanks. We're the best!26 -
terms can only be use in programming: -
Where friends have access to your private parts,
Where Parents may kill their child if required,
Where Bugs come in from open windows,
Where one image is worth 128K words,
Where 10 == 2,
Where Zombies are common and not dangerous *,
Where Daemons are always there somewhere
Where the slimmest of USB drives are considered FAT *,
Where comments are made and arguments are passed, **
Where forever alone nerds can also unzip, touch, mount and fsck ***,
Where root is top of the tree,
Where x = x + y is totally correct,
Where opening a jar requires Java,
Where Oct 31 = Dec 25,
Thanks to ASHISH KEDIA for writing these.
Source :- Quora4 -
dad: what the hell do you do again?
me 1st time asked: I'm a back end web developer, i write the code you don't see that makes things you do see work.
me 90,000th time: internet stuff.
me 83,881,178th time: computers!4 -
People's expression when I explain them devRant:
"..so, it's a social media for the nerdy antisocials"7 -
Flirting! Life as a programmer has me irrationally attracted to nerds. A recent flirty exchange included something like this - "I'll build your environment, baby. I will build it with the finest, artisanally-crafted shell scripts so it can built and rebuilt over and over again.."
My friends think it's weird that all my crushes are neither good looking nor social. I don't think they'd ever understand.10 -
relationship with dev perks (just happened):
GF : *bad mood* i'm hungry
Me : Let's go get some food ! *trying to cheer her up*
GF : No.
Me : Ok, whatever you say.
GF : Do you really wa--
Me : Whaat? you said "No"?
GF : Don't you see abstraction in my face?
Me : so what ? you want me to Implement it?
GF : NO. PUT IT IN YOUR GODDAMN MAIN FUNCTION.
Me : ok let's go *still don't understand what she meant*
GF : Good Job.68 -
When you get a day off and you want to work on a personal project, but your spouse has other plans.
8 -
Got some swag in the mail today.
I was told I could get a refund for the hat if it was too small. I literally have the biggest head in the world and it fits me fine.
For those who complained, did you try taking it off and on again?
6 -
My ISP advertises themselves as IT-nerds. I once contacted the support, not tech support, just the usual support. I wanted to use my own router instead of theirs, and the supporter actually knew how I should configure my vlan and a lot of other technical stuff.
Why aren’t all ISP’s like mine?8 -
interviewer: What can you tell us about the Unity 3D engine?
me: well, i can tell you that there is no such thing. the engine is called Unity. Unity3d.com is just the website. it's a good way of telling if someone doesn't know what they are talking about.
interviewer:😐....9 -
devRant is a place to rant. Not a journal of best practices.
Can I just rant without giving a long winded backstory?
Do I have to explain myself to prevent people from commenting that the problem must be me?
If you read a rant, and you can't relate to it sympathetically.
Move along! That rant is not for you!
When people are trying to vent no one wants to see your snippy little comment about how 'unprofessional' they are being.8 -
client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.
me: ok, how is it wrong?
client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.
me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.
client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.
me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?
clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.
repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.
client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?
me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.3 -
Pair programing on project with friend.
We both feel like the other person is doing all the work and we are not really helping.
Twice the developer power, twice the imposter syndrome.1 -
Got a new deck of cool cards for me, my brother and a friends for their birthdays 😁
Thanks for your rant @BambuSource long time ago!
Here is the link:
https://varianto25.com/playing-card...
PS: Look at my cool Yu-Gi-Oh!-Desk 😜
11 -
see you in hell mac mini, the raspberry pi is taking your place connected to the tv.
when $25 of Linux out performs $300 of apple.3 -
🤠:Hello, I need a website for my professional website. But anything more than $500 is unrealistic.
Translation
🤡:I am a stupid assclown that the future will leave behind and time will forget.22 -
With the other members of the team refusing to learn git and making changes directly to the staging server i get to write the commit messages for everyone.
Log:
UPDATE: *informative details *
UPDATE: mark made some changes
UPDATE: colin made the same changes as mark but different
UPDATE: andrew undid all colins updates to change one link and I had to add them back in, thank gawd I commit the night before
BUGFIX: andrew keeps changing the database host to localhost and uploading it without changing it back
UPDATE: we all hate andrew15 -
Lol just found the world of Warcraft soundtrack at spotify...
On my way to work, feeling like walking through the gates of Stormwind...
Where my nerds at?! (Huh)?26 -
In the project management system we use with our clients I see file named, 'instructions for backup.'
I open the file and all it contains is my name and phone number.😑4 -
I sometimes look at the code of the guy who had my job before me and I think.
Delete it.
Delete it all.
Delete it with fire.
Use the developer as kindling so it never happens again.9 -
Hey devRant. What the fuck is up?
I'm new and just wanted to say hi or whatever. I don't even work in any computer science related job. I'm a fucking welder.
I have aspirations one day to be just like you nerds. I fall asleep at my desk almost every night taking random online programming classes which I lose interest halfway through to some OTHER class and redo the same shit.
Is this what it's like to be smart?36 -
I have a lifetime membership to Lumosity. Not just do they know my time of death, but with auto renewal turned on I have confirmation of reincarnation. At least once, then existence is null.
2 -
Whats so nice about devrant is that you see more or less the same people from time to time everywhere.
In comments, notifications, rants, all that.
It's like a party full of nerds like you where it's actually fun to get to know people.:D12 -
"doEs AnYOnE HAVE IssUeS wiTh gETTing gIrl beCoz CodIng"
lmao what a fucking dweeb. What a loser really. How about we don't make a fucking job something akin to a personality trait?
were I single, would I sell myself as a "cODER" to a girl? fuck no, do some of you nerds really introduce yourself in such way? is this bs ass job your end all be all? aye, this be the easiest way to poise yourself in the complete opposite direction of the female sexual organ.
Fucking quit that shit, ain't no one really gasping for air because you can lay down some fucking js in a website, who gives a fuck? like really? these posts are so fucking annoying.
Grow a pair, and some personality.
Background: some dweeb complaining to me about finding it hard to get girls because of his "passion" station women would lose interest because all he would talk about is dev shit46 -
Purchase $900 laptop, it's not powerful enough so I return it and get $1,100 laptop, still not powerful enough, return it and get $1,600 laptop. Realize I have a gaming PC and don't need the laptop this powerful and I return it and repurchase the first laptop I bought with a $100 discount because it's now an opened-box, but I know for a fact that it was the one that I got in the first place and opened.
Thanks Best Buy.3 -
Coffee and wine are my life coaches.
Start of day
☕coffee: GO GET THEM TIGER!
End of day
🍷Wine: you'll get them tomorrow.1 -
When you have to spend two days inventing math formulas for work because google won't tell you how to sort every possible combination of an array of arrays into a zero based number list, or how to get a combination from just it's index.
12 -
Okay, I love programming - making my code better faster more readable^^ but I am not a nerd, I have no idea what's going on in star wars or star trek, I do not fucking care about Game of Thrones - I prefer to go out in some clubs and so... I hate it when people are so fucking surprised about my job and interests.
There are programmers who are not nerds live with it!21 -
Boss: I don't want you spending more than 30 min looking into the problem.
Me: ok
Go back to desk and read or watch some cs training. Maybe related.
Go back to boss.
Me: going to take (over estimate tome) to fix.
Boss: ok.
Go back to desk and fix in less time than estimated.
Look like gold.3 -
accedently used chmod on chmod so i no longer had permissions to chmod.
thank goodness for remote server images.5 -
Been off work for the last 2 weeks, got a text yesterday and apparently everything was manic. Kind of nice to know everything falls apart when I'm not there ;)3
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Friday: Finally the week end. I haven't seen my family all week.
Sunday: Hurry up Monday! Get me away from these people. I need to program.1 -
Good news everyone!
unset ($marriage);
If (isset ($marriage))
self::sadness ();
else
Self::joy ();13 -
Internet stopped working yesterday and the ISP company told me they couldn't send a person for a week!
I'm stuck at home, I have to have internet.
Long story short, I got no sleep last night and I may have voided my routers warranty, but I got internet.8 -
me: do we need to setup the shop to charge a flat shipping rate, or charge per item?
🕛3 hours later.
client: yes, that is correct.
me: 😧2 -
Some people think that in the software industry there is no communication and everyone is glued to their screens doing their work. It really fucking pisses me off.
- We write documentation around our code more than actual code so that we can communicate with other developers better.
- We use version control and pull requests to make sure our work is at the required level and it is approved.
- We invented UML to communicate our technical understanding to less technical people.
- We sometimes have more client meetings than doctors have patients. In which we have deal with clients worse than patients.
- We conduct keynotes and conferences and hackathons to bring together communities.
These are just a few things from the top of my head so next time you think of saying that the IT or software professionals don't have "much" communication you better fucking educate yourself as to what the profession actually is.3 -
Go to Denver with a friend for an Iron Maiden concert. I try edibles for the first time, which of course means take way too much. Hallucinate that lead singer is an arm flailing inflatable tube Man. I have a pretty good time. Walk back to the motel at midnight and have to launch a client's website from stage to production on the slow Motel Wi-Fi. I'm ready to pass out at this point, but I got my laptop, and I got my VPN running. So I spend the next 6 hours moving the site from one server to another while occasionally passing out for 20 to 30 minutes at a time.
One of the best road trips of my life. Five stars would do again.2 -
It's not a bug if a feature is working how you told me it should work but not how you wanted it to work.6
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i love programming, but have done too many 12 hour days recently.
spent last two days recharging by doing nothing but play the new Doom game.
i have a great job so my boss supports me.5 -
Let’s make an app like LinkedIn except for tech nerds who wanna date. We shall call it KinkedIn - Dating for Nerds!14
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Just picked up some freelance work because someone recognized my dev rant shirt.
Devrant has become a cabal.5 -
Start changing how young people look at programming. It’s not nerds doing nerdy things, it’s about real people using code to solve real problems. I think once the mindset changes it will get many more people interested.6
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I know a developer who works for a Mortgage Company, and he is dangerously incompetent. He used to work for my boss before I did and we both told his new boss how unqualified he is, but because he's able to get things "done" they think he does a good job. But I've been in the code and their entire system could any day just completely Fall Apart and they could be in a lot of trouble and we tell them this and they don't listen to us.5
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Updating code for big client.
Find that they are not encrypting passwords in the database and are not sanitizing user input from forms.
Do not trust the user!2 -
My top reasons for you to not become a dev are:
- You don't like stress
- You like to overengineer but you want to "take your time"
- You hate bug-detective work
- You are impatient
- You want to overcome your virginity
- You are an overly social person6 -
Started using windows mixed reality for part of my work day, best part, using Cortana voice activation to do things in my virtual space, worst part, every time i say 'hey Cortana,' my google home makes a snide remark.
Fucking google3 -
We had robotics, or rather an electronics workshop today. Just imagine throwing a bunch of nerds into a room with 3d printers, lots of electronic parts and other tools.
Anyway one of my friends said that his computer wasn't working.
Me: It's running windows so it's broken by default.
Him: common, windows isn't that bad
Me: it is
Our teacher walking by: I'd never want to use windows, it's basically malware
I just sat there smiling 😊2 -
😸:oh hi, i came in early to checkout this game, but i was just about to get off and start work.
😎:I'm not your boss. I don't caire what you do.
👺:I am your boss, and as long as you get the work done, on time, and done well, I don't care if it looks lie you are doing nothing but being paid to play games. If anyone does bother you about playing games at work let me and I will let them know to leave you alone.3 -
When I share jokes posted on devRant with others people don't get it. If they get they don't find the humour.
Happy to have a community of geeks,nerds,weirdos,outsiders.2 -
I only develop UIs with react and only ever with functional components
I would actually DIE without my MacBook Pro 16”
I spend roughly 30 minutes a day trimming my beard. I’m a civilized man after all
I only drink Starbucks coffee, and only if it’s a triple pump latte
Ew what’s jQuery? Sounds like something my grandpa used
Omg really? Are you still using PHP in 2020?! Lame!
Gross. Windows is for n00bs and Linux is for nerds. macOS FTW
Post is comprised of quotes from a classmate who annoyed the living hell out of me14 -
Here nerds. Here are some Dev Books for free!
Http://Goalkicker.com - Has like 50 categories of developing Languages and tools notes. iOS pdf has 800 pages. Java has 900!
And if youre living under a rock, here's a github repo of 1,044 PDFS (last I checked) - https://github.com/tpn/pdfs
Go learn something!4 -
@dfox
Only 2 rants an hour.
Ok
How about the ability to save and manually post later feature?
I had an idea for a rant. It was gold i tells ya... if only I could remember what it was. 😥8 -
Thirty hours over two weeks, but we finally patched a angular app that was originally built on 2 (alpha) to 4, reducing the load time ten fold.
Don't thank me, thank super duck. The duck with the power to debug any code.
Gawd I'm tired.
2 -
Would you rather program one handed because...
A). Broken arm.
B). Holding screaming baby that slaps keyboard occasionally.6 -
If you right click on a video on YouTube (on desktop), there's an option to view 'Stats for nerds'.
Cool.
3 -
Met a girl on tinder
She asked - what do you do?
I said - I'm a programmer
She said -
Sorry I don't date nerds :(8 -
You know your a dev when quality time with the kids is sitting them on your lap and letting them watch Netflix on one monitor while you program on the other.2
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who has used a screw driver to connect the prongs to turn on a computer without a case/power button?7
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i have been fortunate enough to always work with awesome people.
both jobs I have had after college had almost no supervision, and I could come and go as I pleased.
I am a professional, and I loved being treated as one. I don't take advantage of my work, and they don't take advantage of me.2 -
Showed devRant to a fellow computer science student, he smiled and said it's like 9gag for nerds. Never talking to him again.7
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Got the cheapest laptop I could find that would run Windows mixed reality.
Installed Linux subsystem for Windows and Ubuntu.
Nothing but giant flying terminal windows across my view of a virtual Seascape.
This is my new home.4 -
The first time you try to google what an operator does by using the symbol in the search bar because you don't know the name for it.
2 -
My AP CS teacher told us that we have a lab due the day after Valentine's Day. But that's not an issue for us because we are tech nerds... My face when most the class agrees.2
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My message to all devs.
If your boss emails you during the festive season, you owe no one a response. It can wait. Again, it can wait. Happy festive season nerds. -
Create this fucking account just to say: FUCK XAMARIN!
Mono is great on Linux, but Xamarin.Android is a GAY RETARD!
Fucking Xamarin.Android apps are retarded, wait for them 3 fucking seconds and a simple Hello World app doesn't start.
Retarded Xamarin.Forms make the whole pile of shit a lot worse using fucking abstractions and stuff. And the geniuses at Uno Platform does not make this shit any better.
Why don't those nerds at Xamarin make a way to compile all C# code to native JVM bytecode and provide all C# core libraries AS NATIVE JAVA LIBRARIES, RATHER THAN LOADING A NEW USELESS RETARDED VIRTUAL MACHINE ON THE JVM?
So that's it. Guess there's no way to write good Android apps using C#.10 -
She asked for it...
Me: being happy with my first rant, scrolling through the app on mobile in bed
Gf: aah are you now on instagram for nerds?!
Me: ... (sudden realization how 'our world' may be perceived by muggles)
'5 minutes pass, both on mobile'
Gf: hey can you help me get this *feature* to work on my iPhone?
Me: why don't you can ask for help on your photo platform for cool people?
Gf: ... (sudden realization to be nice in order to get help with iCrap)
True story4 -
So, I'm a veteran. I served in the Army as an information system operator/analyst. Glorified help desk, set up some equipment in the field, a few other small things. But I can make fun of vets, other branches, and those serving. I've paid my dues, and they're OK with it. Hell, they all do it too. But you have to be a vet or currently serving.
I feel like that with tech too. My buddies and I call each other geeks/nerds all the time. I get annoyed (read as pissed off) when someone from the outside does it.
I got an email from a recruiter that said something along the lines of "..basically a bunch of really smart nerds building software..." What the actual fuck? Go eat an entire bag of dicks, and choke on every single one.12 -
Reviewing code for applications after not working on it for six months.
Client: so what is the first step to adding our new feature.
Me: I really think we need to redo the entire architecture from the ground up. It won't work any differently than it does now, but the code will be cleaner.
Client:😓
Me:😅3 -
Just found out when you right click on YouTube video you can find stats like dropped frames and etc..
4 -
Looks like I'm @dfox evil twin.
class nerd-san extends dfox {
constructor() {
evil = true;
sunglasses = true;
}
}
2 -
Linux nerds, here is a question,
I have a machine with 32 GB Ram, currently it is using 12.5 G and at the same time I see swap is used 1.55G/2.00G
why swap is used if i have enough Ram ?21 -
Spending hours trying to solve a problem just to find that the answer was not just simple, but well known. You just didn't know the technical term to search for.1
-
squashed a spider this evening just to have it erupt with hundreds of tiny baby spiders.
what a terrifying real world visualization of my week.2 -
A guy looks up the word 'spring' to find out about Spring season and Google suggests Spring Framework. Google, you nerds!
Oh well, cookies.2 -
To the front end dev that 'finished' his part of a web form with a Hundred pluss fields. You left every id, name, and label-for as 'first-name'.
I know it saves you time to copy paste and only change what's visible on the page, but FUUUUUUCK YOU! -
Switching from an Open Source IDE to Visual Studio is quite literally just like going straight from a sandbox into gold mining.3
-
disadvantage of using noise canceling headphones.
boss comes in from other room. more amused than annoyed
👺:Is there a reason you are letting out a loud burp and a fart every couple minutes that i can hear through the walls?
🙊:Oh!? now I understand why my deaf friends are so oblivious to why the rest of us start laughing for 'no reason' when we go out to dinner with them. -
my farther, it took me three hours to teach him how to use a mouse, and complains about not being able to find the free WiFi (he expects it to be something physical he can walk up to and take).
but whe he finds out the Internet has porn he (by himself without instructions) hacks the senior community center's router to bypass the porn filter.3 -
Not all computer programmers are NERDS people just assume you are a nerd once you tell them you write code6
-
What?
I don't get it?
That doesn't make any scene....
goto line 5980
😎 coding like a boss....
goto line 8764
🤡 I have no idea what I'm doing.... -
You have 10 notices that your rant had gotten a ++, but the total score has only gone up by one.
😒2 -
I've just found that python includes a logo implementation. That turtle thing where you give it instructions to draw. Awesome nerds.4
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Does devrant have a public api? Tempted to write an atom plugin so I can pretend to work, but actually rant.1
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Since graduation, I have worked in IT for 2 years, mostly in testing and implementation side. Finally I got a developer position in the field I wanted (Data Engineering). I had never thought that it would be such a soul crushing experience. My current company is very notorious for its bad management practices, but there is indeed a bigger picture to this. The IT industry in general has devolved into a gigantic ponzi scam built on exploitation and BS. Quality of solution and quality of work was replaced with a ‘Does it work now?’ approach with zero contingency. And the fact that geeks and nerds are naive only helps the white collar crooks to exploit them as code monkeys. Fuck all of this!1
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!Rant
I just found something insanely fascinating for the nuts-and-bolts computer history nerds. It's an article by Eric S. Raymond titled "Things Every Hacker Once Knew." It outlines old general-knowledge shit about the computers of the 60s-90s: ASCII, terminal protocols, bit architectures, etc. which can still be useful for anyone roped into repairing or maintaining arcane or legacy systems.
http://catb.org/esr/faqs/... -
When facebook and youtube adds are nothing but clients you built websites for.😒
Someone needs to update their algorithm to more than just 'how many times you visited a website before.' -
i understand and accept why some people prefer mac.
every mac i have ever used has shit the bed during normal use. while windows and Linux machines have too, however less frequently. unlike mac there is always something i can personally do about it to fix the problem.
i like having complete control over my computer and don't like the idea of paying a premium to be told how i can or can't use it.6 -
So I have a date tomorrow. First meeting in person. I’ve got a little time to kill before hand, and need to learn Dart anyway....so I thought it would be fun to code her up something interactive. Kinda like that game Mr and Mrs. Only in the terminal, and for nerds.
Features, ladies and gentleman?9 -
so a client yesterday decides they need a site built by eop Friday, that has been quoted today. if approved first thing tomorrow gives about 1.5 days to get it done. Thanks boss
-
Manny a developer has been foiled by a single random misplace punctuation mark hiding in a million lines of code.3
-
Fucking mobile single player online games.
So there I am, sitting on the tube, being passed around London like a unit of sweet corn taking a ride on the mud salad that decorates the interior of the common worm.
Game can't boot. Sorry, You paid but it wont start until you pay with your personal data we're trying to upload first things first.
One day some psychopath who sees what they're up to is going to find out where they live and then there will be no where that they live.
On another note. This is devrant. Vent, be angry, let it out.
It's turning into some pathetic joke.
Stop pussy footing around you bunch of pussyholes.
Have a shout, have a bout, have a laugh none of us nerds have ever had a bath because none of it is real, it's just a nerfed/gussied up forum you waste of cum.4 -
Client sends screenshots, compressed, and shrunk down to an unreadable size, inside a docx file.
Just... just no. Where is a spray bottle or a rolled up newspaper when you need one.
(For you three people who are going to comment 'why don't you just teach them...' ssssssssssshut up, some people are just unteachable ( for you other three who are going to say 'everyone is teachable.' Not true, if it was you wouldn't be saying such things.))1 -
git checkout origin/develop
git status
You are not currently on a branch.
Only computers and nerds can argue like that.
Expected behavior: I'm on branch develop, but nevermind, let's overcomplicate everything.9 -
Hey fellas, especially you security nerds.
I've had asymmetric encryption explained to me a number of times but I can't get a handle on it because no example actually talks in human terms. They always say "two enormous prime numbers", which I understand, but I can't conceptualize.
Can someone walk me through an entire process, showing your math & work, using some very small, single- or double-digit primes? Such as if I were to encrypt the text "hello world" using prime numbers like 3, 5, and 710 -
A question to the other linux-nerds here.
I wonder if "env" is present in all Linux distros or can it be missing?3 -
I don't care about your good ideas.
If you don't code, don't art, have nothing to contribute to the work, and aren't going to pay me for my time, then there is no collaboration.1 -
I read this rant on Quora. Is this true ?
“The IT industry has devolved into a gigantic ponzi scam built on exploitation and BS. Quality of solution and quality of work was replaced with a ‘Does it work now?’ approach with zero contingency.
And the fact that geeks and nerds are naive only helps the white collar crooks to exploit them as code monkeys.”9 -
The school I went to, and this was really the only benefit of the school, gave all it students lifetime memberships to digital tutors, which was bought out by pluralsight, which then bought code School. So I basically got free membership to three different sites, all of which have a good amount of technical training with videos, guides, and work along lessons on them.
For what school cost to me, it will have paid for itself as long as I live for another Thousand Years.1 -
Am I the only one who doesn't really see feel or need as an insult? Geek means someone who "messed around" with tech and need is someone who is smart. Why do people get offended by it? I mean, I get that people mean it offensively but is it really something to get that upset about? If someone was to call me a geek or need. Imma walk with my head high and own it.9
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Spent two hours having two recruiters give me test, interviewing, and being told HOW perfect I am for the job I was applying for; Just to be told they are only allowed to send over people they have found previous work for, but I should instead apply to these othwr positions that pay half what I'm looking for.
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Okay, honst question:
What the fuck is up with all that self deprecation?
I am not talking about the usual irony that comes with certain stereotypes about being a developer.
I am talking about people telling themselves that they are unable to socialize, find a girlfriend or generally justifying bad things just because they belong to a certain group.
It's not the 80s. Software devs and nerds in general are not all social outcasts anymore. I don't understand how some people can just "accept their fate as a dev" and act as if anything is keeping them away from social success.
What's your take on this issue?17 -
Love Squirrel Girl, the super hero with the powers of a squirrel, and a degree in computer science.
4 -
https://youtu.be/2VkNWLYD5c4
What this? Kids who use tablets and technology have IMPROVED fine motor skills over those who do not.
How can this be? Everything the new generation has that older generations did not is always the worst thing ever.3 -
talking about people with computer preferences i don't understand.
i sometimes forget i use a mechanical roller ball mouse for work and play.
which one? just google it, these are so out of fashion there are only three different models currently for sale anywhere that i can find.
6 -
Getting a new laptop is exhausting if you haven't been keeping up with the technology. I have purchased three laptops in the last two weeks returning the first two after spending 10 + hours each installing updates and software just to find out they didn't work for what I needed.1
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VR is great. Been getting together weekly with my dungeon and dragon friends from highschool but instead of meeting in person we get together in vr.
Feels just like getting together in person but is more convenient since we each connect from our own homes.2 -
"There is a reason that we keep our variables private. We don’t want anyone else to depend on them. We want to keep the freedom to change their type or implementation on a whim or an impulse. Why, then, do so many programmers automatically add getters and setters to their objects, exposing their private variables as if they were public?"
-Uncle Bob, Clean Code.1 -
Hello and welcome come to hell for developers. Take a seat at any open computer.
You may have noticed we did away with the fire and brimstone.
Instead we just have you maintain the legacy code from your first job.
It's genrally html, php, javascript, and css all on the same page and all mixed together.
We would say have fun, but that's not really the point. -
Stop recommending arch
Start recommending arch wiki
These nerds spend so much stuff in their system that every weird shit and behaviour is there6 -
I need to stop adding, weep uncontrollably, between tasks in my work to do list before my coworkers start thinking I'm serious.
Technically I am serious - you would be too if you had to manage the servers I inherited - but I don't want to ruin the all powerful Wizard of Oz vibe I got going.1 -
Was trying to find the option for sharing a video with start at specific time.. accidentally stumbled uppon this.. was pissed at first for hiding start at option, but found this, so now I am mildly happy and amused..
8 -
Early on in my freelancing career I learned something important. Even with seemingly tame nerdy stuff, sh*t can get real, real quick. This story describes the very start of my career in web development and hopefully will serve as a warning to newbies out there.
A young teen, I had just learned some basics of wordpress, I was confident I could hack together something that worked and looked okay with minimal effort and knowledge. One day I was approached by a guy who wanted a job board board site. Knowing there were already clones out there I figured this would be an easy gig, man was I wrong.
In addition to the fact I didn't know about contracts or the scope creep from hell, I had somehow gotten myself involved with a criminal business front.
These guys operated a scam business to rip off investors. Me and my designer buddy were used to make the business look legit. What they would do is hold job fairs where people are supposed to pay to rent a booth, but instead they would give everyone a booth for free and then lie about what all businesses were coming. They would then show this info, along with the website and marketing materials to investors. They would take the money from the investors and launder it for drugs.
The real story starts the day of one of the worst hangovers I had ever had. I was at a random friends house sleeping for most of the day.
Apparently one of the guys who was operating the scam business was about to strike a deal with one of the investors when something on the website didn't work (it was working as designed). This guy, Manny we'll call him, had been blowing up my phone all morning. I check my voicemails and there are threats on my life; saying I will be sleeping with the fishes, or if they ever find me, they'll fuck me up. Needless to say this really freaked me out, either way I decided to head back to my dorm.
When I come back home, my designer buddy tells me that some guys were in the house looking for stuff. Apparently this guy hired two nerds to "break into my computer and steal the website", fortunately they didn't know what they were doing.
After a while I got another call, Manny wanted to sit down and "talk things out". Being naive I accepted and we met up. The two nerds were there with one of his body guards. He said he wanted to have those two nerds take over the project. While this was going on, his bodyguard flashed his gun at me several times making eye contact. I agreed to, but I still wanted to get paid. I asked about getting paid and he said we never signed a contract and that he owned the host and domain. I was pretty much screwed.
This is where the story should end, but I wasn't a very smart guy back then. I gave up the site but I created a back door into it. Every week or so, they would get "hacked". Because the two nerds didn't know what to do, they ended up coming back to me for help. This is when I finally got paid. Totally not worth it. -
This phone has been hijacked by an artist for the evening. My friend told me you guys are programmers. So what are you nerds up to?8
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<rant>
I'm getting so sick of people bitching about their privacy and apps (looking at you gdpr).
They want full anonymity and share 0 data... well fine but then pay me 2.99 a month to use my service... oh you don't want to spend money well ok then, ill use some of your metrics and share them with advertisers so you can keep using the service at no cost... oh you don't want us to collect the data you are already spewing around on every online platform? well then we cant have you using our service because you are costing us money... what? the gdpr is forcing us to keep providing you with the service... but... who is going to pay for resource costs?!
arrghh!!
</rant>
ps: the gdpr is so full of loopholes, half the arguments you "nerds(be honest you read it on facebook that we have to delete you data...haha..)" use for how great it is are...well... moot
pps: with you nerds I don't mean the readers of this13 -
Spend the same amount of time looking for and testing existing npm packages as it would take to build something from scratch.
Nothing yet, but Boss is still certain that building our own is unnecessary.
😐 -
When client budget is less than the time needed to do a good jobs.
Happens more than I like.
"We’ve all said we’d go back and clean it up later. Of course, in those days we didn’t know LeBlanc’s law: Later equals never."
-Clean Code1 -
Code editors as Doom skill levels:
coda = I'm too young to die.
notepad++ = Hey, not to rough.
sublime = Hurt me plenty.
vi = Ultra-Violence.
emacs = Nightmare!3 -
when the pm chooses a js library but says can you just change this... either accept the library as you chose it or give a proper spec to write it from scratch
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Heads up, fellow tech nerds: if you're an Amazon Prime member and have ever wanted a Raspberry Pi, there's a good deal on a starter kit, 20% off for Prime Day! Search for "CanaKit Raspberry Pi 3 Complete Starter Kit".
I've always wanted to build a project with a Pi, and now mine's coming Friday! Build project suggestions?6 -
any time i come up with a cleaver solution to a problem I remember my cousin who works for nasa and i mope about how I've waisted my life and nothing i do matters.5
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Buying a brand new laptop, I think I'll save some money and get an i5 instead of an i7 and then turn around the next day and decide I hate money and I love having a computer that's more powerful than I need it to be.7
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It depends! if u want the framework to be God then use Django, but if you want to be the God, then use Flask(but make sure you're a real God)
15 -
Short awnser. Find a damn hobby.
Mine's pool. Go to bars on weekends and play tournaments and drink. Be amazed how social you can be when you're enjoying yourself3 -
bitch, i AM the developer
still love how the most important part of a TECH SaaS (the developers) are always just a commodity "ah just send it off"
meanwhile the dashboards of all these tools for the "business types" are all absolute garbage
the world's all backwards
revenge of the nerds continues until moral improves
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"I don't think anyone will mind if we update and make all old code incompatible."
- every reat/soap service the day after you finish development. -
StackOverflow gatekeepers: "Voting is already communicating." Maybe it is, but in such a minimal way like an error message saying "an error occurred". Sadly this is current UX as well as long as nerds are in charge. Sometimes I feel ashamed to be a developer. Are we human or robots?3
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Real question, not troll. There is debate about it and I really can't figure it out.
Besides having the title software "engineer," is there really such a thing as a software engineer?
In the US, to be an engineer you have to be regularly tested by a regulated governing body, apprentice under another engineer for years, and be certified on a state level. Whereupon you are personally liable for your designs being FREE from errors.
For one thing, nobody can write bug free code, and the idea of being personally responsible for each bug is terrifying.
And two, I've seen news of people calling themselves software engineers in the USA and Canada and getting a cease and desist or sued for it, despite any level of qualification.
I'm sure there are engineers, especially electrical, computer engineers who also program.
But... ?
I don't know, I can't say either way.
That's why I'm asking.9 -
when i brought the vive home the wife was all, meah😒, at first then, 😲 oh my goodness this is the halo deck, our future is an empty room with vr goggles.
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Didn't learn to code till late 20's
Always wanted to program since I was a little kid but was discouraged by everyone I ever talked to about it as it being 'too difficult .'
Finally had an awsome college professor that took special interest to encourage me to go after it. -
brainstorming to do some opensource work in AR (Augmented Reality) and supporting platform. any nerd out there with same task i have......
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Hello world? Why is everyone being so friendly to the stupid planet? It won't even go out of the way to say something back! Go talk to a real person, damn nerds.
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on live server
me: these root server files have loose permissions.
sudo chmod -rf 644 /*
me: well... 'cd' works, but nothing else. -
This book I'm reading on SEO is like drinking nightquil.
The more I read the harder it gets to not pass out.6 -
Dear clients
Websites are not a turnkey business.
Your site is going to need maintenance overtime. And you are going to need to pay for it. -
"Oh computer, your real name should be porn funnel. I love my family more than you, but only collectively. on a case by case basis I love you more than any individual family member. "
-Nerd 'robot chicken' -
Another guy who doesn't even fucking know the spec of the device that asshole is holding, acts cool and fucking calls us nerds & losers (the devs due to whom all the coolness is possible with all those techs) and is so fucking dumb but gets the girls!!1
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Cold-brewed yerba mate, iced brewed crio bru, Adderall, duck.
I believe I have everything that I need to hit those deadlines before break.
1 -
Working with friend and using nodejs websockets and SVG to build online multiplayer lazer screen arcade like games.
The only delay is having to stop every couple of minutes to restate how cool this is. -
i really dislike inheriting depricated projects😓.
really wanted to use angular 2 for current project but our hosting server is outdated and nodejs wont run on it.
realy wish we could update the server, but doing this would break 10 older sites we are being paid to host .
any ideas?15 -
It's so cool to see this many computer nerds just like me gathered in one place. I think I'm gonna like college, it's a dream come true.3
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Hello my fellow Android nerds! Spent the last few hours coming up with this...
Surely there is a better/easier way?
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Hey fellow nerds, I have a math question :)
I need to split a pile of coins (1s, 2s, 5s, 10s and so on) into a number of piles, let's say four, so that each pile has the same amount of money, but not necessarily the same amount of coins. Does anybody know of such an algorithm?7 -
Figured I'd toss this out for any keyboard nerds here interested in the new lopro mechanical trend.
Kono store just restocked the hexgears x-1 keyboard in all switch types. and an upgraded battery. 👍🏻
https://kono.store/products/...4 -
write comment about posters preference of device or OS.
close eyes and imagine the meaningless flame war that would follow.
delete comment.
feel good about choice.
good for me. -
I been looking over my profile and god it's been a while, programming as still been going on in the background but more for game mods and alikes, kind of been lazy but same time dealing with life.
I really had forgotten my passion for tech and programming it's just become a tool I know and use and I kind of feel bad for doing that. I got in to computers when I was 6 years old built my own PC our of random spare parts at 7, was teaching family members how to repair there own pcs by 9 at the age of 11 was helping with the schools computer department repair and fixing networking problems and my ideas and comments mattered.
Now I am an adult ... Sadly it seems the enjoyment of any idea is shot down with some rude remarks from another Dev, but isn't the point we all see a problem different so we all can contribute?
Like I said I never worked away from computers or programming but now I more like your little side computer repair shop I can do it, I get the job done but the passion isn't there and the end result reflects it.
I believe it's the human part what put me off not just others but myself, I used to put my heart in to my projects and when someone comes alone and rips them apart for let's say a spelling mistake what I state everywhere I am dyslexic but seems to be over looks alot. I became more stale in what I was willing to take on. My own websites now reflect this I am using crappy reinstalled software over me doing it myself.
But the passion for the idea what tech and programming never left I just hope one day soon I am enjoy it again, the wow factor is still there, god there is some talent out there and some of them people I meet before they became big but my aim was never to be come big I would be happy to be on a small project what only as a few eyes on it as long as it makes a difference and that's my problem tech like everything as become so commercial.
Even small projects are ran like a company and the wow factor is gone or the risk factor of trying a unknown way is dismissed for trying to keep face.
If I was born 20 years before right now I would be glad to slow down but I am 30+ and seen the world change so much in this last 10 years where I can do it but .... Why would I do it, when most cases it goes out of my moral ideals
I still mess around with teck, I still have Pi's kicking about and you bet your bottom Dollar I will be trying to get a Pi 5 lol
The love of tech hasn't gone but the communities I enjoyed have, I know this is a me not adapting but I don't need to adapted, I want what we do to matter to someone to make a difference, and I mean with there life's and wellbeing not there bottom line.
If you have any communities to look in to please comment below and of you was able to read this then OMG I am so sorry, I didn't proof read this or anything it was just a little rant about how I become disconnected from the world I have always found enjoyment.
I slipped away to game at late but this last few months I seen myself wanting to be apart of a project or community for tech/programming and even just be a voice helping even someone else get the answer.
I do still have hope for the geeky nerds of yester years even if we are now just a relic of the past lol
Well sorry to put anyone's eyes though this lol enjoy your rants guys and keep up what ever projects your working on.3 -
Every time I read a job description and they are looking for a "super star" or "rock star" etc I feel they are specifically trying to target the people that were the nerds and geeks in school that just wanted to be popular.1
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4200 php files with exploit code removed or cleaned and 12 hours of work, and I can cautiously sigh a relief2
-
Question for all the security/privacy nerds here. What is your opinion of the social network called Minds that pays you for your information basically.
(This is a very brief probably inaccurate summary but yeah, it’s basically reverse Facebook)1 -
for on the go developinh I have completely replaced my laptop with my phone and a folding Bluetooth keyboard.
It can really do anything my laptop did, and if needed I can just remote desktop into my pc or ssh into a server.2 -
Tell client we need to add an hour to the budget to test, QA, and proof account/password emails to be sent to over 2000 customers.
They say they tested it and to send now.
Charge them for an additional four hours to test, QA, and proof apology emails because client's api was sending broken passwords.1 -
a friend greeting our group of friends: advanced happy new year guys!
me: basic happy new year guys! 😅
friend: why?
me: ..1 -
So the cocks* where i work have recently started a policy where sleep mode is no longer a good idea anymore. This is so that they can push gpupdates everyday, i.e bogus corporate propaganda such as changing our desktop wallpaper. Like developers give a fly f* about corporate events and wtf marketing actually do with their time. Filled with noisey ass b*.
I wouldn't be half surprised if the policy is enacted by the head of IT. C* refuses to teach any one on his team so this way he looks important and busy all of the time.10 -
I saw some game maker software (Klik & Play for the nerds), in a super market budget section and pestered my mum to buy it for weeks, got it, after a year of playing about started to read and found out about for loops & functions..... My software didn't have these as it was just creating actions for game events, very limited... Realised my games (if you could call them that) could be so much better with more control and started to look into languages like BASIC, the rest is my history :)
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My biggest regret is not becoming a programmer sooner in life. Ever since I saw the computer wore tennis shoes when I was 5 I wanted to be a computer programmer. But my brother discouraged me saying it was so difficult but no one did it. So I thought I guess if no one is doing it.... Then in both Junior High and High School they have computer classes but you had to be friends with the teacher to even know it existed in the first place. I was not on good terms with him.
Thanks to a very encouraging Teacher at Art School I finally I was able to pursue my lifelong interest in computers. -
i know i could have done this in 10 min using our current framework,
but i really wanted to learn this new framework.
only took 10 hours to figure out.
still considering it a win. -
being 4th in line to maintain legacy code in a language I have never used before when the the last two guys were, and this is my boss telling me and not my judgment, 'incompetent.'
there are literally four functions in this class that all do the same thing... which is the one being called in this case... a seperate external function located in another file in a different language on a different server all together. 😐 -
When you're out at the ComicCon, surrounded by all those magnificent nerds, having a blast, got yourself the best debugging buddy(who brings on board the knowledge of the ancient ones - pic below) but you kiiiinda want to be home already, because you want to learn RoR - then you know you're hooked.
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my fellow nerds, what are your favorite rpg tropes? we're making a little game to raise morale at work, with our colleagues as character, and I'm not very good at coming up with events13
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there is no time in the budget for refactoring the code that is being shipped to live.
the only refactoring i get done is the code going into my portfolio. -
I pride myself on not being a nerd. I can communicate with customers and I don't dismiss aesthetics, marketing, delivery dates, and legal considerations as completely inconsistent and arbitrary.
But still, when clients complain about my predecessors, I start to feel for them and imagine when past developers
- preferred to rewrite the legacy system
- were reluctant to use Microsoft software
- needed much more time than estimated
- and failed to understand implicit requirements.
I know that there are a lot of developers in the world, but you need a decent or good one who is available and willing to work on your project.
As (web) developers, we should behave more like craftspeople, stay calm, and ignore entitled clients' and managers' moods and micro-management attempts unless there's really a critical issue.13 -
Fuck concrete and the likes! Just fuck it. If I enjoyed grinded stone so much I'd move to fucking Romania or camp inside the Chernobyl dome or something.
I want every concrete building to have a disclaimer saying that 'you are now entering a fucking Faraday cage - the contractor who built this place hates puny nerds like you with a vengeance!'2 -
There is a comic book app, let's call it 'the fucking awful crunchy roll manga app'.
Over two years, and four devices, 80% of the time it loads pages out of order, or the same three pages over and over, Making books unreadable. Reseting the app or device does not fix it. It's just random when it works.
Point being. Its a god damb gallery app! That's programing 101 shit. How dose a company this big, That does two things, stream video and display images in order, completely fuck up half of their entire market for years with no one fixing it?
I could program this thing in a week end. That's not a brag. This is almost literally a 'apps for dummies' throw away project .
Why? Just WHY?2 -
inherited management and development of a cms that is both beautiful and terrify.
when the developer nefore you was a mystic of programming that you will never be equal to.😅😟😢 -
Can you suggest discord servers to me?
Particularly ones with active voice chats and nice nerds.
(I need new distraction while i study/work 👀) -
Problem with touchscreens.
Look away from phone for a minute and when I turn back to find I somehow navigated to a settings menu.
Oh crap! Did I change anything?!
Factory reset phone just to be safe. -
I don't know how much use others get out of the zoom functionality in browsers.
normally i have several different browsers open with multiple windows on a single monitor with half of them zoomed to 50% so I can fit more and still see everything at once without juggling whats on top or switching desktops. -
did a google search for typesceipt date formating as just 'ts date'...
the results were less than helpful.1 -
here comes few inspirational ( or depressing depending on the POV ) tracks :
Listen to Pegboard Nerds - Hero (feat. Elizaveta) [Infected Mushroom Remix] by InfectedMushroom on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/infectedmush...
Listen to Merkaba - Epic Life by Lipaz Saar on #SoundCloud
https://on.soundcloud.com/gano6
Listen to Balduin & Wolfgang Lohr feat. J Fitz - Magic Man by Wolfgang Lohr on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/wolfganglohr...
Listen to Patrick Haize & Momentology - Souls Recognition by Momentology on #SoundCloud
https://on.soundcloud.com/tmnxT
and another just cool :
Listen to Merkaba - Mental Monkey Bars by Sell .. on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/cassio-sell/...
enjoy ( or not ) either way enjoy the sunny day or moony night ( if u have such @ ur loc ) =]7 -
I've tried to Google this question and always get the same shit. So I hope I can ask it here.
Do any of you nerds know of any windows 10 UI customization software that's not rainmeter, but like rain meter?9 -
For some reason I always forget the enctype from forms with file uploads. Spent half an hour today digging through the functions for saving the file before discovering the image want being posted at all. D'oh
-
What's the name of that protocol that federated social media software implements? ActivityPub? well, what ever the name is I know it does not implement any concept for fitness specific social updates (like this app Hevy does)
-
Top instrumental bands to listen to while programming?
Adebisi Shank
https://music.youtube.com/watch/...5
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