I turned a 20 hour per month task into a 150ms database query.

I feel like a fucking super hero.

FYI my super hero name is ThreadPool (see past rant)

I've started programming when I was 12. Right now I'm 25. I can clearly say that I'm passionate, I've touched I think almost every "type" of programming ever. From game development, through IoT and finished at eCommerce. I never stop learning.

My workmates are pissing me off. For code review sometimes I'm waiting even 3 days when I've changed like 5-6 files. They don't want to introduce "new" technologies (by new I mean who are existing at least 2-3 years, got stable community). They don't want to refactor some core of the application because it's working - they don't care about it as they can later say "legacy system so this basic feature took me a week".

Code quality means for them "use shorthand syntax, this code is ugly" - the basic shit which can do any linter

When I'm doing code review, I'm checking out to this branch, test it, check if the solution is scalable. Then I make my comments. I just hear "stop bitching about it just approve".

Thank God I've made through interview and I'm going to switch job in next week.

When you feel that only you and maybe one other guy from the team care about product and do effort to actually refactor legacy spaghetti code while others just patch it up or even build changes on top of legacy spaghetti!

How many unfinished projects do you all have sitting around currently

Being Generous

I'm sorry I just have to -

AHHHHHH!!!!! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKSHITASSFUCKFUCKTHISSHITFUCKASS

thank you.

So fellow dev asked me design suggestion knowing that I did design way before, I provided him with ok-ish solution and he said to me: 'this is way better response than designer gave me!'. So curious as I am I asked him what did he said? He said : 'Yeah, sure!' on everything he asked if it is ok to add to screen!

That feeling when devs are better designers than designers you have at disposal!

I have been a software engineer for about 14 years now, in the beginning, I thought to be smart meant writing methods that do everything and more. however as I matured in the industry, I learned. keep it simple. 1 method 1 responsibility. One should trail my code and never have to find themselves where they were before in the journey. a journey should have one purpose and not pivot (context disclaimer here) as it goes. good programming is simple programming, its a story not a case of multiple endings.

Webpage: It looks like you are using ad-blocker
Me: It looks like you are getting closed biatch.

It really irks me when I see 'web developers' and 'front-end developers' write CSS like a bunch of first-timers. Not considering hierarchy, specificity or even following a proper naming convention (who the fuck mixes camel case AND lowercase for class names?!) It's worse when you already have Sass or SCSS and they still write their style rules WITHOUT PROPER NESTING or keep using !important like it was a goddamn semicolon.

This is fucking basic shit for a web or front-end developer, and God help you if I ever conduct your technical interview and decide to ask you on a whim to write an Angular app WITHOUT USING BULLSHIT SYSTEMS LIKE CLARITY, ANGULAR MATERIAL OR BOOTSTRAP for your UI. But if you can explain to me the pros and cons between using CSS grid and flex, I'll be fucking impressed.

I wish these 'UI experts' I keep encountering would learn to build an optimal static site without a fucking framework or build manager before doing advanced shit, for the love of Jeebus.

When you debugging so intense, your tabs become Toblerone.

Everyone here ranting about a fucking missing semicolon. I can't remember the last time a missing semicolon was the issue...

You wanna know what's REALLY BALL-BUSTING????

WHEN THE FUCKING 10 y/o LEGACY CODEBASE, CODED BY FUCKING PHP WORDPRESS SCRIPTERS WHO THOUGHT THEY COULD BUILD AN ENTERPRISE SHIT CAUSE ZF2 "LOOKS EASY" AND THEN FILL IT UP WITH SPAGHETTI, IS SO BAD WRITTEN THAT IN ORDER FOR THE PAGE TO RENDER YOU ACTUALLY ****HAVE**** TO DISABLE ERROR REPORTING SO WHENEVER A FUCKING ERROR HAPPENS ON THE TEMPLATE RENDER COMPONENT OF ZEND FRAMESHIT 2, YOU'RE LEFT WITH A FUCKING BLANK PAGE AND NOTHING IS LOGGED TO THE LOG FILE, SO YOUR ONLY OPTION IS DIE() DEBUGGING LINE BY LINE ON THE 1300 LINES PHTML FUCKFEST OF A VIEW THEY HAVE.

MISSING SEMICOLON? YES PLEASE, GIVE ME MORE OF THAT SHIT

When you mess up the repo, the bestfriend to help out is named "stash".
Personal record: 9 times stash in a row with no commits.
Comment to share your personal records...

This is so annoying

When the only StackExchange answer to your production server problem is "Did you try to reboot?".

Is it just me or am I the only one who gets pissed if someone checks the expected result of a variable first?

For example:
if(true === $var)

Instead of:
if($var === true)

When Microsoft tries to turn you into Gollum....

Found this in a code base I just started to work with. I'm glad it wasn't referenced anywhere. This is going to be fun...

Who else has the ctrl+s reflex... I do it on everything 😐

When the "lost password" feature of a website sends you an email with your original password :/

Can't a man just ask a rhetorical question?

Fucking SalesForce.. Nothing worse than spending hours figuring out what precisely you need only to find yourself on a "success" labeled rant platform where a customer rep acknowledges the problem and promises improvements....... 4 years ago

Trying to push my development career towards being a full stack web dev and got a really sick job doing exactly this. Now my company is trying to go Salesforce. 🙁🙁🙁🙁

Dear Microsoft,

It's been almost 2 days since you have asked me to update to Windows 10, I'm beginning to get a little worried, is everything ok?

Took client's site live and enthusiastically encouraged them to write original content...

Very first page published was literally a slash and paste of an entire wikipedia entry with inline links still in the text.

One of my support tickets today:
Hi IT, i can't install Pokemon Go on my phone

I only get a .jpg file for the design requirement of a website. Does that happen to anyone else?

I hate the meetings, let me code for once!!

Wise words to live by...

Meanwhile, inside the kernel of my device that has a relatively frequent release cycle...

if (!isLatestVersion()) {
forceUserToUpgrade();
}

forceUserToUpgrade() {
extraSleepForCpuSoDeviceBecomesSlowAndUnusable++;
}