A conversation I had this week:

Idiot: this thing isn’t working correctly

Me: it’s working as it’s supposed to you just need to change this setting to make it do what you want

Idiot: I’ve spoken to all these people and it’s not working how it’s supposed to

Me: you just need to update that setting on your side

Idiot: but this is what I want it to do and it doesn’t…..

And repeat until your head explodes

Double tapping a post also likes it 😱, I discovered it by accident

Who wants to destroy the internet with a piece of electrical tape?

Paycom is utter dogshit.

Clunky, error prone, junior mistakes on every page, and filled to the brim with HR doublespeak and legalese.

A roving gang of quadriplegic interns could do a better job if the requirements were written in cuneiform and they were paid, up front, in cocaine and whiskey.

After I graduated, I found a junior job in a company where I already knew the only dev, who has been working there for 6 years. Immediately after I signed the contract, the manager told me that the other guy was leaving the company in one month... Horror!

i am so angry, i was trying to play multiplayer on minecraft java, and it won't let me join, its literally been like this for weeks and i'm so angry.
i payed 27 usd and it doesn't even work. like what?
i haven't contacted support yet but i'm about to.

thank you for your time, if you have any advice in the comments, lmk. peace.

!rant && rant

I've been doing random HTML/CSS/JS crap since I was 11 (I'm 20 now). And worked with NodeJS/Swift/Java/Typescript for the past 4 years. For some reason, I've always been interested in public transit and the combination between public transit and Development seemed magical to me. I've tried making Departure time apps and trip planners for a few years now. And for that you need open data, for which we have a national data source and a Google Group for support with that.

I quit my study two years ago after a year doing nothing and I was on the edge of getting into depression because I didn't do anything useful for two years. Didn't see myself do anything useful in the next few years apart from some random dev crap (still public transit related).

About half a year ago I ranted on that Google Group about shit being not efficient (weird standards, weird documentation but mostly lack thereof).

For some reason a business saw that rant and sent me an email about two months ago and told me they 'potentially' had 'some' work for me. So I had some really informal conversations with that business but I still was very insecure about myself (had some shitty experience with tons of unfinished projects) and I was worried that they had higher expectations for me than what I could give them.

A week later I received an e-mail with a proposal for an actual, full-time job as a back-end developer and obviously took the opportunity.

I started a month ago with a month-long probation period and after three weeks told me I had passed the probation period.

I'm a super happy boy right now. I got a job, being super insecure, without any certifications, without finishing school (Everyone in the Netherlands tells you you NEED a diploma to get a job), more than double minimum wage (minimum wage is quite high in the Netherlands), and most important, at a business that does a lot of public transit stuff.

Apparently ranting about stuff, not finishing your school and being depressed gives you a well-paid job. :)

This is a post about some gratitude. Many of my friends were not so lucky during COVID and their companies suffered. I am very grateful to be working for a company where my git branch name of a recent commit was 'feature/support-our-two-new-factories'. My company is thriving and growing :)

Most jobs are shit. Find a place where you like your coworkers and development practices. Most other things are secondary to your mental well-being.

There are only three dev jobs:
- Hate the job
- Feel neutral
- Love the job

Two are choices that you make because of where you are in your life. The other choice you get stuck with and only stay long enough to avoid damage to your reputation.

Baby or bills? Often the middle choice is the best choice. Dream jobs come at a massive cost and risk to your personal stability.

I think I just gave my teammates/boss another mind-blowing idea...
Daily stand-ups are usually done standing up... Which means away from computers... And therefore JIRAs should not be mentioned, at least not by ID...

WHO THE FUCK CAN REMEMBER THEIR ISSUE IDS ALONG WITH EVERYONE ELSE'S...

Today my therapist suggested I work towards one day getting back the will and energy to start coding side projects, just for the fun of it.

That was a long, long time since I had the ability to do. Maybe I can get back to feeling that much in control that I can let work go for a day or two each week and just... Have fun coding. What a mind-boggling thought.

Way to go Hitachi !! My almost oldest hard drive.

65644 hours "on". Still working lol.

This is why I hate Windows:

For about a month now, I've been learning/working on salesforce, so my Macbook was enough for me.
Today there was a bug in something I built in iur Python backend, and since it has a dependency on windows, I booted the old guy up.

And this is what I see. For about 1.5 hours this went on.

Then it started, but system consuming 100% disk and 80+% CPU. Can't do a thing.

And when zoom finally opened (for a quick meet), the camera turned on halfway down the meeting, and then the system restarted on it's own.

Old man showing that same screen again for more than 30 minutes.

Since I have dual boot on this one, I hard-shutdown it using power button, and now boot into ubuntu 20. This works so beautifully (although it froze for about 5 seconds before popping up the updates panel, something I CHOSE to keep enabled). I try going back to Windows, and it's hell again.

Here I am now trying to set up a ec2 instance and setup the app source there so that I can debug with RDP.

And yeah, Component Object Model is a motherfucking bitch. Person who invented it should die. People who build apps leveraging this should die. Business leaders who say "Hey this app (built with COM) can solve the problem easily, so use this" should die choking on their own phallus. And developers like me who keep using this because "the last guy did this" should die too.

Microsoft and it's products are the death of sane people.

Fucking Gates. Its the same damn hardware.

Whaaaat? That used to be my default audio player for local music 😠. I'm not going to upload my mp3 file collection to YouTube to be able to listen to them at work...

Holy shit.

I went to uninstall Adobe Acrobat because our organization uses another PDF reader and now I keep getting annoying pop-ups from Adobe like "update failed" and "license expired".

This PDF READER... USES 7.1 GIGABYTES OF STORAGE.

We talk about Video games being bloated today but HOLY FUCK. This is literally JUST A PDF READER WHAT THE FUCK.

Can't do screenshot cus work PC.

Bitch followed me to the restroom.

Well, that's one for the bikeshed. Jonny Lee Miller would be proud.

Imagine being a software engineer:
You invent a new CMS called "WordPress"
and you decide to store all internal links as complete URLs in the fucking database.
PEAK BRAIN USAGE

I was asked to present a code I wrote previously. This was not planned. I shared my screen and presented. Things went well.

One employee asked me to search a particular term which was possibly related to an advance topic in the domain we were working on.

I opened Chrome and the first page had a Quora post: "Why my dull co-workers try to act smart and are not yet fired?".

[silence]

Had a dodgy stomach. Muted the mic & let out an almighty fart.

Only, as you'll have guessed (and I quickly guessed from the silence that followed), I'd missed the mute button.

Ok, so I REALLY HATE ChromeOS. MY story is this: I'm using Chrome, and I want to get a file from my computer to my phone. Simple enough, I just plug my phone in, and... oh, wait! First it has to open two new windows for my phone's two storage areas. Ok, fine. I close the windows, get my file prepared, and I click/drag it over to the folder I want. Except, the computer doesn't FUCKING see it as a device anymore. It knows it's attached, but it doesn't fucking communicate with it. Ok, maybe it's a cord problem. Nope! Same issue. Maybe I need to update? Nuh-uh! That doesn't work either, since my computer's not supported anymore! And, the cherry on the top of the fucking shitcake that this whole situation is, the Files app, the one that you use to view the stuff on your hard disk? OH, IT JUST GOES AND CRASHES. I can open it! Nothing shows up. No devices work. It's just stuck like that until I reboot my machine.

God... FUCKING damnit, chromeOS.

So, packing up and leaving this hell hole.

In the end I just said that I had 2 panic attacks in the last week, and that I am leaving for medical reasons.

"We're gonna use React Native for our project."

Me:"If that's your decision, then I would decline your offer."

After few weeks...

"Are you vacant for this kind of job? We'll be switching to Flutter".

----
I don't know what happened. I worked for him as a freelancer using VueJS for their project. and he insisted to use React Native to make that web into mobile. I declined his offer. Now he wants to work with me again using Flutter.

How to have success when you are chatting with live support:

- Pretend to be a girl

This is very effective, I can get lower price and good deal almost every time.

No doubt 😂

*Now that's what I call a Hacker*

MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS

This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.

xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

xxx: You're gonna love this

xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".

xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those

Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT

The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...

Lots and lots of energy drinks and 5 hours of sleep

Tips for using jQuery:

Don't