Truer words haven't been spoken

Leaked image of an NSA implant 👍😁

Boss: Come to my office right now! Its urgent
Me: *goes to his office*
Boss: Please install chrome for me
Me: *hands in resignation letter*

I get depressed during times like this.

Me: *does a keyboard shortcut*
Friend: Woaw, are you good on computers?
Me: yea.
Friend: CAN YOU HACK?
Me: yea...
Friend: WHATS MY PASSWORD?
Me: I don't know your password.
Friend: You can't hack then.

I had a dream where I was a cat.... and I was programming.... with paws...

When friends use my computer😂🤗

Do you have thousands of unidentified songs, all named consecutively Track 1?
This application will help you to finally identify those songs with a simple drag and drop. [more details]

Updated description!
Fuck Wordpress in the ass with a new kind of cms. Make devs happy with clean code. And Laravel [more details]

"You will get a month to finish this project."

"I will be honest and give you are a realistic deadline. It will take about 2 months."

"But ${random} company told me they will take one month."

"As you can see from your previous project, they will say one month and will drag it to two-three months by making excuses"

"No, I don't think you are good enough for it. I will pass it to them."

"..."

All O RLY book covers. I laughed so hard that my head is blowing right now :D

https://github.com/thepracticaldev/...

Hey guys, dfox here. Due to many requests, we have decided that now you need only 100++s to get a stressball! Also, we've decided to make the collaboration free for everyone! That's right, any project you have in your mind, post a collab now to get help from other developers.

What does a Git say to another?

Check this out man

Be honest with yourself. If you hate CSS or think it's broken or whatever... you just don't know how to write it well.

Hard core coding

Why are there so many rude cunts on stack overflow?

Completely true.

I deem myself well versed in this subject

I'm tired of those post and memes about wasting four days finding a missing semicolon (;).
Where do those guys program? Notepad?
Come on! Use the existing tools!

My new wallpaper

Happy April fool's day Zara :)

Ordered a new 34" Dell Monitor which should have been delivered today. The lazy ass mailman tried to scam my neighbor by telling him to pay 1000€ for the packet... (Amazon doesn't use cash on delivery)
FUCK OFF IDIOT, I HOPE YOU LOSE YOUR JOB BECAUSE NOW I HAVE TO DO YOUR GOD DAMN WORK AND COLLECT THE PACKET ON MY OWN.

When debugging a code..

If you couldn't work any more as a coder / programmer / hacker / it-master-guru, what would your profession be?

Like, not your ideal profession, but the most likely thing that you would end up doing outside of the dev world.

Your 'oh shit, what have I done? 😳' moment.

/facepalm .................

The only plant that survives my office.

Some people in my class who have been learning java for over 2 years now and ask me what the difference is between a class and a method.

sudo apt-get install suicide

Cat: *walks onto keyboard*
Me: Aww how cute
Cat: $ git reset --hard HEAD

"How would you like your coffee Sir?" Lmaooo

Wife has started to do programming jokes, she is learning so fast