Kotlin: I don't have ternary operator, it's bad for readability
Swift: I removed ++ and --, cause they are old fashioned
Dart: *screams*

Sometimes I don't get "don't test on production".
And I'm definitely not a front-end guy, I only have debug and release in mobile development.
And I definitely often test on release, because it may be broken while debug build works fine.
You know what that means?
1. Test locally
2. Try to fix issues
3. Realize that this issues would ever appear ONLY locally
4. Move to staging and test
5. Fix issues
6. Realize that most of them are caused by workarounds for localhost
7. Move to production
8. Realize that everything is fucked up and you don't have any idea why, because `h5aqq2 was called on null"

Well, that's official Android bug tracker. I should definitely visit it more often.

I refuse even to comment that, bro -_-
I'm not getting payed for that

Just interested about regular office
Do you have dresscode?
How do you feel about it?
How do you think, it's okay to have dresscode at all, or you would prefer half naked coworkers in red boxers rolling around on hoverboard if they get shit done fast and good?

Be nice, they said.
StackOverflow should be more welcoming, they said.
C00lHoker99 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct, they said.
Oh, for fucks sake...
Nobody is going to be nice to drunk hobo that shits in the middle of the library.
Duplicate, no MCVE, bluntly offtopic and "do my job plz asap" questions doesn't deserve any niceness from community.
If you feel like SO isn't welcoming, that's certainly your fault.
And what now? Instead of answering good questions and being **nice to nice fellows** we are swimming in Pacific Crapocean. Nnnnnniiiiiicccceeee

People usually use their phones in portrait mode. People often taking vertical photos and videos. People read books, and every book has portrait pages. Almost every website has unused space on left and right.
But when people see my vertical monitors they all like: oh man, you are weirdo, that's awful and uncomfortable.

App: *Crashes*
Every Android user in the universe: I MUST SCREENSHOT IT AND SEND TO DEVELOPER, SYSTEM CRASH DIALOG WILL DEFINITELY HELP TO FIX THAT

Spent a day debugging low volume of audio record
Just now found a cause of issue
And it was
*drums*
Hardware fault
Mic in my OP5T is nearly dead after I dropped it recently
For fucks sake, why I didn't tested it in the first place

That's a real PR BTW
And it was merged actually

Android MediaCodec and me
ME: What's the meaning of life?
MC: 42
ME: Why did you crashed?
MC: -19
ME: WHAT THE ... -19? StackOverflow?
SO: Have you tried to turn it off and on again?

First thing that I do with weird bug: trying to execute buggy code inside runOnUiThread{} / DispatchQueue.main.async{} and see if it works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Somebody had notifications like this?

Being a Node.JS developer is like...

Another try to optimize app for Android Go.
For those, who doesn't know, app will be featured in special Google Play section if it fits some restrictions.
And one of thhose restrictions - app must use less then 50Mb of RAM.
So, I've decided to start from scratch.
Hello world activity without appcompat library, only Anko and Kotlin support.
32Mb of RAM
SERIOUSLY?? What the flying fuck, Google?
I hope some of you will point me, what I'm doing wrong.

Read about first Android Go device launch will happen lately this month.
Read about restrictions for Android Go section in Google Play.
" - RAM usage less than 50Mb"
With removed Google Maps (they decided to replace with something lighter later) and without stripping functionality app barely fits 64Mb.
With Google Maps it takes 150-200Mb.
Gave up.
Today found Google Maps Go apk.
It's fucking PWA wrapped in apk.
Fucking awesome.

Poll: Go in Android Go stands for...
- Go fuck yourself
- Go learning web development
- Go writing 100 shitapps per second, all with one button

Apple iPhone batteries catch on fire yesterday and today at two different Apple Stores

*Scrolling news on OP5T and laughing *

I think, my most valuable developer skill - ability to work with hangover.
Happy Monday, guys)

Some rants for wk85 look like summary of what I did in 2017
That feels sooo good :3

Me: I want to learn Clojure
Me: But I need real tasks to learn
Me: OK, reconnecting device with wireless adb
Inner me: Are you kidding? 5 lines with bash
Me: In clojure it will be more elegant and faster to write similar tasks in future
*2 hours later*
Me: IT WORKS
Internal me: Really? This is ugly as fuck. And the only clojure feature it uses - sh and re-find
Me: But... It... Works... *cries*

One thing, why I love the Gmail - quick reply suggestions

Learn Clojure and use it instead of Bash / Python for one-line terminal tasks.
Reach 8k$ per month on current project.
Hire few students and make real devs from them.
Watch and enjoy the dawn of cross-platform frameworks for mobile platforms.

Doing only dev related activities made be a better dev.

Dear devRant developers
Please, use emoji compat library
At least until i buy new phone with Android 8
I don't think Marshallow is so bad

I've wasted 5 hours
That's why:

val x: Any = 0L
if (x != 0) {
return
}

I'm waiting for IoT come wide, just because I want goddamn widget which shows if the closest to office toilet is free

Article about creating gradients programmatically.
FullHD png with gradient at the top...

Use fucking svg or at least webp! It's 2k17 already.

Just someone finally believed, that I can do great things.
When everybody else didn't. Family, friends, teachers in university.
And some man from another country, from internet, just said "Come work with me, let's create startup"
My knowledge was poor, but enthusiasm was as large as Satan's dick.
Everybody just need someone, who believes in you.
Two years later we finally have profits. And we still do our best to make app the best. Because being a coder isn't about money.

I opened "About" screen
I read "Write native Android/IOS apps with JavaScript"
A second later: "devRant stopped unexpectedly"
Okay :D

Just remembered one day from university
So, I've not been on any programming lectures and labs
Decided to go for one at least
Terrible hangover, late for half of a hour
Grab list of tasks
Fuck, 15 tasks. All very easy, but a lot
Half of a hour later teacher started to check works
- Oh, please, come back to me later, I need another 5 tasks to be done
- What? Did you read header? You were supposed to do two tasks of your choice
- ...