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Joined devRant on 6/21/2016
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How to be a great developer - 101
1. Write Code
2. scrap it
3. Rewrite in a better way..
Repeat! 😂1 -
-- How I feel at work lately, in terms my wife understands --
Me: There's a gas leak, we need to fix it.
Manager: Yeah, use some duct tape, here's a roll.
Me: That's not how we fix a problem like this.
Manager: Will it work to solve the problem?
Me: Only temporarily
Manager: Ask your co-worker if you need help using duct tape, he's used it before. When will it be fixed?12 -
Looking for a job as a deveoper be like:
Job title: car driver
Job requirements: professional skills in driving normal- and heavy-freight cars, buses and trucks, trolley buses, trams, subways, tractors, shovel diggers, contemporary light and heavy tanks currently in use by NATO countries.
Skills in rally and extreme driving are obligatory!
Formula-1 driving experience is a plus.
Knowledge and experience in repairing of piston and rotor/Wankel engines, automatic and manual transmissions, ignition systems, board computer, ABS, ABD, GPS and car-audio systems by world-known manufacturers - obligatory!
Experience with car-painting and tinsmith tasks is a plus.
The applicants must have certificates by BMW, General Motors and Bosch, but not older than two years.
Compensation: $15-$20/hour, depends on the interview result.
Education requirements: Bachelor's Degree of Engineering.41 -
If Gordon Ramsay made code reviews, I would watch that show. Especially the insults he would use for handling clients.
"This code has so much spaghetti, it decided to open it's own restaurant"23 -
I can't believe that something I threw together in an afternoon to make my work flow better turned into something people actually use! People are opening issues and suggesting things. Never thought it would get over 2.5k downloads! 😮18
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There WAS a time, when I was small, I made a Minecraft server , and asked my friends to join my server at 127.0.0.113
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Difference between C# and Javascript
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
C#: That's not a cup of tea.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar in it.
C#: That's not a cup of tea with two tea spoons of sugar in it.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk in it.
C#: That is not a cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk it.
...
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
Javascript: I'll hold your cup of coffee.31 -
I'm at Disney world and the Windows OS was exposed on one of the machines at a ride so pulled up CMD and ran "tree C:/" then played sample music on full blast. Get on my level hackers :^)10
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My 6 year old has been learning about trees at school, and had questions for me. Needless to say, she now has the best understanding of data structures in her class, and I expect parents evening will be "interesting"8
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!rant
Who needs Photoshop or Sketch , when you have code.
Trying out some Generative type.
Still in love with Processing.12 -
Typing "How to kill all the children in a block" in Google definitely doesn't bring up results related to programming.14
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A moment of silence for the javascript devs downloading a 13MB of this guy along with their babel transpiler.5
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When you're about to do a payment and the payment form is loaded without an SSL connection/certificate... Come on, it's 2017...3
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Me: 1 is something, 0 is nothing, NULL is the absence of things
JuniorDev: wut
Me: You've got pizza in a box, that's 1. If there's no pizza in the box, that's 0. If there's no pizza and no box, that's NULL.
JuniorDev: OOH so there's no object to reference if I ask for a slice!
Me: *small tear*
Always explain things in terms of pizza. Always.25