AboutFrustrated Dev that does far to much support
SkillsAs a recruiter would say everything
Joined devRant on 6/7/2016
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When you go to update your Mac think great I’ll go chill out for half hour, let it update and hit restart, then come back to your computer and realise Mamp stopped your computer restarting without entering a password. FFS rookie error put in the password computer restarts to update. “Calculating time remaining...” 40 minutes. I’m so fucking bored right now just staring at the screen and having a rant.1
Client: my video player has two play buttons.
Me: ok that's weird let me check yes it does have two play buttons your right so turns out the client has taken a screenshot of another video player with the play button still on it and used that as their poster image hence two play buttons.
Finding it impossible to explain this to them arrrrggggghhh why why why1
How do all you other devs deal with sleep? Because I am losing my fucking mind I work for myself so I don't go to work at 9am leave at 6pm.
I normally work until 6am and then sleep till 12 drink 3 strong coffee to start functioning again try and do something productive which at the moment involves catching up on the NBA playoffs and then starting work at 6pm.
Due to resent baby I thought shit my life is fucked I haven't left the house in 3 days I need structure routine I need to work 9am to 6pm become human again but I just can't FUCKING sleep it's now 1:30am and I'm trying to sleep.
I know what your thinking why are you on devRant but I've been trying to sleep for the past 3 hours but all I can think about is work code, refactoring, new languages, security, support shit that can wait but I can't get it out my head, keep thinking "ah your not tired you could work", and YES I have a list which get bigger every day wish I had a drug dealer or was still in contact with my old mates so I could get some Valium but it's hot milk and sleeping tablets for me, life is so much easier when you can just fuck of home at the end of the day and forget about work, not having your laptop next to you trying to trick you into opening it. How do other people who work for theirselves deal with the life work balance?4
Client: I have a issue with my video.
Me: ok can you send me a link and I will take a look.
Client: I can't send you a link but here is a screenshot.
Me: FFS let me debug that screenshot for you.3
Just logged into a clients WordPress website that needs help and they have 64 wordpress plugins installed FFS arrrrggghhh why people why!!!!!2
Ok so there has been a lot of outages this month with AWS going down justeat hungry house some big ones and people have lost their minds my rant is at what point did we fool normal people into thinking the web has 100% uptime and never has the possibility of going down for 10minutes.1
When your wife doesn't understand the concept of working remotely and keeps asking you to put up flat pack that has been in the corner for a few days because you really don't want to put it up. Just because I am sat on the sofa with my laptop on my lap watch the whole series of west world does not mean I am not working. Working from your own house makes you lose your alpha male role pretty quickly when they realise what you really do. Perhaps I should put up the flat pack knock down a wall or something have a break from socket.io!8
When you have a service that makes you a £1000 a month that you become completely obsessed with in the assumption you will be making £10,000 a month in 40 years time if you keep going you invest your life into it and ridiculous amounts of time because it's yours and your not making someone else rich and building their dream just someone's bitch. Even tho you can make £400 a day contracting.
WTF!!!!! I officially have someone trying to extort me just had this in my email box this morning!
My name is [name removed], I'm an IT security expert and I found a security issue on your website.
This email is personal and in no way related to any of my employers.
I was able to access to a lot of files which contains sensitive data.
I attached a screenshot of the files I found to this email.
I would be happy to give you the method I used to access these files in order to let you fix it.
Would be a monetary compensation possible?
Please forward this email to the right person, if your are not responsible for the security of the website.
He can basically see the contents of my wp-config.php. How has he managed this?74
Personal question what sort of wage are mobile devs contracting out at with around 6 years experience, day rate? Would be interesting to see the difference1
I love it when people make a mistake and break something on their website then act as tho the are losing millions of pounds every second like they are going to have to remortgage their house "life is over", if it's not fixed in 30 seconds the world will end!
Then you look at their website and you think they probably have about two users every week, and the website looks like it has been built by a one armed monkey. Delusional2
Developer: we are going o have to do it this way because it's the only way I can get it to work.
Other developer: what are you on about that's a easy thing to do you should not be doing it that way you idiot are you thick or something! do it this way the correct blah blah way, "let me show you moron (says out loud to everyone in the office) to show how superior and awesome they are"......
Two hours later, "yes we will have to do it your way in the end, my way doesn't work"
I fucking told you that 2 hours ago. Some people just don't believe lol #timewasted1
When you work for a company where the guy next to you leans back and falls of his chair smashing into a fan all over the shop you look for people to laugh and take the piss call him a dick and no one else bats a eyelid and just keeps coding, you know you life is over in this job!!!3
I AM going to put parts of my SUPPORT request in CAPITALS to point OUT how annoy I am.
SORT IT OUT
Seriously FUCK OFF4
Customer: your app is not returning all the objects in my bucket
Support: check console log 500 server error, ssh into box check logs exhausted memory limit.
Sudo vim /etc/php.ini search memory limit
Update to a high number restart Apache sit back and think fuck did I set it to high will it blow up my server.
Only time will tell!!! Sorted out the issue until the next user with millions of objects in their buckets
How do people deal with this.
Customer: my trial is finished, and I dont have a bank card?
What do I do say post me the money every month send it by pigeon mail?5
I am building a live streaming app.
General public: why don't you use periscope
I am building a photo sharing app
General public: why don't you use Instagram
I am building a social network
General public: why don't you use Facebook
I am build a audio app
Genera public: why don't you use sound cloud
Developer: WHY DONT YOU ALL FUCK OFF I am building it anyway dickhead7
Support: can you please let me know what version of the software you are using?
Customer: I am using version 2.1 and 2.2
Q: I don't understand why things break when they get updated.
Single Dev because I don't have fucking loads of money to spend on a Q&A team!!!! And it's FUCKING free.1
Customer: I literally don't want to do anything make it work.
Support: here is a good video tutorial to get you started
Customer: I don't want to invest anytime in getting anything to work, just make it work.
Arrrrrggggg just use another service2