Vim.
Three letters that strike fear in the hearts of millions.

HELLO WORLD! ITS FIRST DAY OF LEARNING HTML😊

YOU DO NOT TOUCH ANOTHER DEVS STRESS BALL!

Why am I a horrible person for following standard linting and thus not using semicolon in my JavaScript code? I write Golang and Elixir which they don't have them and thus it is for me more natural to not have them in JS as well.

"What's important is not simplicity or complexity, but how you bridge the two." - Larry Wall

Ok it seems they already refuse me the job... I can't even put my last name! Wtf

Company grows a 30% and internet starts getting slow.
Solution from company: Block half of common websites

Triggered

"One of the best programming skills you can have is knowing when to walk away for awhile." - Oscar Godson

Frontend Validations

Hot fix of a production bug!

Client: When I hit the “Subscribe” button, it gives me an error.
Me: What’s the error message?
Client: The email field is required.
Me: Have you entered your email before hitting the “Subscribe” button.
Client: Oh, I have enter my email address?
Me: Yes

English is a very complicated language.

Dear client, if you can't be bothered to check more than two data points during several test imports, why are you surprised your production import has errors in the other 10k+ data points? We told you to check thoroughly, and you swore it was fine. But great now I get to unfuck production while you're mad you can't go live yet.

My university organised a series of shitty seminars and due to shortage of registration it was going to be made mandatory. Registration was a simple google form without sign in, so i wrote a python script and filled the google form with characters of Game of Thrones , Breaking bad and Narcos series. Now the seminar is cancelled.

That horrible feeling that you're holding the team back as a junior dev.

What took me two days of struggle, it took the senior dev a glance to solve the issue.

Literately took them less than 10seconds to complete the task which I spent two days both at work and after work of debugging and research to try and solve.

Why are they paying me to work here.

Like I said, teamwork is my top priority.

Coworker: According to science, people who work with math or computers are least likely to get divorced.

Me: Well that's because they're least likely to get married.

Coworker: ...In order to participate in the study you had to be married at least once

Me: It was a joke, man!

Coworker: Well it wasn't a funny one!

Me: ...it was to me...

Why the fuck am I trying to learn vim 😭 This is just brutal.

When your friend do all the work and you're just sit beside him commenting on the UI like a fashion critic.

No, it's not a bug. It's an undocumented features.

When you sit down to work on a project and you just can't figure it out. Next thing you know it's 3am, so you clamber into bed. Nodding off, nice and cosy when suddenly: What's that brain? You've figured it out?

Raise your hand if you agree