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It was between me and another guy.
I fucking won!
I GOT THE FUCKING JOB!!
I'll be a junior Linux Support Engineer in a week or so!
OMG OMG YAYAYAYAYAY102 -
Boss: I need you to start on this new project, how long will it take?
Me: well, hard to say with no specs whatsoever...
Boss: just your best guess
Me: 4 to 6 month I guess?
Boss: so 3 months it is. When can you start?
Me: no specs, sir...and I said 4 to 6
Boss: the specs are almost ready, I know you can simplify it
Me: ...
Boss: just start with the basic infrastructure already
(4 months later)
Boss: here you are the specs, they might change a little in behaviour and design, but all the main stuff is here
(Hands me a A3 with a total of 21 pictures in InDesign)
Me: o....Kay. what happens when I click here?
Boss: oh, we should still talk about the app workflow, I'll get you updated
(2 weeks and 16 total rewrites of the "specs" later)
Boss: you told me it was a 2 months job, why aren't you finished yet? We must deploy in 3 weeks!
Me: ...34 -
My girlfriend is learning python and she figured out how to change her environment to dark mode. I'm so proud of her.
13 -
Meanwhile, in some college in India, when professors try their best to make an interesting question paper.
Read the last 2 instructions
36 -
Got a great boss!!;
Me: Hey, do we have a corporate GitHub account?
Boss: *excitedly* do we need it? We'll get it!
Me: uhh, yeah, we need it 😉
Don't care he doesn't know what it is, got his trust to get all the right tools!14 -
I have upgraded my graphics from medium to high. And also set anti aliasing to the highest and now everything seems beautiful.
16 -
My wife: Stickers?? Why the hell you got stickers, from who?
Me: From devRant, I told you about that cool community of devs some days ago...
She: NEEEEERRRRRD!
I take it as a compliment 😂
6 -
Joker: If you are good at something don’t do it for free
Me: (thinking) How much shall I charge to introduce bugs into someone’s code? 🤣3 -
Okay, time to delete my old Skype account
1. Enter Skype name
2. Reset password
3. Captcha
4. Complete email
5. Enter email code
6. You are logged in now, please complete your profile first
7. Enter birth date
8. Add your phone number or second email address
9. Create new outlook mail
10. Got access to profile settings
11. Click on delete profile
12. Stop please first verify your email again
13. Enter code
14. Check all checkboxes that I am really sure to want it deleted
15. Click delete button
Fuck hell and that all again for my second account7 -
Javascript developer interview
One of the RH interviewers started asking about myself, personal information, etc..
He : well, let me introduce you our tech lead, he will make you some question about JS
Me : alright
Tech Lead : ummm, do you know javascript?
Me : yes..?
Tech Lead : ok, cool. We will call you.
I got the job..11 -
Earlier today, after helping a team mate with an issue, she ask:
"How come you already know the issue even though that's not your code?"
4 -
When I hear sales guy using technical terms in the wrong context while doing his sales pitch to a client...
2 -
Well I ended my interviews-adventure finally.
Applied for three companies:
- KindOfBigCompany
- BiggestCompany
- BiggestCompany2
I failed in the last two. But got the job in the first one.
The bittersweet sensation is that I got the job in the first one first and then got rejected by the other two so my last feeling is the rejection one. And I really liked BiggestCompany2.
BUT KindOfBigCompany is actually really cool and has a lot of benefits and also I'll earn much more than I currently am so I guess Happy Ending after all :D5 -
Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.2 -
My biggest tip to new developers? Embrace your ignorance, don't be embarrassed by it. Let it inspire you to learn as much as you can, let it humble you into asking questions when you're stuck, let it prepare you to change within an industry that is anything but static. Admitting you don't know something isn't a weakness, it's an opportunity 😃6
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Went to an interview for the position ‘PHP Web Developer’. Interviewer scans through my CV for 2mins and then starts the interview.
Interviewer: Do you know Java?
Me: I know Java but I don’t have any professional experience
Interviewer: Do you know Hadoop?
Me: No. I’ve never worked on it
Interviewer: Our company works on Hadoop hence you should be able to work on that after joining.
Me: I thought this is a PHP web dev position.
Interviewer: Of course. But you will have work on various other things too!
Me: I don’t think I want to become jack of all trades. Thanks for the opportunity!
I got up and left the interview...7 -
Brother of my friend came to me and asked me to teach him C as it was most important lesson in high school CS. I agreed and started with data types, conditional statements, loops and others that were mostly exam oriented. He was doing good. Then I thought of teaching him a life lesson and introduced him to pointers(questions about pointers are very rare in exams). As soon as I started the pointers, things got pretty bored and he went off topic and started talking about a girl he has crush on and told he wanted to know when her birthday was so that he could gift her something to be ahead of the crowd trying to impress her. I thought to help him out, afterall he's like my younger brother and told him I can help. Result of his previous exam were out then, providing symbol number on Examination Board's website would do the trick because it would return full data of students result which had birthday in it. I modified my previous script to fetch data of his school's result and pass the data to a file. They're together since last few months. He reminds me time to time that my code is what got them together.8
-
Me: I should try out Figma's vector tool
[30 minutes pass, this happened]
Pros: its nice
Cons: not as intuitive as Illustrator's or Inkscape's....
AND MUH GRIDS
17 -
Got fired.
Fuck
3 days on the job...
Told on the interview I didn't know the machine OS but I could learn in a few days...
Well they want someone with experience on that machines I don't know...
It's like asking a Javascript programmer to work with Java...
Whatever...
There are more companies13 -
Where do I even begin?
You all know the story. I was handed this lovely out of date Django site and told to set up a development environment. This, with ZERO python or Django experience.
It has one document. Which was wrong. There was no indication of what versions of anything was correct. There was a network of 8 sites strapped together. There were three revisions of every single template stuffed into one massive folder.
Oh and did I mention, the database, static files (including media) and Django site were all on the same server with debug still active and using the development settings file.
I think I died during the process somewhere.
1 -
I got my new laptop and I have to say, I love the elegant and professional look of the matte aluminium ba...
just kidding, it's already covered in stickers...
13 -
Stupid tech guy: "You should use Windows, it's bettter"
Me: "No i quit Windows and use Linux"
At the end of the day he updates Windows and got a BSOD...
I laughed and walked off8 -
Installed Ubuntu Linux on my cousin's PC... Age 12... He starts earlier than me... :/
But I'm proud of him :)8 -
All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.
2 -
Just got my first IT job (I'm 19 y/o)
I am a C# programming teacher now :D for teens aged 15-18
I like it but I've had the chance to give the first lecture and there's this kid
Who is constantly interrupting
"Excuse me, programming is boring, when will you tell us how to break passwords"
"Excuse me, I have this neighbour I don't like, how do I put his printer on fire using code?"
"Excuse me, so we now know what classes are but can you tell us how to run fork bomb on system startup?"
afohsdofhidsfoidfsg
I suppose the kid will be becoming famous here over time
Also, out of rant, what do you wish your lecturers said to you when you were just getting started?17 -
I got laid off from my previous position as a Software Engineer at the end of June, and since then it was a struggle to find a new position. I have a good resume, about 4 years of professional dev experience and 5 years of experience in the tech industry all together, and great references.
As soon as I got laid off, I talked to my old manager at my previous company, and he said that he'd love to hire me back, but he just filled his last open spot.
In order to prepare, I had my resume reviewed by a specialist at the Department of Labor, and she said that it was one of the better resumes that she had seen.
There aren't a huge amount of dev jobs in my area, and I got a TON of recruiter emails. But they were all in other states, and I wasn't interested in moving.
I applied to all the remote and local positions I could find (the ones that I was qualified for,) and I just got a bunch of silence and denials from all my applications. I had a few interviews that went great, but of course, those companies decided to put the position on hold so they could use the budget for other things.
The silence and denials were really disconcerting, and make you think that something might be wrong with you or your interviewing abilities.
And then suddenly, as if the floodgates had opened, I started getting a ton of callbacks and interviews for both local and remote opportunities. I don't know if the end-of-year budget surpluses opened up more positions, but I was getting a lot of interest and it felt amazing.
Another dev position opened up at my previous company, and I got a great recommendation for that from my former manager and co-workers. I got a bunch of other interviews, and was moved onto the next rounds in most of them.
And finally, I got reached out to regarding a remote position I applied for a while ago, and the company was great about making the interview process quick and efficient. Within 2 weeks, I went from the screening call, to the tech call, and to the final call with the CTO. The CTO and I just hung out and talked about cars/boats/motorcycles for half the interview, and he was an awesome guy. AND THEN I GOT AN OFFER THE NEXT DAY!
The offer was originally for about the same amount as I made at my previous job, but I counteroffered up a good amount and they accepted my counteroffer!
It's a great company with offices all over the world, and they offer the option to travel to all those offices for visits if you want. So if you're working on a project with the France team and you think that it'd be easier to just work with them face-to-face, then the company will pay to fly you out to Paris for the week. Or you can work completely remotely. They don't mind either way.
I'm super excited to work with them and it feels great to be back in the job world.
Sorry about the long post, but I just wanted to tell my story and help encourage anybody out there who's going through the same thing right now.
Don't get discouraged, because you WILL find an awesome opportunity that's right for you. Get somebody to go over your resume and give you improvement recommendations. Brush up on your interviewing skills. Be sure to talk about all the projects you've worked on and how they positively impacted people and/or companies.
This is what I found interviewers responded the best to: Be sure to emphasize that you love learning new things and that you love passing along that knowledge to other people, and that your goal is to be an approachable and reliable source of knowledge for the company and to be as helpful as possible. It's important to be in a position that encourages both knowledge growth and knowledge sharing, and I think that companies really appreciate that mindset in a team member.
Moral of the story: YOU GOT THIS!16 -
Client: We need video chatting facility in our website
Me: Ok. But it will take more time and effort. It will cost you more too!
Client: Don't build from scratch. We use Skype in our company. Just embed in our website too!
Me: **facepalm**5 -
Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.4
-
I have a whatsapp group with my friends, none of which are techies. A while ago one of them was looking for a phone to buy, so he started looking at models, specs and all that, but got pretty confused and asked a pretty well-informed question to the group:
"Guys, what is that quad core thing?
And what is a RAM? Is it something like the processor of the phone or what? "
OK, pretty typical stuff up until this point. The guy knows nothing about this sort of things, I wouldn't criticize him or insult him or anything like that. No, that's not the problem. The problem is the person that responded to him. This... This melted my brain so much I will never forget:
"Don't worry about that, you only have to look at how many gigahertz does the processor run at. Don't worry about the number of cores or ram. The GHz are the result of the amount of ram and cores, so the more the gigahertz, the better the phone."
PD: "Also take a look at how many megapixels does the camera have if you want to take photos".
Some people just talk out of their ass and pretend like they're experts on any topic they've read about for 5 minutes on the Internet7 -
I was given a work to refactor one of my colleagues code and found that there was a variable named 'anal'. I was quite surprised seeing it as the colleague was a soft spoken and well behaved guy in office. After scratching my head for 15mins I came to know that he was storing analytics data in that variable. Hence the name! :-D9
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What is this, windows?? how am i, the software publisher, supposed to change this if you don't bother to give a proper fucking error? whoever created this, i hope you die choking on a goat's intestines
13 -
Everyone has those ideas they thought of and were like, 'that would be rad!' but couldn't execute because of an array of reasons.
Well, two weeks ago I got approached by some people who had *thatmyidea* and were willing to pay me and any devs of my choice, to build it.
We've finished getting requirements and now I'm getting paid to work with devs I love, on a project I love!2 -
Warning: long read....
I got a call this morning from a client who was panicking about not being able to login to his web panel.
So I went to the web panel and tried to login and was just redirected back to the login page. No errors or anything (at least visible on the page). Went looking for an error_log file and found it.
It turns out there was an error was showing: Disk quota exceeded.
So I went into the cPanel and checked, he used about 16GB out of 100GB and that got me confused. So I looked around and found out he was using about 510000/500000 inodes.
Went looking trough FTP to see where he has so many files and try and remove some.
Well it turns out that there were about 7 injected websites (warez, online casino, affiliate one etc) and a full hacking web panel on his FTP. After detailed analysis some who actually built the site (I just maintain some parts) made an upload form available to public with any checks on it. Meaning anyone could upload whatever they wanted and the form would allow it.
The worst part is that the client is not allowing us to secure the form with some sort of login or remove it completely (the best option) as it is not really needed but he uses it to upload some pdf catalogs or something.
TL; DR;
Old programmer created an upload form that was accessible to anyone on the web without adding any security or check as to see what kind of files was getting uploaded. Which lead to having maximum number on inodes used on server and client being unable to login.
Side note:
And ofc I had to go and fix the mess behind him again, even though he stopped working a long time ago and I started just recently and have been having nightmares of this project.2 -
When I was a kid I used to spend a lot of time using computers: when I was 4 y/o my aunt used to go for me at school and she took care of me (and sometimes my brother) while my parents were at work, she's a graphic designer so she had a Mac or something like that (that was in 2002 and it was an old model) and to not annoy her she putted random music videos there (also the reason why I have the music taste that I have); when I was 6 or 7 y/o my dad was fired and my mom got a job in the capital city but my parents didn't wanted to moved because they thought that that could somehow affect me and my brother in a negative way so without having my mom around I could do whatever I wanted so after school I used the computer all the time; this continued 4 years and I started to be curious about how the computer that I always was using worked; when I was 11 y/o my parent bought me a notebook and I started to investigate about computers but then I read something about html and I really wanted to know what it was; when I was 12 y/o my parents changed me to other school (I was starting what in US may be junior high) and all the students had to chose a workshop for each year so I chose graphic design and was very disappointed because we did nothing at class, except for that when the teacher decided to teach us html and I really wanted to know I hoped that the rest of the year she kept doing it but it was just one class and then she told us to use wix.com... But I never stoped asking "how do computers work?" so for what can be considered in US high school I decided to apply for one with technological careers, specifically computer sciences and I was accepted. It is an 8 semesters career (a normal high school here is only 6 semesters) but I thought it was worth it. On 2nd semester I learned to write "programs" with pseudo code and I loved to do it, I made a lot of things with that limited tool... :") Then, in 3rd grade I was introduced to C and since that day I'm definitely not the same. It's been 2 years now and I it's really beautiful to remember that I'm who I'm thanks to the little girl that never stoped asking questions. :')2
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Found out that the company I'm currently working, gave me only 6 mandatory holidays for this calendar year. When I asked my boss why is it too low, he got so furious as if I asked him to donate his kidney!10
-
That would be the time when i got fired from my last job. Hosting company, it had lots of good stuff and bonusses, coworkers were great, i was doing really important stuff when suddenly, i got fired and replaced... 'You have a too strong personality, sometimes you're just too outspoken'... At hearing those words, i felt very sad. Took a few bottles of champagne from the fridge at work (they had those apparently a year already, nobody touched them)... I left the building, together with two coworkers who became friends, drank the two bottles of champagne... i was crying... Because i got smacked in the face due to my personality. Admitted i am an extravert, and i do dare to talk back when it's needed, always polite, but ensuring i was not agreeing. Still i did my job pretty well. I was practically the only one that was multi-lingual!
After that i became a freelancer. It was a good start, a lesser good intermission, but next month i am starting at a goverment department for long term, so future is looking good.4 -
Tl;Dr: Client-side validated online test
Some stupid questions in an online test.
Not all of them were coding questions, but all (yes ALL) were client-side validated and to solve the tasks all I had to do was to copy one array into another and set the time I needed for that task to a legit number.
Well at least it was an online test that doesn't required 3hours.2 -
For some reason my manager freaked out after her non developer husband told her that each of the web pages for our main service would take months to build. Shit man its just static content with some animations here and there. It is a total of 15 pages and this dude estimated that I (as in yours truly) would only be able to do 2 per month. Bato stfu. Stick to banking (hopefully your time estimates don't suck ass there) and let me woo your woman with my frontend godspeed.
So what did I do?
Simple, asked her to show me one of the design models she already created on photoshop. Saved that thing to my computer and coded it at home. In 2 hours (It was originally one but my dumbass gor tab trigger happy with rm rf autocomplete so I had to do it again...fking dumb) and showed it to her this morning.
Eat a dick dude. The woman is already going apeshit over all the other shit we have to do plus working on her masters and attentind 100+ pointless meetings a day whilst still being able to be the best fucking manager I've ever had. I really don't need her freaking the fuck out over your dumbfuck estimates. Why in the wholy fucking world she listened to your dumbass is beyond me, probably stress made her freak out.
Its cool b.....I got it under control.
Fucking chill woman damn.
**drops mic2 -
If programmers became musicians we would see
- Wake me up when my build ends, 21 cores, Boulevard of broken CI pipelines by Blue Screen Day
- Smoke from my cabinet by Deep For-Loop
- This is how you debug me by Loopback
- Post-release rhapsody by debug queen
- Another bug in the code by Programmer Floyd
- Smells like bad code by Coders from Botswana
- A place for my code, Cure for the bug by Likin to code at dark
etc etc..5 -
Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.6
-
> creates new PR for open source project
> runs tests locally before pushing
> pushes
> waits 8h (not kidding) for appveyor checks to complete
> tests failed
MOTHERF- -
This gem of a game. Partly cause i'm a contributor, partly cause i'm a space junkie.
Is this advertising? maybe.
Am i in love? definitely.
8 -
Coworker: I've got an error, can't figure it out...
Me: Send error
Coworker: NullPointerException
Me: fml
Sr. my balls.1 -
"Linux is shit because nothing works on my new DOM 2017/2018 laptop!"
Yes it's true that nothing will work if you put your finking ubuntu 14.04 installation with a fucking old 3.13 kernel in your new Laptop!
Update. Your. Fucking. System.6 -
I dont even know what gradle is but based purely off of the rants on here I'm never going to use it.4
-
I miss cigarettes.
Sometimes I am dying for a smoke.
This would happen to you after dealing with the web services of 2 campuses. Should have never stopped smoking eh?
Fuck12 -
Do you know this?
You are the small guy, you are dancing the whole evening with a girl and then a big asshole comes around, h
Judges you and want to be better that you?
Than je comes and insult you?
Damn that's the moment, when self defense save your life. :)
He tried to punch me, but then underrated my skills 😌
Ohhh man I love karma😌🤗7 -
Z2: 3GB RAM
Z3: 3GB RAM
Z3+: 3GB RAM
Z4v: 3GB RAM
Z5: 3GB RAM
Z5 "Premium": 3GB RAM
X: 3GB RAM
X "Performance": 3GB RAM
ZX: 3GB RAM
Sony.. Alright...3 -
One shitty thing about working in a Japanese company is that they make you write personal goals/targets (目標). These goals they expect you to achieve don't actually relate to your work most of the time and it's not about personal growth, but more about what you did to improve the company.
Another thing is their expectations that you can achieve all this within a year on top of your work is kind of unrealistic. Plus even if you achieve such goals, it does not equate to good performance review and/or salary increases.10 -
So, I was in the middle of a rant about how disorganized maintenance is this weekend, but husband said he might have to go to the ER for a headache that got worse after he passed out in formation and no one caught him.
Suddenly, I don't give a fuck about work. I want to be on a plane to him to be there in case the ibuprofen doesn't work and it's more serious than he thinks. He's less than a week from graduation. I just need him to come home so I can take care of him.3 -
Hey guys.
Sorry for the absence.
So... Lately I've been working in shifts, doing extra hours and stuff... And today, Saturday I went to work for nothing... My boss fucked me just to make me go to work, when there isn't much work to be done...
Btw, I have a burn out for more than two years because I had to work and study and sleep for 4 hours a night, for months.... (check my profile for more info).
Today I had enough
Almost got killed while driving... felt asleep.
I'm saturated.
Monday I'll talk to the owner of the company
and If I don't like what I ear I'm making several complaints:
- One for the organization that protects workers
- One for the work court (we have that In Portugal)
- And one criminal complaint... After all they fucked my health, my life and are putting my life in danger just because...
Lets see how it goes...
Better part... If I make any of the complaints above they can't fire me, make me work overtime or in unpaid shifts...
Oh, and someone else also made a complaint recently... Governement oficials spent two days this week checking the company accounts and calling workers for confidencial intervews...
So, I guess It's the perfect time to drop the bomb on them.10 -
Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.2 -
When you push seemingly harmless untested code to production server which breaks the whole application...
2 -
This just came in the mail. Apparently TurboTax was bought by AOL...
I don't even remember the last time I had a computer, work or personal, that had a CD drive in it
6 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall, from time to time look at your old code, introspect and improve!
-
Today might be one of the best days of my life. Just got word back from an interview I had Monday last week that I got the internship. The one position I really wanted. So fucking excited I can't even express it!1
-
Conclusion for this week:
Arrrgggh I worked so fucking long...
Thanks EU, FUCK ARTICLE 13,
FUCK EU, FUCK POLITICIANS, FUCK ALL!
PYTHON WHY THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, HOW AND WHY?!??
FUCKFUCKFUCK
Have I missed something?6 -
Sooo...
Got Fired...
By the same fucking company who is responsible for my burn out.
Should I be Happy or Sad? No matter how I loved the company I can only expect more abuses... On the other hand, If I made a few complaints, I couldn't get fired now...
Anyhow...
This weekend (can't remember the day, It was the day I took two victans, 20's beers and the same join I would smoke in a whole week ... (It worked, so...) I posted lots of really bad shit on facebook about the company... true Shit, but you know... Truth doesn't matter.
Today got a letter ending my contract on the term of the current one... less than one month from now.
So.... Lets See...
At least this pushes the time I have to start making Apps to get some money.
Just lacking the energy and will...5 -
Just about to make a presentation for a group of highly experienced devs... i got my masters degree 8 months ago, so im a rookie in comparison... wish me luck!11
-
Why are all the feminists silent who support equality between genders regarding the Jeff Bezos case? They should suggest her to be independent and not take her husbands assets right? 🤔🤔21
-
I dread the day that Slack has a “... has read this message 2 seconds ago” feature. Please Slack, continue letting me pretend I haven’t seen that message that I don’t want to reply to.2
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I just saw the equalizer 2 at the cinema and about half way through there is a phone with "military grade encryption" on it. We see the phone screen showing the encryption and what is it? Freaking JQuery!3
-
Alright lads here is the thing, have not been posting anything other than replies to things cuz I have been busy being miserable at school and dealing with work stuff.
Our manager left us back in February. Because she was leaving I decided that I wanted to try a different path and went on to become a programmer analyst for my institution, if anything I knew that it was going to be pretty boring work, but it came with nice monetary compensation and a foot in the door for other data science related jobs in the future. Thing is, the department head asked me to stay in the web technologies department because we had a lack of people there and hiring is hard as shit, we do not do remote jobs since our work usually requires a level of discretion and security. Thus I have been working in the web tech department since she left albeit with a different title since I aced the interview for the analyst position and the team there were more than happy to have me. I have done very few things for them, some reports here and there and mostly working directly with the DBA in some projects. One migration project would have costed my institution a total of 58k and we managed to save the cost by building the migration software ourselves.....honestly it was a fucking cake walk, if you had any doubts about the shaddyness of enterprise level applications regarding selling overpriced shit with different levels of complexity, keep them, enterprise is shaddy af indeed. But I digress.
I wrote the specification for the manager position along the previous manager, we had decided that the next candidate needed to be strong with development knowledge as well as other things as to properly understand and manage a software team, we made the academic requirement(fuck you, yes we did ask for academic requirements) to be either in the Computer Science/software engineering area or at least on the Business Administration side. We were willing to consider BA holders in exchange for having knowledge of the development process of different products and a complete understanding of what developers go through. NOT ONE SINGLE motherfucker was able to satisfy this, some of them were idiots that I knew from before that had ABSOLUTELY no business even considering applying to the position, the courage it took for some of these assholes to apply would have hurt their mothers, their God if they had one, and their country, they were just that fucking bad in their jobs as well as being overall shit people.
Then we had 1 candidate actually fall through the cracks enough to get an interview. My dude here was lying out of his ass through the interview process. According to him he had "lots of Laravel experience and experience managing Laravel projects" and mentioned repeatedly how it would be a technology that we should consider for our products. I was to interview him alongside the vice president of our institution due to the head of my department and the rest of the managers for I.T being on vacation leave all at the same bloody time.
Backstory before the interview:
Whilst I was going over the interview questions with the vice president literally offered me the job instead. I replied with honesty, reflecting how I did not originally wanted him but feeling that our institution was ready to settle on any candidate due to the lack of potentials. He was happy to do it since apparently both him and the HOD were expecting me to step up sooner or later. I was floored.
Regardless, out of kindness he wanted to go through the interview.
So, going back to the interview. As soon as the person in question referenced the framework I started to ask him about it, just simple questions, the first was "what are your thoughts on the Eloquent ORM? I am not too fond of it and want to know what you as a full time laravel dev think of it"
his reply: "I am sorry I am not too familiar with it, I don't know what that is" <--- I appreciated his honesty in this but thought it funny that someone would say that he was a Laravel developer whilst not knowing what an ORM was since you can't really get away from using it on the initial stages of learning about Laravel, maybe if one wanted to go through the hurdle of switching to something like doctrine...but even then, it was....odd.
So I met with the hod when he came back, he was stoked at the prospect of having me become the manager and I happily accepted the position. It will be hell, but I don't even need to hit the ground running since I have been the face of the department since ages. My team were ecstatic about it since we are all close friends and they have been following my directions without complaints(but the ocational eat a dick puto) for some time, we work well together and we are happy to finally have someone to stop the constant barrage that comes from people taking advantage of a missing manager.
Its gonna get good, its gonna get fun, and i am getting to see how shit goes.7 -
This happened 3 years ago in my previous company. It was a small start up company and we worked on PHP stack. One of the its ex-founders had written Windows Mobile App which now had to be upgraded with new features. So we hired this new dot net guy. I always thought dot net guys were ELITE coders and was excited to see how they work.
While I played Xbox and had fun, our dot net guy stuck to his workstation furiously working. My boss who was casually strolling out of his office for a stretch saw dot net guy working hard and suggested we all developers should take him as an example.
20 days went by and each day the dot net guy did the same. He came, he silently worked on his workstation, he left in the evening. In those 20 days my boss asked twice to the dot net guy if he has finished features he was assigned but he said he did not. After a month when he said the same negative answer and had nothing to show for the work he has done he was fired.
I was so curious to see what code that ELITE coder had written for a month but could not deliver a feature(Maybe some error he could not fix?). So I open the code repo on which he worked and I see 30 commits from that guy to it. He had made a single commit each day(Fair enough he wants to commit everday before leaving). It was time to check his commit diffs to see his ELITE code. What do I find? In every fucking commit he either added a blank line to the DocBlock or removed the same. Nothing less nothing more! So much for the hyped not-so-ELITE dot net guy...1 -
These days programming has boiled down to how optimally can you find solution to your problem using search tools!2
-
Programming commandment: Thou shall not commit code snippet copied from StackOverflow without adding a comment to help future coder brethren!
-
Colleague: We need to deliver it today so let's hardcode some values in the code to make it work
Me: Ok you do it. I don't even want to see it!
3 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall blame all bad code on thy comrade who has bequeathed your company!2
-
Sorry, is TL, but humbly think is worth to read.
Last Friday:
Coworker: Hey, our mail is being redirected to our client's spam folder. What did you do?
Me: Sorry, but I have no control over that.
Boss: I happened to me also. Something is wrong with our mail server.
Me: I'll check, but this is really out of my control.
Rushed to my station... domain blacklist check...Fuuuuuuuu! We been blacklisted! What in the fucking damn hell happened?????!!!
Mail server log check....Mmmm...WTF is this shit?
Devilish grin in my face....muahahahaaa! Your ass is MINE!
So, my "I know everything" new coworker ( https://www.devrant.io/rants/193238 ) used his account to send over 6300 messages a couple of times over a period of 4 hours. By our boss request we have no limit on our servers...
Gotcha! I'm going to get your ass fired!
(BTW: The pic is Gotcha the Cockatoo)
4 -
This summer, i will have all the time in the world. I will be finally free (as in, alone at home). And, most importantly, i will have a months old kitten to take care of.
I'm so excited.13 -
//How To Don't Get Spoilers
<?php
$newGoTEp;
$seen;
do {
turnOffInternet();
} while ($newGoTEp == true && seen == false);
?>
😂😂😂2 -
Rant!
Global mailing list:
... Answer this mail only if you are working on a project for this specific client. (also stating to answer only to the person that wrote this notification)
Literally everyone:
*reply-all* I am not working on any projects for this client. Please remove me from this mailing list!
The email flood went on for several hours and this isn't the first time this has happened.
What the fuck is wrong with people? Just ignore it and don‘t answer if it does not concern you!5 -
I fucking hate having to name something.
I mean it should be short, easy to memorize and sum up the project.
Fuck it... Proto0 it is5 -
Reducing API access to third party apps seems like a fucking short sighted move, Twitter.
Presumably given up on innovating on the platform and decided to milk what you have.
Doesn't excite me about your future.5 -
I tried so hard and debugged so far
But in the end it didn't even matter
As I rewrote function call to loose it all!1 -
just bought (rented) my first dedicated server, for flipping 10€/month. let's see how it goes! boy, am i excited for my new toy...5
-
Today morning my sales manager calls me and tells there is a bug in one of the integration module and he tells the client has called us yesterday pls come early to office today and fix it. I asked which end point they have issue, he replies I don't know. I don't know what is the bug where is the bug, but there is a bug when they send data to us, pls find and fix it before 11 am. The worst part of this is that integration module I never worked on and the person who developed it has left the company long before and there is no documentation. when I go to that folder I see many controllers and many end points. now how will I figure out the issue 😂 I don't even know the work flow of that integration. the bug reporter (my sales manager) don't even know at what end point what issue happened.1
-
So I'm a freelancer celebrating my second year at this one client (yes, times are good). When I first got to my current (not customer-facing) project, lots of "externals" (other freelancers) had come and gone, "internals" had been assigned and reassigned to and from this project and nobody knew exactly what was in the (angularjs) codebase.
One of my first
"quick win" assignments was to see if load times could be reduced. After some looking around it turned out someone had used moment.js (with locales, 67k gzipped) for some feature that had since been abandoned... and then accidentally dropped it into the source folder, checked it into source control (svn!), from whence it was happily packaged by the CI job and released every month.
Removing it reduced the pre-render javascript by about 40%. (also yes, that said "nobody knew exactly what was in the client-side codebase")16 -
Ffs. Am I sick or is it normal that after almost a year at current company, I still love it and have nothing to rant about? It makes me happy and sad at the same time that i have nothing to rant about and this is the only rant i can come up with5
-
I just realized that i'm the 3rd programmer on the male side of my family to work for the same company the same job! Is this a programmer lineage? 😂😂2
-
I finish sentences with semicolons.
I type 'exit' in whatsapp conversations when I'm done sending messages.
I tried to :wq from Google docs the other day.
And most importantly of all, coding got me into tech in general, made me switch to Linux, start a thousand personal projects at a time and is now the thing I dedicate most of my time to, both in and out of work. -
I have set up a raspberry pi and screwed it with some switches and buttons to the wall next to my bed, so I don't have pick the remote which lays on my shelf...
The pi handles the buttons and switches and sends infrared signals to TV, stereo and receiver ^^1 -
ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME, WINDOWS?
I finally give in and install your stupid ass update, and what happens? let's just skip the part where i sit around for 30 minutes because apparently it takes 30 fucking minutes to install 300MB - by stallman's underpants, that's 150KB per second!
and when windows FINALLY feels like it has finished fondling it's binary-balls, what is waiting for me?
about 10 stupid-ass data-consent notices straight from satans anus, more weird yes-or-maybe settings for cortana (bill gates' ex or whatever that is) which i don't even USE, my browser speed dial has been complemented by about 7 links to SHOPPING SITES and once i sort that mess out i get a notification that the german language pack has successfully been installed.
SUCK MY FUCKING D*CK MICROSOFT, the ONLY thing i want to do with that language pack is SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. i can't even uninstall that moronic piece of shit. FUCK YOU.2 -
Free advise to to all the goal keepers at the Russia world cup2018; don't commit too soon!, remember, you're in production...
-
Checking out a project on GitHub:
> Using advanced condition-based AI logic, Compactor can skip over files that have been previously found to be incompressible, making re-running Compactor on a previously compressed folder much quicker.
> (Yes, it's an if statement and a trivial hash database, hush)
2 -
Spent my afternoon looking after the reason why a value manually set kept being overriden.
Put a die() every possible place it could happen. Every. Single. Place.
No die() got triggered.
Death sounds so sweet.1 -
Meme quoting one of our employees who sent in a ticket asking if something was a "phishing technique without the use of email."
-
A coder and a non-coder were travelling on a boat together. Due to some reason there was a hole in that boat and it started to drown. Non-coder survived but coder didn't. Why? Coder thought it was just another loop hole which he could fix using his laptop. So much for his confidence!3
-
This day sucks, i cant even code or learn on any tutorial ,my brain just wants to know who will sit on the iron throne.3
-
Mention some supernatural powers that only Devs can master upon!
.
.
Can't think of any??
let me tell you mine's,
I can easily determine the interests and how creative my colleagues are just by looking at their desktops... 😎☺😂 Isn't it cool?4 -
That feeling when you're the only one of your team sitting at your desk and you cannot shake of that nagging doubt:
Did I miss a meeting?1 -
Worst interview was when I attended interview for the position of PHP and the interviewer started grinding me with C++ questions starting with STLs. Could not answer most of them, interviewer said to get my act together and try again after 3 months. Nope not gonna happen!
-
I was an introvert while growing up hence I found interacting with non-living things easier. When I was 11 i.e. like 17 years I told my parents to enroll me into computer classes. They didn't see much of a future in it so they refused. I fought hard and finally they agreed. Hence started my journey with computers.
First week all students were allowed to explore the computer we were assigned and also were taught to play basic Windows 95 default games to make it interesting. It was all fun. Next week the teacher said he would be teaching us how to tell computer to do what we want i.e. programming. Hearing that I could make my computer do what I want excited me a lot. I felt I could finally communicate to a computer. This is how I learnt BASIC. I was so amazed I could do so many things like take input and do calculations etc. I decided I would do this kind of job in the future if it exists.
So now I am actually doing what I wanted to do when I started programming i.e. coding job!1 -
For those of you who can't wait for the next book of GoT to come out, I suggest you read the first few chapters that were generated by a neural network.
https://github.com/zackthoutt/...1 -
Parsing xml of a docx file manually, because libraries like apache poi dont provide the functionality you need...3
-
My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!3
-
I swear I will KILL the next one who comes to me to pimp up his excel sheet WITH FUCKING VBA -.-
This shit is so annoying.... Just because I started my apprenticeship and need to learn everything like a 3 year old kid...
Get me outta here!1 -
After a long year of going back to school for a masters. And working my ass off in networking events and internining. I can finally call myself a data scientist by job :D
-
You know your day is gonna be bad when it's Monday and you are told to work on a badly written legacy flash application!
-
When an intern gives me suggestions on technology stack to use for the new application I'm building...
4 -
I started fully exploring different aspects of tech in a middle school technology class where the teacher gave me a good grade as long as I did something that could be useful or interesting. I learned how to design webpages by playing with inspect element, and then decided to make my own with Notepad. One of my friends showed me how to use Sublime Text, and I found that I loved programming. Other things I did in there included using two desktops with NIC's wired directly to each other with an old version of Synergy and a VNC server, and at one point, I built a server node out of old dell Optiplex desktops the school had piled in a storage room.
Last year in high school, I took a class on VB.net and made some money afterwards by freelance refreshing legacy spaghetti, and got burned pretty badly by a person offering $25,000 for a major POS to backend CMS integration rewrite. The person told me that I had finished second, and that another dev had gotten the reward, but that he liked my code. A few days later, I was notified through a *cough*very convoluted*cough* system of mine by a trigger that ran once during startup in a production environment and reported the version number as well as a few other bits, and I was able to see that *cough*someone*cough* had been using my code. I stopped programming for at least six months straight because I didn't want to go back.
This year in high school, I'm taking the engineering class I didn't get into last year, and I realized that Autodesk Inventor supports VBA. I got back into programming with a lot of copy-paste and click-once "installers" to get my modelling assignments done faster than my classmates. Last week, one of my friends asked me to help him fix his VB program, which I did, and now I'm hooked again.
I've always been an engineer at heart, but now I'm conflicted with going into I.T., mechanical or robotical engineering, or being a software developer.
A little long, but that's how I got to where I am now. (I still detest those who take advantage of defenseless programmers. There's a special place for them.)7 -
The ability to automate my day, create my own apps and modify open source ones to fit with my conditions :)
-
Ouuu today I experienced how web-devs must feel...
Task: create a form to answer questions with yes/no and a database behind it to collect stats.
So login to phpmyadmin
1. Wrong password got error message
2. No error message, still at login screen, but in address I see a token
3. There must be something wrong
4. Reinstalled phpmyadmin and mysql-server several times, wasted one hour on it - still stuck at login screen
5. Tried different browser and it fucking works!
6. Realized that cleaning cache fixed it...1 -
That sinking feeling when you realize you’ve been running all you got commands in the wrong repo. 😐 I can fix it but DAMN IT2
-
I just finished this app I was working on, an app which I was supposed to be working on with a friend who never committed. It pisses me off that he didn't put in any input. We were supposed to work on different parts of the app. I had everything planned out, on how to make a certain function. But right now I'm just happy because I have no idea how I got it to work without the functions and at this stage I don't wanna check ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1
-
name your db nodes after GoT characters, to remind yourself you shouldn't give a shit when they die.
-
!rant
So I got bored and decided to drop some Easter egg cats into Google trouble reports because why not? Well I sent one off on regular Google Allo and it ran this search. None of my other cats did anything like this even with other black cats. Any ideas?
2 -
15 years back when I was in my highschool I was taught HTML. I created a 3x3 table of images with border without using any CSS while other kids were looking around confused what to do. Opened the same in IE and felt I was a professional web developer. Simpler times!1
-
"Whenever there is a decline in quality of code and rise of bugs and errors oh dear coder, I manifest to show the path of bug and error free coding" said code-god
- Chapter 1 Verse 1, Code Gita -
I got an instruction to follow exactly what the client wants with the design i have made because they are also a “designer” and guess what
A nissan juke just got transformed into fucking fiat multipla
As long the client happy i must deal with it even it against my will
So sad and mad looking my design becoming something else
Thankfully there’s DevRant to relieve this emotion 🤣 -
I spent 2 weeks at work building a dashbord (not a feature but...) wich provided an overview of projects and tasks managed in redmine (Kanban tool) by using its API. After i finished it we started using it till my boss found out that it was completly "useless" for him - it had all the features he asked for! -.- ...
three days later the redmine server crashed and we changed the provider, nobody missed my dashboard and so it got abandoned :( sometimes i miss it, it looked fancy af and stuff!!
But at least i learned a lot of js and API stuff. I was verry new to js back then :)
Boss asked -> I deliver -> and *pooff* down the river it goes. seems like my tasks have not changed much since then. -
be me, just casually watching a cs:go fragmovie. there's always 10 seconds of ads before those, so i use the time to sip some coffee. at that second, i hear the following words..
"The first ever blockchain gaming marketplace in history"
...now i need to clean my keyboard. -
qt compilation 2: electric boogaloo.
$ ./configure [dozens of options]
< building qmake, blah blah, success blah blah, run make && make install, blah blah >
$ make -j 8
< works for 5 minutes, then hits an error without telling me what the error is >
$ make -j 8
< works for 5 minutes until the same error. this time i notice it rm's a directory right before using it >
$ make # multithreaded fuckery, perhaps?
< fails after 5 seconds with different error >
$ make -j 2
< same >
$ make clean # fuck it, clean up and try again
< fails after 2 minutes of cleaning >
The C/C++ infrastructure. just everything about it. and i'm not even using dependencies here.2 -
!rant but still devrelated
I will add this in one of our major projects. I want to see who gets it man :( i have to, for the sake of wesome stuff
If ( user.hasGhosts() ) {
return user.hasEverything();
}
Just gonna hide that shit somewhere.6 -
i'm afraid that having discovered the power of multithreading has made my code worse.
case in point: me has to calculate an unknown 3rd point of an equilateral triangle many, many times. however, me doesn't get the formula, so me goes ahead and loops over all possible coordinates until it finds the correct one.
yep, it's definitely gotten worse.2 -
watching GOT and silicon valley in the office has been my every Monday's schedule since past 10 weeks. no idea what I will do from next Monday! -.-"
-
Anyone else work at a company where the employees don't know the difference between a developer and a help desk person??3
-
Having fun looking at android developer struggling to replicate 'str_split()' function from PHP in Java :-D3
-
Fuck this fucking shit...
Be me, plan a trip to a festival with friends, vacation approved, get up at 3am to drive 9 hours from Germany to Italy, find a nice spot for our tent and yeah...
I was unloading stuff of my car and standing in range of the tailgate and get the shit smashed onto my head...
Yeah I'm a volunteer firefighter, so good at paramedics, so I applied a pressure bandage myself, because shit was bleeding all out of my head...
Then I got a ride with the ambulance to the hospital and now about a hour in the waiting room...
Please cross your fingers, that the X-ray that I'm waiting for shows no damages and that i can continue my festival...
What a happy first festival day...5 -
Finally did it!
Replaced my desktop pc (which I use for gaming) which had Windows 7 with Arch Linux! It was not hard because I already use it on my laptop.
OK it was a bit struggle with nvidia and cinnamon due to missing libraries I had to install which I don't know before.
But it is possible to play games on Arch?
Yes definitely!
CS:GO - works (native, steam)
League of Legends - works (wine)
World of Tanks - works (wine)
All I need is working (:2 -
started to rewrite one of my functional-but-horrible projects. after 2 hours i realize i'm starting to use the same kind of "if it works, great" style.
jesus, i need some sleep. -
to just do my shit, without working for anyone. really, I just want to dwell on my side projects forever.
-
After working at one internship: I have covered the basics of Development.
After trying to publish my own app: I know nothing. I'm Jon Snow of programming.
2 -
I will start my master in computer science at the end of 2018 and I am looking for a new Notebook that I can use for my studies.
I focus on machine learning/deep learning and I rather use a linux/unix based OS than windows.
The macbook pro 13“ or something similar of size would be my choice.
So I wanted to ask if anyone has any experience with apples macbook pro or some similar model of another manufacturer, which works well with linux distributions in this field?
My budget is about 2000$7 -
I always code when I have no motivation to do other things. I think it will change when I start working :/
-
Been searching for an offshore data server for at least 5 fucking hours. There's nothing worse than searching for decent low-end offers outside of europe.5
-
In an effort to learn any development I spent 3 days setting up a LAMP server. Now that I got working I have no idea what to do with it. Anyone have a personal server or ideas on what to do with one?10
-
Can someone suggest me a good, cheap phone with good battery?
I think at least 4000mAh and around 200€
My Touchscreen broke and I don't have enough money for a good flagship...8 -
!rant
Any links to start learning game server programming using C++? I know network programming using C# currently and built a game server emulator also. I want to start C++ network programming for windows now...8 -
mfw someone makes completely irrelevant OS-bashing comments in an issue that's barely related to OSs... someone tells him to fuck off... and then he posts a FUCKING PHARELL WILLIAMS VIDEO! ON GITHUB!
i'll go straight back to bed, bye. -
Calm down, all of you! I know that a lot of you hate Facebook, whatsapp, Snapchat and Co. And yes, WhatsApp's new status feature complete bullshit and just shows how anti competitive Facebook can be. But who cares? Don't use the feature if you do not like it. Texting didn't change in any way. Ignore the feature. There is probably other software out there that added stuff and you disliked. Did it make you stop using them? Probably not. You just ignored those. Deal with it :D and stop fucking ranting about it. Reading the same shit all over again after waking up. Frustrating as hell!3
-
@dfox Quick feature request. Checking for duplicate comment or rant and hiding them. On erratic connections impatient coders like me press submit button multiple times making duplicate posts!10
-
Manual EC2 instances + Elastic load balancer or Elastic beanstalk for a PHP 7 application? I might have some cron jobs to be run too...
-
To avoid PMs and bosses on devRant, login should be made using GitHub. And only accounts with code on them should be accepted. And not just forks.2
-
When a junior developer forks new feature branch from his old feature branch and not from develop branch causing merge conflicts later!1
-
I just felt like saying as I'm not sure how prevalent this is but the reason I got into computing and programming is essentially this, I want to change the world and make a better society and to quite frank I honestly believe that what you make and it's impact on people is far more important that your personal character5
-
So, I told the interviewer that my frontend skills are bad. He said that I should not worry as the tests where backend centered, good. Later, I got the job, now the interviewer, which happens to be the head of tech in the company I work for, has assigned me two tasks involving 99% of work on the frontend.
FFS, I've been searching on Internet and reading Kendo UI documentation for 4 hours to figure how to trigger the KendoGrid editable popup with populated data to enable the user to update such data. AAAAARGH!!!1 -
#Hacktoberfest is about to end, and soon devrant would be filled with rants of people showing off their shirts and stickers... yeah, I'll be one of them. :P2
-
Just found this glorious rant about a controversy I completely missed in 2016.
https://eev.ee/blog/2016/... -
I am planning to get either a new graphic card first or new CPU, RAM and Mainboard.
I need advice on what hardware I should upgrade first in my old pc, as I am not sure whether my CPU would be a bottle neck to a new graphics card.
Current Setup:
CPU: AMD FX 6200 (3,8GHz) 6 cores
RAM: 8Gb DDR3-Ram (1600MHz)
Graphics: Geforce 780 gtx
Mainboard: Asus M5A99FX PRO R2.0
Planned Setup:
CPU: AMD Ryzen 7 2700x
RAM: 16GB DDR4 3200
Graphics: Asus rog strix rtx 2070 OC
Mainboard: Gigabyte X470 Aorus Ultra Gaming
I use my Desktop mainly for gaming and some programming in machine learning, but for the latter I can still use my Company notebook which has enough resources.
So I‘d like to hear some opions on what to upgrade first (graphic card or rest) of someone who is more knowledgable in terms of hardware than me :)1 -
Anyone else having trouble with apt-get install in EC2 instance of region US-East-1? Seems it's too slow currently!
-
If A.I steals all dev jobs then I will become physicist and build time machine like in terminator movie ;-)
-
Need recommendation on which server side language/framework to use along with my new react native app.
Thanks3 -
Trying to read the description/usage for WP functions to figure out what's going on is like getting lost inside a maze...inside a maze.
I swear people write these descriptions for people who already know what the functions are and what they do. #UselessToMe -
Any good resources for geocoding (tutorials, books, websites, ...)?
Especially regarding open street maps involving python pandas, geopandas, GIS applications, etc... -
Got a bit of work done today, not the most but a lot more than I usually have been doing which is good.
I changed my theme from the default of VS Code (I do like it) back to my main squeeze Monokai, and it for some reason helped me focus more. Idk -
when you just want to set up a tiny automation and end up compiling a custom snap package for 3 hours...1
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