Being a web developer somedays makes me feel like:

Wow! Look at that super awesome thing these guys coded, and I'm just sitting here aligning divs and changing font colors.

!rant #happynews

It's a boy :D

1/7/17 - d/m/yy

Fancy dates 😎

Apparently a lot of people thinks that all WiFi has internet connection.

Friend: Dude, css is so cool and amazing. I love it

Me: Erm ye, okay...

Friend: I think, im gonna make a css program to save data to database. That would make it even cooler!

Me: ye, okay. Wait what?! Hahahahaha

Friend: ??? Why u laughing

My girlfriend saw me coding in XCode.
GF: What are you doing?
Me: Ahmm. Coding.
GF: *saw the colors in every line of code
GF: That's easy. You just need to follow the color pattern. Green, Blue, Red and Yellow.
Me:
Macbook:
XCode:
Charger:

BTW. She's a Preschool Teacher. Hahahaha

Our project is a legacy of all legacy projects. The developers imported the third-party libraries by copy-pasting the whole source codes into the project. Ohhhh yeahhh!!!

Fixing a parents iPhone, episode 1.

Problem: "Whatsapp is gone off my phone"

Debugging:

Me: *unlocks phone and sees whatsapp*, it's right here.

Mam: no, I no that I can't see my messages.

Me: ok, that is definitely not what "whatsapp is gone off my phone means".

*opens whatsapp*
*inside add contact screen*

App seems ok, your trying to add a contact?

Mam: that's a problem, whenever I open it I only see that page.

Me: *taps cancel button with shocked face*

Mam: omg there's my messages, how did you do that?

Me: ... ... ... I tapped the very easy to see, large cancel button in the top right hand corner.

Mam: but why was it opened there?

Me: *looks at opened message from unknown number*

If I was to hazard a guess, now stay with me on this one as it's a bit complex. I think ... I THINK ... you clicked the "add to contacts" button on the screen in front of you.

I am suspicious of one thing though.

Mam: what's that?

Me: how you managed to click the add contacts button, and when brought to the add contacts screen, you assume the app is broken.

Mam: oh will you **** off you sarcastic little ****. Thank you very much.

Me: no prob, 4 year computer science course put to great use.

Client: I said I wanted that text to be white. We talked about this. You have to do what I tell you.

Me: the text is white. The color code is #ffffff.

Client: well make it more white!

*Sigh*

My wife opens a document, writes her entire paper and uses the close ❌ button to save it.

I think I married an adrenaline junkie.

I'm busted... 🐎💨

Large corporation. CEO tells everyone to attend this mandatory meeting via the internet.
I work remotely. I can't log in, meeting is full. But our colleagues have made a parallel meeting just for us in the meantime, where I could hear them make fun of the meeting, which is basically the CEO showing some Powerpoint slides to a room with 10 people. Nobody can either see the slides (bad camera or connection) or hear the CEO (crap microphone). 1000+ people watching this "mandatory" meeting that lasted for an hour. Nobody had any idea what it was about in the end. Just slides and muffled voices.

I’ll tell you a DNS joke but be advised, it could take up to 24 hours for everyone to get it.

Sleep schedule : fucked 😮
Eating schedule : fucked 😓
Me : not getting fucked 😭

I made this amazing website. You guys should take a look at it. http://localhost:8080

That's a great bug

It blows.

But not much.

Here we go

This blew my mind earlier today. It can actually draw not only itself, but literally anything. For more info watch the numberphile video on this formula.

Big day today.
Three hours ago, we welcomed our new daughter to this world

I sang in front of the clients to demo an app for 30 seconds. It's a dating app that allow users to sing and record a song and send it to other person. It's a famous way of courting here in the Philippines.

That was my ridicolous and embarrassing meeting ever. Hahahaha

Linux : Born to Be Root
Windows : Born to Re Boot

Installing Nvidia drivers in Arch linux right now. Tell my family I love them.

My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.

Boy: I like you 😘
Girl: I have a boyfriend
Boy: sudo I like you
Girl: I like you too 😘

😂

One time I was in a meeting and the UX Director fell asleep (like he had done before) but this time did a little quiet snoring. I was cracking up. A few other people noticed but he was off to the side so most just tried not to wake him and eventually he woke up.

Guys guys guys!! I ran the windows network diagnostic tool... And it actually fixed the problem!

Just ordered my rubber duck. It'll be here in 2 to 3 business days...

Boss emailed me that I need to work again on Saturday and Sunday.
I replied with a resignation letter.

Thanks for the suggestion Google.

Exactly