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My wife opens a document, writes her entire paper and uses the close ❌ button to save it.
I think I married an adrenaline junkie.12 -
teacher gives a question in a test : can you save a word document as a pdf.
me :Yes
teacher :that is wrong
me : shows her how to do it..
teacher : "oh well "17 -
Dev: this task is done, can I put it in review and do something else?
Me: sure, of course.
Dev: cool, just be aware I'll make some changes to it later.
Me: ... wait, then it's not done.
Dev: no it is, I just need to re-read it and make some changes.
Me: yeah, so it will be done when those changes are made.
Dev: but I don't know what those changes are.
Me: ... I get that ... but ... ok I'm extremely confused. Why do you think it's done.
Dev: because I've written everything I need to and I'm happy with it.
Me: ok so why do you want to make changes.
Dev: I don't.
Me: ... ... ... ... you ... you are really not being clear. If you don't want to make changes, and you are happy with it, why are you planning on making changes later ... after marking the task as done.
Dev: well if I re-read it and see something I don't like, I would like to change it.
Me: ok, so re-read it as many times as you like and make as many changes as you like. But don't mark it as done until it is done.
Dev: but it is done.
Me: no it's not.
Dev: it is, look.
Me: ... yeah looks ok at a quick glance.
Dev: ok so I can mark it as done?
Me: are you going to make more changes?
Dev: yes.
Me: then no.
Dev: why?
Me: BECAUSE ITS NOT DONE.
Dev: ok maybe I'm not explaining it clearly.
Me: ... we can both agree on that. Ok so to summarise, we don't mark something as done until we have stopped touching it. We don't half finish something and say it's done and comeback to it later. We mark it as done when we are happy with i.....
Dev: but I am happ.....
Me: *raises hand* I repeat, if it's done, we lock it away and stop touching it. If someone reads it and complains, we can come back to it with a new ticket. But it's not done until we think we are ready to send it on.
Dev: I am ready to send it, I just may want to change it.
Me: ... ... ... ... ... due to a new policy implemented just now, we are only allowed to send 1 email to a person each week. So unfortunately we can only send on 1 copy. So when you have that 1 copy, let me know.
Dev: ok, let me re-read it a few more times then.
Me: there you go.32 -
Me, trying to create a LaTeX document: *googles "latex string comparison"*
Customer and boss walk in.
Google: *shows NSFW results*
I.. Let...- Let me explain, it's not what it looks like!14 -
When you suggest to use git but the answer you get is:
"Just write in a text document what you have changed ".
Oh dear God..16 -
I found this amazing repository on github and just had to share it.
https://github.com/danistefanovic/...
I've already built a document scanner.
There's enough tutorials to keep a dev busy for a lifetime 😄17 -
When you accidentally open the emulator when you already have 7 android studio projects, 20 opera tabs ,code::blocks,u torrent, sublimetext and a word document open
9 -
"I will create a very useful library and won't document it" - said every developer ever.
This fucking snapcraft is making me lose my goddamn mind.3 -
When a customer said that I shouldn't be working with web development since I couldn't put 3D animations in her PDF document.6
-
--- Save some time with Google's .new-Domains ---
A few days ago, Google announced their new '.new' domains.
By using them you can save plenty of time when creating new Docs, Sheets, Slides, Sites or Forms.
So instead of going to Google Drive and creating the document there, users can just input the corresponding URL into the browser!
Here are a few examples:
> 'doc.new' or 'docs.new' or 'documents.new' to create a new Google Docs document (https://doc.new/)
> 'sheet.new' or 'sheets.new' or 'spreadsheet.new' to create a new Google Spreadsheets document (https://sheet.new/)
> 'site.new' or 'sites.new' or 'website.new' to create a new Google Sites website (https://site.new/)
> 'slide.new' or 'slides.new' or 'deck.new' or 'presentation.new' to create a new Google Slides document (https://slide.new/)
> 'form.new' or 'forms.new' to create a new Google Forms form (https://form.new/)
This is also useful for creating special bookmarks in the browser!
34 -
a litte piece of javascript pinging the server every minute to prevent user being logged out
$(document).ready(function() {
setInterval(ping, 60000);
});6 -
Teacher: hey, your good with computer programming, right?
(Thinking I finally have a chance to prove myself programming wise.)
Me: yeah, Sure
(Trying not to blow my own trumpet)
Teacher: great, can you fix this word document for me?
FML4 -
My non coder friend thinks typing a 1000 line document and coding 1000 line software/app are perfectly equal things and deserves equal salary.20
-
"My wifi is low, can you speed it up?"
"Can you restore a document I deleted?"
"What? You're a programmer and can't even fix my washing machine?"
Brazil, but I think it's universal :/5 -
Had a friend who was forced to document his own code. He gave up after an hour of trying to figure out what methods 'somethingsomething()' and 'somethingsomething2()' did...3
-
When you're in Word and press CTRL+P to search for a segment in the document...
Or press CTRL+F5 on Sublime Text
Or press CTRL+S in the browser...
My brain can't handle this...2 -
PM emailed me a document from a customer to distribute it to the right people.
Me (in my head): WTF? You are the PM, that's your fucking job.
But I opened the document and read it. Some blah about requirements we discussed with the customer earlier. And the request to sign it as agreement on the requirements. The customer even put the names of the people at the end, he suspected to be the right ones.
So I send an email back to PM that this is project stuff, not my business. Case closed for me.
Half an our later PM enters my office, telling me he thought I was the right guy for this topic and he didn't know who else could be interested in it.
So I told him that this document is about defining project requirements and that he could have sent it to the people that are mentioned at the end of the document.
Turned out he didn't even opened the document. F...A... Wasted my time instead of doing his job.
Guess next time I'll be reading his documents at as good as he does. -
Grammarly just found and corrected an embarrassing mistake in a legal document...
My typo was "onimated"...
Googles spelling and grammar changed it to "dominated"...
Grammarly figured out it should have been "nominated".4 -
People should fucking document their code. I have to implement something using someone's code. And I have no idea what I'm doing.6
-
Lead senior dev: “Please document everything in understandable READMEs!!”
Also lead senior dev: doesn’t write comprehensive docs & questions why you ask them stupid questions
5 -
I feel like castrating our PM right now.
"Hey, here are a few changes I promised the client will be done by tomorrow. "
**Sends a 1000+ page document **
It's on a fucking weekend moron!!!5 -
Every student knows the struggle of opening the Downloads folder on a school computer. Gigabytes of information that will never be accessed again and at least ten versions of the same document.4
-
When you document your class just right, so when you encounter it accidentally while debugging, you feel like digging in a base class, because it's so well documented and perfectly written.
1 -
Me: *Writes a report in LaTeX*
Supervisor: Could you send me a Word Document.
Me: I'm afraid that won't be possible...
Me in my head: How about you go print your Word document, roll it up nice and tight and go f$ck yourself up the @ss with it!11 -
I asked for a screenshot to help me assist with the problem.
I got an image inside a Microsoft Word document attached to a Facebook message.
COULDN'T YOU JUST ATTACK THE FUCKING IMAGE INSTEAD2 -
Last year we were given an app to patch that was completely in Arabic (including the documentation). We had a tight deadline to get the app fixed so we paid for a big company to translate the Word document we'd be given.
After 2 weeks we were given the translated documentation only to find it was select recipes from an Egyptian cooking book.1 -
Windows notepad is starting to get really freaky features.
It will actually show an asterisk in the title bar if you have unsaved changes. So now you won't have to spam Ctrl-S a hundred times more often than you do anyway.
Congratulations.
"Modified indicator: Notepad will now show an asterisk (*) in the title bar before the title of a document to indicate that a document has unsaved changes."
https://blogs.windows.com/windowsex...11 -
Keep your computers and laptops clean you disgusting fucks.
Went to my boss’s office to leave a document and when i saw his laptop i almost vomited.6 -
Me: *submits design document to manager, who sends it to client for review*
Client: "everything is good, except one line here mentions a function that has since been removed" *send email to manager*
Manager: Correct this one line *sends email to me*
Me: uh, ok *deletes line, sends updated document in new email*
Is there any reason in the world the client OR manager couldn't have corrected the line and moved on?
Did we need to get two more people involved and send 3 more emails?4 -
My company has sort of project team ("FachArbeitsGruppe" in German) meetings regularly and we love our abbreviations so every now and then at work I see an email or document just labeled "FAG". I think there's even a users group called "FAG IT".
-
Earlier I was viewing my HTML document, but when I opened it this popped up. Musdguest is the name of my school's WiFi, and this kinda looks like the source code for my school's website...?
6 -
Client gets an error message. Proceeds to write the error message on a piece of paper, scans the paper in as PDF and attaches the document to an email to tech support.
1 -
So it's been a while I posted here... but today I got an logo.docx after I asked for an Vectorgraphic. That's it. I'll quit my job and become an ex google techlead on youtube!1
-
Our team is currently working with an Excel document that uses visual basic to talk to an embedded system. We're talking reading memory locations in Excel.12
-
System design meeting with the client.
Client: We need feature X in the design document
Me: But feature X was not a requirement, so it's not in the document and we will not add it.
Client: But feature X should be a common feature today.
Me: That doesn't matter, it wasn't a requirement. And besides that you don't even need it today, the planned system doesn't even support feature X, so we couldn't implement it, even if it was mentioned in the design document.
Client: But we may need it some day, and what do you do, when we decide to enhance the system in a few years and we need that feature then?
Me: Then we make you an offer for feature X.
Inner me: You ordered a bicyle and now you want it converted into a delivery truck next year without charge. That's not how things work.3 -
You know what is an even better feeling than finishing a 60 pages long document on which my schooling rests?
Realizing you finished it 3 weeks before the deadline 😍😍14 -
So today I started editing my CV because I want to apply for an internship in the UK; and because I've already got a Dutch CV, I just opened that document and started working from there.
*selects Dutch part*
*presses crtl + /*
Comment out the Dutch parts! 🤦3 -
I'm starting on a new project and the person that is wanting this done recommended we have a "living document of requirements"
Fuck no!18 -
Me: I don't need to print the city on each row of the excel file, it already appears on the top of the document.
PM: DO IT ANYWAY! THEY'RE IDIOTS!4 -
That one guy in the team,
Who builds things and knows stuff about the things he has built and doesn't document it :) doesn't document anything about it.
Fuck you man. Seriously, you need me to come everytime to you and ask you about it?
Fuck you.
Literally, Fuck You!5 -
When client requesting something, it has to be done ASAP.
But when i ask about the payment...
I must sign some documents declaring the job was done
The documents then must be sent to manager
The manager must create another document to be sent to finance division
The finance sent that thing to director to sign the damn document so finance can make a payment
Oh shit the first document before i start the project went missing, i have no idea why they need that
Some weeks has been passed till today
Cant find the document
Recreate the document
I must sign it back but they said no worries, we can advance to next step so i can get paid today
Manager creates a document
Manager sent that document into finance
Oh shit the financial division is having some seminar, its friday so it will be processed on monday
WTF10 -
Client wanted to send us e-mail addresses.
Client sent an image inside a Word document showing a list of e-mail addresses.
Luckily ShareX has an OCR feature.1 -
Hours of refactoring just to get 0.5 seconds increase in performance per document generation.
Sounds small but makes a big difference when generating 100k documents.
Still not happy with it though...2 -
NO FUCKING PROGRAM IS SELF DOCUMENTING. I DON'T CARE IF ITS A HELLO WORLD PROGRAM, DOCUMENT IT!!!
😡🔫1 -
Had to bring up some issues with my instructor to the school, and forgot to print out emails hosted on their Exchange server that show the issue in detail. When I logged in, every email had mysteriously disappeared from my account, but because I document everything about this horseshit school locally, I could still show the exported emails.
The instructor?
Head of IT.
The bastard tried to hide the evidence, but fuck him, Document Everything. -
Why do clients send everything embedded in a word document. Can you send me the jpeg? I receive a word document. (It's always word 2003 for some reason).2
-
Hey there
I see you are about to publish your cool new tool on github
Just remember
If you dont document it properly i will personally gut you
:)2 -
When you thought web browsers use too much memory, introducing a document scanning app that uses only 2,7 GB of ram.
Just a slight memory leak.
5 -
My PM is a glorified Q&A tester. Has never coded in his life and refuses to use jira or slack. He basically emails me a word document (because he refuses to use google docs) with all his "so-called bugs' errors. I dare you to tell me of a worse PM.1
-
I was browsing through xkcd when I came across this comic. Then I realised that a line break after every sentence is actually what I do when writing something in LaTeX. It has no effect in the end but I feel like it makes the document clearer while working with it. Anyone else who does this? ^^'
1 -
Corporate computer with autofill for password to secured document system. Just typed in the console Document.getElementById('password').value to print it out.
Am now l33t h@ckzor?6 -
Just copy the schematic by hand when you have time instead of taking an image of it.
Did it, then ajusted the image with gimp and printed it as document. Thats how you waste time... or learn gimp, depending on the viewpoint. 😉
2 -
Just found a really short JavaScript code inside a html document that will on Firefox for Windows/Linux no longer let you use your OS. Also android gets completely laggy and needs a force restart.
(I'm new to JavaScript)21 -
Writing a report in a word document for half an hour. Forgot to save in the middle.
You guys know what happened after that :(
2016 and we still have to deal with this freezing shit :(10 -
Me: man, I really want to work on my project but I don't know what to do
Brain: You should document your code, it doesn't have a single fucking comment, you stupid lazy fuck
Me: oh ok, I will do that ...1 -
Client once sent me an error as a forwarded email from the scanner of a scanned document of a printout of a screenshot of the problem -_-
...hnnng!3 -
Hundreds of PHP files with same name and _# at the end to differentiate them - each containing hundreds of
$(document).ready(function() {
$(some_slector).on(some_event, function() {
//one line of code
}
}1 -
TLDR: Ask irritating questions, you could end up saving the company money and time...
I’m working on a project where we are integrating 2 legacy web applications with each other.
Business Analyst/Project manager (BA) : Save all the contact details of the selected firm in application A into the database of application B, then expose that data later so that we can output it into the document when the user generates them.
Me: Seems a bit excessive, there’s even a fax number, nobody uses that anymore, are you sure we need all that?
BA: The old document has all that information.
Me: Please just check with client that witch fields are still needed in the document.
BA: Ok, fine, but it’s probably a waste of time…
BA: * Talks with client on phone for 10 minz *
BA: Ok client stays we only need the Lodgement Number on the document.
Me: We already store that and populate it in the document.
BA: I had budgeted 2 days labour for all that, you just saved us a lot of money!
-
WHAT THE FUCK!!
For a freelance job I searched for a JS function in the HTML document of a Wordpress site that was given to me.
Found it and wanted to get started on the project, but there was something odd about this website (besides it's a Wordpress site). The scrollbar was fucking small and when I scrolled down, all I saw was breaks. An almost endless number of breaks.
Then suddenly There was a line of HTML!! And then another 126 breaks.. :/
(Yeah that's right, I calculated the number of breaks between every line of HTML). This document has 75732 lines of shit.
The whole fucking website loaded in over 20 seconds!! What the fuck is that?!?! The document itself is 258 kB!!
But whatever, I get paid.4 -
New way of storing passwords "securely":
1. Open word and write your passwords in plain text
2. Save that word document and open it in notepad
3. Delete a random character but remember which one and in which position & save
Now the document won't be accessible with word and to fix it you have to put back the character you deleted.10 -
project launched and everything is going smoothly so far. since I have some time, I started writing documentation and I put this at the start of the document.
4 -
After trying polymer for a week, I can officially say that it is the most confusing framework ever.
They need to learn how to properly document their code.
Stack overflow doesn't help because the dipshit who asked the question ALWAYS "misspelled" a variable.1 -
Me: You provided the wrong credentials for AWS. That’s why it won’t work. Please provide updated ones using document I emailed you last month.
Client: I forgot how to do that. Will you be free tonight after 9pm?
Me:.....
Yes. This really just happened. No. I am not doing it unless they pay hourly. -
People are talking about Windows VS Linux about security, meanwhile: https://wikileaks.org/vault7/...5
-
External Dev. Job aplication website - please attach resume. CLICK. Unknown document format: (your format .pdf, acceptable format .PDF). 🤔1
-
This is the most impressive testing document I have ever read. Props to the SQLite devs for doing things so thoroughly.
https://www.sqlite.org/testing.html -
Some weeks ago I read a rant about someone saying that it's superior uses Word for webpages.
This is sick, it's a fucking word document, with an embedded picture.
http://www.cne.gov.co
3 -
Just finished 15 a4 pages long document about app and tomorrow I must send it but still need to make another document 1 page (easy) and presentation in libreoffice about it.
Ahhhhhhhhhh1 -
Been asked to do things out of my area, like print stuff, make videos, institutional document guides, etc etc etc1
-
Working on my website. Ranting on positioning my background which uses CSS perspective and translateZ to move slowly when someone scrolls.
Can't figure out a way to make it not overflow the whole document for almost 3 days.
Out of frustration changed the position to fixed.
And the problem was gone :( :D :(
I have no idea if I should cry or laugh loudly4 -
Me showing boss a draft document
Me: Ok so this is a placeholder list of statuses, I have to call the client to find out what statuses should go here.
Boss: Hold on lemme read it. *Reads*. But this list of statuses is incomplete, you should call the client to find out what statuses we should add.
Me: ಠ_ಠ5 -
Opened an old document using Office, tried hours to move around the document but couldn't.
Then realised, I was pressing 'h', 'j', 'k' and 'l'.
😒😒2 -
There should be a document given to all recruiters outlining how technologies are related and what NOT to ask developers. The hate has to stop. Imagine a world where the recruiters (broadly) understood devs. We'd have a much easier time getting jobs. I think I might just write one up and try to distribute it locally.3
-
So I took up a website development project, and the customer sent me a clear requirements document (yay!). I make the website, show the demo and boom, suddenly the client wants COMPLETELY different things. Fml.1
-
Me when after a client has signed a spec document and they still try to add more features. Cannot find words to explain how much I hate scope creep.
2 -
Got asked: Could you add more columns to this Word document?
Me: *Checks* *Sees it's all tabbed, not a table* Um. No. -
Wrote some documentation in a text-editor. Pressed cmd+option+l and wondered for a moment why it didn't properly formatted my document.3
-
Lawer: "We need to share in our internal site a document but it can't be shared, printed or downloaded. We need it yesterday"
And now how we can make it happen???8 -
In the middle of coding: "Too into code to document properly. Will document later."
Two weeks later:"What the actual fuck is this code doing?"
2 -
Client : I want an online store
Me: oh nice, send me your requirements document and a preferred website.
Client: 24hours later, sends me images of the products... wtf11 -
My wife often listen my rants about stupid clients, she thinks that I hope to much from them. Like image as actual image not fucking embedded in word document.
Today she agreed to help her friend and make name cards for tables. Got list of names ;) one photo of paper with hand written names on it :D1 -
I've been asked by my manager to document my TypeScript project with more than a hundred .ts files such that "someone with no programming background should be able to maintain it."
I should get paid as a textbook author.10 -
My boss had a 50 page word document where he add any bugs he has found (he likes to test before it goes to QA) we then have to read that document for any changes (hi-lighted in blue) then add them to our bug tracking system. Any updates that are made on the ticket we have to add to the word document.
We tried letting him use our bug tracking tool but he hated using it as the padding on the navigation links was too big. We would have to redesign the 3rd party tool just for him4 -
“Your iCloud doesn’t have enough space for backup. Upgrade shit”
— My new phone that doesn’t have a single fucking document on it.2 -
I was employed as a Researcher so for three months i basically did nothing but read, document, read, document, read, document. Then one day in a review i was doing a demo that required sql. Three months no coding. Of course I've forgotten. And now, this ass back boss of mine gets surprised because i asked for help on update syntax for sql?!?! Like, come on. I COULD GOOGLE THAT. No big deal. But it was to him. He thought i was incompetent as a software engineer. So hE DECIDED TO JUST RANDOMLY PUT ME IN A DEV TEAM and i was expected to perform as fAst AS THEM while still doing mountains of task on research. Worst part is THEY EVALUATED ME BASED ON THAT PERFORMANCE. AFTER I WORK MY ASS OFF FOR THREE MONTHS AS A RESEARCHER, I GET EVALUATED BADLY BECAUSE I DIDNT MEMORIZE THE UPDATE SYNTAX NGNGNNGGNGNNGNGGNF1
-
I hate making documents about programming or android porting.
I could tak about it and say all i need but in document it all needs to be good looking and just formal while in talk you can just talk about it.
AHHHHHHHHHH another 7 A4 pages long document about android porting. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH1 -
When a Field Tech emails you about a problem and the screenshot is embedded in a Word Document. WTF, why can't they send it as a f'ing jpeg, gif, or IDK a png?
BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH2 -
Java professor just copied his code from a word document into netbeans. I have lost faith in humanity.5
-
Excuse me?!
You called me to encode this compliance document?
And I'll take care of the contents?
Just follow the format?
And must be submitted to central office/agency? Deadline is today?
Wait, do you know what time is it? It's fvcking 11:40AM PHT and office is only until 5PM.
I'm an IT guy. Your only developer, sysad, and you want me to do a management document? Am I regular like you? Wait, is that even a technical document? Wtf!
I was in the middle of coding and checking our server status when this high-rank employee from the Admin office called me and was told to do this compliance document what has nothing to do with me or even our IT unit. So yeah, this is how crazy some government office work here in PH.2 -
Programming is like a Word document, except that if you make a spelling or punctuation error, you get 100 highlights elsewhere which aren't wrong at all and make no sense.
Continuation of https://www.devrant.io/rants/433434 -
My hardware professor from first year at uni
He wasn't the best lecturer (which he openly admitted), but he was always willing to go an extra 10 miles to help you out, including essentially writing up the entire module into a nice document (70 pages long!) so we'd have good notes to revise from -
Why can’t you just make a document with the description of the things you want?
Why do you feel the need to send me fucking voice notes over 9 min long?2 -
Alright, ladies and gentlemen. It's Friday. You know what that means.....
Don't touch nuffin' and DOCUMENT.1 -
Is it wrong to expect some widespread documentation from a $350 billion company to properly document a key part of their upgrade path for a new SDK version? beware any Android devs upgrading from API 3.X to 4.X on the Facebook SDK.......you'll want FacebookSdk.setLegacyTokenUpgradeSupported(true); before your call to initialize.....
-
QMS admin: you only finished the code review, you didn't complete it!
Me: opens review clicks complete
QMS: you didn't export the code review comments!
Me: opens code review again. Clicks Export. Attaches *.txt
QMS: you exported the comments in the wrong format, I can't read them
Me: what is the right format?
QMS: SOP document <random alphanumeric> clearly states the format
Me: spends 20 minutes navigating the piece of crap QMS software with no search function folder by folder.
Finds document.
It's 120 pages and 4 years old.
On page 68, I find "template to be implemented"
Reply to QMS, that document doesn't actually give a reference to a template
QMS: Email my line manager "Please teach your staff how to do a code review"3 -
As I'm learning Chinese, I realize I'll feel compelled to document all my projects in Chinese and English if I ever reach a proficient level.
Right now I'm reading the three little pigs, but i'm determined! -
Shouldn't be there a position called "Document Developer"! who's job is writing documents throughout the whole sdlc processes? Also expanding comments written by the coders. The only skill needed is English MVC framework!2
-
As I am now in a leading position in the middle of a agile transition:
has anyone got a source for a project done completely with user stories?
I am searching a real life example with already finished stories an active backlog and a documentation.
I just can't wrap my head around it. When and what do you document? In which Form do you document? How are you writing user stories with more content like diagrams and such?
(we use jira and confluence but just started with stories)
I read some articles on the topic and watched some talks but sill don't get the picture.8 -
Finished CZscheduler, an Android module part of CZenter.
It generates your daily schedule.
Export options are json, md, pdf
PDF output sample
------
This document was edited and uploaded directly with CZedit
2 -
Made parsers that are downloading and parsing 100 years of law data right now.
I am so happy I don’t have to read every document and just let computer do it for me.
That are great times we live in.2 -
The application that was working fine on local host failed to do one task which is to read users data from excel and save it on mongo db, in some collection document's embedded document. My last night and today morning was tensed due to this. So I decided to re deploy the same application on another instance that I have. Worked completely fine
😐😐😐 -
Google has flagged a document in my drive, saying that it is violating its terms of service.
The document is just a digital logic and computer design book.
I don't know how a book is violating its TOS?20 -
I hate debugging document oriented data types..
Can't even sysout easily like primitive data types.
Need a debugging duck.1 -
Who knew running OCR on a 70 page scanned document would take 42 minutes and eat nearly all your RAM? RIP server 🤣🤣🤣1
-
Coworker: So should we just make a living document to keep track of how all these objects are going to interact with each other?
Boss: No, are you kidding? No one reads documentation!
I mean... he has a point...3 -
Who in the right mind, would use NULL as an identifier for an essential part of their library and then NOT document it anywhere.
I spend approx 5 hours today, hunting down why my code was segfaulting.3 -
After like 15 odd years using MySQL I'm about to delve into the world of document orientated databases ... Wish me luck :)5
-
How to spend more time writing docs then code?
15m = doc
1m = code
<code>
/* Motor DC + Mosfet IRF520 + Servo
Materials:
IRF520 (Mosfet) + Dc motor + Batery (3V min)
diode (1N4007?)
Changed Tip122 for IRF520: Tip122 has less resistance and produces more heat
Hardware:
ARDUINO = A(port , 5V , GND)
MOSFET = M(A[port] , + , GND)
MOTOR = MOTOR(+ , -)
BATERIA = BAT(+ , -)
DIODO = D(sinal_1 , sinal_2)
MOSFET
M(port) = A(port)
M(+) = D(sinal_1) AND MOTOR(+)
M(GND) = A(GND)
D(sinal_2) = B(+) AND MOTOR(-)
ARDUINO
A(port) = M(port)
5V = null
A(GND) = M(GND) AND BAT(-)
*/
#define motorPIN 8 // A(port)
int loopy = 0; // Loop variable to limit de program
void setup()
{
// Initialize the motor pin as an output:
pinMode(motorPIN, OUTPUT);
}
void loop() // 1 loop == 100ms
{
if (loopy < 10) // Turns motor ON for 1 second
{
digitalWrite(motorPIN, HIGH);
}
else // Turns motor OFF
{
digitalWrite(motorPIN, LOW);
}
}
</code>22 -
Who the hell returns a SOAP response with a CDATA node containing a text string that is a concatenation of XML document?
Someone hates me...
6 -
Colleague: "Hey, how do you scan the document from the printer to my laptop?"
"Hey, how can you help me to open the pdf?"
..
Why are devs treated like office boys/girls4 -
My boss told me to dismantle the continuous integration server for me project and document how to do those manually.1
-
exactly two years back I joined my current company, it is spanish company and I speak only english. each document that was there in the welcome kit was in spanish, including design and architecture documents. also coding guidelines. it was a night mare as comments in the code were also in spanish. it took me three days to come to terms with reality.8
-
"It was hard to code so it should be hard to understand."
- my former boss who did never document any code -
When QA isn't smart and you spend way to much time talking and in meetings.... "Listen, we are only testing for new bugs related to this fix, if there is a pre-existing bug, document it and move on".
QA finds a pre-existing bug and stays fixated on it for 3 days....1 -
RTFM, seriously. I'm assigned to document the git-system even though all it takes is "RTFM" and a link to the official docs. It's even the second time i do this because my last attempt at documentation got lost...2
-
anyone else paranoid when it comes to privacy? i'm already deleting my stack exchange accounts after realising that whatever I do there would be hard to delete. i keep googling myself. this is crazy.2
-
Welcome to our development process! Where we come up with a project idea when we have two upcoming projects, have a late night writing an 16 page design document, to later cancel the project two months later.4
-
The thing I hate the most at the moment, is working/receiving tasks on chat (Skype, telegram).
Content, corrections and all. As I like to scroll my hand off to copy your fucking content while you keep writing on an on.
Write a motherfucking document!
Now I start raging at the any chat notifications 😡😈2 -
I made a pretty useful library that the whole company uses but its all in bits and pieces and i cant be assed to organize and document it, but i really wanna put it in a central repo1
-
Just got sent a text document to read in and auto generate a mesh from the coordinates in the file. Some how the fact that it's >29,000,00 coordinate points has failed to be mentioned until now.1
-
This client keeps on popping me with numerous emails. In last hour, I've received over dozen emails with the one sentence website feedback from him.
Make a proper feedback document and send it to me at once you creepy animal.1 -
Just a quick Tip for our jQuery Users: There is a difference between $(document).ready() and $(document).on("ready")! I learnt it the hard way :)4
-
y'all surely like up-to-date docs and shit, and there's an unofficial project that has been revived to document devRant's API. Check the collab:
https://devrant.com/collabs/2644989 -
First you make a filthy JSON protocol where numbers are encapsulated into strings.
Then you document this little fact nowhere. Actually you don't document anything at all.
Then you make a shitty parser that ignores any exception. So that when I try to send my objects, it took two hours to figure out it was "my fault" as I was sending actual integers instead of strings.
I think you deserve to suffer a terrible agony for exactly the amount of time I lost.2 -
So just got news via comments about retarded devs leaving twilio creds. in their apps published to the app stores, attached below is an interesting snap of the document appthority has published, wonder who is getting beat up right now for leaking corporate meetings 😶
4 -
Unity's and Apple's documentation spoiled me bad. Why can't every library out there document their shit the same way the former does? I'm looking at you, OpenCV.
-
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU FUCKING RETARDS USE TWO DIFFERENT AUTHENTICATION METHODS FOR THE PAYMENT AND THE CHECKOUT API AND DON'T EVEN DOCUMENT THIS SHIT PROPERLY!! 🖕2
-
Pm: heres this exciting new task that i know you been asking to take
Me: yeeeeees...?
Pm: so document these things and sketch up a formula for this other thing instead1 -
Can anyone recommend good resources for learning how to design NoSQL (document) data models?
I'm interested in stuff that talks about how to make the choices about distributing data across collections, etc.
When to have a single collection, when to split data across different collections, when to duplication data, etc,6 -
The feeling after you refactor 4000+ lines of ugly legacy code into 2000 lines of code placed in a framework ...these 4000 lines also all one document
-
I hope the app is all about butts, because this is part of the visual 'feel' document I just received.
1 -
VS Code, WTF is wrong with your tab stops?
I set to 2 and you still use 4.
I say use spaces for tabs and you still put tabs in my document.
Tab settings by doc type? Not existing or working.
Damn you!
Just work5 -
It's amazing how much you'll learn can be done just by having an issue you need to fix.
I had no idea you can have click to enlarge pics inside a word document. That's brilliant4 -
!rant
That moment of satisfaction when you finally complete a report on Natural Language processing by reffering 6 IEEE paper and 7 presentation document within a night before submission. -
Sure you can specify svg object attributes x, y, width and height in metric values like mm and after put things on paper get same printed output but if you want to transform svg object you need to calculate new values by yourself cause you can’t simply provide translate (10mm, 10mm).
Now I ended up with manually converting values to mm.
Making free transform tool for exact document data rendering inside browser is pain in the ass.
I started to wonder how google docs or microsoft word for web deal with this stuff.2 -
Scream, the agile framework for when scrum would require too much change.
https://docs.google.com/document/u/... -
You know what's fucked up a part of debugging? Preparing a fucking word "report" document, in which the table wouldn't align properly.
Seriously, I hate my university's grading criteria. They ask first to send 'weekly reports', and after internship ask for 'final report' which consists the same fucking thing. -
Been writing a paper for university the last week or so.
It's not my bachelors thesis, but still rather important.
The project itself didn't go too well, but it is what it is now.
The only issue... I can't seem to get productive when writing the document.
I sit in front of my desk, staring at my monitor, and I can get out a sentence or two every 15 minutes.
At this point I genuienly fear that I might have some form of ADHD. Can't be that hard to document the little amount of work I actually made......14 -
When and how do you improve documentation?
I dont mean "added new/refactored code, gotta document it" but active improvement.
Which feeback channels do you have for your docs?3 -
Wasting 7 sheets of paper because of this fucking HP Officejet(6600). ALL I ASKED WAS TO PRINT THAT FREAKING 14 PAGE LONG DOCUMENT AND YOU WITH YOUR FUCKING OWN MIND LET ME UNSTUCK YOU 7 TIMES!!!
Me: Sends the document to the printer.
Printer: Let's do like I am going to print.
Printer: let's show the "document stuck" message
me: Let's open the back and remove the paper.
Printer: let's show the "document stuck" message
Me: Just pressed OK and it continues
WTF YOU AREN'T EVEN STUCK YOU FUCKING STUPID PRINTER.
Looks like every time I send a file to the printer at least the 1st sheet will troll me with that message.
Printer is asking for some free base jumping from the window lessons.2 -
That happy moment when you finish that big list of features requests and you have to document all requests, outputs and models with types and descriptions, all in a foreign language :)2
-
Just found this:
jQuery(document).ready(function($){$(window).load(function(){ /* do stuff here */ }
Nothing else?2 -
Hi C# guys out or everyone else too,
I found this in an StackOverflow answer: https://docs.google.com/document/d/...
What do you think?16 -
Client: Hey, can you explain to me how this feature works? I'm totally confused.
Programmer: *explains the entire feature to client* Actually, you made the specs for this. *shows specifications document client created*
Client: Oh right. Sorry, completely forgot about that. It works great. But can we make some changes on...
OH HELL NO. -
RavenDB was by far the worst document storage "solution" I have ever had the displeasure of working with.
- Loading data crashed the service.
- Queries crashed the service.
- Monitoring applications crashed the service.
- It didn't support clustering or HA of any kind.
- Sometimes it just worked for no good reason.
- Often it broke for completely random reasons.11 -
Our app has web scale data. So let me take all my tables from a relational database and map them one to one to a collection in a document database.
-
has anyone here done a proper refactoring? i mean, documenting, following some rules, etc.
i need to know the process and guidelines for refactoring, what & how to document, where to start, etc.
i am assigned to a project for a short term and my job is to do refactoring of Reactjs code. and i need to do it in a really good way.
any help would be highly appreciated.
thank you.2 -
Once upon a time I spent a week writing down a "Coding Conventions" document, setting up linters for JavaScript & CSS based on those rules and put the call to the linter in our gulp build task, only to figure out the next day it was commented out by some guy because "the build task was throwing errors" due to his shitty coding style...2
-
All summer I've been working at a company doing some full-stack development. Starting my last year in university, I really wanted some real life experience that ties into my studies.
I did not expect to find horrible, undocumented, code that has been written 5 years ago, where the senior developer who wrote it doesn't even know what it does. The worst part? They are STILL not documenting! I tried to document, but got this in return "you don't have to document everything. Especially if it is understandable". But they don't even understand their old code!
Monday morning, we had a meeting and they asked what I thought of working here, seeing as I am done this week. I respectfully told them that their code is not readable, and it will make it hard for new employees to understand. The boss in return says "you're the third newly hired employee this summer to say this... Maybe we do have a problem then"..
No shit. Please for the love of God, comment your code!2 -
Who is doing this to me *sobs*, mongoose or MongoDB? 😥😥
I'm adding new records (array) to an embedded document, but the first record to be added gets duplicated, even with the same ID and stuff :(..
Was using Callbacks, switched to promises, still the same.
😥😥😥😥😥4 -
> Underfull \hbox (badness 10000)LaTeX
FUUUUUUU Latex!
I don't care about the badness of my hboxes, cause I'm a badass myself.
At least the document looks nice.6 -
Worst documentation was a document made for a client's api that wasn't updated, they had to send us pretty much everything by mail so we could integrate it
-
JP University Bihar publishes it's result online as a PDF document which contains result of 1000+ students.
Also the PDF documents are generally scanned copy of printed document.
What's the point of uploading result online when I can't even use ctrl+f to find a particular roll number.
Better stick to the wall, it will be more convenient.1 -
Other team asked for a "data model" of how to store their documents.
I sent them this
/** WAS THAT SO HARD */
function Document() {
this.sections = []
} -
Being dependent on people who are lazy to document but knows everything about the app you are working on is a pain in the neck. Have tried bugging them to do documentation, but no win... Grrrr.....1
-
Every time I updated API document, I ask you to comment
You said it looks fine
And when we start integration, you said this need to change
🤷♂️ -
I once worked on a project with 3 specification documents; a word document with numbered points describing every feature inadequately, a UI specification with mocked up screenshots in a badly-versioned wiki, and a user manual which had already been produced by an overzealous marketing department.
Of course they all contradicted each other :D -
In my house I'm the only one who "knows" about tech. My sister and brother, too but they're too lazy to help our mom 😂😂 so I have to help her... The last time was because she wanted to scan a document and she didn't know how. Because we change scanner. So I let everything ready to her and she just had to click on scan document 😂😂 I don't know what she did because when I got home she told me the scanner was a piece of shit 😂 and I had to scan her document
-
So far in my new job, a colleague that refuses to use Xdebug and contractors that don't document anything they do.1
-
Current task: take a word document of test cases and turn them into code.
My issue with this: the document appears to have been written by a drunk 10 year old with no knowledge of the system or development in general.
Half of the English makes no sense in the document, let alone the technical points.
My favorite mistake that is all over this document, "this will not cause an error but will reboot the system" they're the same thing in our context, raising the error reboots the system.
I want to cry. -
the previous team didnt bother to document, upgrade, improve or anything to at least ease out the support and development process.
i guess i cant blame them, the bureaucracy here is ridiculous. a simple and tiny out of the box stuff is questioned not entertained.
wtf. -
Just one more layer of wrappers.
I thought CSS supposed to style the document , but now I need to change the document to get styled properly -
You know that you are suffering from coding abstinence when you desperately try to build a Word-document by Ctrl+Shift+B... 😂1
-
I thought debugging node.js would be me throwing a bunch of commands at terminal but thankfully saner minds created vs code debugger.
Also vs code documentation should be a lesson to everyone on how to document stuff. -
Client knows a few technical terms, they put them in a document or slap them on some diagram then asks for a quote - the frustration.
-
Not code per se but a company I worked at ran their document control from a giant spreadsheet. Each row had info and a link to the document.
It was all in one directory anyway... -
Oh, so when i want to open an attached pdf document in an email received and read in Outlook, I must install Outlook. Sounds reasonable.
2 -
Rewriting some fractal generation code for a client in Python. his original code was in Visual Basic. he sent me his original code as a fucking Microsoft Word document...............
-
Quietish team member sits quietly and creates the mother of all APIs, doesn't say much about it, doesn't document what he's done, falls out with the boss, leaves with 2 weeks to go before a beta release.
Already overworked dev/backend support team are plunged into manic bug fixing/business rule implementing/call standardising/chaos.
This is not how one devs.
Not one bit. -
The JavaScript Guy (his words) half joking again about replacing the relational database with a document store 🙄2
-
Worst documentation experience: reading an 500+ page ISA document where the author (a so-called computer architect) kept confusing the term 'op-code,' and 'instruction.' When I asked for a consistent definition he flamed the shit out of me. My boss sided with him.
-
We have a custom made CMS, where you can use templates (previous designs). Most of the time I see these templates with Javascript/jQuery that looks like this...
Edit: There is an extra $ in front of the first (function($). So like this: $(function($)
6 -
I opened a github repo once, just to work together on a LaTeX project for university. My group wanted to prevent nasty formatting stuff in Word, copy paste shit into one document an MS Office - LibreOffice conversion problems. And we were doing good, we splitted up the document in sections and files, so everyone could do his or her part... It ended up into table flipping madness. Commits with different file encodings, Tabs instead of whitespaces, metadata and caches from text editors, because no one updated the .gitignore... it was horrible1
-
That horrible moment when your 'documentation is something that happens to someone else' approach (due to lack of time) catches up with you and you have to go back and generate data dictionaries and diagrams on a deadline.
Gah -
My boss always tells me to document everything. The problem is that I don't know where, because she tells me something else every time I ask her.
The best part is that now there are like three word documents and two excel files for one project flying around four different storage-systems.
And I am the idiot who can't document if she is unable to find the files she's looking for. Even I don't know where my files went because she moves them around like she pleases!2 -
How can a LaTex document simply stop compiling after some months? Is this shit not downward compatible with newer versions? This stupid language and all those fucking compilers this is the worst user experience ever. Gonne re-type the thing in Word now5
-
When someone gives you a requirements document that has too many details including table names that do not fit your convention but doesn't give a simple breakdown of things such as when x = y do this.
My job is so much more complicated since the requirements document is almost 3k words when it could be a few paragraphs. -
LONG MS WORD NIGHT DETECTED
I have to work on a high level document, low level document, SAC document and a use case script for me to get QA approvals.
**CLOSES EDITOR **1 -
Worst documentation I've dealt with? The documentation I didn't write. Lesson learned? There's always time to document, for your own sanity, and the sanity of anyone who has to maintain your work.2
-
When you document an entire infrastructure layout and your boss says, "ok.....let's analyze what you've done..."
1 -
We started planing for next month's. After this my time was already planned for 100%.
Now the Chef was coming we should document some processes. Now I'm planned for 110% for the next months.....
I like to be 110% xD1 -
They want me to document Nifi flows.... In a spreadsheet
Like... Just...
Abd the existing format is just awful1 -
At the place I intern, we're managing a project that's quite old (about 8 years). There's a specification document that discusses features but the mentioned stuff has been subject to incremental changes over the years so that these documents no longer fully discuss exact specifications of a particular feature. I'm curious on how you keep track of such incremental changes to a feature? Do you update the specification document with the new requirement document or is there some other way to do it?1
-
!rant
Doxygen is one of my favorite dev tools. One, I think it kinda forces me to document my code better than what I used to do without it and two....it's "automatic" -
If you want the ridiculous behavior “required” by POSIX, you must set the environment variable ‘POSIXLY_CORRECT’ (which was originally going to be named ‘POSIX_ME_HARDER’).
You just read a line from GNU's official coding standard document :D -
Give me a single reason, why someone will use XML over JSON. I am trying to parse a XML file in Java and it builds a null document everytime. HELP!!5
-
Business: The feature is not as aspected.
Dev: This is what you asked for.
Business: I ask for something else.
Dev: Please refer to the documentation.
Business: F**k with document.
Dev: You only the documentation. -
is there a Go module for editing Flat Open Document Text? I'll like to edit placeholder text from a fodt file and send the results to thecodingmachine/gotenberg to convert the file to a PDF
-
Going trough word document with client comments on website and this is last small tweak "Please can you insert the ‘Shop’ tab to the top of the page on the far right. "
-
If you have a Google document related to this JIRA issue, can you just take the 30 seconds to flippin attach the link to the issue please? Don't make me search Google Drive to find your work.
-
MySQL by far. It was my first DB experience and I have since used it in countless LAMP web apps. Even with modern document databases MySQL is the first solution that comes to mind
-
When business comments on a spec document by first printing it, then writing notes by hand and finally send a bunch of scanned PDFs.
-
Thoughts on significance of Software Requirement Specification and Software Design Specification document in the industry?
Coming from a student struggling to understand the importance of it. -
With the migration from GitHub proceeding in earnest, I am eagerly awaiting hearing:
"We decided that 'just let shit break' was the most obvious and straighforward way to document our projects' dependencies." -
Client doesn't read scope doc. Sends me email asking basic questions that were mentioned as bullet points in the document and subsequent PSA5
-
I hate it when clients send documents that aren't properly formatted.
I hate it even more when it's unclear what the content of the document is about. :/ -
Isn't it great when you get urgent tasks, but the documentation required for it can't be found or doesn't even exist, and the devs that worked on the project before are no longer in the company? And then the producer gives you some document that is completely unrelated?
-
Someone else writing a document: who cares if i don't put a semi colon.its still going to make sense.😉
Me: missing semicolon 204 errors.😱 -
People not using FaaS (like aws lambda or azure functions ) to build chat bots (facebook, slack) but using express based (or any webserver based) application deserves a place in hell.
Can't think why would you use expressJS based app for chat bot. Especially with event emitter shit. At least for Lucifers sake document which event triggers what. Please. -
I’m trying to document a library I work on, and I need to figure out where to host it. Ideally it would be free so if I ever move on I don’t have recurring costs. I would mostly be hosting tutorials there.
Any suggestions?2 -
I want to start learning to document my code. What tools do you guys use? I've seen https://www.gitbook.com/ but their server has been on and off all day and I prefer reliable services.
This project is the reason I'm finally learning to document my code: https://gitlab.com/datwood/...1 -
We ended up finding ourselves with a bunch of tables that have mostly the same columns, but differ by a few. Every time we consume a REST API, we store the `access_token`s and expiration dates and the other OAuth data. However, each provider has slightly different requirements. For example, we store email addresses for email api's, other providers require us to store some additional information, etc. etc.. I'm tempted by the flexibility and lack of schema brought by document databases, but not enough to use one since they're generally slower and we already have everything in SQL. So I got the idea of using JSON columns to alleviate this issue: have a single table for all REST integrations (be it outlook or facebook), and then store the unique integration data inside of this JSON column for "additional data". This data is mostly just read, not filtered by (but ocasionally so). Has anyone had experience with this? How's the performance of JSON fields? Is this a good practice or will it get harder with more integrations?
-
(found on a german blog)
Apparently the DoD saw itself in the need of writing a document to assist at detecting agile bs.
https://media.defense.gov/2018/Oct/... -
Yesterday’s dev achievement. Created a docsify project so that the rest of the company can start documenting their shot.
Something I had implemented in my team a while back, first thing this morning I get a message from the CTO to add mermaid support for his architectural graphs for his latest project.
Tomorrow’s dev achievement, 0 lines of code will be written after 9am. -
Worst dev tech, it has to be MS Word. Apparently they follow the OOXML guidelines to create a Word doc but they have to put in their own shit-flavored ingredients to increase a developer's misery. Parsing that document is pure agony.
I was looking for a way to find the default font size of the document and found this gem https://social.msdn.microsoft.com/F... -
Why do fuck do I have to sign up for Google before accessing a document... Can't they provide a guest user solution. Why must I be on their platform before accessing a document?3
-
Just got back to a solo project I hadn't touched in 5 months due to having other priorities. The whole thing is probably less than 1k LOC split over a half-dozen files and I'm not sure whether I should be angry at my past self for leaving the most recent part untested and insanely bug-ridden, taking almost an hour a fix, or be happy that past me organized and documented everything well enough for it to only take almost an hour to fix.2
-
I was supposed to be searching for jobs online but just spent the last hour ranting about technical interviews...
https://docs.google.com/document/d/...
😪 😪 😪 😪 😪 😪
Movie/lunch/breakfast time... -
Can you advise me what kind of web based wiki CMS should I use? I want to be able to document lots of stuff and fast. I dont need something very advanced.1
-
Challenge mentioned in the below thread is one of the most asked javascipt question in top companies.
Do check it out and post your solution
https://devrant.com/rants/2381656/... -
Does anyone know about an embedded document store database for Go? Currently I'm using SQLite but now I want to implement more features for which I prefer a document store database.1
-
why google???? I mean how hard for them to update a reference document. The reference of gmail api for python2 and python2 is in EOL. The first error I found for python3 is reported in 2015 on GitHub and now is 2019. I mean, seriously the bigB_Company don't have time to update their document. I scratched my head for an hour, what the fuck did goes wrong.
-
Start out by writing everything I want the project to do down in a text document. That way I can just go down the list and add features in order.
-
Release was supposed to start at 10 am, its now 11am but our release document is being debated heavily. The outage is scheduled to last until 2 and we thought we'd be tight for time when starting at 10 FML to right now..
-
That moment when you writes every document in markdown and put them in a git repository for version control.
-
That euphoric high when your shit starts working for some unknown reason, directly followed by the dread when it stops working again for reasons only God knows...
-
Illusion of interactivity: switching back to a tab with an open google document in google docs, I see a cursor, but it's not yet accepting input, only after I click anywhere inside the document. Might be due to lazy loading browsers tabs, but anyway this is irritating.1
-
so we want to use this software for document mangement (versioning and stuff). i totally understand why the developer used rtf for document templates. but it took me freaking 6 hours to create a simple document header while finding out 500 designs and methods that didn't work due to the rtf format corset that differs more from word formatting abilities that i expected.
-
I am working on this Flask web application as a part of the recruiting process for a company I have applied to. There are so many mysql connectors out there, but most of them are either deprecated or have shoddy documentation. Finally I found one that was working, but it used
caching_sha_password2 as its authorization plugin which is no longer supported by MySQL😤😤😤6 -
GitHub: merge conflict in the readme document.
Me: I don’t care just skip it
GitHub: no go just use git to fix it
Me: I DONT WANT TO? CAN YOU JUST ADD SKIP IT OK11 -
!rant
Can the awesome devs here please critique my resume and give me some useful tips or how I could improve myself,or better yet devs, if you have a position at your work place help another dev out.
I'm a third year Grad student looking for Android Developer Internships for Summer 2017.
Resume link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/...
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