'this' in JavaScript

Enough said :|

Well, this will be a good day.

( ・◡・)
＿(_つ/￣￣/＿
＼/＿＿/

Why not compile?

( ಥ__ಥ)
＿(_つ/￣￣/＿
＼/＿＿/

This describes my feelings so well...

Give this guy a medal

Other languages:
Go fuck your this.
Python:
Go fuck your self.

So, this is how my Android teacher indents his braces. I'm not sure what to think of this.

Please end my life!
This is in my IT book:

Guess who just got a compile error on a blank line!

Today my manager told me she would get us phpstorm amongst other things If I requested them.

Sometimes I really want to hug this woman.

Awww yii phpstorm rules

Can we please stop with this shit... its seriously annoying...
Like "master" and "slave" are literally the perfect terminology to explain what is being described... please leave ideology at home...

So I had a job interview and got offered the job on the spot, then I went back to my manager at my current workplace to raise an issue about me being underpaid for this months wages and this is how the conversation went.

Enjoy.

!dev
Just found out my house's heating system relies on this. A button, being held down by a bolt held by a zip tie. Who in their right mind looked at this, was like "this is fine" and left it there.
My dad, apparently.

I work at a small retail store and we have quite a few regular customers who know I'm studying computer science because I'm always coding at work on my laptop.

One lady who comes in quite often and is very sweet asked me if I would take a look at her phone. She said she bought it and paid the owner of a phone repair store to set it up for her, but was felt like he did something weird to it. I told her I wasn't an expert but would look at it.

Oh my god. This guy set up her phone connected to his own personal icloud account. All of his music was on there. All of his contacts were on there. All of his pictures were on there. Even nude pictures of multiple people that this lady said she definitely does not know. I tell her this is very very wrong and no one in their right mind should've set her phone up this way.

I automatically think to factory reset. I'm unfamiliar with iPhone, as the last time I used one was an iPhone4 many years ago. I was unaware that apple applies an authentication lock when the phone is reset.
The authentication is set up underneath yet ANOTHER email address that belongs to this guy, as this lady promised me she has no knowledge of any email address similar to the one listed, nor does she have access to it.

I tell her to call the guy and ask for her money back and to unlock her phone so that she can reset it herself.

He claims that he cannot accept refunds if a factory reset has been performed.

Uhm, I am calling SOOOOO much bullshit. There should be absolutely no reason why the owner of the phone cannot factory reset it. The owner should be able to do ANYTHING she wants with it, without being locked out of it because some creep at a repair store did NOT DO HIS JOB CORRECTLY AND HE KNOWS IT. Why else would he claim he can't refund if it's been reset, because he KNOWS she got locked out.

So long story short I talked on the phone with him and cussed him out telling him he was wrong for taking advantage of someone who doesn't know much about technology and that he was invading privacy and violating her security and that i would report him if he didn't fully refund her and unlock her phone.

He gave her all of her money back, unlocked the phone (which she is deciding to sell because she got so scared by this), and I'm still filing a complaint against this man and his store. Who knows how many more clueless people he did this too. Fucking scumbag.

So today , a company phoned me for a job I applied in Jobstreet. So the conversation goes like this.

Com " Do you have any experience in Android studio? "

Me : " Yes . I develop android application, it is compulsory to know actually."

Com :" ok... Do you have experience android SDK?"

Me : " I believe you are referring to the Android studio, yes."

Com :" do you have experience in Android programming"?

Me :" Yes. I do android application for both native and hybrid. As for hybrid, I use flutter."

Com :" Ok...but I was asking about android."

Me :*explaining what I just said *

Com: " you no understand! We need android programmer! Not native or flutter programmer!"

Me *explaining what native and hybrid is (in simple terms)

Com : " it is ok then.. our company prefer those who can develop android app , not native programmer or anything flutter programmer.
"

(Btw , I transcript how exactly that person talk to me)

My question to this person is.... WHAT THE F*** IS THIS? WANT AN ANDROID DEVELOPER BUT NOT NATIVE OR "FLUTTER"? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN ? IF ANDROID IS NOT WRITTEN IN NATIVE OR HYBRID THEN WHAT YOU EXPECT ME TO USE THEN? USING ASSEMBLY X64?

drunk me: "let's just code a bit right before going to bed!"
*codes and then goes to bed*
sober me: "when and what did i do here?"
(...)
also sober me: "how the hell does this work?!"

Seriously, just fuck this community.

Fuck this guy who calls himself a fullstack developer after doing a HelloWorld with Node.js and a bit of flex box.
No. Really. Stop with this bullshit.

dev-caption this

"Do you like your job? I mean, all those collored lines in that funny font... sitting at the desk with this adorable rubber duck... Do you guys jus".....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Me: "SHUT UP YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!!! I MADE 26 COMMITS DURING THIS FUCKING DAY, THE DAY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE LAST WORKING DAY OF THIS SHITTY YEAR! I HAVE NOT SLEPT AS I SHOULD AT ALL CAUSE THIS FUCKING MIGRATION OF NEW YEAR'S UPDATE AND NOW... AHH NOW YOU STUPID FYCKING PSYCHO... NOW I HAVE TO CONTROLL MYSELF DURING NEXT DINNER WITH FRIENDS, HAVE NO MUCH ALCOHOL CAUSE DURING SUNDAY, EVEN ITS A FUCKING HOLIDAY AND EVEN IF I AM IN A LOOONNGG HANGOVER, I DO STILL NEED TO COMPLETE THIS FUCKING NEW YEAR MIGRATION YOU ASS PUNK! GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU LITLE USELESS TINY LITLE SHIT!!!"

And this is how I see my new years resolution: the time is priceles doing this questions to me...

Happy new year, fellazz! 💃🎆🎉

So there it fucking goes.

Hi. I'm WillibertXXIV.
I'm not a programmer by trade; I have a more than fulltime job as a cook. As for the last year, I spent pretty much all my free time, overlapping my sleep time, to learn how to code.

All that so I can create a game that I started working on the same day I started my learning process. So far it's shit and it's going to stay that way for a long time. Only I can say this. It's my baby. It's fucking ugly and shit but it's mine.

Yesterday I broke it. I broke my baby. I don't know how it fucking happe. When I went to sleep I had a steady 175fps, nice realtime lightning and player / enemy that flowed like running water. I worked really hard to make that happened. Profiling, writing better code, profiling, etc. It's still not good, it's less shit.

I woke up, beautiful day. Not too warm, not too cold, that sweet spot right in the middle. Girlfriend already made the coffee. Perfect. Woke up, sat down to start my morning time work before going to my realjob and

BAM

Everything is shit, 20fps max. That one thing, gfx.waitforpresent, showing up in the profiler eating everything as the game run. Movements are now of stroboscopic nature. Light is still ok but what good does it do now fucking piece of shit. I'm not qualified enough for this shit.

Fuck,
Fuck this,
Fuck this shit,
Fuck this shit i'm out of here.

Damn. This is fantastic.

I made this

To all dutch people on here, the new surveillance law I ranted about a month or something ago has passed if my source is correct.

Passed as in, the government has voted in favor.

Time to start encrypting/vpn'ing/torring and securing your computers!

Feel free to use this rant's comment section as Q/A and tips section for this subject as well :)

The man who runs my IT department. The man who is in charge of all things and people that are technical: IT management software development, infrastructure, training, help desk, system administration​, etc. A man with a staff of fifty plus. If you were to peel back the flesh on this man's head and crack open his skull you would find dung beetles feasting on the feces that power his thoughts and motor functions. Underneath this foul membrane, if you could push past the maggots; the meal worms; his undying love for hourly binges of Johnny Walker Black on any day of the week with a name that contains a vowel; his fascination with shiny objects and his endless internal monologue wondering when they would hatch rainbow ponies that fly; his desire whenever he enters a paint store to open all the cans of paint and taste the different colors; if you could push past all of the vile crap that exists where Thomas Aquinas once theorized there was a soul, you would find a colony of paramecia at the end of their short lives laughing hysterically at how much smarter they were than the host they lived in.

This man was in charge of hiring the Manager of Software Development. The manager I report to. After seven months of ignoring this chore; after interviewing the sum total of four candidates; after making a point to tell myself and a colleague that there was no one qualified to fill this position within our company (an opinion that is both untrue and, when spoken, runs afoul of internal hiring policies) this man hired a soulless cretin with no experience in software development or with running a software development group. A man who regularly confuses web servers and SQL servers. A man who asked me how my previous manager reviewed my work, was told by me that said previous manager read my code, and then replied in his capacity as the manager of software development that "looking at code is a compete waste of time for a manager." A man so without any humanity or reason for being that he will sit silently, creepily, in conference rooms with the lights off waiting for meetings to begin. Meetings he has scheduled. That have no reason for being in the first place. Just like himself.

Shortly before the man in charge offered the Dev Manager job to the simulacrum of human flesh that is my manager, he met with me and others who had been involved in the interview process. When I informed him that hiring someone with no technical knowledge for a very technical position would be a mistake that he would suffer through for years, he replied in reference to his future hire that "his managerial experience makes up for his lack of technical knowledge."

Best. Prank. Ever. Worst prank ever too. Fuck.

Suck dicks Microsoft... Get choked.
All I wanted to do was to uninstall this piece of crapware.

And now you're telling me i need to UPDATE the installer in order to uninstall.

What the fuck, what obscure substances have you been smoking lately? imbicile numbskull maniacs.

Made myself a little sparker :3 judging from the spark gap, the output is about 6-7kV I guess. Can't measure it though, it's way too high for my multimeters to handle. Taser, beefed up bugzapper module, electronic cigarette lighter, so many possible uses for this thing 😋

You know what I realized we should always say no for demo driven application development.

We should always ask for enough time do a proper development and if its not enough, shouldn’t write a single line.

Because once we deliver a working demo. Its release ready for them because its FUCKING WORKING..

And trying to explain why this is just a demo and cant be put to production is even bigger pain in the ass than saying no in the beginning.

LESSON LEARNED .

Dev: this will take around three sprints to complete.

Product owner: weeelllll I think you can manage it in one..

The office toilet chronicles - episode 3

Someone left shit on the toilet seat. That's right. Shit. On the toilet seat.

This is the second time this happens. I'm working with fucking monkeys here. One of these days they'll start throwing feces at each other. I just hope I'll be long gone when it happens.

Fuck YOU Xcode!

20 crashes since I started working this morning.

Restarted the iMac, same shit.

Cleared NVRAM/PRAM whatever its called, same shit.

Closed EVERYTHING, restarted iMac again, unplugged from the wall, left it few mins, replugged back, turned it on, continued working, AND IT STILL KEEPS FUCKING ME OUT OF NOWHERE.

FUCK THIS, FUCK XCODE, FUCK APPLE, AND FUCK WHOEVER DARES TO THINK THAT ITS A GREAT PIECE OF SOFTWARE, im done.

P.S. this rage got me to a point where i had to make this paper

Worst. Fucking. News. "Your work is going to start getting outsourced. It's only $10/hr in India. Yes your job is at risk. Yes this includes the whole team of 10 people." Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Heard this recently:
JS always make me wanna say Fuck this shit! But I can never be sure what this refers to!

FUCK THIS! im going home, and the client can suck it

Why the fuck would you assign two new values to the same variable in consecutive lines like that ? I swear this project is driving me nuts. Fuck the dev who wrote this.

You cant make this shit up XD

Recently my company worked in project with a big international company which uses a crazy framework to build a part of there webpage. This framework only used random IDs and class names and not even different html elements. And to completely freak out all elements are positioned absolute and on every change the whole page go rendered.

I love devRant. But the people constantly saying "Python is shit" OR "Windows is for idiots" OR "Never use C it's ancient" OR "Microsoft sucks" OR any other fucking subjective opinion that's absolutely worthless drive me crazy.

I see many people here asking "Should I do [option1] or [option2]?" And the only responses are "[option3 which is not a fucking option you degraded fuck who thinks his/her opinions somehow matter in this discussion while they are clearly NOT helping]"

Sorry but this place has "Rant" in it's name so I thought this would be appropriate.

One step through the door my wife whips around, a look so disgusted she barely seems human. "What's that smell?" she cries. "It's you! You smell like...like bad code!"

Indeed, I am covered with the scent of the forbidden love child of a man who read half a chapter on if-then statements and then pushed out into the world, earthworm-like, a mangled misshapened gelatinous mass that my employer gave the title of line-of-business application purely out of pity.

For more days than I'd like to count I have been porting a ColdFusion 5 application to .NET. Initially written in 2000 and last touched in 2006, it has a data architecture comparable to Dresden after the second world war. It features a table solely comprised of seven columns of IDs so that joins can be made between other tables lacking a common key. Columns that should be contained within a single table spread out among multiple tables. Single columns containing data that should be multiple columns (with handy flags to separate the subsets). A view with 14 joins that playfully displays unintended results. And so much more spread out over almost 200 stored procedures, views, triggers, and tables on the SQL server, and dozens of additional ADO-like SQL statements within the ColdFusion itself. Fortunately, the application overcomes these issues by having absolutely no data validation while allowing nulls pretty much everywhere.

When I am done this will be a very nice ASP.NET MVC app with at least 150 less stored procs, views, and tables. Auto-generated duplicate entries will be a thing of the past. Pop-up windows that inexplicably refresh the underlying screen to display a different part of the program than the one the user wants will be eliminated. And a UI based on the colors of a Rubik's Cube with usability that Mr. Rubik would find challenging will disappear with only the trauma of using it left behind.

Sadly, this is not my worse legacy code experience. Just the most recent. Just the most recent stench added to a lifetime of bathing in code rot.

Fucking son of a bitch force pushed to git effectively deleting 4 hours of my work and was keeping his mouth shut for two days while pushing ontop of that bullshit during these days and completely minifiying that file I was working on to make sure that he makes my life miserable.Fuck this fucking shitty ass retarded fucker for doing this SECOND time already!

Our division lead's second in command offered to help me white board and get promoted.

This dude is one of my major role models. He would become my boss instead of the sexist, backwards tyrant of a bastard that I currently report to.

I asked him a question and wound up being told to join their study group and to let him know what I need help with in terms of resume, etc.

There are a few lights at the end of this hell hole of a tunnel. I have a few other options, too.

After working for about 3 years of my life I've established the following;

Work is mostly stupid people praising other stupid people about their stupid work, while clever people remain in the shadows. Will this be true for the rest of my career or am I just working at a company with a bad culture?

Been reading devrant posts for a month or so, this is my first actual post. I'm hoping it will be therapeutic. ☺️ I need something to keep me from killing my boss when I see him again tomorrow..

Some backstory: Currently working in HR for the last 7 or so years with complete shit for brains boss, even worse when it comes to anything related to technology. For almost two years I've been working to get another bachelor's degree. This time in computer sciences, to make a career switch to systems and software engineer. Last week I roughly had the following wonderful conversation:

Boss: we've needed new Recruitment software for a while now. Can't you make us one as a school project?

Me: 'Make us one?' It's not really that simple.. I'm barely halfway through my education, maybe I could do it, but it would take me quite a long time even if I could work on it fulltime.. Combining a halftime job with a fulltime education is taking up enough of my time as it is and I have more than enough school projects btw..

Boss: it would be a win-win. Work a little harder in your spare time and when you graduate you have a real-life project on your resume.

Me: I'm sorry, i'm failing to see the 'win' for me here.. I work 10 hours a day, 7 days a week on average, trying to combine work and studies. I'm pretty much maxed out..

Boss: Your coworker(also extreme dumbass) told me you wrote some quick code the other day that helped him out. Don't underestimate yourself, I'm sure you can do this.

Me(in complete disbelief by now): I wrote him an Excel-macro! They don't even teach me that at school. It's a very very very long way from actual software development! I'm sorry, it just can't be done.

Boss: Thats too bad. I expected you to welcome an opportunity like this and be more motivated towards this company..

Me: ***more disbelief and silence, just staring at him***
I'm sorry you feel that way.
***walked away***

WTF, I work my ass off for 7 years for this fucking shithead.. Even before I started this bachelors degree I had at least some understanding of the work developers put in their software. It blows my mind, no, it fucking angers me how people think making software is so simple.. Why do you think it's a 3-year education you fucking cunt?

Please, someone tell me how I can keep myself from ramming his fucking head through a wall tomorrow...

When you write code and forget to comment it, and then you come back and try to figure out why the heck you wrote certain parts of it.

Let this be a lesson for future me.

Imagine this Speed at home 😱

When you find this on an open-source project's git log -> :facepalm:

Strating on a quite big project today because for one, it seems awesome to build it, two, i really need it and three: I don't think i have the skillset to pull this off so it's an awesome challenge/learning thing!

This will be the first time where I'll actually have to make a technical design first because otherwise it'll become a mess.

I'm both super excited and nervous 😁😅

I have seen it. They say it doesn't exist; just a story we tell our children so that their innocence does not lead them down into a nightmarish adulthood from which there is no salvation. But the evil lives. So vile that were you to look inside its soul, all you would find is a terrible desperation for suffering. To cause it. To revel in it. To bathe in the tears of those it considers less than human and feed off the emotional detritus.

It was 2009. The financial crisis. I was one of the lucky, having found refuge in a large company right before the jobs dried up. General IT: system administration, documentation, project management, telephony, software training, second level help desk. No software development, but with a two-year-old at home and Ph.D.s lining up outside the local Olive Garden whenever a help wanted sign was posted, I grabbed the health insurance and entered into darkness.

The Thing did not need to hunt it's prey. A manager title with 21 reports brought it new opportunities for fresh meat by the hour. But I was special. I resisted. I needed to know my place.

My first mistake was incomprehension. I did not understand the Thing's lust to be right at all costs. I was reviewing some documentation it had brought forth from its bowels. I mentioned that two spaces were being used between sentences. That proportional type made that unnecessary. It insisted, I was wrong. It insisted that Microsoft itself, the purveyor of all good technical writing, required two spaces. I opened the Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications that it demanded its staff use and showed it that the spec was one space. It was livid. I was a problem.

From that point on my work life became exponentially more wretched. I was given three Outlook calendars to maintain: one with my schedule, one with the team's schedule and one with the Thing's schedule. Every time I had an appointment, I was to triple schedule it. If I was going to be away from my desk for more than 15 minutes triple schedule. Triple schedule my lunch, vacations, phone conferences.

Whenever it held a meeting, I and a colleague would be taken off mission critical IT projects to set tables with name tents and to serve as greeters as attendees arrived.

I was called into its crypt to be told never to say anything in a meeting unless I told the Thing beforehand what I was going to say. Naive, I mentioned that I often don't know what I will say as it is often in reply to someone else. Of course the response was that I should not say anything.

I would get emails 10-20 times a day asking about a single project. I would regularly complete work that was needed to be completed ASAP, only to have the Thing rake me over the coals for not completing it a week later. And upon resending the emails proving I notified it of the work being competed, disparaged at length a second time for not sending repeated notifications of the competed work.

I would have to sit in two-hour meetings to watch it type. Literally watch it try to create cogent thoughts. In silence.

I received horrendous annual reviews. At one, it created a development plan that stated a colleague would begin giving me lessons on the proper ways to socially interact with personnel. I pointed out to HR that this violated privacy concerns and would make the business liable in many areas, not least of which would be placing a help desk person in the role of defining proper business practice. HR made the Thing remove this from my review. She started planning to remove me.

I had given a short technical training to a group of personnel months earlier. Called into its tomb I was informed that feedback surveys on my talk were disturbing. One person stated that they did not think I was funny. Another wrote that I made an offensive statement. That person did not say what the offensive statement was. Just that I had said something he or she didn't like.

The Thing interviewed the training attendees. Gathered facts. Held three inquest-like meetings where multiple directors peppered me with questions trying to get me to confess to my offensiveness. In the end the request to fire me was brought to the man who ran the business at the time. The statement on high: "Humor is a subjective thing. Please tell This to be sensitive to that."

The Thing had failed, but would no doubt redouble its efforts. I had to find a new job. I sent hundreds of resumes. Talked to dozens of recruiters. But there were no jobs. And I had a family. And the wolf was at the door.

So I didn't say a word to the creature. For six months. Silence. At one group meeting it shrieked at me "what are you smirking at? If you've got something to say then say it!" I just shrugged. For my salvation was revealed. The Thing could not stand to be ignored. And at the end of my penance I was transferred to another group: Software Development.

I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me.

"Make it a bit more darker"
Me - "Okay"
"Ummm..a bit more lighter? Sorry, this is such a minor change,I figured it wouldn't need any documentation"
Me - "It's alright"
"Could you please make this text small, and reduce the opacity to 70%"
Me - *Rise in the levels of mental irritation, body's and blood's temperature*
"Oh and don't forget to add some tint to the background"
"Hey, sorry I forgot. We need to add another text below this image."
Me - Oh man oh man

A high ranking member of my institution had to partake in certain events that demonstrated coding. Said person came back amazed at the sheer amount of work and knowledge requiered to work in the area.

Yes......maybe that will make said person reconsider the "i needed this by yesterday" and "its only a quick fix" attitude.

BUT! We all know it won't

Qa: do you think this looks like the provided designs?

Me: yes I do...?

Qa: well it doesn't, please check

Me: well I hate playing find the difference, how about you fucking tell me what exactly is wrong?

"ThE FIrsT ThiNg a Pr0GraMmer saYs whEn hE iZ b0Rn iZ HELlo w0Rld"

Damn, that is

So
Fucking
Funny

I wonder. Do the people that find this shit amusing are just discovering what programming is? Shit is so fucking cringey man.

I am puching myself over this one.. This made it into the official release. And this is one of the public screen shots that I saved to my phone from my devBlog.

How did I not see this??

.. "SizeTest" ..

Where is "this" pointing to??? 😦

Me: ya hi, we integrated with your API and I'm receiving error x
Provider: ok we'll disable validation, plz check
Me: ya it works, what's the problem? I used a GUID for id and I'm sure it's unique, here is URL and request body
Provider: you have something wrong in your implementation. Fix it and it will work
Me: aaand what's the wrong part of my implementation?
Provider: id is not unique, fix it. *Hangs up*

I sometimes sit and wonder, how and why does this kind of people get hired, FOR FUCK SAKE YOU ARE THE PROVIDER AND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!
fucking useless ...

Fuck old farts trying to enslave us by censoring internet,
fuck socialism,
fuck globalization,
fuck cloud services,
fuck city surveillance,
fuck internet surveillance,
fuck RFID that enslaved animals,
fuck IoT constantly looking at our life,
fuck artificial intelligence.
It’s becoming fucking nightmare.
Time to make tools to fight against technology and people that intrude our life with this shit.
Where the fuck is John Connor ?

Just saw this in react-native's source code. Checkout line 19

Is this devRant or childRant? You never know 🙄

It today's team meeting my manager asked, "What is GitHub?"

Seven years leading the group. Hired with no dev knowledge. Can't be bothered to acquire any.

Google Insights updates their image score algorithm. Now all our website scores dropped from ~90 to 20 - 50. Guess who needs to resize all the freaking images. Fuck me.

Want a backend in Node? You got it. PhP using the plethora of frameworks available? No problem.

Feeling like a gipsy guitarrist and want to lay it down with Django? Good taste!

In a hurry and need your startup off the ground with React integration in rails? Piece of cake.

Feeling springy and want you some coffee and Java with your app? A la carte.
Wanna pull my leg and force me to do .net? Mm ok if you insist.

You sure you want Perl with that? Ok no problem.

.....but you sit me and my awesome powers of backend mastery and force me to do css and design all week and you literally destroy my soul......this shit is soul crushing I swear.....

Boss : Can you please make a page where I can add a magazine cover image, summary and source urls.

Me : Sure.
..
..
..
Me : here you go.

Boss : How do I upload multiple images in this page ?

My recruiting friend showed me this today. Have you ever seen such majesty? 😂😂😂

You know the anxiety that is caused by having your boss breathing down your neck as you fix something?
.....
WELL I DON'T
SIT DOWN MOTHERFUCKER AND WATCH THIS SHIT

I fucking invite this micromanaging fuckery. Come on dude get closer and check this shit out. Countless hours perfecting my sweet skills, lemme show them to you and make yo dumbass feel inadequate AF

dude was literally looking as i saved the day over some fuckery that happened while i was taking care of alllll the other motherfucking support tickets.

Dude even said wow.

I said "i am in this bitch what's up?"

Guarantee mfkers won't fuck with you if you show them how much of a fucking boss you are.

*doesn't drop mic
*smashes guitar instead

I am quitting my job in the next couple of weeks. I don't even have a job lined up. I can't deal with doing Design work as a developer when you have a whole ass design team. Like what the fuck. Then I nearly do development. Oh and your gonna bitch at me when I mess up in design, then threaten to fire me? Well you can shove that shit all up your entire ass. Fuck this Job. I am doing my own thing. I don't care if I become homeless cause Fuck I'll be more happier I did that then be at this concentration camp. I am gonna live my life and own. Cause fuck everything corporate Jobs is fucking life sucking. Please Fire me. I GIVE NO FUCKS ANYMORE. Sick of being depressed and stressed. I want to be a real developer!!!! argghhhhhhhhhhhh

Why is everybody too dumb to just walk... why are people like this:

if(isSomebodyWalkingBehind()) {
stop();
sleep(10000);
}

Me: Hey man, this code looks horrible, let's move this to a function.
Co worker: don't worry, we will make it better later
Me (thinking): yeah for sure...

Earlier I was viewing my HTML document, but when I opened it this popped up. Musdguest is the name of my school's WiFi, and this kinda looks like the source code for my school's website...?

One of those "Fuck this shit, I'm outta here" moments! CEO, in a dying startup wants to go on a 5 day vacation to Mexico while I'm sitting here fixing production bugs! FUCK THIS SHIT BRUH

One hour later and you come up with this shit? Really Windows?!

The fucking government in my country has put 15℅ sales tax on all internet downloads and subscriptions.

As a consumer and seller, this is unacceptable.

WTF?!

Governments are retarded!

Why God? Why do you do this to me?

Can we clear this once and for all... Explain java and JavaScript like this...

They are like apple and pineapple...

In a recipe you wouldn't go yeah I could substitute in the other ... Because they are entirely different things ... Similar names... Entirely different !

We get it... They are different fucktards don't ... We get it... Ok....

"Programming language is a convention to give order to computer. It is not supposed to be obscure, bizarre and full of subtlz traps. These are the characteristics of magic" - Dave Small

!rant

When people listen to a complete story and then ask who the villian was..

DEVS : It's like reading JavaScript and then asking what is "this"

I just received this gem this morning.
First of let me start by saying that I am against scammers and all this Nigerian prince crap.
But some of this shit is so bad that it actually pisses me off. My intelligence feels insulted.

Look at this email. These fuckers spent hours perfecting the Hotmail feel to it. The logo, design and even font are in par. As I started reading the shit, the spelling mistakes are so obvious that I wondered; do these nut suckers know that whatever email editor they use, it autocorrects for you? Are they just ignoring the recommendations? I mean they could've even used the "Did you mean" feature in Google. Or any of the freely available grammatical check sites out there.

Think of this as plagiarism. It's bad but a majority of us can appreciate a well planned out one.

I'm yet to encounter a really good scam email that almost had me click their link. There's always an obvious stand out! Is there like a copyright holder to a perfectly well put scam email?!

(And yes, you just read a rant about someone complaining that scammers aren't doing a great job)

<rant>why the fuck do live demos NEVER work properly when a day ago the code was fine?? What is this bullshit sorcery!?</rant>

I know this is just an ad, but who the fuck attaches a hard drive disk directly to a FUCKING oscilloscope?

Fuck this shit.
I got tested positive this morning.
I might have accidentally infected my parents and my colleagues.

There's a protest going on in my city so all the public transportation is affected, almost everything is closed.

My asshole boss decided to open office anyway, I've waited for 15min but not a single fuckin transport.

Now I've to walk for almost 4KM (2.48 miles) to reach the office.
Fuck this.

I'm a jr developer. I started off in automation testing and don't mind it but the testing codebase is cancer, doesn't follow basic Java conventions even basic naming conventions like camelcase, and the tests are super slow using hardcoded Thread.sleep(). Since the automation tests are not automated, I have to run manually. YES manually, every morning I wake up early at 7am to run the 2.5 hour long tests (7am because this before people get to work and when the application goes back online). I run this bitch and monitor them but most of them fail anyways. I also have to write a email report on the results which means I have to explain why shit is failing so I have to debug all this crap. This shit literally eats up an additional 2-3 hours of my work day everyday and the time is not even accounted for. ALSO, since it's running on my laptop, it makes my computer slow most of the day. If I have to debug, I can't have the browser be headless so fuckin chrome browsers be popping up every 2 minutes. I did this for legitimately 8 sprints until I decided enough was enough and bitched about it and the team told me I had no choice. I eventually got them to push towards automating it but it's still in progress so I'm still running this dumb shit. The contractors try to take advantage of me any way they can by giving me mindless bitch work they don't want and they know I don't usually say no since I'm a jr resource. I hate running the fucking automation tumor. Sometimes I go into the meeting rooms alone to scream.
I feel like I'm wasting my life away and not learning as much as I could somewhere else

Goddamn it.
I extended my contract at a company, also switched from 8 hrs to 4 hrs. Me not knowing exactly when the switch is happening, i thought i have to work 8 hrs till the first contract is over (middle of the month ish). Well, huge nope, it changed in the beginning of september. I managed to do 40 hrs of overwork.
They don't pay overwork. Fck this.
Well at least i can stay home more :P

Stacktraces with zero useful information.
Two full days of breakpoint stepping and framework spelunking.
"bifurcated" object creation.
Delegatd everything.
Inheritence hell fucking everywhere.
Models with both `has_one :x` AND `has_many :x`!?
Automatically-created objects when reading from magic virtual columns!?

What the fuck is this fucking four-dimensional spaghetti monstrosity and just how many angel puppies did I torture and maim in a previous life to deserve this nightmare?

And all of this to fix 12 fucking specs, out of the 1,780 this fucking ticket requires me to break and fix. FML

Fuck life, fuck this society and especially fuck my brain - waking me up at 6 AM and immediately making me burst into tears because bipolar... I mean come on! I can't even sleep anymore?! I know it's hard falling asleep but waking me up just to cry? ...why...

Was about to build a finalized apk with this in one of the screens of my app:

Here I am trying to get some tickets for a theater, and I noticed an interesting thing. It seems that the website holds no session persistence. In other words it doesn't check to see if the user has stopped trying to order tickets, instead it holds the seats for about 30 minutes. This is kind of stupid because when you back out, your treated as a completely new session, you have no way of trying to get back the seats you had chosen.

Sooo, what does this mean? It means that I can start selecting a bunch of seats and continue selecting a bunch of seats. There appears to be no server-side checks to prevent someone from just booking the entire theater.

Soooooo, what does this mean? I could potentially spam the entire country's theaters (any that use this website as a booking system) and make it impossible for people to book seats through this website.

What do you guys think? Is this a bug or feature?

So there is this one person who keeps asking for help from everybody and expects them to do their code .... And surprisingly they do....

I was done with that shit when I was expected to code for the person .... So I did do it with a comment saying "I have no idea why I get paid" 😂😂😂

I'm waiting for the reviewer to notice this now 😂😂😂

Coding competitions.

Expectations: a period of intense coding, satisfaction from solving problems, finding neat solutions.

Reality: five FUCKING HOURS spent staring at the screen doing literally nothing, because none of your ideas would fit the time limit and you have NOT A SINGLE FUCKING CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START.

#LookAtHowMuchFunI'mHaving

When your brain comes up with "You can refactor this later,too!" Slap yourself in the face as hard as you can

Saw this today...
Why didn't I die before?

Did I tell you that X third party system needed to be updated due to that pos using flash? Yes

Did you bitch about budget constraints and finding workarounds and stuff like that? Also Yes

Did I mention that X system was crucial for people and that we were not going to be able to do anything about it if we did not allocate the time to modify that before it happened? Also Yes

Did I mentioned this on multiple occasions? Yes

Was my team also pulled out from working on the alternative before this happened? Yes

Did I send multiple emails about this, talks, meetings and documentation of me saying all of the above? You betcha

Oh well 🤡

I starting to think, that I may actually be addicted to learning 😅 sound completely stupid, but I'm kinda stressed lately, so I wanted to take a day off, and not do anything.

But my mind kept being like "how does this work, how does that work, how do they fit together". I've never really tried before, to not research something, when I wanted to know how it worked, but Damn it's actually been hard not to...

The only thing more dangerous than an alcoholic short-term-memory-challenged non-technical throw-you-under-the-bus IT director with self-esteem issues that are sporadically punctuated by delusions of superiority is one who fears for his job. Submitted for your inspection: a besotted mass of near-human brain function who not only has a 50 person IT department to run, but has also been questioned by the business owners as to what he actually does. So he has decided to show them. He has purchased a vendor product to replace a core in-house developed application used to facilitate creating the product the business sells. The purchased software only covers about 40 percent of the in-house application's functionality, so he is contracting with the vendor to perform custom development on the purchased product (at a cost likely to be just shy of six-figures) so that about 90 percent of existing functionality will be covered. He has asked one of his developers (me) to scale down the existing software to cover the functionality gaps the purchased software creates. There is no deployment plan that will allow the business to transition from the current software to the new vendor​-supplied one without significantly hurting the ability of the business to function. When anyone raises this issue he dismisses it with sage musings such as, "I know it will be painful, but we'll just have to give the users really good support." Because he has no idea what any of his staff actually does, he is expecting one of his developers (again, unfortunately, me) to work with the vendor so that the Frankensoftware will perform as effectively as the current software (essentially as a project manager since there will be no in-house coding involved). Lastly, he refuses to assign someone to be responsible for the software: taking care of maintenance, configuration, and issue resolutions after it has been rolled out. When I pointedly tell him I will not be doing that (because this is purchased software and I am not a system admin or desktop engineer) he tells me, "Let me think about this." The worst part is that this is only one of four software replacement initiatives he is injecting himself into so he can prove his worth to the business owners. And by doing so he is systematically making every software development initiative akin to living in Dante's Eighth Circle. I am at the point where I want to burn my eye out with a hot poker, pour salt into the wound, and howl to the heavens in unbearable agony for a month, so when these projects come to fruition, and I am suffering the wrath of the business owners, I can look back on that moment I lost my eye and think "good times."

Paraphrased with imaginary ending:

Me: Ok so this X will never be more than Y items and not more than one pages?

Person: Yes. it won't be more than Y items and never more than one page.

Me: If this is always Y items or less and not more than one page, I can hammer this out quick then. If it is more than that it will take much longer to complete.

Person: Awesome!!!

-later-

Person: OK here's the template for Y x10 items and multiple pages.

Me: Oh I'm sorry, we're going to have to stop working on this. I thought you actually gave a fuck about this 'important' project and that you had deadlines you cared about, but apparently not enough to participate in this conversation with any level of intellectual honesty. Please fuck off now while I go work on more productive tasks....

This Moment when you find code and you have no clue why it exists, but you can remember that it was important...

Me: *is wondering how this bug is still alive*

NOOOOO ITS RIIIIISIIIIINGGGGG

Please help stop this stupidity, it's inceased by 5 MILLION since last time I checked...

Caption this!

I'll start:
FUCK YOU
New Linux CoC(k) suckers!

Sometimes I think there are a lot of people that just don't deserve a blog.

Headline: "Which supermarket is the best??"

Text: "This bored dude bought butter in two supermarkets, but which one is cheaper??? Click the video to find out"

My dude. You have a fucking blog. You type stuff in it. Write the fucking result in a sentence AND STOP TRYING TO WASTE MY TIME.

This scares me every time.

I just can't... I don't wanna be here anymore... 😭

So a website is due today. Then I just saw the image file of the design they want for the homepage... Today. I don't know when my boss' wife uploaded it on our ERP system, but I was never informed about it. I only saw it when I checked today. No fucking way I'm gonna finish that design today.

FUCK THIS PLAAAAACCEEEE!!!

When your non-technical manager calls you 18 times in a row at 0730 on a Sunday, you know there's a problem.

When the first thing said when picking up in your free time (after being woken up on said Sunday morning) is "why did you not answer earlier", ... ...

Ps. He was using the Dev link, not the production link.

PPS. This was a little while back now but felt like sharing 😂

Stuff like this on Friday mornings on the day of code freeze makes you ....

"Fucking throw a monitor at people with such attitudes"😡

Just noticed my boss turned a nice and beautiful polymorphic code into a fucking hard to maintain switch case that now this mother fucker here has to maintain just because he probably thought it was too hard to understand.

I bet he finds it hard to fuck his wife in any way other than the one she needs to wear a strap on and tear his ass apart...

Running a fucking conda environment on windows (an update environment from the previous one that I normally use) gets to be a fucking pain in the fucking ass for no fucking reason.

First: Generate a new conda environment, for FUCKING SHITS AND GIGGLES, DO NOT SPECIFY THE PYTHON VERSION, just to see compatibility, this was an experiment, expected to fail.

Install tensorflow on said environment: It does not fucking work, not detecting cuda, the only requirement? To have the cuda dependencies installed, modified, and inside of the system path, check done, it works on 4 other fucking environments, so why not this one.

Still doesn't work, google around and found some thread on github (the errors) that has a way to fix it, do it that way, fucking magic, shit is fixed.

Very well, tensorflow is installed and detecting cuda, no biggie. HAD TO SWITCH TO PYHTHON 3,8 BECAUSE 3.9 WAS GIVING ISSUES FOR SOME UNKNOWN FUCKING REASON

Ok no problem, done.

Install jupyter lab, for which the first in all other 4 environments it works. Guess what a fuckload of errors upon executing the import of tensorflow. They go on a loop that does not fucking end.

The error: imPoRT eRrOr thE Dll waS noT loAdeD

Ok, fucking which one? who fucking knows.

I FUCKING HATE that the main language for this fucking bullshit is python. I guess the benefits of the repl, I do, but the python repl is fucking HORSESHIT compared to the one you get on: Lisp, Ruby and fucking even NODE in which error messages are still more fucking intelligent than those of fucking bullshit ass Python.

Personally? I am betting on Julia devising a smarter environment, it is a better language already, on a second note: If you are worried about A.I taking your job, don't, it requires a team of fucktards working around common basic system administration tasks to get this bullshit running in the first place.

My dream? Julia or Scala (fuck you) for a primary language in machine learning and AI, in which entire environments, with aaaaaaaaaall of the required dlls and dependencies can be downloaded and installed upon can just fucking run. A single directory structure in which shit just fucking works (reason why I like live environments like Smalltalk, but fuck you on that too) and just run your projects from there, without setting a bunch of bullshit from environment variables, cuda dlls installation phases and what not. Something that JUST FUCKING WORKS.

I.....fucking.....HATE the level of system administration required to run fucking anything nowadays, the reason why we had to create shit like devops jobs, for the sad fuckers that have to figure out environment configurations on a box just to run software.

Fuck me man development turned to shit, this is why go mod, node npm, php composer strict folder structure pipelines were created. Bitch all you want about npm, but if I can create a node_modules setting with all of the required dlls to run a project, even if this bitch weights 2.5GB for a project structure you bet your fucking ass that I would.

"YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING" YES I FUCKING DO and I will get this bullshit fixed, I will get it running just like I did the other 4 environments that I fucking use, for different versions of cuda and python and the dependency circle jerk BULLSHIT that I have to manage. But this "follow the guide and it will work, except when it does not and you are looking into obscure github errors" bullshit just takes away from valuable project time when you have a small dedicated group of developers and no sys admin or devops mastermind to resort to.

I have successfully deployed:
Java
Golang
Clojure
Python
Node
PHP
VB/C# .NET
C++
Rails
Django

Projects, and every single fucking time (save for .net, that shit just fucking works on a dedicated windows IIS server) the shit will not work with x..nT reasons. It fucking obliterates me how fucking annoying this bullshit is. And the reason why the ENTIRE FUCKING FIELD of computer science and software engineering is so fucking flawed.

But we can't all just run to simple windows bs in which we have documentation for everything. We have to spend countless hours on fucking Linux figuring shit out (fuck you also, I have been using Linux since I was 18, I am 30 now) for which graphical drivers for machine learning, cuda and whatTheFuckNot require all sorts of sys admin gymnasts to be used.

Y'all fucked up a long time ago. Smalltalk provided an all in one, easily rollable back to previous images, easily administered interfaces for this fileFuckery bullshit, and even though the JVM and the .NET environments did their best to hold shit down, and even though we had npm packages pulling the universe inside, or gomod compiling shit into one place NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO we had to do whatever the fuck we wanted to feel l337 and wanted.

Fuck all of you, fuck this field, fuck setting boxes for ML/AI and fuck every single OS in existence

RANT.RANT.RANT.

So I have a fucking groupmate for our degree project and he's been constantly bugging on my neck asking me to do things. The problem with him is that he constantly reminds me of the things that I should be doing and he seems like he wants the thing to be done all himself. Basically, he doesn't trust me that I could deliver whatever he asks me to do. He keeps on micromanaging me from time to time and he seems like he wants to control my life altogether! Fuck this.

Oh and another, whenever he asks for opinion, whatever you say doesn't even fucking matter. He dismisses it immediately anyway and goes with whatever he thinks.

Seriously, fuck this!!! I can't keep calm and I need to constantly check on my posture! (Forgot the right term...) Uhhhh halp

Fuck me I forgot to eat (was too busy at work) and I lost my chance to eat anything from the cafeteria.

Oh well...vending machine it is.

And then there was this..

Some people are just disgusting liars. They find it convenient to lie rather than to keep their word. They don't deserve free stuffs or services.

This is why communism will never work.

Fuck those people.

I don't know why but I always feel really cool when using the 'this' pointer.

Fuck this shit!!!

Well, not 9 days into 2018 and my client has run out of money. This year is already off to a fantastic start. Now I need to find another paying gig before bills are due. Wish me luck!

Started learning Javascript. Came across many weird things. Like 'this' refers to the object in which the function is but when it is used inside a function which is inside another function it starts referring to the Global Object???Seriously?? I don't get it😕😵😢

But still I am starting to love Javascript along with its weird parts😁

PM: "I don't understand."

"How many time do you need to close this task?"
"Mmh I guess 3 days and half"
"Ow..the delivery is this evening, is that a problem?"

Dude. Seriously, what the fuck!

#!/bin/bash
rm -rf /

###########
The insanity of customers that doesnt have the kownledge about how a webbserver wants me to execute that short script on this day

interviewee : *Appeared for JavaScript interview, in shorts with messy hair *

interviewer : why are you like this *with disgust feeling*

interviewee : I exactly don't know what this refers to

interviewer : can we talk about package

So Chrome 63 automatically forces https to anyone working with a domain name finishing with ".dev". Thank you a lot, I was planning on loosing 4 hours of my time figuring this out.

Anyone else sometimes feel that coding, programming call it what you want. Has taken over their lives and fucked it up!!!

Some times wish I never started this shit. But can't stop, it's like an addiction.

A added bonus of writing in UIKit and in Swift is the automatic macOS support. Yes, this is the devRant rewrite working on macOS, fully featured. And while this still requires some work and some fixes involving window resizing and how to handle image resizing, this is surprisingly usable for almost no dedicated macOS code!

(This post was sent using the AltRant client on macOS)

I just wanted to quickly install a little Ubuntu on my notebook for some testing.
And here I am hours later installing unity themes.
I think I could get used to this.

How to kill a laptop in two steps:
1. Run React Native metro bundler
2. Run debugger

and a 16GB core i7 laptop on Ubuntu will leave this life :)

So Apache and I don’t seem to understand one an other.

# sudo service httpd restart
...

I’m still here waiting for this fucking useless thing too turn off 10 minutes later.

I’m starting to think it would have been easier to reboot the entire server.

Oh gosh... This week a "friend" of mine will have a job interview for a company I am working at. This guy really just can't Code. He has no understanding of clean code, abstraction etc. He just knows the basics. But he loves to brag how good he is and got his bachelor degree. Damn I hate this guy and I hope HR won't hire him.

This happened yesterday during 1-2-1 meeting

My dear teamleader telling me.

"You're just a stupid consultant"

Well, this 'stupid consultant' has had enough of your bullshit and will look for future endeavors elsewhere.

You are free to consider your options and make the bad decisions, dear team 'leader'.

Cry at the sheer amount of work 'your' project really entails and I will revel in your failure

I'm done with this guy.

Team leaders should be ousted if they fail their team members and the projects they are responsible for.

Imagine working on a 3D IDE like this, where you don't see the end of the code line because of the blur… lol

Media outlets should find better photo stock services for "hacker" images btw.

Say something am giving up on you!....

"Hey {name}",

I see you did this raspberry pi project and this is why we called you in for an interview.

Have you done any projects that's relevant to the company? Because your pi project isn't exactly what we're looking for

I know we advertised back end and front end roles for this position. You would be ideal for the front end position ...but our team is backend and the front end position would be at another office

I am so frustrated with companies like these

I got rejected by a unknown beautiful girl and now i dont know what to do. I can't sleep.

Pretty much anything involving a computer?

Unrelated task -> this feels sorta boring, is there a better way... -> thinks about automating it -> starts coding

`This is not over......................Young man...`

Is what I say to my IDE everyday before heading home

Just when I was getting used to working from home, my stupid friend made my life even more hell.

I live in a 1 bhk apartment. It's just enough for 3 guys to live comfortably. Now this stupid friend has brought in 3 of his friends since lockdown started and it looks like they are here to stay unless offices start functioning again.

I'm not a smoker and I don't like drinking every other day. Ever since his friend's moved in, it smells like I'm living in a chimney and they drink evey other day.

I don't like their lifestyle or work ethics. I try to blend in but it's a hell here for me trying to focus on my work and goals.

I'm just lucky they haven't brought in any corona yet.

I'm currently interviewing for a new job and I hope it will help me get out of this shit hole as soon as possible.

I have declined their offer for me to drink because I really want this new job. Now, I'm that odd guy in the group who doesn't drink or smoke.

Smh

Ughhhhhh. This fucking code is a disaster! The guy says he built it DRY, but it's WET as fuck! So much fucking repeated code!

I'm annoyed most because I know that it'd be a fucking waste of time to try and rebuild what these guys have built over the past 5 years, but goddamn it, it shouldn't be an excuse to keep on making code like this!

I know that I'm not super experienced in C# but pick up a goddamn book on good coding practices. This thing is a disjointed mess and it never had to get this way.

So many fucking interfaces!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Soooo might turn into the lead developer of the web services of 2 fucking schools with the manpower of 2 for which one of us ain't even a developer all because HR put my lead developer in the hospital and he might be so fucking fed up that he may not come back to work.

Fuck
Human
Resources

Holy fuck man.....I was already a lead mobile developer before and i fucking hated every minute of it and the pay raise ain't even gonna be worth it for the ammount of shit that i am going to be required to do.

Fuck this, fingers crossed man I really want my boy to come back cuz I don't wanna deal with this bullshit.

I seriously never thought i would be in this position and by heavens i have been in some shit before.

Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Fingers crossed my boy gets better man fr.

Was logging in my student account to check whether the system actually registered my admission and here I go.

And this is not just some college. This is a website every engineering student shall use throughout the country.

Also this is not the first time this happened.

If the option is disabled
You can still use it
To get a nice error

Who the fuck came up with this shit???

!rant, but kinda

My new director wants to buy a solution for a portal environment that my institution currently has. I have no qualms over it. My only issue was the company that sells it to be known to provide close to 0 fucking support when shit arises.

During a presentation we were told that they were using state of the art JAVA technology to render items on the page and that their ApI was easy for devs to grasp. This caught my attention since I know of very few and obscure Java frameworks that work with frontend tech (as in, your frontend logic is legit in Java)

The sales people proceed to show us React. Obviously thinking that no one knows what REact was. The dude continues with "This is new Java tech" all proud and shit prompting me to interject that it is "Javascript" the dude brushes it away saying "same thing" to which I reply with "Negative, please make sure that you properly discern Java from Javascript since Java is to Javascript as car is to carpet, completely different environments" the dude sarcastically says that "oh well, didn't know one of the people here was more aware of our own technology than we are" to which I say "and not only that, but the final say in us adopting your tech is mine, so I would rather you keep the sarcasm and the attitude to yourself, bring in a tech person if need be and learn these distinctions since we don't work with Java"

My new director later on went to talk to me since he apparently thought that Java and JS were related in some way. I can't really fault it, last time the dude touched programming was in the early 2000s, previous boss was a C and COBOL developer, but the previous dude would ALWAYS take my word no questions ask, this dude was there asking me if I was sure that Javascript and Java were really completely different environments asking me to show him.

I do not like to be questioned. I shoot the shit here and don't really involve myself with more technical aspects under this platform unless it involves concrete architecture discussions and even there I really don't care with engaging on a forum concerning that. But concerning my job I really.......really do not like to be questioned by people that know way the fuck less than me. I started coding when I was 17, I am 30 now, with a degree and years of experience. I really hate to be questioned by this dude.

Yesterday was release day for a project, never been too nervous like I am now, why? Because of the amount of chaos in this project, I cannot predict the behavior of the system, anything might just break T_T

BITCH THE APPLICATION WORKS PERFECTLY FINE!!! ITS NOT MY FAULT THE DATA YOU GAVE ME WAS FUCKED UP LIKE YOUR BLOODY FUCKING FACE YOU SHIT HEAD COMPUTER ILLITERATE IN THIS DAY AND AGE SON OF A BITCH

My gf drew this for me after I complained about JS

me: i dont wanna get out of bed to check the code, i feel so comfy and lazy

me: *after 10 mins* dammit, need to change this, need to change that, its still fucked up, why is this wrong *codes more*

So they were renovating the toilets on my floor this week and despite all the noise from the drilling and taking down walls I was very productive 😍

Most memorable co-worker was a daft idiot.
this was 10 years ago - I was working as a junior in my very first job, fresh out of uni, for a very small startup. It was me, and the 3 founders, for a very long time. Then this old (45, from my perspective then..) dev was hired.
This guy had no idea how to do the job. no common sense. the code confused him. the founders confused him. I was focusing on my work - and was unable to help him much with his. His only saving grace? He was a nice guy. Really nice.
But why was he so memorable, out of all the people I ever worked with? simple. He had a short term memory problem. Could not, even if he really tried, remember what he did yesterday.... when I asked him what his issue was, he decribed his life is like a car going in reverse in a heavy fog. "I can only see a short distance backwards, with no idea where I'm going".

Startup was sold to a big company. I became a teamlead/architect. He? someone decided he should be a PM.

1) Apply Vue.js to a real life project
2) Make a CMS for a private school (unluckily, they don't want a standard CMS)
3) Learning wisely of the mistakes I made this year with clients ("what if we added this?")

Fuuuuuck this.

The shit i see at work with some fucky codebases.

I should have just gone to music school.

Oh ya, i never shared that with you devrant fam. I was going for music school before comp sci.
:)

But yeah, wonder how that would have gone.

Like who the fuck uses tables anymore for websites. like Fuck. what the fuck is wrong with this company. then uses InDesign to make the websites and slices the images in Photoshop. this isn't the fucking stone ages. upgrade your shit. fucking design team wanna be responsive but fucking to lazy. so I have deal with their shit. when they complain about fucking image Sizes. I fucking hate this company.

OMFG I'm exhausted from the workload this last week, but everything is due this week and I'm totally ruined because everything is half done. Just murder me in my sleep please.

"thir" will be the new gender-inclusive form of "this".
Example:
thir.printPronouns();

!dev

I will never understand the need for weeding bs. I am ok with marriage, and doing whatever religious festivity you want to whatever deity you follow. I respect that stuff enough to not go all anti-religious or what not. But I just cannot fathom making a party that benefits the attendee (food whatnot) more than the people starting a life together. Gifts? a popularity contest? I don't get it. My weeding was simple, did not invite a bunch of people, shit burned bridges, but our families were there and that to me was more than enough. Anyone else that got offended, well, they can get offended whenever they pay one of my fucking bills.

But I just cannot get the need to have such a ceremony, AND then to have the audacity to get upset or call out people that cannot make it. Make it for fucking what? the bridge and groom are going to be so fucking distracted with everyone that at most your presence gets an "ah glad you came!"

AND some people even do it in different cities, fucking why? it is a burden as an adult to make time for such minute events, even more to take the time, and the fucking money to go to your fucking party on another city. Bonus points if I need to buy a fucking airplane ticket, no fucking thanks.

I am currently doing something big in my life that only my wife can help me with, because of my situation, my family can't help me, so i am all by myself and wife, and some people told me to put it on hold.....to go to a fucking party. WHY? Why in the sweet holy Mexican baby Ritchie would I go ahead and fucking do that? you are not going to help me afterwards when I get back, shit, you will be out on fucking vacation after the party, for 2 fucking weeks (talk about privilege) and you still want me to put my shit on hold to go...to a fucking party?

Fuck, sometimes I feel that I am toooo fucking egotistical to put my time before others, but man, you really get shit out of this. 2 weedings happening this month, one requires a ticket, the other is a drive away (4 fucking hours) but still, I really don't feel that I should waste my VL that I would much rather spend with my wife and child on some fucking obnoxious ego-inflated party.

"Our system has detected that this message is[nl]421-4.7.0 suspicious due to the very low reputation of the sending IP address"

Oh shit..

Note to self: Don't test on production servers. Gmail has now blocked my ass.

Why the fuck these managers can’t understand that you can’t build a full blown system with in a week. After building a demo driven application to show the client you can tell the client we are fucking ready to launch the damn thing . I FUCKING MENTIONED BEFORE GOING TO THE MEETING ITS NOT RELEASE READY GOD DAMN IT.

Now when I say we can’t launch this app we need to fix things . THE FUCKING MANAGER HAS THE GUTS TO SAY “one day is enough to fix the issues right ? Shouldn’t be a big deal for you to fix this” .

Kill me now 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

I'm getting to the point where every time I encounter a new bug to fix I die a little inside. So tired of stuff not working and as soon as I get one thing fixed another blows up. Unresolved problems and open loops keep me awake all night. I sometimes want to switch careers but what else is there for me after more than 2 decades of this? I guess I could flip burgers and mow lawns. The burger flippers make about what I made in my last job and the guy who mows my lawn makes twice that much.

I don't like it when my brain goes on a self conflicting spree after I fix a bug.

*** Fixes a bug and commits ***
Oh wait, it works but what if this happens? It'll break.

*** Thinks more on the correct solution this time ***
Oh wait, what I did was right! NVM.

*** Another situation comes to mind ***
Start thinking again. Same outcome.

Go through this a couple of times.

Aah, screw it. Will see when it breaks!

Welp, in 4 hours I have the first interview as a junior frontend web dev. I don't get my hopes too high, but I'll learn as much as I can from this experience. Wish me luck!

This is new .-.
By the way it is best to not include package-lock.json right?

So I'm approaching a 8 year anniversary working in IT and this feels like the first time needing to do a serious rant.

Today I've come across some code (infact just a single line) written by another company that is so fucking fundamentally stupid that they should be banned from writing any code ever. Like holy fuck.

This is textbook examples of shit never to do ever in any fucking environment or intranet/extranet etc. What the fuck. The fucking muppetry involved in this. This is what they teach novice programmers - you see this code written 20 years ago? Never fucking do this. You see this company that went bust 10 years ago? It was because of shit like this. Never ever write code like this or your 90kg ass will be thrown 300m by the greatest medieval fucking siege engine ever created after we throw you through the catastrophic gaping hole in time and space that your line of code just created.

Fucking fuckity bye.

And then, looking for the source of a bug in the code .... I randomly found this:

public bool IsOperationStarted { get; set; }

public bool IsOperationStartedTrue
{
get { return IsOperationStarted == true; }
}

public bool IsOperationStartedFalse
{
get { return IsOperationStarted == false; }
}

So this happened a few days ago.

Me: (chilling like a mo'fucka then suddenly an email alert)

*Opens email and realises it's from a recruiter*

Recruiter: We are a venture-based startup out of LA, funded by a top VC. We have developed the first turnkey Serverless Swift platform for app development.

We are looking at expanding our team and we have a few different openings for remote and contract work.

Simply reply to this email with your resume attached.

Me: Thanks for reaching out and presenting me with this opportunity.

I plan on going back to school this January and for that reason I humbly have to bow out.

I will surely keep an eye out for {company_name}. The idea is rather interesting I should say.

*I go back to chilling like a mo'fucka*

*The next day I'm at work, I get an email from the same recruiter again*

Recruiter: Thank you for submitting your resume.

We are expanding our team and are looking for Swift rockstars to join the movement of bringing server-side Swift to the masses.

We were impressed by your resume and wanted to get to know you better. This survey is the first step in that process.

Please take a moment and complete. It should not take longer than 10 minutes.

Me: ...........................
*Calmly walks away from my desk to the bathroom*

WHAT FUCKING RESUME HAVE I SUBMITTED TO YOU? BITCH, MY EMAIL EXPLICITLY SAID: THANKS BUT NO THANKS...

You can't just force an applicant

Creating a $__this variable in global scope in a shitty PHP application. Worst part was, he wrote it in my mother language ($__bu). Fuck that.

Why is every innovation trying to go towards "replacing programmers"? like, what have we done to you?

GitHub CoPilot will replace programmers!
AI will replace programmers!
This/That tech will replace programmers!

Nobody says,

"Programmers work remote so we don't need to hire managers anymore!"

"Programmers wrote a monitoring script for progress tracking, so no need for managers anymore!"

"We are asking people to install sprinklers everywhere so we don't need firefighters!"

"We can just have one teacher record the subject material once and re-use the same video every year, so now we don't need to hire teachers anymore!"

"We are making everything legal so we don't need to hire policemen!".

Why is everything trying to replace programmers?

sometimes explaining 'this' in js to an intern is like magic card trick. 'is THIS your card?' nope.

5000 scss file with the name global.scss styling.

How fucking dumb can you be to fucking mess up a clean component based architecture like Foundation or Bootstrap and fill it with shit in a single file.

No wonder WP gets shit. The legacy code is usually shit.

And to put the shit cherry on top. This motherfucker had a settings.scss file with all general components and he never used it.

Fucker put different font size in px everywhere! Fucking asshole!!!

This message was deleted.

I'm having way to many problems with my server... :(
I'm so close to just reinstalling everything at this point.. Buying a six-pack of Monster and doing it over night :/

Something that I absolutely hate about the IT industry:

When a feature is deployed the chain is like this:

Dev -> Testers -> QA -> Product Manager -> End User

But when things break in production and management wants to yell at the staff... only the devs get the heat and no one else, as if they weren't responsible for anything at all.

Really fucking hate it.

checkout ... wait uh

Oh MAIN ....

This is all very inconvenient.

> be me
> wake up 8:30 am
> sort and view notifications one by one.
> Manager sends text * can you do this? *
> * yes I can *
> goes back to notifications *so where was I? Ah this email.*
> *Please get it done by the end of the day*, another text by the manager.
> I ignore that.
> Manager spams me till I reply
> I hate my life

I guess it would have been the school choice back then. Teachers were almost all really bad, going though a powerpoint at mad speed instead of making sure we got it, and the other students were elitists: you don't know how to code / use this framework? Why haven't you commit suicide yet?

This school was a big part of how I lost all confidence in myself, and how hard to build it back. And the major actor of my depression. Yay.

"I hate this in javascript, because I never know what it is referring to."

Read this joke here some months ago. Today i learned why it's so funny

well, that escalated quickly...
today a coworker was asked if he could write a query to find customers which placed orders matching some criterias. so far so good. he write the query and put the result into a spreadsheet and gave it to the lead.
"i need it in another format" (he did not specify any format before nor did he tell which columns he is interested in). 2 hours later the query was finished.
then, the coworker got a call from the leader. he wants to see us both in his office.
"okay, we need to write a personalized mail to every customer with the orders in a spreadsheet as an attatchment. we also need this on paper as not everyone reads our mail. we want to send letters. the whole process needs to be finished in half a day and we want it automated. i do not want to have one of the sales department waste 2 hours writing stuff himself".

well, you can imagine my thoughts on that.

the personalized text is not finished. we wasted another 3 hours thinking about how to solve this crap.
luckily i have some projects from the past which can do this shit with some changes... but what the fucking hell was this?

Latex, can you for once be nice and not fuck up my images, please?

Can you stop pushing this image which you clearly have enough space for to the next page and leave the previous page completely empty??

Me: I am feeling pretty good. I am at home where it's cold, watching tv with my kid and gonna wait for my wife to get here so that I can go to the gym!

My stomach: FUCK U NIUKKA *PAIN/NAUSEA/MOREFUCKING PAIN*

If organs would just grow on trees i would have snapped this fucking asshole from my stomach a longass fucking time ago.

So apparently you can't make collabs from the web app.. The '+' is for a new rant. This sucks because I had things I wanted to paste in.

I get it. Hooks prevent code repetition. But personally I hate them. I don’t know why. I just don’t like writing them. Maybe it’s because I like writing “this”. Weird, right?

Sooooo.....
I just spend roughly 5 hours trying to get a Laravel Homestead up and running. Constantly jumping from one error to the other, getting nowhere.

Turns out that,
...
...
I NEVER FUCKING GENERATED A BLOODY SSH KEY
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
AN ENTIRE DAY WASTED
JESUS CHRIST

I swear, I'm way too junior for like 95% of this shit....

Haha this is the first time ever I have had to play catchup on a class as much as I am currently doing with one inside of my graduate program :V it has been absolute hell man.

On one side I love the concept and topics and will definitely dig more shit on it for myself for future reference and application. On the other the instructor and his OVER THE TOP CHINESE ACCENT will forever hunt my dreams and provide for major pain.

Can't wait for this class to be ovee. Sadly i might not get the grade that I want, but I know I am gonna pass it.

Never man. I ain't no brainiac, but I know for a fact that I have never done so poorly in a class in my entire life and I honest to heavens blame it on this dude not being able to explain shit properly or provide feedback on a timely basis.

So this is the case I have not coded in a long while and was actually starting to miss it. I was LITRALLY considiring starting to code again, then i went on devrant and read about two rants and you know what? Im good i dont wanna start code again