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This was at my previous and last internship. At previous ones i never got serious tasks so i was pretty used to that but one day my guider (lead backend programmer) called me over to help him out with a server issue (in all seriousness he said that i was probably the best Linux guy at that company at that moment). So i fixed it quickly and just out of curiousity i asked what kinda server it was and how many visitors it got monthly!

"it's a prod server and about one million at least i think"

I was just standing there for a minute and then asked why the hell he let me, an intern, work on that to which he replied: because you know what the fuck you're doing. I think I succeeded in hiding the tears of happiness that came up at that moment :) i fucking miss that place.

FUCK YOU SHITTY FUCKING DICK HEAD!!!.. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT "YOU'RE A PROGRAMMER... YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP!"... OR "SUCH A SHITTY PROGRAMMER YOU ARE... DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX MY COMPUTER"... OR "CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APP?... IT'S LIKE OTHER APP BUT BETTER, I CAN'T GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS BECAUSE IT'S CONFIDENCIAL, SO YOU GOT TO DO IT WHIT OUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE TO DO"... GO TO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TRUCK FULL OF DONKEYS FUCKING IDIOT!!!... STOP TALKING BULLSHIT AND GET AND FUCKING LIFE YOU ASSHOLE!!!... sorry about my english for those who read

Why? Just why?

Me: "ok for the following changes you must pay the following charge because it's not in the scope"
Customer: "bUt tHiS Is Not whAt I wanT, wOnT pAY thE ResT iF yoU arE nOt DoiN It blablabla"
Marketing: "please do it for him"
Fuck me.

My life is too short to remove USB safely

Excuse me boss!

During increment time
Boss : There are 50 bricks on an Plane. If u drop 1 outside. How many
are left?

Employee : That's easy, 49.

Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge

Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.

Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.

Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Employee : She crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday

Boss : Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?

Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...

Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the Plane that's the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!

Moral: If your boss has decided to screw u, no matter How much u prepare u will be screwed.

the best part about bools is that if you are wrong, you're only off by a bit

Call comes down from the CEO and through his "Yes Man" that some investors are coming by to visit and he want to show off the data center and test servers. There are four full racks of storage servers filled with HDDs and each server has 4 to 16 HDDs a piece.
I got told to "make all of the lights blink", which can be epic seeing it in action but my test cycles rarely aligned that way.

All morning I was striping RAID arrays and building short mixed I/O tests to maximize "LED blinking" for the boss's henchman.

Investors apparently live/die by blinking light progress and it was all on me to get everything working.

Is it just me or do all the devs on devRant get requests to fix printers? 🤔🤔

Hahahaha ... 😂

Windows 7 never dies.
Photo taken 10 minutes before a huge rain.

My boss to me: Holy shit dude I think you have very serious case of OCD.

Me: :/

Sooo trueee...

A.I.s can code? Then I'll be this guy

Am I the only one who's bothered by the fact that in CSS, "!important" doesn't mean "not important" ?

When ransomeware guys provide better customer support than most companies 😂

developers with non coding girlfriends.
you know when you can work on your projects........... when she sleeps!!

Memory Lane

so since I'm a developer I get told to fuck off when I don't know how to fix some stupid printer 😀

My new debugging buddy!

This should be the cable management standard it would take so long but keep it tidy.

In the middle of my workout and all I can focus on is this treadmill display's terrible UI... Looks like a zoom button but actually increases the speed.

You know you're a front-end dev when...

Its time to learn kotlin. Whos with me!?

Anon thinks about replacing Car ECU with Raspberry Pi 3
>>Other anons think that there is only one ECU and its only used to control critical functions

/g/ is a weird gold mine 😂😂😂

Client: I put a signed copy of my contract on my website, like someone told me to do, so that people can click a button, download it and sign it. I'm having the problem of people changing the contract before they send it back to me. Can you fix that?

Me: Yes. Take your contact off of your website.

Client: ok, my next question is: can you make it so that I can use the phone and the internet at the same time? Someone told me that I couldn't. I have cable internet I think. (She was remembering dial-up)

Every topic began with "someone told me ..."

This client is going to be .... interesting.