Don't send me a confirmation email that I successfully unsubscribed from your list you shit nugget.

Saw a question on SO... Wanted to answer... Click description image... Saw this... Left.

Devs regularly complain that our skills are not valued enough and that people think what we do is easy.

But, we don't really help the cause when we run around casually claiming to be "full stack" and not turning down work that clearly isn't in our area of competence.

We act more like Victorian amateur scientists.

Every seen a "full stack" doctor when you go to hospital? "Brain to feet---I can do it all."

OK, we have general practitioners, but they are really the BAs of the medical world. When it comes to getting into the weed, everyone specializes.

Full stack lawyer? "Hey, you did an excellent job of dealing with my house purchase. I've just been accused of murder. Can you represent me?"

While we continue to say that we can provide a high quality "full stack" experience I think we are signaling that this stuff *is* easy.

If you haven't seen the video instructions for how to factory reset GE's smart light bulbs.

STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND WATCH: https://youtube.com/watch/...

Theres also a twitter thread about this which includes screenshots of their instructions on how to count 2 seconds: https://twitter.com/NumbersMuncher/...

This is what happens when you hire a product manager with no experience and put them in charge of engineering, design, UX (who we kidding they def don't have one of these) etc. This is just magical

I think I've been inspired...

Hitler sort: Delete every odd element.

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

2. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.

3. A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

4. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC

5. Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.

6. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself

7. In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.

8. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#

9. What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte

10. Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache

11. Why did the geek add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his Facebook profile?
He wanted to keep a low profile.

12. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

13. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

14. 8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."

15. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

16. These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

17. "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."

18. If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

19. There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.

20. There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

YOUR MAMA SO FAT SHE CAN'T STORE FILES LARGER THAN 4 GB.

I'll show myself out.

Guys, calm down.
By the end of the month, GDPR will take place and the mails “should” have an end.

IMO GDPR is a great thing, we should be thankful instead of complaining..

Happy coding to y’all

I’ll be able to actually delete my WhatsApp account:)

Im learning python(it's my first real programming language) and I finally understood for loops.... yeeeey

Deep learning!

–Can you recommend me a GDPR expert?
–Yes!
–Can I have their email address?
–No!

Sometimes this happen to me

Hey! How do I do machine learning?

Well first you start off with a metric shit ton of data.
And then you .fit() your data
from there you can .predict() your data

Trust me, the algorithms are already there. All you need to do is get the data.

Wrote my first Gnome Shell extension.

It shows the propability that my favourite streamer on Twitch streams today with a statistical algorithm I only wrote for this purpose.

I feel a bit cool now, yeah, maybe more than I should.
But it's so exciting!

Before my forensic teacher allows us to leave, he always says, "git."

I think he's from the south which is why he says that, but I always have the urge to finish it off by saying, "hub."

New senior dev joined the project today.
Senior dev: "There's no way for me to test my changes before I merge this into develop"
Me: "Can you at least run our test suite?"
An hour later the develop branch is fucked and everyone who has merged it locally has pages of red errors splattered across their screens whenever they run any tests.
Start looking into what the fuck is going on.
Notice that all the errors are related to changes the new guy made.
Ask him if he ran the tests..
Senior dev: "Nah they wouldn't catch anything locally "
Stare at the stream of red text running down my screen.
Normally I wouldn't care but we were trying to prepare a release... RUN THE FUCKING TESTS ASSHOLE.

Linux user on a Windows machine: "ugh, this is terrible."
Windows user on a Linux machine: "I don't know what I'm doing."

Today i was working in my office then suddenly i remembered that i have to buy a valentine day gift for my girl....

So i quickly pull out my cellphone and started doing Google and typed this...

Well then i realized why Google suggestions disappeared... 😂😂😂

Came across this and wanted to share it with everyone here! Haha

try {
❤
} catch(e) {
🍺
}

Waiting for this day....

This is a valid point.

MediaMarkt (Gernany)

Laughed more than I'd like to admit tbh

"Coding is solving puzzles".

I think everyone has heard that platitude. But it's not exactly right.

So I grew up in a very poor environment, a moldy building full of jobless addicts.

And in my town there was this shop where super poor parents could take their kids to borrow free toys and stuff.

So as a kid I remember being frustrated by these second hand jigsaw puzzles, because there were always a few pieces which had been teared up or chewed on, or were even completely missing.

That is what development is.

You pull in this seemingly awesome composer package, and that one super useful method is declared private, so you need to fork the whole thing.

Your coworker has built this great microservice in python, but instead of returning 404 not found, it returns 200 with json key/value saying "error": "not found".

There's a shitload of nicely designed templates for the company website, but half of them have container divs inside the components, the other half expect to be wrapped in container divs when included.

You're solving puzzles, but your peers are all brainless jigsaw-piece-chewers. They tried to mend a problem, but half way through got distracted, hungry and angry, started drooling over the task and used a hammer to fit in the remaining stuff.

Linux:

the joy of breaking things and then fixing them again

To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.

UTF-8 is love, UTF-8 is life ♥️

Did you know?
This rant is a part of the 3 quintillion bytes of data that the world generated today.