MMMH DEVELOPER PRODUCTIVITY IS NOT THAT GREAT... YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL MAKE SURE THEY SPEND 90% OF THEIR TIME IN FUCKING CONFERENCE CALLS, THAT IS SURELY GOING TO HELP THEM GET THEIR JOB DONE

Some manager at my company, probably.

What if I could focus on coding 🤔 instead of
• meetings
• bureaucracy
• freezing in my apartment
• asking dumb questions
• procrastinating

Just my opinion, but Code reviews are a shit practice. In my previous company, we used to have one every Saturday. I presented my code and when everyone couldn't find anything to bitch/moan about, they said my code isn't "aesthetic" to look at. It's because I wrote this

if(condition)
do_thing;

instead of

if(condition) {
do_thing;
}

I cringe everytime I remember that incident.

We aren't allowed to boil water BOIL WATER

"We have to get Climate Neutral until we decided for a plan the kitchen is closed"

FUCK YOU I JUST WANT TO ENJOY MY COFFEE WHICH I CAN'T DRINK IN MY OFFICE ANYMORE BECAUSE OF SAME BULLSHIT

I get it we have to become climate neutral but holy fuck this can't be part of the solution to not use the kitchen anymore....

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

Right Ctrl be like - You guys are getting clicked? XD

Just applied for a position at pornhub. Wish me luck !

To all developers who think "I don't need to delete that one 1KB temp file"

FUCK.YOU.

You are not the only garbage developer who does not clean his shit up. The reason we need TERA FUCKING BYTE storage devices nowadays is because you incompetent shit heads have no idea how an application has to properly work. A temp file is not there to exist for ever. HENCE THE FUCKING WORD TEMPORARY

Deadly = new name of deadline

White ide theme users!!!! 😂😂😂

It's better quitting a job then quitting your life.

Also a big “fuck you” to whoever decided under any circumstance holding the power button down on a computer case meant anything other than shut this mother fucker all the way down and try the fuck again.

Gahhh. When I hold the power button I don’t what you to sleep, I want you to die! I’m electronically smothering your bitch ass. When I’m holding down the power button to restart, the computer should feel like it’s being waterboarded! Like these may be it’s last moments on Earth if it doesn’t act right and get in compliance! No it’s not nap time, it’s time to shut up or shut down...forever!