Never let customers define the priority levels. It will end in:
- Normal (never used)
- High (used for small text changes)
- Higher
- OMG fix now
- Highest
- the World is ending if this doesn't get fixed now
- different existential plane of priority
- Priority ∞ + 1

I don't care about money, girls, fancy cars, big houses, fame...

I want stars on my GitHub repo

Visual Studio sucks.
Atom sucks.
Sublime Text sucks.

Windows Movie Maker is the real editor for code.

So how has coding impacted my life?

I lost 54 kgs. My girlfriend I mean.

Comment your own code.

"But nobody except me will see..."

COMMENT YOUR OWN CODE!!!

Windows is being an over-achiever today

Waiting for this day....

​​​​​​

After years of game dev!

Only in computer science you'll find that root is on the top of the tree and that parent may kill it's child after its function is no longer needed.

Password field unique in database.

Phoney call from MS:
- We at Microsoft have detected an issue with your PC.
- Oh, I only have a Mac.
- But that is fine, I will transfer you to the Mac department...

Q: Why did the databases administrator leave his wife?

A: She had one-to-many relationship

TOP 10 PROGRAMMING BEST PRACTICES

#1 Start numbering from 0.
#10 Sort elements in lexicographic order for readability.
    #2 Use consistent indentation.
#3 use Consistent Casing.
#4.000000000000001 Use floating-point arithmetic only where necessary.
#5 Not avoiding double negations is not smart.
#6 Not recommended is Yoda style.
#7 See rule #7.
#8 Avoid deadlocks.
#9 ISO-8859 is passé - Use UTF-8 if you ▯ Unicode.
#A Prefer base 10 for human-readable messages.
#10 See rule #7.
#10 Don't repeat yourself.

Me: That's not how browsers work.

Designer: Well, our users need it.

Me: Uh, I'm not arguing with your idea, but no browser supporters that kind of thing

Designer: Well, figure it out because it's not optional.

Me: ... I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm saying that's not something we can do.

Designer: So, what will it take? What do we need to do to get this in?

Me (not actually): motherfucker this isn't a negotiation! I'm not arguing I'm fucking explaining the limitations of web apps!

Meanwhile, in real life...

Only a true master will know the right one

Microsoft mentioned devRant on Twitter

When you've been only doing web dev for a while:

Long time, no c

Your mama's so FAT she can't save files bigger than 4GB.