I love how "shotgun debugging" works.

Let's say the microwave doesn't work. I put my burrito in it, press buttons. Nothing happens.

Any sane person would trace the possible cause: Check if it is plugged in, maybe the fuse is blown? Nah, we don't have time for this: Let's try shotgunning it!

- Turn the burrito upside down.
- Try aligning the burrito in different cardinal directions.
- Press random buttons
- Remove burrito wrapper
- Separate burrito into single components, sort them onto a plate in a nifty layout and try microwaving that.
- Remove each component of the sorted burrito plate and try microwaving the plate with less and less items.
- Try microwaving each separate item and then later reassembling them back into burrito to see if it gets heated after the act.
- Try putting a cat on top of the microwave.
- Pour water on cat
- Notice a strong reaction involving water and the cat.
- Try catching the cat for additional testing.
- Go to the hospital to get stitches on your open wounds.

Later write a bug report to the maintainer: "Microwave doesn't work. Tracked the issue down to the moisture level of the cat, additional testing needed."

Immagine that you microwave a burrito, and it turns out perfectly. But if you add one grain of salt to it, the microwave will blow up. That's what the code I'm working in right now is like...

😿🔫

Have you worked on something impressive and wanted to tell a non-programmer about it?
You start to figure out a way to say it, but then you decide 'nah they will not get it'.

But you still want to talk about it with someone so bad... Its super unsatisfying to not be able to explain this tech shit to the people you like.

If you were a pilot, you could say shit like 'i landed a plane during a storm while eating a burrito' and everyone would be like omg thats amazing.

What do I have to say? I made an auto pilot system for a plane, so that a pilot can land it during storm while eating a fucking burrito.. what's their response?

ehm okay <crickets chirping>
🖕🖕

After eating nothing but fresh food/ingredients for the past year, I ordered a carne asada burrito from Cafe Rio. I remember liking them, and it tastes just like I remember, but I'm amazed at how little flavor it has by comparison. It's maybe a third as flavorful as my salads? A quarter? ☹

Eating well really spoils you.

With the winter months fast approaching I am putting serious consideration into smuggling a blanket into my desk drawer after hours so that when it gets really cold due to the a/c, I can just whip out the blanket and code at work wrapped up like a burrito.

Yes, for sure, there will be looks, but I don't much care and it'll also be the day remembered as the day someone brought blankets into work.

Just got another free burrito because they don't seem to deduct the reward points from the app but keep giving me more...

I love when you stare at a problem for like an hour, then go eat a burrito, ten come back and instantly realise the solution

So, today in the office we all decided chipotle for lunch. We create the team order and sent it out to the entire office.

First thing we noticed: online ordering looks really good and has finally been updated.
Second thing we noticed: it never got tested and it doesn't work

Result: 7 angry developers who just wanted some burrito bowls start emailing chipotle tech support

Sick for two days, stuck in bed like a blanket burrito unable to code. :-(

Shaking my fist - devs with grand architecture plans that they never follow through on, and try to get everyone else to do the work. Or when they fuck up never stepping up and taking responsibility and just leaving the fallout for everyone else to deal with. Follow through, damnit that's all I'm asking for.

A friend gave me a couple of Corona beers as a joke and now I can't decide on what quarantine burrito to make.
chicken with rice & beans or BBQ pork with coleslaw?

Every time you give me a CSV to import, why is it arranged differently to the last one, missing info that is required for the point of the thing I'm importing it into, and I have to spend 2 hours going through it with a text editor and even a hex editor? Your data entry is about as clean as my arse after a particularly spicy burrito.