I have to let it out. It's been brewing for years now.

Why does MySQL still exist?

Really, WHY?!
It was lousy as hell 8 years ago, and since then it hasn't changed one bit. Why do people use it?

First off, it doesn't conform to standards, allowing you to aggregate without explicitly grouping, in which case you get god knows what type of shit in there, and then everybody asks why the numbers are so weird.

Second... it's $(CURRENT_YEAR) for fucks sake! This is the time of large data sets and complex requirements from those data sets. Just an hour through SO will show you dozens of poor people trying to do with MySQL what MySQL just can't do because it's stupid.

Recursion? 4 lines in any other large RDBMS, and tough luck in MySQL. So what next? Are you supposed to use Lemograph alongside MySQL just because you don't know that PostgreSQL is free and super fast?

Window functions to mix rows and do neat stuff? Naaah, who the hell needs that, right? Who needs to find the products ordered by the customer with the biggest order anyway? Oh you need that actually? Well you should write 3-4 queries, nest them in an incredibly fucked up way, summon a demon and feed it the first menstrual blood of your virgin daughter.

There used to be some excuses in the past "but but but, shared hosting only has MySQL". Which was wrong by the way. This was true only for big hosting names, and for people who didn't bother searching for alternatives. And now it's even better, since VPS and PaaS solutions are now available at prices lower than shared hosting, which give you better speed, performance and stability than shared hosting ever did.

"But but but Wordpress uses MySQL" - well then kill it! There are other platforms out there, that aren't just outrageously horrible on the inside and outside. Wordpress is crap, and work on it pays crap. Learn Laravel, Symfony, Zend, or even Drupal. You'll be able to create much more value than those shitty Wordpress sites that nobody ever visits or pay money on.

"But but but my client wants some static pages presented beside their online shop" - so why use Wordpress then? Static pages are static pages. Whip up a basic MVC set-up in literally any framework out there, avoid MySQL, include a basic ACL package for that framework, create a controller where you add a CKEditor to edit page content, and stick a nice template from themeforest for that page and be done with that shit! Save the mock-up for later use if you do that stuff often. Or if you're lazy to even do that, then take up Drupal.

But sure, this is going a bit over the scope. I actually don't care where you insert content for your few pages. It can be a JSON file for all I care. But if I catch you doing an e-commerce solution, or anything else than just text storage, on MySQL, I'll literally start re-assessing your ability to think rationally.

Porting of a huge web application from ZF1 to Laravel 5.5.

In summary:
1. approx. 200,000 lines of spaghetti code (ZF1)
2. approx. 2500 custom Javascript files
3. approx. 600 CSS files
4. hundreds of node modules and libraries
5. 12 different layouts (Home, Member, Admin,...)
6. ...
7. ...
8. ...
...

I've got six days to get this done. God help me.

Ok so I was talking to my computer science teacher earlier and he said that he would rather use vim over PHPStorm for creating a laravel project. WTF!

Normally I would be cool with it, but he has pushed faulty code to git over 8 times. I'm just done.

Kay! Why people think remote job is less then a onsite job? Excuse me? I also work remotely. Okay I get it that onsite you have to go onsite through bus or blah blah , but your hours are not counting by a tracker and not getting SS every 2 min. My family doesn't understand that I have to be on my laptop for at least 7-8 hours.

Their reaction is :" why the food is not ready?"
" I am doing work"
"So what? You are home!"

And WHY LARAVEL COMPOSER UPDATE IS SO DAMN SLOW

TLDR; read the last alinea, my train just arrived and I am typing this after the resr of the rant

So lately there's been a lot of hate on here to PHP, which for now I'd say feel offended if you want to, but fuck all of the guys hating on a language without personal experience or even just plain "I used it for a week or less"-experience.

Noticed I said "a", yes I am not just talking about hate on PHP. It's pretty much the stupidest thing one can do, exclude a programming language you might like more than you will think at this moment. I present to you; My first few weeks of internship last year.

So last year I had to find a company to do an internship at with two classmates, none of them replied with a come over for a talk except a company mainly working in Laravel (PHP).

All of us didnt like php at the time, me possibly even hating it the most, but that didnt keep us from taking the leap of faith and just going to the company for a talk, I mean it couldnt hurt right?

So after the talk we had a place for an internship, which we all thought we were all going to hate, because of PHP.

Now a few weeks into the internship (3 / 10 weeks I'd say) we had basically just gotten done with the first setup of the project we had to build. And we noticed after a good 2 or 3 weeks that it didn't feel like too much of a different language.

Personally I even found it better than C# or Java, which were the only other languages I knew at the time.

Now keep in mind I still like C# and Java, allthough guven the chance I'll choose PHP everyday over both.

But I learned more things I was expecting to learn those 10 internship-weeks, with the one thing I am writing about being the main focus:

Stop hating, try the language out for at least a week (yes 5 * 8 hours) and then make an educated decission based on your findings throughout the week, you might be surprised...

Damn Laravel 8 changed...

This whole Jetstream thing is kinda cool and infuriating....

I love the features but hate the code. I want ny laravel pug views back. Q_Q

Best way to add user role permissions in laravel 8

Backend wise

After a year and a half of working with what i love (nodejs microservices and bit of python) I have to update my php skills and refresh my memory with latest Laravel 😕 (I used it as an authentication/authorisation and REST backend for a react native app early 2016 and did not touch it since)

Passive Job hunting sux and yes PHP ain't my thing anymore 😔 i mean i have next to 6-8 years exp in it but given the choice... 😒

I used to love it (so many good memory with cakephp 😌🙄it teached me a lot early in my carrer) before I discover functional programming paradigm and got deep understanding of JS

In laravel version 8 what new changes ?