Since when did supreme become apple? 🤔

You're about as accurate as an uncalibrated NavX module.
(FRC jokes)

Ok so I'm a student so I don't have a boss but man this one kid who is the lead of my programming team. I swear he works with a 10ft pole up his a**. Maybe that's why he is so tall 🤔. Anyways he is a nerd and by far my LEAST favorite person ever. I wish nothing but BSODs in his future. He is a devrant user but I'm not gonna name him to hurt his feelings. *cough* ewpratten *cough* but im.pretty sure he copy pastas 🍝 his code from stack schools and pastes it in our mainframe robot.

#BSODToPratten

Ok so I'm a high school student in grade 11 looking to get a degree in computer sciences. I looked at the requirements for big Universitys in Canada and they say you only NEED calculous and vectors and no sciences. I wasn't sure if not taking sciences will impact my acceptance probability or if any of you got accepted to universities without highschool science.

TLDR; sometimes I want to murder my friends.

Pratten: Hey Ethan can you image the robotics programming laptops?

Me: Yeah sure no problem. Let me just make a custom windows iso with all the software we need so I don't have to deal with installers after the fact.

Pratten: Ok great!

Me: *makes custom ISO compiles it and puts it on usbs*

Pratten: hey could you also add drivers station?

Me: uggggg... *Recreates iso and preps bootable flash drives*

Me: IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED?

Pratten: nope that should do it ;;;)

Me: ok great. *flashes laptops and runs install. (they're old so it takes a while)

Pratten: ok good job thanks. Did you install *NOT PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED TOOL SUITE 1* or *NOT PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED NEWER TOLL CHAIN THAT ONLY HE KNOWS HOW TO GET* ? If not I'll have you install those later.

Me: *suicides*

The Slack API is as pleasant as crabs from a street hooker

Smooth one GCP

Just bought a $600 blazer for absolutely no fucking reason. What am I doing with my life

So our teacher just has us sign up for a learning site called Gizmos with a ton of students information. A lot of students forgot their password as always and some didn't register with an email so I expected the teacher to reset them..

Then the teacher had students come up to the front of the f****** class and SHOWED THEM THEIR PASSWORD IN PLAIN TEXT. WHAT THE HELL

What the f***

This is super childish but it's the gameserver insidstry and karma is a bitch.

TLDR: I hacked my boss

I was working for a gameserver and I did development for about 3 months and was promised pay after the network was released. I followed through with a bunch of dev friends and the guy ended up selling our work. He didn't know that I was aware of this as he tried to tell people to not tell us but one honest person came forward and said he sold our work for about 8x the price of what he owed ALL OF US collectively.

I proceeded to change the server password and when he asked why he couldn't log in I sent him an executable (a crypted remote access tool) and told him it was an "encryption tunnel" that makes ssh and file transfers secure. Being the idiot that he is he opened it and I snagged all of his passwords including his email and I changed them through a proxy on his machine to ensure I wouldn't get two factored with Google. After I was done I deleted system 32 :3

Make something that people actually use

Physically copy the git project's folder, change his terminals directory into it to test then move the files he edited to the original folder and commit back.

Your ++'s are now in binary! It helps reduce server load

Fuck PHP scientific notation

Comsci teacher just ran "php artisan migrate:fresh" on the production database

Ok what the fuck. My mom decided to take a photo of a half ass server with a ziptied storage controller card and post it on her story and said "geekmom life". Like bitch you aren't even a geek, you just buy me shit it doesn't make you a geek. Also of all the things you could have taken a photo of, you take a photo of my unfinished half ass home lab! Like please people

Finding a girl that likes me and doesn't expect me to change my career scope?

When you are waiting in the cold for first robotics with a bunch of devrant users and one of them complains about being cold.

So hype for our first First Robotics competition in Barrie Canada with @ewpratten and @hyperlisk. It's going to be awesome!

I tried to download a 441GB torrent with a gigabit down and I ended up crashing my garbage router

My girlfriend stole my fucking devrant sweater.

My FIRST robotics team 5024 is ordering sweaters and I can put anything I want on the back as my code name sortof thing. What is witty that I can put on it?

So our robotics team just got some code ready and our robots servos are reading hardware fault. Fml

Okay let me admit to a crime on devrant real quick. Once broke into my school board, the idiots left old credentials in the panther folder and I used those to gain local admin, log into a remote server in their network and use mimikatz to extract a domain admin password hash then pass the hash and create a skeleton key as a domain admin.

One kid decided to tell me that I couldn't hack, I proceeded to extract all of his info from the provincial student info system called trillium and read him out his info in class. Long story short this was a year ago and I got suspended, but I never admitted to hacking. I said I just doxxed him 😁

Solved a complex puzzle on a website for a local ecommerce business, mind you in 16 and not really looking for a job but an unpaid internship would look beautiful on a resume or university application.

They wanted to see some of my code and give me a tour and none of them despite them being PHP developers for Magento could wrap their heads around laravel or how the routing worked. They also didn't understand and raw PHP whatsoever. I lost all faith and walked out of their office when they asked why I was using prepared statements and how they worked. That was after finding out that they don't understand cloud scalability whatsoever or common security practices.

My dad was an IT and as a kid when our NES broke and I couldn't play Mario he showed me F-22 lightning (an aerial combat game) and I thought the missiles were fireworks. I always called it the airplanes and fireworks game. Good memories.

Holy shit Mozilla's game plan just revolutionized

Looking at laravels source code and organization

I'm working on a project with a teacher to overview the project at my school to be responsible for the confidential student data...

Teacher: How are we going to authenticate the kiosk machines so people don't need a login?

Me: Well we can use a unique URL for the app and that will put an authorized cookie on the machine as well as local IP whitelisting.

Teacher: ok but can't we just put a secret key in a text file on the C drive and access it with JavaScript?

Me: well JavaScript can't access your drive it's a part of the security protocol built into chrome...

Teacher: well that seems silly! There must be a way.

Me: Nope definately not. Let's just make a fancy shortcut?

Teacher: Alright you do that for now until I find a way to access that file.

I want to quit this project so bad