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There’s a fundamental difference between development and other jobs.
Doctor: Hey! My left arm is hurting and has been swollen for a while, I think it might be sprained. *pays $100*
Taxi Driver: Hey! Can you ride me over to this exact address? Thanks. *pays $20 + tip*
Construction Worker: I’m going to need this exact item in the blueprint built here with these materials. *pays $1000*
Mechanic: This part of my car isn’t working correct and it displays this exact warning. *pays $100*
Developer: Yo I need a cool free website that looks pretty awesome with like rainbows and stuff by tomorrow.18 -
!dev
The moment I saw a bird laying on the balcony, unresponsive, I dropped everything.
The balcony has glass walls, which the bird hit pretty hard against. It (I don't know the gender) was disoriented, shaking, and totally out of it.
It was almost night, and I can feel a few drops of rain, a sign of, well, more rain.
So I took it in, did some research, left it inside a quiet dark box with a heating mat on the bottom. It slowly calmed down. We slept overnight, listening to the rain outside, thinking about what would've happened if the bird hit, let's say, somewhere else.
It would've not have any help, or care whatsoever. It would die slowly, having a concussion and oh my gosh my efforts doesn't matter anyway this is the way of life there are bird striking windows everyday and I can't help it Holy noodles I should remove windows from every computer in the house...
I was like this the entire night.
The next morning I discovered that the bird was awake, but something was wrong. The bird was still disoriented. Then I discovered something. Gosh, how did I miss it?
The left eye was completely swollen, which had caused the imbalanced walk, which means that it could not fly.
(*Rapidly typing on phone*) come on where is the nearest wildlife rehabilitation centre....
Initially I thought that the bird just needed to recover, I was wrong. It needs professional help ASAP.
To the SUV! (https://myinstants.com/instant/...)
We went to the other corner of the town. Seriously, we were at the southeast part of town, and we have to drive to the northwest.
It took 15 minutes, but we finally got there. I dropped it off and got home. I will never see that bird again in my entire life.
I don't know what will happen to it.
Good luck out there, little bird.
So... That was my weekend. Here comes Monday...
7 -
Ok, so I don't work yet and so I've never had to deal with any clients but based on the rants i have read this is how stupid I imagine most of them are.
Dev: Hey, would you like a chocolate bar?
Client: Yeah, sure.
Dev: here:
*hands chocolate bar over*
*client holds it in his hands, opens it and eats it*
Client: Tastes great
Dev: Ok, nice. So about the payment of the project...
*Clients face is swollen and he falls to the ground*
Dev: uhh, what are you doing?
Client *coughing*: Were.. were there nuts in the chocolate bar?
Dev: uhmm, yes. didn't you look at it?
Client: why didn't you tell me??!?!?!? I am allergic to nuts!!
Dev: uhh, I didn't know that. But srsly, did you not look at the wrapping of the fucking chocolate bar??!
Client: I am going to sue you!! You will go to prison!
Dev: Fuck off *leaves the room*
Image of the chocolate bar:
5 -
3:40 in the morning... Finally set up most of the basic of Arch with i3. Been more than 12 hours... My eyes r dying... And so m I... Kinda swollen arteries near side of the head coz of overload...
And I have college tomorrow... Or today... Watever 😭😭😭8 -
Here's an incomplete list of things my mother did to me:
- She insulted my body when I was 13. She told me it was weak and feminine. I identified as a boy back then, and I was going to the gym.
- She told me my face was ugly because of acne.
- She shamed me for having better vision than her.
- She shamed me for having longer eyelashes than her, the told me I looked like a girl.
- She always wanted me to learn everything and have all A's. When I got B+, she destroyed me mentally every time. When I got C, this was a catastrophe. Yet, if I told her she was wrong about mundane things like how many volts there are in an outlet, it was me who's in the wrong, despite me having an A for physics. There was no contradiction here in her eyes.
- She forced me to carry heavy things as a punishment. At the age of fifteen, I had an inguinal hernia. The surgery was needed. After that, doctors told me (and her) that I should go easy on carrying heavy things for a month. She didn't listen and forced me to carry heavy things again after two weeks. I had another inguinal hernia. Now, I needed a much more invasive laparoscopy to implant nylon webbing. Because of all of that, now I have messy, ugly scars all over my belly. Guess what happened next? She shamed me for having them!
- Since I was 18, even though I was studying in the uni, she demanded money for rent, for me living in my parents' house I grew up in. The sum she demanded was 27x my scholarship money.
- When I broke my toe, it was obvious that I broke it. It was swollen, twice the size of a normal toe, for two weeks straight. She told me to quit whining and go to PE/Taekwon-do lessons she forced me to attend.10 -
I've left my MacBook to technical assistance for the thrid time. I've bought it on December (the touchbar model, on day one, arrives on December). I paid a lot for it and since then I got s broken key on my keyboard and a faulty display.
Now I got my battery swollen.
Fucking Apple. At least I'm happy with the OS and everything when it's hardware-faults free.
Oh yeah and I switched to MacBook for the construction quality... Bitter irony.
I hope this is the last fucking time, damn.6 -
I feel super discouraged. I just got a new job from being let go from my previous one, and I’m already thinking about quitting.
They really threw me into the weeds with a couple of complex tasks that require a lot of BE work and all I really do is FE. I’m still just trying to learn how the framework actually works. I think they expect me to become full stack. Now I find myself just starting at the computer screen most of the day because I have no fucking idea how to start working. The codebase and local environment is also fucked up super bad and barely runs on my machine.
Also, whenever I reach out these people they give the most minimal answers and have swollen egos. The frameworks they use have a really shitty community and bad documentation, so googling anything is really pointless. Working on this project, it has made me consider giving up development.
I am wondering if this is just a me thing though. Should I quit or stick with it for a bit?13 -
Rant!
The wilde difference in native support between IE , gecko and WebKit is like difference between a real burger and MacDonald's,
They're both burgers but one will make you happy and the other will give diarrhea and a swollen butthole -
I was taking the tram and was standing near the door, a woman in front of me just had the door shut in her face, so I pushed the button quick and she could board (with a swollen face).
The poor lady was like 83 from vietnam. She told me about the how important it is to live in the here and now and control your mind.6 -
I missed my scrum today. Missed the team meeting with VP, he asks everyone what are they working on, a good way to get in touch with peers.
Reason being, when I was sleeping the family started screaming in the morning for 2 hours they went on. I got little stressed and my eyes are still swollen.
Is it the valid reason not attending the meetings. I'm working for a promotion and 1 day in 2 weeks miss my scrum due to some reasons. What do you people think, should I stop struggling for promotion now and find another job?4 -
JUST IN: The unexpected sequel to my previous rant that NOBODY asked for!
I'll give it to you in dialogue form as it's more dramatic and *juicy* that way...
(Context: wizard used the warrior's blood, who descends from an ancient lineage of powerful sorcerors, to cast a high-level spell which allowed the party to teleport to safety when they were trapped and about to die. The warrior is worried about his crazy use of black magic, so she confronts him about it.)
"Alright, old man," she says, her tone serious, yet tinged with concern. "I couldn't help but notice the... let's call it 'unorthodox' spellcasting earlier. What was that about?"
"Well, you wanted me to draw the circle using golden dust and a lamb for the sacrifice?" Uzair raises an eyebrow, his tone riddled with sarcasm. "Because spells of that level of complexity require both things, you know? A circle and an offering." He explains calmly, then shakes his head. "But turns out, the blood of an Ashaffi accounts for both things if you draw the sigils with it. Hey, don't blame me, your own ancestors invented it!"
"Very funny, Uzair." Hashade crosses her arms, her expression unamused. "But seriously, that shit was utterly deranged. I can't have you going all 'Black Scorpion' on our ass, what with the demented use of blood magic, needlessly setting entire buildings ablaze and that mother fucking all-incinerating black hellfire inferno." Her voice is stern, but her eyes show genuine care. "You're... __BREAKING BAD__, old man! You have to chill."
"Oh, so is my wizardry getting on your neves now, is it?" He recoils back slightly in suprise, feeling offended. "We just spanked the Sanie's Guild buttcheeks until they were red and swollen, then proceeded to __FUCK__ them in the ASS with a *DIAMOND* fucking COCK. And you're complaining?"
Hashade's eye's reveal her agitation. "I'm not complaining, I'm concerned! We're not just fighting for ourselves, we're fighting for everyone else too! And if you start playing fast and loose with that kind of power, we're gonna have more than just *one* black smoldering crater to deal with." Her voice is firm, but it's clear she's trying to keep the situation from escalating. "Look, I know you're powerful, but that's not an excuse to go full-on mad scientist on us. We gotta keep our shit tight, yeah?"
"Concerned?!" He tilts his head to the side. "What, you think I'm becoming evil? Come on, spit it out!"
"Evil? No, I don't..." Hashade sighs, running a hand through her silver hair. "Oh no, you know what, yeah. I do. I think you're slowly turning evil." Her expression hardens. "You swapped your book of supplications for a grimoire detailing the most horrible shit in excruciating detail! You shouted out 'G-d is great' while witnessing a disastrous explosion that left everyone else traumatized! You joked around before and after cutting two guards in half, for fuck's sake!" She lowers her head and pinches her nose bridge. "I don't know, I'll admit that, I just don't know what's this shit that's gotten to you. But I don't like it, I really don't. I don't like where this is going, old man!"
"Well," He said, calmly. "you killed El-Fuqer by forcing him to eat his own cock and balls while sowing his ass shut and then took a fat stinking dump on his face." He quietly recalled the, ehem, 'little' incident. "But see, I don't waggle your fucking nutsack about the fucked up shit you've done. And I'm not going to start now."
"THAT'S DIFFERENT! THAT WAS __JUSTICE__!" Her eyes flashed with anger.
"JUSTICE?!! YOU CALL SHITTING ON A CORPSE 'JUSTICE'?!!" He pushed her to the side and stormed out. "I MAY BE AN EVIL WIZARD, BUT I NEVER DEFECATED ON MY ENEMIES, HASHADE. NEVER. FOR FUCKS SAKE!"
"Wait!" Her voice cracked. "You can't just leave like this!"
"I can." He didn't even look back. "And I am."
"I'm not leaving you alone!" She strides closer to him, ignoring the sting of his words. "I can't let you destroy yourself like this!"
(ROGUE BUSTS IN THROUGH THE KITCHEN) "ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, YOU TWO, GET A ROOM ALREADY!"
~ F I N ~
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