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Search - "fuck you microsoft"
Last month: Opening devrant
Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, FUCK FACEBOOK, ZUCKED ME, KILL MARKBOOK, ATTACK FACEBERG
Last week: Opening devrant
GDRP, GDRP, GGEEDDEERRPPPEEEEE, FUCK GDRP, YEEEY GDRP, WHY GDRP, UPDATED OUR GDRP, FUCKED MY GDRP, PEED IN MY GDRP
this week: Opening devrant
Microsoft, Github, NO Microshit, Burn Github, FUCK GITHUB, POO ON MY MICROHUB, VOMITED ON MY GITSOFT
(Google, you better be ready, it's your turn)31
so i just got fired 🔥 🔥 🔥 because i wanted a 200 fucking dollars raise after 1 year of work and sacrifices and feeling like shit.
200$ because i live in the 3rd fucking world, working with a stupid motherfucking boss (you know the fat old tone deaf cunt), he's american, and he brings projects from the US from clients paying thousands of dollars, and he pays us 300$, and by the fucking way he used to pay us 100$ (we are 3 developers, a dick who does nothing but report our behavior, and a shit who does shit. we are a development company and we are the only developers and we got fired because he thought we didn't deserve the raise and that he sees no reason in giving us more money because we're already wasting the company's money and time).
So now the only people left there are the dick, the shit and the fatass boss who's in the states rn.
the funny thing is after we left by an hour or so we got calls from many other companies that we refused to work with because of our loyal-fucking-ty.
the motherfucker thinks we're conspiring against him, that we don't trust him, well of fucking course we don't, he lies about having a company in the US, well it's there but it's suspended (we looked it up), he says he's a microsoft, intel, adobe, dell, lenovo partner, and he's not.
well fuck i'm kind of happy that i left, i'm sitting with my friends in a cafe right now thinking about finishing our personal projects.
forgot something: the projects we were working on are unfinished, and there's not a single fucker to finish them, so he's ball deep in shit. hope this rant is relatable46
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT FOR THINKING THAT THE FUCKING SAD FACE IN THE BLUE SCREEN IS APPROPRIATE!!!!!!!!
THAT SHIT IS WORSE THAN CLIPPY
WHO CAME UP WITH THE IDEA TO MAKE THE ERROR CODE IN SO SMALL PRINT???
YOU OWE ME 5 DAYS OF MY LIFE AND COUNTING!
NOT ONLY HAVE I BEEN UNABLE TO DO MY JOB, I HAVE ALSO NOT BEEN ABLE TO VENT MY FRUSTRATION KILLING ALIENS, IF I HAVE TO SPENT ANOTHER DAY FIXING THIS STUPID COMPUTER I WILL SWIM ALL THEY WAY OVER TO AMERICA AND BITCH SLAP EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR DEVELOPERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!28
Do not continue reading if you value your life.
Visual fucking studio 2015 installation. MOTHERFUCKER !!!
OK new project will only work on VS2015. Need to download it. OK, go to MS website. Project works with community edition. Fucking great. Download the installer. Run the installer. MOTHERFUCKER DON'T OPEN THE FUCKING BROWSER TO THANK ME, YOU FUCKING FUCK. Ok...Wait to download the packages. One fucking eternity later download completes. FUCKING GREAT. Proceed to package installation. After two fucking hours installation progress bar stays the same. Google "vs 2015 installation stuck windows 7". MOTHERFUCKING BACKGROUND PROCESS IS FUCKING STUCK AND INSTALLATION DOES NOT CONTINUE. FUCK YOU. I'VE LOST TWO HOURS. OK, stop the process. Installation gets cancelled. Run the installer again. STOP THANKING ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT :@ OK, check again all downloaded packages. All good. Continue with installation. Installation completes. MOTHERFUCKER WHY YOU WANT TO RESTART THE WHOLE SYSTEM ? FUCK YOUR WINDOWS UPDATES. Ok, restart and be done with it. SSD to the rescue. Try to set up the project.
MOTHERFUCKER I DIDN'T INSTALL THE C++ PACKAGES. WTF WERE YOU DOING ALL THAT TIME? OK, run installer again and install C++ packages. I SWEAR TO GOD MICROSOFT, IF YOU THANK ME ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME, YOU'RE GETTING HATE MAIL.
Ok, installation completes. It's coding time. NO BITCH. VS2015 silently crashes after splash screen. :@@@ Google wtf is wrong again, turns out the C++ packages fuck shit up. Ok, pass some arguments to devenv.exe to reset. Restart VS. Ok, seems to be working now. Make a test project. Fucking awesome. Close VS and get the project files from perforce.
OK, files downloaded. Open VS again....
VS: "You're my bitch, you won't code today. Run from console and pass some shitty reset parameters"
YOU FUCKING FUCK. GO FUCK YOURSELF UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE. Ok, pass the parameters from console. Run again. Same "you're my bitch message" :@ OK, run with administrator rights, opens like charm. Run without admin rights again, "you're my bitch message". :@@@@@
Restart system, VS2015 finally opens project normally. Build project, 6934 errors.... :@ I'M DONE ! IM GOING BACK TO LINUX PROJECT. FUCK YOU ALL.18
I may have an unpopular opinion, but I.......
fucking hate these universal programming languages that try too hard to make cross-platform bullshit easy to develop for. THEY PISS ME OFF SO MUCH...
Like, for example:
STOP FUCKING HAVING 2000 BILLION DEPENDENCIES, LIKE WRITE YOUR OWN ORIGINAL CODE AND TRY NOT TO FUCKING MAKE A MONOLITHIC FUCKING MONSTER OF A CODEBASE. I BET SOMEONE WROTE THE ENTIRETY OF GNU UTILS IN JS, WHAT THE FUCK?!
Yea, let's make a platform that everyone needs a fucking VM for. Sounds great. And also fuck OS GUI guidelines and make our own cancerous looking solaris shit UI, yay.
Microsoft: We will make a UNIVERSAL programming language like C++, but with some stuff from Java.
Microsoft: Universal under Windows platforms that is...
Me: go fuck yourself, you greedy cunt. Atleast Apple has the decency to make Objective-C work on non Apple software, unlike YOU. FUCKING CHEAP BASTARD.
I don't have much against it, but having pip seperate from the package manager on Linux (atleast) is annoying as fuck. And also compiling it into a executable would be "THE FEATURE" and not some 3rd party shitty solution that fucking breaks in a year or two.
Come to think of it, people SHOULD FUCKING STOP TRYING TO MAKE A NO-PORTING UTOPIA SOLUTION, BUT INSTEAD FOCUS ON MAKING IT EASIER TO PORT. A little "#define MYFUCKINGOS" wouldn't fucking hurt, you know. Because at the end if you run a VM, interpreter, have a shit ton of dependencies or just are a fucking monopolistic asshole, you're gonna piss off and divide people.
Image source: https://reddit.com/r/...25
No, not in any relation to windows this time.
Dear Microsoft, why on earth did you put us on your spam blacklist? There haven't been any spam attacks from our side, our servers have nearly the highest 'reputation' that email servers can get, we comply to all security standards and yet you're blacklisting us.
If for some reason you think something is wrong at our side anyways, we've tried to contact you and we either get ignored or get a very late response saying that we'll get delisted again within a day/week or whatsoever.
Microsoft, please go fuck yourself.25
My biggest dev blunder. I haven't told a single soul about this, until now.
So, I was working as a full stack dev at a small consulting company. By this time I had about 3 years of experience and started to get pretty comfortable with my tools and the systems I worked with.
I was the person in charge of a system dealing with interactions between people in different roles. Some of this data could be sensitive in nature and users had a legal right to have data permanently removed from our system. In this case it meant remoting into the production database server and manually issuing DELETE statements against the db. Ugh.
As soon as my brain finishes processing the request to venture into that binary minefield and perform rocket surgery on that cursed database my sympathetic nervous system goes into high alert, palms sweaty. Mom's spaghetti.
Alright. Let's do this the safe way. I write the statements needed and do a test run on my machine. Works like a charm 😎
Time to get this over with. I remote into the server. I paste the code into Microsoft SQL Server Management Studio. I read through the code again and again and again. It's solid. I hit run.
Wait. I ran it?
With the IDs from my local run?
I stare at the confirmation message: "Nice job dude, you just deleted some stuff. Cool. See ya. - Your old pal SQL Server".
What did I just delete? What ramifications will this have? Am I sweating? My life is over. Fuck! Think, think, think.
You're a professional. Handle it like one, goddammit.
I think about doing a rollback but the server dudes are even more incompetent than me and we'd lose all the transactions that occurred after my little slip. No, that won't fly.
I do the only sensible thing: I run the statements again with the correct IDs, disconnect my remote session, and BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP FOREVER.
I tell no one. The next few days I await some kind of bug report or maybe a SWAT team. Days pass. Nothing. My anxiety slowly dissipates. That fateful day fades into oblivion and I feel confident my secret will die with me. Cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯13
14 hour deploy.
Four. Teen. Hours.
Fuck you dotnet Core. Fuck you NuGet. Fuck you IIS. Fuck you Windows. Fuck you Microsoft. Fuck it all. I'm fucking tired. Fuck!15
A quite severe vulnerability was found in Skype (at least for windows, not sure about other systems) allowing anyone with system access (remote or local) to replace the update files skype downloads before updating itself with malicious versions because skype doesn't check the integrity of local files. This could allow an attacker to, once gaining access to the system, 'inject' any malicious DLL into skype by placing it in the right directory with the right file name and waiting for the user to update (except with auto updates of course).
From a company like Microsoft, taking in mind that skype has hundreds of millions of users worldwide, I'd expect them to take a very serious stance on this and work on a patch as soon as possible.
What they said about this: they won't be fixing it anytime soon as it would require a quite big rewrite of skype.
This kinda shit makes me so fucking angry, especially when it comes from big ass companies 😡. Take your fucking responsibility, Microsoft.26
Me: chooses English for language, French for keyboard (because that's what my keyboard happens to be), speaks Dutch natively
Windows: oh great! You've told me to display everything in Windows in English. So I'll just show you the Windows store in Dutch, French and English (edit, and Russian in one of the Store tabs, for God knows why), all at once! Because who cares about your language settings anyway, right. You appear to be from Belgium from your IP, so obviously you speak both of these languages despite your personal preferences. Additionally, have some Candy Crush Soda Saga that you've never asked for.
And the application that you wanted to install - Ubuntu? Fuck you, you can't install it, for "reasons" that we've conveniently put in French, because you obviously speak that, right.
HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING GO FUCK YOURSELF, MICROSOFT?!11
Looks like Apple is the new Microsoft and Microsoft is the new Apple...
I remember when every release of Windows was a catastrophic mess and you had to wait until at least SP2 to get the OS to work in a stable way. And Internet Exploder was *the* browser that broke everything, every time. And there was the whole embrace/extend thing, where they tried to impose their vision of web standards and compatibility, and *everything* you used *had* to come from Microsoft...
And now, it's Apple who fuck up every single OS release, on mobile and desktop, and whose browsers openly shit on web standards (ever try developing anything for Mobile Safari?). Apple's stuff that only works with Apple stuff (down to things like headphone jacks - OOPS, forgot, they dropped those now).
Microsoft is making interesting, beautiful hardware (Surface machines) while Apple is pushing un-innovative, overpriced garbage year in year out. And they're open-sourcing more and more, while Apple walls itself further and further behind its walled "garden". Bleh.
Be interesting to see in 10 years what will have shifted, because it'll change again by then.16
Bought a Microsoft surface (3 pro) from a colleague (more about how that runs later).
It had only one USB port and I definitely need more so started searching online for docks. They mostly seem to be about 100+ euro and all have hdmi ports and other shit other than USB ports as well but I don't need that.
Fuck it, let's get creative (and fuck 100 euro for something like this)!
Double sided tape (however you call that) + 2 euro USB dock:
Works like a charm!27
This is my message to that particular developer of Microsoft who made a change in the Win32 API but was too lazy to update the MSDN doc:
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. You wasted 3 days of mine and I had to find your fucking change by looking into the source code.6
I hope everyone at Microsoft working on Windows 10 dies a horrible death and gets eaten by dogs. FUCK YOU windows!
I have a dual boot machine, logged into windows after a while(months) . Fucker 5 hours to update. Now that it's updated, I did the task I had to do and shifted back to Linux. Now all my other drives, which I didn't so much as touch with windows are fucking read only for some reason!
2 fucking hours spent on trying to find the problem, now I realize thag that after the fuckmaster's update, They reset all my settings and the dicklickin Fast Startup was on again!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHITTY WINDOWS TEAM MICROSOFT! CAN'T EVEN PERSIST USER SETTINGS DURING AN UPDATE THEN HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL ME "ALL YOUR FILES ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU LEFT THEM".
Dear head engineer at windows team, or product manager, or whoever the fuck is in charge of this shit, JUMP UP YOUR OWN ASS AND DIE WITH A DILDO IN YOUR MOUTH YOU DIPSHIT!19
So I upgraded my 8 year old Acer Aspire 7250 with Linux Solus and performance increased OVER 9000000000
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT I AM GOING LINUX!!!18
Whoever designed UEFI, FUCK YOU!! Giving the OS control over every fucking thing in the hardware instead of letting the BIOS do that separately, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT FUCKING MIND THOUGHT THAT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?!!
And same goes to fucking you Microsoft! How difficult is it to do a fucking ACPI shutdown and do it properly?! How fucking difficult is it to not make the fans spin like jet engines because why the fuck not?! And yes the fucking PC is dust-free and bloat-free so I don't want to see any fucking Wintard comment that.
You know where else I saw the inability to power down? In Linux 4.20-rc2. A kernel that is within active development, and rc2 at that!! A kernel branch that's designed to be unstable, for testing purposes. Meanwhile the stable branch of MS Windows does the same. Also designed to be unstable because fuck QA?! Filthy fucking motherfuckers!!32
So I'm doing my thing... Suddenly all open windows start closing one by one and computer starts a shut down.. and i realize the windows update is coming..
But like.. can you at least give me a 2 minutes heads up? How the fuck such a process gets approved in microsoft?
"Yeah just close everything and force restart.. it's fine"10
Actual rant time. And oh boy, is it pissy.
If you've read my posts, you've caught glimpses of this struggle. And it's come to quite a head.
First off, let it be known that WINDOWS Boot Manager ate GRUB, not the other way around. Windows was the instigator here. And when I reinstalled GRUB, Windows threw a tantrum and won't boot anymore. I went through every obvious fix, everything tech support would ever think of, before I called them. I just got this laptop this week, so it must be in warranty, right? Wrong. The reseller only accepts it unopened, and the manufacturer only covers hardware issues. I found this after screaming past a pretty idiotic 'customer representative' ("Thank you for answering basic questions. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for repeating obvious information I didn't catch the first three times you said it. Thank you for letting me follow my script." For real. Are you tech support, or emotional support? You sound like a middle school counselor.) to an xkcd-shibboleth type 'advanced support'. All of this only to be told, "No, you can't fix it yourself, because we won't give you the license key YOU already bought with the computer." And we already know there's no way Microsoft is going to swoop in and save the day. It's their product that's so faulty in the first place. (Debian is perfectly fine.)
So I found a hidden partition with a single file called 'Image' and I'm currently researching how to reverse-engineer WIM and SWM files to basically replicate Dell's manufacturing process because they won't take it back even to do a simple factory reset and send it right back.
What the fuck, Dell.
As for you, Microsoft, you're going to make it so difficult to use your shit product that I have to choose between an arduous, dangerous, and likely illegal process to reclaim what I ALREADY BOUGHT, or just _not use_ a license key? (Which, there's no penalty for that.) Why am I going so far out of my way to legitimize myself to you, when you're probably selling backdoors and private data of mine anyway? Why do I owe you anything?
Oh, right. Because I couldn't get Fallout 3 to run in Wine. Because the game industry follows money, not common sense. Because you marketed upon idiocy and cheapness and won a global share.
Fuck you. Fuck everything. Gah.
VS Code is pretty good, though.20
Dear those who did microsoft sharepoint front-end,
P.S. There is still 3 levels of iframe and table, but I can't show it because it contains data11
VS Code : This is hilarious 😂😂
Take a look at this issue on VS Code repo.
This guys FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU comment made me laugh so hard 😂😂25
WTF Windows 10?
I try to open Mozilla Firefox and it takes 4 fucking minutes. Chrome took 6 minutes. I end up giving up and and using Microsoft edge because I had to submit something online and my battery was about to die, and what do you know. Edge opens in less than 5 seconds.
What's your problem, are you jealous or something? Do you know how painful it is using Edge? Its like pouring salt into your eyes while staring at the sun.
Fuck you Windows 10, fuck. You.26
"Microsoft should not need to buy github, the platform itself should be ran by a non profit org like wikipedia or linux."
Add a herp a derp at the end. It will probably make it sound less stupid or hypocritical.
Seriously though, how many of you mecos actually pay for shit? Eh? How many of you donate to your fav Linux distros or web platforms?
Lets say that the entire devrant base did :) pretty sweet eh? There are still 28 million developers on fucking github.....now how many of those contribute to help account for server costs etc? How many actually use private paid repos etc?
And without adds and shit? This ain't Facebook!!
It makes sense. I am glad they did... and fuck you I would too.
I will see what happens before I put on my (disgusting) Richard Stallman Hat.25
I WANT TO POKE OUT MICROSOFTS ASS WITH A FUCKING CHAINSAW. I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING AND IT KILLS MY FUCKING GRUB, WTF MICROSOFT.
EVERY TIME I BOOT MY PROPRIATERY SHITWARE SYSTEM IT FUCKS WITH MY EFIVARS AND MY EFI BOOTORDER.
So let's calm down for a minute and try to fix that issue:
Replace efivars? Nope, they get wiped.
Replace bootloader? ...nope
Replace bootx64.efi... nope, it gets restored to the M$ one.
Try to change the BCD... nope, permission denied (AS A FUCKING ADMIN)
And also I would like to mention that the event (sorry, I meant to call it "message") structure in WIN32 is a autistic fucking piece of shit that needs to die in a fucking fire. It requires.... IT'S OWN DAMN FUNCTION TO HANDLE INPUT. WTF IS THIS RETARDED FUCKING SHIT.... WHOEVER MADE lpfnWndProc IN WNDCLASS SHOULD DIE IN FUCKING HELL. WHY CAN'T I JUST FUCKING SDL_PollEvent() OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT, WHAT THE HELL.
ALSO MinGW and VS guys: FUCK POSIX AMIRITE, LET'S MAKE YOUR PORTING EXPERIENCE HARD FOR YOU.
ALSO CygWin guys: FUCK DEBUGGERS AND MEMORY CHECK TOOLS, YOU'RE A FUCKING PUSSY IF YOU USE THEM. (I know there's gdb in the repos but it doesn't fucking work since "cygwin1.dll" makes a crash dump, which is just a fucking register dump you can't do shit with before gdb could track down the breakpoint)
ALSO CygWin: LETS MAKE PULSEAUDIO WORK WITH EVERYTHING EXCEPT YOUR AUDIO OUTPUT.
ALSO MICRO$OFT: LETS MAKE THE SUBSYSTEM APPS WORK ONLY IF YOU USED OUR STORE TO DOWNLOAD THE MULTIPLE GIGABYTE CHROOT JAIL.
Sorry guys, I saw too much retardation in the world of Windows. Not gonna use it anytime soon...23
The list would be quite long.
I think Google is still making good tools, but just like Apple the integrations get all so tight and constricting... And with their data, if it goes wrong, it will go wrong hard.
I feel like YouTube is gliding into a state where cheap clickbait floats to the top and finding quality gets more difficult as well, their algorithm is more and more tuned to choose recent popular stuff over good older gems.
Microsoft is all pretend lovey dovey cuddling open source, but I'm still suspicious it's all a hug of death. I was never a big fan, but they're seriously dropping balls when it comes to windows-as-a-service, taking away so much personal control from end users even though they can't be trusted to babysit either.
Amazon is creeping it's way through the internet, charging $10/m to join the vip club infesting houses with spytubes to sell more plastic crap. Bezos' only right to keep wasting oxygen is BlueOrigin, but he'll probably fuck that up as well turning spaceflight into a decadent prime consumer orgy instead of something inspiring.
Facebook... Well, that's self explanatory. Fuck it, everything it pretends to be, and everyone who still has an account with a rusty spike.
Uber and AirBnB, with their fake ass mission of a green shared economy, but they trample over employees, customers and neighbors to build their ivory towers of progressive illusions.
Then there's a million declining brands.
I liked Skype for example when it was first released, Just like how I started out liking (and then hating) Discord, Slack, etc... They're all tools which seem fast and easy, but then they get us further away from solid protocols, get us entrenched into limiting, bloated and sometimes even dangerous tools. As my dad used to say: "Companies are like women, if you go for cheap, fast and easy you'll end up with a burning dick and half your savings gone"
You know what, fuck all tech companies.
OK, devrant is still pretty nice... For now.9
NO I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP ALL MY DATA JUST TO GET AN EXPLORER DARK THEME!!!
YES I DISABLED TELEMETRY PARTIALLY!!
YES I STILL WANT TO RECEIVE UPDATES REGARDLESS OF WHETHER I EXPRESS MY DESIRES TO NOT BE TRACKED IN FULL!!!
NO I REALLY DON'T WANT TO HEAR SHIT ABOUT "THIS FUCKING QUESTION HAS BEEN ANSWERED SOMEWHERE ELSE"!!!
(https://answers.microsoft.com/en-us... - certified Microshit MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!)
AND NO I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU THAT AFTER RE-ENABLING TELEMETRY THAT MY PRIVACY SETTINGS ARE STILL TOO LOW!!! AND CERTAINLY I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR WORTHLESS "FIX ME" SHIT UNABLE TO FIX JACK SHIT!!!
AND LIKE FUCKING HELL DO I WANT TO REINSTALL WANBLOWS, FUCKING KEEP MY SHITTY FILES THAT ARE FUCKING BACKED UP BUT LOSE ALL MY CUSTOM CONFIGURATIONS!!! LIKE FUCKING HELL!!! NOT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FIX YOUR OWN BLOODY SYSTEM AFTER I DID MY PART TO GIVE MY DATA TO THE SHAFTLORDS AGAIN!!!
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!!!23
I love devRant. But the people constantly saying "Python is shit" OR "Windows is for idiots" OR "Never use C it's ancient" OR "Microsoft sucks" OR any other fucking subjective opinion that's absolutely worthless drive me crazy.
I see many people here asking "Should I do [option1] or [option2]?" And the only responses are "[option3 which is not a fucking option you degraded fuck who thinks his/her opinions somehow matter in this discussion while they are clearly NOT helping]"
Sorry but this place has "Rant" in it's name so I thought this would be appropriate.23
I hate Microsoft!
But i gotta say, VS Code is a really good IDE. Guess they should've gone open source a long time ago15
*dad's w10 computer running super slow*
*checks task manager*
100% disk usage
*Compattelrunner.exe is at the top of the list in disk usage*
*searches online to find what the hell that is*
"Compattelrunner.exe collects program telemetry information if opted in to the Microsoft EatASackOfDicks Customer Experience Fuckup"
Telemetry is supposed to be disabled on this computer.
What the fuck Microsoft, if you want to straight out lie to my face as a customer at least try to not be so obvious that you basically lock down my computer with your telemetry shit.3
When I wanted to get into programming, I worked for this guy for a few days (yeah, it was -that- good).
His company, which included me and him alone, was a small company that made a living out of shitty 3 page WordPress sites (fuck WordPress btw) with graphic designs that looked like they were drawn in Microsoft Paint.
I hated the very idea of it but I wanted to get into the field, so I just went along with it.
I had installed Skype on my PC so I could talk to my buds (developers as well) and consult them if need be.
The guy 'caught' me twice while texting on Skype and called me on a meeting.
When he called me, I was aware of the fact that I'm probably about to get sacked, and I actually didn't care because I knew this wasn't a place or a boss I'd like to work for.
Anyway, i went to the conference room, where he told me I'm fired for talking to my buds on Skype and wasting company time and money.
This is where I lost it, even though I knew it was coming.
"Are you serious?", I asked. "You create overpriced, 3 page websites with a lame built-in gallery; you took me in as a developer yet you ask me to 'design websites' in Photoshop; you're completely oblivious of the fact that those friends I was talking to are fellow developers who I may want/need to consult so your 3 page websites look, feel and be built better, and you fire me? Do you even look at the final product before you deliver it to the client, or do you just enjoy giving them much less than what they paid for?".
Let me tell you - the guy was pissed. He went all self-defense while trying to save himself from the unexpected turn of events. 😎
Eventually we shook hands and went our separate ways, and about a week later I got into my current job.
I gave this guy's company a negative review on Facebook. When he messaged me and asked if I could change it, I used another account of mine to give him another bad review as well.
Not very professional or mature, but he had it coming.5
STOP SHITTING ON PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES.
Now, I'm not talking to the people that don't take it too serious, but rather to people that think their language is superior and others inferior. Why shit on PHP? A lot of stuff is build with this, including devRant. For me, I'd love to learn any languages that has a proper use for me. (With this sentence I'm excluding all exoteric languages, because they are useless) If anyone says, Python is awesome as fuck, yeah, I FUCKING AGREE. Anyone telling me anything is crap, I disagree. If it's that terrible, how do you know about it? If it was never used ever in a project, how can you know its terrible? You can't. Unless you coded that thing yourself.
Next time don't waste your time on shit like that. I AM ALSO LOOKING AT THE HOLY WAR APPLE VS MICROSOFT VS LINUX
STOP WASTING YOUR TIME WITH SHIT LIKE THIS.19
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ASP.NET FUCK YOU FOR MAKING IIS AND FUCK YOUR WINDOWS SERVERS TOO13
People complaining about Microsoft pushing MS-Edge are clearly not using the YouTube mobile app, this shit pushes their premium shit and YouTube music every fucking day. MS you get ONE pop up when you change default browser and they are done! Also Google products one concurrent browsers ? You get that nice yellow message telling you you're not using chrome but people just like to tell shit about MS like it's the national sport or something well fuck you and fuck Google5
Another fucking twat asking for a responsive html email when they are targeting outlook. IT USES THAT HEAP IF SHIT WORD AS A RENDERING ENGINE WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT! It's bad enough having to code them up using fucking tables and spacer gifs. Why do IT people stick religiously to Microsoft heap of shit applications... Oh I know it's because they are so fucking shit that it needs a full time twat just to get them through the fucking day. Fuck Microsoft. I guess you can sense I'm having a bad day, especially when my broadband decides to pack in, on and off all fucking day and the support twat puts me on hold then fucks off. FML14
Project Cortana: Day 56
*What I liked*
Here is the rant where I described the project: https://devrant.io/rants/962190
Time for a review. The biggest advantage I have found was the productivity. Let me explain:
1. Cortana: It's useful as fuck if anyone is willing to use it all the time. It really helps to get reminders and notifications everywhere (PC, Laptop and Mobile).
2. Microsoft Launcher: An underrated gem due to the hate towards M$. Thanks to it's transparent theme, it looks absolutely gorgeous. The most useful part is the "Feed" where you get all your emails, recently edited documents, recently used apps or contacts all together. I was quite surprised to see the level of customization if offered considering it's M$.
3. M$ Office: I probably don't need to talk much about it, it's the most productive tool you can get. Outlook is fucking brilliant on mobile. Other office apps, while they are great on mobile, are probably more useful in tablets. And the "Focused Inbox" is the best thing happened to outlook.
4. M$ To-Do: Holy fuck, this is sick. I know that there is many alternative with more features. But this app is the perfect example of a todo app. Simple, has the exact right features and has a really smooth, beautiful UI. This really helped me to be productive.
5. OneDrive: Didn't find much difference compared to Google Drive.
6. People: Something that I discovered later and found it really useful. You can pin contacts in the taskbar and see emails, calender items associated with that contact in one click. Found it really useful considering I was chatting with my Supervisor and lectures quite frequently.
7. Windows Mail App: While I really like it, I have mixed feeling about it. I would really love to have HTML signature. Not sure why M$ is not implementing it. But the "Share" in the Context Menu is really useful while sending attachements.
Finally, the "Fluid Design" so far is beautiful. Loving the effects.
I will write what I didn't like in the next rant.16
Not just another Windows rant:
*Disclaimer* : I'm a full time Linux user for dev work having switched from Windows a couple of years ago. Only open Windows for Photoshop (or games) or when I fuck up my Linux install (Arch user) because I get too adventurous (don't we all)
I have hated Windows 10 from day 1 for being a rebel. Automatic updates and generally so many bugs (specially the 100% disk usage on boot for idk how long) really sucked.
It's got ads now and it's generally much slower than probably a Windows 8 install..
The pathetic memory management and the overall slower interface really ticks me off. I'm trying to work and get access to web services and all I get is hangups.
Chrome is my go-to browser for everything and the experience is sub par. We all know it gobbles up RAM but even more on Windows.
My Linux install on the same computer flies with a heavy project open in Android Studio, 25+ tabs in Chrome and a 1080p video playing in the background.
Up until the creators update, UI bugs were a common sight. Things would just stop working if you clicked them multiple times.
But you know what I'm tired of more?
The ignorant pricks who bash it for being Windows. This OS isn't bad. Sure it's not Linux or MacOS but it stands strong.
You are just bashing it because it's not developer friendly and it's not. It never advertises itself like that.
It's a full fledged OS for everyone. It's not dev friendly but you can make it as much as possible but you're lazy.
People do use Windows to code. If you don't know that, you're ignorant. They also make a living by using Windows all day. How bout tha?
But it tries to make you feel comfortable with the recent bash integration and the plethora of tools that Microsoft builds.
IIS may not be Apache or Nginx but it gets the job done.
Azure uses Windows and it's one of best web services out there. It's freaking amazing with dead simple docs to get up and running with a web app in 10 minutes.
I saw many rants against VS but you know it's one of the best IDEs out there and it runs the best on Windows (for me, at least).
I'm pissed at you - you blind hater you.
Research and appreciate the things good qualities in something instead of trying to be the cool but ignorant dev who codes with Linux/Mac but doesn't know shit about the advantages they offer.25
> An update is available
> Installs update
> Update failed bc of corrupted system components
> Random bluescreens
> Sfc /scannow
> Can't scan because there is one pending repair
> Does everything except repairing
> Recovery mode
> System integrity check failed
> Reset Windows
> Reset failed bc of "some" problems
> Media creation tool for bootable USB
> Tool fails to write image
> Media creation tool on another pc
> Install Windows
> Missing drivers, cannot install
> Wipes hard drive
Fuck you Microsoft8
User gives me a Mac to work on, States that it “only needs Microsoft office Mac installed”
Boot up the laptop....
**Mac OS X utilities**
Hmmm, odd. Reboot.
**Mac OS X utilities**
You’ve got to be shitting me. Call user —
Her - “NO! It was working when I gave it to you, you fix it. I’m not paying to get my laptop returned broken. It was working when I gave it to you!”
Me - “I’m sorry, but it wasn’t. I literally turned it on and this is what it stated * read her the message*
Her - “I don’t believe you, you did something to my computer.”
YOU FUCK! THE FUCK I DID! YOU LITERALLY JUST HANDED ME THE GOD DAMN THING! Can I PLEASE curb stomp this bitch, please....17
Visual Studio Code.
I've tried you because of hearing a lot of good stuff about you. I'd switch back to netbeans regardless because I love netbeans and I always try to use as little as possible from companies like Google/microsoft/facebook (and others) but what you're pulling right now is un-fucking-believable.
I've disabled ANY AND EVERY form of calling home I could (find) in your settings. Crash reports, automatic updates, metrics, you name it. I've searched all the fucking settings but I can't find any other home calling thing that's enabled and yet:
I'm monitoring every goddamn DNS request (through my own DNS server) and I'm still seeing calls to a Microsoft owned domain. Closed all my browser sessions and you as well and it stopped. Started browser again but not you, nothing.
Started you again: BAM. Calls to that damned Microsoft owned domain again.
If you can't honour my decision for disabling any form of home calls, go fuck yourself.
Netbeans, I'm back, I've missed you 💜40
Motherfucking Microsoft piece of shit. Next time I hear someone talk anything other than trash about Windows 10 I'm gonna bash his head in. Over one week of rendering gone because the Microsoft motherfuckers decided that they can restart whenever they want. Installing wanna cry is less destructive than this virus sold as an operating system. People liking this Win10 shit must be really REALLY fucking stupid. Fuck you39
*looks for jobs in system administration*
For our client in $location we're looking for a Network and System Administrator ... to manage our local IT infrastructure (so far so good) ... that's Microsoft-based.
Fuck that company.
Requirements: deployment and maintenance of servers, backups and storage, updates, yada yada.. fine with me.
yOU wiLl mAiNtAiN WanBLowS sUrVaR sYsTeMs
Fuck that company too.
Does anyone here in Belgium even work with fucking Linux servers?! Or should I really relocate to the Netherlands to get something decent?!!28
Man, here's a good "Fuck you, Microsoft" story.
So, the standard library for C for Linux/GNU systems. String helpers man. They work exactly as expected. strcat? String concat, destination and source. strcpy? Destination and source. Makes perfect sense, does what you expect, inserts where you think it should.
>enter stage microsoft
>shit eating grin on face
>making stupid sounds
>giggling like a dumbass
// setup for any helper function
char* dest = malloc(totalSize);
memset(dest, 0, totalSize);
// helper function examples
strcpy_s(dest + offset, srcStrSize, src);
strcat_s(dest + offset, srcStrSize, src);
Let me break this garbage down for you. Not ONLY do you have to know precisely WHERE in your destination string you'd like to insert, you must also know the size of the string you are inserting. Because you know, strlen() doesn't exist right?
This isn't even the fucking worst of it. You have to BOTH malloc your string, AND memset the entire thing to make these "helper" functions usable.
Oh, and if anything goes wrong, don't expect any of these "safe" functions to return an errno_t like you think it should (as the docs say). It just breaks the whole damned application after 1000ms and doesn't tell you why.
To top it off? NONE of these garbage Microsoft helpers are cross platform. But the Microsoft compiler will be sure to bitch ENDLESSLY at you for using standard library functions because they're "deprecated" and "potentially unsafe". If I gave a flying fuck, I'd use C# or Typescript. Thanks. Not using C because I want safety ;).
EXCEL YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! don't get me wrong, it's usefull and kt works, usually... Buckle up, your i for a ride. SO HERE WE FUCKING GO: TRANSLATED FORMULA NAMES? SUCKS BUT MANAGABLE. WHATS REALLY FUCKED UP IS HTHE GERMAN VERSION!
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT .csv? It stands for MOTHERFUCKING COMMA SEPERATED VALUES! GUESS WHAT SOME GENIUS AT MICROSOFT FIGURED? Hey guys let's use a FUCKING SEMICOLON INSTEAD OF A COMMA IN THE GERMAN VERSION! LET'S JUST FUCK EVERY ONE EXPORTING ANY DATA FROM ANY WEBSITE!
The workaround is to go to your computer settings, YOU CAN'T FUCKING ADJUST THIS IN EXCEL!, change the language of the OS to English, open the file and change it back to German. I mean, come on guys, what is this shit?
AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON ENCODING! äöü and that stuff usually works, but in Switzerland we also use French stuff, that then usually breaks the encoding for Excel if the OS language is set to German (both on Windows and Mac, at least they are consistent...)
To whoever approved, implemented or tested it: FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID SHITFUCK, with love: me8
Fucking windows! I am so fucking done with this microsoft bullshit!
Hear me out here, i am a gamer. I need windows because it has the games (and software to aid those games) unlike any other platform. But windows 10 is basically already phishing andmalware at this point. I stuck to win 7 because it had a start menu and didn't totally drive me up the wall.
Just a short list of their bullshits: ads in the explorer window, ads in your taskbar reminders, data mining like it is nobodies business and trying to hide it, sharing my wifi access with friends (wtf), the fucking retarded new start menu, the crappy fullscreen apps which have less functionality than the actual proper desktop applications that you need to config what you want, and even then pushing multiple updates that simply broke peoples pc's. Fuck that, ill stick to 7.
They are making win10 worse by the week making it unlikely i will ever join that hell, and they are also aiming to force me there. Making windows store exclusives and dx12 only games. What am i supposed to do against that?! The current releases don't bother me much but fuck i figure it is a matter of time until the newest katamari game is their exclusive and i nanananana katamari damacy all over their platform.
And well all alternative os's are just out of the question unless vulkan rendering gets the upper hand. Then i'd switch to whatever stable distro and learn about our new penguin based overlords languages.
For now i will just stick to win7, suck on my thumb while in fetal position and hope it just all goes away.68
Some absolute cock-monkey fuck-nugget of a marketing director asked me the other week if I could implement a discount voucher system into a new side project / prototype we’re building.
I said ‘yeah sure but it’s a bit of a pain in the ass, i’ll have a look’
He said ‘you just let someone enter a code and that takes £10 off the total order value’
IS THAT HOW IT WORKS?!!
THANKS FOR EXPLAINING THAT TO ME YOU FUCKING ASS-CUNT. BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HOW A FUCKING DISCOUNT VOUCHER WORKED, YOU ABSOLUTE MOUTH BREATHING WASTE OF FUCKING ORGANS.
I’LL JUST GO TYPE THAT INTO MICROSOFT WORD AND SAVE THE FILE TO THE MAGICAL CLOUD SHALL I?
“dear computer, take a voucher code from a user and take £10 off of there order value”
THERE YOU GO YOU PRICK; JOB DONE. SOFTWARE ENGINEERING IS EASY, EH?!
We have a ver crappy Internet connection at my office (I believe it's 100Mb/s for 50 people to share), so when somebody starts downloading a big file they pretty much hijack all the available bandwidth and fuck up everybody else.
Now, we have ONE, just ONE SINGLE FUCKING COMPUTER RUNNING FUCKING WINDOWS 10 AND EVERY WEEK IT FUCKS UP THE ENTIRE OFFICE'S INTERNET CONNECTION WITH ITS STUPID FUCKING UNCANCELLABLE MANDATORY UPDATES.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.9
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
NOTHING, FUCKING NOTHING IS WORKING SINCE I MADE THIS FUCKING UPDATE
FUCK YOU WINDOWS, FUCK YOU MICROSOFT12
Dear Samsung phones... And LG phones... Well, to that matter - iPhones as well...
YOU. DIE. NOW!
All of you and that disgusting, abominable, repugnant shit you call a platform.
Go to the freaking hell, and then in there find another hell and go there too.
Samsung, you tell me: How come it takes me ONE fucking script and 10 minutes of my time to build a project that consists of:
3 Node.js servers
1 ASP.NET core server
Backup provider server
and this all builds into 10 docker containers.
Yes, my dear Samsung, it takes 10 minutes and after 10 minutes I'm getting - plop - one script. I'm running that script on the client's server and in 4 minutes my client is very happy with my own proprietary awesome software that does what my client needs.
And listen Samsung: There is such a thing as a Windows Domain controller. And I spend several years of my life administering those domains. And you know what? After 10 minutes of configs I can make all of my computers to change their wallpapers to display a corporate logo on the screen. Takes only 10 minutes and I don't have to touch users computers. It's doing it's shit automatically.
But now tell me my dear Samsung, how the fuck it happens that one little dweeb would come to me with one of your precious Galaxy S8s would kill 5 hours of my time?!
WHAT. THE. F?
Dweeb: Can you please help me to change my phone? I got a new model?
Me: Sure! (probably would take me like 5 sec, and I like to help people)
Dweeb: Here is my old On5, and here is my new *sigh* SGS8
Me: Ok, let's look at that...
Downloads Smart Switch on the PC.
Try to pull the data from On5 to the PC. Does not work - just hangs there
20 minutes later:
Find a USB adapter and try to copy the data from smartphone to smartphone. Hangs again
20 minutes later:
Export the contacts to the phone memory as vCard and recover them on the new phone - crashes the phone.
20 minutes later:
Find out that the fucking On5 did not export the contacts correctly and the file is damaged.
Spend 20 more minutes in vim to write a script that would patch up the file.
Recover the contacts on the new phone and found out that all photos of the contacts were lost.
*fuck those photos*
Ok, now let's copy the rest. Copy all the documents and other shit like that.
Spend 30 minutes on the phone with my favorite phone provider to swap the phones. (You think you could just swap a sim? No, we don't do that in here! Welcome to USA - sit on the phone with a provider for 30 minutes to swap the number between phones)
Dweeb: Oh, but where are my notes from notes app?
Me: What app? *Ugh, shit. I don't want to help anyone anymore...*
And that's not it, folks! You want to install a trusted root certification authority on your device for a corporate proxy? Well, let's see:
Windows -> Download the cert, Open it, next, next, current user, trusted root certification auth... Done
Linux -> cd /etc/ssl-certificates && wget http://address.com/cert.crt && update-ca-certificates
Mac -> Keychain access -> add certificate -> full trust
Samsung -> Click on the cert, select install and say yes... AND THAN FIND OUT THAT THAT DOES NOT DO SHIT, BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T INSTALL THE CERT ON ANDROID>6.0 CAUSE OF THE SECURITY ISSUES. IT JUST WON'T WORK AT ALL.
So my dear user, do you want corporate Wi-Fi in the building? Go screw yourself! You got yourself a device that does not support it. And I don't care if you had paid $1500 for your gleaming S8 with the screen resolution greater than anything I've ever seen before and all that shit. You can't, just can't use the Wi-Fi cause that piece of shit does not accept my certificate.
And if you want tech support - go to Provider's store 5 blocks away and complain to the baboons in there about the fact that your notes app is not working on the new phone.
And you think you can easily deploy a corporate app to a users phones with that Samsung KNOX? NO! You could probably get 2 sleepless nights trying to figure out why the hell this app does not arrive to a thousands of phones...
And you think you can easily write an app that would do what you need? NO! You can't enforce enterprise app permissions on the phones remotely!
And you think you can just change settings on the phones remotely? NO! You would end up going to each phone and manually refresh policies.
And welcome to hell - you will find out that even those policy refreshes would not apply all the rules you want. No, you would have to unenroll the phone, uninstall the app, reboot the phone and reinstall everything and then re-enroll the phone. Fuck, it takes about 1 hour to do that. Per. Fucking. Phone.
Samsung, go lie down under the bush somewhere and die there. Apple can just follow the same route. And (although I never used them, but I don't think they are any better) Microsoft phones can go and die the same way.
In 1999 we had Nokias and no one was managing anything. And that was awesome.16
what the last windows update did to me:
- BROKE the fucking SPEAKERS so i have NO SOUND even WITH HEADPHONES. the only pair that work is a bluetooth one that i used before
- RESET ALL OF MY BIOS SETTINGS. this includes intel haxm so now the FUCKING AVD WON'T WORK.
- BROKE my FINGERPRINT SENSOR, so now i cant use the side of my pinky to login.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.
GO SUCK BILL GATES'S COCK.
DIE IN A HOLE.12
*wants to watch Re:Zero on Windows*
The files are on my file server, exposed to the Windows machine with Samba. But the Re:Zero directory isn't visible on Windows 🤔
$ mv "Re:Zero" ReZero
*Suddenly becomes visible on Windows*
What the fuck.. can't it do : characters? Something as basic as that? Microsoft, you.. you never heard of character escaping? I mean, Linux shells for example don't deal with certain characters very well either, so what do you do? Either "this", 'this', or this\ stuff, depending on some and the other things that I won't get into, but mostly it boils down to preference.
Meanwhile Windows: sorry man, can't do it >_< but I can fuck up your language, updates, privacy and files!!!
Fucking hell.. at this point I'm not even mad anymore. Just.. what the fuck Microsoft?16
*edits file on remote server*
WanBLowS: naah you can't 😈
*le wild BSOD appears for the over 9000-th time*
... Yeah. Windows, great job. Who needs system integrity when they're working on remote servers anyway, right?!
And to top it all off, le reboot mentions that they're working on fucking "features" again. That's what you needed to BSOD for?! For a goddamn motherfucking feature?!! Fucking piece of shit.
At least when I opened vim on that server again, it's saved everything neatly in the .swp files, ready for recovery. Now that's neat, isn't it? Microsoft, the Linux community has already moved on to nvim in terms of development, but maybe, just maybe, you can learn a thing or two from our "legacy software", vim.
As for me, maybe it's time to take out my Arch laptop again. At least that won't crap out on me because the sun and the stars are in a position that the OS doesn't like, or something stupid like that. FUCK YOU MICROSHIT!!!11
WTF is wrong with skype mobile app ?
Microsoft touches his hand and it became shit. One of my favorite app got spoiled and turned very horrible.
Fuck you Microsoft, Fuck You !27
Finally fixed a major bug.....
FUCK YOU C# AND YOUR FUCKING CASE SENSITIVE BULLSHIT.
THAT TOOK FUCKING DAYS AND AT NO POINT DUD VISUAL STUDIO BOTHER TO MENTION THAT FUCKING ERROR.
1 CHARACTER, ON ONE LINE, EFFECTIVELY BROKE THOUSANDS OF LINES OF CODE
fuck this, I quit. See you next time you contact the Microsoft live support chat!13
Microsoft Office Sharepoint Server.
There is no technology on Earth that speaks worse of Microsoft than is this crap. Nothing they ever made (not even Comic Sans) is as bad as Sharepoint.
No proper editor. Everything is slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. To run it you need a state-of-the-art server. There is no way to make the UI modern, as Sharepoint itself is built upon 1995 era HTML. Tables in tables in tables in tables in tables. And even if you do a web part that's readable, it will be wrapped in shit and presented to the client anyway.
It's so easy to break too. Most of the time I was just watching why the fuck it didn't work. Huge problem with caching as well. Deploying any change requires 10 minutes of manual labor.
I get why companies want to use it. Out of the box it's got quite a few very nice features, and aside from the problems setting it up, and hardware requirements, it works decently well.
But I won't come near it unless I'm paid 100$ per hour or starving to death.10
From 3 decades of operating system development, yesterday Windows shat itself (for the so many'th time) with the ACPI power button (how one can possibly fuck up interacting with a goddamn fucking pushbutton, I have no idea) and this morning I got back to my PC, only to notice that the USB driver (again one of the easiest and most ubiquitous protocols out there) shat itself as well. So wiggling the mouse to activate the screen? Of course, no says Windows. I can't possibly do that much, even though I'm developed by a team that could easily outnumber most distributions' development teams, and am part of a company that turns over fucking billions of dollars each year.
I feel that Microsoft offends the words "operating system" to the point that it should be changed (call me SJW 🙃), just for Windows. Shouldn't be too much of an effort considering that Microsoft never follows common standards anyway. I'd like to introduce you to the term "operating shitstain" 😜18
When I see two fields, one for username and one for password, I expect I can fill them out immediately subsequently with only a tab in between. While typing my password I DON'T want to get sent to a page where I can enter my password only: I was entering it already! Sometimes I even make it until I pressed the enter key that was supposed to log me in, but then I'm kindly requested to reenter my password. At that moment I not-so-kindly think: FUCK YOU Microsoft, you should know better. Even when logging into Visual Studio for fack sake3
Me: IE7 sucks and should no more be supported in 2018.
Dev: NO IE7 IS THE BEST BROWSER EVER IN THE UNIVERSE FUCK YOU!!
Same Dev in another Rant: Fuck I hate IE and Microsoft!!!
One question guys: what's up with always trying to find a way to be anti, no matter what? Even if what you defend totally opposes your view. Is this something like a new trend or is this like the new cool now?7
My company just migrated our mail servers over to office365. My boss has been excited and could barely contain himself when the migration was done he was having the best day ever after he got a good deal on some new toys...Then I ruined it.
Me (setting up) > WTF!? um...well I guess I don't have email on my phone anymore. These permissions are fucked.
Him > Oh why?
Me > They are ridiculous, I won't give away this much control just to read email.
Him (panicking) > and if buy you a company phone?
Me > Not a fuck it's still a personal device. I'll just sandbox the web version.
Him > Your over reacting, they obviously need them for security blah blah...
Me (sends him the pic) > The minimum system requirement is internet.
I feel kinda bad for killing his vibe - he's a nice guy and he's only trying to do right by us but now he seems down like his toy isn't shiny anymore because he respects me. I wasn't beating on the stack or his choice (mines running on thunderbird). I just can't support this trend of GOD mode permissions for email / calculator and other single feature apps. I'll use the web app instead. You have to draw the line somewhere...
On the other hand I can't deny that I'm loving the irony that Microsoft just made my life easier and have a deep sense of satisfaction that for the first time ever I got fuck up his Friday :/22
Ladies and gentleman, I've done it.
Remove your hacker game trophies from your wall.
That nasty bug you fixed a couple of nights ago? Meh.
Your top devRant post? You'll delete it after reading this.
Every awesome accomplishment you can think of: it all means shit now.
>> I have SUCCESSFULLY changed my business Microsoft account password into something I can remember AND Microsoft accepted it in under an hour of trying!!!!! <<
I want to say a big FUCK YOU to MICROSOFT for WASTING MY BLOODY TIME.
FUCK YOU for giving me a max of 16 characters. DASB&(*(&G*HH*& for telling me every time my password is 100% strength and then after every submit tell me I have to change it AGAIN because it should be harder to guess. WUT?! It was 16 characters including a (capital) letter, number and multiple special characters, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! UNICODE EMOJI'S???!!! ALLOW ME TO USE MORE CHARACTERS SO I WILL MAKE IT HARDER TO GUESS IT, IT'S 2018 FFS.
I don't even understand why my new password is accepted compared to the other one, but fuck it I can access my account again.
Now I might have to find a new job before the company password policy kicks in again.
/me drops everything and walks out of the office to get wasted (not sure if celebrating or just really pissed off)9
Those managers who think that Microsoft is the only platform and believe that Linux is insecure - fuck off. I don't want to use azure, you ass.3
Taking a database class, prof insists on using Microsoft Sql server 2014. "Okay cool" said the Microsoft surface fan boy inside me as I installed it. "Holy shit this is using 6 fucking GBs?? Eh it's okay I trust" again said my Microsoft fanboy self. Finished installing, makes queries and it works. Cool.
Go to run Sql server again next day and get an error (nothing displayed, just a box pop up and then a crash) I use some Google skills. Change a bunch of shit and still it persists. "Just uninstall it and reinstall again" says my prof. I do so except random errors during installation saying Sql already exists even though I just uninstalled it. "Maybe it's some registry keys messing with it!" do some digging, remove unneeded registry keys and try again. Installation finished but a whack of features say failed to install.
I sit and try to work this shit out for the next four hours (not paying attention to my class) and still can't get Sql to completely uninstall itself. I try iobit uninstaller, command line uninstalling, fucking everything but still not working. Slowly my fanboy side is wishing that the windows symbol on the back of my machine was an apple.
I ended up having to backup all my files and reinstalling windows to get it working properly. Holy sweet fuck. The worst part is when this class is done ill probably need to reinstall yet again to save the 6gb it's sucking up. So if you're not sure whether you need something as heavy as Microsoft Sql server or not for your application, don't use it! It's a fucking virus that is super difficult to remove.
Tldr: life long Microsoft fanboy becomes apple convert in a day of using Microsoft Sql server.9
I was Compiling app on windows 10, just gone for few mins to grab a coffee and then i saw blue screen with
Nobody ask you to do it. You piece of shit.
And that's not all, it even restarted without my permission.
Seriously Fuck you Microsoft7
This morning I turned on my PC at work...
Only to be greeted by a finishing your Windows upgrade message.
It took fucking windows HALF AN HOUR to finish the upgrade.
After that my machine lost its built in cam, mic and speaker. Which I need for my work.
Took me two hours to hunt down the correct driver to install and find the info it must be installed in Win7 compatibility mode or it won't work. It was pure joy to install it plain first and it still didn't work.
Then VirtualBox refused to start. Took me half an hour to upgrade it and get it working again.
Took me half a day to just get the shitmachine working like it did yesterday so that I can START working.
So, dear Microsoft:
wait for it...
(And don't give me this "use Linux" crap, I have to use Windows for my work.)4
Windows not powering off when I press the shutdown button.
Mandatory long rant warning
Oh my fucking god, how many times have I lost my shit because of this fucking bullshit.
When I press the shutdown button, I want you to shut the fuck down you sorry excuse for an operating system.
Me and my friends want to hang out together, so I shut down my PC and walk over to their house, expecting an intense session of doing programming stuff and debating linux distros. Whatever the fuck we do when we get together.
I get to their house and pull out my laptop,, only its hot as fuck. And then I see it: the battery indicator is red. "What the balls?" I think to myself. I open the lid, and guess what?
WINDOWS DIDN'T FUCKING SHUT DOWN, AND IT STAYED ON THE POWERING OFF SCREEN ALL THIS FUCKING TIME. WHAT THE FUCK?
Now, my laptop has a bomb ass battery, so I didn't even bring a charger with me, and now I'm fucking stuck at a programming session with friends without a computer. FUCKING BULLSHIT.
If this was a one time thing, I wouldn't have cared so much, but this happened countless fucking times. Too many.
I would have deleted this cum socket of an operating system months ago if it weren't for the Windows exclusive software I need for school, and now that Steam supports games for linux, Windows has even less of an excuse to stay on my fucking laptop.
Windows is supposed be fucking simple, but linux takes it by a goddamn long shot. When I type "shutdown now" or "poweroff", linux shuts the fuck down, no questions asked. And if I ever need root permissions, I just type "sudo" instead of restarting the fucking program and requesting admin privileges.
Most of the software I use is compatible with both MacOS and Windows, and I already have Ubuntu installed on my laptop, so what do you guys think, should I butcher Windows off of my SSD and give MacOS a try?
Also, what is this magic? Ranting actually calmed me the fuck down... I need to start ranting more.
FUCK MICROSOFT AND FUCK WINDOWS, I WISH I COULD BURN TO FUCKING OBLIVION6
So Microsoft, you tell me that there is a known bug, if you have Windows 10 with the newest update installed on a SSD and Apps running on another hard drive?! And this bugs causes random freezes of the whole PC from time to time?
WHAT THE FUCK?!
It is a common setup nowadays to have a SSD with windows 10 and software on other hard drives and you didn't care to check it before releasing the update? Which I HAVE to download and install?
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!8
This fcktard client that insist on using an iframe and demands support for browsers like IE7. You are costing me years of my life.
Fucking fuck of a Microsoft trying to protect people against tracking from 3d parties in an iframe in random ways in some versions of IE7. Or IE11 in IE7 compatibility mode.
If you are going to refuse sessions just do it! I got a fucking check and fix for that. Because these fuck faces friendly people at Apple like to refuse sessions on iPads and iPhone too. But we worked that out, because they are at least consistent. So a few dirty little hacks made it all Okay.
But no, Boo Hoo I'm Microsoft and I will throw a tantrum. I like my browsers to be like an magican, instead of an usefull piece of software. If you look in this page, or look here we got them. I got your sessions, safe and secure.
But when you need me, to verify that the user is allowed to access data we do a little hocus pocus and now they are gone. Nowhere to be seen or found again. Fun times free fucking magic shows all day long.
It's morning but maybe its time for a bottle of scotch. Maybe if I'm in the state as this browser. Where I don't know what I'm doing because I'm shitfaced drunk it will start working.
When in Rome do as the romans do.6
When using Windows, I really feel like I don't own my computer. Like it'll update automatically without giving a single fuck wether you wish to install these updates on YOUR machine and install what Microsoft wants.
"Sup I'm the Windows update manager, seems like you're in the middle of some important work right now, let me just force reboot your machine and install some crap bloatware"9
FUCK YOU MS SQL!
DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT MAKING ME WRITE 60 FUCKING COLUMN NAMES BY HAND WILL STOP ME FROM COPYING AN ID?
Yeah it actually will but fuck you. I want to merge data and you make this work a pain in the ass.
Bunch of cunts.9
Ok so my pc is running again.
Time to put some Marilyn Manson on while I code.
Oh wait, what's that? Can't play music? For the 5th time today, fuck you Microsoft.3
Classic design not being thought out case study:
THESE STUPID FUCKING ELECTRONIC TOLL TRANSPONDERS.
They sit down and figure 'oh, it's automatic which means this system will automatically be better and more convenient'
Simple use cases that not one dumbass thought of:
1. You have multiple cars. Becomes a part time job to move it around. So you end up having to get a bunch of these fuckers
2. If it misses, you have to have an elaborate system to do it by license plate anyway...
3. If you do forget it you can't pay manually because of the license plate secondary method or risk paying twice (many don't even let you pay manually)
4. You can use it in somebody else's car and forget it. Then what? Guess we're blowing through tolls today because we can't pay manually since our license plate is linked
5. If something does fuck up time to jump through rings of fire to prove you own a transponder and it's their fault, and even then they'll try to hit you with a fine claiming you weren't displaying the transponder. Just you watch.
Now the FOSS section of the argument
6. Proprietary system, scanning all your license plates and transponders. That's enough data to be thoroughly abused.
7. Interoperability problems.
So thanks for getting rid of cash, the fast and easy way to paying tolls and opening up the clusterfuck portal to allow fucks of clusters into our world which has already been overrun with dumb jackasses, c# and Microsoft operating systems and making it that much worse. Congratulations tollway.6
I hate Microsoft. Somehow they always manage to fuck up.
Last time it was Microsoft Store not being able to download software properly because "privacy settings were set improperly". Before that it was constant BSOD's (luckily those have been taken care of for the most part!). And on every goddamn update.. all the fucking settings are reset. Because that's just how useful the Windows registry is for keeping settings persistent. FUCK YOU MICROSHIT!!! Say what you want about Google but at least settings are kept stable in Android across releases. Now tell me Microsoft, how difficult can it really be?! In the words of my operator, CERTIFIED PIECES OF SHIT!!!
But yeah, let's introduce new FEATURES, let's focus our efforts on getting our data collection hooks to hook even deeper into the system! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT USERS WANT!!! No Microshaft, fuck you. Nobody wants those data collection hooks. But data is money, right? Your users are nothing but data batteries, right? Fuck you Microsoft.5
Fuck Microsoft! 😡
I bought the new xBox One S....
Turns out it's not compatible with my home network and you can't set it up without an internet connection.
Ended up using my phone data (2GB used) just so I could do the updates required to watch a 4K movie.
Oh well, I guess I'll have to wait for the new internet connection arriving Monday 😔7
Fuck you Windows!
It fucking started to update while I had to left for hour! My Gimp project is gone, because it had to bloody update. Someone should sue those assholes. Why Linux can wait for you to update and do it without restarting whole computer?! Is it really that hard to do that? Ohh wait, it's Microsoft!8
So, a few months back my mother had some issues with her windows 10 box not being able to do proper backups to a backup partition. At the same time I was pulling insane hours at work and writing on a eBook on commission for a guy, besides having small kids with on and off flu and shit.
Needless to say, I didn't have time to look at the backup issues. Well, even though my mom is one of those dogs you can't teach new tricks, she has always been resourceful enough to get help with things.
This time she picked up the phone and called Microsoft Support, got some guys to remote in and take a look. They messed around a bit and said they were done.
She phoned me up later that day to tell me how proud she was of herself for doing that. Of course, she skipped telling me the important bit about she actually calling them, rather describing it as "Microsoft was just on my computer and fixed it".
You can imagine my immediate reaction, cold sweat running down my back, adrenalin rushing in as I dug through the details of what had happened.
A few days later she calls me up again and tells me the problem is back, and we agree that even though the MS dudes was not able to fix it at first, she should try again, as she had a ticket to reference.
The next attempt by MS actually fried her partitions, and apparently they had f-ed up trying to delete and recreate the backup partition.
That's not the worst of it though. Since they fried her disk, her computer crashed and naturally the remoting won't work. In our country, they have no people on the ground to do hands on help, and they didn't have a partner near by. Her not having a win 10 usb stick, nor a spare computer to make one, she was in a surreal predicament.
She was also quite pissed, and pissed off mums are not to be messed with. She managed to get Microsoft to agree to cover the costs of a non-partner to visit her to fix the problems, and using her as the middle man, they made an agreement with the 3rd-party tech support company.
After the box was fixed though, some more issues arose... regarding billing. The 3rd-party tech support was unable to get in contact with the person at MS that was going to sign off on the bill, and again using my mom as the middle man, it was agreed that my mom, as the customer, was to be reimbursed for the bill to the 3rd-party.
Guess what... 3 months went by, with weekly follow-ups and nagging from my mom, and still no money...
At this time, I had time to help her, and after some digging and borderline stalking, we managed to get the phone numbers of some of the higher ups in my country, and she started calling them directly.
After talking to a couple who refused to help, she reached the Vice President of the country branch, and was finally able to talk to someone who gave a shit.
Still took over a month more to actually get the money, but now she had someone who actually gave her statuses, receipts and ETAs.
I fucking hate people that talk bad about things they know nothing about.
The best thing that I have learned is to always keep my mind open.
From "Linux sucks because there is no software" to "MacBooks are just for rich morons" to "All Microsoft tech is shit" to "CS degrees are just a bunch of useless math" to "Bing sucks".
Fuck, what do you know?? You never spent 5 minutes to try them or get informed about them. You have your shitty ideas and will keep having them because you don't care about the truth... You only care about your comfort zone.
Yes, Bing sucks. I tried it. Google shows me better results.
iPhone might suck. I don't know. Never had the opportunity to try one for long enough.
Whenever you're throwing shit at something, stop and ask yourself: do I know the whole story?11
Gotta love when you have something breaking because of an interface you have to maintain for a subcontractor for some shit that never should have been subcontracted in the first place and the problem is an obscure error caused by a Microsoft product that you're only using because the other Microsoft product you were using is no longer supported. So I guess what I am saying is fuck subcontractors, fuck Microsoft, and fuck tlb files
Helping this lady with her Microsoft Access work. Wrote some complex Visual Basic script to make the database look pretty. This is what she is asking:
"Hey, where did you get all this code from? YouTube? Can you please send me the link?"
ffs I'm a dev, why the fuck do you think I need YouTube for this simple VBA script.3
Just reinstalled Windows to an SSD, so I'm reinstalling MS office. Office 365 is helpfully provided by my university. I also use Visio a good bit, and again my University helpfully provides Visio 2016.
Install Office 365.
Download 2.2GB Visio iso.
Mount Visio iso, run setup.exe.
Get this message.
Skype for business is the most useless fuking piece of shit enterprise joke of a software. Fuck you microsoft.10
So I've been doing work for a big ass real estate firm. Managing work of their 12 websites. A month ago they sent a prototype built with React.js which their design agency did. What we did was creating a backend API and an administration area and hooked the prototype to make it dynamic.
Everything was working quite great but around 2-3 days ago their guy who had been looking over the work of this React.js website came up and said that it isn't working in Internet Explorer 11. Bastard didn't mention this earlier throughout the whole month when we had provided him access to a staging server. I coldly replied that the prototype was provided by their design agency. But today the fucker put it all on us and said that it is something we implemented that caused this issue. I had to do some research but I finally managed to run the website in IE11. Bastard tried to steal my weekend.
Fuck IE11, fuck such pig clients, fuck Microsoft. IE, just DIE already you syphilis infected piece of whore's ass!
Before everyone starts saying that I should switch to Linux, I prefer Windows as my primary OS and Linux as a secondary OS.
Anyways, I updated my Windows a few days ago and ever since, instead of fucking shutting down it acts like it goes into hibernation. If I tell you to shut down, that means to shut down, not save everything and reopen everything when I turn you back on.
Besides that, why the fuck is it trying to install some Canon printer driver, that I don't even have! Thus leading it to fail every god time I turn off my PC, and then it says "Updates failed to install."
Seriously, had no problem with Windows until a few days ago. Simple terms, fuck Microsoft right now.6
porra; caralho; toma no cu.
this fucking shit xamarin. I wish the ass who programed the xamarin vs2017 integration to go fuck off.
srsly, I just want to fucking code this fucking fucker VS2017 keep shitting all around me
first I was gonna install it. didn't install because no memory left. fair enough, my fault there.
cleaned 35 gbs.
finish installing VS, with xamarin. FIRST GOD DAMN TIME I create fucking project, 2 fucking errors and 3 warnings. I DIDN'T EVEN TYPE A COMMA.
ok, tried fucking it. it seems to be conflict between version of Android and xamarin forms. fucker you it shouldn't be like this. anyway.
tried downloading the updated Android version.
it failed at 80%! what error you ask? missing fucking space ok, fuck that thing is huge, ok, my fault again. uninstalled all programs I was not using, all projects I'm not current working on. more fucking 30GB free. tried again. ANDROID IS TOO FUVKING HUGE CAN'T INSTALL IN 30GB!!!
Ok. instead of updating android, gonna downgrade xamarin, can't downgrade. ok gonna remove and install an early version.
unistalled. CAN'T FIND XAMARIN DLLS.
I was like, fuck this project, gonna start a new one. ok, all seems fine, for some weird reason. Except no. I try adding a new page, ops, APPARENTLY VS2017 CAN'T LOAD A GODDAMN .XAML
Ok, I can create a .cs page. done, except now I get a fucking timeout error. fuck.
I search the internet for a workaround, see a guy saying I could manually add a .xaml + .cs by creating this files and then adding them to the proj file.
did it. I go again, everything seems fine. but now I can't freaking reference the damn page.
I'm fucking losing my mind here.
In the mean time I have to turn in this project at the end of the week AND I CAN'T FUCKING OPEN THE GOD DAMN FREKING PROJECT PROPERLY!
FUCK. MY. LIFE.
FUCK XAMARIM AS WELL
FUCK VISUAL STUDIO
FUCK THAT DAMN SSD
FUCK THAT BOSS WHO THINK THAT A 128GB SSD IS ENOUGH
FUCK IT ALL...15
So I enventually spent 2 years working for that company with a strong b2b market. Everything from the checkouts in their 6 b2c stores to the softwares used by the 30-people sales team was dependant on the main ERP shit home-built with this monstruosity we call Windev here in France. If you don't know it just google and have some laugh : this is a proprieteray FRENCH language. Not french like made by french people, well that too, but mostly french like the fucking language is un fucking french ! Instructions are on french, everything. Hey that's my natural language okay, but for code, really ?
The php website was using the ERP database too, even all the software/hardware of the massive logistic installation they had (like a tiny Amazon depot), and of course the emails of all employees. Everything was just handled by this unique shitty and so sloooooow fucking app. When there was to many clients on the website or even too many salespeople connected to the ERP at the same time, every-fuckin-piece of the company was slowing down, and even worse facing critical bugs. So they installed a monitor in the corner of a desk constantly showing the live report page of Google analytics and they started panic attacks everytime it was counting more than 30 sessions on the website. That was at the time fun and sad to observe.
The whole shit was created 12 years ago and is since maintened locally by one unique old-fashion-microsoft dev who also have to maintain all the hardware of all the fucking 150+ people business. You know, when the keyboard of anyone is "broken" cause it's unplugged... That's his job too. The poor guy was totally overstressed on a daily basis and his tech knowledge just saddly losts themeselves somewhere in the way. He was my n+1 in a tech team of 3 people : him, a young and inexperimented so-called "php developer" who was in charge of the website (btw full of security holes I discovered and dealed with when I first arrive at the job), and myself.
The database was a hell of 100+ tables of business and marketing data with a ton of specific logic added on-the-go during years. No consistent data model or naming. No utf8. Fucked up relations that ends with queries long enough to fill books. And that's not all, all the customers passwords was just stored there uncrypted. Several very big companies and administrations were some of these clients. I was insisting on the passwords point litterally all the time, that was an easy security fix and a good start... But no, in two years of discussions on the subject I never achieved to have them focusing on other considerations than "our customers like that we can remind them their password by a simple phone call if they lost it". What. The. Fuck. WHATTHEFUCK!
Eventually I ran myself out of this nightmare. I had a few bad jobs already, and worked on shitty software already. But that one really blows my mind (and motivation for a time too). Happy it's over.1
Microsoft added a new feature to windows 10. With the last update i did last week, you are able to put a filter over your screen... I accidentally pressed win+ctrl+c and everything turned into gray. It took me an hour to find the solution... Who the fuck created this hotkey?8
Mother fucking candy crush cunts fucking Microsoft FUCK OFF REPEATEDLY REINSTALLING THIS FUCKING SHIT!!! THREE FUCKING TIMES TODAY I HAVE 'UNINSTALLED' THEM. Yet somehow, they keep FUCKING COMING BACK. not updating, haven't even clicked ok to install them, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO CONTROL MY PC MØRE THAN I DO! FUCK OFF!11
Am I the only one who hates all of this fucking UEFI bullshit, my hate for Microsoft had decreased, but now I fucking hate it now!
FUCK YOU FUCKING MICROSOFT AND YOUR STUPID SHITTY OS AT LEAST ALLOW ME TO RUN ANOTHER FUCKING OPERATING SYSTEM12
tldr: Fuck Apple AND Microsoft...
Tried to check my "me" email today (iCloud)... and well it's apparently "locked" for god only knows what reason, and they will only let me recover it through a Hotmail account that I haven't used in >10years.. So I tried that and after one login attempt outlook.com is telling me "you've entered too many wrong password attempts, you must reset your password"... ugh OK, so I hit the button and it's asking me "my" security question.. 'where did you and your spouse meet?'.. wtf? I'm not married now nor was I @12yrs old when I made this account....
Well thanks so I guess that's fucked for forever...7
The reason for half the web-dev world sufferings is that Microsoft won't stop choking their users with explorer or edge, and half of the client are too dumb or lazy to download a different browser to test stuff. Fuck this shit man! Nothing works the way it should on this bitch.
Everytime my manager says- It should work perfectly on IE because client doesn't have any other browser, I curse IE for exisiting. If you can't improve it, just remove it you freakin' sadists. It'll not be an embarrassment to load something better on your OS. If anything, it'll get people to like you maybe. Like you for accepting your fuckery and making a decision in favor of the web dev world and innocent windows users, who only use your explorer to download other browser asap. For just that one time and for all your arrogance, you're making the whole world suffer.3
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT
GO FIX YOUR FUCKIN C# METHODS
Language felt good but jesus fuckin christ.
HOW YOUR File.Exists() can be so retarded jesus fuckin christ
I mean god, how retarded can it be when i obtain the current directory with your builtin method (System.Environment.CurrentDirectory) attach to it the directory name with the images i need and I ALWAYS GET FALSE ABOUT ITEMS THAT ARE FUCKIN THERE.
Fix your fuckin encodings too, suckers.6
Fuck microsoft and fuck everyone who buys out services just to create a monopoly:
"We don’t have a date for closing Wunderlist’s service yet, so you can continue to use it for now, even though we recommend everyone to also check out Microsoft To-Do." – Marcel, 9/11/201715
What the fuck Microsoft !! Your android apps are total piece of shit! Fucking outlook Android app don't have support to view doc file which is created using your shitty Microsoft teams portal.
If I click on that doc file link through my outlook app, you redirect me to chrome.
Ok that's still acceptable. But the real shit starts now. You tell me that your browser isn't supported! Is this fucking joke?? Who in the world develops a website which can't support latest version of Android chrome?
Now that I have installed your shitty Microsoft teams app, it doesn't show up in "open with" options. Clicking on that link is still redirecting to the chrome saying that browser is unsupported.
Also, your shitty Microsoft teams app can't edit fucking doc file. When I click on your Microsoft word icon, You again ask me to install Android app for Microsoft word.
Seriously fuck you Microsoft and your shitty apps!2
this.isrant = true
Visual studio YOU BITCH!
2 hours of struggling to enable VT-X for docker but never seeming to be enabled when I boot back from the BIOS, turns out the motherfucking IDE sneakily enables hyper-v when I install Windows phone SDK, which I apparently need for xamarin. Well Microsoft? GO FUCK YOURSELF. I ONLY USE YOU FOR THE SUPPORT! I hate Microsoft and it's sneaky background shit that I don't know about and would probably freak out about if I did. I'm swapping to Ubuntu with MSSQL and MonoDevelop ASAP6
NO MICROSOFT FOR FUCK SAKE NO!
I have a fucking 15inch screen and that left side menu is eating 25% of it! IF you gonna throw in a new "Creative" design, make the damn menu re sizable, NO I DO NOT WANT TO HIDE THE LABELS AND MEMORIZE YOUR STUPID ICONS!
At least do what Gitlab did, a nice small menu that DOES NOT EAT HALF THE DAMN SCREEN!
Oh, did I say anything about sub menu hell that pops up whenever your mouse hover over any of the items on the left? Yaaa... that goes to a brand new rant!19
Also known as TMM or The Money Machine, the greatest of all frauds, father of bugs.
A fucker who doesn’t want to pay a loan to get a MCSE certificate.
Note: I will try to avoid the training class as much as possible, good thing books exist.
For the last 20 years, there's one thing I've not been able to do reliably:
Share a folder on a windows computer.
Why the fuck can I write /etc/smb.conf from scratch with a blindfold on and make it securely work from all client devices including auth & acl, but when I rightclick and share on windows it's either playing hide and seek on the network (is it hiding behind //hostname/share? No? Maybe in the bushes behind the IP addresses?), or it's protected by mysterious logins requiring you to sacrifice two kittens a day.
Yes, finally it works! One windows update later... aaaand it's gone.
JUST GIVE ME A FUCKING CONF AND A MAN PAGE, MICROSOFT. I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE ORALLY PLEASING ALL THESE MALWARE RIDDEN GUISLUTS ON THE SIDE, JUST GIVE ME A FUCKING TEXT FILE TO STORE AND EDIT.4
FUCK YOU ACCESS!!! FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!! FUCK YOU DB PROF FOR FORCING IS TO USE THIS FUCKING PEACE OF CRAPWARE!!!
In the time I spent cursing at Microsofts bullshit I could have done the task twice in MySQL and would already have a nice looking fucking UI for this shit. FUCKING HELL.2
I've been using visual studio for years and always found debugging pretty fun. At my new job I have to use xcode and FUCK DEBUGGING IN THAT ILLEIGBLE SHIT TIER DEBUGGER. and fuck objective-c, at least you can ignore the objective part and just code c..
I never thought I would say this, but damn, I miss Microsoft.10
WHY THE FUCK DOES WINDOWS 10 INSTALL TONS OF APPS (GAMES AMONG THEM) BY DEFAULT!?
I recently went home for some vaycay and my mom got a new pc and asked me to help install Windows 10 on it. After the install, there were not only the default apps (weather, xbox, etc) but countless games (candy crush, ...) and other bullshit preinstalled! And this was a download from M$, not some vendor specific install disk (we know they love to bloat)
Seriously wtf?! Also, the first thing the install asks you now is to talk with cortana!? And 2 billion checkmarks about sending data that are all ON by default!? HOLY SHIT MICROSOFT. Get your fucking spyware out of my face!!
My mom, luckily, thought the same, and we then installed at least Windows 7. (I'll not even try to get her on Linux, that's a support job I'm not taking)
The next night i literally had a nightmare that my samsung phone got a system update that made all preinstalled apps non-removable and installed a bunch of shit as well. And because all the new shit took so much space it deleted my data.
Fuck was i happy when i woke up lol5
There’s a new macOS update..
Me: install now..
Os: there’s another account active, blah blah blah.. please accept our new GPL..
Me: fair enough.. accept GPL..
OS again: Hi blah blah, same message..
Me: ok I’ll try „do it later“..
Os: there’s another account active, blah blah blah.. GPL..
Me: go fuck your self, fuck your overpriced hardware, go guck your software that’s way worse than it was 5 years ago, go fuck YOU!!!
OS: I know I suck, but we don’t Care. So please accept our new GPL.
Thanks apple for becoming what Microsoft was 10 years ago..,
windows update bricked my touchpad.
rebooting bricked my keyboards.
reinstalling windows fixed my keyboards but not my touchpad.
this has been going for a week now.
i'm moving back to linux. maybe i'll try arch this time around.
fuck you microsoft.
ps: my touchpad seems to be permanently bricked.31
Okay. I’m upset. So the recent .NET update Microsoft put out fried SharePoint which I am currently the main point of contact for at our company. In addition, my only current projects are creating workflows.
I was publishing a workflow and got an error. I googled the error and found that it was the .NET update that caused it. Internet says to edit the web.config file for your web apps and it will be good to go. I go to our networks guy (only available supervisor) and explain what happened and ask about the recent patch and whether this could be the cause. He says that his team doesn’t actually handle the patches so I should speak with the HelpDesk lead (don’t ask).
I go to the HelpDesk lead and explain the situation, explain the solution and ask for what to do next. Keep in mind that this whole thing takes two hours because it’s Friday and everyone is out and I can’t do any of my work while I’m waiting on this. HelpDesk lead says “you have an admin account, I trust you. Go fix it” so I think uh okay.... I’m a junior and not even technically an IT person but sure. I know how to do it - but got nervous about fucking it up because our entire organization uses Sharepoint.
Nevertheless I go to my desk and look for the root directories and find that they’re on a server somewhere that I have no access to. I message the Helpdesk guy and tell him this and he says to talk to the developer supervisor. Great! He’s super nice and helpful and will totally understand! Only he’s not in. Neither is half of his team.
I go to his team and look around and find nobody but realize I may be able to catch one of the guys I know and work with in the break room. I start leaving and am stopped by a developer who is generally nice and funny. I explain the situation and he says “you... YOU need to edit a config file?” And scoffs. He demands to see what I’m talking about.
I walk him to my machine and show him what’s going on and all the research I did. I start to realize he thinks I’m overstepping and I begin to apologize and explain the details to why I was asked to do it and then I say “I really shouldn’t even be the one doing this” he says “no you should not. This isn’t getting done today. Put in a request, include your research and we will see what we can do when the supervisor gets back next week”
His tone was like I was in trouble and I know that I’m not, but it’s my goal to end up on that team and I just feel like shit about this whole situation. To top it off my boss pulled me off of two projects because of unrelated issues (and nothing to do with me) so I have basically nothing to do and I just feel very discouraged. I feel dumb and like I should have gone to the developers first. I just wanted to make it easy on everyone and do my research. I feel like I keep being put in situations above my level (I’m one of two juniors in a 16 person shop, the other one is an intern) and then “getting in trouble” for working beyond my scope.
Anyways.... fuck Microsoft7
PCs are a clusterfuck these days. Microsoft has abandoned the niceness of Win-7 and opted for Win-10 - with spyware, untested forced updates and forced online licence checks to make sure you have to get the shit. Macs are total crap, and Apple doesn't care because they instead prefer to milk customers with overpriced iShit. Linux sucks and looks like a Soviet tractor, but at least, it doesn't fuck up itself just by switching it on.
I had Linux as only OS from 2001 to 2010, and while I obviously can deal with it, I finally hated it enough to switch over to Win-7. From 2020 on, it looks like I will be back because Microsoft has managed to fuck up Windows even worse (and then these suckers wonder why Github users don't trust them). Maybe I'll buy a Tux when I install Linux so that I can punch it in the face.
Progress was yesterday - today it's about damage control. Welcome to a world where the brightest CS guys are thinking about how not only to shove up even more ads into peoples' asses, but how to also transmit lab data of the poo.7
I'm seeing a lot of these rants today and I just felt jealous so...
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!
You can pivot to something more your pace like whittling or something...
FUCK MICROSOFT!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?!?!?!? WHY IS THIS EVEN A THING!?!?!?!?
WHYYYYYY HAVE WE GOT A FUCKING DARK THEME IF WHEN I ADD ANNOTATIONS IN SSIS IT'S HARDCODED COLOURS.
No...seriously...not only am i doing this bullshit waste of time redundant annotations for some bullshit client that thinks they know shit but when I use the dark theme like a normal person, if you go back to a normal theme, all annotations in white.
Just finished like 30 packages on this slow ass remote connection and now all these backward ass people that use light themes (like everyone but me) can't see anything written.
Fuck you Microsoft!!!!! Soooooo many fucks for you right now....don't even know how to express the fucks.4
Windows rant incoming!
For fucks sake! I think Windows have asked me 117 times if I want to update now. The answer is still fucking no!
And I don't care how much of a security improvement it might be, when your shitty update causes a Memory Management error.
So fuck off, stop minimising my game while I play and go fix your shitty update first!
Fuck you Microsoft, fuck your QA team and while I'm at it, I want to say fuck you to all versions of Windows Server as well!7
Windows 10 Action Center yesterday alerted me to set a PIN for my laptop.
Turned on PC this morning and typed in my regular password then realized it wanted the PIN.
Thinking how this feature came to be....
1. Windows wants you to link your login to your Microsoft/Hotmail Account and it makes it a pain in the ass to set a seperate one (Windows 8)
2. 2018 arrived an logins are a pain, everything is autologin or PIN/code based (aka short 'unsecure' passwords)
3. MS backtracks and realizes email logins are too long so they make a partial fix which basically reverts back to the pre-Win8 days of a seperate system login.. except now its called a new feature!
I realized now under enter a PIN the reason for the checkbox that says: Allow symbols and letters. It's a nice way of saying: please type in your old password again.
**Also rant #2: cuz i dont feel like waiting 1hr**
I felt great yesterday when my boss told me apparantly I have like an Expert designation at the company.
Feel like crap today cuz some user is complaining about some report:
- they asked us to create months ago
- now complaining its all wrong but never gave any formal requirements and actually did sign off on it during testing
- FIXED ASAP
HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! STOP MAKING IT SOUND LIKE IT'S MY FAULT U CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO PROVIDE CLEAR REQUIREMENTS AND THEN TAKING FOREVER TO COME BACK WITH UR PROBLEMS AND NOW NEED IT FIXED ASAP BY USING A NEW DATA SOURCE THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS SINCE U USED A RANDOM ABBREVIATION LIKE I CAN MIND READ.
IF I COULD MINDREAD, ID BE WORKING ON A PLAN TO GET UR ASS FIRED.....
Happy friday and long weekend... Got 3 days to relax before i need to deal with this shit again...2
That would be Sony.
Mainly because the of PlayStation 4. I mean what kind of company blocks the access to third party’s account so you can use it only on their console (the Fortnite situation). That’s literally saying “we own you, bitch”. Even Apple doesn’t do that kind of crap.
Fuck Sony and their PlayStation. I’m sticking with Xbox. Yes, it doesn’t have as many of exclusives. Yes, it’s made by Microsoft - the same company which made Windows 10. But fuck Sony even more than them.2
There's no winning.
Went to node.js for a year:
Types you heathens, types! Oh what the fuck is this mess? Geezuz, I guess that works but it's kinda gross...
Now I'm back to C#:
You fucking window-lickers, it's concurrency not parallelism! This shit isn't hard, just stop spinning up threads for database calls. Oh sweet shit even the Microsoft documentation is confused fuck this...4
I think VS code is the only product from Microsoft which is not broken like I'm writing in it and it feels good. Extensions are great, integration with git is also really good and debuger isn't complete bullshit. I had Sublime before but I switched it to VS code just to try it and I'm keeping it.
I know it isn't lightweight like other editors but fuck it... VS code is great
What are you using to code?4
That's it, where do I send the bill, to Microsoft? Orange highlight in image is my own. As in ownly way to see that something wasn't right. Oh but - Wait, I am on Linux, so I guess I will assume that I need to be on internet explorer to use anything on microsoft.com - is that on the site somewhere maybe? Cause it looks like hell when rendered from Chrome on Ubuntu. Yes I use Ubuntu while developing, eat it haters. FUCK.
This is ridiculous - I actually WANT to use Bing Web Search API. I actually TRIED giving up my email address and phone number to MS. If you fail the I'm not a robot, or if you pass it, who knows, it disappears and says something about being human. I'm human. Give me free API Key. Or shit, I'll pay. Client wants to use Bing so I am using BING GODDAMN YOU.
Why am I so mad? BECAUSE THIS. Oauth through github, great alternative since apparently I am not human according to microsoft. Common theme w them, amiright?
So yeah. Let them see all my githubs. Whatever. Just GO so I can RELAX. Rate limit fuck shit workaround dumb client requirements google can eat me. Whats this, I need to show my email publicly? Verification? Sure just go. But really MS, this looks terrible. If I boot up IE will it look any better? I doubt it but who knows I am not looking at MS CSS. I am going into my github, making it public. Then trying again. Then waiting. Then verifying my email is shown. Great it is hello everyone. COME ON MS. Send me an email. Do something.
I am trying to be patient, but after a few minutes, I revoke access. Must have been a glitch. Go through it again, with public email. Same ugly almost invisible message. Approaching a billable hour in which I made 0 progress. So, lets just see, NO EMAIL from MS, Yes it appears in my GitHub, but I have no way to log into MS. Email doesnt work. OAuth isn't picking it up I guess, I don't even care to think this through.
The whole point is, the error message was hard to discover, seems to be inaccurate, and I can't believe the IRONY or the STUPIDITY (me, me stupid. Me stupid thinking I could get working doing same dumb thing over and over like caveman and rock).
Longer rant made shorter, I cant come up with a single fucking way to get a free BING API Key. So forget it MS. Maybe you'll email me tomorrow. Maybe Github was pretending to be Gitlab for a few minutes.
Maybe I will send this image to my client and tell him "If we use Bing, get used to seeing hard to read error messages like this one". I mean that's why this is so frustrating anyhow - I thought the Google CSE worked FINE for us :/
Microsoft will add Ubuntu to its windows store, which will help installers to use linux tools on top of its system. Fuck you Microsoft, fuck you.24
If Windows 10 had a free version with ads and a paid version without all that crap on it, I’d upgrade my Windows partition. Since even by paying the licence I got ads on it, go fuck yourself, Windows 7 is still okay.9
Stories like the one I'm about to tell you are just another reason why people hate Windows. I know I usually preach 'Don't hate everything' and shit, but this is a real big fucking deal when it hits your desktop for no reason.
Now, onto the actual story...
Background: Playing with my Oculus, fixing issues like forgetting to use USB3 and stuff. I learned about an issue with Nvidia GPUs, where in Windows, they can only support 4 simultaneous displays per GPU. I only have the one GPU in my system, Nova, so I have to unplug a monitor to get Oculus and its virtual window thingy working. Alright, friend gave me idea of using my old GPU to drive one of my lesser used monitors, my right one. Great idea I thought, I'll install it a bit later.
A bit later...
I plug the GPU in (after 3 tries of missing the PCI-E slot, fuckers) and for some reason I'm getting boot issues. It's booting to the wrong drive, sometimes it'll not even bother TRYING to boot, suddenly one of my hard drives isn't even being recognized in BIOS, fuck. Alright, is the GPU at least being recognized? Shit, it isn't. FUCKFUCKFUCK.
Oh wait. I just forgot the power cable Duh. Plug that in, same issues. Alright, now I have no idea. Try desperately to boot, but it just won't I start getting boot error 0xc000000f. Critical device not found. Alrighty then. Fuck my life, eh?
Remove the GPU, look around a bit while frantically trying to boot the system, and I notice an oddly bent SATA cable. I look at it and the bastard is FRAYED AT THE END! Fuck, that's my main SSD! I finally replace the SATA cable and boot, still the same error... Boot into a recovery environment, and guess what?
Windows has decided to change my boot partition, ya know, the FUCKING C: DRIVE, from NTFS to RAW format, stripping it of formatting! What the actual fuck Microsoft? You just took a shit on yourself while having a seizure on the fucking MOON! Fine, fuck you, I have recovery USB! Oh, shit, that won't boot... I have an old installation! Boot ITS recovery, try desperately to find a fix online... CHKDSK C: /F... alright, repairing, awesome! Repaired, I can see data, but not boot. So now I'm at the point where I'm waiting for a USB installer to be created over USB 2.0. Wheeeeeeeeee. FML.
THESE are the times I usually hate Windows a lot. And I do. But it gets MOST of my work done. Except when it does this.
I'm already pissed, so don't go into the comments and just hate on Windows completely. Just a little. The main post is for the main hate. Deal with it. And I know that someone is going to come at me "Ohhhhh, you need FUCKIN LIIIIIIINUUUUUUUXXXXXXXX!' Want to know my response to that?
ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME, WINDOWS?
I finally give in and install your stupid ass update, and what happens? let's just skip the part where i sit around for 30 minutes because apparently it takes 30 fucking minutes to install 300MB - by stallman's underpants, that's 150KB per second!
and when windows FINALLY feels like it has finished fondling it's binary-balls, what is waiting for me?
about 10 stupid-ass data-consent notices straight from satans anus, more weird yes-or-maybe settings for cortana (bill gates' ex or whatever that is) which i don't even USE, my browser speed dial has been complemented by about 7 links to SHOPPING SITES and once i sort that mess out i get a notification that the german language pack has successfully been installed.
SUCK MY FUCKING D*CK MICROSOFT, the ONLY thing i want to do with that language pack is SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. i can't even uninstall that moronic piece of shit. FUCK YOU.2
WHAT GOOD IS ANGULAR2 IF YOU CAN'T FUCKING USE REACTIVE FORMS TO HAVE A SELECTED DISABLED OPTION INSIDE OF A FUCKING <SELECT> ELEMENT?!
FUCK YOU ANGULAR! FUCK YOU TO THE END OF DAYS, YOU WORTHLESS SACK OF SHIT WITH OVER-ENGINEERED SOLUTIONS! THE ONLY GOOD THING YOU HAVE IS TYPESCRIPT AND EVEN THAT BELONGS TO FUCKING MICROSOFT!
FUCK YOU ANGULAR FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!1
Dear Microsoft power bi team.
Go fuck yourself. Put that dashboard up your ass. The documentation for this is a joke.
The doc says I can get my tokens from azure portal. But guess what. The portal is a sea. And seems like powerbi is moved out from portal to its own powerbi.fuckyoumicrosoft.com
What the actual fuck you dimwits. Why don't you document it properly ?
For fuck sake. Go show up your analytics deep into your pie chart.2
Just an update : never fucking install windows 7 on a new desktop without first reading , fucking piece of shit won’t detect my SSD , tried different solution over the Internet to no success, after 3 hours of nerve wrecking debugging I read a post on the Internet that “some”(not sure which) versions of windows just don’t detect an SSD,
Finally done by installing windows 10,
But nooooooo will windows let me die in peace, noooooooo
Every fucking time I restart my PC “ windows is installing updates
I mean fuck you , how fucking many bugs do you squash in a day.
Probably some engineer at Microsoft will be “ oops o dropped a donut on my keyboard, let just press ctrl + z” to undo changes and upload , lol “8
I’M COMIC SANS, ASSHOLE
Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.
You don’t like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-law’s blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I’m standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.
People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.
When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding “Reign In Blood” on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.
It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.
Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.
by Mike Lacher, https://mcsweeneys.net/articles/...4
Holy fucking shit are email clients bullshit.
I don't know what happened there but if you thought the chrome-firefox-ie-egde gaps back in the days were sick - let me tell you.. email clients are made by the devil himself. All of them. All of them? Yup. Because he made some of them being owned by apple, working beatuiful and no weird stuff.
But on the same end he made some of them owned by microsoft and their office Studios. They use the word engine to render html emails. Read this again. Read it without starting to cry in agony.
But thats not enough. Let's make some of them use an ie-engine and the mac os variants going to use some webkit based renderer. This way there will be no valid ruleset to make it look good on all of them, isn't this great??
Now this might be hell already. But lets pour more salt into these wide opened wounds.
Let there be Germany and United Internet, owning trash like Web.de and GMX, whose android clients going to work completely different across Android and app-versions!
Once you've mastered these, let me introduce you to gmail. Lets take only the body node of your email and do some fuck up with it, so you have to display a non-responsive variant on mobile.
Now you might be thinking "but there are web-based clients, they'll do good ain't they?" Long story short: fuck you.
Let's go back to ms.
Hey dude lets make it possible to scale up your whole system. So old people can read shit better. And now the funny part: let's make it so that the word rendering engine, rendering emails goes completely mayhem on your mail, so it looks like a completely different thing! (:
If you ever receive a newsletter in your inbox and that shit looks like it's planned to look like.. appreciate that shit. Sacrifice a virgin as thanksgiving for it.
E-Mail needs to die. I'm doing this for over 2 years now and this shit needs to stop asap.4
THE FUCK MICROSOFT?! HOW COULD YOU FUCK UP ALT+BACKSPACE IN WORD 2016 WHAT IS THIS SHIT SUPPOSED TO DO IT MAKES NO SENSE, YOU CANNOT EVEN UNDO IT WHAT FAGGOT TESTED YOUR UI WHILE BEEING HIGH ON REDMOND DIRT. AND WHICH KIND OF MASTURBATING MONKEY IMPLEMENTED THIS SHIT.8
I absolutely fuckin hate sysprep!!!
Fuckin mother fuckin shit cock balls saggy tits wrinkled ass cunt3
Why the fuck does microsoft feel the need to be different?
One small example is VBA (Visual Basic for Applications).
When calling a function iw does not allow you to use brackets.
Example: Funct (arg1, arg2) is not valid but Funct arg1, arg2 is.
If you want the damed brackets you'll have to use call.
Call Funct ( arg1, arg2)
because after the first function is called, functions within that as arguments need to have the brackets...9
Had a Windows update the other day. Now hyperv isn't working anymore.
I fixed it but why the fuck does the update change the group policy settings? It's supposed to update the system not poke around in my settings!3
Argh fuck you Microsoft for blocking my precious mail server. I can't believe that you were the only one. Even google accepts my mails with every fucking test passed...
Oh and not to mention that in the no delivery report you are referring an error code which is not present on the linked troubleshoot page. Thank you once more, you piece of shit.
Should have listened to the articles about why I don't want an own mail server...18
yaay just deployed my first asp.net site ever.
ALSO FUCK YOU MICROSOFT FOR WASTING 2 FUCKING DAYS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY I WAS GETTING 502.5 ERROR ONLY TO KNOW THAT I HAD TO DELETE THE WWWROOT FOLDER1
At that moment when u r trying to promote the code and boom.
And are you really happy to pay Microsoft for this ? Fuck sake NO 😡12
The hardest thing I've done in the last few years, was leaving microsofts fucking insider program for windows, so hard to fucking get out. Fuck you microsoft.
So I have bought a new laptop and this time instead of straight up booting linux I had an idea of giving micro$oft a try, so I have decided to use only their services for 2 weeks.
To be honest, I really did not expect windows to use do much cpu and hdd during updates and background tasks, but after a day it was ok and windows feels snappier than during my last encounrer (maybe cause the new hw?).
I was even so dedicated that I started to use cortana and I have to tell, that she is dumb as fuck, since she fails to understand even the basic tasks and if u want something advanced, she refers to the next update. But boy, tell her to open Visual Studio and she asks if you want VS Code or Visual Studio, which seems great. But my response was 'Code' then she insisted that I said Coke. Im like OK, Im not native english speaker, lets try Visual Studio Code, where she told me that there is no such thing and Spelling VS - Code ended me in bing search for Unesco :/
I really want to like Cortana, she has nice name, nice history, but she is like that A girl from class, who looks gorgeous, has great voice, but then u reallise that she just eats a book before exam and after that she is that dumb basic hoe.
I also gave a shot to Bing and Edge. Bing is something between Google and DuckDuckGo, since it gives you a liiitle less results from search history, yet if you want to find something in different language its even possible to tell you that what are you trying to find does not exist.
But I have to tell, that I like Edge and I mean it. Like... Its fast and has some good features, like pushing all your open tavs away, so you can open them Later. It also does not have that stupid ass feature that lets you control tab from left to right, not by chronological order, so you wont end up in infinity loop of 2 tabs. And even if people make fun of M$ trying to convince you to use Edge by being too aggresive. God go on edge and try to use some Google Service(You still dont use chrome?!).
I also tried to play with .Net core and I have to tell that against java they are a bit further. I liked some small features, but what I just simply loved was rhe fucking documentation. You basically dont need google, sincw they give you examples and explain in a human way.
What I didnt quite get was the 'big' Visual Studio. Tje dark theme to me feels strange(personal and irrelevant). Why the hell I do need to press 2 shortcuts to duplicate line?! Why is it so hard to find a plugin to give me back my coloured brackets and why the fuck it takes like a second to Cut one line of code on a damn i7?!
Visual studio Code was something different. It shows how dark theme should be done, the plugin market is full of stuff and the damn shortcuts are not made for octopi. So I have to recommend it ^^.
I even gave a shot to word and office as a whole and fuck I never knew that there are so many templates. It really made my life easier, since all you need to do is find the right one in the app, instead of browsing templates online, where half of them are for another version of your text editor.
Android Launcher was fast, had a clever widget of notes and the sync was pretty handy to be honest so I liked that one as well.
What made me furious was using the CLI. Godfucking damn what the fuck is ipconfig?! :/
Last thing what made me superbhappy was using stuff without wine and all of the addional shit. Especially using stuff like Afinity Designer and having good looking apps in general. I mean Open source has great tools l sometimes with better functionality. But I found out, that what is pleasure to look at, is pleasure to work with.
To Summarize a bit.
It wasnt that bad as I expected. I see where they are heading with building yet another ecosystem of It just works and that they are aiming at professionals once again.
So I would rate it 6/10, would be 7 if that shit was Posix compatible.
I know that for Balmer is a special place in hell... But with that new CEO, Microsoft at the end may make it to purgatory..5
Fuck you Microsoft for adding so many unnecessary fetures that nobody Needs/wants to use and which also slow down my pc.
I am specifically talking About that sily history-feature which is present for a few months now.
Guess what? I don't need it! Why? BECAUSE I DON'T USE EDGE SO THERE IS NO HISTORY TO LOAD. I DON'T USE (NEITHER I WAN'T TO) YOUR SLOW PHOTOS APP TO SEE IT IN THE WINDOWS HISTORY. I DON'TUSE ANY OF YOOUR SILLY INBUILT UWP APPS.
Since the update which added this feature, my pc is like 2 times slower, because it loads the whole last-5 months history.
Hey, thank you for nothing!1
So first of all I want to say I am not a Fanboy of any specific language.
But holy fucking shit is ASP.net Core shitty, not only is it practically impossible to fucking start using it considering all documentation and tutorials are for the shitty outdated ASP.net but it's also fucking redundant with the amount of bullshit you need to do to achieve a task that should be a few lines of code.
Never in my life have I hated anything as hard as I hate that complete shit. On top of all that bullshit you have Fanboys always yelling "Oh but big corporations use it" like what big corporations? Microsoft and Microshit?
Like seriously larger corporations use fucking Node.js and even just C++ more than the shitty ASP.net and ASP.net Core. Don't get me wrong .net in general is pretty good but ASP.net is just a complete fuck up and should not exist.4
Microsoft FUCK YOU!
How the fuck did you lock my account and make it impossible for me to recover it.
I have send you all the information that you have asked me and you still tell me that you can't prove my ownership? Bullshit!
Aggggghhh, this is making so angry since all my accounts are setup to log in with that email account.
This is why I hate technical support people who only reply what is written in a fucking script.
Sorry for swearing that much. Not really. Fuck you Microsoft!1
I just witnessed Microsoft trolling preview setup.
Let me set the scene for you. I was in Visual Studio and saw the notifications and I had a minute so I decided to check them and saw there were updates, this one being one of them. I went to update and first it asked me to close all instances of VS. Fair enough, I close VS and continue. Instead of taking a minute at most to install it took ~10 minutes which is insane, but fine, I stopped my work for it... And then I'm greeted by this gem. Restart your computer for freaking .NET core and trolling.. I'm sorry, tooling... Preview... What the actual fuck Microsoft?2
Visual studio is a fucking piece of trash IDE and it should be banned from programming because of how SHIT it is, how can it not let met fucking reference things properly, why can't I acess the FUCKING FOLDER I'VE JUST CREATED, how can it not recognize that I've just added a folder from outside??
WHY EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE DIFFUCULT WITH IT??????
Why can't it be smart like Android Studio :cries:
YOU ARE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MICROSOFT, FIX YOUR FUCKING STUPID PIECE OF SHIT WORTHLESS DUMB IDE, FUCKING BILLIONAIRE COMPANY THAT CAN'T MAKE A SMART IDE, DUMB FUCK VISUAL STUDIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!12
Outlook protection is shit!
Microsoft is blocking our company mail server AND even my private one for a couple of days now for no reason.
Every other mailing black list has nothing to complain but Microsoft: "You want to send a very important mail to your customer? Nope!"
"Yeah, now you tried to use your private server to fool me. Haha, nope! You didn't think I would block IPs randomly, did you?"
Fuck Microsoft! Fuck Outlook protection! Fuck hotmail!1
So I want to boot to no-failure mode on windows 10 to reinstall my video driver...
Start menu > Settings > Security and Update > Restore > Advanced start > Reboot now > Fix > Advanced settings > Settings (yes settings submenu after advanced settings one) > Reboot (total: 9 clicks)
Computer: Press F4 to boot to no failure mode
Me: *Press F4*
Me: *Waits 5 seconds*
Me: *Press F4*
Me: *Is confused*
Me: *Looks at keyboard*
Keyboard: *Is not powered*
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT !!!
*Reboot to normal mode...*
Win+R "msconfig" > Boot > Minimal > "Would you like to reboot your computer now" > Yes
*Reboot to no-failure mode*
EAT THAT PIECE OF SHIT !5
Tried to login to my Test Environment for B2C, was asked for SMS AuthCode because of "suspicious activities" (haven't used it in weeks), gave this crap tool my number and pressed send code - no reaction, gave it the same number without a 0 in front, no reaction, pressed "didn't recevieved code" and got "you can't try again today, try it tomorrow" ... 30 minutes later two auth code sms arrived.
Fuck you Microsoft, just fucking fuck you3
you know you made a shitty product when you need remote desktop to do some usefull work. #surface-rt #microsoft.
I got one for free from my previous employment that is nice. oke i got it but i never use it. it is really the worst product every. now no support what so every. @microsoft: hey let us lock them down so it is secure.... fuck that shit just open the bootloader and let mr use that thing propper.3
That moment when Microsoft come to your college and give a pre-internship presentation talk and you can't ask them why the fuck is windows so fucked.2
Windows 10 Fall Creator Update (1709) is not supporting Samsung SSD 960 Pro M.2 right now.
Always when I try to update it, I get at the start a blue screen with Boot Device not detected. (Error 0xc00000bb)
Thought ok, let's try the update assistens - Nope
Tried to only boot on my M.2 - Nope NOPE
Tried to install upgrade it over a direct Image - Fuck you MoBo, ain't gonna work.
Googled around and everybody with a Samsung 960 Pro have this problem with the update 1709.
Who dafuq test this things at Microsoft? They are forgetting over the bit more expensive customers with a higher end Rigs.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT AND WINDOWS TOGETHER. Im gonna bury you under water with in a fucking bolder.7
Windows is the worst garbage ever...
First I get a virus becouse the antivirus didn't fucking work, then I try and do a system reset WICH FAILS, them u have to get into the uefi and do a system reset back to Windows 8, Windows 8..
So I go to the windows insider program and download the media creator thing and
IT DOESN'T WORK
It just stops at "searching for updates"and now I'm stuck with Windows 8
I can't even get the Nvidia drivers so i can't play games anymore
A big fuck you to Microsoft and merry Christmas
Btw any fixes? Thank you
No I love them all equally... 😂😂😂😂 ... Ok they are mostly all shit , with security holes, features that don't exist but should, terrible docs .... The worst ones , mainly by Microsoft ie, windows 10 updates , windows servers.... But apple ... Fuck them ... Google .... Manipulating barstards ....
There is good software just you usually have to go through the shit to get them, I mean people normally use ie through lack of knowledge , so educate!
Microsoft with the fucking number 10. The Great Windows 7 was in 2009. Windows 10, after 2010. Xbox One, after 2010. Windows 10, 10. 2015, Xbox music was rebranded to *drumroll* fucking Groove music. Now Windows 10's new UI is advertised as a sneak peek with Groove Music open on Desktop. Microsoft, if we want to listen to music we have Youtube, youtube2mp3, and if we are really desperate, Spotify (which is actually pre decent). Fuck you Microsoft, once again.30
I can't find a remote development job and here's Microsoft built a AI that can code. Well fuck you Microsoft, fix your fucken browsers. oh wait...Your AI again suck.
I think it's best I go back to the farm.4
And as always, Windows 10 is preventing me from work. Fuck you Windows update, fuck you Microsoft, fuck you Bill Gates.
Microsoft Word - what the fuck are you doing?
It decided to do whatever-the-fuck-is-going-on-the-screenshot thing before I had the chance to save anything.3
Why the fucking nuget needs a Microsoft/whatever account and asks for it every 3 seconds? FUCK YOU, you can just install dependencies manually without any fucking account why you fucking bug people perpetually with login screens
TLDR: Read the post.
Part of me watches the day fly by as I work through the various stories and issues my company has as we walk through the various phases and clean up of their own stupidity of outsourcing. I guess it would be unfair to say “stupidity” It was really a money thing. Excuses aside, the alcohol today tastes amazing as I work through the issues, nothing is ever the same, nothing is ever redundant or boring. There are times where you want to pull your hair out, jump off a building and question why the hell any one would write code, specifically Laravel this way.
I watch the internet from now and then and see the cry babies whine and complain about GitHub and Microsoft jumping into bed and their favourite, and mine too, editor falling into Microsoft’s hands.
It’s disgusting and completely childish, but I digress. The last time I was here the alcoholism and the loneliness had begun pushing me towards the Nicotine and suicide. I have managed to obviously push through and watch the money come in only for adult life to take it away, I guess that’s life. Complaining about it will do nothing other then show others how much control you lack in your own life. You quiet your complaints and bury them deep inside your mind where they fester and stir and become drowned in alcohol.
Dating is even harder, especially when you work from home, so much so that I have completely given up there, any semblance of social life is buried in Final Fantasy 14 online, where pixels and text other people write have become my friend, at least for a moment or two before the work takes over and I sit in a room blaring music and watching the code I write, appear on screen like some savant who has high functioning autism but can create amazing works of art. I don’t think I am autistic though.
The truth is I don’t mind my job, I love the money and the freedom as I stated before.
Code for me is like a seed of anger that starts deep in my core, festering, eating away at me, killing me slowly and branding me a fool. The problem is the best feeling, when there is a problem I can solve it with code, when there is a problem that cannot be solved by code I take solace in the problems that can be. I don’t like people, I hate offices and I despise dealing with my own personal issues, I would rather drink and vape until the nicotine and the alcohol has made me sufficiently numb.
Code is a place I can escape, a place I have control, a place where I don’t feel like blowing my brains out at the stupidity of other people. Have I mentioned that I hate people?
The internet is full of idiots, people ranting and raving about this and that and how it affects them oh so much, when they don’t even let their own code, there own programming problems, and in most cases shitty solutions, affect them. Look at this GitHub thing, the idiots are running around with their heads cut off, waiting for the world to end or in most cases acting like it has. Companies get bought, bill get paid, people leave each other – Shut the fuck up and deal with it.
I guess if you look back at what I have written you could say the same thing to me, boo-fucking-hoo working from home sucks sometimes, grow up and deal with it like an adult. Fair enough, I’ll take my lumps. Excuse me as I continue to drink this post away and watch the downvotes come in. I guess honesty comes with a double edge sword.
And yes I would rather use alcohol as a solution then deal with the issues.16
Why the fuck does the Execute Process Task from SSIS in Visual Studio fail when trying to use variables in an expression?!?
I've been debugging this shit for hours and have made absolutely no progress. There's no apparent workaround.
Fuck you Microsoft, for leaving a known bug in VS for over a decade, where the expressions are surrounded in double quotes, negating the entire purpose of using an expression for variables!!! 😡2
The wilde difference in native support between IE , gecko and WebKit is like difference between a real burger and MacDonald's,
They're both burgers but one will make you happy and the other will give diarrhea and a swollen butthole
Windows is a software form of cancer.
I just wanted to play Doom 2016 while having an MacBook 12 as my only computer. It didn't worked through Wine, so I decided to go for Bootcamp.
So i've installed windows 10, and after booting back to OSX, I found out that my Bluetooth doesn't work anymore.
I actually got a Mac just to run away from Windows and Windows-ness in all its forms. Speaking ideologically, I by mistake given it a chance to leak through the barriers I build especially to prevent it. Given this kind of chance, it leaked through and spilled over my gorgeous, cute, innocent MacOS, destroying it.
Windows is like aids. Software form of merciless alien pathogen that uses the tiniest kind of chance to leak and serves it's only purpose — destroying everything we call "good", everything we proud of, everything that's valuable to us.
Windows is worse than cancer. It's the software form of pure evil.14
Forced by Adobe to keep copy of windows to work on my art portoflio for a 6 weeks from now that's a big debut. Broke not a dime to my name despite extensive tech skills cause I live in a region each job gets applicants from all over earth and it's just hard to stand out in stack of 10k applications. Not even salty about that.
Only still use Microsoft because Adobe Creative Cloud on Wine is garbage but love my Ubuntu based distros and am trying to make my own to replace SemiCodeOS ( I know apostacy Arch sucks though Alpine is the better effort OS for uses other than fixingbgkk least as internal project.
Today I took break from learning ansible and fired up the other HDD with windows, ussuea. That's fine I'll use a VM burn a iso on q flash drive, issues but it finished. Install activation key gone, I even was being nice and decided to try the insiders build instead of another harder to find on that awful website stable iso.its been 2 hours of them remote accessing and talking other Microsoft employees and I wait. I installed arch in small zotqc box while waiting, gonna try Alpine and throw on a DE and if windows is still being itself turn the zotac into a wireless router for the office (which I used pop OS for in the past but it's got too many power settings that shut down that wifi)
Why would a professional use this shit. Takes forever to get help literally if this bash shell related it'd be fixed and I'd would resulted in learning probably 3 commands. Instead I have to prove I'm not stealing from these bastards but kms pico works without them wtf do think a criminal would need them form sure I discreetly record my desktop and use their fancy commands later but that's because my time has fucking value. Sure support is nice if you are totally without purpose for hours.
Then after this fucking fight with Adobe over their broken ass captcha and how deep you have to root for the for the install exe for the cloud fucking app. There is nothing they produce worth the effort I've put in working with their tools that was easier to do and less fucking pain in my dick that activation of this cluster fuck then dealing with a captcha that sucks another 5-10 minutes away with that bullshit slow fade animation.
We are in the twilight zone of fucking paid OSes and paid photo editing being shit quality while the free formats are actually taking feedback and developing into better overall software. I would've paid for functional shit but that isn't made in tech anymore it's the Walmart came up real quick front the soil of 2013 MacBooks running for 400+ still (they got awful too, solvents for battery changes and it's 3k brand new for a laptop)
Honestly if Adobe doesn't give me free shit, im going back to the free piles of dog shitvforb images, so cleverly titled Pen not
Yesturday when I got off work I turned my PC off and it installed some updates... Came in the today turned on the PC and the fucking Win 10 instantly crashes with Sadface of Death "could not run critical service"
Recovery does not work as usual... No safe mode no nothing!
Fuck you Microsoft just stop puting your nose in to hardware and fix your fucking software! Now I have to reinstall all of my development tools and other work related shit... Thank god I pushed my changes!
kind of annoyed though
'We at microsoft have taken the same approach with words as with your system resources. We do so little with so much.'
This is worse than Apple's bullshit advertising.