TIS 100 the assembly language game.

Guess what i'm doing :p

I am currently working for a client who have all their data in Google Sheets and Drive. I had to write code to fetch that data and it's painful to query that data.
I can definitely relate with this.

PS: Their last year revenue was over US$2 Bn and one of their sibling company is among Top IT companies in the country.

I think this might be too much to handle for a js newbie 😉

im a programmer.

Moms : Son, please fix my phone
Me : what the...
Moms : Cmon ur the IT guy right?

Dad : My laptop must be broken, can u fix it ?
Me : i can't..
Dad : ur degree is useless
Me : ....

Friend : hi, ur the IT guy right ? can u help me ?
Me : Sure ...
Friend : please hack my BF facebook account..
Me : *face Palm.

Coding at its finest

My coworkers are serious when they tell us to double-check.

Me: *Installs travis*

Dev: oh what's travis?

Me: it's a continuous integration tool I wanna setup.

Dev: ... contin.... ?

Me: continuous integration, a tool that performs builds.

Dev: ah!, is it the new version of that deprecated tool we were using "client access"?

Me: ... no ... that's an authentication service that generates and stores oauth tokens. This is the continuous integration tool I told you about yesterday (and last week and the week before).

Dev: ... contin....

Me: ... con ........ continuous integration. It listens to branches on GitHub, downloads, builds, tests and then deploys the code.

Dev: ah ok ok, cool.

I would bet my monthly fucking salary he can not repeat what I said, tell me what oauth is, or explain what he's working on at the minute.

Jesus at this rate I'd bet my salary he can't tell me my name.

I wrote the algorithm which does this :) very happy with the outcome

I worked on a company with an open floor plan where you would get a desk assigned depending on the type of project you worked on. All the desks were modular an you would get a desk with a cube with a set of drawers, or with a locker-like cube with a single space and door. When this guy started, he was assigned a drawer set. Around the third day he went around the office asking anyone with a locker to trade cubes. He finally got one. He filled it up with liquor bottles, cans of juice and several types of glasses. He would prepare himself cocktails during the work day. Once he was enjoying a Coca-Cola and whisky mix when the HR boss came around to ask what he was up. He offered the guy a drink.

I asked my teammates if it would be ok if I made multithreading code for the collisions of our game engine and they just sent me this, I'm going to try anyway. Yolo.

He's making a list
He's testing it twice
SELECT * FROM users WHERE behavior="nice"
SQL-clause is coming
To town.

Credit to @leeflower on Twitter

Christmas came early for my coworker. He wanted 6 monitors, IT is giving him three Samsungs in portrait.

Why did the developer quit his job?

Because he didn't get arrays.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
*5 second pause*
Java

When you come home from a day of programing

My desk buddies have a new friend! Thanks everyone!

On another note, @dfox has over 10k ++ now!!!

Im trying to brute force a rar i made Long ago, sadly i have forgotten the Passwort.
This is how it looks, when you to run it on the length 8-16 at the Same time(all posibilitys).
lets see how Long it will take.
I say 7 Days at 100% cpu usage😂😂

When you think working from home is fun

The best thing about boolean is that even if you are wrong, you are only wrong by a bit.

Got to love 21:9 displays for programming.

I've been trying to push good practices at work, which includes migrating testing environment to vagrant.
Been trying to push it forward for months, and this week, a "genius"co-worker just started complaining we shouldn't overcomplicate and just provision a vm for testing for everyone to use, and boss agrees immediately!
Guess who'll have to maintain it whenever someone remembers to destroy it...

How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, because developers are sensible and rational people.

> gets rejected from upwork
> builds alternative to upwork
> gets funded by old client who uses upwork
> origin story complete