I've done it. I've deactivated my facebook. No more useless BuzzFeed videos. Fuck Facebook

The struggle

Two most contradicting terms.
1. Linux
2. Nvidia

Be me, miss specifying the item in an array so a drop-down doesn't work, get fired from the project and moved to a much lesser project.

Be the other guy, fuck up the app so bad you have to roll back 3 weeks worth of work...no big deal...

Friend: I want to start competitive programming. What should I to ?
Me: You should know at least one programming language like C++ or java ...
Friend: No problem, I know HTML ....
Finally Me: Oh God save me..

Q: What is the most used language in programming?

A: Profanity.

Case closed, stop arguing!

Pro tip - Infect your computer with small viruses to build its immune system.
Kinda shitty tip

An acquaintance (also a CS student) just called C#, c hashtag ಠ_ಠ

So, we got fucking DDoSed today, over 100gbit

George R.R. Martin approves Linux as the most friendly OS.

Poweroutage in the area, suddenly thousands upon thousands of mobile devices is connecting to 4g.
Result? The 4g antenna in the area dies too

Step 1: Turn off any intellisense and debug tools.
Step 2: Code all day without running the code.
Step 3: Push everything to the build server and avoid looking at the result.
Step 4: Go home.

LIKE A BOSS!

devRant has rose astronomically to become my favorite bathroom browsing material. Thanks for making poops that much better, everyone!

So this happened in my computer science class

Creepy guy trying to be cheesy (to this pretty girl): "you're like a ; to my code"
Girl: "we're studying python, bimbo"

(Whole class laughed)

Dual Boot.

I'm so sorry.

Google knows it all

Best "error" I've ever seen today.

We have a very large database with millions of people, some of those records are duplicates. So I had a long project to write something that would automatically merge duplicate records while allowing employees to review them. Today we had a duplicate show up in the list which should not have.

Same name (apart from one letter), address, employee ID (off by 1 number), same manager, title, phone number, birthdate. But we figured out it wasn't the same person and therefore wasn't a good match.

Turns out they are twin sisters who live together and we're hired by the same manager for the same position at the same time. What are the odds...

"So what are your hobbies?"

Me: "programming"

"No i mean your real hobbies, besides the work you do"

Me: *awkward silence*

>be me
>graduate
>find job with a start-up
>offer me 1% share as signup bonus
>why the hell not
>make 50 dollars/hour
>lowkey they didn't give me any real work
>only had to write some simple ass JS functions for the website
>asked boss to work from home
>he accepted
>tfw i get paid to play games, watch tv shows and write the occasional shitty ass piece of code for 50 dollars/hour
>that's about 1 AAA game/hour

Stay in school. Get your degree, kids.

When you just saw a random kid playing games you made

!false

What is the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to all your devices and accesses the data, the other is a hardware standard!

Coding has impacted my life the biggest by having 'scrum' meetings with my family over dinner. I start with..
"What did you do today?"
"What are you doing tomorrow?"
and variations of (depending on the responses from the first questions)..
"Anything I can help with?"

It really opened up the channels of communication with my family. It's not unusual for dinner to take up to an hour.

Quite the contrast of my childhood where dinner was a "better to be seen than heard" experience and eating fast and leaving the table was a competition with my siblings.

I have a job

My girlfriend is learning python and she figured out how to change her environment to dark mode. I'm so proud of her.

I clearly need a break...

Coming out the test today. There is a message from the Professor in the back of the test.

Here we go

We got married and started our relationship at 1.0. After our first argument, we managed to patch things up, so it wouldn't all break down: 1.0.1
Same night, I suggested a sexy new feature, and we worked up a good sweat implementing it together.
I got too excited and released prematurely: 1.1.0
After that, she was a bit cross, but then I suggested a hotfix. She agreed and got right on top of it. After a few minutes she finished and managed a release as well: 1.1.1 😏

Today is the best day of my life!
My girlfriend asked me to install on her computer Linux becouse she got suck with windows.

I'm waiting for the wedding day.