When my boss said that one language is better than others because it's being used by big company

My friend build a website on Ruby on Rails for his semester end project.He used Lorem ipsom to represent text.
Our professor thought he used some template and gave him 0.

Hit Save shortcut keys another 4 times just to be sure..

Don't put a hack and leave comments like "// HACK: Remove this later". It's gonna stay there forever. Trust me. Do clean codes from the start!

Never put more than 1 sentence in an email. People never fucking read more than the first line. Then they fire back an email with questions you already answered. Arghhh bastards.

Don't attempt to reach the Balmer peak at the office without first practising at home.

It will take many attempts to know how much you need to drink to achieve it. It's a fine, fine line. 🙃

To the new devs:
Never push production on friday

Indent your goddamn code!

learn how to Google properly!
no seriously, learn how to query well its important asf!

Every Monday morning:

I hate this 9-5 life. This kind of time constrains should not be allowed. I will not allow someone else to control my life. *gets ready to make rebel group and protest against government*

10 minutes later:

*sigh* *Opens up Visual Studio*

Who is the f*ck who set this shortcut this way ? Seriously ? Ctrl+z to save and quit ?!

PHP's die()
Because 'exit 1' just doesn't have the same dramatic flare.

Until the beginning of life universe and everything

"You're wrong. Accept it. Get over it." Sometimes I say it to others. Today I said it to myself.

Just because I'm a programmer doesn't mean I'm some nerd that watches anime, relishes in video games, and spends more time around computers than around girls!

Even though that's all true...

After 4 weeks of vacation I am back in business.
Now I need 1 week to rest after the vacation.

Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.

So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.

Customer: I don't see why you cant just make me something like Facebook for $300 this is ridiculous

Me: ...

#UnpopularOpinion

PHP isn't inherently a bad language. Bad developers give PHP a bad name.

The difference between Front End and Back End simplified!

debugging

first day of new junior.
me : tell me what you know about inheritance
junior : don't look at me, we're very poor, if my parent's die i wont get a single dime

me(in my head) : this is gonna be fun.

Why is it called RAID0?
Because the number 0 is standing for the number of files you can recover when a drive fails

Finally could delete over 10.000 lines of legacy code. Feels so relieving!

Code joke

My whole team was a circus:
- Dev 1, the senior: he will be spent his days coding his personal projects and will convince management that everyone else needed to prove themselves so he will have nothing to do and we will do all the work.
- Dev 2, the junior: he was convinced that his mission in life was to be friends with his team. He's desk was far from the rest of the team so he will show just right after lunch EVERY FREAKING DAY with a list on his phone of random things he wanted to talk about like music, artists, art, news, etc., he really thought I didn't notice the list.
- Dev 3: the vegan: you will hear on every chance how she was so awesome for being vegan.
- Dev 4, the expert: if you ask him anything he will stare at you in silence to make you feel like you are a stupid for not knowing the answer and then turn around like nothing.
- Dev 5, the ghost: he will show early every day, code without mouthing a word and leave at 5pm, I think I heard him saying "hmmm" once but I might be wrong.
- Dev 6, the coder by accident: he was a graphic designer and ended up doing front end so he hated his job.
- Dev 7, me: the one who didn't care about anything but doing his job and leave.
- The project manager: she didn't knew anything about technology but will attend meetings with clients on her own, commit to deadlines and then inform us that the project that we estimated for 8 weeks will have to be done in 2 with new additions to the features.

You know the drill, here's your potato :/

Deadline was 2 days ago.. Managment pissed off, bugging me every 2 minutes, until they get a call from the client asking to leave me alone to do my job. Awesome feeling..