Client: why hasnt anything been done for the new site?
Me: because you never paid for the last one thats been put into production
Client: yeah but that was a smaller simple site. I need this one up and done already
Me: it'll be worked on when I get paid for my previously worked time for you.
Client: but that was a month ago. I don't understand why you are asking for payment now
Me: because you never paid me for last months work!!
Client: but its may now
Me: holy shit, -clients name-, I know very well what month it is and dont need a lesson. I also know better than to work for free. I have bills to pay just like you and everyone else so until you have paid the last invoice, I'm not lifting a finger for you. That includes answering your calls
Client: oh well why didnt you just say that to begin with

Motherfucking fuck people are horrid and dumb and make me violent

There is an nerdy socially retarded IT head. He asked me to look into a project after the programmers left the company. Basically he gave me a list of modification with one particular screenshot of Calendar( seems like a JQuery plugin) and asked me to develop it.. I asked him to give me the link from where he got the Calendar... No fucking response in Skype.
So after a month he asked me to show the project, I showed him with the Calendar similar to picture and no functionality. He said it was CRAP. I asked him to give me proper documentation as what he expects and what he wants.
BUT FUCK NO. HE SAYS, "ARE YOU A JUNIOR CODER? DO IT WITHIN A WEEK OR WE ARE DONE. "
And I am here keeping myself in control not to punch him. he lives nearby my house wondering if he lives alone 😂

GDPR done right. 😂😂

Hey guys, I want to switch from Windows dev to Linux dev but I am coding game using C# and Monogame's framework. I'd like to know if you think it is possible and viable to code big game projects with vscode ? And is there plugins inside vscode which can add automaticly the framework's needs and create breakpoint step by step for debugging like Visual studio do ?

Thanks for your help ! :)

That moment when a client is all upset about a tiny bit of cutoff of some text, but they haven't noticed they've been missing labels from their map for who knows how long...

Stupid harassing recruiters.

DO YOU NOT SEE ON MY PROFILE THAT I AM WORKING?!

Fucking creeps.

Interviewer: We're worried you don't have enough backend experience for this frontend position.

That fortune cookie is definity meant for programmers.

Manager: I want you to make an architecture diagram for this system
Me, not sure what diagram but ok asking my senior then
Senior: You know those diagrams you learned in uni? Yeah, do whichever you think is suitable
Me, left to my own devices, makes a shitty use case and sequence diagram
Manager: We don't actually do diagrams like yours here. But I like it so lets stick with it.

😱 Ok. Cool.

One day, this ex-boss of mine dropped the following bomb:

“Stop using switch statements, the switch statement is archaic.”

The if statement should be even more archaic, right? So, should we stop using ifs as well?

Just met my old friend a few minutes ago and he asked me, "what work you do?"

Me > Well you already know, I'm a developer.

He > Oh, so you make mobile apps and websites?

Me > Well kinda yea but I work on websites mostly, will build my mobile app later someday.

He > Yea, you have something called web2,web3 and RSS FEED and you know anyone can do coding and developer stuff, only hard thing is to get a good idea.
(that was exactly his sentence)

Me > ......................... (in my head)

They should put it on cig packets

I fuckin hate workin on crowded projects. Every one seems to be writing by their own standards

Legit considering quitting my job and going back to my old workplace.

Fucking getting real tired of fucking around with html and css on the daily.

The school is fucking crashing down on our shitty as web services. But my manager (as much as we love her) is forcing everyone to double time on a rather stupid project that keeps constantly changing on the daily.

I am so fucking tired of it

"Crafted the wordpress way"

You mean, a huge pile of stinking shit?

"I was wondering why Monitors sleep and Keyboards don't.

Then it occurred to me that Keyboards have two SHIFTS. 😆😆" -some guy

*In Office
Coworker raises his head, looks at boss: "I'm leaving".

Boss raises head looks at coworker: "Ok".

All this took 5 seconds,..the weirdest 5 seconds of my life

The world is about to end

user is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.

This was what I saw on my first day at my job. I thought I was gonna get fired on my first day.

1linecodemasterrace

My girlfriend sent me this error message from a BIM software which she uses at work. I would like to see more sophisticated error messages from a software with a 4K price tag.

Skype for Business.

Overheard a phone call of a collegue:

Person on phone (P): okay so how do I upload the code?
Colleague (C): well you could use filezilla for example
P: oh... okay... yeah.... So how does that work?
C: you said earlier that you were going to hire a more technical person, a developer, to develop this wordpress side, maybe he/she could help you out with this?
P: I am that developer.

C: 😶😐

!rant

Is it only me who press the [Ctrl] + C multiple times to make sure the content is copied to clipboard properly 😅

*I can't help it, pressing [Ctrl] + C multiple times is kind of satisfying*

Bittersweet made it to germanys biggest imageboard. Satisfying 280'th upvote

When you mention in your resume that you are an active contributor to Linux source code.

Stop using progress bars on your résumé/CV!

Back when we were looking for people to join us, we got hundreds of résumés in the mail and online, and I saw so many of them using these progress bars to indicate competency in a particular skill or programming language.

Yknow what that says to me, and to my colleagues?

"Yeah, I'm ok at this, but I'm even worse at THIS"

Your résumé is about selling yourself!
We don't want someone who's '68%' in Photoshop or '82%' in JavaScript. We want someone who knows they're good at what they do and knows they can learn if they need to.

You might feel like you're being 'big headed', but that's what a good resume SHOULD be! Sell yourself to be as if you're the solution to all of my problems and you might just get a job!

Rant over.

TFW someone tells you that you're not a "real frontend developer" and then repeatedly asks for CSS help... 😒

Hey everyone! @trogus and I are headed to TechDay New York tomorrow (May 10) and there will be a devRant booth in the social network section. If any devRanters are attending, you should definitely stop by our booth! There will be free swag and we’d love to meet some fellow ranters!

I got a PGP-encrypted email today, from my wife.
I am so proud