A competitor of ours is offering a junior dev role. The base/starting salary is equivalent to mine 😖

Gmail puts emails from YouTube into spam, Google Chrome blocks pop ups from Google Drive

10/10 compatibility across products _/\_

Hacked a phishing website to phish the domain admin.

College Graduate joins the team, assigned the first jira story.
Perfect logic, variable naming can be improved, but I can let that go, since the logic was good.

Rejected the implementation in fisheye because she used
if()
{
//
}
Instead of
if(){
//
}

What's wrong with me...

.=true

Daily fortune;
You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.

*installs virtual machine*
*gets BSOD*

WHY?! Isn't there any VM Software that fucking works?

90% of c/c++ "lovers" whose favourite language is c/c++ apparently turns out it is the only language they have ever known.
Mermaid syndrome too strong amongst Indian Devs.

I spilled some Dihydrogen Monooxide on my laptop and it's not working anymore

Coding Etiquette 101:

TURN THAT FUCKING DARK THEME ON!!!

I had to renew my I.D.

I went to my town offices but their software kept crashing without hope because I'm born on Feb 29.

Client: is it possible to make my computer unhackable, untraceable, and make it to were it can never get viruses?

Me: yes!

Client: How?

Me: Just don't go on the internet.

We accept that the brain is the most important organ, but really, what organ is telling you that?

Fucking Brain.

Friend texted me some binary.

Decided to impress him and decode it by hand.

Spent 5 minutes decoding "I eat ass".

Aww Adobe😝

Guess who just collapsed several lines of code and then spent 10min looking for them.

I did a fucking scientific study about fucking rants and found a fucking high correlation between the usage of "fuck" and the number of fucking upvotes.

Hardware hoarding done neatly

My stressball went on vacation

My boss trying to fool me on my vacation days. Trying to force me to use them for days I were sick. Bitch. NO!

Is this enough to support devRant?

Emma Watson is my manager.
Paid in bacon.

Do nothing. Get paid.

Creating porn websites.

I'm a simple man

I really appreciate that it's devRant, not dev_rant

Oh my God..

Keep your rubber friend away from high temperature :(

//not mine

Seriously getty images, what is wrong with you. Usually it is bad enough that sign in forms say username or email and then only accept one of those two options. Getty images only allows for the username, so i enter that. Doesn't work. I use the forgot password function, have to enter username and email, doesn't work. Turns out the username is the email adress and what I entered was only the display name. Seriously, how stupid is that? What is the point of a username when you have a separate display name and just set it to the account email adress?

Fucking non mac touch pads. Why do they suck...

I came early today to the office

Found the office locked

Need fingerprint of Project Manager/CTO

With my mouth saying ah.. i blew hot air into the finger print sensor, 5 to 6 times

There u go.office door opened with welcome message

just hacked the system

Genius me