I shut down my laptop at 1630. After that, I officially no longer give a shit until tomorrow morning. My phone has Slack and Outlook, but neither is allowed to even run in the background. They're there for when I need them, not for when someone a work needs me.

Trying to un-fuck a botched rebase of a months worth of work. It took me a couple days, but it forced me to learn a lot about git's best practises and gotchas. It also taught me not to keep a months worth of work on a single branch!

Why is Teams such a pile of shit? Slows my machine to a crawl and makes my fan go nuts whenever I'm on a call, has never heard of UX when it comes to chats and channels, and for some unknown fucking reason uses entirely different device config for livestreams.

Fuck you Microsoft. Only you could develop such a bloated, ugly abomination.

I used to write games on my parents old zx spectrum. I never did end up going into the games industry, but it taught me BASIC and later C++

Not a question, but an answer to an architecture challenge. "This might sound weird, but I think I can solve this using blockchain. Do you mind if I try?".

He couldn't in the end, but managed to explain exactly why not. We made him an offer all the same.

Why are some people incapable of reading documentation? THE "DUPLICATE RECORDS" IN OUR KAFKA TOPIC ARE BECAUSE ITS AN EVENT STREAM AND NOT A DATABASE. THIS IS LITERALLY ON THE FIRST PAGE OF THE GUIDE YOU ABSOLUTE MORONS.

In knew it was bad at the time, but holy shit have I realised how shitty my last job was!

Underpaid (though still not doing too badly), underappreciated, and no promotion or raise despite promises of one for over a year. Of course the minute I handed in my notice, they immediately offered me a 15k raise and "oh, we can get you involved in the management side in 6 months".

Guess what bitches, my new job * is * being a manager, and I get a 20k pay rise. 2 weeks in and I'm loving it, wish I'd switched sooner!

The catch is, I'm now a manager. Does this make me the future bad guy?

Get at least 9000 devRant imaginary internet points.

Does anyone else feel like a Jedi when they use "force push" in Git?

Not me, but a colleague questioned himself for a while over this one. He simply forgot a semicolon when doing some server maintenance:

sudo yum remove application1 sudo yum remove application2

This didn't just remove application1 and 2, it removed sudo and yum too. One slightly embarrassing call to the ops team later, we had to replace the box.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should automate your server maintenance!

That feel when you retire 152 files worth of dead code...

The diff was so big, it crashed our review tool!

Having to work on the legacy codebase again.

Caving (AKA spelunking/potholing) helped me learn to stay calm under pressure, which made anything devops related much easier to handle.

Edited code directly in live. No peer review, no testing.

Coding gods, forgive me.

!rant
Just upgraded to Ubuntu 17.10, not really liking Gnome's lack of support for a grid of workspaces. Tried Cinnamon, which has some support via a plugin but is still far from perfect.

Anyone recommend a desktop env that handles workspaces in a grid well?

Just because Facebook/Google/Apple are doing something, it doesn't mean it's the future of technology.

No, we're not going to throw out large parts our perfectly good tech stack just because you liked their latest blog post.

If you wanted to always play "follow the shiny thing", you should have become a jeweller. Please learn what independent thought is and how to apply it, the results might surprise you!

Just found out that Perl6's module manager is called "Zef". Now every time I write Perl6, I'm going to have Die Antwoord stuck in my head.

I'm unsure if this is a pro or a con.

Am I the only one here who's never been asked if they can "hack" someone's Facebook/Twitter/MySpace/etc?

British summer, the glorious fortnight where outdoor temperatures rise to comfortable levels, the shorts come out, and we see the strange glowing fireball known as "the sun".

And in response, our office aircon is set to "arctic". I'm sat at my desk trying to code while wearing a jacket and gloves.

When the CIO referred to our entire backend system as a "heritage" codebase in a press interview.

Cue every backend developer scrambling to change projects, every manager scrambling to reassure the backend developers, and HR scrambling to hire new backend developers.

What would you all be doing if you hadn't become developers?

(Inspired by https://www.devrant.io/rants/659790)

Today, I fixed a dodgy unit test by stopping time.

(I overrode the time() method to always give the same result)