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buzzword translations:
"cloud" -> someones computer
"big data" -> lots of somewhat irrelevant data
"ai" -> if if if if if if if if if if if if if else
"algorithm" -> something that works but you don't know why
"secure" -> https://
"cyber security" -> kali linux + black hoodie
"innovation" -> adding something completely irrelevant such as making a poop emoji talk
"blockchain" -> we make lots of backups
"privacy" -> we store your data, we just don't tell you about it37 -
Manager: "we need an SQL database"
Dev: dude does he even know what he's talking about
Dev: "so which color?"
Manager: "idk well I think a blockchain has the most RAM"10 -
Buzzword dictionary to deal with annoying clients:
AI—regression
Big data—data
Blockchain—database
Algorithm—automated decision-making
Cloud—Internet
Crypto—cryptocurrency
Dark web—Onion service
Data science—statistics done by nonstatisticians
Disruption—competition
Viral—popular
IoT—malware-ready device14 -
My boss is like: Can we use blockchain to fry an egg?
Let's use blockchain in everything, investors like that.19 -
Developer Says: We have trained a model to automatically categorize user posts.
Sales Department Says: We are building a decentralized peer to peer blockchain neural network based on a scalable containerized cloud of quantum computers to power internet of things devices in augmented reality while users get driven around in autonomous vehicles powered by machine learning and pay for renewable energy with cryptocurrencies.9 -
Mom: You should do stuff with blockchain.
Me: Why, I don't believe in blockchain on the long run.
Mom: You should start believing in blockchain and you should start using it for all your stuff.
Me: Mom, i really appreciate that you are trying to help, but why are you saying this? My projects have zero to do with blockchain.
Mom: Blockchain is the future, because the media said so.
Me:...13 -
How to get funded in 21st century
CEO: we have an AR/VR/MR company that uses an AI that writes AI & we run on blockchain
What do they actually do: WordPress Bitch 🤣🤣🤣2 -
Friend: Is blockchain a programming language?
Me: No it's a java framework
Friend: Ah, thanks for clarification.6 -
Boss: we are going to build a blockchain. ( he is smiling proudly)
Me: we are doing data visualization boss!!! Why we need the blockchain?!?!?
Boss: I am disappointed in you!!! You don’t read any Tech news or follow the market trends? BlockChain is tending nowadays... ( showing angry emoji using his face)
Me: it is not related to our work by anything!!! What we will visualize? A success of the transition? The amount of it? A visualization of the nodes?
Boss: (shouting) there are a lot of opportunities using the BlockChain in our days, and it is critical to our business...
Me: boss, there many opportunities using the ******* BlockChain, and I am leaving this company by the end of the month... find a ******* BlockChain developer to visualize the ******* process...
Boss: ........ (silence)
Me: .... (already resigned)7 -
*Bell rings*
*some dude holding a book*
“I thought you might me interested in discussing our lord and savior, blockchain”3 -
Buzzwords for non IT people: Blockchain, AI, Machine learning, Big data and Cloud.
Buzzwords for IT people: Privacy, Privacy, Privacy, Privacy and Privacy.3 -
Not using blockchain to color my cryptocurrencies pink so that my AI knows which cloud computing would be best for GDPR1
-
CHILD: But how can Santa deliver toys to every little boy and girl on his list in one night?
MEH: (laughs) It's quite simple. The items on Santa's list are called blocks, and each block in his "blockchain" typically contains a hash pointer, a timestamp, and transaction data...6 -
Best thing about Blockchain is the creator behind it.
Does not seek fame.
Does not seek money.
Does not seek any fucking thing.
Prefered to stay anonymous.
All Satoshi cares about is impacting lives, changing the course of humanity and making this world a better place.
#ThankYouSatoshiNakamoto28 -
COMPANIES DON'T NEED FUCKING BLOCKCHAIN YOU CAN JUST MANAGE IT YOURSELF. THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF BLOCKCHAIN IS SO NO ONE HAS CONTROL AND IF YOU MAKE A BLOCK CHAIN THAT YOU CONTROL THEN WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT.3
-
Let's settle this:
Blockchain is just a dumb database, the feature that makes it amazing is trust-less ness.
Its not meant to make a decentralised uber or a Tic-tac-toe game.
Leverage the advantages of the system and solve real problem.5 -
Wtf how am I seeing job postings for senior blockchain developers with 8+ years of experience? Aint this shit like super new??12
-
Blockchain has existed since 1900s.
Which means that every single person who has touched a lego has blockchain experience of as much as {YOUR_AGE} years.
2 -
This is a rant.
I'd rather say go fuck yourself. I mean whatever the fuck you mean by block chain programming? Found a word and start adding random words to it and start learning it? I mean who the fuck wants to program AI in HTML? (Seen somewhere else)
12 -
I dont trust people who have LinkedIn tagline with any of these combinations.
Blockchain
Machine learning
Artificial Intelligence
Expert
Mentor
Advisor
CTO
Startup12 -
NO JIMMY.
YOUR 45 IF/ELIF STATEMENTS ARENT FUCKIN A.I.
NOR ARE YOUR 25 METHODS THAT RETURN A STRING A FUCKIN BLOCKCHAIN
STOP FUCKIN USING EVERYWHERE THOSE FUCKIN WORDS
FUCK OFF4 -
Guy: We should build a Blockchain based review website.
Me: Why does it have to use a Blockchain?
Guy: That way we can verify that only real people are leaving reviews and not bots.
Me: That's not really how Blockchains work.
Guy: Blockchain!5 -
devRant, I love you.
You suggested I learn Java & Nodejs. I decided to jump straight into node & it's just great. I haven't done much, just a mini blockchain and played with packages, but I'm having a lot of fun with node.15 -
an actual recruiter on LinkedIn:
looking for a full stack developer with 10+ years of experience with React programming and 5+ years of experience with the blockchain and machine learning.13 -
Time to change my skills from PHP developer to AI researcher, Blockchain engineer and grab some thousand dollars deal on Freelancer
3 -
Git, Bitcoin, actually getting paid for writing PySnek.. What the fuck is this doing in my feed?
1. How the fuck are Git and Bitcoin related?
2. What the fuck makes you think that open source and getting paid don't usually go together, as if that makes your product unique?
3. What kind of drugs did this marketing cunt take to make this promotion, because I want some!
4. What kind of braindead idiot am I for not including the fucking picture before hitting submit?!
12 -
You've heard it!! To become a Web 3.0 daveluper, you have to do Blockchain programming, and you get additional investor points when you do artificial intelligence, Big Data and IoT 😝
4 -
Because blockchain is a merkle tree-like data structure that isn’t synonymous with a cryptocoin. I feel like blockchain fell into that buzz word pit, with machine learning, that execs use to try sound innovative and smart in front of superiors.
6 -
Shit! I knew buzzwords were overused, but I just saw an ad and it is fucking jesused jambled bananas in the ass.
Starts with a woman looking out the window and there’s a tornado (seems ok for now)
The tornado approaches and IT IS MADE OF FUCKING NON MONOSPACED IN MY ASS FONTED 0s AND 1s. Bonus point: they are green !!
Switches to lines of GREEN code (kill my fucking brain with a pistol attached to your dick right now)
Probably JS or something similar in syntax.
And then: A FUCKING GUY LEANING OVER POINTING SOMETHING ON THE SCREEN! HIS NAMETAG:
Logan Paul
Blockchain
👏👏👏👏
And then some other buzzing asses armagedon en d of the fucking world bleeding edge vibrator buzzwords shenanigans.
Finishes with drones shot flying between businesses building with 3d floating words like
Blockchain!
Artificial Intelligence
Deep learning
Etc.
KILLLLLL MMMEEEE FU748-KFJV ING 3I6HT N0W $)&(&($8#;&(&8 jeiebc15 -
Had a final year project defence today in university. There were about 15 CS teachers in the room.
Our project was "Crypto Currency". After all the presentation was finish.
Teachers: so what is this blockchain?
** explained all about it and how it works with marker in a whiteboard **
While most of the projects were rejected and they have asked several cross questions to other friends, they didnt even ask any question to us and said our project is accepted.
Turns out teachers were taught by a student today, feels so good 😎 😂4 -
New company moved in above us... Slogan : Blockchain, AI, Augmented reality and banking apps.....
Dude come on thee must be a buzzword CEO4 -
blockchain.
blockchain?
blockchain!
Why THE FUCK does a game of poker need fucking blockchain?
FUCK.
12 -
0. Get a raise
1. Nove out
2. Learn GoLang
3. Have a threesome
4. More weed
5. Build a blockchain project8 -
Company that has tech != Tech company.
The amount of "Hey fellow programmers" I get from marketers of all people is cringeworthy. No amount of blockchain in your sentences will magically convince me you know anything about it.1 -
I'm working in a blockchain company for $180 as a junior programmer and there is a mid-senior guy who get ~8 times more than me. So we got a project to make a backend API with its tests. When I was partly completed my part of the project I asked that "mid-senior" to share his code with me. Nothing was done, and he asked me to push my changes to git so he could start to do something (view at my code and start copying). BUT. He couldn't even pull from git. He couldn't use that fucking Visual studio's team explorer and even the solution explorer. Ok, he was working with VS for the first time, but I did too. I cloned the repo gave him the environment to start "working" and get back to my work. After that nothing changed, he was writing each one-lined if block for half hour and the code was very dirty. Finally I've got his laptop and started to writing his part by teaching him all the programming. You may say I'm mad. I really do, I think that I did all project. This is sad... How can people get this much by being this far from the programming? We need really high quality programmers.3
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So, my UpWork account request is rejected, with a reason that
"already many freelancers with a similar skillset to yours".
In skills I entered
"AngularJS, ASP.NET MVC, .NET Framework, C#, jQuery, Semantic UI, Bootstrap"
Then I resubmitted the request with by adding blockchain and Ethereum.
Again rejected.
What should I do 😫
I guess I never can start freelancing.23 -
Skiddie Peasants: "Cryptocurrency allows for truly anonymous transactions"
Me, an intellectual: Explain to me how an immutable list of every transaction ever between everyone is great opsec practice when your goal is untraceability9 -
Hackathon rant.
So I had my first hackathon ever.
It was about co2 reduction which is pretty neat but our team leader had a different view on this. He only saw money in his idea so we build a smart energy meter that advised the user on how he should control his energy. And if the user had solarpanels or something his overtake of energy would be converted into a crypto currency and transferred by our Blockchain system.
The idea is pretty cool but it had no real co2 reduction and way too customer based. Which kinda sucked for my first hackathon but our business guy gave a amazing overwhelming pitch about stuff we didn't make at all. And somehow we ended up on the third place yay
4 -
I miss read someones post for help about a "Blocked Drain" as "Block Chain". I think I've had enough internet for one day...
-
I work at a startup and our office is inside a collab-space. Last week they organized a workshop called:
"Using the blockchain to prevent loeliness".
And even worse: people were paying to attend it :(8 -
+ Death of Wix and WordPress (hopefully)
+ Abandonment of Java
- Bajillion JavaScript frameworks
- Software engineers trying to automate everything
+ Cloud blockchain AI containers that mine bitcoin with machine learning technology in high demand2 -
Me: Decentralized, Transparent, Immutable, Trustless ...
Host: Please give a big round of applause for Blockchain industry expert!2 -
Hey everyone I'm starting a blockchain company called Useless Blockchain.
You should really get in and invest before we make our first billion $$$.7 -
I hate it when marketing people decide they're technical - quote from a conference talk I regrettably sat through:
"The fourth industrial revolution is here, and you need to make sure you invest in every aspect of it - otherwise you'll be left in the dust by companies that are adopting big data, blockchain, quantum computing, nanotech, 3D printing and the internet of things."
Dahhhhhhhhhh6 -
A legit internship advertisement I came across today:
- mobile app/wearable app/web developer in the field of AI, blockchain, AR, IoT and supply chain management
- multiple years of experience in object oriented programming with java and C#
- good experience with SQL
- experience in Kotlin is a plus
- Good experience with Android Studio, Visual Studio, ASP.NET, Android SDK
- Experience with SAP and Azure
- knowledge of Azure App services and git is a plus
- multiple years of experience in logistics and management
What on earth? This is a bloody internship, mind you.9 -
Guys, HTC is launching a Blockchain based phone.
The title goes like "First blockchain phone from HTC is coming soon".
I dont know if this is worse than the AI video i found on pornhub.
12 -
The ultimate UX:
It finally knows exactly what you are looking for, deep machine learning AI based on blockchain leveraging the power of the cloud shit
3 -
If you don't know how to explain about your software, but you want to be featured in Forbes (or other shitty sites) as quickly as possible, copy this:
I am proud that this software used high-tech technology and algorithms such as blockchain, AI (artificial intelligence), ANN (Artificial Neural Network), ML (machine learning), GAN (Generative Adversarial Network), CNN (Convolutional Neural Network), RNN (Recurrent Neural Network), DNN (Deep Neural Network), TA (text analysis), Adversarial Training, Sentiment Analysis, Entity Analysis, Syntatic Analysis, Entity Sentiment Analysis, Factor Analysis, SSML (Speech Synthesis Markup Language), SMT (Statistical Machine Translation), RBMT (Rule Based Machine Translation), Knowledge Discovery System, Decision Support System, Computational Intelligence, Fuzzy Logic, GA (Genetic Algorithm), EA (Evolutinary Algorithm), and CNTK (Computational Network Toolkit).
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣3 -
Recently, my friend and I participated in a hackathon and had the chance of building my very first Dapp. We call it FarmerChain. FarmerChain has a module called Farmer Bank. It's a simple wallet type contract simulating a "bank". I'd love some feedback from you guys. Any critiques/suggestions/ everything is welcome. Source code https://github.com/imshubhamsingh/...
15 -
Imagine yourself being a CTO back then.
Brand new Acura NSX. No MacBooks, ThinkPads are hot. Your company has its own skyscraper. CASE tools are just introduced and they’re hotter than blockchain now. You do software architecture in IBM Rational Rose, typing on your Model M and thinking really hard about Java OOP which is very hot right now.
You have Erlang servers at your own data center. You laugh at people writing in COBOL. You excited about aspect-oriented programming.
What a wonderful time.3 -
How to get investors wet:
“My latest project utilizes the microservices architecture and is a mobile first, artificially intelligent blockchain making use of quantum computing, serverless architecture and uses coding and algorithms with big data. also devOps, continuous integration, IoT, Cybersecurity and Virtual Reality”
Doesn’t even need to make sense12 -
"How we use Tensorflow, Blockchain, Cloud, nVidia GPU, Ethereum, Big Data, AI and Monkeys to do blah blah... "4
-
OMG ... please.
Digital era 2018 - Data secuity forum.
Main topic - GDPR.
First talker talks about blockchain.1 -
“I accidentally e-mailed my bank ‘delete’ and they lost everybody’s accounts. I’m sorry i’m just learning banking.”
“The latest Ethereum Parity wallet disaster”
https://davidgerard.co.uk/blockchai...10 -
When I was in school, people came to me every once in a while, wanting to make a new great MMORPG with destructible terrain and factions.
Then came the guys who wanted to make a new amazing app that will help them fix some minor life inconveniences (like tracking expiry dates on the groceries in your fridge).
And now there are guys who want to make blockchain, IoT and chatbot based startups.
I just want to watch youtube and post shit on the internet. :(1 -
Recenty I have studied a lot about Bitcoin and Blockchain. The technology behind these things is amazing. And people are going mad over it. But, are we really going to the right direction? I have doubts.
Bitcoin was targeted to be a decentralized system. But in the present scenario, if BTC.com, AntPool and ViaBtc somehow merge, they will own more than 51% of the total computational power of the Bitcoin network. And if that happens, they will have full control over the whole network and will be able to replace the whole Bitcoin Blockchain with their forged entries if they want. By the way, btc.com is China based and owns 29.6% of the total computational power of the Bitcoin mining network. Forget about merging, if btc.com grows independently, who can assure that they would never cross the 51% threshold? Same problem exists with other Blockchain systems too. Are these systems really decentralized as they advertise? I really doubt now.
8 -
Me: ...blockchain...
*Wanna be techies*
*Investors*
*Dude who read a few articles about blockchain*
2 -
I see the industry popularizing Machine Learning programs using AI to implement ethical Blockchain as a Javascript framework using Scrum techniques for Big Data Web2.0 in Responsive Virtual Reality for your IoT Growth Hacking operations.3
-
I don't know how to feel about it. What story it tells? Python is so easy that even vandals use it or maybe someone bleed on the wall how much she/he hates python. Or maybe it is scream of inner Vandal closed in cubicle who works with AI and blockchain for life's. What is the story behind this?
7 -
I guess now investors will throw less money on Blockchain startups.. oops but most of them just throw money in 🌊 and pray for good return.
2 -
My first rant. Very Happy to have people guiding newbies.
Starting with block chain (dapps) wish me luck. Any tips for beginners please let me know. 😀
6 -
So if bitcoin was created in January 2009
And git was created in 2005
Does that mean that git was using blockchain technology before blockchain was cool?7 -
i want to get my own social network up and running.
so far ive got -
login 100% securely
register (1000% securely)
view someone’s profile (10^7% securely)
to add -
scrypt (maybe bcrypt, however scrypt looks like the better option)
friend a user
track their every move (ill use facebooks and googles apis for that)
to describe my product -
ai
blockchain
iot
big data
machine learning
secure
empower
analysis
call me when im a gazillionaire
but seriously, im making a social network and i hope its done by wk105 tbh3 -
What if an evil AI is sitting on top of blockchain ??🤔
It would be impossible to shutdown ?
virtual terminator !!!6 -
Yeah so seems like huge companies are literally just throwing tech buzzwords like "blockchain" and "cloud" and "big data" for marketing purposes.This annoys me.3
-
why do i have an iphone?
well, let's start with the cons of android.
- its less secure. this isn't even arguable. it took the fbi a month or something (i forget) to break into an ios device
- permission, permissions, permissions. many of the android apps i use ask for the not obscure permissions.
· no, you don't need access to my contacts
· no, you don't need access to my camera to take notes
· no, you don't need access to my microphone to send messages
· no, you don't need access to my saved passwords to be a functioning calculator
- not being able to block some apps from an internet connection
- using an operating system created and maintained by an advertising company, aka no more privacy
- i like ios's cupertino more than material design, but that's just personal preference
pros of ios:
- being able to use imessage, at my school if you don't have an iphone you're just not allowed to be in the group chat
- the reliability. i've yet a data loss issue
- the design and feel. it just feels premium
- if i could afford it, ios seems like a lot of fun to develop for (running a hackintosh vm compiled a flutter app 2x as fast as it did on not-a-vm windows)
so that's why i like iphones
google sucks56 -
Honestly, I'm crazy fucking excited about ML, blockchain and containerisation.
Their applications outside traditional computing are what does it for me. I'm hoping to learn a shit ton of python and ML so I can apply it to help my significant others family research using Molecularly Imprinted Polymers to find and treat cancers.
I'd like to build statistical models of varying types and progressions of cancer and map how the MIPs help and interact so they can be better optimised.
SCIENCE, BITCHES!
14 -
Isn't block chain basically something like git where people take turns pushing? What exactly is the breakthrough?4
-
I saw this image on IBM's blog. The author was explaining how blockchain could be used to implement self sovereign identities. But, isn't the last step wrong? In order to decrypt Alice's message, Bob should use his private key instead of Alice's public key, right? Of course, while encryption Alice has to use Bob's public key.
4 -
And in the latest of "politicians like using tech buzzwords without understanding what they mean or do":
https://bbc.co.uk/news/...9 -
Well... Well... What a multi-talented personality...
Every connection I see on LinkedIn has these buzz words in their tag line: AI/ML, Cryptocurrency, Blockchain.
This guy even has Smart City...!!!
Don't know how many of them are legit... I just don't understand each of these techs are so vast... Still people manage to get expert in all of them in just few days... What's the secret...?
8 -
using rant.post.first ;
So! Wanted to share that I’ve started learning blockchain development and I was fascinated when I made two peers communicate and adding blocks one after another! Now I have some ideas but things become difficult, wish me luck :) -
Bitcoin is a toy which got attention like Fidget spinner.. but Blockchain is an Art it is future..
Anybody wants to invest $$$$ in other Blockchain tech .4 -
Food and Programmers life:
Spaghetti —> My Code
Pizza —> We are spending the night working in the office
Power Drinks —> delivery date is tomorrow morning
Candy —> extra task
Coffee —> bug massage
Water —> wash your face, we have meetings in five minutes
Truffle —> fu** BlockChain
KitKat —> upgrade your phone please
Lollipop —> one more time please
Marshmallow —> do you like some Nougat?8 -
Recently I receive a ton of mails from cool/hip/rockstar startups. They all run like this:
"We are a innovative Startup based on a [insert some random stuff or buzzword] blockchain! If you're a student with skills and experience in blockchain, machine learning and AI willing to change the world with our sick technology and make it a better place..."
The best thing about this: since they are a innovative Startup they expect you to work for free.
But who am I to judge something so brand-new and innovative. I contacted them to find out what these dank innovations are about.
They can't even explain what a blockchain is or the basics of ML and AI, they basically just want someone do it for free...
It's still ok since no one is gonna fall for this bait... this morning a friend of mine told me he got a new job... and he even can work from home...
I'm not even mad, I just feel sadness and sorrow specially for him, because he is a good dev and accepts big times underpay and now free work, because he thinks a day off in his CV will lead him to be unemployed 😭
Fucking hate it how people successfuly manipulate kids and youth to them to work 24/7 for minimum wage or even for free and some other douchebags trying to take advantage of this 😡1 -
I work for a consulting company, my boss comes into the room full of engineers trying to work on Adwords campaign and asks us what words to use. "Should I use blockchain, I heart that's popular. What about AR?" None of us have ever touched any of those technologies and he's going to try and market us as such to some poor potential client he's going to B.S to. Get me out of here.1
-
I see a lot of complaining of managers talking about blockchains, but I would like to know if someone actually had to make a blockchain system because of managers and for what purpose? It seems to be completely useless for most of the cases2
-
Me: Blockchain is going to change the world!
She: How?
Me: By not allowing anyone to change its state!3 -
New wave of startups using blockchain tech in their pitch deck. I wonder how many of them are full of shit and its just a replicated db?5
-
Did you say Blockchain, AI, ML? here is moarrr for you!
quick kids grabb your certificates before it ends....
4 -
yay or nay?
for who are wondering what is on the screen :
i am working on a fish tank simulator gamr, which every fish have different unique combination and/or permutation. i combined this with cryptocurrency, the idea is similar to CryptoKitties and Insaniquarium combined. the implementation is not yet done, but currently i am working on the in-game market front-end functionality.
sorry no in-game preview/screenshot yet :P
curently thinking about considering to open source it and a collab.
52 -
I am very drunk and in the zone right now for innovation.
And I just wanna ask if what can y'all imply for blockchain being integrated in agritech.
And yes I can still type like a sober mofo. Cheers2 -
Recently at my work everyone got all hyped about blockchain. I've spent years studying it and especially crypto so I like to think I know a lot about it. Now every time some feature is discussed (like tracking video views) someone non tech shouts out "Oh we can use a blockchain!" And I have to spend half an hour convincing them why it's a bad idea in this particular case. Like we don't need to share that data, we don't need to ensure integrity without trust etc. I mean a blockchain is a great piece of tech but please stop trying to apply it everywhere...
It's like people think that the blockchain features at its most simplified level don't work anywhere else. E.g. as if stuff you put into MySQL suddenly changes because data integrity is not a 'feature' in that sense...2 -
I don't understand the hype with blockchain.... Everything at the end relies on a huge network of miners which uses a whole lot of resources and energy right?
So isn't the cost of running one of these extremely high? And well another source for pollution, climate change? The hardware isn't running on clean energy I think?26 -
!dev
At my current work (sports wear bla bla bla) we recently had couple of brands come by (136people) and had a presentation. One of the market lead peps stood and talked about future plans and projects in the following:
👨🏻💼MarketGuy: "we want to improve the e-shop service and direct booking system. Think about it, AI, machine learning and deep network, these are all out there and we should consider working with it!"
👨🏻Me: ... *Thinking* "buzzwords, buzzwords everywhere.. dude you don't even know how to excel..
👨🏻💼: *Continues babbling about website, Blockchain and AI together with sportswear and the future of working together*
MAH GAAAD (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻
I need a coffee.. ☕2 -
I've been doing it wrong for 6 months! I've been building -> uploading my work manually to server using ssh.
Now I decided I write a script for that shit .-.
Though I'm still not able to make output take a different color in Ubuntu default terminal, tried many solutions but I still fail :\
Any suggestions?15 -
Always weirds me out when people talk about developing "the" blockchain instead of "a" blockchain. Like...you guys know there's more than one, right? At this point there's actually kind of a lot of them.2
-
I've spent the past few months working on creating a decentralized application network built for developers. Here's a link to a quick blog post I made explaining the idea. I'd love to get some of you on board! https://dev.to/alexdovzhanyn/...2
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Just applied to a blockchain developer position after being approached on LinkedIn. Would be my first real developer job! 🤞1
-
First: happy birthday, devRant.
Second: the more I use it, the more I would like to see implemented as a block-chain, a la Steemit -
Agile development of a decentralised AI, using a neural network based on Blockchain technology for big data.
Is that enough buzzwords to make an employer happy? :p2 -
Blockstack; developers who are using blockchain technology to reconfigure the web. It’ll make NSA mass data collection impossible.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
Beat that @theNSA
7 -
https://youtu.be/hkDD03yeLnU?t=8s
"I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic, see if I can track an IP address." 🤨🤔
I'll just blockchain a neural netwok for AI using big data in Delphi. -
How many levels of if's do you guys go down?
I for most try to invert as many as i can, If neccesary maximum of 3 levels.19 -
Coming from a parallel devRant universe(where %jAsE% is dead and the meme continues to live), here to share only my rare blogposts, starting with:
https://loosy.gitlab.io/2019/06/...
Also put down 🔫 my misery and let me have an avatar u_u19 -
One of my friends sent a mail to the university requesting a course on blockchain! I don't know how I should feel about this! 🤐8
-
That very "awesomeee" moment when you have to create a website to a new startup which are using all the right buzzwords such as blockchain, AI and machine learning... (wuhuuu)
Btw. will you help a fellow dude by answering my survey for my final paper?
https://goo.gl/forms/...
Thank you!
- and it took a whole year for me (and some desperation for help) to write my first ever post on here :p4 -
Am I being a debby downer or are blockchains becoming the new JavaScript framework problem? Like, the idea is nice, besides the fact the Bitcoin one is like 162GB, but why are there so many?3
-
A movie star in a upcoming blockchain buster, "The last echo", written in php, based on a true story.
-
There's this company that works in the RPA (Robotic Process Automation) domain, they describe their work as using A.I and Machine Learning to collect Big Data whilst following the latest trends in IoT, Blockchain, Web 6.9, and any other fancy term they can use while in fact, well... They're using an outdated software that uses vb6 modules to scrap some images and no employee have ever written a single line of code.
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The Elixium blockchain project is coming along pretty well! We worked on it pretty hard for a few months but then I had to take some time off to deal with life stuff, but now I'm able to work on it again and I can honestly say I've really missed it.
I'd love some more open source contributors (after all, that's what decentralized software is all about), so if you're interested, *every little commit helps*.
Here's the GitHub repo: https://github.com/elixiumnetwork/...
9 -
How to get funding for your startup in India?
Just sprinkle a little bit of blockchain on your project idea. Done 😂😂 -
I don't understand the hype among the non technical people about Blockchain! Why the fuck they want to implement everything in Blockchain? Don't they know that it is not for every single application and mostly used for some trustless applications?
Now one of our clients wants his restaurant website to be implemented in Blockchain!2 -
manager: i heard that bitcoins' price just dropped. can you teach me how to trade bitcoins?
*apparently he saw me taking the blockchain trainings provided by the company. told him i only know they work but not trading. i feel like he's so disappointed1 -
Blockchain
So I started researching on Hyperledger and it's associated tools today. Looks really promising. There is so much to read and understand.
Have you started it yet?1 -
The best way to get funding from VCs now is to include the following words: ML, AI, IoT. To even blow their minds more, add Blockchain.2
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Whatever happened to the startups of old. Where they don't mention AI, blockchain, omni, React, AWS. I miss the LAMP stack days.1
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I am excited about all of the AI blockchain technology using IoT running in the cloud, as a service. It has all of the bells and whistles -- big data, hyper converged infrastructure, seamless integration, a sleek dashboard with everything in a single pane of glass. On top of all of that, it's future proof!2
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Me currently in my 3rd year of university: hears about blockchain from my friends, reads 5 pages of ethereum white paper; sees a cool machine learning project, watches 2 weeks of Andrew Ng's course; plays a cool game, downloads Unity and makes a hello world game; hears about wifi vulnerability, purchases an ethical hacking course.
Number of things mastered: 05 -
Me: “I think I’ll check linkedin today”
Clicks on video: “... good perspective on growth and blockchain micro service apis that leverage ML models for understanding interfaces that welcome scalability within a agile environment...”
Me: *jumps out window*2 -
T(x, y)=x*(1+y/100)+√-1
x = hours estimated from Boss. if the boss
y = sum of the features with the following weight:
Multiplatform = 10
Web = 5
social * = 100
blockchain = 100
HTML-email = 10
Every other bullshit bingo term = 20
everything else = 1
Terms that appear multiple times count multiple times.
If the boss didnt give his estimate triple the feature-value and use 100 as x-value5 -
A long time ago: Joking about QuantumComputingAiBlockchainVR ...
Today: Reading articles about QuantumAi ..
What comes next? 🤦1 -
I talked to the client how functionality should look like on UI, draw a mockup, designed and made changes to db schema, created REST api, made documentation how to use it, told frontend developer to make changes on frontend application according to the documentation and mockups. Still no one have fucking clue how to do it. Fucking testers can’t write anything, only clicking.
So I sent curl code how the fucking request should look like exactly then resolved bugs they reported as won’t fucking fix because I will not be also making fucking frontend. Probably they even don’t know what curl is. What a fucking fuck.
And that’s what I am mostly doing from Monday till Friday to keep this project going.
It’s cause client are nice guys and we are doing something good, not some fucking ai, blockchain, big data, financial scam everyone is wanking around.
And friends are asking, why I drink. -
In the Global Blockchain Congress currently taking place in Kolkata, India, 'IT' officials from PWC India and IBM India start their speaks right after a popular cryptography professor from Belgium and a Blockchain entrepreneur from Brazil.
Every word these 'IT officials' uttered showed how shallow and business minded the IT managers and marketers are.7 -
Vendor : “We’ll implement blockchain technology in your website!”
P.S. I stole this pic from the internet
6 -
It's ironic to see recruiters in linkedin who criticize bitcoin end up looking for blockchain developers.1
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AI enthusiasts are people who dunno programming. They have SK - superficial knowledge and a keen sense to get the buzzwords.
Also Blockchain enthusiasts are mostly bloke heads.1 -
Did you notice these cryptocurrency thefts are nowadays called "Coin hacks", not "Bank heists"? Funny.2
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How to sell a useless product
Include those words: #blockchain #cloud #AI #chatbot #machine_learning #bullshit ..2 -
had an incredibly productive day today on the ultradark blockchain. wrote a bunch of tests, updated documentation, split the repo into 3 seperate ones because it got too big and had too many different things in it, AND accidentally fixed an annoying, deep-recursion bug that ive noticed for a while now.
seems too good to be true...1 -
I have course in university where I have to learn how bitcoin works and stuff.
Now you might say these concepts done there are "interesting". But when seen completely rational and compared to existing concepts, also invented after 1990... This is plain bullshit.2 -
Got a question for you all.
I'M currently doing fullstack .NET for banks, but I want to continue my studies this year, so my idea is to take the classes at night and work remotely at day.
My supervisor told me that he doesn't know if it's possible and he says that he's going to talk to the director.
In the meantime, I started searching and I found a portuguese blockchain company. It's fullstack JS/TS, Node.js API's, which I know and like, and React or Angular. They asked me for a challenge project and are saying 50% remote, nice compensation, equity and tokens (I think the compensation would be bigger than my current or future position).
Would you take this?
I'M kinda scared about going to a complete new technology.
I'd like to work with .NET in the future...16 -
be me, just casually watching a cs:go fragmovie. there's always 10 seconds of ads before those, so i use the time to sip some coffee. at that second, i hear the following words..
"The first ever blockchain gaming marketplace in history"
...now i need to clean my keyboard. -
Im thinking of writing a book on blockchain and possibly partnering with O'Reilly to get something solid done. It would be an in-depth book about the inner workings of blockchain technology, without assuming any knowledge of programming (but would cover every topid thoroughly).
Who here would be interested in reading something like that?2 -
I'm between Node js and (yes) blockchain. Node has amazing possibilities, and well distributed could end with the crappy servers era. Even my crappy server could fall to node in some weeks.
Blockchain is the best chance I see to take control over a market full of companies stuck in the middle's XXth century business model, and has a lot more to provide -
Just got started with Ethernum programming. God, it feels so good after using JS for a long time. Right now I'm creating my own blockchain chat app to understand the basics.3
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everyone glorifies ethereum and its smart contracts, but the actual build tools and overall development environment around it sucks balls.
when testing a contract locally with truffle develop and metamask, you have to reinstall metamask after every transaction because it gets out of sync with your local chain... people are seriously okay with working with this shit?3 -
I'm most excited about Smart Contracts & Distributed Applications.
In early January I started learning Solidity thinking it would be super difficult but was pleasantly surprised when I'd completed my first DApp in a couple days. Two months on and I've finished 3 major projects and launched my own Udemy course.
I'm not a big follower of Crypto Currencies at all and haven't become financially invested in anything really. I just love the way development works on a blockchain; it is quite interesting and It feels really fresh solving problems using code that will become immutable. -
Where to begin learning about blockchain? (Google searches return way too much information.)
This has been in the back of my head for years now. And with all the attention that crypto currency has been getting lately, reminded me to look into this again.
Note: I don't actually care for cryto currencies, I'm just really curious about blockchain technology.4 -
I don’t want to come across as entitled, but what kind of person gets a software internship in California?
I go to university in California, I’m a junior CS student, I have 8 public ios apps (2 charted in US, 1 acquired small sum [5k]), I completely designed the blockchain parameters and built multiple front-end apps for a new cryptocurrency (it hit 3mil$ market cap).
And I applied to 22 tech companies. Rejected from pretty much all (waiting on my dream company still). Do they just not even get to some applications or do I literally have to be superhuman?5 -
Entire Bitcoin market is going down. Any thoughts?
Just curious to know what the devs think about BTCs. I've started trading recently and I'm still positive it'll go up. I haven't invested much so even if the marker crashes, it won't have a really big impact on my life.23 -
We've officially launched the Elixium testnet today after months of hard work. Find out how you can get involved by joining our telegram chat: https://t.me/elixiumnetwork, or learn more about Elixium on our website: https://www.elixiumnetwork.or12
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Blockchain Pun
"I don't have time to talk about the blockchain but we can HASH the details later"
😎1 -
Ruby blockchain update: V 0.0.1 Alpha is available for testing!
If anyone wants to check out what we've done, or wants to contribute, check it out here: https://github.com/alexdovzhanyn/...
13 -
If you build a company on the blockchain you're basically committing to 100% transparency with your investors if you fail to increase the value of your token or coin your investors will be left holding the bag. 💰5
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What's your take on Blockchain as Solution to existing problems?
Do developers like us, have potential if we moved into Blockchain related development?10 -
Found this in one of the group's I'm in on Facebook. When everyone called him out on scamming people into helping him mine Etherium, he responded with so much word salad about entrepreneurship and blockchain he could open up a vegetarian eatery.
Very professional. I'm sure someone is gonna land a dream job on this one.
1 -
Besides alt coins, has anyone of you worked on a blockchain project which has actually delivered any value? I mean, someone besides the investors must have bought the idea for it to count.1
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This headhunter even took the time to bold out the hipster verbs like: blockchain, microservices, angular, react and vue keywords and hashtags ...
K thx bye
*BLOCKED* -
Exited about Hash Graph, Which everyone says it will replace BlockChain
http://thehindu.com/sci-tech/... -
Blockchain, Cryptocurrency
Me and my friends were thinking about making a cryptocurreny for college project.
And we don't know where to start.
Could I get some help?7 -
“In 10 years of political reporting I’ve met a lot of intense, oddly dressed people with very specific ideas about what the perfect world would look like... but none quite so strange as the ideological soup of starry-eyed techno-utopians and sketchy-ass crypto-grifters on the 2018 CoinsBank Blockchain Cruise.”
This is such a good and funny article
https://breakermag.com/trapped-at-s...5 -
We'e started putting together a formal system design spec for Elixium! Check it out here: https://research.elixium.app/s/... (and feel free to leave some feedback)
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I'm a web developer for some time now and I want to try something new. I don't know exactly what, but here are some possible "candidates"
- blockchain
- AI
- tree.js/Webgl
What do you think?6 -
In todays lecture my professor told us that our city is planning to do its own cryptocurrency. Why does everyone do stuff just because it's a hype?1
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One question to the devRant gods: why make rants uneditable after five minutes?
I find no reason to this. Even the paid version does not eliminate this restriction.
All social media I know allow editing your posts afterwards (with some, showi g a change history).
Maybe... are the rants stored in a blockchain❓ 😱😂😂7 -
On page 19 of the ethereum yellow paper: http://gavwood.com/paper.pdf it defines the address of a wallet as: A(pr) = Β[96...255](KEC(ECDSAPUBKEY(Pr))), which is the right most 160-bits of the Keccak hash of the public key generated by the private key.
If I expose the public key to the network, do I allow people to impersonate me and sign transactions even though they don't have Tr, Ts, or Tw? My understanding is no, that without those values you can't hash the transaction.
Subsequently, this leads me to wonder if the purpose of the address (besides identifying users) to obscure the public key so that the private key is at a less risk of being reversed? Or can the public key of any address be captured?
If the public key of any address can be identified on the network or off network (without actually being the owner of that key), how do you do that? Are there any resources on how to perform this that are computationally easy?2 -
Why isn't Monero popular than Bitcoin, its practically the BEST crypto currency ever build, Satoshi Nakamoto did a great job, but come on!
Monero is factually EPIC!3 -
Artificial Intelligence vs Internet of Things vs Blockchain
Which will revolutionise the world first?2 -
Hello everyone!
Since this is such a cool community with so many app devs, I though it would be cool to share with you all a project the company I work with its currently developing.
The name is appcoins, and it's a blockchain project that aims to solve 3 big problems that devs, users, Appstores and oems face everyday in the current apps ecosystem:
- the advertising: create a trustworthy advertise system for your apps, where you can actually invest money that will be spent on users that will use your apps; currently is a system where everyone is trying to fool everyone.
- Malware and Adware detection: create a system powered by the community to rank dev's apps, using a reputation system, and dispute by bidding. currently it's an unscalable system, with many detection flaws.
- In app billing (aka IAB): offer a new and easy way for users to buy cool things in your app, even if they don't have access to a credit card or other payment methods. Users will be rewarded by trying out your cool apps. Also opens the door for payments with crypto currencies in AppStores.
This is just a quick overall idea of the all project. If you're interested, checkout the website https://appcoins.io/
If you've any question or suggestion, let me know and I'll try to answer as best as I can, or redirect to my devRant coworkers.
Any feedback you may have, feel free to share it! This system is designed for us all devs, so your input is really appreciated.
Thank you all, and sorry for the long post. -
“Look I read about this JWT, it’s like sent from heaven, it will solve all our problems”.
* uses it as a regular access token
I see that most developers are not so different from all those clients, who wants AI or blockchain in their project, well because it’s trendy.
One example is json web token, I just can’t count how fucking many times I have seen it being used as a regular access token.
So just do your fucking homework first and research if you need that new motherfucking trendy technology in your application, because there is like 90% chance, you don’t need it, and will never need it.4 -
Can anyone suggest me how I can learn building dapps in fortnight? I went through a lot of medium articles and dapp university but all of it was not enough for me.3
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Don't you have when a job offer expects people to know certain specific libraries?
And I'm not talking about frameworks or something essential for a certain field (Like Web3js for blockchain).
I once lost a job opportunity because I didn't have experience working with a specific UI toolkit for Vue so I took longer doing certain things because I needed to check the docs...
I mean, I understand companies want people with experience but I feel it's stupid to expect us to know every single library for every use case imaginable from the beginning. Most of the time, it's stuff we can learn very quickly9 -
Today you can even sell a poop at high price by saying "This poop is using Blockchain Technology".. 😑😑
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I'm building an open source "decentralized cloud management platform" (hyped name :D) which essentially is just tiny containers which you inject in your software, so you could do remote computing through the machines of your clients, instead of cloud. Kinda reusing what you have access to, without spending extra cash on cloud services.
In theory, may sound fun.. But wanted to ask.. as user would you give companies unused personal CPU/RAM capacity for cheaper services?4 -
Not entirely sure why I'm not excited about blockchain.
And yet, I see job postings related to it everywhere.
What's so special about it?4 -
Thinking of making a project using the Blockchain to get better understanding of it.
Confused whether to use Ethereum Blockchain (Solidity) or Bitcoin Blockchain (bcoin API). Any help!1 -
I would like to learn how to do a full decentralized application and smart contracts, from the front end (react js) to the back end (c++) on the eos.io platform
-
!Rant.
After reading many articles and watching YouTube videos on Blockchain, how it works, the new framework etc etc. It's evident that blockchain can be used to eliminate many problem faced in different industries and so on. What I cannot seem to find is a perfect application of solution to these problems in real life. I know it's too early to speculate, but thinking of all the internal(or under the table money) transactions happening, what is the possibility of mass adoption of blockchain given these conditions.3 -
*learns solidity/smart-contract dev and is excited to start a blockchain revolution and spark new pathways to financial freedom*
realizes none of my friends even know what blockchain is, and don't care. feelsbadman 😢2 -
It's about time we get a new internet (like in silicon valley TV show). Fully decentralised wherever possible. The fact that you need to spend ether for every write to the Ethereum Blockchain is not gonna help.
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Been learning more about crypto and blockchain (i know i know buzzword) but I mean I'm still a noob at pretty much everything so it was hard to find something that explains all that at a really technical level. BUT I then found www.cryptoeconomics.study
and it's been going great 😊 -
Hey guys,
I have to Select my Bachelor thesis/topic in the next few days. I would like to do something with Crypto Currencies especially with the Blockchain System. There is a wide range of usage for that and i Think it could be very interesting.
The Problem is that am Not Really Sure what Topic or challenge my Project could contain. There is much to say about it but i dont Think it would be enough to just describe it.
There should be a Problem or anything like that I can solve..
Or Is it possible to just Analyse the blockchain and the affect it have These Days and the Future?
I would appreciate a few ideas or suggestions :)
Regards
Birdy513 -
I'm a computer science student and I'm looking to start learning blockchain. I think its applications have a lot of uses and that it has potential in the future. Can you guys tell me some resources which would help me start out with it?10
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I have a doubt regarding blockchain. I understand how it works, but couldnot make use of it.
I am currently working on a platform which let client to assign task to their employee
Now I am planning to make use of blockchain on existing platform, to somehow set up a mechanism to authenticate that employee had completed the task, as a certification to the employee. I just cannot figure out how
I thought of an implementation, ( if its possible ) where client will trigger the smart contract with some employee-specific data, and the smart contract will generate a custom token, which will then be sent to the employee's account. This token will be non transferable1 -
I am facing some problem on my new project. This is how I expect my project to work.
1. I am working on an Android application that uses Twitter sentiment analysis and gives out predictive result.
2. I want to keep the backend that is the python file/NLTK script on server/cloud/anywhere.
3. The Android App take the input and pass it to server.
4. In backend the tweets regarding the input are processed and after that a result is generated. The result is passed to Android App(client).
5. The app displays the result.
The problem is I don't know how to create the server(All I have is .py file). Secondly I don't know how to create request/response between the app and the server( client with .py) like how to create communication between them.
I have googled the query but am unable to come up with any reasonable solution. Any suggestions are welcome.1 -
I am thinking of doing a government system that runs on blockchain
Any thoughts on a platform i could use and documentation
Thoughts?5 -
Totally done with all the blockchain hype. Plz when I need a distributed secure ledger over time functionality I will be the first to consider bc. But until then just stfu1
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Take this how you will:
"The more experienced a respondent is, the more likely they are to say blockchain technology is an irresponsible use of resources."
Old farts refusing to budge from their ways, or old farts knowing better?
https://insights.stackoverflow.com/...7 -
I’ve been doing a lot of solidity development lately in my professional life.
Now I get that nested arrays aren’t implemented yet. But it is still weird not being able to have an array of strings.
(Strings are arrays of characters and that would be a meted array) -
Anyone have any experience developing with blockchain? Or integrating blockchain into their application?8
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Hmm. Just wondering, who's a blockchain Dev here? Have been in this field for years but I haven't met many devs in my field2
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Avoid the words blockchain, microsoft, competitive, startup, and equity. This works well for a primary screening. Second at the interview talk to them if they don't know shit either the company is shit or don't give a shit who they hire. Third figure out what you need to make to live without stress, any company that will pay it cares about their employees as long as it's somewhat reasonable
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I want to fiddle with blochchain. Therefore I will be creating my own simple implementation.
Are there any good books that can help or provide guidance or best practices.2 -
Is there a standard around checking the checksum of a bundled weapp to make sure it's the same as what the open source codebase would compile to?
I'm working on some opensource blockchain interface software and obviously blockchain passwords are pretty important, so we do all transaction signing client side and password storage client side, but there's no point doing that if the user can't verify that the password isn't being sent off to some server in secret, but the only way to ensure that is with open source software + a checksum check upon loading, because opensource software doesn't mean the deployed version is the exact opensource branch version.
Any ideas?1
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