2011: 3 billion devices run Java
2018: 3 billion devices run Java

BLOCKCHAIN?

I opened a terminal.

HACKER MAN.

Took a coding exam today ..

.. on paper.

Issuing transfers to unix for every developer

My parts came!

Got 2 Computers and 2 Laptops

1 is using Elementary OS
1 is using Arch
1 is using Linux Mint
1 is using OSX
And 0 Windows

Feels good man!

Yep, looks like a good weather app

try {
❤
} catch(e) {
🍺
}

PYTHON♥️

Took a leave from office citing valentine's day and now I am sitting at home working on my personal project.

Yaaaayyyyy....

5 beers in
Migrating a 200 GB database in production
What could go wrong?

NEW YEAR !

A billion dollar company just sent me a nice email template.

Probably the dev missed a tutorial.

DEV 101

NEVER USE PRODUCTION DATA FOR DEVELOPMENT

C: printf("Your message");
C++:cout>>"Your message";
Java:System.out.println("Your message");
Python:print("Message")

When you spend 3hrs finding a bug which causes the logic to be incorrect, only to find out the you have given same variable names for diffrent purposes

Android studio + a cup of coffee are match made in heaven! :'D

Doing a MEAN stack application which I'm hugely confident will be my most successful. It's 95% done, finding that last bit of time needed to finish extremely challenging, but will be so excited to show it off to you all!

MFW there is nothing to rant about

Me:*connects up laptop to projector via wifi bc teacher doesn't know shit about computers*

Teacher: *sits at computer*
Teacher: *closes the program that streams to projector*

Me:*facepalm*

Teacher: "Why did it stop working did you set it up wrong?"

If you are a System admin and blocking Spotify for the devs know that you're a fucking asshole and karma is coming for you!

How can I help you?
"my email isn't working"
What web browser do you use?
"Yahoo"
Err, okay, what's your email address and password?
"I don't have a password."

Friends do have their uses after all.

Me: I'm still trying to find a to-do app I actually like.
Friend: Don't you make software for a living?
Me: More of a help desk monkey but yes.
Friend: Why don't you just make the app you want?
Me: Because it hadn't occurred to me that I could probably do that until now.

Time to go read up on android development and java.

When I forgot how to do an if statement.

We've password protected a file and forgot the password we need it cracking asap.

Sorry we can't crack passwords on files.

If we don't get access to the file it'll cost the company up to 250k.

Well you should've thought about that before encrypting the fucking file with 256 bit encryption.

You're a bit too junior we need someone with a bit more experience.

Job was listed as junior/apprentice dev.

Every Indian dude on forums:
Hi I installed Kali Linux can you teach me to hack websites?

Me to wordpress "developer"

- No, you are not a developer, you just drag and drop shit in visual composer

That felt good

How about "nope"?
I have never been to an interview.
I would like to work in an IT company to get money(such wow) besides of my college time.
The thing is that... well... I'm not really sure if I can do this since I have 0 experience with interviews. I can not imagine the situation :)

Linus took cosplay to a whole new level