No. More. Writing. Code. On. A. Fucking. Piece. Of. Paper.

 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

My wife opens a document, writes her entire paper and uses the close ❌ button to save it.

I think I married an adrenaline junkie.

You know things just got serious when you reach for pen and paper.

An actual "incorrect answer" in my exam paper.

My son came from kindergarten with a picture he painted. And that's what I found on the backside of the paper.

I hate interviews that asks me to write code on paper.

Shit just got real.

Meanwhile, in some college in India, when professors try their best to make an interesting question paper.

Read the last 2 instructions

Took a coding exam today ..

.. on paper.

Who needs rubber duck debugging when you can do paper duck debugging?

Or is that concept too... Farfetch’d? 😎

Write code on paper.

Well I didn’t ask this paper #rebel

I took a programming class this semester in which a have to write code on paper, and the more I write, the more I agree. I give you my word-

I will ***never--- ever--- write code on paper again***

You can tell how much a company cares about their employees by a quality of toilet paper 😂

Travelled 4 hours to an interview to do a JavaScript paper test with questions copied from W3C academy👌

Presenting my paper on PHP Security in IEEE conference today... Wish me luck. I hope it gets published 😃🤞

I present the poor man's rubber duck debugging: paper duck debugging

Program accounting software for work, but use a paper ledger for personal accounting.

I wish my bachelor's degree would've been made out of soft paper so it wouldn't scratch too much when I wipe my ass with it :(

Today a Coworker got a little piece of paper acknowledging that he was a Git master, two hours later he fucked up all the branches.

So.. this is what happens when programmers are given crayons and paper..

We write our robot's source code out by hand and use it as a table cloth.

Anybody else had to do their programming exams using only pen and paper?

Please for the love of god name your variables in a sensible way! How the FUCK am I supposed to read your shitcode if you decide to write 6 (!!!) nested loops with variables each named by exactly one character. With no comments whatsoever!

I would rather crack password hashes than this nonsense.

2017. Where your coding exams are done handwritten on paper. Hell yeah future.

Found a Google employee in street view getting lost and using paper map .. There are also seem to be 2 guides with him...

I find it kinda amusing

I printed a cockroach in a sheet of paper and put it back on the printer.

You know there's a but coming

Having to learn "Modern web technologies" from a 60 year old woman who has never heard of HTML5 and build her website with tables. And we even had to code on paper. Fuck sake, so much time wasted

Being a software developer automatically qualifies you to fix paper jams and wi-fi issues in the eyes of your family.

Even at CERN, Gineve, rubber ducks Rule the World

The person who found this toilet paper company, probably was a programmer. Also probably the best way to describe Array with an Object

Writing codes on paper even when you have a laptop with the language and IDEs because college.

Dream : Write todos.
Reality :
Well, i should conserve paper.
Oh, there is a todo app in my phone!
*Contains ads*
Shit.

Guy: *hands me sheet of paper* What does this code do?
Me: *looks through code written on the paper* Well, most likely segfault.

*awkward silence*

Be me, and write a reminder down with a // in front of it.
On a piece of paper.

Recently buyed some toilet paper.

Now i just want to have an intense discussion about floating point precision with the idiot who developed the cutting machine...

Also, please stop printing cars or birds there. Thanks.

Today a friend tried to zoom in on a paper map that I had put on the table...

Interviewer:

Here is a pen and paper. Now code in front of me your answer from the preliminary exam.

Who else is bout to roll up and smoke

I have a pen...

I have a paper...

Uh!

...programming!

Anyone else jot down notes on small pads of graph paper?

I will just say one sentence and im sure school students will love it:
You shall not write code on paper !!!!

And now on paper

Not a bad view. @ a conference presenting a scientific paper.

>Upper management personal hands me a paper.
>"Can you make some copies of this for me?"
>"Why?"
>"You work in IT."

50 euros just TO BE ABLE TO WIPE MY FUCKING ASS

FUCK YOU, PIECE OF SHIT HOARDERS, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BUYING SO MUCH TOILET PAPER

It's 2016, yet universities do programming tests on paper! More irritating is the lecturer, who is a slow typist and can't do touch typing.

A temporary replacement teacher came in today, she is so fucking dumb omfg, I am literally shakeing, this pic will tell you everything.

It's spreading!

For those that can't tell what they're looking at, it's a vending machine with a paper BSOD.

My mom was not aware of the "forward" option in mails for many years. If she needed to forward documents, she would print them from the original mail, scan them to her computer, and attach the scanned files to a new mail.
She also didn't realize she can just save them on her computer, in case she didn't want to forward the entire correspondence, but only the documents.
I'm so sorry trees, I didn't know 😂

Ours teams rubberduck family.

I just saved the world?

If you're making me write code on fucking paper you better not expect me to comment it

Subway trolled
Hacked their printer paper roll

I built a tracking suite for our fleet of printers quite some time ago. Once a day, "bizteam" (aka sales) gets an alert detailing how many printers are in critical need of attention (out of paper, mechanical error, etc.), and how many of them are flat-out offline. They don't seem to care. I mean they do, I think? but. the offline percentage hasn't changed much in the past month or two.

These printers constitute a primary part of our business model and... screw it. they're goddamn important, okay?

A full 16% of our printers are OFFLINE. Most of those HAVE BEEN OFFLINE FOR 3 FUCKING MONTHS.

3% of our printers have been online BUT OUT OF PAPER FOR OVER A MONTH.

and what really baffles me...
We've convinced a few of these merchants to actually plug in their goddamn printers. (and yes, they actually *paid* for these things, and they're absolutely not cheap.) Some of those were previously both offline AND out of paper, yet after being plugged in, they're *STILL* OUT OF PAPER?! What the crap, people! It's a printer! it's not difficult! It's the same as every other fucking printer you have! and it's probably the same goddamn fucking model!

Did AlexDeLarge skullfuck your brain into mush? FIX YOUR SHIT!

I asked for some logs of the server... The guy brought me stacks of paper with logs from the server....

when ur coding move to paper

Windows xp manual really helped me today...

Because I needed some expendable paper and couldn't find an empty notebook

!rant

I often find myself reading a physical copy of a book or something written on paper and my brain just wants me to Ctrl+f

Look, what I just found a perfect paper cup for all of us here. ☕

Just tried to ctrl+shift+b (build) my english paper... I need some sleep.

No code on paper and no flipping MS office crap.

If I have to draw out a normalized database on paper one more time I think I might split myself into multiple indexes

Learning to code at the University was quite annoying in the beginning. We had to write code on paper.
Might be the usual way, yet it was really inconvenient.

If you make students take coding tests/quizzes on paper, don't grade them on picky syntax errors! We don't code on paper in the real world; syntactic highlighting and red squiggles will usually show you that you accidentally typed that declaration incorrectly. Understanding programming concepts is much more important than being able to write a program on paper.

FUCKING STARBUCKS

Get your goddamn internet speeds up to 1st world speeds

I have a fucking paper to write

tabs vs spaces is the coding equivalent of over vs under on the toilet paper roll

Having to do all programming exams with pen and paper.

Paper Duck Debugging

This Indentation of a government exam model paper 🤯

When the toilet paper tries to be nice with you after coding 😁

You are eating some nice snack.
Then you bite into some paper in the snack.
You open it.
"We have updated our privacy policy"

World class Korea's Scratch (yeah, the orange cat scratch) Test

You see the blocks, see the requirements, then DRAW the scratch blocks and do block coding IN PAPER.

WTFFFFFFFFF

In a family with multiple IT people, we rock-paper-scissors to see who has to fix what 😄

!rant
Since I joined DevRant my productivity went down...

Well... Im not sure if I should be happy or sad about it.

I finally managed to open a beer bottle using a sheet of paper

My finger is red as fuck but it was worth it

Linux geek started working at McDonalds. A customer asked him for a Big Mac and he gave him a bit of paper with FF:FF:FF:FF:FF:FF written on it.

Research pro tip:

If you are looking for a research paper to read and the paper is behind a paywall and is also not available on scihub, Reach out directly to the author.

There's a high chance that you will get the paper from the author as they barely get anything from paywall systems anyway.

Client gets an error message. Proceeds to write the error message on a piece of paper, scans the paper in as PDF and attaches the document to an email to tech support.

Had an interview with a potential customer last week, and he started questioning my technical capability in the middle of the discussion on the basis that I’m taking notes with pen and paper...

Yes, I can type. At 90+ WPM, I can darn near produce a transcript of everything we say. But I won’t remember any of it afterward, because it passes straight from the ears to the hands without any processing.

“You see, that’s what we have something called ’search’ for...”

...Yeah. Except that doesn’t help with picking out the most important points from a wall of text, organizing it in a way that allows visualizing relationships between concepts, and other non-linear things that are hard to do on the fly in a word processor.

“Well, how about we get you a tablet with a pen and you can just write on that, then?”

How about no.

Ended up turning him down because of other concerns that were raised that were, suffice to say, about as ornerous as you might expect from that exchange.

Me to my friends after writing binary search correctly on my exam paper*

git add .
git commit -m "updates"
git push origin master

Could you imagine a guy who takes A4 paper with encrypted text using modern algorithms and decrypts it in 20 minutes which pen and his mind?

Had last paper today... Finally 4 yrs of engineering comes to an end. I am a proud computer engineer....

When you have a job interview, and to test your knowledge they make you write code on paper.

Doctor: from 1 to 10, how much does it hurts?
Dev: eh.. well, you dont give much options

Just double tapped my old school, paper notebook to "wake it" before writing something down. Feel like calling it a week and just go home.

I think we have to fire the new cleaning lady...

Years ago I co-authored a technical paper. I now see you can buy a paper copy of it on Amazon for nearly $900.00

Its freely available anyways so I sure hope nobody has actually bought it haha.

As a programmer when it comes to writing something on paper and ending a sentence with dot(.) Makes me feel something is incomplete;

Got a java exams today, got to code on paper and it really annoying. 😏😏

It's not a compsci paper if it doesn't start the intro with "Recent advances in [insert name of subfield] show that ..."

Finish programming assignment.

Jump right into 10 page paper with auto correct/spell/grammar check turned off (technical paper, office tries to correct issues that aren't issues).

Finish paper, turn checks back on.

Realize ended all sentences with semicolons.

FML.

Worst nightmare for a programmer might be dealing with a poorly written requirement paper.

I just received a 400€ workstation motherboard like this...

Welcome to slavery...
._.

My setup for 2 months now
On screen: revisiting spaces as the paper I'm currently made me feel like I know nothing

Pen and paper. I fill notebooks with pseudocode and flow charts before ever touching a keyboard.

Fuck another headache! 2 hours translating C programs to Assembly on paper! 😧

You know you need sleep when you wave your hand under a paper towel dispenser and it's not automatic.

Going to write code on paper because i have test tomorrow.
I dont know what to do.
I dont want to go trough this hell.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

oh fuck there's no toilet paper i just wanna buy ONE SIX-PACK OF THEM OK

I really want to make a pen that will shock the user with 1000V when the pen detects that the user is writing code on paper.

When you thought writing code on paper in university was bad, wait till you apply to Google and have one of your interviews writing code in Google docs.

make sure you have agreement paper before you start developing project for clients

Yours truly is gonna get published again (probably, most likely) but has to get their shit together and write faster because deadlines.

Send good vibes plz. I've been lazy lately.

Day 2 in ComSci class (following my last rant)
"Okay, so! All of the schoolwork and homework will be done on paper and pen, submit and I will grade it. Only once, no second chance"

Okay. Okay. This went over my head. What are you gonna do? OCR the code into the compiler, compile it and run to see if we fucked up to give us an F? What are you, god? Here's a brilliant idea, teach them Assembly! Guaranteed error to give us Fs! FUCK YOU

You know you have a quality teacher for C code when you are writing a test and you have to write the code on a piece of paper

Me and friend talking about a paper.

Friend: how much do you want me to read?

Me: readln

Friend: ???

Design on a Paper: "The more time you spend on papers, the less time you spend on your system" - Random programmer

>Advanced code optimization class
>Professor : Your midterm exam will be written on paper....with no code.
>Me: ?????????????

HELL WEEK is coming!! they are going to make us code IN PAPER again.... no compilers, no way to check for errors, time to die again

I remember seeing my dad's computer and modem. He never let me touch it, so I made my own pretend laptop and modem out of scrap paper. 😂

When your PM can't PM their way out of a paper sack

Tempted to write in this super-scientific paper/glorified report: "our findings show... my ass!" 😂😂😂

We actually had a small "code on paper" test (more like a recap test) yesterday, but we didn't have to write much rather than just have a basic understanding how classes and instances of those work. It was like 6 small lines of code to insert. I don't mind coding on paper as long as you don't have to write a big program with it as a 1-hour test.

Our neighbors need more toilet paper badly. I wonder if they’ll go door to ask asking people to spare a few squares next 🤔

I wish EVERY SINGLE paperwork is printed in black paper with white ink for sake of our eyes.

try{
superLikelyToFailMethod()

}catch(Exception whoCares){

}

It is a written test, paper form, 100 level.

What is this icon mean in Visual Studio?

Better than toilet paper... WD40

Promising the boss a 95% model accuracy when the arXiv paper says it can only reach 86% is what I call self-checkmate

pencil and paper.

kind of weird right? haha I just like writing down stuff, it helps me sort the details out when I write them down.

Stop making A level students write code on paper for the exam and instead let us take the exam on a computer

I like to write my way through my problems. It feels weird to talk to an object, but writing on paper feels natural to me.

Think in math on paper before start programming

Me: Scattering the whole place for paper and pen to jot things down.

Goes to the shitter...
Takes huge dump...
Toilet paper status: null...

Let me guess, a Monday??

Having a really bad last paper syndrome!!!
Ughh!!

Thinking of making my own laptop stickers:

- Buy letter size sticker paper
- Print multiple logos/icons on sticker paper
- if needed, laminate the front side of the sticker paper with a thermal laminator (wife has one)
- Cut the stickers out
- ???
- Profit

I will report back with the results and pictures later. I assume they will end up a bit thick if I laminate them.

Publishing a research paper is way more complicated than it should be.

Oh, you're encrypting user data
Your boss: write the encryption key on notepad or paper

Programming on paper (any benefits?)

For the programming exams we have at our university we have to write code on paper (like full code, not pseudo).

I feel that writing code on paper really limits my ability to express my programming knowledge, in comparison to writing code on the computer.

However, I cannot think of a real benefit of doing so. I mean most programmers (if I may generalize) have bad handwriting. Which is a loss-loss situation for both the examinees and professors (who have to read the exams).

Are there any benefits for writing code on paper?

When a project manager has 'fixes' written on paper and wants to sit with you while you make them.

I have never believed that it would come to this. I am writing a javascript code exam on a paper. Honestly. I always laughed at posts where I saw code on paper, but now... I'm the same xdd.

New wall paper

Exams started today. Came back from paper, went to sleep. Woke up and was told I had mail.

...

Yay!
Thanks, @dfox and @trogus!

A pencil and a piece of paper.

Use a paper and a pencil to plan for your feature before writing code.

I need this, a dry erase desk for when I don't want to find paper...

I like to read encyclopedias. Real ones made out of paper.

Nothing like paper and a pen in early States of development :)

The fact that buying a paper train ticket from automates in Germany requires you to write your name on it afterwards with a pen is putting me through a lot of pain.

When you Render something and the name is just perfect!

Translation: Catched encoding buying Toilet Paper

Fucking exam on Electronic Building Blocks... (aka Arduino). Program this thing ON GODFORGOTTEN PAPER! And then these retards put in that assignment line: max 5 lines of code, for a function that does nothing more than divide two shit eating numbers! And half of my apparently vegetative class fails this! When you were allowed to use your book and notes!

Oh and also, here's a seemingly pissed over image of an arduino with some peripherals, draw the wires. Draw! How the fuck do I keep 21 cocksuffocating wires on a page without overlaps or unclarity?

How do you run code with pen and paper?

You know that coding - a primarily digital activity, is getting serious when you get out your pencil and paper IDE.

Long time no see...
My first ever research paper was selected a few months back. Never been to a foreign country, but COVID fucked the plans... Conference on mid June.
The paper will be in press after the conference.
Conference: EuCNC 2020
Paper name: RFF Based Parallel Detection for Massive MIMO

Noice

it's easier for me to build my cv on a website than arrange a normal paper/pdf one.

Doing college homework! Computer graphics and multimedia! Yaaaay!!
Except....

Well I have to WRITE BY HAND the entire programs ( net about 500 lines, phew ) on PAPER!!

Reason?
Professor: it will help u get thru exams and is a requirement for university. They don’t permit printed. It is a better habit to write ur code than print it.

Me: goes to my corner and cries listening to sad music 😭😭😭
WHHYYYYYYYY!!!!!! Why do they have to follow prehistoric rules yet!!!!!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

"Write it on paper"

Code on paper before rewriting the code on a computer

Writing "Algorithms and Data-structures" exam in an hour.. Only coding C++ on paper .__.

how do i click here? 😂 link seems broken

btw is a manual.. printed in paper

Headphones, phone in silent mode, my algos and data structures drawn on a sheet of paper, and a rubber duck by my side.

Just saying : devRant people can put another message in the letter they send with the stickers / stress ball and save paper..

Wednesday I started to work on a Tablet UI for my app, spend 8 hours trying things, Thursday I revert all the changes, Friday started drawing how I want the UI, never again try to work without haven planned the things.

The html error for when a site is unreachable due to national restrictions is the same as the burning temperature of paper (361)

Reviewer 2 strikes again.
Source: Academia Obscura on fb

Ok so: today I have an ISO 27001:2013 audit at work, wish me luck!

Call me old fashioned but I'll go with pen & paper!

Deadline for my paper is tomorrow. Still missing 1/3rd. Also haven't created the presentation for it yet.
#NotOnlyDiamondsAreCraftedUnderHugePressure

Some clients used to give my boss their texts in a printed paper, instead of sending the file...

Waiting for my demo video to finish compiling and trying not to think of awful reviews I'm gonna get on my paper next year. 😐 #AnxietyIsConsistentlyFun

It's just a piece of paper which tells that I know something.

A pratice paper for web development. How does this have anything to do with HTML5? I could have sworn the answer was A.

One of my screens is currently not woking (out of three).

BECAUSE THIS STUPID ADAPTER IS NOT WORKING!!!

So I hang the ERD for my side projects on it... it's nice to have it on hand imo😎

I hate only a handful of things in this world. Including: stepping in water with socks on, when the toilet paper rips, and business people.

IDK why our teachers make us write code on paper when we have cool, fancy IDEs with auto correct 🙃 I think they are preparing us for job interview coding rounds from class 12 onwards😂😂

F for those who miss a semi-colon and the teachers gives a round zero😂

!rant

Disqualified just because of a stupid paper called degree :(

At the core, alongside repositories and IDEs, the trusty pen + paper is best for seeing bigger picture and fast note taking.
Although my chicken scratch handwriting isn't one to rave about.
It's changed from cursive to curseive over time...

When you finish using the bathroom, realize there is no toilet paper, and have to stealthily move to another stall for said toilet paper. Why have we not automated toilet paper renewal.

Client: Why does this white box not show up when I print it on white paper?

I have been using VIM for about 2 years now. Mostly, because I cant figure out how to exit.

so, me and my best friend started playing pen and paper and after a wile we decided to create our own system. After a year of improving and testing we thaugth about a new java side project and more improvements for our system. time goes by and now we have three java apps for our own pen and paper and a lot of reusabilly code.

Playing and planing a new session of p&p is now so comfortable and fast 🤗

I've found a very interesting paper in AI/ML (😱😱 type of papers), but I was not able to find the accompanying code or any implementation. After nearly a month I checked the paper again and found a link to a GitHub repo containing the implementation code (turned out they updated the paper). I was thinking of using this paper in one of my side projects, but the code is licensed under "Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License". The question is to what extent this license is applicable? Anyone here has experience in this? thanks

I have three words for all of us who still use CDs/DVDs,
* paper towel
* toothpaste

Not being able to write code only using pen and paper :/
I had one job interview where they ask me to iterate a tree using my preferred language. I felt so uncomfortable.
And my problem is only the pen and paper.
I'm able to write working code without any code completion even without highlighting in any shitty editor. But when it comes to write code by hand on paper it feels like my programmer brain side turns off.

Ubuntu made me happy, then I found Linux mint with paper, now I have a stylish look😎

So I am trying to implement a deep learning paper.
And I started reading, It's fucking unbelievable

First page: maybe I will get it in the second page!!
Second page: what did I miss from the first page?
Third page: Woohw, let me start over.

Now: I am reading about linear algebra and basic probability theories.

I guess this is is why not anyone can be on deep learning research areas and not used by many developers.

So this Just happened, we were in a Meeting when Manager Tells us about "Time Management" and asked us Whatsapp we could Code for him,
I suggested that we use those Chips to track us and the employees, because we always use them to unlock Doors and Stuff,
Another Suggestion from another Person was:
To use Paper...
I was Like "WTF dude Pen and Paper? Didn't you listen?"

We now use Pen and Paper to weite our working Times Down...

!dev

I just noticed the toilet paper at my gym is better than the one at work

Exclusive DevRant tutorial.
How to make any sticker you want.
Materials:
Printer;
Double side glue tape;
If (paper != photography)
{
One side clear glue tape
}

Print the logos you want in a piece of paper.
You can use photographic plastic printer paper and only double tape, or for cheaper options simple paper covered with clear tape.
Cut your sticker and your done.
Unfortunately I can't cut straight.

This is a free to share tutorial, written for me to practice and for you to enjoy

NO. I will not write code for a website on paper. And I will NOT draw my website. Go to hell.

Client approved a design 2 months ago. I follow the design and build functionality based on the design and on budget.

What does client do... Doesn't want the site built says it doesn't follow their paper catalog. What paper catalog? I never got a paper catalog from design to follow. Three additional weeks later rebuilt the core of the site's functionality. And the final cost is 2.5 times over budget. Screw you Unnamed attorney search engine.

I have an Android development midterm on Sunday ON PAPER!

Anyome knows how to do alt+enter on paper? Or the logs?

Paper or e-book? Does it make a difference?

// Publish atleast 1 academic paper
// Complete my master degree
// Get accepted for PhD in Computer Science program with full scholarship/fellowship
// Open my own grill & bbq restaurant

A) Pencil and paper

B) Get away from the computer and go back to it later.

Any new cryptocurrency or blockchain network usually has a better front-end UI than its white paper.

Why people suck at theory even being damn good at something... Fucked up computer networks paper !!! :/

App dev paper questions

PMs in my office couldn't manage their way out of a paper bag

I still don't know how I feel about programming tests here in my university being on paper. Literally, we code on paper and that's it. Teacher corrects it like a compiler.

To day at scool a strange teacher tell me to have a software on paper !? WTF

Look at this my university's WEB TECHNOLOGIES paper. It is totally full of crap and shitty questions.😅

The bugs I write are like my client's feature requests. There are alot more than what's on paper.

Today in the train world - no ticket paper at the ticket automats, but money is still taken. This results in the ticket controller having to write my stations on the receipt paper. Is this 21st century Western Europe?